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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
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Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Erin
October 11, 2013 at 6:15 pm
I have somewhat of a unique situation. My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago after being and living together for a year. During this year its been one of the most stressful year of my life. I also lost track of myself and who I was. When we first met we fell madly in love and knew we wouldnt be without eachother. We also had a lot of fun. Then I got diagnosed with thyroid cancer, which I beat. This caused a huge stress on our relationship and definately not for the better. All of our energy went towards my illness. And we were also having financial issues. My ex then got news that his dad is dying of colon cancer. After that point stress built up even more and he became distant and unromantic towards me with a short temper.We then had to decide what we wanted to do about our living situation…to live separate or start somewhere new. He agreed to start somewhere new. And then ultimately I brought it out of him and he broke up with me saying that he loves me but hes not sure if hes “In love” with me anymore because of how much we’ve changed from everything. The last days together moving out we decided to become friends after a NC time period. He pretended like everything was ok and would reassure me and hold me, etc. He said that I dont know how ill feel later and who knows we might get together in the future….but not now. I have a few of his things from the condo that Im clearing out and his mail. How does this play into the NC rule? And also we hang out with the same group of people how should I go about the NC with him when I hang out with these people regularly? Also another reason he gave me for the breakup is that he wants to learn how to live on his own, since hes never done it before.
admin
October 13, 2013 at 8:02 pm
Ok, first off go get your things. You can break NC for this.
Hanging out is going to be more complicated but as long as you appear confident and portray you are the ungettable girl you should be ok.
Erin
October 17, 2013 at 8:15 pm
I have now learned that he is sleeping around with random girls….this is so crushing. Its only been 2 weeks since our break.
admin
October 18, 2013 at 6:05 pm
The definition of rebound.
Nichole
October 11, 2013 at 1:36 pm
Hi Chris!
I would just like to let you know where I am and how I am doing. I am currently on Day 5 of the NC. And man, it is truly hard, extremely hard. I guess I made it even more challenging because the iPhone now has a feature where you can block callers. So I blocked my ex so I wouldn’t have to see when he is calling or texting. I didn’t want to keep looking at my phone waiting in desperation just to see if he called me or not so I blocked his number. Do you think that is a wise idea? I miss him. We were together for three years, planning our futures together. Part of me think he got scared and unsure. All his friends are single and I do believe he wanted to be single too. I don’t think he wanted to be in a relationship. I am happy he told me and was honest, but being his friend was something that I couldn’t do. That would just hurt me in the end.
Here is another question I have for you. In the course of our 3 years dating, we lived together for about a year and a half. It was fine, not many major problems. But we ended up getting an account together. We got the account so we could each put money into it and when we went on dates, we could use that card. I am the primary user on the account and he was just added to it. We each have our own accounts of our own, but I was wondering, should I get rid of him as an authorized user. Or should I wait until I know for sure that it is over. I mean right now, it really is over, but I do believe that this would be, I don’t know permanent.
I truly miss him, he brought me a puppy in February, and she is like our little baby. And I keep trying to tell myself that what he is going through is just a phase. He is young, he will get it together, but then I am terrified that what if it is over. He hasn’t told his family yet about our break up, and his mom said that she loves me as a daughter. To be honest, I think he has a lot of stress going on in his life; his mom having a relapse in her battle with cancer; his older brother’s health; just so many things going on his life. Should I really do the NC for 30 days? He said he doesn’t need time or space to know he loves me, he knows that he loves me.
BTW I am reading your case studies. Today is where you reveal all the details of Sarah and Kai. I hope it is good. I really just want my boyfriend and my best friend back. Sorry this was so long.
admin
October 15, 2013 at 1:14 am
Yesterday I found out that my case studies were having problems delivering to people so definitely get back to me if you don’t receive it and I will send it to you.
For now yes you should really do the NC for 30 days.
Linny
October 11, 2013 at 12:54 pm
ok so this is like the 5th text exchange we’ve had since i got out of n/c.
he never initiates and today he sends me an email at 12pm telling me about some deal or promotion online he saw that he think id be interested in. so i texted him…
[8:57pm] me
just read your email. thank you!
[9:55pm] him
youre welcome 🙂
[10:10pm] me
how did you find out about it?
[10:27pm] him
slickdeals.net
[10:40pm] me
lol shouldve known. you were always best at finding deals 🙂
you wont guess where I’m at!
[right after] him
the gym?
[right after] me
lol no!
[right after] him
hmm i dont know the. eating somewhere?
[right after] me
krispy kremes donuts! (his fav donut place)
[him]
what happened to eating clean?!?
[me]
im having a craving moment. probably go to gym later though. im 112 pounds! i deserve it! >_<
[him]
gym later today? that would be pretty late haha. but good for you!
[me]
i go late cause less ppl. youd be proud of me i even bought my own weight lifting set and dumb bells!
[him]
nice! good for you
so dedicated haha
[me]
dedicated so i could look good in the clothes im gonna buy with the deals you find me lol 😀
[him]
haha well enjoy. thought it was such a good deal that id share. might expire soon so use it quickly.
im going to bed now. have fun at the gym.
[me]
i will! thanks again 🙂
________________________________________
ok this convo might sound all happy and dandy but the problem i have with it is…this is the 2nd time in a row he ended on me first! am i losing control? lol is this a bad sign? the first three text i ended it first and i think hes catching on to my tactics…cause he ended it the last time and this time…ALSO…my text looks longer than his…i feel like im lacking control of our convo based on the examples from your ebook since my text to him seems to always be a bit longer. the only thing i did accomplish from this text compared to the other 4 texts is that i was able to make it longer. usually i end it quite quickly. any whooo… what do you think?
admin
October 13, 2013 at 8:22 pm
Well it isn’t ideal if he ends the conversation BUT if the interaction was good and you felt good about it that is a win.
Of course, if your texts are longer than his you may need to correct that.
Linny
October 14, 2013 at 9:17 am
to be honest idk how to go about correcting it to make my responses shorter? i mean i feel like idk how to keep it short but yet keep him engaged or make him more responsive? also all the positive responses i cant tell if hes engaged or because hes answering to be polite? oh man i have no game lol
admin
October 15, 2013 at 2:01 am
I had no game either! BUT you just keep learning and practicing until you get it.
Katelyn
October 11, 2013 at 7:39 am
Hi! Me and my ex boyfriend broke up a little over 2 and a half years ago. We were each other’a first love, first kiss, first everything. We had a really good relationship but as we got more comfortable we started spending way too much time together to the point where neither of us had friends or lives for that matter. I initiated the break up and he agreed. We talked after that and began to get back together but it just didn’t work out. We didn’t talk for about 2 years until about 7 months ago I added him on Facebook and he messaged me saying “Hey I got a friend request from you. I wasn’t sure if you meant to send it” we then began to get into a casual conversation that turned into us being silly and comfortable with each other. We talked about how our song always played on the radio and how we always thought about talking to one another but chickened out. We even talked about dreaming about each other. Then we stopped talking for a while and I prepared to leave the state so I wrote him a letter and put it in his mailbox. It basically just said how grateful I was to have him and how wonderful he was to me. I threw in some memories we had and ended it with our old saying which was “a lot a lot a lot” and then added lyrics from a song from his favorite band (Coheed and Cambria’s wake up “So leave yourself intact cause I will be coming back. in a phrase to cut these lips I love you”) he then messaged me and told me he was Pleasantly surprised by my letter and he began to talk about how it smelt like me and how it brought back memories. But now I feel a wall, which he’s always had. He doesn’t like to let people in and with me he will let me in then retreat. After having my fair share of dates and guys since our break up I have come to the conclusion that I want to be with him. I was never happier. Every day after a hard day at work all i can think about is laying in bed with him and having it all go away. I just don’t know what to do. He doesn’t have a phone (this is true because even his best friend and older sister has to post on his wall to ask him to hang out) I need your help because it seems to get harder. I know that if we saw ea h other it would be easier for him to let his walls down but I don’t know how to do that. Please help
admin
October 11, 2013 at 6:25 pm
I like Coheed and Cambria haha.
Ok, have you tried any form of NC at all?
Katelyn
October 11, 2013 at 8:46 pm
Yeah, that was our favorite band.
I didn’t talk to him for two years. And then I haven’t talked to him since about August and I just recently messaged him saying “Hey, haven’t talked in a while and I was just wondering how you were doing” but he hasn’t seen it yet but it’s hard to contact each other because he has to use his ipod and he goes to his sister’s a lot where there is no wifi so we can’t talk and the thing is he’ll message me and be like “Hey I’m gonna be away for a few days so I won’t be able to talk but I’ll message you when I get back” And he will, it’s just recently that he’s seemed to put up his guard
admin
October 13, 2013 at 8:10 pm
Well, just be patient I guess.
I know, I know not exactly the advice of legend but I think it actually rings true in your case.
Vivian
October 11, 2013 at 7:21 am
If you get a neutral response, how long should you wait before sending another text?
admin
October 11, 2013 at 6:16 pm
5-7 days
Missy
October 11, 2013 at 2:06 am
I’m at a complete loss of what to do. We dated for 3 years, and out of the blue he tell me he wants to break up. He says he doesn’t feel the same toward me.For the first couple days I did things I should not have, like texting him, etc. But the Saturday after we broke up I initiated no contact. A little over a week later, he suddenly removes me from every form of social website. I simply don’t really understand what’s going on. I just heard today that he’s been dating at least one other girl, only 2 weeks after we broke up, but I kind of figured that would happen anyway. I’m kind of stunned, because, since I haven’t spoken with him in over a week, I don’t know what prompted this thorough removal, and it scares me.
admin
October 11, 2013 at 6:13 pm
I would gear up to do 30 days of full NC if I was you.
Missy
October 11, 2013 at 6:53 pm
Oh, I’m planning on it. I’m kind of just wondering why he would delete me from everything out of the blue like that. :/
admin
October 13, 2013 at 8:01 pm
This is just how some guys react to situations. I am the same ways sometimes.
Missy
October 12, 2013 at 3:25 am
And apparently he’s completely adamant about me meeting new people and “moving on”. I still haven’t spoken with him; 2 weeks no contact. I’m trying to understand how he could move on so easily, and apparently think so little of me now. :/
admin
October 13, 2013 at 8:23 pm
Well, go out and meet someone new and then see how he reacts.
Isabel
October 10, 2013 at 8:48 pm
Hi Chris,
I’ve read your e-book and it was really good!
I’ ve sent out to first contact messages to my ex boyfriend of something that reminded me of him and he responded neutrally to both of them.
In a few days I’m going to text him again but with a less threatening text.
1. Would “I was outside running yesterday and you popped into my head! How are you?” be a good text? (he used to run outside everyday)
2. Do I try to engage him in a short conversation if he responds? (with me being in control and ending it of course)
admin
October 11, 2013 at 5:51 pm
1. That is actually a good “less” threatening message.
2. Yes, but make sure YOU end it first. The converstation I mean.
Stella
October 10, 2013 at 7:03 pm
hi Chris,first i am sorry for my English because my mother language is Persian!!thank you for your useful experiance.i was with my exboyfriend 8 years.WE live in various city.we fight and reconciliation a lot through this years.but i always sure that he loves me.but one months ago we fought like always then he said i am tired with you.he leaved me:-(i can’t believe he doesn’t love me anymore.i called him and send text message to him many times.i cried and apology a lot,i begged him to back but he disrespected me all the time.i cry every night and everyday.i always remember our good memories specially our first kiss and our make out…please help me,Chris.i really want him back.today is first day of my “no contact period”.please tell me he will back:-(
admin
October 11, 2013 at 5:44 pm
Cool! You may be the first persian I have talked to on here.
Just continue doing NC and completing the steps on this page. You might also be interested in the E-Book.
cc
October 10, 2013 at 6:50 pm
Hi Chris,
I really enjoyed reading everything that I can tell you spent a lot of time putting together. Here’s the run down:
My ex and I dated for about 4 months and then he moved 4 hours away to the beach (yes, that’s important). My friend and I went to the beach just to go and he knew I was there (yes, we were still dating at this point) and he came with one of his friends. He told me that he only came because he felt obligated so I told him that I didn’t think he needed a girlfriend. I go back home and don’t contact him. Three months go by and he begins contacting me again and I decide to go down and visit him. Once there, he asks me if I would like to try things again. I agree. After dating in a LDR for a few months he asks me to look for jobs and to move in with him. 7 months later I find a job and we move in together along with two of his friends. 5 months of living together and he tells me via text that he feels like we argue all the time (which I disagree with) and that he didn’t think I was happy living here. After a week of being separated (I’ve been staying with friends) we got together to talk about things face to face. He sticks to what he said through text and says that he loves me very much and cares about me and will help me however I may need help. We are now are at week three of not being together. I still have furniture and what not at the house and still receive mail there. I have pulled my money from the joint checking account, per his request, and have run into him a couple of times when going to get my mail. We talk here and there via text, not about our relationship. The last time I was there to get mail he seemed very down and was applying for a new job. So now where do I go?
admin
October 11, 2013 at 5:45 pm
Well, I would say first to actually implement NC and that means you can’t text him at all for 30 days.
Adliao Shay
October 10, 2013 at 4:34 pm
Hi, I would like to report my status to you. I did send her message for few days. Then She had no reply my message for few days as well. I felt hopeless and was going to move on. One day I received her msg ”?”. This ”?” was to reply my message sent few days ago.
Then I tried to talk as a friend, and she asked me why did I disappear to her.. she said she was stubborn to eager a reason. Then I told her my true feeling. I wrote about 300words message to her and she was glad to know. Now we keep chatting as a friend.
But she sometimes is cold and sometimes passionate .
You know. i cant use no contact rule to her
I dont know what should I do , sometimes, i think if she wants me, really wants me…we already being together.
admin
October 10, 2013 at 6:58 pm
Why can’t you use NC rule.
Shannah
October 10, 2013 at 3:58 pm
I wonder if this article will work for long distance relationships? My now ex boyfriend is in the Marine Corp and lives close by when he’s home. Right now he is 1900 miles away. He comes home for a 2 week visit in November (enough time for me to complete the “no-contact” phase. Long story short, everything was fine. We were texting and talking like normal and the last text I got from him before bed was “I am so ready to come home to you.” The next morning I woke up and saw his profile pic on FB was changed to just him and I was nowhere to be found on his FB. When he called me he just said he wasn’t ready for a long distance relationship (we had been dating for 4 months) and that we had nothing in common. When I told him none of this made sense he finally said he cheated on me a couple days before. (I don’t believe he really did but it could be true.) I was just wondering why he dropped me so suddenly and I honestly have no closure.
My question is, will this article help me if: 1. He lives far off right now. 2. We aren’t friends on any social medias. 3. We have no mutual friends
I haven’t talked to him since the breakup 3 days ago. I still have to give him his stuff back and vice versa. I need help..
admin
October 10, 2013 at 6:55 pm
This article will: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-complete-guide-to-getting-an-ex-boyfriend-back-in-a-long-distance-relationship/
Lady
October 10, 2013 at 8:29 am
Hi Chris,
I’d like your opinion, please 🙂 My ex and I were together over 1 1/2 yrs. He travels a lot for work and most recently went out of town on a job he was overly ecstatic about working on. Then he unexpectedly quit and came home. About a week after his return he called me (yes I said called… unreliable) and broke up with me. He said that his being gone so much wasn’t fair to me (I’ve repeatedly told/reassured him that I have no problem with his travels), he said I was sacrificing too much (I haven’t had to give up one thing), and then he told me that her didn’t want me to think I wasn’t special to him because I am, that I could call/text anytime and he’d always always answer, that the ball was in my court… lemme say that again, the ball was in my court?! I dunno what to make of the whole thing? Well, it’s been 7 weeks, I didn’t delete him from fb just hid him and I haven’t contacted him/looked at his profile/stalked him in anyway lol We did pass each other in a parking lot 3 days after he dumped me. He waved like crazy, then before I had even parked he texted me saying I had just passed him and did I want the extra smoothie Jamba gave him? (Chris, I hate fruit.. he knows this… he repeatedly made jokes about how ” weird” it is). I simply said no, and haven’t talked to him since. So, I’m confused, why would he break up and say the ball is in my court? Is this some guy speak for I hope you go away, but I wanna sound like the nice guy? I miss him terribly, I’ve been on dates, traveled, focused on work, shopped, changed my hair, I’m in great shape but exercise more. I just can’t find it in myself to be the one to contact him. Do you think he still might contact me at some point? Thanks for reading, I know it was long!
admin
October 10, 2013 at 6:36 pm
Why do you hate fruit?
I am just curious haha.
I think it is possible that he will contact you but there may be a point where you have to swallow your pride and reach out to him.
Lady
October 12, 2013 at 7:39 am
Lol, I dunno, I just never liked fruit. I more a veggie girl.
So since it’s been more than 30 days, I went and looked at his fb. I found out that last week he bought a Groupon to MY boxing class… he doesn’t know that I don’t go there anymore. Does this count as him trying to get my attention? I’m beginning to think he is either very passive or I’m very nuts. Agh, thoughts please? And thank you, I’ve been reading all your articles, buying the book next paycheck!
admin
October 13, 2013 at 8:27 pm
You see, I am the opposite. I like fruits and not veggies.
Are you sure he doesn’t know? Sounds like he does to me.
J
October 10, 2013 at 6:25 am
Hey thanks for the awesome advice! I have a question though since my situation is a little different. I’m currently a 22-year-old college student.
I was off and on with a 31-year-old guy for a year. While we started off with the intention of dating he pulled away after seemingly changing his mind. Well it turns out he changed his mind quite frequently throughout the year going back and forth with his feelings. Either we were just friends or he would flirt incessently, reminding me of our good times. It was a confusing situation but I cared deeply about him. For a while I accepted that he couldn’t be decisive, especially since he wasn’t seeing anyone else. Our last time together was super sweet (August 7th) he invited me I over since I was having a rough night and he just held and comforted me. I was elated because he didn’t try to brush it off as a “just friends” or “hook-up” situation.
However, three weeks later I hadn’t heard anything from him which was strange. I told a mutual friend and she regrettably told me the truth: between our sweet encounter he had met a girl, went on a mini vacation with her and made the relationship official. We weren’t facebook friends so I was completely unaware of the change. I was devastated. He never said anything so it blindsided me.
I’ve done no contact with him and I’ve been trying to keep myself busy. I’m considering following your advice but since my situation was a bit different I’m curious if it would work or if I should try a different approach. I’d appreciate any help with this matter! Thanks again!
admin
October 10, 2013 at 6:23 pm
I think it is worth a shot definitely!
How long have you done NC exactly? How many days I mean?
J
October 10, 2013 at 8:37 pm
Since August 24th. I sent a casual text with no response but this was before I found out about the girlfriend. They’ve been official since August 25th.
I’ve been tying my hardest to think of something nonchalant to text him but I’m worried anything will come off strangely. I really would hate to mess this up, especially since he has a history of short term relationships so the ball is nearly in my court!
admin
October 11, 2013 at 5:52 pm
Well, why don’t you run a few texts by me and I can vet them.
J
October 14, 2013 at 5:04 am
Well I finally got a small tattoo…something we both expressed interest in getting for ourselves. So maybe something like “look what I got!”
He also is a big wine guy so maybe a wine question?
admin
October 15, 2013 at 1:55 am
Take a picture of it and send it yea!
Haha what is the tattoo of?
Alexia
October 10, 2013 at 4:32 am
ok so I wasnt excacty dating this guy but we had a thing where we were like dating ish but not. And so i was just cinfused those days and i was getting so much hate from my friends because of him and i was talking to this guy and my guy thought that we had something more than that and so he started ignoring me and he asked out my friend now and i really miss him and he meant everything to me and ever since we stopped talking i dont even feel the same anymore and i see him at school holding hands with my friend and stuff and it hurts, and ive tried contacting him and it didnt go good the first time the second time it went better and the third time it was bad and im doing the no contact rule and all i know is that hes the one. i will do anything to get him back! ANYTHING please help me
admin
October 10, 2013 at 6:14 pm
Wow, anything to get him back. Will you sell me your soul? No jk jk!
What was your first contact like?
Tara
October 9, 2013 at 7:37 pm
Hi Chris, been reading a lot here and im a bit over whelmed, i feel my situation is different. I was with my ex for 6m and we are on idk 2 weeks of break up or 2 days, its very limbo. He states he cares about me and that he has feelings for me, misses me and then follows with that he is just not ready for a relationship. I find it hard to believe when before he left for work he stated he would see me when he got home and loved me, after 5 weeks of being away he comes home to end things but doesn’t say let him get home and things can change, a week go by and we still talk then he gets called out for work again, comes to say by and continues to act like we are together. Personally if i guy wants to end things and he aint getting cookies from the cookie jar, why both with the wasted time and playing, so back to my story, he then tells me while he is away that its not going to work and he didnt end it bc he wanted to avoid the drama that night, and now after a few days of limit communication he states he just wanted to be friends for the time been and who know what the future holds. I feel so blind sided and not sure what to do next. I cant NC with him as we are really close and i am in the middle of house renos that he is completing, how do i stay at a distance but let him know im still here for when he is ready, or is he ready and just scared bc the last women killed him and cheated on him while he was away at work. IDK, very lost and confused at the situation.
admin
October 10, 2013 at 1:49 am
It is a lot to go through so it is probably normal to be overwhelmed.
You may have to try some sort of limited contact rule.
Bill
October 9, 2013 at 7:08 pm
Ok, first off, Im a dude trying to get back his ex-dude. But I think relationship rules are basically the same hetero or non hetero, and I’ve actually found your article to be really good advice. I’m really into my guy because we had a really awesome 5 months together and getting to know each other, he’s the first guy I’ve fallen for who has responded my feelings (and Im at the end of my 20s), and every gay guy seems to be very promiscuous but this guy was really sweet and down to earth, he was 6 months out of a troublesome 3year relationship and had trust issues, but I was helping him out with that and he was motivating me to go after my dreams.
That motivation ended up making me land a good job offer in another city and I had to leave. He visited me, had a great time, talked about moving there himself, then I had to cancel my visit to him the next weekend and he got bummed out and broke things off two days afterwards (Nov 2 2012). We kept in touch a bit at first but both got a bit passive aggressive in our conversations, then he started dating a guy he met at one of my neighbor’s parties three weeks after dumping me, by the end of december I had gone no contact. during the following year we ran into each other once in march, I erased him and his bf from facebook, then sent an email and made a couple of phone calls and had a couple of chats on skype during the following months, all akward for the most part, and then I went to his place to say hello with some friends when I was visiting in June and he was nice and slipped in a comment that he had broken up with the other guy, they lasted about 8months. I called him up to go get coffee while I was still in town but he got rude with me, so I applied no contact again.
Now I moved back at the beginning of september to his city, also because of work, I got a project here all for myself and am trying to land another one, hopefully I can open up my own office in a couple years (spent my time in the other city focusing on my work and my health, and networking). And finally ran into him a couple weeks ago at a bar, he apologized for being rude to me last time i visited right of the bat, I told him I had found out that he had just been dumped and it was understandable. He later came up to my friends and I and talked to us a bit and told me he would like us to go for coffee to catch up sometime. I was ecstatic, he canceled on me once during the week though and I canceled on him the following time, but we went out the following friday to a concert to which he took a friend and i took another. I made a comment about a music festival de following weekend and my plans for the road-trip to get there having fallen through, his friend offered to take me, I accepted. The following week I messaged him but he never got back to me, and then the weekend came once more and I left for the festival with his friend and ended up staying at the hotel with him and his friends. My ex was at the festival also but staying with some other friends. The following day I find out he started dating his “friend” who I was staying with the past friday after we left the concert. I took alot of effort but I spent that day alone at the festival trying to collect myself and then started letting them know I was happy for them, and talked things over with his date and actually was getting along really well with him. The following day I hang out with all of them, and am having a good time but then my ex starts insisting I switch to the hotel he is staying at. He talks it over with his date and he says my ex insisted and I should go, so that night my ex picks me up at his date’s hotel and on our way to his hotel he starts scolding me for having abused his date’s trust and overstayed my welcome etc, I told him he could have avoided it all by telling me he had started dating him before I came all the way out there with him, so when we got to his hotel I took my luggage and left on my own, ended up taking a bus back home.
Since getting back into town this past monday, I’ve chatted with his date and couple other people that were on the trip to apologize for leaving so abruptly and just tell then I didn’t want to be in anybody’s way. Turns out his date his housemate with my first bf who I am good friends with now also.
Sorry for the long post, but am I crazy to still want him back? I sent him a message apologizing to him too, but explaining he had let me go into an awkward situation and it just got out of hand for both of us. but although all of his friends and even his date answered back he read my message and has completely ignored it. I suppose I should start no contact for 30 days now. I just feel sometimes like he wants me back and was trying to get me jealous but it got out of hand for him or something, maybe I’m delusional. But you probably know a lot more stories and I’m tired of sounding like a broken record with my friends who have been telling me to move on for the past almost a year now
admin
October 10, 2013 at 1:47 am
Yea the rules (while some may be different) I think are interchangable to both men and women.
No, you are normal to want an ex back. Of course, I guess my perspective is different since I interact with thousands. And of course, I think NC for 30 days is ideal at this point.
Jax
October 9, 2013 at 2:54 pm
My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago and I didn’t contact him for three weeks and I thought I was ready to talk to him to sort things out. He’s completely over me – he says he’s not attracted to me anymore. But he sti treats me like when we were dating and even says things like ‘it’s impossible for me to resist you, you’re so beatiful’. He’s not seeing anyone yet and even seemed a little disappointed when I told him that I’m seeing somebody and recommended me not getting into another relationship for awhile. He really wants to be friends with me and when we start talking, he’d stay 2-3hours more than he planned because he misses talking to me. But he’s so determined that he doesn’t want to date me. He still says I’m the best pesos whom he ever met.. I’m confused. I asked him if he wanted to hang out this weekend. He sounds like he’s down but should I not?
admin
October 10, 2013 at 1:33 am
Do No contact. My simple, but very effective advice. MAKE SURE YOU READ THIS ENTIRE ARTICLE! Have no clue if you did but it can really really help you.
Sasha
October 9, 2013 at 7:54 am
Hey Chris 🙂
You are doing a commendable job here !!!
Thanks for the wonderful info abt a guy’s psych 😉
So my guy broke up with me cuz of my past sexual history with my ex, while he is a virgin. He feels I should have told about all this before and that by hiding I was being untrue to him.
We had a huge fight and I called him shallow and other mean stuff.
He dumped me saying he needs time to adjust with all this info. I begged, cried etc etc
That’s when I read your website and have now entered the NC phase with strict obedience. However, he hasn’t initiated any contact and it has been more than a week. That could also be as my best friend asked him explicitly to stay away from me and not contact at all.
Will he ever contact me? Or has he given up already…
Do you suggest that I should initiate contact after one month even if he doesn’t try to contact me all this while ?
We live in different countries and he is goin to come here for sometime in January. Should I try to meet him during that time or just let it go ?
admin
October 10, 2013 at 12:34 am
Well, hopefully he will contact you but remember YOU should be the one to reach out to him after NC.
You might also get something out of the LDR post.
Sasha
October 10, 2013 at 6:55 am
Thanks Chris so much 🙂
Vanessa
October 9, 2013 at 1:34 am
Hey! I’m so ready to try this! I’m a senior in highschool and we went out for 8 months. I broke up to him because I was mad and didn’t think things through. However, I’m unsure what to do about the whole no contact rule because we’re in a dance team together. We HAVE to see each other everyday and even dance together at some points. Idk how to make the no contact work if we’re constantly there and constantly giving each other jealousy looks when we see the other having fun with another of our teammates. What should I do???
admin
October 10, 2013 at 12:24 am
Yea it can be a little more challenging it is still possible though. You might have to make modifications to your NC. Maybe make it a LC.
Vanessa
October 11, 2013 at 12:38 am
Alright. But how would this LC work? Like how do I act? He foes try talking to me. Even jokes around sometimes. I don’t want to act cold and short-answered cause then he’ll think I’m a bitch. But then if I act like I used to, LOLing and talking back, he might think he already has me in his pocket which is no good right? And then if I act kinda in the middle, like laugh a little and respond in a friendly matter, he’ll probably think I’m just trying to be his friend. And i don’t want to be friend zoned. So how should I do it? Act uninterested? Interested? Flirty? Coldly?
And like I mentioned before, there’s times when HE is the one acting coldly. Why? Cause I’m LOLing with my other guy teammates.
How should I act then? Keep it smiley and nice or indifferent as well?
Thanks a lot!!
admin
October 11, 2013 at 6:09 pm
It is essentially NC except you are allowed to talk to him in person but you usually are friendly but don’t keep the conversation too long.
Doreta
October 8, 2013 at 2:04 pm
After a first contact him when i should text for good times, i mean how much i have to wait after a first move to pass in move 2,3,4.. Etc
admin
October 9, 2013 at 2:11 am
I do a good job explaining this in the E-Book so I would get that if you want the full know how.
But if you are getting positieve responses I would say every couple of days (after positive responses) you progress.