The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Louise

August 12, 2013 at 1:33 pm

Chris, my boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago after a small disagreement. I am 22 and he is 21. We were both each others crushes for 4 years until we spoke up and starting dating. We then had a relationship for a year and he introduced me to his extended family and spoke about the future together throughout that year. I thought he would get over breaking up but it doesn’t seem so. The day after the split I still went to a Ball with him, where he went home with someone else. I found out and confronted him and he cried and said he was sorry. He keeps saying we might get back together in the future but he needs time to himself. Regardless of his actions with someone other girl I still want to get back together because we were a great couple and had similar interests and friends. I am scared that if I NC for too long he will get with more girls and become comfortable as a single man. 🙁

admin

August 13, 2013 at 2:38 am

I understand completely. However, can you think of a good alternative to the NC rule? Most likely any new relationship he would get in to would be a rebound.
Louise

August 13, 2013 at 6:32 am

So you suggest the NC rule still, I have done that now for two days but I can’t help but think that 30 days is too long haha
admin

August 14, 2013 at 1:43 am

I do still suggest that. And two days is nothing haha.
Louise

August 20, 2013 at 9:40 am

So I followed the NC rule for 7 days until I ran into him and asked if he wanted to hang out. He said yes he would love to and that I can talk to him at any time. So the next day I went around to his to hang out. We were sitting there for about an hour all awkwardly until he asked me if I was okay, I replied truthfully saying not really but I am moving on and asked him. His response startled me as he said he wasn’t okay either and he missed me. I said it was strange that we were so close yet couldn’t hug one another. He asked if he could hug me so I said yes and one thing lead to another, we confessed our love to one another and “did the deed.” He kept saying he loved me and missed me so much so I said why can’t we get back together and he kept saying we can’t we can’t, I need this time to be single. I then asked if he was doing this to improve his own life and he said yes. I cried when I left his house and he kept saying everything will be okay trust me, I will see you again and talk to you again. I left feeling confused so went around to his house the next day with lunch and to ask him if we were on more of a break. He said no we are broken up but kept hugging me. I realise he is feeling shit because he has lost his job, has no money, and is about to go overseas with nothing. I want to give him space to work this all out and better himself but do I wait for him or do I move on? I am so confused!!
admin

August 21, 2013 at 4:18 am

Problem here is that you broke the NC rule. Not only that but you were needy and desperate in person to him. Just go back into NC and finish out the 30 days that is your smartest bet.

Lara

August 12, 2013 at 11:05 am

Hey Chris :c It is me again.And i’m really really depressed.I don’t get what he wants.He talked to me and then i said that i’m busy i tried to avoid him but…It didn’t work and he always came with ”friends” and i got angry cause it hurted, so i said to him i don’t want to be friends but we can still talk(Was not going to do it because 30 days NC)But he ignored me.Already 2 days.I’m ignoring him back but somehow i’m still on his friends list.He only has 15 friends on it.It is on Youtube…however i’m still on it.Why?He was online he could change it…and normally he changes it.Like a week ago a old friend came and he put her on the list just on the same day.So why didn’t he remove me?He was online,i saw it.And he talked to a mutual friend saying he planned it.?!!!!!He planned the break up???And some days ago, he said to her ”Lara is being happy and all proud again.That’s all i wanted.Plan completed!”Is this a stupid joke??Because he says it all the time and how i know him he really does plan stuff but why?I mean he planned because???I don’t know and then she told him that ”Lara is indeed happy and all proud again.But she was much more happy with you.”And he asked some stuff about me.But why is he talking to her about me??I do not get it.He could block her or ignore her but he didn’t, he still talkes to her about us!!Why?!!!He says ”Why should i try to fix things if we both donn’t want it?^”And she said that i wouldn’t mind,that I’m also happy without him and with him.And he just said ”Intressting”And then they didn’t talk and we did not talk too.i know 30 days NC but i don’t understand him at all.Why is he doing all this stuff???Okay once he said ”I miss you a lot dear” And we skyped.He begged me to show him my face.He asked me if i can say his name once.And he wanted to see my dress and teddy(teddy’s name is also Alex i said i will change it but he begged me not to?!)…And he compliements me,says i’m wonderful and so on.That he loves it when i blush.Well that was before i started my first NC….I don’t get it.And when i asked him if he said ”I miss you”because he had compassion with me,he got angry??!!He said”Looks like skype wasn’t enough to show it.”Dafuq???Today is the first day of my second Nc but i don’t get it.It is confusing me as hell.What does he want??And why is he ignoring me now???I am doing lots of new stuff, hobbies but it confused me so much that i still think about it sometimes ;-;

admin

August 13, 2013 at 2:35 am

Hmm…

Well for now I guess focus on the second NC period!

Miranda

August 12, 2013 at 9:26 am

About 3 weeks ago my boyfriend said he needed space from our relationship. We have been together for almost 3 years. He’s been goin through some personal issues and throughout the last month, little and more frequent arguements occurred. I’ve seen him 4 times since he’s requested space. The last time I saw him he said he really needed time to himself. He feels as if a black clouds over him and he wants to handle his personal issues by himself. He loves my son and I and appreciates and loves my family. He has talked to me within the 3 weeks because he understands my pain. How much longer should I give him space for and does he love me enough to make this work eventually? He said prior to use taking a break that I am the best thing that’s happend to him, best relationship he’s had, he doesn’t want to hurt me or lead me on, and I am the future mother of his kids and wife. Any suggestions? My son and him are close too.

admin

August 13, 2013 at 2:30 am

Hmm… wait another two weeks of space and improve yourself during that timeframe before you try anything. Go full NC for two weeks I guess is what I am saying.
Miranda

August 13, 2013 at 3:14 am

If he doesn’t contact me, should I do anything? My sons birthday was this past weekend and he attended along with other family birthdays. We slept together recently too. It was Intense and very passionate. I feel almost as if his space was needed due to insecurities. Will this win his love back by waiting 2 more weeks?
admin

August 14, 2013 at 1:33 am

If he doesn’t contact you in two weeks I would reach out.
Miranda

August 13, 2013 at 3:18 am

I love him soooo much and this space request was sudden to me. He is the one and I pray I am the one for him!
admin

August 14, 2013 at 1:33 am

I understand. Make sure you aren’t just sitting around counting your chickens during this time though. Get out and actually do something!

sarah

August 12, 2013 at 2:27 am

During no contact period i still sometimes stalked him on facebook and whatsapp..is it still count? But i dun think he knows me checking on him..

admin

August 13, 2013 at 2:01 am

Hahaha I think that is normal behavior you are still good. As long as you don’t actively contact him you are in good shape.

Kate

August 11, 2013 at 9:52 pm

Me & my ex broke up months ago & I wanted to get back together but I didn’t text him at all. He has had a girlfriend since me & they broke up too. Now I am trying to jump on my chance to have him back. We texted about a month ago, it was just small talk like if we were friends but I of course want to be more than friends. So does this system work for my situation? Him having a girlfriend since me? P.S. We are in high school.

admin

August 12, 2013 at 2:50 am

It can work, although younger guys sometimes aren’t as emotionally mature as you would like them to be.

The NC rule can be uber effective though!
Kate

August 12, 2013 at 3:35 am

Okay, so if I haven’t texted him in a month can I text him now or should I wait another month because of the NC rule?
admin

August 13, 2013 at 2:09 am

You can text him as long as you haven’t contacted him in a month. I wish my ebook was live b/c the text messages is something I really get into a lot in there and it is a much better resource than this page.

NeeMa

August 11, 2013 at 4:15 pm

Hi,

My ex-fiance broke up with me a little over a month ago. We had only been together for a little less than year, it was a long distance relationship, but we had plans to get married later this year. The church/hall was booked, he actually took care of the wedding plans because the wedding was in his hometown. We had a fight, I went through something major at school, and was looking for support and didn’t receive it from my future husband, and I lashed out. We talked it over after, but 2 days later, he said he admitted to himself that he didn’t love me anymore, and doesn’t ever want to see me again. He said he felt differently since March, basically since he had proposed, and since the breakup, I did see signs of him pulling away. I had flown over there to talk to him, and he broke up with me. He was calm, I wasn’t, and really couldn’t see how I could live without him. We ended up getting his family involved, and everyone tried to help me with him…we all thought it was cold feet. At the end of that wknd, we agreed to try, but cancel the wedding, and talk every other day, long distance of course. But he had changed, and after 2 weeks, I said we should have space, because it hurt me too much to talk to him this way. But after a week, I sent him a text, and he didn’t answer. And then, I sent an email, I was kind of angry that our wedding website was still up and running. He responded, and had it removed, and then I asked to talk, because I just wanted things over, but he refused. Said I could email him if I’d like. He asked me to respect his space and the process of the break, and i got upset at him, but then I told him ok. Also, in the break, his family kept in touch with me, and said that he felt I blamed him when I was upset, and don’t be nice to him, I need to play hard to get, etc…I was just super confused of what was going on, but his actions didn’t show that he cared. I asked him if he could come visit, after all the space, and first he said yes, and then the next day he said no, but he was ready to talk when I was, on phone or skype. I said I was ready to just talk things out, but not make decisions, and after some texting, he told me he was sure about the way he felt, nothing had changed, and it seemed like he just wanted to end the space. I didn’t get any sense that he was sorry, and he really had no good manners towards me anymore…so even though I agreed to skype with him, I didn’t. I stood him up last week, and he sent an email essentially ending it, probably to have a final say, and I deleted that. I unfriended him from facebook too, and I have a feeling he noticed because he unfriended some of my family since.

Despite the way he’s treated me and the way he feels, there’s a part of me that wants him, and wants to know is there still a chance? He hasn’t heard from me since a week and a half ago…but he did send me an email, and said take care, and we was way past the point of salvaging anything we may have had…

one more thing- i might have been his first serious relationship, but before me, he had dated his best friend of 5 years, for 1 month, and ended it. He said he wasn’t feeling it, and he also cut her out of his life, said they couldn’t be friends anymore, so I’m not the first person he did this to.

admin

August 12, 2013 at 2:36 am

Do you think he has real problems with commitment in the long term?

I do say you have a chance but I tell everyone that even if you do everything right he may not come back b/c you or I can’t mind control him hahaha.

Kathy

August 11, 2013 at 12:55 pm

Hi Chris, I’m just wondering, I have been sort of seeing a guy a for the past month and it all started fast and furious but after a couple weeks he seemed to cool a bit. He told me an ex wanted to get back together but he had pretty much written them off. I gave him a few days space and things returned to kind of normal but he held way back. He started only replying to my texts not every time and some times for a day or so. I then decided to mirror his behaviour and only text if he did etc, he still asked me to his house where he liked to talk and then give each other massages! I went there again on Wednesday but this time decided if he didn’t make more of a move I would go ‘nuclear’ on him. Things got heated but he wouldn’t kiss me just lots of hugging, hand roaming and grinding! (He has never kissed me so not unusual, he’s incredibly religious and I don’t think he believes in kissing, touching or sex with someone unless in a relationship, he justifies touching with massage) then he pulled back said it didn’t feel right and I asked if he wanted to stop doing whatever it is we are doing, he said maybe so I said bye. He said he liked me but didn’t know if he liked me like ‘that’. After I left I text him and said it was great getting to know him but that I wanted something more so take care Andrew x. He replied with, fair enough, likewise, u too. X Now I’m confused, how long should it take for him to come back – as in make him beg to be your bf final step go nuclear? Do I need to do the 30 day NC? I think he’s the one but if he says he’s not sure if he likes me like ‘that’ does it mean all hope is lost? He def finds me attractive and likes my company can he still fall for me if he’s unsure? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

admin

August 12, 2013 at 2:30 am

Really, he doesn’t beleive in kissing?

…. that is probably the strangest thing I have ever heard hahaha.

So, I would actually focus more on your texts. Are you ending the conversations first? Are you pushing his emotional hot buttons? Are you leaving him wanting more?
Kathy

August 12, 2013 at 5:24 am

I always send the last text but its not necessarily an ending just more of answering his I guess. Will switch to specifically ending them from now on. Our texts are not that flirty anymore, more conversational so prob not leaving him wanting more! He just came into my shop after no contact for about 5 days and stayed and chatted, I made him a little jealous I could tell by his expression. He noticed my haircut then left and text me once about our conversation then again to say my hair looked nice and he really means it! That’s good bit my reply had no ending!!! Aaahh Should I say its nice to see him or stay away from that yet? He believes in kissing but only if he’s going to start a relationship I think, its unusual thats for sure.
admin

August 13, 2013 at 2:22 am

Haha the kissing thing made me laugh yesterday that is why I asked.

Leave him wanting more. I do a great job of explaining this in my upcoming ebook (I WISH IT WAS LIVE) it just takes so darn long to hammer out. It is kind of like I have a lot of the answers to questions yall are asking in there but I can’t point to it yet and it’s frustrating for me.

I think you should test the flirting on your side and see what kind of responses you get.
Kathy

August 13, 2013 at 6:22 am

Well, I text him a happy confident message, ready to flirt after his reply, I even asked a question so he would answer and of course no reply. I’m going back to no contact, I think its needed to shock him out if his comfort zone of having me at his beck and call. Thanks for the flirt suggestion though. If by chance he texts me in the NC period I will consider a flirt back maybe!
admin

August 14, 2013 at 1:44 am

No problem! Good luck.

tueyt

August 10, 2013 at 7:34 am

what happens if he never contacts me during and after the contact zone?

admin

August 11, 2013 at 3:04 am

You two will eventually talk that much I am confident about.

Mary

August 10, 2013 at 7:33 am

how long is too long to be in the contact zone? what are the maximum days i could go in the contact zone, basically?

admin

August 11, 2013 at 3:00 am

Minimum 30 days

Maximum 90+ days

MILEY

August 10, 2013 at 2:09 am

my ex is in the hospital. we broke up about a month ago but last talked a week ago. he was angry at me at time. can i contact him?

miley

August 10, 2013 at 12:55 pm

I sent him a I hope you are doing better in my prayers textlast night but got no reply. I am very concerned about his condition but dont want to break the NC. suggestions?
admin

August 11, 2013 at 3:14 am

Just keep in NC. He isn’t ready to talk yet and you should respect that.
miley

August 10, 2013 at 6:08 pm

He called me back. We talked for about 30 minutes mostly about the accident and his concerns. I was concerned but calm so was he. Now what?
admin

August 11, 2013 at 3:18 am

I guess you go back into NC
admin

August 10, 2013 at 3:18 am

I think you can, but just to check on him, if you are doing NC of course.

annonymous

August 10, 2013 at 1:25 am

my ex and I broke up at the beginning of the year.. because I felt like he wasn’t putting in enough effort and he felt like i went out too much. anyways we talked for a while we would hang out occasionally as friends and then for a while i was just texting him and calling him for support and he wasn’t there for me so i stopped, then afterwards we would contact each other back and forth saying. i have your clothes, you have something of mine, so on and so fourth. Well I went no contact for a long time. and nothing really happened. well the last time we saw eachother he told me he missed me and that he still liked me but he didn’t want a girlfriend at the time.. and said we could be friends and i could call him whenever. I don’t know I’m just basically really confused on what to do next.

admin

August 10, 2013 at 3:26 am

Whats up!

Have you tried anything like the NC rule before?

tinx

August 9, 2013 at 10:22 pm

Hi
My ex recently dumped me about 3weeks ago we were together for 7months but knew each other for about 10years and we always had a crush on each other. I’m 21 and he is 27. When we broke up he was a real gentleman,we got some takeaways and we talked about the split,he said he’s feelings changed after our only and first fight that wasn’t even that serious.He also said the timing was not right and if we bumped into each other in the future things coukld be different. Its currently been a week of the NC rule and I’m trying to stay strong and positive. Do you believe there is a posibility of getting my ex back we weren’t just bf and gf but best of friends during the relationship?
Thanks({})

admin

August 10, 2013 at 3:19 am

I think there is a very real possibility. However, don’t let it go to your head. This isn’t an exact science here.

Marie

August 9, 2013 at 10:11 pm

My exes birthday is two days before the no contact period ends can I end it then to txt him ? Also he texted me to ask to meetup it’s been about sox weeks since our breakup w minimal contact . I ignored him but is it ok to meet up at this point. Also I acted like a bit of a crazy person when we first broke up

admin

August 10, 2013 at 3:17 am

Nope, I would say not wish him a happy birthday until after the two days are up. You don’t want him thinking that you just texted him b/c it was his birthday. Besides, he won’t be in the right mindset to want you back then.

Lonza

August 9, 2013 at 9:53 pm

What do you do if you’ve been still having regular contact? I mean at first the NC probably should have happened because it did not go well at all but we’ve decided to just forget about that and be friends.. We have plans for vacations together and birthday things planned.. He says he can’t see himself with anyone else but just needs time.. But I have heard that he’s told people we aren’t getting back together and I’ve noticed that he is texting with new girls he didn’t know before.. But still says he has so much fun with me, is more affectionate now that we are broken up, but just wants some time. So I feel that maybe the NC will give him the time he needs to start seeing someone else and forget about me.. Because we do have a lot of fun together now.. I’m still hurt but try not to let on that I am.. But how can I do no contact when we are having so much fun together and have things planned? I feel that he doesn’t want to get back together because of what I’ve heard from friends and stuff and because he is talking to new girls one in particular but it seems like he is still attracted to me and says he doesn’t have interest in anyone else.. What to do in this situation? I’m just so afraid that the NC will make him feel I don’t care and he we go ahead and try with this new girl.

admin

August 10, 2013 at 3:16 am

I understand completely. But hearing from other ppl isn’t the same as hearing from him. Besides, guys mask their emotions a lot and let ppl think one thing.
Lonza

August 10, 2013 at 1:24 pm

So do you think the NC rule would work or hurt in this situation?
admin

August 11, 2013 at 3:15 am

I think a little time is never a bad thing.
Lonza

August 10, 2013 at 1:28 pm

And if so how do I do it when we have planned things together that cost money and reservations and stuff? We are having fun together now I’m afraid that starting NC now will be weird.
admin

August 11, 2013 at 3:17 am

Well, you can’t really do one succesfully without the other. I see your dilemma.

I will put it to you like this. Even though this goes against what I preach here. I would still do the fun stuff together and reservations and then after they are done. I would go nc

Lara

August 9, 2013 at 7:29 pm

But he old a mutual friend when she asked that he has mved on and me too.So he thinks i dd move on.You think he will miss me when i start my NC again?

admin

August 10, 2013 at 3:13 am

I think he misses you now he just isn’t showing it.

JenaLee

August 9, 2013 at 8:20 am

All I have to say is ur AWESOME CHRIS!!! Thank u sooo much u have built massive amounts of hope in me… Again thank u 🙂

admin

August 10, 2013 at 2:42 am

No you are awesome!

Kim

August 9, 2013 at 7:04 am

I dated my bf for almost 5 years & broke up.
I’m almost done with my nc period but
I know he will reply to my texts very friendly.
Is it better to extend nc if I know he still probably
Wants to stay as friends?
Also, how long does rebound usually last?
He started dating someone right after breakup
And he knew this girl since middle school.
He said he never thought he’d like her (she always
Liked him all this time & gave up when she saw that
He was in serious relationship with me)
I know that her look isn’t his type but she’s super sweet.
Thank you for ur help!

admin

August 10, 2013 at 2:44 am

If you feel you need to extend your NC rule then trust your gut.

It’s kind of a tough question with the rebounds because it is literally all over the place.I did do a post on this website about rebounds though.

Sanaya

August 9, 2013 at 5:23 am

Hey Chris, this is about an ex boyfriend that’s still in love with me. And. And I’m still in love with him. But he doesn’t wanna accept the fact that he still loves me. But it shows. In his words. On his face. In his eyes. And vibes that come from him. And this isn’t just me who feels this way. Everybody says so. That he’s still in love.

And. Now everyone knows about us. And they think we make a perfect couple. So everyone’s talking about us to him and to me. And for me it’s making things hard. Coz since he made it pretty clear that he’s done with me. I’m trying to be just friends. :/

But the thing is. When we were together. I broke up. I waited. He waited. He didn’t know I was waiting. I didn’t know he was waiting. He cried. Talked in a depressing manner. And. And I waited. Then I got with someone else to get over him. (Biggest mistake). And. And it just made things worse. Now he thinks I’m unfaithful. And he’s given up faith in love.
It’s been 9 months since we broke up. And he hasn’t been with any other girl. He was so hurt that he till date he can’t even talk to me properly and normally like he talks to everyone else.

I’ve apologised for all my mistakes. He said it’s ok. But I think he still is hurt. He has built his safe place and. And he doesn’t wanna get out of it.
He doesn’t talk to me freely and stuff. Aah, what do I do? I really want him back. He’s my guy. My perfect guy. Since 2 years. Its been just me for him. And its been just him for me. People say we’re meant to be. And I believe them. Coz what we had was special and magical. Even though we were together for just 1 month. It felt like more than that. I know we can last. Our relationship is potential. He’s just afraid that I’d hurt him. He lacks confidence. And. And he’s confused. He doesn’t wanna let go off me. But he doesn’t accept me either.

Maybe he needs me to prove him. To show him. That I love just him. Only him.
And that I’m not giving up on us or stuff like that.

But the guilt of leaving him is hurting me. And so is knowing the fact that we both love each other but we can’t be together. You’re my last hope. Help? Please. :'(

Him and I are complicated shitt. We’re complicated love shit.
He still stands up for me in his group of friends and all. He fights for me.

Help dear admin.

admin

August 10, 2013 at 2:39 am

Yea, it definitely sounds like there is something there. Do you plan on trying out the suggestions on this page?

Chasity moffett

August 9, 2013 at 4:45 am

My ex of 5 years broke up with me because he dosnt know what he wants and I told him to don’t call or or message me if he dosnt want commitment. Did I mess it up because I told him that? How will the NC work after that?

admin

August 10, 2013 at 2:37 am

Well, you shouldn’t have said that but the NC will still work fine!
Chasity moffett

August 9, 2013 at 5:06 am

Also if he doesn’t contact me after I said that do I contact him after 30 days?
admin

August 10, 2013 at 2:37 am

I would suggest that you already begin the NC rule.
Chasity moffett

August 9, 2013 at 12:49 pm

Also did I mess up the nc rule if I told him I wasn’t going to answer any call or messages?
admin

August 10, 2013 at 2:59 am

A little bit but it can still work for you! I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

rosie

August 8, 2013 at 4:17 pm

do u think it is appropriate for me to wish him birthday wishes during no contact period?
P/s: its been a week since my last communication with him..

admin

August 9, 2013 at 4:36 am

I generally tell women to not wish their exes happy birthday during NC.

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8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”