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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
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The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
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Post categories
annie
August 1, 2013 at 5:28 pm
me and my boyfriend broke up a month ago after i said something disrespectful and the fight escalated to another level. i went nc for two days and then wrote him a letter apologizing and left flowers. of course it was unsucessful. since then i have remained no contact fully in extreme that i have even deleted my twitter. i had a weak moment yesterday on the 30th day of no contact and check his twitter he posted a statement “never speak to an ex after a breakup. it rekindles emotions that arent their, its all in the moment sh*t.avoid those encounters.lol” but then that same night i noticed he began tweeting very flirtingly with a long distance female who he dated briefly before we did. does this mean hes trying to rekinle his relationship with her, im so confused on how to approach him and how much more time i should give him before contacting him specially with all this new information i saw,
admin
August 2, 2013 at 2:17 am
Nope, don’t change a thing. Your ex is thinking about you, thats not a bad thing.
Melina Gonzalez
August 4, 2013 at 3:01 am
But my biggest concern is when I was 19 he was secretly dating her and never mentioned it so I ended our communication he continued pursuing her they said I love you to each other until in his night talk he mentioned his ex wife’s name …coincidentally I messaged him soon after she had left him and we began dating which lasted 1 year 4 months , so him making effort to speak to her and have her attention yet not making a single effort for me feels all so disorienting
Angelina
August 1, 2013 at 2:11 pm
Hey , can I please get your email. I really need your advice but I prefer email communication š
admin
August 1, 2013 at 7:07 pm
Visit the contact page on the site and you will get my email.
biyanca
August 1, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Hello! Firstly he broke up with me and his birthday is in a few days i want him back should i wish him a hbd ?
Then i asked one of my friends to pick up my stuff from his house basically clothes he gave some to her but not all like my “underwear” and a few other clothes why did he do that?
He hasn’t tried to contact me in any way we have been apart for like almost 3 weeks.
Then i don’t feel hopeless and sick and depressed i just feel like i lost my soulmate cause we really clicked and everyttime he pops up in conversations my eyes get watery !!!
admin
August 2, 2013 at 2:05 am
Don’t wish him happy birthday if you are in NC.
Why would he keep your underwear? I don’t think you want to know hahaha.
Robin
August 1, 2013 at 10:21 am
I broke up with my boyfriend because I was having doubts (keep in mind I hadn’t seen him in a month and my work days wee filled with people talking about terrible relationships). Two days after I broke it off he called saying he would do anything fix it. I told him I wanted to wait until I moved home (2 days later) before we made any fast decisions. He took it as rejection and two days later when I came home and tried too work it out with him, he said his feelings were gone completely. After a week of begging and explaining and trying to fix the issue and his family telling him we should be together, I have given up. He told me to give up because we would never date again. Starting the NC period, but wondering if I am just crazy and wading my time for someone who is gone. š
admin
August 2, 2013 at 2:03 am
Robin,
Hi, I think you should give the NC rule a try. Your ex was hurt and took that as rejection but I highly doubt he lost all his feelings.
Robin
August 2, 2013 at 1:53 am
Most of the people in here were broken up with:/ Im the one that did it and now he says his feelings are completely gone! How is that possible in days? I’ve poured out my heart and he just doesn’t feel anything now. What do I do!?
admin
August 2, 2013 at 2:32 am
The same rules apply to you that apply to those other people here haha.
shanna
August 1, 2013 at 8:11 am
My bf and I were together for 6 months and lived together the entire time. Our relationship was happy for the most part. But one day I found out that he lied about no talking to his ex. I confronted him at a party and we had a big fight in front of his friends. He said I embarrassed him and He broke up with me and moved out a week later. I tried begging, crying, texting, face booking, talking to his friends and family and calling with no good results. Its been three weeks since we broke up. At first he would tell me I just need some space, you hurt me, never say never, blah, blah, blah. Now he just ignores my texts and calls completely. Even when I see him he either acts too busy to talk or acts like he doesn’t even know me. This will be my 3rd day of NC. I’m so discouraged though because he seems so stubborn like he is totally over me already.
admin
August 1, 2013 at 7:03 pm
Hes probably not over you yet. That stubborness is just his way with dealing with the situation.
Katie
August 1, 2013 at 3:32 am
I’m on Day 18 of my NC and it’s not going well. I have learned through mutual friends that my ex is has been going on dates with tons of women from dating sites and is now talking to an ex-gf that he previously dated a long time ago for two months (he broke up with her because she is crazy, stalked him, threatened to kill herself) and now she is flying to the state we live this weekend. I’m so worried. She is the complete opposite of me (takes topless photos online, smokes, drinks, works as a bartender). We have only been broken up a month and he seems to be acting like he is so much happier and has completely forgotten me and the four years we were together.
I did the initial begging and crying but we met a few days post breakup and I calmly agreed with him and said I respected his decision. He has not once tried initiating contact with me throughout NC. I’m wondering if after the NC he will even remember who I am? I’m trying to be positive but his behavior is so strange and erratic. I feel like I don’t know the person he has become. I want my chance but is it even realistic?
admin
August 1, 2013 at 5:42 am
Has it ever ocurred to you that him going on all these dates is just his natural defense. It’s his way of trying to STOP thinking about you so much. It’s actually a typical guy thing to do.
Katie
August 2, 2013 at 5:56 pm
That’s true! The part I don’t get is that He told his sister he is really hitting it off with a girl he met. I guess guys can move on much more quickly.
My NC is up on August 12th. Should I initiate contact then or extend it. Our four year anniversary would have been on the 17th and I don’t want him to think the proximity to the date has anything to do with it.
admin
August 3, 2013 at 3:07 am
Extended it a few days past that then. You are right about the proximity of the date!
Bobo
August 1, 2013 at 3:24 am
Hi dear,
I love your detailed instructions that I wish I read long time ago. I dated this guys for three months and really love him but I don’t think he loves me. He likes me I m sure. Then I walked away from him and not answer his call and emails. He came to my work and see me then I texted him again but all he texts about he miss me and can’t stop thinking about our hot sex. It made me mad and I deleted him and ignored him. One month later he been keep calling me at work try to talk. I wasn’t here but one time I was there we talked like 3 mins and I said I got to go. After few hours I can’t help not o ask him has he ever love me? He said he like me alot and miss me. Then I said boss is coming I gotta go. He emailed me called few times. And he came to my work 2 months ago, I totally ignored him. He told my co worker he just want to say hi why I ignored him. I don’t hear from him like 3 weeks, one day 5 am I was working alone so sad so emotionally I called his number hen hand up. And I heard from him again after 3 weeks, he left a message on the dating website we met( I just changed my profile and said I proud off self walk away from him. I do love him but I can’t stand for the pain he been hurting me) he texted me there said hi stranger, you wrong about love. And miss you. I replied him next day with a smiley face. Three weeks past not hear from him.
I miss him but I can’t stand for the fact he may not or love me too little. Should I called him or just forget him. I deleted my dating account too because he updated his stuff but not replying me. It hurt. And meanwhile I got 2 Guys asking me out. Not interested but I want to move on.
Sorry I don’t really speak good English. Thanks
1. Call him?
2. Bday coming up next month should I
3. I never have a clean break up with him
4. Will he call me ?
5. Should I give that two guys a shot
Thanks
admin
August 1, 2013 at 5:44 am
1. No go NC
2. If his B-Day is coming next month don’t worry about wishing him a happy birthday.
3. I’m sorry I guess..
4. If you do NC that raises your chances.
5. You should go on a few dates with the guys but for YOURSELF not for any other reason. Actually it is part of the NC rule I recommend to go on a date.
Natasha
August 1, 2013 at 1:38 am
I could use some major advice.
I made some huge mistakes in my ex and i’s relationship, i talked to other guys becasue I wasnt fully happy with the way he started to treat me after a while. we were together for over 2 years and lived together and we have had a child together. he still tells me he loves me and he acts like my man for the most part. we still even have se$. BUT he started talking to this girl after i broke up with him and she lives like 4 hrs away from him and he says their just friends but she has these thoughts that their going to be together. He has doubts and he has to learn to trust me again and he said he wants to start out being friends bc we seem to have forgotten a lot and lost connection. he stopped talking to this girl and then things were going great and were getting closer and then they started talking again and now theres some distance. were on an okay basis right now, ive been living with him and sleeping in the same bed. i came back to my moms for a few days to cool off but we have plans this weekend to spend a few days with friends without our son. some drama started yesterday and a lot happened but he still wants me to go with him this weekend and he told me i didnt have to leave his house today but i did to get some space and give him his. I am super confused and idk how to feel about all this and what is with this other girl. she claims their gna be together when he says he doesnt want to date anyone he wants to be single and he isnt hoonest with her, she has no clue how we are still. PLEASE HELP!
admin
August 1, 2013 at 5:41 am
Your situation is weird b/c you are kind of together but you kind of aren’t.
Honestly, he sounds like a jerk. I seriously think he is trying to get another girl on his plate just to sleep with. Whatever you do don’t give him an ultimatum. I think you may need to pull back a little and not have se$ with him since you aren’t technically together. You need to explain that, that is something that only he gets if he is dating you.
Of course, then you risk him going to the other girl BUT if he does that then it shows him for the jerk he is.
Natasha
August 1, 2013 at 11:37 pm
I agree it is very weird and this girl is also very suspicious and hes not telling her anything and he tells me hes in love with me still and he loves me everyday. i have pulled back some from him and he has been a lot nicer. like to day for example he talked to me all day at work which he has never done before and he misses me and even after work he has texted me nonstop, theres so many mixed signals and hes never been this kinda guy hes normally great and i love him to death. he still takes care of me and our son. but this girl is stuck on some fairytale thing that they have true love and that their gna be together and hes pissed bc he doesnt see any of that and he doesnt want a relationship right now and hes told me there can be an us again i just have to get my jealousy and anxiety and anger under control. i tend to snap out but he can be dick as most emn can (no Offense). do you have any advice as to how i get him to drift more and more from this girl? i love him and i am madly iin love with him i just made a few mistakes. i need to prove to him that he can trust me and ive been working on that.
angie
July 31, 2013 at 7:44 pm
can i get my ex BACK using these tips even if he says he doesn’t want me back cause he know i would hurt him again? (I SWEAR TO GOD I WONT)
admin
August 1, 2013 at 5:24 am
Yes hahaha. No guarantee but these tips have worked for others.
Crystal Cartel
July 31, 2013 at 7:18 pm
My ex and I were together for 14 months. Out of nowhere, he told me he needed to step away. I was devastated. I started to text and call over and over for months. After reading this, I realized I became obsessed and seemed pretty crazy which only pushed him further and further. He contacted me in last month and this month while he was in France. He called, text-ed, Skype, and etc. I was shocked because I always initiated contact after the break up in April. Now that he is back in the U.S., he hasnt contacted me until yesterday when he told me that he is done and I should move on.On the other hand, later that night he texted and said that he wasn’t done, he is just done for now. After coming across this page, the NC period is what I feel is best. Is it too late, especially since I blew up his phone with texts and voice-mails?
admin
August 1, 2013 at 5:25 am
No, in fact if you blew up his phone I might even extend the NC period another half month. It’s up to you though.
Mona
July 31, 2013 at 12:36 pm
I was with my ex for 8months and things were starting to work out perfectly he’d meet my family and friends and they all loved him. We had a serious conversation about marriage and kids and were contemplating getting engaged within the next month, however I found out he had re-added his ex on facebook and they had been in contact and when i confronted him about it he told me he didnt care how i felt and hung up on me. He text me the next day saying he needed space and two weeks later broke up with me over a text message. I went over to his house the next day to return his stuff and things didnt pan out very well. I love him so much and no matter what he says i dont want to let him go. How do i get him back and how long should i wait to contact him?
admin
August 1, 2013 at 5:12 am
Whoa, what is his deal?
Just do everything on this page haha.
Mona
July 31, 2013 at 12:39 pm
i forgot to add his ex is now married and lives in a different country and it was my fault for causing the argument as i flew off the handle pretty fast.
admin
August 1, 2013 at 5:12 am
Well, not great on your part but if you give him and you some time to just calm down there could be light at the end of the tunnel for you!
Jane
July 31, 2013 at 11:45 am
OK. So I sent him a text wishing him a happy birthday, and an open invitation to shoot me a text when he was free. No response yet. I’m going to wait a few days before asking how his birthday was. Tips for that text?
Also… I’m starting to plan ahead for the “meet up.” Does it have to be one on one, or would it be less threatening for it to be a group of mutual friends? I usually have a summer bbq once or twice a year, and that’s where we initially got together. If I can get him to show up and we can hang out “just as friends,” do you think it might stir good memories up?
One more thing: I’ve come to realize he is the “leave or be left” guy… he has little to no faith in himself, and he’s always scared he’ll be left high and dry if he makes a mistake. Is there any way to break through that to let him see that I care enough to not just ditch him?
admin
August 1, 2013 at 5:11 am
I think the key is to see him in person so ideally you want a one on one but if you can get him in a group I would take it. As for asking him how his birthday went. I don’t have much advice unfortunately. It’s not something I usually recommend usually so I haven’t studied up/tested out on anything with that.
Sheela
July 31, 2013 at 7:35 am
Hey Chris,
I am from India .. Me and my boyfriend Were together for almost 5.5 years and we wanted to get married .. We were in a long distance relationship.. Mine is a lil complicated situation. He made me wait for almost 5 years before he gave me a commitment. And within 6 months, he asked his dad to talk to my dad regarding wedding .. But his dad was not that interested .. Due to which, when he spoke to my dad, he spoke negatively about the whole thing .. But his dad told him that my dad was the one who was not interest .. When I got to know of this, I blasted my boyfriend really badly .. Used all words that I wasn’t supposed to .. Due to which he broke up with me .. Another reason was that he hates when I fight with him/push him/don’t give him enough space.. Basically he is very lazy and doesn’t decide anything on his own .. Doesn’t take decisions or initiatives at all .. So even if I tell him tat we should meet up, he never decides when to meet up or never gets back to me ..
He says that he primarily broke up with me coz he was never comfortable with me .. We are complete opposites .. I plan things, decide, m organized, do different stuff, take initiatives .. Nd he doesn’t do any of these .. So when I ask him to do something, he gets irritated and we fight alot ..
So all this break up happened in Dec12 .. Post which I Msgd him nd thrashed him verbally .. He blocked me on watsapp .. I blocked him on FB .. then later he called me in Jan .. Nd askd me if I wna get back .. We fought again over the whole issue n I told him a clear no .. Later after 2 days I askd him nd he said he has planned to do his higher studies .. So he does not want to get back .. But we used to talk intermittently .. Then in mar again we had a fight nd he said he does not want to think abt this issue and leave him alone till august ..nd he would think abt it .. From march till June end , I never called but would have sent him 5 or 6 text Msgs .. Later in June end, wn I Cald him, he said he has not decided anything coz I used to msg him nd this disturbed him .. IN those 4 months, wn i had not spoken to him, he spoke to his friend about this whole break up nd added me on FB .. Hence, I was really hoping .. Wn I askd him y he added me on FB, he said he was going thru my profile nd by mistake the add button got clicked !!! He was so irate with me .. I pleaded him so much to get back but he keeps saying that at the moment, he doesn’t want to get back .. Nd if he has to get back, he hasto fall in love all over again .. Nd he s fine with talking to me .. We spoke for about a month, but every week I keep bringing up our issue of getting back together and he gets irritated .. Yesterday, I told him that I am ready to talk normally but I want him back .. I asked him if he wants me to wait or move on .. We had a fight when brought up his dads issue .. He got really angry and told me to move on ..
I really don’t know how to get him back .. Please help .. I went through your no contact rule .. Will it work , coz our situation is slightly complicated .. Moreover m sure he s not gonna try to contact me at all .. He is very stubborn and most of the time he never talks openly to me ..
admin
August 1, 2013 at 5:04 am
Hi Sheela,
I want you to understand that I can’t guarantee you anything. Well, noone can. But I would say that you should do NC!
sheela
August 2, 2013 at 11:02 am
It is the 3rd day of NC.. And I am getting really restless. HE hasn’t contacted me though.. I know he would never contact me !!!
admin
August 3, 2013 at 3:01 am
Hahahah your on day 3 and freaking out b/c he hasn’t contacted you yet. I wouldn’t worry if I was you. Even if he doesn’t contact you during NC it means nothing. You can still get him back!
Sheela
August 3, 2013 at 4:41 am
Thanks for those supporting words Chris .. Actually its the 4thdaytoday and I am really really hoping I get him back .. I really hope this NC works .. Actually I will be going home to be with my parents for about 2 weeks .. So its going to be not that difficult for me š keeping my fingers crossed !!! Once the NC gets over, I am planning to text him around 3 to 4 Msgs like you have instructed post which i wna have a long conversation with him where I am planing to admit all my mistakes and ask him to give me one last chance .. That’s 2 weeks after NC gets over .. Please tell me if I am right .. I have written down what all I am planning to tell him .. I can mail u the content if you want ..
admin
August 4, 2013 at 2:34 am
Hi There,
I would say not overwhelm him at first. Just keep your very first interaction very short. Feel free to email the messages though and I can see if they are “up to par”
Ena
July 31, 2013 at 2:45 am
Thank you for your great advice. This really helped me cheer up.
I was in a very serious relationship with my bf for 4years and he recently told me that we have to look away from each other because he is very interested in a girl and he has to explore it. We were already on a break when he told me this but i didnāt think he would really try to end our relationship. He currently lives in California (very busy going to a med school) and I am a singer based in new york. We have been on long distance for 2 years and never had trouble with it until his last visit in may. He was here for a week but during that time, I had to be out of town for concerts and only got to see him for 3 days. I live with my parents and my bf was always so close with them but this time, we all got in to arguments (because Its important time of my career and my parents thought he was in my way & might have said hurtful things to him) I was crying during his whole visit because of that and we decided to go on a break. We promised to each other that we will work very hard for now and when the right time comes, we will get married. I think I hurt his feelings too much that he really needed some space. He said that he really felt uncomfortable and uneasy feeling during his last visit and we had more arguments through text messages after he went back and he couldnāt concentrate well on his work. We were still talking during our ābreakā and even after he started dating his new gf, he texted me like āyou are really the sweetest girl on earthā and since he is my first bf he thought I should be happy and explore as well. I started my NC rule three days ago when I first visited this page but my last messages were about our great memories and how Iām very happy to have met him and still hope to one day be with him again. I even told him that I appreciate his new gf for taking care of him during the time I canāt see him and apologized for hurting his feelings so deeply.
My last text , I told him that his friend asked about us (since he took off our pic on fb) so I had to tell his friend and it made me really sad and I asked him to come back. Right after that I started googling what I can do and found this page so I remained silence and he texted me yesterday to let me know that he is studying for his test for tomorrow and to ask how Iām doing. I of course ignored it but I really donāt know if he will ever change his mind. He always make a decision and never really changes it. He told me he really always have huge respect for me and will always help me out but he canāt imagine romantic future with me anymore. He is always nice so I donāt know how I can check how he is after 30 days.
Do you think I should say something else before the 30 days NC? I wish I didnāt tell him to come back to me.
Iām very sorry to take so much of your time.
Thank you so much for your great help!!
admin
August 1, 2013 at 5:01 am
You don’t need to say anything else before you do NC. You just do it and get it done! Hahaha.
Good luck with getting him back and good luck with your singing career!
Sarah
July 31, 2013 at 2:24 am
I need some help. I was with my ex for over two years. The last few months we started fighting more than normal over sill things though. Yet he said his feelings for me were starting to change because of it. Yet after every fight we would say I love you and were sorry. We have been broken up for two months now and heās already in a new relationship. The girl is completely opposite of me. I was the girl he saw a future with because we wanted the same things. She is the girl who has drunk pictures and pictures of her kissing her friends ( who are girls) on Facebook. She doesnāt seem like anything he ever wanted in a girlfriend. I have tried to tell him I would do anything to fix things because I am still in love with him. But he tells me he has already moved on. He said he needs space from me and he deleted me off Facebook. He said its because he was going to make some changes that he didnāt think I needed to see. Although we have mutual friends who can see everything. I need help on figuring out what to do? Do I have a chance? Plus his birthday is next week, what should I do about that?
admin
July 31, 2013 at 2:40 am
Sarah, the new girl is the “ungettable girl”
The girl he never thought he could get that is the attraction! BUT her partying ways will catch up to her don’t worry.
Don’t worry about his birthday. You don’t even need to wish him happy birthday.
Sarah
July 31, 2013 at 4:04 am
I haven’t started the NC rule yet but do you think that would help in this situtaion? I really want to get him back but right now I cant tell if I’m wasting my time?
admin
August 1, 2013 at 5:01 am
I think it is worth a try.
lynn
July 30, 2013 at 11:34 pm
3 weeks he broke up me with reasons he didnt like my past and my job and about another guy I didnt even bothered about. we dated for 13months but we had our fights are mostly out of petty things and ended up in screaming fest.I tried to fix things but as you know u cant fix things if one person is doing it.
so, he told me he loves me and care for me and wouldnt want to lose me completely and that would like to be more than friends. that he would be able to say hi and talk to me and doing things we used to do together. so why he does this when he dont wanna be with me ?
he gave me a sense of hope cos during the 3 weeks, he still held my hand, kisses me, cuddling me when we are sleeping and telling me he will miss having all of that from me.
we still talk with exchanging words of “i love/miss you”s until he got nastier and nastier each day. i wanted a real reason. not a string me along excuses.
i couldnt kick him out my life cos i do love this man alot. too much for my own good but I couldnt bear the pain i felt. So i lied to him so he could be the one who did that instead. I didnt think of the consequences I just want to stop feeling how i am feeling. so now he has blocked me on every possible way. he couldnt understand i needed to cut him out for while so i can heal and learn to live without him. and that the friendship will flourish when it is time.
what i dont get is why he still potrays we are together on profile pics? he told me i used to love you now i just dont like you. there was no NC cos we lived together till the last 3 weeks. NC still works for this ? i love this person and i want him in my life even if its just friends.. help me cos i cant understand his words and actions.
admin
July 31, 2013 at 2:34 am
I know exactly whats happening. He is going by his emotions. He feels something and expresses it immediately without thinking about it. That is why you get these crazy contradicting actions.
NC can work. Read about how to approach it if you live together on this page.
Jade Lillian
July 30, 2013 at 8:11 pm
What if you want to text your ex boyfriend, but he said he blocked your number, and he moved, what can you do?
admin
July 31, 2013 at 2:10 am
Do you have him on Facebook? His email?
Jen
July 30, 2013 at 6:43 pm
Okay.. So I’m in a bit of a pickle. My bf and I had been broken up about a month and a half. Went the first couple weeks talking off and on, to 3 weeks without communication after that, to us talking a couple days last week and also seeing each other last Wednesday and Thursday, it feeling completely great there was no awkwardness and he explained to me how much he missed me, what’s been going on in his life the past month or so, and also talking about the future. The past few weeks with the NC we had had the typical breakup arguments which resulted in us not talking which definitely led me to believe that we were never getting back together. He even said I himself before we went the weeks without talking. About the last week in those 3 weeks I made a typical breakup mistake. I rebounded once and slept with another man. Ironically a few days later is when he started to contact me right before we met up last week the two days. Mind you he had no idea about it, even asked but I denied, and confided that I was still the last woman he’s slept with, and how much he still is in love with me. Friday, I woke up with a bad feeling. He hadnt contacted me so I reached out to see what was wrong. He basically told me he knows now that I am lying about being with another man when I was single and we were broken up then hung up on me. I can only imagine how upset he was, but I seriously thought we were over for good no matter how much I still loved him. Also in that phone call he mentioned how he had planned on getting back together with me, and even sent me a snapshot of a text to his friend saying the same thing earlier this week so I know he’s not kidding. Now that he knows though it’s all down the drain. I’ve sent a couple comforting texts but he hasn’t replied to any. It’s been 5 days now since no contact but I’m sure he hates me now. Is there anything I can do to fix this or am I completely out of luck? I really want him to know it was one time, I was single, we weren’t speaking, and it meant nothing to me. How do I approach this? Help.
admin
July 31, 2013 at 2:14 am
But you were single?
All is fair in love and war. He needs to stop being a baby and realize that.
Sorry, I am in a bit of a rambunctious mood haha.
I would say he needs time so go no contact on him for about a month and then reach out and try again. Don’t make any more rebound mistakes though ok.
Jen
July 31, 2013 at 2:48 am
Yes I was single, still am been a month and a half now. And I agree, thank you I will do the NC again!
stella
July 30, 2013 at 6:12 pm
I was with my boyfriend for 5 years we were engaged and living together, I was getting insecure cause we would never do anything together and he seemed like he stopped caring as much. I accused him of cheating which led to our break up and as far as I know he hasn’t cheated yet but I think his behavior is because he is interested in someone else since we lost our spark. any way the no contact rule is tough cause we live together and we broke up yesterday so it will take a while for one of us to find a new place. I want him back, I love him and I want to work on us and I think he loves me too we just got in a rut but I don’t know how to even begin since we cant have no contact. I have never done something like this but i thought he was going to be my life yesterday and today it seems like he has nothing but hate. how do i start to win him back if i cant give him space. please give me some advice. thank you.
admin
July 31, 2013 at 2:10 am
You can do a variation of the NC rule if you live together Stella (no way thats your name?)
Basically you act like a respectful roommate no texting and engaging in convos with him though. Your interactions are short and to the point though.
stella
July 31, 2013 at 11:22 am
haha no that’s not my real name at all but ive never posted on a site before. don’t know the rules lol. anyway I found out last night he is seeing someone new so I guess I don’t need to know how to get him back. I pulled the classic emotional female thing and flipped out on him and now I am wishing you were an expert on getting over people. thank you for your advice though and for your website. its great.
admin
August 1, 2013 at 5:09 am
Stella (I am just going to call you with that.)
Wanna know a secret, if you want to get over him I would STILL do NC. Be really serious about it though. Improve during that time so you can come out of the breakup on top. It will take time for sure. However, it’s what you do with that time that determines if the breakup owns you or if YOU own the breakup.
Ena
July 30, 2013 at 4:08 pm
Thank you for your great advice. This really helped me cheer up.
I was in a very serious relationship with my bf for 4years and he recently told me that we have to look away from each other because he is very interested in a girl and he has to explore it. We were already on a break when he told me this but i didnāt think he would really try to end our relationship. He currently lives in California (very busy going to a med school) and I am a singer based in new york. We have been on long distance for 2 years and never had trouble with it until his last visit in may. He was here for a week but during that time, I had to be out of town for concerts and only got to see him for 3 days. I live with my parents and my bf was always so close with them but this time, we all got in to arguments (because Its important time of my career and my parents thought he was in my way & might have said hurtful things to him) I was crying during his whole visit because of that and we decided to go on a break. We promised to each other that we will work very hard for now and when the right time comes, we will get married. I think I hurt his feelings too much that he really needed some space. He said that he really felt uncomfortable and uneasy feeling during his last visit and we had more arguments through text messages after he went back and he couldnāt concentrate well on his work. We were still talking during our ābreakā and even after he started dating his new gf, he texted me like āyou are really the sweetest girl on earthā and since he is my first bf he thought I should be happy and explore as well. I started my NC rule three days ago when I first visited this page but my last messages were about our great memories and how Iām very happy to have met him and still hope to one day be with him again. I even told him that I appreciate his new gf for taking care of him during the time I canāt see him and apologized for hurting his feelings so deeply.
My last text , I told him that his friend asked about us (since he took off our pic on fb) so I had to tell his friend and it made me really sad and I asked him to come back. Right after that I started googling what I can do and found this page so I remained silence and he texted me yesterday to let me know that he is studying for his test for tomorrow and to ask how Iām doing. I of course ignored it but I really donāt know if he will ever change his mind. He always make a decision and never really changes it. He told me he really always have huge respect for me and will always help me out but he canāt imagine romantic future with me anymore. He is always nice so I donāt know how I can check how he is after 30 days.
Do you think I should say something else before the 30 days NC? I wish I didn’t tell him to come back to me.
Iām very sorry to take so much of your time.
Thank you so much for your great help!!
admin
July 31, 2013 at 2:04 am
Hi there,
I don’t think you should say anything else before the NC period. Just jump right in and do it!
Ena
August 1, 2013 at 12:44 pm
Ok, thank you! I asked him right after breakup if I can go visit him (bc we are on a long distance) he told me that he should give a honest chance to his new gf (also a long distance so I don’t know if they will see each other before the NC period is over) after I start talking with him, do you think at the step of calling him and asking him to meet up, I should really try to visit him or wait until he naturally comes back to me?
admin
August 2, 2013 at 2:09 am
I think you should attempt to not come off as pushy b/c he won’t like that. Hmm… just try to let things happen naturally. This won’t happen in one day.