The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

A

June 27, 2020 at 1:36 pm

My (ex)boyfriend and I have been together for 3+ years. We broke up somewhere in the middle of May. I tried a little bit of the NC rule, sometimes I cannot not reply because of emergency situations. I decided to contact him again after 2+ weeks, because my emotions got me. He still doesn’t want to be in any relationship at the moment. We’re in good terms though, and decided to be friends again (but I started to do NC rule again, and it’s been almost a week). Should I start over, or should I just continue the 2+ weeks of NC?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 27, 2020 at 7:19 pm

Hi A, no contact needs to be a solid 30 days minimum, where you do not break it for any reason. And unless you share bills children or responsibility of some sort you need to avoid breaking it. The more times you break and re start NC it loses its effectiveness. So if you want this program to work then you are going to have to follow the advice and stick with a NC for 30 days SOLID no matter what and then work on yourself in the mean time, read about the Holy Trinity and being Ungettable. At the end of your 30 days you then need to reach out with a text that Chris suggests

Li

June 24, 2020 at 1:39 pm

I have been with my bf for 1 and a half years nearly. We moved in together on our 1 year anniversary. It was going good, except the Covid situation happened and its made us lose that ‘excitement’. We both used to be quite busy with work and used to savour our time together but now we constantly work and live together. Plus not seeing family or friends has made me feel very lonely and sad as we are restricted about what we can do. We don’t usually fight but occasionally i have mood swings and ignore him for not giving me affection. He has recently good a new job and a new apartment which we are set to move into in a few months and have been excited buying furniture and everything. Then one day after one of my mood swings we decide to have a genuine chat and he says he doesn’t know if he can do this anymore with my constant mood swings and boring behaviour. This is the first time we have properly mentioned how we have felt as we both didn’t know we were keeping things inside. Initially he wanted to end us, but then we decided to go on a break. I have since gone to stay with my parents and left him in our flat and we are currently not communicating until we have made a decision in the next 2 weeks. I don’t know how to feel.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 26, 2020 at 10:59 pm

Hey Li, everyone has had strains with the pandemic, so I would say that you need to take some time to consider how you feel and how to get yourself back to your norm again when it is safe to do so. From having busy lives to full time together is hard on relationships, especially those who have not been living together too soon. I would suggest that you spend some time on yourself, and consider how you are feeling when your life can start to get back to normal

Anonymous

June 20, 2020 at 6:29 pm

My ex and I were together for almost 8 years. We have a really long history of him being jealous/possessive, but the last couple of years he had changed. He’s in med school and working so he had been extremely busy and stopped making time to see me. He would talk about having kids and getting married. We were talking about moving in but this pandemic made it impossible and he suggested next year. His reason for the break up was that he didn’t feel like himself, he needed to find himself, there was too much bad history that over wrote the good, the typical “it’s not you, it’s me.” He said I’m the picture perfect woman but that I deserved better. Someone who would give me affection and time. A week prior, he came over and said he wanted to go on a road trip but I said we would wait until his finals were done. Before he left he gave me a really big hug and told me he loved me. After the break up we kept in contact for about a week. He messaged me and said “it feels better knowing that you replied.” He then said he wouldn’t message me so I can move on but that I could message him and he’d reply. I’ve been in no contact for about 2 weeks now and I’ve been trying to work on myself during this quarantine. How long should I stay in no contact for before reaching out to him?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

July 14, 2020 at 8:30 pm

Hey there, so you should do around 30 days No Contact. And then read about the texting phase before you start reaching out to him

Anonymous

June 20, 2020 at 9:04 am

I haven’t seen anyone ask about this
But if you are doing no contact and you share streaming media’s with your ex, should should you change your password as well or is it unnecessary?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 20, 2020 at 12:40 pm

Hey, so yes this has come up a few times, so the bill payer keeps the account, so if your ex is paying for the account log out and use your own. If your ex is using yours then change the passwords and log out of all areas

Anonymous

June 20, 2020 at 8:51 am

My ex boyfriend and I were together for 7+ years. He broke up with me about 2 1/2 weeks before our 8 year anniversary. When we talked about about it he said that the reason behind it was because he loves me but isn’t sure if he’s IN love with me. He said he needed to find himself and that he was too young to get married and have kids (we are both in our 20’s but he’s younger than me) even thought he was the one who brought all that up. We have a really long history of him being over extremely jealous/possessive, but towards the end of the relationship he stopped trying to find the time to see me. He was extremely busy because of med school. He stopped being there for me emotionally (I was having a hard time coping with my cats passing and other family stuff). He also said that I needed to value myself and that I shouldn’t have let him treat me that way. We were planning on moving in together this year but because of the pandemic he said it was better to wait for next year. A few weeks prior to the breakup he asked me if I wanted to go on a road trip and I said yes but that we should wait for his finals to be over. He came over to my place a few days before the break up as well and hugged me for quite some time seeing as how we weren’t able to see each other too much. Everything was going great and before he left that day, he told me he loved me and kissed me goodbye. Now I’m so confused. He said he wants to continue being best friends but I said I wasn’t sure about that. I’m not sure I can be able to see him with someone else. I asked if he didn’t feel anything when we kissed and he had said yes but that there was too much bad history between us that it accumulated and now he doesn’t see a future with me. I explained that I saw him improving his behavior and was no longer acting possessive. He kept insisting that It was too much. He also said that I’m able to txt him and that he will reply, but that he wont be the first to try and reach out to me so that I can move on. We talked after the break up for about a week. I have started no contact and should be coming to an end in about 2 1/2 weeks.
Would no contact work? I have a feeling he just feels guilty about our past because he would say how I deserve better and is just saying this to push me away. I would always reassure him that he is what I wanted/still want, but he seems firm on his decision.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

July 18, 2020 at 12:12 am

Hey, yes you nee to follow a No Contact and it would work giving that you follow the advice and information in the articles to help you through it and work on yourself

Amanda

June 10, 2020 at 5:42 pm

My boyfriend and I were together for two months. He dropped the L bomb first. Now we both have horrible pasts and brought that luggage into our relationship. I was constantly bickering and starting petty fights with him. We got past them of course but he started to feel unhappy and it led to him not knowing what he wanted plus he has personal issues. So last week he tells me he wants to go on a break and I never been on one so I’m thinking ok we’re still together but we’re just giving each other space. Then we were talking yesterday and he said I wanna be friends and get along I kinda flipped out and said why didn’t you just break up with me instead of saying go on a break? He didn’t want to hurt my feelings yet he did. I told him if he gave us another chance everything will be different he said it doesn’t mean we can never try again he just doesn’t want a relationship right now he wants to work on himself. He says he still cares about me. But is there still hope for me and him?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 13, 2020 at 10:25 pm

Hi Amanda, there is still hope but ideally you and he would work on your issues or “baggage” before re entering a relationship. This is why we say to work on the Holy Trinity so that you are dealing with your own issues and are at your best self so that you can be in a happy and healthy relationship.

Sapphire R Hemmings

June 8, 2020 at 2:39 am

Well me and my boyfriend broke up after one bad week during this pandemic. I went to a friend’s for a few days and came back on his birthday. I thought it was the day after. So we split up because he doesn’t know how he feels about me anymore. But i still love him.
lerisha

June 7, 2020 at 4:20 pm

this really helped me allot ,I am starting my 30 day no contact tomorrow ,i am not sure it will work cause he knows I want him back but rejected me because he is afraid of getteinh hurt again
Jamie

June 2, 2020 at 1:56 pm

Hi,
My boyfriend broke up with my 2 weeks ago because I got frustrated and said that I would sacrifice my happiness for him because he was unable to talk to me during my break at work. We had a few issues before with him not talking to me when he was busy but he expected me to talk to him when I was busy. We were together for 7 months and we were planning on moving in together after college next year. He told me that he could see me in his future and everything. He messaged my sister after he broke up with me telling her to keep an eye on me because he was worried about me. But hasn’t had any contact with anyone since. I messaged him a few times to try and reason with him and found out that I am blocked on everything and so are all my family and friends that he had on social media but I have now gone into no contact for almost a week now. He is very insecure and stubborn and I dont know if there is anything I can do to try and get him back

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 3, 2020 at 11:13 pm

Hi Jamie, following the program is giving you, your best chance at getting your ex back. Always starting with a No Contact and working on your Holy Trinity

Lee

May 27, 2020 at 5:36 pm

Hello my boyfriend and I been together for almost 6 years now starting starting staying together earlier this year as we wanted our only daughter to grow up with her both parents. Just after some few months later we almost argue everyday over small issues and he’s been nagging me I jst felt controlled by him In the house. I decided to move out not because I don’t want him anymore but because I thought things could go back to the way the was before we moved in together. He took it as a break-up and I don’t wanna lose him either please help

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 2, 2020 at 12:05 am

Hi Lee I would suggest that you speak to your boyfriend about why you left the family home and if that does not work then you need to start following a limited no contact while following the program

Hayley

May 25, 2020 at 11:44 am

Hey! my ex broke up with me on Friday (22 May), on the week of my birthday. We were so close before the break up. I was craving for more attention and I was suffering from depression and low self-esteem.
He broke up with me, claiming I deserved better because he cannot give me all the attention I needed. He told me he loved/s me and always will and that he will regret his action for the rest of his life.
I couldn’t take the pain so I contacted him on Sunday but he said the break up is the greatest act of love towards me from him. He said he can be friends with me but he cannot be my man again
I am ready to go through the NC and other processes just to get him back but my ex is very stubborn and adamant so I don’t know if I have chance/s of getting him back.
Y

May 24, 2020 at 12:21 pm

hi my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me a month ago. Before we started dating i made out with another boy this always bothered him and we’ve had many fights related to this. when we broke up this time he said he feels like a second choice and he feels locked down by me. after we broke up i did No Contact for a week and then we started talking normally and since we are under lockdown and stay in different cities we started watching movies on netflix party. But all of a sudden 2-3 days ago when we had been broken up for a month i asked if he would consider discussing about our relationship status and take me back. he flat out said no and that he doesn’t want to be with me. We were bestfriends before we started dating i don’t wanna lose him. How do i fix this situation ?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 29, 2020 at 3:41 pm

Hey there Y, so the fact that he is bringing up a guy form four years ago – I wouldn’t accept this as a reason to break up you since had a long relationship. For whatever reason he thinks that the relationship isn’t right for him. You need to complete a 30 day No Contact during which you need to work on your Holy Trinity and striving to become the Ungettable girl. This work on yourself is essential to this program and seeing progress with your ex.

y

May 23, 2020 at 4:44 pm

my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me a month ago because he felt incompetent and like he is holding me down he feels like he is the second choice because i made out with a boy before we dated and it really affected him. i completely shut contact with him for a week right after we broke up. and when i reached out after that things were good since we are quarantined in diff cities we watched movies on netflix party and talked about normal things. but a few days ago when our breakup completed one month i asked if he would take me back and his response broke my heart again and all those feelings came rushing back i wanted to discuss with him what he was feeling but he kept stonewalling me. He doesnt like sharing and thinks i dont understand him. i really wish we could be friends again he was one of my best friends before we started dating. What do you think i should do about this im a wreck especially after our recent conversation?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 9, 2020 at 10:45 am

Hey there, so if you want to get your ex back then you need to start following the program. Read the articles on this website to help you along the way while completing your No Cotnact

Keyla smith

May 20, 2020 at 4:20 pm

Hello My boyfriend of 11 years moved out a week in half ago, we have 1 daughter together but 3 daughters all together. Mothers Day he did not get me anything.he said I needed to ACT RIGHT! I got upset and stormed out house while doing that, I started yelling and said that I was done. (Not with us but with the conversation). So, I left and he texted we both said so hurtful things and when I got back home he had moved out. Long story short a week later I decided to text him he did not read or respond back to texts. He bought our daughters new phns and himself a new phn and he also has a new num he did not give me. I called him From our daughters phn he answer and heard my voice and asked me not to call him and hung up. Is this it? Can our relationship be saved? Will he move back in?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 20, 2020 at 11:32 pm

Hi Keyla, I would suggest that you seek out a local therapist and you also need to complete a limited no contact for at least 30 days where you only speak in regards to the daughters. Otherwise put some distance between you for the short term. If he is willing to go to the therapist with you. If not then you need to follow the program from No Contact to the texting phase

Jenna

May 18, 2020 at 11:34 pm

Hi my ex broke up with me end of July 2019. We were together for 4 years. We still spoke back and forth and I did the whole begging pleading but he never shut me out and wanted to remain friends. It was pretty full on and I defiantly went the wrong way about things and pushed him further away. I did no contact in January the whole month. I then reached out in feb. Asking how he was to catch up etc he agreed but he kept getting putting off. It hurt my feelings. I made a mistake and told him how I really felt. I thought honesty was the best policy. He told me he had moved on and was seeing someone else but again told me happy to remain friends and possibly catch up soon. we were texting back and forward for a bit but Getting nowhere I called him out on it and again to full on he said he felt uneasy and blocked me. I made the same mistake and undone the progress we had made. We have recently spoke cleared the air and he is considering catching up but I get a dry response to one word responses and unsure. Should I do no contact again ? Any advice would help please.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 20, 2020 at 9:26 pm

Hi Jenna, I would say that you would do a short NC this time around 21 days and then form there be sure that when you reach out again it is going to be with texts that Chris suggests, but also that oyu have been working your Holy Trinity and using social media to show the person you want your ex to view you as

C

May 18, 2020 at 2:32 pm

partner broke up with me on Friday completely unexpectedly. We were due to get married this summer. He said he wanted to break up, he loved me but wasn’t in love with me and felt we were just friends, he said he felt trapped. He also said he had been having these thoughts for weeks. It is a complete shock as the past few weeks in lockdown have been difficult but we have shared many happy times. Nothing has pointed to this happening. We love each other deeply and I believe that to be true. He left to stay at a friends straight after this and came around yesterday to collect more belongings. Since arranging that I have had no contact so I guess I’ve started the no contact rule. This is the man I want to grow old with and I believe we have a strong and happy relationship. I am worried that he is actually very depressed and has blamed his feelings of unhappiness onto me and our relationship. I am going to follow the process outlined here, am I doing the right thing? Is there hope?
Thank you

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 27, 2020 at 10:14 pm

Hi C, yes you are doing the right thing follow the process and use the information to help you! Especially the articles about being Ungettable and the Holy Trinity

C

May 18, 2020 at 12:30 pm

My partner broke up with me on Friday completely unexpectedly. We were due to get married this summer. He said he wanted to break up, he loved me but wasn’t in love with me and felt we were just friends, he said he felt trapped. He also said he had been having these thoughts for weeks. It is a complete shock as the past few weeks in lockdown have been difficult but we have shared many happy times. Nothing has pointed to this happening. We love each other deeply and I believe that to be true. He left to stay at a friends straight after this and came around yesterday to collect more belongings. Since arranging that I have had no contact so I guess I’ve started the no contact rule. This is the man I want to grow old with and I believe we have a strong and happy relationship. I am worried that he is actually very depressed and has blamed his feelings of unhappiness onto me and our relationship. I am going to follow the process outlined here, am I doing the right thing? Is there hope?
Thank you

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 20, 2020 at 9:59 pm

Hi C, if he is depressed then it is going to show him that you were not the issue when it comes to him still feeling low when you are not around. Be sure that you stick to your NC and work on your Holy Trinity. When you have completed 30 days NC and reach out if you get a negative response then you need to extend as this is more a sign that your ex is not ready and nothing to do with the work you have put in yourself during this time

Kat

May 18, 2020 at 3:48 am

My ex broke up with me the day before our 2 year anniversary and I was not expecting it at all, I thought we were happy together. He didn’t love me anymore. We had been planning to get married and have kids in a few years. He has been going through personal issues and said that I no longer made him happy and his unhappiness was unfair to me. He said he didn’t see me in his future anymore. He said I was always a great girlfriend. I was totally heartbroken and for the next two days I begged for him to let me “fix” this, and I regret it because I couldn’t fix it. After two days, he started getting mean and told me to accept it and move on. He also said I was emotionally draining, I had went though a lot of stuff this past year as well and I was very open with communication, whereas he was not. I hate that I looked desperate to him because I know I am a 10/10, but I would love to just apologize for how I was a “gnat” and I want to start fresh. I think this space is doing me good, I feel more confident and independent than I ever have but I miss him. I haven’t spoke to him in any form of communication in 2 weeks. I also told him “alright I’ll reach out to you in a couple months” because he said he needed space. So now I’m scared he will move on in a couple months and not want me back. Am I on the right track? How do I avoid this anxiety of losing him for good? I’m scared he is too stubborn to change his mind and give our relationship a second try.
I

May 16, 2020 at 4:52 pm

Hello! We broke up more than a month ago. After a 4 months relationship. I told him that I want a break up because he started to act cold, was constantly on his phone (we moved in together and shared an apartment for 2 weeks or so) and it all started immediately. I know it was a mistake to move in together so quickly. But oh well. So after I told him that I want to break up with him, he said, that he was going to leave anyway in two days. So after he left the same day, I reached out to him in like 4 days, asked him to come back, he said no, but offered to become friends, I said no. And I went to a no concoct rule for a little bit more than 30 days. He had a birthday during the time of NC. I didn’t call him or text. So when it was the time for me to reach out, I send him a text and my apologies for not wishing a happy birthday. His reply was very positive, he asked me where I am, and how the things are, and that he is not mad at me at all (his friend told me that he was surprised that I didn’t call him). So I stoped the conversation then. I reached out to one of his friends who knows him well, we had a very long conversation, and his friend said that they talked and that my ex doesn’t want any kind of relationships and that he is over me. Should I text my ex again? He doesn’t text me first. So for now we didn’t talk for 4 days. Or should I just trust his friend and just forget about it?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 27, 2020 at 10:48 am

Hey there, so there is a couple of things you shouldnt have reached out to the friend. This could be why your ex isnt talking to you again. If you want to follow the program then you need to read the articles given and follow the advice. Asking the friends for information about him, and if he is over you. Its all going to get back to your ex and he is going to know that you are reaching out to get him back (not what you want him to think). I would suggest that you do a short 21 day No Contact and start the texting phase again and this time don’t involve other people

k

May 15, 2020 at 8:14 pm

hi i’m currently doing no contact with my ex but i told him about it and said it was because i needed to get over him, was this a mistake? also we’re still sending one blank snap a day to keep the streak is that doing any harm to the situation? should i break the no contact then start it again soon without telling him?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 15, 2020 at 8:26 pm

Hi K, stop with the snapchat stuff.. you need to complete a NC … 30 days of NO CONTACT. Keeping a snap streak is not important and it shows you are bothered about said link to him. It is not ideal that you told him but you make sure that you are working on yourself to the fullest during your No Contact

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8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”