The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Kavya

February 23, 2020 at 11:28 am

Sir, my bf don’t wanna be in relationship because of some of his personal home problems I don’t know what actual problem he has because he didn’t told me. I wanna make him understand that whatever problem comes in life I will be there for him but he is not understanding the fact what I’m telling him. He even blocked me , my number and even on social media fb , insta and all . Please sir help me so he come back in my life forever I really love him alot….

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 27, 2020 at 10:33 pm

Hi Kavya, so allowing your boyfriend some space to allow for him to deal with his family issues is going to benefit you as he is going to see you are not willing to chase him or that you are that needy that you will be put on the side lines when he feels like it. Make sure you remain social with friends and focus on being happy

shagun saluja

February 18, 2020 at 5:59 pm

hi, me n my boyfriend broke up 5 months back..
we were in serious commitment and wants to get marry to each other .
he gave me reason for break up which i found is not correct, i think he lied to me n just to hide that he broke up with me.
reason was he is not happy with me and he feels irritate with me from last 7-8 months, but if that is case then why he gifted laptop on my birthday.
he dated another gal for like 20-25 days, at the sane time that gal was dating two more guys. i tried not to talk to him,
but im addicted to him. Even he did so much, i still want him back.
i said i dont want to lose you, to which he said im not going anywhere, but stay normal if you want too.
i told him i cant be just your friend, and im returning his gifts, to which i think he dint felt good .. and he said
that he will also return hi gifts and everything ..
what to do,I love him a lot and want him back .. I tried everything to make him feel special on his birthday even he said so much to me ..
please help !!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 27, 2020 at 9:34 pm

Hi Shagun, I would suggest that you follow a No Contact, and work on yourself in that time. The amount of effort you put into making him “feel special” you need to put into yourself! Read the articles about being Ungettable and focus on yourself for some time. Read as many articles as you can on this website that apply to you during your No Contact

Shell

February 16, 2020 at 4:55 pm

So my ex has reached out to me after 3 months of no contact. However he doesn’t seem to want to actually see me shale I just be honest and say are we meeting or not? It’s been 4 weeks of texting but all his done is reach out said load of words to me but no effort to actually meet up for a catch up? What should I do here?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 16, 2020 at 8:42 pm

Hi Shell, so honestly, 4 weeks is not that long about texting, when you are trying to get an ex back. If you can move to phone calls and talk on the phone now and again you will find that he is investing his time into talk to you should lead to meet ups eventually. But read about what you need to do during phone calls before you attempt one

Grace

January 30, 2020 at 2:21 am

During the No Contact period, should I still open his snaps and not respond or should I not open them at all?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 30, 2020 at 10:33 pm

Try to not open them if you can avoid it

Sarah

January 27, 2020 at 10:22 am

My ex boyfriend broke up with me a month ago because of my parents. He said he didnt want me anymore, he didnt want me to fight for him or the relationship. He thinks it’s best if he and I stay separated forever. I am truly committed to this guy. I have been in love with him for two years, but we were only daying for 5 months.. as far as I know, we both love each other. Been in love since high school. I really want him back. Please help…

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 30, 2020 at 10:28 pm

Hey Sarah start following the program, and for whatever reason your parents caused the break up you need to assure that issue is not there in the future

Adejumo damilola

January 6, 2020 at 4:02 pm

Hello my boyfriend broke up with me, we had no fights he just stopped caring and when I asked he said, Im special, beautiful and he loves me but hes not sure what he wants, i deserve a good man and we should breakup
RR

January 4, 2020 at 1:38 pm

Hey Chris
My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago .We were in a relationship from past 2 and half years. Since then i am continuously contacting him . I am afraid of losing him and also if he fell in love with someone else because before me he had been in a 5 year long relationship and when he broke out with that girl ..he started talking to me ..we fell in love and he never contacted that girl . I am afraid if he won’t contact me ?? i want him back …i am really truly committed to him and can’t imagine anything without him . currently there is a girl in his class whom he started talking .i am afraid if he fell in love with her . what should i do now ?i’ve been begging him from a month

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 4, 2020 at 9:23 pm

Hi R, so you need to stop begging! NOW! You need to give it some time and space. Some No Contact to get your emotions under control and your ex a chance to have a break from you and the situation

Stella

December 30, 2019 at 10:03 am

Hi Chris, my boyfriend of one year just broke up with me and, he said I was behaving like a slave, like I was addicted to him. That he doesn’t want a relationship for now and we should be friends. After how many hours of breaking up, he started chatting me, asking what I was doing and telling me what he was also doing, and this is the same person that I will chat and he wouldn’t respond. After I responded, he hasn’t contacted me again and I am lost right now, what should I do. Should I follow the no contact rule or what. Thank you

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 30, 2019 at 10:15 pm

Hey Stella yes follow the no contact rule and understand that your ex reached out to see if you would answer…

Alexis

December 25, 2019 at 12:29 am

Hi Chris,

My ex broke up with me on November 1st because he said he felt I deserved better, his priorities had changed and that he just can’t have a relationship with anyone right now. About two weeks later he sent me a letter saying how he was sad the way things ended and how amazing I was and how much the relationship meant to him. However he said he doesn’t want to give me any hope because he still doesn’t want a relationship even with another girl. He stressed this even in our break up.
He said he still loves me… “perhaps not in a romantic way…” so I’m a bit confused about that.
On thanksgiving night I sent him a text that I accepted his decision and told how I was happy for him for his activities and looked forwarded to the person he will grow to be. He replied the next morning on a positive note. We haven’t spoken since.
We were high school sweethearts and we were together for about a year and a half. We both go to two completely different colleges but with similar majors that require a lot of work. So could it be a possibility of reconciliation? Have you heard of any thing like this?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 29, 2019 at 8:15 pm

Hey Alexis, it sounds like he is thinking about you and your past, it could have been a letter of closure for him. If you want the guy back then you are going to have to reach out to him and try and re connect and re attract him. His feelings for you are still there but not romantically – which is where you need to do work to be the Ungettable girl

Kaylee

November 10, 2019 at 6:42 pm

So I’m only in high school and Friday my boyfriend broke up with me. It was my fault it all happened and I was completely honest to him about the situation. It was all okay until my ‘best friend’ told him a lie that I didn’t do. He believed her me not me. So he left. We were together pretty much 3 years and he was the loveliest person I had ever met and all I want is him back. I have tried so hard to get him back. My only problem is I kept contacting him and he then eventually blocked me. I’m going to try the 30 days of no contact but the hard thing is I see him everyday at school and he is in most of my lessons and I sit next to him in most of them. Please help me get him back

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 10, 2019 at 8:54 pm

Hi Kaylee you need to read about the limited No Contact – and how to get your ex’s trust back. Read as much as you can to get all the information you need to help you through the program and know what to do in certain situations.

Montana

September 6, 2019 at 1:07 pm

I need help getting my ex back. We just started talking again after no contact. He seems hot and cold and says we split due to it was the right thing to do. I’m completely lost.
Erin

August 21, 2019 at 9:29 pm

Hey! As per anyone who reads this probably, I’m going through a breakup but I still don’t think it should’ve happened. It has happened before, and its due to stress. I want to implement the no talking rule but, alas, he has some of my stuff, and that stuff i need back (my brand new sweater! And actual money! Like a decent amount of it too). Now, Usually I’d just wait until he messages me but this time hes leaving for residency (in school) in less a week *(but will still be around because his school is less then an hour away from our houses). What do I do? Do i implement the no talking rule or should I get my shit back first??
JULIE

July 28, 2019 at 7:47 am

Hi Chris,
I am having a major breakdown and searching the web for answers and advice, and I stumbled upon your page and I found it useful.
My ex and I have been together for 4 years(live together since year 2 and still living together), long story short he broke up with me the beginning of October. During that month I didn’t come home but slept at my moms place. He called me sometime the middle of October and asked how I was doing. And told me how he wasn’t feeling good so I said this was what he wanted and he said he thought that was what he wanted. At the time i didn’t know about the No Contact so I made a mistake for picking his call. We would text back and forth and it seemed like everythingwas back to normal. Around November I stopped by our place and he was there..we hooked up 3 times and that was when he decided to stopped sleeping there. He would stayed at his parents or friends place, and that’s when we rarely seen each other or texting. Throughout the months he’d stopped by our place sometimes to get his stuff or shower then left. Sometimes he’d fold the blanket and fixed the bed when I didn’t have time to do that morning. It wasn’t till 2 weeks ago that night he suddenly came back. I was sleeping and heard the door opened. We talked he asked about my day work like how he normally does and I asked about his. Then he started saying “you can tell that i stopped by sometimes right(ie. fold the blankets)?” Also said coming back looking at this place made him feel sad that was why he doesn’t want to stay there long. I don’t remember specifically how it happened but we started talking about the past and he had an emotional breakdown and teared up. Saying how bad I mistreated him when he was there for me, supporting me and helping me financially(I told him about my debt) and physically because when we were together I didn’t have to pay for anything. He paid for rent, food and when we go out too. My needs and happiness goes first before his. But I wasn’t there for him leaving him at home alone most of the time when I was at my moms.” I know I was wrong and I apologized to him and hugged him. He said not to worry about him and to let him stay and think(I didn’t asked what he meant by that). The next night we talked more. At night I pretended to be deep asleep and touched his hair and put my hand on his chest. I guess that action made him feeling uncomfortable and didnt come home the following night. Weekend we do our own things and didnt see each other until the following weekday. He told me about having a talked with one of his bestfriends on sunday and that his friend suggested him seeking counseling. He told me about his struggles at work too. I dont know what got into me but at night i wanted to cuddle with him like how we used to but he pulled away saying he can’t at this time, that was when I thought about moving out. We didnt see each other the rest of that week. I texted him on friday saying I found a place and will be checking it out sunday afternoon. It was then around sunday evening when I got a text from a friend saying she ran into my ex at a tofu place with a girl, that was when I know why he been acting the way he did. I didnt asked him until monday night when we see each other again at our place. He told me that he just got back from his parents place. It seemed like they had an argument. He always wanted to move into a bigger place an apartment (even when we were together but i couldn’t help him cus of my financial) and seemed like none of his siblings can move in with him. He told his mom if only she didn’t kicked him out that year and that he has to find a place none of this would’ve happened he wouldn’t be in this situation and that hes not in debt(I guess eventho his salary wasn’t enuf for us he found other ways to do it). He was willing to pay rent but she still wanted him to move. He reminded her about her asking me to help him find a place. That was when we decided to moved in together and thats when he asked my moms permission for us to move in together when originally he was supposed to live by himself. He told her about the diamond ring that he helped me pay(my mom wanted to get me a diamond ring to have as a gift from her and he helped out by paying $700, after we broke up I wanted to give him back his money so I sold the diamond back but he didn’t take it.) but he didnt take back the money and she called him stupid for not taking the money. He said he thought that was the right thing to do at the time and he did it because of love. Long story short he got mad and left and started screaming in his car(that was what i was told). Then I started asking him about the girl. He admitted it. He said they been dating since March and shes kinda young. He said sometimes when he did something and her respond wasnt what he thought. When they started texting and the things they do or places they go reminded him of me and he doesn’t know if what he was doing was right. He asked me if I’ve been seeing anyone. I told him the truth that I had and that was last March also and we dated for a month, but it didnt work out because I was like him doing things reminded me of him so I ended it. I told him about me seeking relationship coaching and how the coach said our relationship was lack of communication and he agreed. He said I rarely communicate with him or tell him my feelings and thoughts and waited until it builds up and take it on him, and we started talking about the past. I ended the conversation early and wanted to sleep but truth is I was hurt inside knowing he is with someone. The next morning when I was getting ready for work he was awake and wishing me to drive safely(this I havent heard in a long time after we brokeup). The next night I was in bed and he came home. He asked how my day was. Then he asked if I was hurt about the news. I said no. He said he can feel it because he knows how I am even when we were together he didn’t talk to his friends that are girls because he knew I don’t like it and that hurting me was the last thing he wanted to do. That was the reason why he didn’t want to tell me. He asked me about the guy I told him about last night and asked if I’m seeing anybody else. I said no. Just hanging out with friends. He also asked if the reason I reached to relationship coaching was because after I found out about the girl, I told him no it was before. Then we ended up talking about the past…AGAIN. How he got his ways just to make me happy and taking care of me, supporting me. He knows I’ve done a lot for him in the beginning of our relationship that was why he always wanted to do more for me later on in our relationship when he got a good job. Loving and caring for me. Doing all the things for me and buying me expensive things. Supporting me financially so that I can only concentrate on paying my bills, he been doing everything for 2 years but I haven’t shown any signs of improvement. He sometimes sees me buying stuff. And I sometimes got mad at him for spending time with his family or siblings. He said that was part of the reason why he was never at his parents place for too long and that he’d be home early waiting for me. The last fight we had was because of him coming home late from having dinner with his brother. I got mad and wrote him long text, saying if hanging out with his sibling and pokemon go is more important to him then we shouldn’t be together(he recalled the incident). That was when he snapped and broke up with me. He asked how could I say that? I know i was wrong. My temper has got into me and saying things that I shouldn’t have. He also said if only I had concentrated more into our relationship than his family then it would’ve been better, but I wasn’t at the time when we were together. I hold grudges against his family and stopped visiting them eventhough he once told me he’s family oriented.
It feels like we keep on going back and forth about the past what has happened and he keeps asking me questions everytime we see each other so I decided to not coming home anymore. I’ve made my decision to move out. I’m still heartbroken about his new girlfriend and seeing him and with him asking me the past nights isnt helping. I dont know what he was thinking the last few encounters. What is he trying to get from me? Why is he asking me these questions? And why did he had an emotional breakdown the first time we actually had a conversation together? I’m still confused. Please help me. I don’t know if after moving out and doing this No Contact would help anything. I am still in love with him. I regretted my mistakes, and my childish careless act to him. I wish i had a chance to make it up to him and treated him better. Please help.
Julia

July 28, 2019 at 6:01 am

Hi Chris my boyfriend ended our releationship because his mother came in between us he tried to get back together but she threatened to kick him out now he’s telling everyone it’s my fault as he paid for everything when we were together(he didn’t) I’m devestated because I love him and felt we had overcome so much and it is worth saving I’m in no contact and he’s now ignoring me anyway I don’t know what else to do and am hoping for a miracle
Heather

July 26, 2019 at 1:51 pm

Hi Chris,

I recently stumbled across your podcasts and blogs. My boyfriend recently broke up with me about 4 days ago. We had been long distance for 2 and a half years, just went on our first vacation together, and had already gone through some really difficult times with family issues. We were always there for each other, really good at communicating, being honest, making trips to see each other, and times to call and/or FaceTime. The past few months we had some issues, all small minor things, that seemed to be fixed and okay, but he said that the past few months made him unsure about closing the distance, the future, and just made him want to focus on himself. Even though we mutually called this a “break” we’re going through it like a normal break up. He said he didn’t want things to end horribly and wanted to be friends, and although he’s not sure if time and growth and fix the issues he’s not ruling out the possibility of us getting back together. I agreed and said that I do believe time, space ,growth and self reflection can really help focus on what to do differently, if we were to try us out again, and may fix the issues. Even with me saying that he agreed. We both shared such a special connection, and because of the family problems that happened, spending holidays together and going to each other’s college graduations, I do believe he just needs time to himself. His sister even told me she strongly believes he will come back and so many people have as well. The last text sent was me telling him I needed time before I could even talk to him, and it may take a while. He said he understands that and I understand he does not wan to be in a relationship at this moment and for a while. Even though it hurts, there’s something in my gut that keeps telling me that although I love him enough to let him go and figure himself out, he will come back. I don’t know when but I believe it. I’ve already started reflecting in a journal and writing down what I would work on in the future to make the relationship stronger and better. I really want him to come back, and I believe he will even though I know I have to tell myself that maybe he won’t. There’s already been so many signs I’ve been seeing that correlate with him and his interests that are telling me we’ll be okay. I’m not angry, and there’s no hatred towards him which is also weird. I’m glad he was honest with me now instead of further down the line like if we were visiting each other or something. I’ve been reading everything and I’ve started the no contact rule and although I heard he deleted pictures from our recent vacation he’s also been distant with things. I know this is a good time for self reflection on both individuals. I would love to try us again sometime and I do believe we could make it work.

Do you think we could make it work and that he will come back??

-Thank you,
Heather
Annabelle

July 22, 2019 at 2:36 pm

I actually need your help badly so me and my ex were together for a month and on are 1 month anniversary he broke up with me and this is the 5th time he has broken up with me. And this time he said he wasn’t comfortable with me rest of the times he broke up with me was because he wants ready to for a relationship. Please help me
Heer

July 20, 2019 at 7:38 pm

Hey, I have been dating this guy since 8 months. He was a roommate of my friend. He really liked me since day one he saw me. Then he tried to pursue me and observing for three months and after that he proposed me . We have age gap of 6 years. I am older than him but I told him everything about me since day 1. He had no Issues with that. Our relationship was really good until his mom came from India to visit him. He lost his father after we knew each other as friends for 2 months . He said now you are the only one for me and I won’t let you go in any circumstance. He once told his mother about our relationship over the phone and his mom disagreed saying don’t think about this now and it’s not possible you are too young. Now she is in USA for two months and completely refusing our relationship saying my boy is younger one and his maturity leveled are not developed and we lost his father and you are older this relationship won’t be allowed in our family and this is not possible. He is 27 years old. He has 3 years older unmarried brother. His mother is very controlling and because they just have lost their father in Nov-2018 , he is supporting his mother and broke up with me saying this is not possible. It was my mistake . Go marry someone else. But mind you he was the one who convinced me for his love and supported me till May end 2019 but after that he stopped taking stand for me and I tried a lot, convinced him, begged him but he is so sure not to return to me. I have tried this no contact rule since July 1st . It’s been 20 days. One time he texted me how are you on 15th of July and I replied not bad. He didn’t replied anything else after that. Now I guess his mom is going back to India . What should I do next?
Confused

July 5, 2019 at 7:30 am

I am thinking about purchasing PRO but I don’t know if my situation applies for this site’s method. He broke it off before we have a serious relationship. We met while he was on vacation in my country, first date was trully magical, we were both so excited about it and went on a second date(also great) but then he has to go back to his country. We got a little bit intimate but didn’t have sex. After texting almost everyday and videochatting few times for a month and a half I managed to make a short trip to his country and spend 3 days on a weekend together at his place(then we got physical). We had a wonderful time together, but on the last day he told me we need to talk about something when I got back. After my return, his respnses to our interaction were not that enthusiastic as before, but he kept checking on me like he used to. When I asked him if he has time to have that talk, he was always busy, but still said he wanted to talk. After two weeks, he casually mentioned that he is planning a trip to my country later this year (but no mention of meeting up), I couldn’t take it anymore and asked him “what do you think about us”. I know it was too early so I told him that I’m not asking to define it, but want to know what he thinks. After a few days he responded, saying though he really likes me, he is happy to spend time withme, and was thinking about a serious relationship with me, he feels like he is not attracted to me enough to have a relationship, maybe because we are too different. He also said he wants to discuss it over the phone or videotalk. In response to this, I said sure to videotalk and said that I respect his feeling and not mad about his decision, but because he asked my thought and feeling, my reply was several super long texts explaining my take on the situation. My reply began with apology for dragging him in to this conversation when he is not ready and ends with thanking him for the wonderful time togerther and everything he has ever done to me, and stating that I won’t try to vanish you from my life just because our feeling are not mutual. I had no intention to change his mind with my reply (and stated it so in the texts) but it might have seem desperate because they were so long. He read them immediately, and no response for 4 days. Is he even my ex? Do I even have a chance to win him back? Should I start the no contact rule right now even before the breakup talk he wanted to have? I don’t know if your method works in my situation.
Karina

June 28, 2019 at 5:34 pm

Hello Chris, first of all thank you for sharing your knowledge.
My situation is very confusing, see my ex promised me a life together, even when he broke up with me he told me that he loves me. He didn’t give me a real reason of why he broke up with me, but I think he broke up with me because I get upset easily, like instead of getting mad at him, I would drop a tear because I will feel bad. So I think he might think I’m not happy with him. But then he told me that there isn’t a chance that we will be back together anytime soon, and also that maybe through time things change. But I don’t know if he meant it or he just said it so I won’t feel bad anymore, we met once after the breakup, just like normal friends, we didn’t talk about the break up, we just talked about life. He still messages me sometimes, but I think he’s just being a good person. I really don’t know what to do, I can’t really do the no contact month, because I get to see him in the neighbourhood sometimes. What do you think I should do? I really do miss him and love him. I will really appreciate any advice.
JoAnn

June 22, 2019 at 10:25 pm

Hi Chris. Hopefully you can help me gain insight. My bf didn’t necessarily say we were over but I take it as so because he told me that I was pissing him off and to leave him alone. Just over the past month we had been fighting a lot because he doesn’t trust me. He said that I act single. I don’t see how but last weekend a guy friend of mine who I had been confiding in regarding my relationship problems random Facebook messaged me at 1AM asking if I was single now. I know it looked so so bad to my bf. He said he is tired of me hurting him, I honestly never meant to. He told me that he still loves, cares about me, and all that but I disgust him by the things I’ve done. I never cheated on him. His last text messages were confusing. One text was like we can meet up in person to talk then he said i was pissing him off and to leave him alone. I want him back and I don’t know how to show him I’m serious about him. Please help!

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8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”