How Long Will It Take To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?- The Three Timelines

733 thoughts on “This Is How Long It Will Take To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Rebecca

May 6, 2019 at 9:18 am

So me and my ex were together for roughly 4 years and we had actually moved in together for the last 9 months of our relationship. I’ve known him for 6 years as we met at the beginning of university, and we have the same circle of friends. Our break up was very out of the blue, didn’t see it coming at all, and every single person I have spoken to has told me how shocked they were when they heard the news of our breaking up. Even his family and his closest friends had no idea it was coming.

On reflection there were things wrong towards the end, as he became moody, upset and snappy with me. I never thought our relationship was making him so unhappy and I thought all of this behaviour was because his job was making him unhappy and he wanted to leave but didn’t know where to go next. Turns out he had been internalising ALOT and he wanted to do lots of traveling which I was up for doing, but I had told him I wasn’t going to drop everything and run away with him right that second. I wanted to plan and organise the trips and didn’t want to make any impulsive decisions.

He told me that the things he wanted to do changed things for him, and thats how he lost feelings for me. He said we had become too comfortable in our flat, he felt trapped and he felt we were heading down different paths (which I agree with but only because there was poor communication on his side!)

My Ex told me it would be best for us not to contact each other for awhile to help us move on, but that was impractical in the beginning as we needed to sort out our flat and cancel bills and contact the landlord etc. When we finally finished sorting out the flat I texted him saying goodbye for awhile, and I would respect his wishes for no contact and I would let him get on with his life. The minute I texted that he came back saying he still wanted us to be friends as we were such good friends before, and had so much history between us. I shot that down as I wasn’t going to be friend zoned and I wanted him to truly understand what he had lost by breaking up with me.

I know he has gone ahead and planned 2 trips away, which means he wont be in the country for roughly 4 months. We are also coming up to the 3 month mark of our break-up but I am classing the start of last week as our official start date for no contact. I know I will see him again in the future when he is back from his travels at a friends birthday, but I am worried that by pushing him away in the way I have, cutting off contact like I have, he will take the huff and never come back to me. I also worry that while he is travelling things will change so much between us that he will grow away from me, or he will even meet someone new! I am worried the situation is too complex to fix and I have lost him forever!

Chris Seiter

May 6, 2019 at 3:31 pm

So No Contact can help in many ways, but yourself and also act as a way to get your ex to better appreciate your value. Usually its best to try something different if what you have been doing is not getting results.

Alice

May 6, 2019 at 5:35 am

Hello, my story is a confusing one so I will make things short and straight to the point. My ex broke up with me about two weeks ago, we have been together for four years. We are also long distance but we would spend a lot of time together when I went to see him. He broke up with me because I had done some things that he considered to be betrayal. The biggest thing he was hurt by was i ended up taking a coworker of mine to his house in secret for three months, then one day… I ended up going into his house and my coworker tried to kiss me. This was about 8 months ago, and I stopped talking to this coworker the whole time and my ex forgave me and we stayed together all those 8 months. Throughout the 8 months he would sometimes get upset about it again. And I guess his breaking point was when I told him that I spoke to this guy again. He says he couldn’t be in the relationship any longer remembering and feeling the pain of the betrayal. It’s been a rollercoster because at first he said it was just a break but then he really called it quits. BUT then he got back together with me after I was very drunk and upset but it didn’t last for long because he broke up with me for sure after a day (that was 2 weeks ago). And that was the last of that. It’s funny because I’ve thought of this “no contact” rule before reading it here, so I tried it with him but i kept failing at it because it’s probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And the last time I failed at it was when I was drunk again and i sent him messages telling him that he ruining my life. But since then I’ve tried to do it again, and I think it might be kind of working because he unblocked me on WhatsApp and he sent me messages, I replied though… so I guess I failed again. But after reading everything I could on this website, I will try my best to do the NO contact rule. And that includes ignoring him if he contacts me correct? I think my biggest fear is him finding someone else or forgetting about me but I read what you had to say about that. My question is: what are your thoughts? Do you think he’ll really come back? He seemed to be very sure about his decision, I begged him a lot and he even told me to stop because he knew I was trying to convince him. He said that i had to realize that everything had an end, so he seems to be done with me. He even said that he was feeling better and doing better without me. I know he still loves me, but I don’t know if he would want to try again…

Chris Seiter

May 6, 2019 at 3:33 pm

Hi Alice…its usually serves you to have an ex recovery plan. No Contact can be part of that, but its important to understand how to effectively implement it. Go pick up my EBR PRO Bundle as it can help show you the way.

erin

September 11, 2018 at 9:45 pm

My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up almost 6 months ago. After a few weeks we began talking again and it was off and on at first but then going really well. I left for a vacation and when I came back a few weeks later I became too clingy and he started to pull away. about a month ago we got in an argument bc he canceled plans and i got mad and him and he told me he sees no future together and we are not meant to be together. He said he’s taken time to think about it and we won’t work for each other but he wants me to be happy. He said that we are addicted to each other and it wasnt healthy. I freaked out and basically begged him to keep an open mind (i know)- we saw each other a few more times after that with me reaching out and being again too clingy but the last time we talked we got into an argument again and he told me I make him angry and he never wants to be back together ever again. We calmed down after talking it through and parted ways and agreed to be friends and take some time and space but after a few weeks out of the blue he unfriended me on fb/ instagram. I panicked again and called him and he told me it was making him depressed to see me on social media. We talked and he said he thinks I was trying to force him into a relationship and doesnt want me to have the wrong idea anymore- he doesnt want to be with me. I told him I wasn’t intending to do that and i was sorry and just wanted to be friends. After that conversation we are friends again on facebook but not insta (i requested him back) but he restricted his profile so I cant see anything- he can still see mine. He also wished me a happy birthday a month ago and has reached out to talk about logistics (we lived together, had a dog and bills together). Last week he came to pick up our dog which will now live with him and we had a very positive interaction- it was obvious the chemistry is still there- he kept looking me up and down, made comments on my hair and he asked a lot of questions about my life. He also talked about some bills and things we need to take care of in the future together- and said he would come back to help with a few things around the house which makes me think he still does want me in his life. I planned to start NC after that but a few days ago he texted me a question about the dog which wasn’t an emergency so i didnt respond at first. He followed up a few hours later so I gave him a short answer. Should I go back to nc? I know it will take time and patience and I have been working to be that ug girl again- i have a new job, have been getting out and starting to do much better and actually feel content right now. I’m ok with taking plenty of time and space- before I would have been panicking. I’m scared that he is actually happier without me and will realize that when he has this space and freedom (he works 70+ hour weeks and wants to focus on that). But I have a gut feeling we are meant to be together because although we used to fight a lot, we had so much love for each other. At the end of the day- even if I put in the work- his actions and words are confusing me and making me question if I should give up. What do I do? Do I have any chance in time?
Chantelle

August 19, 2018 at 9:48 am

She told me her heart would always be mine but that we are better off as friends? We were together 2 years.
Is there a chance she will change her mind?

Chris Seiter

August 19, 2018 at 11:38 pm

Two years is not easily forgotten…you both have a lot invested. Do you have my eBook or are you following an ex recovery plan to improve your chances?

Summer

May 2, 2018 at 6:52 pm

Hi there. This was so helpful for me to read, so thank you. My boyfriend broke up after 6 years. Yup, SIX years. He said it was just taking space, but we are at week 5 now. He blocked me, and family, which is a red flag in my mind. He cut all ways of communication. So in my mind, this is a breakup and not space. Because I moved to a new state for him and was all alone without family–just him. All this time i have cried endlessly wondering how he could do this after such a long relationship, in our 30s. But suddenly, i dont even want to talk to him. He hurt me so bad by doing this. Obviously i love him and care. But i wont ever try to reach out to him again. Plus, I cant. I cant help but wonder though, if he’ll ever even try. After 6 years. What do you think? We cant even communicate because theres no option there. Thank you again. Hope to hear.

Chris Seiter

May 3, 2018 at 12:07 am

Hi there Summer! Yep..6 years is a good amount of time and if most of that history has been positive, then that bodes well for the two of you as roots have been laid down and such traction doesn’t simply dissipate so easily. I am so sorry for your pain. You should look into joining my Private FAcebook Support Group Community. I have about 1500 women in it know and they all have been through various relationship experiences, hence lots of synergy. (go to my website Menu/Products link to learn more!). I think it is unusual (somewhat odd) for him to just ghost you like this. So there is more to story yet to be revealed in my view. But my sense it right now you need to focus on yourself and healing and becoming the best version of yourself. I wrote a very lengthy ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book” that walks you through all of the benefits of the No Contact Period if you implement it for yourself (never mind what he is doing). About half of the book deals with recovery tactics and things you should do for your own self recovery. That is key. Neither of know the future, but you can prepare yourself to walk down different future paths and they all can lead to fulfillment. Maybe he is not in the picture – maybe he is. But your happiness should not be dependent on him. I believe this. Let me know how it goes for you Summer!

Dee

March 13, 2018 at 2:45 pm

Are the timelines starting from the breakup or from the end of no contact? Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2018 at 1:41 pm

Hi Dee,

Starting from the break up.

Melissa

February 13, 2018 at 6:35 am

Hi amor,

I have done the no contac rule. I have been very successfull going months on end with out speaking to my ex. Before recent the last time we had spoken was in November. I actually recently reached out using a funny memeroy we both shared. I honestly did not expect a response but he was quick and gave an opening to a conversation. I declined the offer and quickly ended it. We have been apart since September 2016. We talk on and off. Mostly because of me or something happened with family and we just wanted to make sure our loved were okay. I am reaching out because I am not sure what to do. Is it to late to try?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 17, 2018 at 6:23 pm

Not really, but how much did you improve yourself in the months you were not talking to him and up to now? And how active were you in posting? Check the link below too for texting.
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Melissa

February 7, 2018 at 9:32 pm

Hi,

My name is Melissa. My ex and I have been apart for over a year. We were in a long distance relationship but would spend months on end with each other. We were engaged but shortly after he ended it. We speak very little. In most cases I am the one starting each conversation but I also end them. We both have dated new people but nothing serious on my end and from I hear neither his. We both keep tabs on each other via social media. I still love him and I do want him back but I am not sure where to start. If you could please point me into the right direction that would be much of help.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2018 at 11:53 am

Hi Melissa,

Have you done the nc rule? If yes, when did you do it and how long? And you mean until now since you’re break up last year you’re still talking?

Maria

January 26, 2018 at 4:25 pm

Awesome post!!

Patience is hard, but key. I am in the medium timeline right now and starting to reconnect. He is still very much in love with the girl he met, not the one he left. So now I am in the process of becoming the ungettable girl again. I lost her somewhere in my 3 year relationship but will definitely get her back!

Thanks for this knowledge, very much appreciated!
Girl

December 28, 2017 at 7:42 pm

Hi
Me and my ex were in a relationship fir 16 months (4months of ling distance) he broke up with me over a text 5.5 months ago first i dud the obvious thing and didn’t contact him he sent me a text but I didn’t rply then after some time (almost 30 days) i sent him a text and he replied but then he went silent i got impatient i asked for reasons as to why he brokeup with me i even begged him to comeback sent me many msgs he didn’t really replied( except a few times) i even cried we both did for almost an hour over the phone then something happened and i got upset and fought with him apologised and then went on no contact then failed again he blocked me from everywhere except from Facebook( thought i cant message him on that) its been 45 days i m still blocked not that I tried to contact him but i still think that im blocked I really don’t know if there is a chance or not but I don’t know but i still hope he’ll call someday its been so long but i still can’t let him go and move on though i know there is no to little chance of us getting back together
I can’t contact him I can’t call him I can’t do anything

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 7:58 pm

even if you’re blocked, you should be active in posting, just make them public.. How much did you improve yourself?

Franki

December 7, 2017 at 2:42 am

Hi, my ex and i have a lot of history. we dated for 2 years, then ended badly because we fought a lot. we didn’t talk for a year and a half, and then came into contact again on what would have been our anniversary. we dated for 3 months and it was amazing! we did way more than we ever did before and had a way healthier relationship and got along great. Then he told me he was confused and didn’t know what to do. he said that he loves me and doesn’t want to be with anyone but me, but that now isn’t the right time. he also told me he doenst know who he is withhout me and he needs to find himself, and that i didnt do anything wrong which he said made it harder for him because this time we never fought and were so happy. we would still talk almost everyday for the past 2 months because I had some hope he would change his mind. he finally told me he just cant be in a relationshop right now and that if we have a right time it just isnt now. I know his feelings are true but I am scared he will find someone else. I finally told him that I couldn’t talk to him anymore because I had too much hope he would snap out of whatever he needed to. we stopped talking and i never heard from him after I told him i couldn’t talk to him anymore because it hurt too much. I am scared he will find someone else. do you think he will contact me eventually? is there any point in which I should contact him? I know I didn’t do anything wrong and i don’t want to push or force anything, I just love him so much. I can’t stand the thought of not speaking to him for another year and a half. I hate not having him in my life.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 6:17 am

Hi Franki,

Check this one:
What If My Ex Boyfriend Finds Someone Better?

Franki

December 7, 2017 at 2:41 am

Hi, my ex and i have a lot of history. we dated for 2 years, then ended badly because we fought a lot. we didn’t talk for a year and a half, and then came into contact again on what would have been our anniversary. we dated for 3 months and it was amazing! we did way more than we ever did before and had a way healthier relationship and got along great. Then he told me he was confused and didn’t know what to do. he said that he loves me and doesn’t want to be with anyone but me, but that now isn’t the right time. he also told me he doenst know who he is withhout me and he needs to find himself, and that i didnt do anything wrong which he said made it harder for him because this time we never fought and were so happy. we would still talk almost everyday for the past 2 months because I had some hope he would change his mind. he finally told me he just cant be in a relationshop right now and that if we have a right time it just isnt now. I know his feelings are true but I am scared he will find someone else. I finally told him that I couldn’t talk to him anymore because I had too much hope he would snap out of whatever he needed to. we stopped talking and i never heard from him after I told him i couldn’t talk to him anymore because it hurt too much. I am scared he will find someone else. do you think he will contact me eventually? is there any point in which I should contact him? I know I didn’t do anything wrong and i don’t want to push or force anything, I just love him so much. I hate the thought of not speaking to him for another year and a half. I hate not having him in my life.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 6:17 am

Hi Franki,

Check this one:
What If My Ex Boyfriend Finds Someone Better?

Tara

November 12, 2017 at 10:53 pm

We broke up some weeks ago for multiple reasons. One of them is that he’s too busy with work and can’t commit now, he loves me, but right now he needs to focus on an important project. Plus he said he wants me to be again confident and find my way. We are so find of each other and we’ve also been living together. I even moved to the country he was living for his work to be together. So now I’m again in my country. He texts me saying that some places there remind him of when we were there together and that he thinks about me all the time. Some days ago on FaceTime we both cried when we said how special we are for each other and how much we love each other. Do you think we’ll get back together? I love him so much, but I want to act so that there are going to be chances that we get back together.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2017 at 2:07 am

Hi Tara,

Have you tried our quiz? And do you want to try the no contact rule?

Tara

November 12, 2017 at 10:48 pm

Hi, my (ex ) boyfriend and I have been living together for about 3 months after being in a long distance for almost a year. I had to move where he lives because of his job and it was a completely different continent. I had to get used to this new country and had some difficulties in diving into that new culture, habits, language as well. He started getting upset with me as I wasn’t independent since the beginning and I had a bad reaction to this as everything was very stressful for me and I needed his support, not his criticism towards me. We moved to another city and we fought again and he had already said that another fight (after other fights that actually didn’t sound like that as we were confronting our different points of view, but he’s the type wanting “unity of thought”) he left me in our new place. So I found myself alone in a city I didn’t know and where I didn’t know anyone. I went back to my country. Then I went back there but lived separately as he wanted, but things didn’t work. He started saying that he couldn’t commit to a relationship and so again I moved back to my country. We still hear from each other and we said goodbye at the airport with great fondness, we said I love yous, as we love each other a lot and have a very strong connection. I really want him back. He sends me messages mentioning the places he passes and that remind him of the times we were there together. Some days ago we both cried on FaceTime when we told each other how special we are for each other and we love each other. I told him that even if I don’t text him so often I do think of him and he said that he constantly thinks about me. Do you think we’ll get back together at some point? I want him back, I love him so much

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2017 at 2:07 am

Hi Tara,

Have you tried our quiz? And do you want to try the no contact rule?

Emerald

October 14, 2017 at 9:59 am

Urgently….

Pls help me! I am now dying coz I was so frantic and continously textes to my ex to get back with me. He said No No and he was demanding to stay seperately. I asked if I should wait, he said ”Don’t”. He has another girlfriends, I asked him is there a serious relationship so far, he said ”he doesn’t not, know yet but he will have to see”. So after all he doesn’t reply me anymore or he doesn’t call me back although he said he would call me the other day. He seriously cut me off.
Help meeeeeee….! I am dying..I love him so much, he was my first and only relationship in my life. We had been together for 14 years and 5 mnths.
Btw I haven’t really started NC rule.
72

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 14, 2017 at 10:17 am

It’s not a guarantee that it will.. The best you can do, is to focus in improving yourself and get a therapist..

Emerald

October 13, 2017 at 5:22 am

Hi Amor…
What should I do? Before I started the NC rule about a week, I had sent him a lot of msgs to reconsider to get back with me. Becoz I saw him he’s hanging out and flinging with many girls these days after the break up.SoI was very frantic and like annoying him. Now I am going to do the NC rule all over again.

Will it going to work for me? Help meeeeee

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 14, 2017 at 10:16 am

It’s not a guarantee that it will.. The best you can do, is to focus in improving yourself and get a therapist..

Emerald

October 10, 2017 at 4:43 pm

Hi Amor
Before I have implemented the NC rule, I texted to my ex that..”how r u doing?” But I deleted it but then changed my mind and sent again saying like ”I was sending a text saying how r u doing? But I accidentally deleted it, so I sent again! As if he noticed my somewhat frantic behavior, he replied that ”hey hope u r doing ok! I still pray for u..pls stay cool to be ok (show thumb emoji)” so I replied him that ” yes I am staying cool to b ok and also praying for u” then he continued to ask me about my work ”how’s ur work?” I said ”it’s ok and I will change my post at the end of this month”. So he said..”ok good good, keep that on”..
That’s all! But now I’ve decided to start the NC rule starting from today. But tbh, is there any chances that he will return to me one day according to our last conversation? How do u think? I’m quite confused whether I should consider his response and postive,netural or negative?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2017 at 9:22 am

Hi Emerald
Youe chances depend more on how much you improve yourself during and after nc while slowly building rapporr and how much you can build rapport and attraction…

Emerald

October 10, 2017 at 4:38 am

Thanks Amor…I will surely do NC rule start from today!

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 10, 2017 at 3:17 pm

You’re welcome

Emerald

October 6, 2017 at 9:06 am

Hi…we were in a great long time relationship for 14 years. now, me and my bf broke up only one mnth ago. The reason was I was a very jealous type and does not understand him. He’s busy with his working stress and home pressure.but I wouldn’t stop complaining him for not caring me so much and always blaming. Then he was so disappointed and then he started to date and sleep with other girls.but he told me that’s not actually what he wants, he wants some space..Now he told me to stop giving him pressures and he wanted to ”find his true self” so like we gonna have a one year break. I didn’t want to accept but I couldn’t stop him. Now I’m crying and desperaty want him back, now I understand he’s the one. What should I do? He doesn’t contact me anymore..

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 8, 2017 at 9:14 pm

Hi Emerald,

Are you going to do the no contact rule?

Fanny F Yang

October 3, 2017 at 10:51 pm

Reading your article cracks me up. You have a hilarious sense of humor. I’m going though a breakup and this made me smile.

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733 thoughts on “This Is How Long It Will Take To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”