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Chris Seiter
August 19, 2018 at 11:48 pm
Hi Desireen. Nope…you are not crazy! You just want to figure out how to make things feel better for yourself and improve your chances. Its OK that you may have made some mistakes. He made plenty to. We all do. What matters is going forward and what you do. So its good to have an ex recovery plan, both for yourself and also doing things to optimize your chances of getting your ex back. My program is all about that. Go to my site’s home page to learn more about my ebooks, tools, resources, and many other things!
Robinn
August 14, 2018 at 8:13 am
Hi Chris and Team!
My boyfriend and I had been together for about two and a half years when we fell into another fight. We fought on and off mostly cause I wasn’t sincere at the start of our relationship. So this time round I decided to just let the break up happen. That’s when I found your site and started implementing NC.
I managed 30 days without a word.
He sent me a rebound message day five asking how I was doing. I didn’t respond. Carried on doing research and eventually bought your book Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. Its been very helpful. But my ex has put me in a bit of a predicament and I don’t know what to do now.
He’s giving me good feedback but its delayed. So I sent out my initial first text, and he responded well….. The next day. So to prevent looking desperate I waited a full day to respond. My second rapport building text he kinda ignored. So I gave it three days and tried again. I got good feedback but he ended the conversation. So I waited four more days and tried another rapport text in which I wished to redeem myself. To which I got no response. I haven’t texted him again but like. I don’t know what to do.
Any advice I would much appreciate!
Also his mum wants to meet up for coffee,, should I go?
Thanks a ton!
Rob
Chris Seiter
August 17, 2018 at 3:09 pm
Hi Robinn!
Probably best to wait several more days before you initiate anything else. And having coffee with his mum is a good idea. Be a good listener. Say only positive things about him and compliment her.
vij
August 10, 2018 at 2:01 pm
We both met through gay dating app in Feb-2018 and loved each other for 3 months and both used to express our love indirectly where my boyfriend used to like me a lot and used to chat with me daily with lot of interest and enthusiasm and use to share his pics where he goes and use to say everything. And we celebrated the first two months anniversary too . In 4th month that is in May-2018 i expressed to him directly that i love him and he said i liked you as a friend and but i could sense at that time he likes me but not expressing. Slowly he lost interest in me and but used to chat with me daily.
And after that again in 5th month i brought this love topic and he said not looking for anything serious. And after that for 1 week i didn’t use to chat with him and use to reply for his good morning and good night messages that’s it apart from did not chatted and on one day he pinged me and said you became normal and sorry for the cause.and that night he shared his party pictures.And next two days we chatted just normal and after that one day both did not chatted and next day he greeted with good morning and good night messages and after that for 2 days i didn’t replied to him. And next day i replied and he said was wondering why i was not replied to him. And after that he was normal behaved as if he has lost interest in me.
And next week in dating app i created different account and i played prank & manipulation with him for fun and got to know so many unknown things from him. And after that for one week i did not replied for his texts and call and he has unfriend me in Facebook. After few days in July first week i replied to him and said sorry for not replying to your calls and texts and also played prank and asked him to meet casually and he said i will let you know. But it did not happened. Again on 9-Jul i called him and said want to talk with you due to signal issue we couldn’t talk and He replied in whatsApp that he will call or message to me but he has not done anything so i did NC(No Contact) for 25 days and in that period i changed myself and understood so many things & mistakes what i have done.
After that i messaged him and he has seen my message immediately but didn’t replied for few days .And on friendship day i called him and wished him and we have spoken for 5-10 mins but it was good and cool.
Three days back i logged into the same dating app and he has blocked me in that app.
I want to ask him to meet casually on this weekend but don’t know how to invite him and also not sure whether he will come or not.
Only in whatsApp he did not blocked me .
Don’t know how to proceed further in getting back with him and i love him a lot and want him back in my life. Is there any chances in future where i can get back with him.
I really really require help from you. Please Please help me on this itz been almost two months we are not talking,texting and not seeing each other even though we are staying in same area and where my house and his house is 200 meters distance.
Vin
August 10, 2018 at 6:27 am
We both met through gay dating app in Feb-2018 and loved each other for 3 months and both used to express our love indirectly where my boyfriend used to like me a lot and used to chat with me daily with lot of interest and enthusiasm and use to share his pics where he goes and use to say everything. And we celebrated the first two months anniversary too . In 4th month that is in May-2018 i expressed to him directly that i love him and he said i liked you as a friend and but i could sense at that time he likes me but not expressing. Slowly he lost interest in me and but used to chat with me daily.
And after that again in 5th month i brought this love topic and he said not looking for anything serious. And after that for 1 week i didn’t use to chat with him and use to reply for his good morning and good night messages that’s it apart from did not chatted and on one day he pinged me and said you became normal and sorry for the cause.and that night he shared his party pictures.And next two days we chatted just normal and after that one day both did not chatted and next day he greeted with good morning and good night messages and after that for 2 days i didn’t replied to him. And next day i replied and he said was wondering why i was not replied to him. And after that he was normal behaved as if he has lost interest in me.
And next week in dating app i created different account and i played prank & manipulation with him for fun and got to know so many unknown things from him. And after that for one week i did not replied for his texts and call and he has unfriend me in Facebook. After few days in July first week i replied to him and said sorry for not replying to your calls and texts and also played prank and asked him to meet casually and he said i will let you know. But it did not happened. Again on 9-Jul i called him and said want to talk with you due to signal issue we couldn’t talk and He replied in whatsApp that he will call or message to me but he has not done anything so i did NC(No Contact) for 25 days and in that period i changed myself and understood so many things & mistakes what i have done.
After that i messaged him and he has seen my message immediately but didn’t replied for few days .And on friendship day i called him and wished him and we have spoken for 5-10 mins but it was good and cool.
Two days back i logged into the same dating app and he has blocked me in that app.
I want to ask him to meet casually on this weekend but don’t know how to invite him and also not sure whether he will come or not.
Only in whatsApp he did not blocked me .
Don’t know how to proceed further in getting back with him and i love him a lot and want him back in my life. Is there any chances in future where i can get back with him.
I really really require help from you Please Please help me on this itz been almost two months we are not talking,texting and not seeing each other even though we are staying in same area and where my house and his house is 200 meters distance.
Kate
July 29, 2018 at 11:05 pm
Well i’m basically after the no contact period and im texting my ex again. We shared a lot so i texted him about this show we both were watching and he relief. Since then we arenie taking but i’m the one initiating the contact (he sent me a funny video obce but that’s nothing i suppose). He told me that’s he doesnt see a future with me because i smoke and that Im too proud and irresponsible. We are both 20. So i texted him about talking and playing some video game to which he responded positively but at the same time he called his and mine friends on discord and asked then to Play with us. I was really friendly and I laughed a lot. We texted a bit and then conversation ended. We are going to a party with mutual friends on 2nd and I fear that he may be over me. I just dont know what to sat to him to make him rethink this and show him that I’ve changed. I quit smoking, i got less proud and I think I van make him happy. We shared a lot and he really was my second half and also the jest friend Ive ever had. I do love him and i care for him but i dont know excactly how to convince him that we can solve this out.
Chris Seiter
July 30, 2018 at 4:15 pm
Hi Kate!
Great job for stopping smoking. But remember, you really did it for yourself. That choice is yours for “you” and it will have positive implications for your entire life. Just go it slow. Relationships that have been injured need to be nursed back to health slowly. Look to my website Home page for resources, tools, and my eBooks to help you with the entire relationship recovery process.
Lisa
May 12, 2018 at 1:42 am
So me and my ex were together two years ago (long distance) we broke up & (we have children together also) we spoke on getting back tougher but his job took him overseas for about a year so fast forward things were seeming like err been on the right track .. we spoke on vacations, plans & etc … than after a weekend together he says he really thought about it but he don’t think we will work out because we are two different people … he never said he wasn’t in love with me but that he is vegan i’m Not & that he wants to move to a different t state in a year or two & I want to wait 3-4 (don’t want to move with no job lined up) and that he wants someone who on the same page as him (we haven’t had in depth conversations since before he left & he doesn’t realize that I now want to move sooner than later… we have kids so I know the NC rule might be hard but they have their own phones and was just like if we need to speak I can do it through them or is that unfair … my friends say it seems like he is scared of breaking up again
Chris Seiter
May 12, 2018 at 6:09 am
Hi Lisa! Maybe make use of a limited NC. My best advice is you need to gain more insight and smarts on how this whole ex recovery thing works. That is why I created an ebook called, Ex Recovery Pro. Go take a look. You can get there by way of my website’s Menu, click on the link for “Products.” Chances are, you just need a few good ideas to tap into! I don’t think this will unresolve itself in a quick way.These things seldom do. But over time, he needs to realize and appreciate your value in his life. He is seems to be waffling a bit about commitment issues, unsure what to do.
Tanisha
May 11, 2018 at 7:39 am
So basically I met someone, we got on really well, we had a connection and after a week I went to America, once I went to America, things went a bit weird. When I got back he wouldn’t meet up with me because he said he had a lot going on in his mind. Anyway after a month coming back, we met up, we slept with each other, I gave him massages and etc, things were still weird, met up again and slept with him again and now he’s kinda backed off. Like one min he’s okay and one min he’s really cold towards me. I used to ask him what’s the sketch with your ex, he used get so defensive about it. I’ve only known him since mid March but I was so fond of him and feel so down. Please can you give me advice? He hasn’t contacted me since couple of days.
Tanisha
May 11, 2018 at 3:41 pm
He basically said I seem too obsessive. What do I do? Only known him for 2 months
Chris Seiter
May 11, 2018 at 9:40 pm
I think utilizing No Contact Rule is a worthwhile effort, but remember to keep the focus on you and your recovery. Maybe something later stirs in him, giving you both another chance. But if it doesn’t…then so be it. Some things are outside our control, but by becoming the best version of yourself, you prepare yourself better to embrace the future.
Chris Seiter
May 11, 2018 at 2:53 pm
Hi Tanisha….it is unclear just how invested he is in the relationship. Perhaps one way to find out is to utilize No Contact. You should take a look at a book I wrote called, Ex Recovery Pro. In it I offer a blueprint on all the things you should consider and do. You can learn more about it in my website’s Menu Section under “Products”. It may help you with the path you should take.
Jordan
May 4, 2018 at 7:10 pm
Hey Chris! My boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me – one week ago, I have followed the no contact rule (surprisingly, I hadn’t read anything on it yet!). He ended the relationship out of the blue, we sometimes fought but it never seemed relationship ending bad (really it was petty things). He said he still loved me, otherwise breaking up wouldn’t hurt so bad. He had come late at night to tell me, we both sobbed, and I asked him to leave. The next day he came to take our cat for a spay, I went with him to drop her off and we went for a walk. I suggested a break instead, because he said he had been feeling a lot of emotions and initially taking all the blame. I expressed my side and apologized for my faults. It ended well and he even agreed to a break starting in may and lasting until June. I offered a mini date night for the day before may just to have a good time and start the break on a happy note. We went to dinner and had a good time, it was a little awkward but we stayed away from talking about the negative aspects of our struggles. I had picked him up so when I dropped him off he said he was sorry but he didn’t want a break, he wanted to breakup. He needed time to heal (from what I still wasn’t entirely sure of), and he needed “space”. Looking back the breakup was very cliche “it’s me not you” ( he said he was sorry for not communicating better and that I deserved someone who could give me what I want) but after I opened up and took responsibility for my actions, he suddenly put the blame on me! Him and my mom were close and after the breakup he confided in her and brought back issues I had never heard of FROM 6 MONTHS AGO! I have been devastated…. he did something similar( ghosted) with his last girlfriend, actually he moved to California and broke up with her over the phone after he was already gone). We had made plans to get married, we have the same career goals, he even gave me a rather expensive promise ring. I’m very lost with how to approach him after our 30 day no contact. P.S. I am very close with his family and vice versa (I even work with his sister!)…. I do plan to get your guide, but what advice can you give me for some insight into his mind, and whether our relationship has a chance of being saved?
Chris Seiter
May 4, 2018 at 9:19 pm
Hi Jordan…my Guide, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” will be very helpful as it will give you a better sense of how to spend your time in NC. With 3 years invested in the relationship, i think it likely that more Chapters are to be written.
Ceri
April 30, 2018 at 7:54 pm
Hi my boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago, for the first 2 weeks he reached out to me a few times all positive and I replied. But i spoke to him on the phone 1 week ago, in which I cried and told him how i felt and that I wanted to be with him and could make it work. He said there was nothing I could do to change his mind, he still cared for me, but didnt see a future with me, and we didn’t have enough of an emotional connection for him. I haven’t spoken to him since, I am worried as he doesnt have any social media he wont be able to see what I am up to and I don’t think he will reach out again to me. Im not sure what the best plan going forward is
Chris Seiter
April 30, 2018 at 9:07 pm
Hi Ceri. Have you picked up one of my ebooks as that is the best way to get your hands on a comprehensive blueprint on what you should do, when, why, and how and so much more? If not just go to my website Menu and click on products. You can learn more there. Meanwhile, its important you undergo some self healing and all my books, resources, and activities can teach you about that.
Kim
April 28, 2018 at 12:47 am
Hi, We broke up last February and since then I’m always texting/calling him which is wrong. My messages became delivered (Facebook) this first week of April (he’s annoyed) and I was too late to read this article.
My question is, even if I do the list of becoming the best version of myself, did he come back if his reason was “he was the who turns you down” even it’s not. And also, he said that he doesn’t love me anymore even I felt that time it’s not. Because I think, the more I’ll change for myself, the more he will no longer contact me in the future.
Thank you.
Chris Seiter
April 28, 2018 at 4:16 am
HI Kim…thanks for stopping by. As I talk about in my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, this whole focus on No Contact is just about getting him back, but its also very much about doing things for yourself in a realistic and pragmatic way so if it doesn’t work out, then you path into the future can (and will) be fulfilling. Be careful about reading too much into what guys say during and after a breakup. He may very well not know his feelings that well. He might think he does, but time has a way of telling us the truth about our relationships. To optimize your chances, take a look at some of the ebooks I have written which you can find on my website Menu/products link. Let me know how things go for you Kim!
Sara Allen
April 27, 2018 at 7:53 pm
We have been together for 5 years (we broke up once for 9 months but don’t count it because we still talked every day and hooked up….he broke up with me and then asked for me back).
In 2016 I moved to live with him and his parent’s house in another state. In February- he said he needed space, I left and we didn’t talk for 4 days. Then I stayed with his Aunt for two weeks. Back in March, he told me to come back home because he wanted things to work and was going to change so things worked. (He just stopped making time for me, acting distant, and always seemed annoyed with me) Well, nothing changed. He still acted distant toward me and not very interested in me. He does operate 3 businesses and is always busy but something changed. It was never a problem before. After a few weeks back home, things were decent. Then the week of April 10th he started acting weird again. I confronted him and he agreed that nothing changed. I asked him “well did you make an effort to change things?” he said “no” so I told him well things are not going to change unless you want them too. Long story short- he broke up with me. I had to pack my bags and MOVE TO ANOTHER STATE because I had no family around. Mind you after we broke up, he left. He has not contacted me AT ALL. He left the house and I packed my stuff. I even left him a note and has not contacted me. He is posting more than usual on Instagram, he seems fine. I’m over here devastated- I had the rug ripped out from underneath me. I need to start over- career, life in general….everything. His life wasn’t completely flipped upside down. He is the love of my life and I don’t want to lose him. He hasn’t contacted me at all. He has asked mutual friends “how is she?” and even told a mutual friend “I haven’t reached out because I don’t know what to say and I don’t want to start an argument.” I want him to call me and tell me he made a mistake.
Chris Seiter
April 28, 2018 at 4:47 am
HI Sara…sorry for your pain. You will benefit by picking up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. (go to website Menu/products link). It is very comprehensive and can cover so much more helpful information that I can here in this forum. At a minimum, I think you both needs some space and time away from each other to work on things and let the emotions subside. The key is your own self recovery and you will learn more about that and why its so important. So go take a look at some of the resources here on my site!
Rosie
April 25, 2018 at 9:02 pm
Hey Chris,
Just wanted to say I really like the ideas on your website and how they focus on making you a better you so that even if you don’t get back with your ex your life is still improved!
I’d also love your opinion,I was with someone for a few months and I really feel there was a good connection I felt something special. We met in the city I go to university at but he lives in another city. We texted and got on well there and then we met and things were just as good in person and it began from there. He’s been having a bad time in a lot of ways with family problems work etc and has been very down for months and pulled away a bit and I think because I found the distance hard and not really knowing what was going on I reacted badly and also had some problems of my own so was in a stressed frame of mind,I became needy and angry and upset with him and pushed him away more. In my opinion we weren’t seeing each other enough but I wish I’d been a bit more patient and just seen where things had gone.He’s said he only likes me so I know it’s wasnt that he didn’t have feelings but I pushed and pushed and ruined things. We’ve both said we need space but it ended in an argument.
I’m doing no contact and it’s giving me perspective and I’m working on my own emotions and self esteem and realising a lot about myself. I feel like if we both hadn’t been going through stuff and because of the distance. In a way although this is hard I see it as a blessing as it’s made me make changes mainly in the way I feel I don’t think I would have otherwise. I do want to talk to him again and I care about him but doing no contacts as much for him as it is myself. I don’t want to talk to him from a place of blame but one of giving and what I want to give is my confidence, mysetry, joy and best self and love myself completely so I can give them my best self. I really don’t want him out of my life despite what’s happened and am going to work on becoming my most attractive, happy, radiant and confident. You’ve seen so many people in this situation do you think it would be the right thing I’ve ive had and given him more space to talk to him I really want to and what would the best way of going about it?
Rosie xxx
Chris Seiter
April 25, 2018 at 10:56 pm
Hi Rosie! I love the way you talk (“I don’t want to talk to him from a place of blame but one of giving and what I want to give is my confidence, mysetry, joy and best self and love myself completely so I can give them my best self”). I couldn’t say it better myself! Make sure you have a good blueprint to work from, so if you have not picked up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, you should do so. (i.e. website Menu/Products link).. It is massive and covers so much…in so much detail. Kinda like a Companion Guide that helps you along the way and optimizes one’s chances. I think you have very good understanding of the No Contact Principle. Maybe since things ended in an arguement, you make a little exception to the NC rule and reach out just give him a heads up that you are progressing thru your own self discovery process and just wanted him to know you appreciate him recommending that the two of you take some space (even if he didn’t recommend it). So what you accomplish is a little connection so he knows that he is not far from your mind and you are working to be the best version of yourself. That may be intriguing to him and enhance “your” value in his mind.
Jordan
April 25, 2018 at 4:39 pm
Hi Chris – My boyfriend (well now ex boyfriend) of 2 years just broke up with me a week ago. He is 33, I am 25. We met on the mountain, ski coaching to be exact. He does it full time (Tuesdays – Sundays) while I only do it part time along with my full time job (November – April, 7 days a week). A co-worker of ours set us up. We had been coaching with each other for a couple of years by that point and she could just see that we were perfect for each other. I was a little hesitant at first, I had never dated someone who what that much older than me. But when I was with him, it never seemed weird or like we were at a different point in our lives. The first year was bliss, we were not living with each other at that point so we were constantly looking forward to seeing each other. There was excitement.
After one year, we moved in together. We both were ready for it. And let me say, he was the easiest and most compatible person that I have ever lived with (and I have had around 15 different roommates in 5 years). We never bickered about anything, our relationship just felt more important to me to let little things get in the way. Summer was great, we spent almost every free moment on the lake, enjoying each others time and relaxing. Once ski season started, we sunk into a routine. I did not have one day off (except for Christmas and New Years day). This did not leave a lot of “US” time. I see that now. However it would not have made much of a difference since he coaches on the weekends as well. I had never really experienced the “Honeymoon Phase” before. I have been in a couple other relationships before however those just didn’t work out for other reasons.
There were other factors. His coaching staff consisted of my father and this 26 year old girl who was a friend from my past. He and this girl have a lot in common, from activities to food to music to humor. It makes sense that they would become good friends. On their days off, they would go skiing with each other, go to the bar to apre… My ex did not know where to draw the line. One day, he tells me that he is going on a long adventure with this girl, a full day hiking/ski trip in another state. There was another guy that was joining them however that didn’t matter. My dad gave me a call and sounded concerned (he never talks to me about guy stuff). So I panicked. When he got home, I expressed my feelings that it made me uncomfortable how much time that he and this girl were spending together. I did not get the reassuring response I wanted. “It takes you thinking I am going to leave you for you to change” and “Why can’t I be friends with another girl?”. He said that things just didn’t feel the same anymore between us. I was stunned. He had turned it around on me to make me feel guilty. He said that he felt unappreciated and taken for granted all winter. He wanted more help with dinner and the dishes. And I apologized and promised to be more aware of his needs.
Throughout the month of March, my other co-workers started to bring their friendship to my attention (which didn’t help my feeling of jealousy). It even went so far as our boss (and friend) pulling him into his office to tell him that it was not ok how much of his free time he was spending with this girl and how bad it looked. In my ex’s eyes, this just made it worse. It is like when you tell a kid not to eat a piece of candy, all they want to do is to then eat the piece of candy. Now, I am not the kind of girl to tell someone who they can and cannot be friends with. But when that person is a good looking single girl who follows you around like a puppy dog and showers you with attention. Yes, that is going to bother me. Especially when she does it in front of you. And yes, it is hard to hold the jealousy back sometimes. He could see that I was uncomfortable. But really, he shouldn’t have put me in the situations in the first place. And still, he made me feel as though it was my fault that I was having these feelings…
We were doing a good job of communicating. Every once in a while we would talk before going to bed about how we were feeling. I could tell that things were not getting better. If anything, they were getting worse. I just kept saying, “look, ski season is almost over. We will have our weekends back. We can spend some quality time with each other and reconnect.” And he would nod his head and agree.
We didn’t get there. He decided he needed to go stay at his mom’s for a couple nights to clear his head. He would be back on Friday and everything would be ok. So I said, “great, if that is what you need, then do it.” Clearly two nights was not enough because I could tell that nothing had changed and he didn’t miss me. I was still determined to enjoy our first weekend off together. Maybe it would remind him of the good times we have had together.
Unfortunately, the weather was terrible. I was racking my brain as to what to do, with where we were at, we couldn’t just hang in and watch Netflix. We made pancakes for breakfast. Mountain bikes has been a topic of discussion lately so I suggested we go take a look at a local shop. Then we went to say hi to his mom who lives nearby and hung out with her for a little while. The whole time, he just acted distant. We went home and he laid down on the couch and put a blanket over his head while I got started with dinner. After a little while, he said he needed to go for a drive and that he would be back in an hour. I couldn’t believe it. What had I done to make him fall out of love with me this quickly? Then I realized it wasn’t me, it was him.
When he got back, I told him that I was going to stay the week at my parents house. That I wanted him to spend time at our apartment without me there. I could tell he was starting to feel terrible for how he was treating me. I was being incredibly patient and mature about the whole situation. That Friday night (4/20), I got back to our apartment to see him sitting on the couch. The look on his face said it all. He just couldn’t find the love any more. He cares about me but he could not reciprocate the feelings that I had for him. We talked for an hour, I said everything that I wanted to say. That I love him very much but I understand that I cannot force him to feel a certain way. I asked him why he had been bottling up his feelings of being unappreciated or taken for granted. These were two things that I could help fix and I can’t read minds. He said that he saw how busy I was this winter and didn’t want to add to my plate. Hello.. it takes two to tango.
He has been staying at his mom’s house since the breakup. Everyone who knows us cannot believe what happened. They all say “love is dead!” and “I could have sworn he was the one”…. “You two were perfect for each other” and I am with them. I did think he was the one. He is one of the most amazing, kind, generous men that I have ever met. I truly believe that he is going through a funk and an early mid-life crisis. Then there is another part of me that believes that the man that I am in love with should love me through thick and thin. And if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t deserve me.
We are still sorting out the apartment that we rent, but I am going to try NC for at least the next month and work on my Instagram presence. Do you have any other suggestions or words of wisdom? Sorry for the novel, I just figured the more details the better. Thank you in advance!
Chris Seiter
April 25, 2018 at 11:22 pm
Hi Jordan (I love our name!)…so that is quite a story. Thank you for sharing it with me. You seem like a really special girl, so I have no doubt that whatever happens, you are going to land on your feet! By the way, you are an excellent writer. Consider keeping a journal about what you are feeling and thinking as it will be a good outlet and can be very therapeutic. I do think its worth exploring this relationship further and by implementing NC, it gives you both a chance to experience some healing and find some balance and draw closer to your deepest feelings. If you haven’t already picked up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, you should because it is massive and full of ideas, tactics, strategies for how to get through a breakup and come out the other side as well as optimizing your chances. Just go to my website Menu and click on “Products” and you will find all my ebooks and other resources. Let me know things go Jordan!
Sophia
April 23, 2018 at 11:24 am
My ex ended this 1st April (nearly a month ago). I begged. After day 1 he wanted to talk. After a week he never wanted to see me again. I did NC for 4 days until my sister told him to message me (I got sexually assaulted and needed emotional support). He messaged me. He seemed off. We spoke every day. Well I went one day (a couple of times) not replying. I found out I was pregnant. I told him. He was good about it. He told me to get rid of it. I got scared. Basically I messaged him saying I can’t. We argued about me needing him and he said he doesn’t know what to do. Yesterday I said I’m bored of feeling hated. I need my friend back. He said he doesn’t hate me. I went on about feeling hated and being scared of the abortion. I asked if he could see me. He YELLED at me. I ignored him (which is what he wanted me to do all month he even said I went crazy) but 10 minutes later he messaged me back calmer and with this solution: He said I could see him (in Germany) if I get the abortion and it’ll be the last time we ever see each other and we can have a proper goodbye. I went on saying I want to see him before. It ended up him saying he did hate me. I killed the guy I dated (because I said I missed what he used to be like). I messaged him yesterday and he said I can go and see him after the abortion. I asked if he still had access to my Facebook account he said no. I said I hope he is well. Also he told someone that he couldn’t stand me earlier today. Should I initiate NC properly now? Is there any hope? Why would he start off saying he didn’t hate me and now does? Why would he double message after I ignored him when he yelled? I’m so confused please help me.
Sophia.
Chris Seiter
April 23, 2018 at 9:20 pm
Hi Sophia! I am sorry your ex is being abusive to you. You don’t deserve that. No one does. It sounds like he is being manipulative by trying to talk you into getting an abortion as a requirement to see him. The double messaging seems to be his way of trying to control you. You should consult with your family, your physician and others you trust before you do anything around an abortion. Do you really want to be with this guy? I do think No Contact would help you heal and gaining some perspective about what is important in your life.
Sophia
April 23, 2018 at 11:04 am
My ex cheated on me a few months ago. I stayed with him because I love him. I have all guy friends and a lot have fancied me and make jokes and stuff about it. My ex said he doesn’t like it and me sending them hearts. So I stopped. So clearly jealous but he knows I never liked any of them that way. He moved to Germany and things ended. Blah blah blah a lot happened and I annoyed after the break up. But he told someone that he can’t stand me. When they asked why he said I CHEATED ON HIM WHICH I NEVER DID. Why would he do this????
Chris Seiter
April 23, 2018 at 9:26 pm
I Sophia…try not to get caught up with innuendo or what he may have said to someone about you. Some guys won’t accept responsibility for their actions and will lie and deceive to cast blame on others. Now you have more insight into his behavior. I think you would benefit if you looked to join my Private Facebook Support Group. It has about 1500 women who have gone through all kinds of breakups and the support each other. I do weekly live Facebook webcasts on various topics. You can go to my website Menu/Products link to learn more about this!
eve
April 17, 2018 at 11:14 pm
I have 2 months that me and my bf broke up i try talking to him after a month or 5 weeks but we just end fighting he told me i don’t want anything with you the only thing I said I respect that and that he was mean. he being jerk this moment idk what to do
Chris Seiter
April 18, 2018 at 5:31 am
Hi Eve…that was mean of him. Give him lots of space. If you need a game plan, consider any of my ebooks as they are designed to improve your chances.
Andrea
April 15, 2018 at 9:57 am
My ex (long distance, 1 year) broke up with me 8 months ago. l did the mistake of letting myself down, begging and pleading while he wasn’t sure about me anymore. We were still in daily touch, promised to stay friends no matter what. He suffers borderline so tends to overreact, especially when he’s being ignored.
The past two months l pulled myself together as we were planning to meet up for holidays soon and maybe work things out.
I went NC 3 weeks ago, when he told me he’s having a date, was telling him l needed time to get over this… first he “understood”, the holidays were “safe”, but then he got angry at me for not replying anymore, said our friendship won’t work out, blocked me, then unblocked me a few days later…
I broke NC with a letter, telling him l just needed the space and that l still want our friendship and still wanna meet up him. No reaction. I stayed NC since then.
He does have a new girlfriend now (his short term ex).
How do l go on? I want to see him still and l really want him back – AT LEAST as a friend. Is staying NC for longer really the best thing in this case?
Would be thankful for advice.
Chris Seiter
April 18, 2018 at 4:07 am
Hi Andrea….its OK, we all make mistakes after a breakup. I don’t know anyone that has not. Are you following the plan I lay out in my ebooks? It is good to have a comprehensive blueprint to help you along. I think the best way to go on is to go forward in focusing your own healing and having a plan. He seems a little testy right now. In the No Contact Rule Book (ebook I wrote), I talk all about how the whole process works and if it is worth staying in it longer or stopping it sooner. Go check it out if you feel you can use a helpful guide!
Alex
April 10, 2018 at 2:22 am
So my ex has a new gf, would you recommend doing this while he’s with his gf? Or hoping they don’t work out and trying it then?
Chris Seiter
April 11, 2018 at 12:04 am
Give it some time. NC does that.
Alex
April 11, 2018 at 2:24 am
Sorry, what is NC?
Chris Seiter
April 11, 2018 at 2:37 am
Hello again Alex…It stand for No Contact Principle. And that involves a very sophisticated strategy that works for a lot of people if executed properly.
Nausicaa
April 8, 2018 at 10:14 am
Hi EBR team. My ex broke up with me 3 months before our wedding when everything was alredy organized… one night he came home and simply said “I love you and I don’t want to breack up but not enough to marry you” . I was furious and shocked so I kicked him out of our house. A couple of days later I sent him letter to tell him to come back home also without getting married, to try again. He reply that I needed to think about… I didn’t keep any no contact rule but I asked him to meet to talk many times. After one month I met him… at the beginning when he saw me he kissed me, but then he told me that he doesn’t feel like to stay with me that in this month separated had no feeling for me. Should I try the no contact rule now? I don’t know if there is still hope.
Chris Seiter
April 11, 2018 at 2:24 am
Hi Nausicaa. So sorry you had that experience. Yes, I think NC will be a good fit for you.I thin you would also benefit from a more directed strategy. Consider a resource I put together called Ex Recovery Pro. It is aimed at helping you in all sorts of ways. You can learn more about it by going to my Menu Section and clicking on the link for “Products”. I am guessing you will find something that fits your needs!
Steph
March 12, 2018 at 3:13 am
I was with my ex for almost two years. We broke up for the most ridiculous reason. It was out of the blue. That was about two months ago. I did all of the wrong things that one shouldn’t do after a break up but we remained friends. Talked/texted each day. We were best friends. Two and a half weeks ago he told me that he loved me. Called me hon. Kissed and hugged me. Five days later the subject of FWB came up. I told him that I won’t do that. Well the very next day, he met up with a woman that gets paid to offer her body to men. He texted me that night. Was rather cold. The next day, same series of events. Then I hadn’t heard from him for four days. So I contacted him because his birthday was coming up and I gave him some very expensive sporting event tickets. I wasn’t expecting to go. I thought that he’d take a buddy. Well he ended up taking this woman!!! I found out via social media and needless to say, I was extremely insulted and let him know immediately. His response was just humiliating. Never thought he’d say the words that he did to me. He said that he told me to let them enjoy and to move on like he said to! Those words were never spoken to me before! Just one week prior, things were just fine!!! Right after i received his text he blocked me from his phone and FB. I was devastated after this ridiculous breakup. I sensed some things going on via social media. He has no future with this woman. I wanted to spend my life with this man. I have forgiven him as it’s been two weeks and love him with all of my heart and soul. Life is to short to hold grudges against someone that you deeply love. There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for my best friend and love! I’m so confused by all of this and truly, truly do want this man back in my life! Call me crazy. But the heart feels what it feels. This is so out of character for him. Am devastated and just don’t know why he’s doing this or why he did what he did. He has a lot of bad influences around him to provoke this behavior. But things were fine. Even before he dropped the bomb on me and broke up with me! He lives across the street from me. So our paths will cross. I have cried everyday for the past two months. I want the man that I knew back!!!!