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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
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The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
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vivienne
August 29, 2013 at 6:45 pm
hi,my boyfriend and i broke up last year, but we r back in touch again. he helped me move into my house and even got me a TV. however, he has this girl in his life who he said broke him and affected him in ways that i could not do though he gave me more time and advantage.i told him that i still loved him and always will, however i dont know if he still loves me and if i still have a chance with him.
admin
August 31, 2013 at 1:50 am
I think if you play your cards right you can definitely improve your chances.Is he dating a new girl?
Kandi
August 29, 2013 at 3:26 pm
The guy I was sort of seeing is my neighbour. It had only just began for 2 weeks but I slept with him. He now ignores me. Mine sounds like a hopeless situation but I really dont want to lose him. Will the 30 days no contact work on someone I met 2 weeks ago
admin
August 29, 2013 at 6:03 pm
Hmmm…. I don’t think it will be effective in this case. It sounds to me you were just a one night stand with him. Is that true?
Kandi
August 30, 2013 at 6:26 am
It was heavy p*tting. The only thing that didnt happen was intercourse but everything else happened. The thing that makes me feel bad is that I begged him not to go back to his house that morning
Kandi
August 31, 2013 at 2:17 pm
So I have no chance at all?
admin
September 1, 2013 at 4:27 am
Sorry for the late reply. I think NC is a must in your situation. You have a chance but that doesn’t mean you will succeed.
Axel
August 29, 2013 at 5:12 am
So today is the 17 day of my NC and he didn’t try to contact me or anything.It doesn’t even seem he cares or misses me 🙁
And i started with bunches of new stuff and met new people.And he even thinks that i’m happy.I know this because he told his sister and she told me.
admin
August 29, 2013 at 5:41 pm
I doubt he would tell his sister what he was really feeling. I wouldn’t tell my brother.
Axel
August 31, 2013 at 10:08 am
But he doesn’t seem to miss me or even care.It has been 19 days now e-e
admin
September 1, 2013 at 4:18 am
Stay the course. He may just be really stubborn.
Axel
August 31, 2013 at 10:22 am
And he even said to someone he doesn’t care about me at all :c
admin
September 1, 2013 at 4:21 am
Well I am sure that is really tough to hear. However, it is entirely possible he is just frustrated and sore from the breakup. (EVEN IF HE INIITIATED IT.)
Dawn
August 29, 2013 at 5:12 am
I am 2 weeks into NC with my husband who left me to be with his pregnant ex girlfriend from 4 years ago. (He is claiming to his family the baby is his but The baby is NOT his. We live 1500 miles away and lets just say I know its not his unless SHE came to see HIM bc he didn’t go anywhere like that to see her. His schedule simply didn’t allow it and we have been together everyday before he left home)So basically he wants to save her and be the hero.
So all of the sudden, I am bombed with his decision for a fast divorce and I found out soon enough that it wasn;t all the lame excuses…it was an affair, which I know he said he didn’t feel respected and I give daggers with my words. Basically, I let my fears out of my mouth and it comes out as an accusation and thats what we have called daggers. Thats my shortcoming.
So at first, I did everything youre not supposed to do..I was in total panic mode. But now I have been in NC mode and on day 11, he texts twice and calls once. and on day 12, (today), he called again and then sent an email. All he wants to know is since I gave him the card saying I was okay with the divorce, he wants to know if I mean to say that the divorce will be uncontested.
I will avoid communication with him but I actually had a chat with his mom, dont shoot me – I just came upon your website tonight, that I was being faithful to him and that I was still hoping he will make the right choice and come home one day but that I will give him the divorce if he forces it.
So how do I do some damage control if she shares what I sent her? (Plus, after our chat, I found out that she supports this exgirlfriend relationship)And when it comes time to text him and all he wants to know about are details of the divorce, how do I respond? Do I verbally agree because if I don’t, it will keep him away…but do I even discuss it? Do I just tell him I am not comfortable discussing the divorce right now? It seems that all he cares to know about and never wants to talk about anything else. Before the NC, he once demanded we NOT talk about anything except “DETAILS, NOW!” He wants to file so quickly before that baby is born. This girl is a piece of work. He is a stepfather to my 4 children which 2 of them he has raised since they were babies..5mths old & 2 yrs old. He just dropped them like nothing after being the only father they really ever had for 4 years. But she is willingly and proudly being a home wrecker. I just dont know what to say to him. Sorry, I am wordy and have all those questions!!!Thanks for any help!!
admin
August 29, 2013 at 5:40 pm
OMG this is the most drama filled situation ever.
Why do you even want him back? He seems like a scumbag to me.
I say stay in NC for 30 days still and let him suffer…. ahem I mean worry. And if you do break NC to talk to him just say “I am not comfortable discussing the divorce right now.”
Dawn
August 29, 2013 at 5:20 am
Oh and the card was some of “TDub’s opening move” advice,if you know who I am talking about.It is basically to get on his side of things. Of course I don’t want the divorce…but Im guessing you know this strategy all too well. 🙂
Jenny
August 28, 2013 at 9:26 pm
My ex and I were together for almost a year. While we were dating, I felt loved and I loved him and gave the relationship my best. I started to lose focus on my career and let go of myself. One thing that bothered me was that he never apologized first. Over time, I became really frustrated with that and nagged him. He also stopped letting me know how much he loved me. He did tell me everyday that he loved me but things just seemed weird. Few weeks ago, we got into a huge fight and stormed out on him in the city. I called him right away but by then he was too angry to answer. I apologized for hours and even till next day. He let me talk to him next day and i thought we made up. A week ago, He told me that i really hurt him and said he wants to stop seeing me. After that he didn’t answer any of my calls or texts. and just yesterday, he emailed me saying that he didnt have the courage to call me because he did not want to hear me cry or give me a reason to contact him again. He also told me that he doesn’t think that things will ever be the same.
what should i do…
i have been trying to live life but im still badly broken.I have been doing NC for couple days.
Is there a hope for me?
Dawn
August 29, 2013 at 1:48 pm
Jenny – Some of the dynamics of your relationship is like mine. I got caught up being a mom and college student again and I KNOW I let myself go! And Even though HE would be the one at fault for why I was upset at something, somehow I WAS always the one apologizing in the end and he hardly ever, IF EVER, apologized or admitted his faults. My ex doesn’t want to take responsibility for his faults and he is blaming the failure of our marriage all on me and tells everyone I am playing the victim card. My situation is a lot worse I fear, but I STILL have hope. As much as I see him and his mistress online and the cute in love comments they make AND my in laws approving it while we are still married, is really hard to see BUT I am doing really good at staying calm and NOT saying a WORD to him or anyone about it. I am no pro at this so I am only sharing what I have learned..Your natural human tendency is “fight or flight” but that will only make things go the EXACT OPPOSITE of your intentions. I am not saying he is cheating like mine is. I am just saying before you do all those things you are NOT supposed to do (Like I did already), learn what not to do and remember to stay calm..use calming techniques. If you’re religious at all, just know that Satan creates all fear and it is HIM working on you and you can command him thru the name of Jesus Christ to leave from being around you. Stick to the no contact and be calm and work on getting yourself back in shape or whatever it is you feel you need for you. I think your chances are pretty high of reconciliation and I wish that could be for me. I was told by a professional that on a scale of 1-10, my chances of saving this was a 2 or 3 and I am still not giving up hope so I know you can do this! Good luck to you!
admin
August 29, 2013 at 4:16 am
I think so!
What are you doing during NC to evolve and improve?
Also, you might want to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO if you want like step by step instructions on what to do.
Jenny
August 29, 2013 at 1:06 pm
Really?
i know it doesn’t guarantee anything but your thinking so lets me hold on to the hope..
thank you for responding to me!
i have registered for few classes that i always wanted to take. and also have started studying for entrance exam to grad school.
i started to exercise and am losing weight
what else can i do?
so many are telling me that i don’t have a chance
but i really want this to work
thank you for this website!
admin
August 29, 2013 at 5:58 pm
New haircut, new clothes, being more social, try going on a date with someone new.
Oh, and you might want to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO
Jemisha Cotton
August 28, 2013 at 4:12 am
Hi,
My situation is more deep but i can apply this advice. My ex goes out of town for a while and we were still together. He finds a new girlfriend but she was pregnant with his baby they didnt get together until she found out she was pregnant. She is younger than i am and im very confused at this point. I still keep in contact with his family. Only because they want me to ,now she suppose to be pregnant again. Which i dont think its true because the first baby she had a miscarriage. We all had words doing this whole situation and i just need more advice.
admin
August 29, 2013 at 3:29 am
Oh man, that is some drama.
What’s your question. What do you need help with?
kym
August 27, 2013 at 7:20 pm
My ex and I have been communicating by email. Recently I shared something I saw that I knew he would be interested in while out on a weekend. He responded a day after and told me he’s still thinking of looking for art for his place, something we had talked about when we were together. I sent a response but haven’t heard back. It’s been 2 days. Am I being anxious over not hearing from him?
admin
August 28, 2013 at 4:08 am
You sound anxious. Think of it like this. So what if he doesn’t email you back. Just try to get that attitude.
Megan
August 27, 2013 at 6:14 pm
My ex and I broke up last week, we spoke yesterday to sort of talk about why this happened. We work in the same building, different offices. We agreed to remain friends. He’ll be there for me if I need him and vice versa. I am trying to figure out how to handle this whole situation! I do miss him, but I understand he needs to work on things himself. Communication issues he told me he has and which are obvious. He is in the midst of a terrible job and wants to switch, I think stress got to him. Any advice? I am here for me if he ever needs me. I am not bitter about the situation and I am pleased about being friends.
admin
August 28, 2013 at 4:00 am
For now, I would go into NC. Just to let things settle down a bit.
Megan
August 28, 2013 at 11:17 am
I have not contacted him. We do have a few mutual friends. I plan on just taking time to myself and praying for the both of us! I know he needs time, which is what I plan to give him. Thank you for responding to me 🙂
admin
August 29, 2013 at 3:39 am
Do you plan on doing anything else during NC?
Megan
September 3, 2013 at 6:02 pm
An update. I am on day 8 of no contact. I know he went out of town this past weekend with a friend of his. I happen to think I am doing pretty good!! We haven’t talked and haven’t seen each other despite working in the same building.
admin
September 4, 2013 at 2:24 am
Hey, I think you are doing GREAT!
Megan
August 29, 2013 at 5:24 pm
Just work, workout, and continue to do things like I always have been. Try to keep my mind off things. Spend time with friends and family.
admin
August 29, 2013 at 6:05 pm
That sounds like a pretty decent NC plan to me.
Megan
August 27, 2013 at 9:39 pm
Sorry my post was so short earlier, typing it on lunch break. I guess the details would be we met while working together, dated for 2 years then broke up. He said he didn’t feel the same as he did in the beginning and he was unhappy. He said he doesn’t have answers as to why he feels this way, but he said he needs to focus on him and I respect that. His job is very demanding and he has a lot on his place. He doesn;t like where he lives (he is from the south and has moved up north for work). I never mentioned anything about staying in touch, actually I was prepared to never speak to him again but when we spoke yesterday, he initiated keeping in contact. Ex: “I’ll watch your dog if you go out of town” or “let me know if you ever need me to help you with anything”. I felt good after our conversation. He is not one to display his emotions, but he did look me in the eye and tell me he cares for me a lot. He said he doesn’t want to date anyone else, he just wants to take time to himself. I have not contacted him since this talk. Like I said, we walked away on a friendly basis. I guess just looking for further instruction. Thanks for any response!
admin
August 28, 2013 at 4:15 am
Friendly breakups are the best kind. I am used to mean spirited ones. So where are you at now? (forgive me I forgot your situation I deal with around 150 women every day.)
To me, it sounds like you have a workable case.
Oh, and you might want to check out my E-Book if you are looking for step by step instructions. Just food for thought.
Megan
August 27, 2013 at 6:16 pm
This is a 2 year relationship by the way.
Ash
August 25, 2013 at 8:10 am
So he still cares?he is Sure,that i will come back and that we will Talk again.He still has this Video for me,and in the Description : For Miss Wonderful.is that Good?but why does he ignore me?Yesterday he talked to a Girl on Skype for Hors and normally he Doesnt Talk to them
Ash
August 27, 2013 at 10:39 am
And he started posting pics of him on instagram but awhile ago he said to me that he won’t anymore.Why did he started all this stuff now again?
admin
August 28, 2013 at 3:30 am
Well, he can post pictures if he wants right?
BlueGlass
August 25, 2013 at 12:57 am
The ex and I were together for a very long time, majority of which were long distance. We are five years apart and, after an initial meeting in real life, we stuck with it. I graduated high school, and immediately moved to his State, somewhere close enough to see him a couple times a month. I went to college and worked hard and everything. We’ve never really thought and we’ve been so happy. Last year I transferred to a new school hours, hours away from him—still, we talked about this, and agreed on it, and that it was no challenge compared to when I was a whole 20 hours drive away. We talked every day, and spent a couple days of Spring break together. No signs of things wearing down. One night, shortly after, he went to ER. He had a life or death surgery, and made it. I couldn’t fly to see him on such short notice due to academic priorities. Three months later he’d reveal to me he hasn’t been happy (depressed), that he was let down I didn’t see him, and so he’s been pushing me away to the point of not loving me as much. He said he needed space, alone time, maybe forever, or something. He also mentioned not being good enough for me. So he broke up with me.
Devastated, I called him twice and IMed him within a three day period. He wasn’t very responsive, so I decided to ween off of him, though I haven’t entirely cut ties yet. We agreed to be friends, after all. Days pass and he steadily starts contacting me more. Send me a link or two. Recommend a show. Even gossip about his friend’s relationship that we’d always make fun of. Our conversations were always brief, but it made me happy. Today, though, he apparently asked my best friend if I was expecting us to get back together. He later says he’s not planning on getting back together, and was really hoping I wasn’t hoping for it, either.
I’m broken all over again. I think I’m telling you this because I’m not sure what to make of it, or how closely it aligns to your guide…I’ll try the NC rule if it still makes sense to use it in this situation…but I honestly feel like we broke up for all the wrong reasons. Thanks.
admin
August 27, 2013 at 3:02 am
Definitely try out the NC Rule. If you think that you broke up for the wrong reasons then that might actually be a pretty good thing (couples like this have higher chances to get back together.) Of course, nothing is guaranteed b/c ultimately it is up to your ex. But I think you have a workable case.
Oh, I do want to point you towards Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. Yes, you will have to pay for it (which is a bummer I know.) However, I am not a greedy guy. If it is out of your price range just email me via the contact form and we can discuss a price that is fair for you!
BlueGlass
August 25, 2013 at 12:58 am
Ahh, idk if it helps. But we were together for 5-6 years, 2-3 of which were spent being in physical reach of him, of sorts.
anais
August 24, 2013 at 4:21 pm
Hi and thnx for you support. Sorry also for my not good english. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year. I did not like him that much in the begining but after some months i think i was involved too. He said he was in love and did a lot of things to show me that but in his opinion i was indifferenrt and i was not showing love to him, he was alwaya sad because i was very indiprndent from him and was not showinh any attention to thi relationship. Suddenly ibe day we had a big quarrel because i went abroud with some of my girlfriends and he thinks i was there with someone else and i cheated on him but this is not true. After the quarrel i was very offended and asked him ti leave me alone because i was tired af his jealousy and quarrels. Since that day we did not contact anymore, i called him after two weeks of no contact but did not answer my answer, i thought we could sit and speak about the relationship.now its almos one month since our fight but he has dissapeared and i miss him but dont know what to do
admin
August 25, 2013 at 11:43 pm
Stay in NC for a FULL month.
Evelyn
August 24, 2013 at 2:04 pm
Hi! I have just come out of a relationship we ended mutually due to constant arguements, however he was the one who wanted out more than i did. We were in a relationship for around one year and in two days, it will be one month of no contact. I am flying to another country in one-two weeks and permanently residing there. Would it be appropriate to let him know I am leaving and possibly initiate a meet up? Or would it be better to leave without contacting him?
Thanks
admin
August 25, 2013 at 11:38 pm
Well, I don’t think getting him back is going to happen overnight. How far apart will you two be together?
What do you think is best? Personally, I say fly out there without telling him b/c it is unlikely you will get him back overnight.
Evelyn
August 28, 2013 at 3:02 am
When I found out I was leaving (to another continent), my intention afterwards was no longer to try get him back, but stay on friendly terms and still keep in touch regularly as friends. I’m just not quite sure if I should say something or not, as it would be the last chance to talk/see him for a long time. Or if I should fly without contact, but that might leave a bad impression, and he might think I never want to be in contact.
I guess you are right though, and it’s not good to dwell on the past, especially since this can give me a huge opportunity to move on.
Thanks for your advice!!
angelina
August 23, 2013 at 6:20 pm
I was with my bf for over a year. We had many ups and downs over the past year. We were very happy together and we always said we love each other and hope to be together forever. I broke up with him because he wasn’t responding to my calls or text one day which I knew he has said he was busy because he was cleaning his house for a party the next day. He asked me if I was going to the party for his niece the next day and out of rage I said no so he said he would call me back the next day. On sunday i went to visit him and he was purpose to pick me up at the train station and I knew he wasn’t because I told him I wasn’t going to the party so I walked to his house which is was not that far anyway and didn’t ring the doorbell because I didn’t know how he was going to respond because his whole family was there and I stood outside and decided to text him telling him I was outside, he didn’t respond so I went back to the train station telling me I was waiting and calling him no answer. So i was mad and wrote don’t ever talk to me again your dead to me. I deleted you off facebook and have a nice life. I went home after three hours of waiting for him and I went on his facebook because I can still see his profile without being his friend and he put he was loving the single life. After that day I called him,text him and email him a love letter.NO response so over three weeks later I call him and it went to voice mail I told him that I saw a commerical for the soda stream and thought he might want to know that they have a kool aid flavor. so today i’m sitting wondering if I really did f*cked up and now the love of my life is not talking to me and it is all my fault =(
admin
August 25, 2013 at 6:45 pm
Hi there,
So, what do you plan on doing about it? Do you plan on starting a NC rule?
Shan
August 23, 2013 at 6:25 am
I met this guy we been seeing each other for about a year. Everything was going fine we would make time for each other. He told me that he love me but can’t be in a relationship right now. I am 25 he is 28. Today he admited that he like this girl in fact he is crazy in love with her she is 19. I really loved this guy. We speak sometimes but I really don’t know what happened. Need help to at least win him back or make him suffer.
admin
August 23, 2013 at 7:25 pm
You don’t want to make him suffer. You just want to go into NC.
trisha
August 22, 2013 at 10:34 pm
Hi Chris
I have your entire site… a few times actually… and I understand and in theory agree with all you say but I would like some personal assistance if you dont mind.
my ex and I broke up in june… we have had 60days no contact…he deleted me from facebook. The other day he happened to comment on my new job on my professional profile…. look definately no points for that as its the most clinical thing ive heard of. A mutual friend then told me he recently got a message from my ex to say he missed me but was too scared to contact me.so now I need your advice do I break the ice of no contact or do I wait for him to?
admin
August 23, 2013 at 7:10 pm
I say wait it out for a little while longer! I think eventually he will crack and contact you. However, if in a week or two he hasn’t contacted you then you can break the ice. As it is though you can already break the ice. You have already waited long enough.
Hahaha so really it is completely up to you.
tanya
August 22, 2013 at 5:08 pm
So I broke up with my bf two months ago due to a message that found on his fb. It was a 2 1/2 year relationship. He didn’t deny it but felt horrible that I found out. He tried to make me stay. I however broke up with him. Two days later I called him to see if we can work things out. Well he didn’t want too. A week later I called him back to see how he was. he clearly told me its over. We didn’t contact each other for a month until he called me one night and asked if I wanted to meet. I was happy to hear from him so I agreed. We talked in xt day and it was going grea.we texted e week and I was kind of playing hard to get. I mentioned that someone was interested in me and that got him upset. From there the texts got shorter and I got annoyed that he was responding to me like not interested. Then out of nowhere he just decided to tell me that its not good and that its mot going to work. I was shocked and sent him an insulting text to end it for go After about 20 days, I decided to call to apologize and it ended up me telling hi if he wants to meet up. I did. Well now he texts me. He.told it was a nice surprise and that we can save the hug for another time. He I don’t know what to do now because it seems like he doesn’t want anything serious but he still responds to my texts fairly quick. Should I just ignore him or do I still have a shot?
admin
August 23, 2013 at 6:55 pm
If you decide to do NC then yes, you have to ignore his texts.
Enna
August 22, 2013 at 5:04 pm
Hey so my boyfriend and I were together for over three years. In a way we helped each other grow. I had just turned seventeen and he was going to be nineteen. Now He is going to be 23 and I’ll be 21. I felt like we weren’t moving forward and I was standing still. I have a lot of unsure things in my life and I wanted to make this the sure thing. That is a lot of pressure on a guy but I gave him space when needed. We had issues through out our relationship, I am on a different page in my life than he is. He’s still into school, not sure where he is going to end up and what he wants to do and that is completely fine but I’ve known since the first month of dating him that I would want to marry him (crazy I know) I guess when you know, you just know…but he doesn’t. He still has roommates and I don’t, I have my career set and it keeps growing. I dropped out of high school and got my GED and started right away so I finished college pretty much when all my friends were starting. I am just so far ahead of everyone my age and I don’t want to “party” or “fool” around. He isn’t a big party er but still, I have it all together. He doesn’t know if he wants to be with me forever or not. He doesn’t want to hurt me and tell me something he is not completely positive on and I appreciate that. He’s not sure if he wants kids or to get married. Other than that, we were great together. We told each other everything, he was my best friend (still is) and will be I know that. We even did gross things in front of each other because we were so comfortable around one another. I told him we have grown together and I love him but I think he needs to grow a little for himself, something outside of our relationship, figure out his issues etc and he agreed. We aren’t sleeping with anyone and we broke up almost three weeks ago. We had talked up until about a week ago because I said to make this feel more like a breakup maybe we should actually take a break from one another. My hopes are maybe in the future to get back together, but if not that is fine too, I just want him to be happy. I’m not sure if i’m over this breakup yet or just in denial lol is anyone really over a breakup? Since we’ve stopped talking he has like a picture and a status of mine on my facebook. I have not done the same to him. He thinks we aren’t going to talk for about two weeks but I am going to try your 30 day no contact rule. My question is, he is going out of town tomorrow night and I am staying at his house. His sister is 17 and is going to be there alone so i’m staying with her and taking her to the movies etc. I will be sleeping in his bed haha I know thats kind of weird. BUT he would be fine with it. Not sure if he knows. I’m trying to not talk about him to any of his family or ask about him. What should I do to drive him crazy and make him miss me more? Spray my perfume on his pillow, leave behind a CLEAN pair of cute undies on his floor? I hope that doesn’t sound crazy but I like to think I have been very sweet and understanding through this whole thing. I don’t stalk him or write crazy facebook statues or anything like that. Also, what if he has his sister text me and ask me after the two weeks that why am I not responding? Should I ignore it or just say I need space? Thank you so much for your time, I am really looking forward to hearing from you.
admin
August 23, 2013 at 6:52 pm
I wouldn’t leave panties on the floor, thats too obvious. The perfume thing isn’t a bad idea though haha.
Enna
August 22, 2013 at 6:29 pm
I just want him to realize what he is missing. I am so good to him and nice non crazy girls are hard to come by nowadays haha I really do appreciate what you do for us girls on your website:) I wasn’t trying to push him away. We have had the conversation of breaking up for a while now and we never did it but I knew this is what he needed so we finally went through with it. Was very hard at first but now i’m getting used to it. I felt a lot better after the third day, no moping around or anything. I made myself get up and go to the gym and go to work/do things etc. What are your thoughts on all of this? He wants to move somewhere far away and I want to move somewhere else. I would go with him though if he wanted. I would do anything for him. I hope that doesn’t seem like I’m one of the girls who would just follow a boy, cause I don’t really think that’s me. To be honest though, I feel like I have lost a part of myself since our breakup.
admin
August 23, 2013 at 7:00 pm
I would say try NC and keep doing that stuff like going to the gym and dressing up and feeling nice when you go out.
jasmine
August 22, 2013 at 5:23 am
my ex and i broke up 8 months ago, his choice. we had a perfect relationship for about a year and a half, with one small break where we still saw each other the entire time. it always happens when his kids mom becomes single. we broke up 8 mos ago but have still been dating/seeing each other/hanging with his friends/family until three weeks ago. he also has been friendly with his kids mom. two weeks ago i get a bombshell from him that theyre going to try to work it out for the kid and im so upset. he tells me he still loves me and cares about me and that this is hard for him too because he thinks about me a lot etc.. and i know this is becasue of the kid. what do i do? we decided today to end contact for awhile, to do our own thing and see what happens.. he said he had an ex who he had to let go of for the same reason. but i dont want to lose him to this evil vindictive awful woman who doesnt appreciate who he is. is there a chance??? he even told his mom he still loves me but it wouldnt be fair to me him or her if he continued talking to me the way he was. which was very overtly sexual and relationshippy and not appropriate. they had a very volatile relationship and were never really happy together. he and i had a wonderful one where we were happy and never really fought or had bad times at all.
admin
August 23, 2013 at 6:19 pm
So, where are you going from here? Are you going to try out NC?
Artemis
August 21, 2013 at 10:51 pm
So I am doing a shortened NC/LC period (I have thought this through and read the entire internet)
So anyway, one of my problems is that in the past I have always convinced my then boyfriend to not break up with me if he brought it up… usually in a long emotional crying conversation.
Anyway. He indicated earlier that he would meet me (we had planned to at the break up) but he was VERY clear that he did not want me to do my usual convincing thing. (I haven’t done ANYTHING pathetic since the day he did it.)
Anyway, meeting may or may not happen. I’d prefer it doesn’t.
What do I do to get him around the idea that I’m just doing this to convince him? I want to start by sending the kind of text messages you describe. I sent a first one today – a link to a funny picture of a cat that looks like his cat (he liked that kind of thing) and said this reminded me of his cats guilty face and i hope he’s well. End.
He didn’t reply, I didn’t expect him to. I just wanted to contact him with no pressure and with nothing about the breakup, maybe that will let him think I’m not pushing that right now.
How do I get him to start being open to listening to me and not be afraid I’m going to cry/convince him?
admin
August 22, 2013 at 3:53 am
Honestly, I think enough time has to pass for him to get that way.
livvy
August 21, 2013 at 7:44 pm
Hi chris- your website is so helpful.
My ex and i broke up yesterday but it was quite amicable- i realised he needs some space and that the break up wasn’t to hurt me, and explained to him im not angry. I explained that I’m busy for a bit anyway and that we should meet up in a month and he agreed. Do i use the NC rule? Any ideas for what we could do together when we meet up?
admin
August 22, 2013 at 3:47 am
Absolutely you should go NC. What do you plan on doing during it to improve though?
livvy
August 22, 2013 at 3:24 pm
well i have self confidence issues so i’m focusing on my healthy eating and exercise more. I’ve figured out a few problems that I know solutions to as well. I’m hoping that they can be worked on if he agrees to get back together ( as they’re to do with friends and spending time together therefore need him involved in order to change them). Thank you so much for this website, it is so brilliant to actually see a little bit into a guys world! Any other tips for improvement during the NC?
admin
August 23, 2013 at 6:46 pm
Socialize more, work on becoming more confident, things like that.
I talk a lot about what to do during/after NC in Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO, my ebook. Now, I realize that you do have to pay to get it. However, if the price is that big of an issue just email me and we can do something about it to make it more affordable for you. If you aren’t interested then no hard feelings. I will still be here.
sophie
August 25, 2013 at 7:34 am
Oh god! My mate and i went out to town last night, I (drunkenly) rang him a couple of times with no pick-up by the seems of it- i reckon i may have left voicemails. I sent a fairly innocent enough text saying ‘come dance with me’ to him. I got no reply at all. Does this mean i gotta start my NC again? 🙁 Has this ruined my chances?
admin
August 27, 2013 at 3:06 am
yup, start NC over. That wasn’t your best move probably.
livvy
August 23, 2013 at 9:02 pm
I will consider a purchase! One question i have is i know youre not supposed to contact them during the NC, but what if they contact u during it and realise they made a mistake? My ex is quite a young lad and him and his mates go out and drink at the weekends to the point where I could see him trying to get in touch… Am i to just give in immediately or am i supposed to wait the 30 days?
admin
August 25, 2013 at 6:49 pm
I think if you sense that he wants to say “come back to me” or “I made a mistake” you should break NC but that rarely happens.