The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

JoAnn Lorraine Moreno

June 22, 2019 at 10:24 pm

Hi Chris. Hopefully you can help me gain insight. My bf didn’t necessarily say we were over but I take it as so because he told me that I was pissing him off and to leave him alone. Just over the past month we had been fighting a lot because he doesn’t trust me. He said that I act single. I don’t see how but last weekend a guy friend of mine who I had been confiding in regarding my relationship problems random Facebook messaged me at 1AM asking if I was single now. I know it looked so so bad to my bf. He said he is tired of me hurting him, I honestly never meant to. He told me that he still loves, cares about me, and all that but I disgust him by the things I’ve done. I never cheated on him. His last text messages were confusing. One text was like we can meet up in person to talk then he said i was pissing him off and to leave him alone. I want him back and I don’t know how to show him I’m serious about him. Please help!
Zyi

June 15, 2019 at 8:06 am

We didn’t really have a proper relationship. After couple of meet up, we jump into bed, too soon(in my view)as I really like him. He said he want to marry me.I was so happy yet turn out I lose control of my calm and appeared emotional and needy. We fight and he gradually lost interest on me.

And I made this move that totally wrong, I was so sad I went to sleep with another guy, thinking to get intimate with another guy could help me move on. I was wrong. I just wanted my ex and sleeping with that guy made me feel misersble.I go back to my ex again. Somehow he sensed something and I confessed. We break up again.

We been meeting up to “make love” on and off for 2 years since 2017, yet from unfriending me on Facebook, removing me from his phone contact , I stil couldn’t move on, despite I do many positive changes during countless of No Contact Rule.i still keep thinking to win him back .
He was so romantic and loving to me before things change. And sex is too amazing, that is why makes me keep wanting him back.

For him, I think he only miss the sex as everytime we meet up is only have sex. Although I want more, until the last time, I said I wanted a marriage, he just ask me to go find another guy.

I thought I have gave up on him.I met new guys ,go dating, social with friends, life is so amazing.

Until recently , I contact him again hoping to win him back another time(for godsake I dunno why after all the scolding from him to me and disrespecting me).Thinking I have grow to be more confident.Sadly, I made the mistake again falling in the booty call. I regret so much. What should I do? I keep choosing him over and over again. Although he said he dont want my love .Yet I keep going back to him.
Lily

June 11, 2019 at 7:09 am

Hi Chris,

My boyfriend of seven months broke up with me two days ago. We were really good together, we had a great complicity, friendship, we were always there for each other and like best friends. What went wrong is that I have important anxiety issues and i’ve let them get the best of me and take over our relationship. I have a lot of fears, of abandonment and such. We were constantly fighting because of this, and I believe he did his best to be patient and there for me. My anxieties were mostly caused by the fact that it took him a long time to be ready for a relationship in the beggining, plus he wasnt totally over his ex. He eventually got there but I never completely calmed down about this, until it was already too late.

Last friday we had our last fight, and he broke up with me the morning after. He said that it was too much for him, that he was not cut out for this. And he added that he doesnt feel the same way as he used to, he is exhausted, he never has time to think about himself cause our communication problems and my anxiety are always in his head. He said he still loves me but that its not the same, its broken. And that he wont change his mind, even though a part of him wishes that we could work again in the future. We broke up over the phone but he invited me to his place after, and of course I came to try and reason with him. We had sex, and it was hard. But we didnt fight, and he insisted on being friends.

And now he is texting me everyday, not a lot but to know how i’m doing, says I can talk to him whenever I want, that he wants us to stay best friends like we used to and that he wants me to “be myself” with him, text him whatever I want…But I know he doesnt really want to talk to me, like if he has a problem he will go to someone else. I think he is mostly being nice, and trying to ease the break up for himself by not losing me completely (he said that if we keep talking its easier cause it’s “more normal”).
So I dont know what to do. I’d like to try the no contact method, but I think i’ll have to tell him first. I dont know how to start that period.
I know he is the right person for me, and I want him back, it was right between us and only went wrong because of my anxieties and problems like him losing his job (two months before he break up).
Any other advice on this would be appreciated. Thank you a lot, for your help.
P

May 26, 2019 at 2:34 am

We just broke up recently and live together still. How do you do the No Contact while still living with someone?

Chris Seiter

May 26, 2019 at 3:24 pm

Hi P!

So No Contact in that circumstance becomes more of a limited No Contact approach. I discuss that and many other things in my ebooks. You might want to take a look at my Program called “EBR PRO Bundle” as it is quite comprehensive. Also, I actually wrote a book called the “No Contact Rule Book” (245 pages) that dives deep into this NC process.

Karen

May 24, 2019 at 12:36 pm

Hi Chris,

I’m stuck in between where I already have no contact, texted him after 30 days and now I don’t know how to continue the messages anymore.
Kay

April 21, 2019 at 10:20 pm

Hi Chris.
My guy and I “broke up” about a month and a half ago.
We met at a line dancing place last Sept. I liked him, so I was always trying to get his attention u know. One night we sort of talked and I taught him how to do a couple of dances, and then he came over to our table and met my friends. He and my sisters boyfriend are friends now. So we kind of slipped into liking each other and we would always dance together and sit together, and he would put his arm around me and hold my hand and stuff like that. And then on weekends our group would get together and have movie nights. So we were together for about two months and then I went with him to his family Christmas and met his mom and dad. But after that he started to withdraw a little and he would go talk to other people at dancing and would start ignoring me. Then after dancing he would stick around and talk and hug me and stuff. That made me mad that he would ignore me, and then after dancing want attention. So that kept happening, and he kept pulling further away, until finally he started dancing with another girl. In March I finally called him and told him to tell me what was happening. He said he didn’t know what he wanted, and that it’s not me it’s him. And when I asked him if he wanted to be done, he kept saying “I don’t know”.
So after that he’s pretty much ignored me and went after tons of other girls, and I can’t stand witnessing it.
I don’t know what to do. How can I do no contact if I see him once a week at dancing? I would prefer not to quit line Dancing, because that is my source of happiness. Please help me!
I’m sorry this is so long, it’s not exactly a comment.
Cecilia

April 12, 2019 at 11:04 pm

I don’t know what to do. I met this guy. Stayed the night with him since DAY ONE. Five and a half years. It was an extremely rough relationship. Started fighting after six months. I couldn’t forgive him for all the bad things he had done to us. Lie after lie after lie. He went away for six months best the end of our relationship and we talked on the phone every single day. When he came back home, we both said that we would do whatever it takes to make things work for good. No arguing, etc. I couldn’t let go of the past and I started arguing with him about EVERYTHING. Especially if he even looked at another woman. Things got really really bad at the end. I started treating him like crap and didn’t care how I talked to him. After we broke up we still talked almost every day. He would still come over and be with me. But, I kept messing things up. I still would start arguments because I was afraid that he was putting other women above me. He’s dating one of our co workers now. And he moved in with her too. We’ve officially been separated for six and a half months now. He officially started dating her after I snapped at him one last time back in the beginning of February. I don’t feel the same tension that I did. I don’t feel the same hate anymore. I love him so much and I want him back. I got upset with him in the beginning of March and he teared up and told me that “I wanted it to be YOU!!!” But, he’s with this new chick. And he said that it’s a new relationship. How do I get him back? I know he loves me. I know it to be true. We all three work together but rarely do I see her anymore. Please, help me. I did the no contact rule for 30 days. April 2nd, before leaving work I apologized for being so selfish during the breakup and told him that I it makes me so happy to see him happy. He sincerely said “Thank you”. After he was shocked that is. After that day, we started having more laughs at work. Then I text him something funny the other day after we got off work and he responded “lol”. I haven’t heard from him since. I’m worried that he’s too happy and comfortable in his new relationship that I won’t be able to get him back into my personal life again. What am I to do?
Ayda

April 5, 2019 at 11:30 pm

hi again chris ive finished my nc period and
you said i should look for some texts to see were my relationship stands but i still feel i need time
cuz i was hurt and i still am even though i want my relationship back
so my question is here if i don’t contact him just cuz I’m not ready will destroy my hole plan and he will move on or is there any way
hope you help me with this
thanks:)
Emma

March 11, 2019 at 2:40 pm

Hi there! Me and my ex is still 23 years old.

My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday, we´ve been on and off for nearly three years now. We got in a serious relationship last september again BUT i´ve been having problems on letting the past between us go, i feel like me still being sad about things we did towards eachother made me hold back alot of feelings and showing feelings. This has been an issue for him much of the time we spent together, he told me multiple times that he had to see a change in that or else he can´t be with me, he didn´t felt that much love from me even if i really loved him. Each time he nearly broke up with me because he didn´t see a change, i always said that i will change and show more emotions. I really thought i would change but it was harder than i thought. He nearly broke up with me multiple times, but stayed everytime i promised change because he had such strong feelings towards me. Alot of things made me hold back feelings, my own securities, things we did in the past to eachother that was really bad and that my family don´t like him anymore because of things he did.
I got desperate yesterday and said i will change AGAIN, this time is gonna be different and blahblah. But i confessed about why i didn´t change in the relationship, i didn´t take his words seriously when he nearly broke up and that i know my faults, what i can work on and i know it was wrong that i grieved our past when i was with him, it´s not wrong to grieve, but it affected me so much that i got stuck in overthinking that instead of working on the relationship. He wrote to me today ” my feelings got a little less stronger each time you promised me change and i didn´t see any, i gave you so many chances just because i´ve never felt this way before and i really wanted to be with you, if i only saw A LITTLE change i know my feelings would be as strong as they´ve always been” So he wanted to be with me but he couldn´t stand to give any more chances.

Do you think i have any chance of getting him back? I know what i have to work on to be in a long lasting relationship, i will get more confident and just work on the things i made wrong in the relationship!

Chris Seiter

March 11, 2019 at 9:46 pm

Hi Emma….yes, definitely a chance. You just need to have a sensible ex recovery plan to optimize your chances. Take a look at my comprehensive Program, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it serves as an excellent Companion Guide thru all of this.

Sasha

March 7, 2019 at 2:24 am

Hi Chris
So my situation is a bit complicated. I was in this relationship for 3 years and 7 months. I broke up with him 8 months ago because I just couldn’t do it anymore. We were both hurting each other. After the break up we were always contacting each other. We tried to get back together multiple times, we talked about our new relationships and he seems to love the new girl. I spent a week at his house and I got pregnant. Now I’m four months pregnant and he knows because I told him. It’s now been about 9 months since the break up and I’m trying to get back with him. Lately we talk alot mostly about the baby and me trying to get him back. But he has no trust in me and says he can’t trust me ever again. What do you think?
Sharmaine

February 8, 2019 at 8:13 am

Hello.

My ex-boyfriend and I have been together for a year and two months. Recently he told me that he is conflicted over him wanting to be with men and wanting to be with me. We spent all our time together and he always took care of me and wrote me sweet cards during our relationship. He told me he was struggling with reaching out to other men and felt like doing so during our relationship would be hurting me. He told me that he cares for and loves me but that he needed time to find out what he wanted and that he would come back to me if he isn’t gay and things aren’t good like what we have. He also said there is nothing I did but that he feels different. He’s been in several relationships with women but I’m his first for everything. I’m 22 and he is 21 and I have had more relationships than him. He feels like he hasn’t explored everything and doesn’t know himself well enough.

When we broke up he was struggling to give me all my stuff but eventually he did and kept lots of mementos from our relationship (pictures, anything I made for him/us, gifts I got for him) and when we parted when he gave the last of my stuff, he gave me a kiss on the lips and hugged me for a very long time.

He still keeps me in contact through texts. For a while he ignored me because I made the mistake of trying to talk to him about the relationship and advised me to give him time to be alone and that I should relax for a long while. Recently, he messaged me saying that my facebook made him sad (I was going on dates and posting feelings about not believing in love anymore) and then proceeded to tell me how he isn’t feeling okay and is just managing to get through each day. He told me that he hates himself because he made people feel sad and hurt them. Then I asked him if we could hang out sometime and he said some day not today. Afterwards he went back to giving me short responses.

I’m trying to follow NC but I just wish he would be clear about he wants with me. I’m so confused.
Chris

January 23, 2019 at 9:45 pm

Hey Chris!
Your ideas seem great, but i feel like my situation may be a little different seeing as how my ex bf is different. Long story short, we had been dating for 9 months and I even lived with him for a bit when i was in between leases. We started getting into a lot of fights that came from his insecurities. He can be a bit short tempered at times as well, and one stupid fight that I caused turned into this big one. I definitely said some things that struck a nerve with him (i was pmsing at the time). So we decided to take a short break. I tried ending the break but he didnt seem ready in which i irrationally broke up with him thinking he didnt want to be with me. It was juvenile of me, I have so many regrets from it. He got mad blah blah blah, so we decided to just go back to taking a break.

A little bit about us..he has always felt i was too good for him, even though i never felt that way. His friends had even said i was too good for him and they didnt know what i saw in him. He used to think i was going to leave him as soon as i finished up this accelerated program I was in and got a job, because according to him i wouldn’t need him anymore. Which i didn’t do, because I got a job and was still fighting for our relationship. So when he said he needed more space i decided to leave the state and head home to spend time with my family for a month. During this time I was posting a lot on social media that I was having all this fun blah blah blah and making sure to look extra good in all my pictures, all so he would miss me. On all my stories he was always the first to look which made me think perfect he does still care. So, when i got back i reached out to see if he was ready and i told him how much i missed him too. It took him about 2 days to get back to me in which he said i cant do it thru text. I messaged back telling him how much i loved him blah blah and he said that i spiked his anxiety and to leave him alone. He said i never cared about him and i only ever loved him for the convenience of what he would do for me. And i was using him and he was just a butler to me. This broke me. So much. I cant even describe how Ive been feeling lately. Truth is, i think him seeing me have all that fun without him hurt him. I think he still does care. We have been a couple that has spent the majority of our relationship together or in close communication. He drunkenly called me the love of his life to his friends a few weeks before the fight happened. I haven’t been the best at talking about my feelings to him, it took me 7 months to even tell him i love him.

Sorry I know this is ridiculous and LONG. So its been a week since he dumped me, all my friends are telling me to forget him and move on. That if he wanted to be with me he would. I just cant..i even took your advice and went on a date last weekend and it only made me miss him more. I want to reach out to him now. I was thinking about leaving a voicemail directly. I want him to hear my voice and hear me explain. My friends said not to, but i think it may help if he really hears me. All our stupid fighting has been through text and I think that only makes things worse. Any advice would be great!

Once again..sorry how long this is.

Chris Seiter

January 23, 2019 at 11:48 pm

Hi Chris!

Its good to write it all out….very therapeutic. Its still quite early in the breakup period. Give NC a chance and feel free to tap into my eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it can help you more than I can here in this comment forum!

Annabella

January 22, 2019 at 11:47 am

My relationship was an open one. We had an argument and i wanted to broke up but went back after 2 days. I later took some space without telling him, its been on for about 4 months. So we didn’t break up but I’m worried he thinks so. He called first one month after the space but i didn’t pick or chat with him. Then 2 weeks later he called again and i picked, we talk for a while about nothing important but didn’t call again. Then sent Christmas and new year message which i replied but nothing else. Then 2 weeks after that i sent him birthday message and called once but he never picked or called back. But 5 days ago he called and sounded so quiet,l. The conversation was really short, i was nice and i didn’t ask to meet him either but right now I’m really worried if things will never improve. We normally use to chat on WhatsApp and i haven’t received a message from him. I don’t know if i should still keep holding on or to move on.
Pls help me out, Thank u.

Chris Seiter

January 22, 2019 at 3:29 pm

Hi Annabella!

So just take things slow, allowing for some space and time. Keep the focus on the positive. Don’t chase, allow him to come to you.

Angela

January 13, 2019 at 8:42 pm

Hey Chris! Okay my issue is abit complicated, my ex and i mate early 2016, by then I think I was the ungetable girl” he perused till I gave in, we started dating, thou he would never introduce me to his friends or family because he claimed they are racist, I am a black lady and his white, so apparently our reletionship was “private “we were happy until december 2016 he resigned from his work place and decided to go bck to his country and promised me he would try to make this work, sometimes I would get mad for not knwing Any of his relatives/ friends , but he said its beyond his control because they would disown him if they found out, so 2017 our reletionship was on and off he was not in a good place career wise, but he kept supporting me and he would get me plane tickets atleast after a month to be with him but still in private, same continued till last year July when he told me he wanted someone close to him coz he is lonely and everyone around him is dating white women so he wants to find one , like any other broken girl I tried begging and convinced him to be with him but he said we better as friends and we both need people close to us, he continued supporting me thou and we kept having sex as friends while long distance I would visit and vice versa until he started hanging around with new friends and my friend’s would see him on dating site’s like tinder trying to move on ,so I found out and we had a big fight ,he kept saying sorry, and deleted tinder but from December his ignoring me, if I don’t text he won’t say a word, so I started no contact 2 weeks now and he hasn’t reached out, I really love him I still want him in my life what should I do?

Chris Seiter

January 13, 2019 at 11:00 pm

Hi Angela!

It seems reasonable to complete No contact. Its there for you to healing and grow and also allow him to value and appreciate you more. If you have not done so already, pick up my eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” so you are fully informed.

prince

January 10, 2019 at 12:51 pm

hello

Chris Seiter

January 11, 2019 at 12:41 am

Hey there Prince…how goes it! Anything I can help you with?

Lisa

December 23, 2018 at 11:16 pm

Hey
My ex left me twice. He comes with a lot of past baggage that has caused him to have trust issues. We started out as amazing friends and developed feelings and his family loved me. Im the first healthiest relationship he has ever had. But it scared him and throughout the relationship he was inconsistent despite the good memories.
He broke up with me saying he needs to work on himself and heal. I reaches out to him and although he mentioned he misses me he still said he needs to be alone. He said he dodnt want to bring his past stuff into this new relationship. I have been his rock..nirtured and stepped up despite his baggage.
I care for him deeply and last text i saent was letting him know that im flad he is taking the time to get better and that nevertheless I miss his company and hope to meet soon on a positive note. He hasnt responded and I feel even worse… I miss him and do want him back or at least hope if he does the work on himself..he realizes what i brought to the relationship..is it too late for no contact in this situation. He is known for making rash decisions during times he is overwhlemed. This breakup however seems he has confirmed it as opposed to before he did this the first time…

Chris Seiter

December 24, 2018 at 3:40 am

Hi Lisa…yes, this could be another rash decision. Perhaps a break will be best. I think there is room here for no contact. Tap into my Program for details!

Lauren

December 12, 2018 at 3:30 am

Hello
My boyfriend just broke up with me yesterday and trying to start my NC but he doesn’t stop snapchatting me. He did say that he wants to be friends and keep in touch with me. He broke up with me because he has too much going on and need to focus on himself. (at least that’s what he said) I don’t know what to do…. and we were in long distance relationship.
Artsychick

October 27, 2018 at 4:05 pm

I dont know what to write to him! NC is almost over and he has no social media so he has no idea what I’ve been doing. He also hasn’t contacted me which is okay. I’ve jotted down tons of ideas for my first email to him but I’m very scared. Hes always suspicious of people so I dont want to sound too needy or like I’m trying to use him. He might think if I’m messaging him a month later that I want to use him…hes stubborn as hell as well.
What do you think is best for my first email to him? A good memory text? Or a question text where i ask him where he got his weed (it was really good weed and hes obsessed with weed/a hippie guy so that’s like a theme message lol) I dont want to come off needy like I said. He likes strong women.

Chris Seiter

October 28, 2018 at 4:33 am

Hi Artsychick!

Pretty cool name! You would know him best. So choose one that you think he would be most curious about. The whole idea is to just try to spark a little convo. Think little steps.

Desireen

September 9, 2018 at 11:31 am

Hi this is Desireen again … So im about to finish my No contact period but he hasn’t attempt to contact me. And I heard she’s escorting another girl.. how can I approach him?? I’m really not sure if I can approach him since I feel so shy after all the things that happened And what if the two of them end up together? Should I still reach out for him or should I wait again??.. Im really nervous that I may not get him back

Chris Seiter

September 9, 2018 at 6:54 pm

Hi again!

They won;t always contact you during NC. My program calls for you to reach out using a certain strategy. You have my eBook, right?

Desireen

August 21, 2018 at 11:25 am

Hi this is Desireen again .. thank you Chris ! Your comment actually calms me .. this site is really a great help for weak people like me Hahahaha..

btw I got stuck in this funny situation I don’t know if it’s possible but can you or your staff delete my comment stating my story ( on august 19, 2018) ? A friend of mine is suggesting this site for me and I’m too afraid that she may read my comment here she will instantly know it’s me .. Im so totally busted if that happens hahahaha pretty please help mee all of my NC plan will go to nothing if this happen cause she’s pretty close to my ex and I can’t really trust her mouth LOL..

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8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”