How Long Will It Take To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?- The Three Timelines

733 thoughts on “This Is How Long It Will Take To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Jessica

June 23, 2016 at 12:54 am

So my boyfriend and I met last August, both in our freshman year of college. We hit it off instantly and had insane chemistry. We were around each other all of the time, he was my best friend. Well I had another guy best friend that I met before him and we were pretty close but I never really thought anything of it. Well while I was dating my ex, I started developing feelings for my other guy best friend. Once I realized that the feelings I had for my other guy best friend weren’t going to go away I broke up with my ex because I knew it was wrong to continue dating him when I had these other feelings. Then I realized I still wanted to be with him so we got back together and I cut it off with my other guy friend. That went great for a while until I started missing my other guy friend and thinking about him more so I broke up with my boyfriend again (on his birthday but I didn’t want to do it then, he told me it would hurt just the same) and talked to my other guy friend for about a month and a half. Well, I finally dissolved those feelings and realized we would never work as a couple and that I was still in love with my ex. I broke it off with my other guy friend and told my ex how I felt back in March. We spent time together and we hooked up and went out to dinner until late April, when he told me he didn’t want to start a relationship over the summer and that he didn’t love me anymore. He said he was still hurt by the whole thing and needed time to heal. So we have only talked really once this summer, and I haven’t texted him in almost a month because I went on this website and I am giving him space. But lately I’ve been so depressed, I thought time would help but it doesn’t. I miss him like crazy but it seems like he’s fine and moving on with his life. Do you think there’s any chance I can get him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 27, 2016 at 11:40 am

Hi Jessica,

Focus on being independent first.. your feelings are easily swayed, which is understandable because you’re young but this time have your own life first.. If you really love him, build yourself first and then take it slow when you’re befriending him

Angeline

June 20, 2016 at 3:23 am

Honestly speaking, I am devastated about my break up and I really do want him back for good. I’m currently experiencing the worst break up. My ex and I broke up officially on the 16th of May 2016 on our 10th month of being together. I loved him from he moment we became close and I fell harder for him everyday even when he showed me his flaws.

We both fought long and hard to keep it going but it was unbearable for him to go on any longer as I was actively putting more effort and trying to change things for the better but he was constantly busy with his work as we are both only 21. He is always coming home tired from work and barely getting any sleep everyday.

He tried to break up with me in total of 9 times and 3 times, I told him willingly that I would let him go but he came back and told me that he would try and put in more effort but that didn’t last long either. Later on we fought more and more everyday. It didn’t help us as he kept breaking promises and doesn’t notice them till I point it out.

The first two weeks of may, we decided to take a break because I don’t see how breaking up would help our situation but it was my fault for texting him to tell him where I was and was genuinely concern with where his whereabouts were. He felt that I was invading his space but the thing is he promised to tell me and said it was his priority. His words did not meet with actions.

But soon when we ended things, He said that he doesn’t know if he loves me anymore and fell out of love. He wanted space for himself to be single and said he couldn’t commit to a relationship as he couldn’t commit to his career let alone fix his relationship with his parents and felt that I was controlling him in the relationship by not letting him do what he wants to.

He told me everyday that I was his last and regardless if he is with me or not. He said that putting in effort with other girls is pointless and he gave everything with me during our relationship. But after begging, he says that I am annoying and he doesn’t see a future with me. He said he lost hope in us. He says he doesn’t want to see me and that we are already over. That there is no point in figuring out what went wrong. And that he doesn’t want to because he doesn’t want to see you and give you hope. he said that he want to live my own life as what he wants to do. He wants to focus on himself from this point onward and he doesn’t want anyone to be in my personal space. He believes that this time will be different from him and he says that he doesn’t want to lead me on. he says that he doesn’t want to be with you ever again and that he isn’t coming back. he also said that if you does see me change and that he is ready again, he won’t look in the past but he said that the feelings can’t be forced. He said that his guard is up with me.

I really love him and after the 30 day no contact rule, I feel more emotionally stable now. He is just protecting himself from getting hurt. How am I going to make him feel that he could let his guard down when I changed and realise my mistakes already?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 22, 2016 at 5:13 am

Hi Angeline,

let’s say he’s busy with work and then he sees you as an added responsibility, if he sees you today and got to know your life, will he think that you’ve got your own life and you’re just being friendly?

Vanessa

June 17, 2016 at 1:12 pm

Hello,

I’ll try to keep this short. My best friend introduced me to a guy who was going through a divorce. He had previously gone through a depression when they separated but when I met him he was in such a good place. The divorce was supposed to fl be finalized the next month after we met and my friend made him promise to only contact me if he was ready. I finally understood what people meant when they said they found the one. It was the most amazing relationships I’ve ever been in. Then one day we were on a date and he had a fall that left him with broken bones, two surgeries and bed ridden for months. On top of that the divorce got nasty and wasn’t finalized for another 5 months. One day he’s telling me how amazing I am, we’re planning a future together and how I’m the best thing to ever happen to him and then a day later he blindsides me with him freaking out and him just not talking to me. He told me in a nutshell that it has absolutely nothing to do with me but that he’s not in a good place. I’ve found out from mutual friends he’s going through a bad period of depression. We have been broken up for 5 months and have had contact almost the whole time but now it’s been almost 30 days NC. I only kept in touch because when I talked to him his depression sounded dark and scary and I was trying to support him. The relationship didn’t end because of us. I tried to get him to tell me he wasn’t in love but he kept saying no, that’s not it, he’s just in a bad place. I’ve always been able to move on but I love this man and believe he is my true love. He told me to move on because he’s not worth it nor are his troubles or life issues. He told my friend that he won’t let me wait for him because if we did get back together I would end up resenting both myself and him. It’s been 5 months. How could I be the best thing to ever happen to him and then all of a sudden it’s 5 months later and 30 days NC and he acts like I never existed. I feel duped by this man who would tear up at the thought of his love for me. Help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 18, 2016 at 4:21 pm

Hi Vanessa,

maybe because he sees everything as negative now.. did his situation improved?

Taylor

June 15, 2016 at 4:09 am

Hi,
So me and my boyfriend brokeup a week ago and i have been very sad about it i love him very much but we were only dating 6 months. I did the no contact rule for a week then contacted him uesterday and we went for a wlak and talked. I told him i miss him and still love him very much he says hes just doesnt want a relationship right now and wants to be alone to focus on his cars and building a boat. I told him that was fine but if when he came looking for a relationship i may not be here. He got sad and said he wanted to be friends and keep talking and hangout once in a while. It weird because before the breakup he was so happy and told me he loved me all the time. He has reassured me that there is no one else and just needs some time alone. I love him so much and just want us to be together. I told him yesterday too that there were already some guys trying to talk to me and he said well just ignore them or block them. And i was telling him how happy he makes me and that i can give him his time to be alone and he can call or hangout with me and text me whenever he wants too. Im not sure what to do because i do not want to let him go and he admitted to me yesterday that he has been keeping himself busy so he hasnt had much time to think about it. Yesterday was the first day he really did and while we were talking he was so upset like not crying but just seemed confused and like he was in alot of pain and i felt horrible for him. I love him so much and i feel in my heart that he is the on for me even tho we werent daying very long. I also feel like something is telling me to hold on and not try and forget about him and move on yet. Like i said the breakup came out of the blue and i know he cares about me and loves me. What should i do please help?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 9:47 pm

Hi Taylor,

you have to find what makes you happy apart from him.. because if you make your world revolve around him and then you become a responsibility for him, not a partner.. it should be equal.. A relationship is not a healthy one if you just want to feel the feeling of being loved..because anybody can give that feeling, it can be faked too.. but not everybody has the same values as you do.. A relationship is a choice. Once it becomes a necessity to feel loved that’s not true love anymore

Andyy

June 14, 2016 at 3:55 pm

Hey, I have had a cycle of events for nearly two years. I met my ex when we were studying for HSC we became madly in love….. but after a while things started to catch up with him family, work, and financial stresses, he also lost his license got a court order which was removed (during schoolies)- after all this he was diagnosed with severe depression. he didn’t want any of his family knowing and I was the only one who had known so I was trying my best to keep him happy and active as he would be very introverted and isolated.
Things would be going very well and the week after he would either say we cant see each other anymore or to end things. This happened repeatedly. I felt as though it was emotions of a yo-yo. We both loved each other so much. we were considering being in a serious relationship.
Skipping a few situations now- he eventually wanted to just lose the commitment from the relationship until he was ready because of all the demands put on him ad out of his control. and I loved him so really id do anything for him. but I then started feeling really down and we would fight a lot which would make things so much worse.
After a while of these issues I became pregnant and we were fighting at first he didn’t believe me he was going on holidays for a few days when I was getting tested and I felt as though he really didn’t care. at all.

I ended up having a miscarriage. And since then I haven’t been the same. We tried to get back together but he always puts a stop to it.

We have now currently blocked all forms of communication. he however emails me, calls with another phone on private call to tell me he still cares about me but cant be in a relationship. then when I say something he snaps and says that he will never want to be with me again.

I feel so low within myself. and I don’t know how but I really ultimately want to be with him its just everything is so fresh and he knows I want a relationship which is something he cannot give as yet.
I just want to know how to overcome all of this and be the happy self I used to be.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 5:35 pm

Hi Andy,

You need to follow the steps in this posts:
The ungettable girl
Does having your own life help you get your ex back?

Natalie

June 6, 2016 at 11:26 am

Hello, it’s Natalie again.
I spoke to him 4 days after he broke up with me since he continued to text me but I didn’t reply as I’m TRYING to follow the no contact rule. TRYING. So we spoke for a really long time. It started really cold. He was being very mean to me. I couldn’t believe this was all I meant to him after all I’ve done and sacrificed for him. It felt like he didn’t value me and as I mentioned previously, the flirty text messages… After 3 years… Yes, the reason he gave me was ” I’m sorry I flirted with her. I just took you for granted, I thought you’d stay with me through anything. I’m sorry” but i still took him back and loved him the same and he took care of me too.
Back to the long conversation we had, after awhile of him being cold. I started telling him that so many things reminded me of him and he said the same. We shared a fee laughs about some things and he continued to say… I don’t know, in 4 days I can’t decide if I want to come back or not. I didn’t bring up get back together at all. In fact, I said I wasn’t crying as much as I usually do. He interrupted me with ” good for you, then” but i think he cries.
I said to him “I don’t see a future with anyone else except you” he said the same. He said he still wants to marry me in future. I really don’t know whether I should hang on or let go because he seems so confused himself. He broke up with me but still wants to marry only me.
I said maybe I don’t want to marry him anymore because he’s so unsure. What if one day, he just says no I can’t marry you. I don’t want to go through the pain again.

So i read the no contact rule and it said, if your ex continues to text just let them know that you don’t want to talk for a few weeks. So i told him I just want some time alone. He started crying again. He asked how much time i needed. I said I don’t know… I respect your decision to leave after years . I need you to respect my decision of not contacting you for sometime. He agreed. I wished him a good night and asked how he felt . He said ” it just feels like you made my day, really” ( because we weren’t talking for 4 days and he finally got to talk to me) .
I said after i take my time off, I’ll talk to him. Maybe meet. We don’t have to completely leave each other’s lives to which he instantly agreed.

So my question really is, will he ever come back to me or does it seem like he will never realise my value?
What we had was real… Everyone said we were ” couple goals ” . We’ve done a lot for each other. I hope he doesn’t forget all that.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 6:28 am

Hi Natalie,

How are you now.. For a person to realize your value, it has to start from you. You have to have your standards so that the right person will stay. You should check this post out:
What really attracts an ex boyfriend to you

Natalie

June 6, 2016 at 11:06 am

I’ve been dating a guy for 7 years.
We’re both 20. The first 3 years were nice but later i saw some flirty text messages of his to a girl who hates me. I broke up with him but he cried and got me back after 2 weeks. He apologised a lot and he made our relationship beautiful and perfect for the next 3 years, few fights but nothing major. For the past year almost… He started a full time internship and doesn’t seem to have enough time for me but I’m okay with that because we’ve spoken about marriage and we wouldn’t want to see each other with anyone else. But recently he was operated and needs to stay at home. He can still meet people and do all that… He chooses to meet his friends over me( he just met them a year ago). I always wanted to be his top priority and I’ve told him a million times but he can never get his priorities straight. He went for a long drive with a girl i had a problem with and didn’t tell me before leaving. When i called that evening, he let me know. We’ve had numerous fights because of this girl. I get a little insecure. So when we had an argument about this that night, he said he couldn’t do it anymore. He doesn’t feel the same way about me. I don’t doubt the girl or him, i just wanted to be his number 1.. 🙁 . We’ve broken up a few months ago too because he said he didn’t feel the same way but he seemed confused so i talked him out of it and then we got back together. He said he’d put in all the effort and he did until he went for a drive with her. He had promised to distance himself from her gradually but he didn’t keep his word.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 6:28 am

Hi Natalie,

How are you now.. For a person to realize your value, it has to start from you. You have to have your standards so that the right person will stay. You should check this post out:
What really attracts an ex boyfriend to you

Vero

May 31, 2016 at 2:50 pm

My boyfriend and I were in a relationship for 8 months. I broke up with him for almost two weeks ago. I expected us to get back and fix everything again. I have been doing the no contact rule since the second we broke up now. I actually blocked him from all my social media for a while. What should I do next? How long this no contact rule lasts for me? And by the way, I once got back to him, so actually, I want to make it our second “get back together”. Thanks for answering.

Vero

June 1, 2016 at 3:47 am

We broke up because we argue a lot about many little things. And he was not very supportive at my future. He wants all of my time for him. I kept telling to at least support me and he always said sorry after that. But he kept repeat his habit. He was so mad when I broke up with him, and blocked me from our favorite chatting media, so I decided to do the same. Soon after that, I see that he unblocked me, but I’m still blocking him anyway. I don’t know what to do right now actually.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 11, 2016 at 7:54 am

For me you did the right thing of breaking up with him.. and because of that reason, I think it was right that you blocked him too.. he’s being controlling and he has to realize that you’re not allowing it anymore
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2016 at 9:18 pm

Hi Vero,

so, you’ve been in no contact for two weeks, and you blocked him. That means he will not be able to see your improvements easily. Why did you break up?

Heather

May 28, 2016 at 7:08 pm

Hi Chris,
I was with my boyfriend for nearly four years up until this past week when he broke things off with me. We met in college and decided to move in together after being in a relationship for a year. About a year later, he failed out of college and lost his job and I graduated college with my degree that same year and it was then that I began to see a real change in his personality as he began to question his self-worth and where he was going in his life. I did everything to make sure he knew he was supported and encouraged him that he could still achieve his goals and have a great future. I helped him get together everything he needed to get back into school, it was just up to him to show up and apply. Long story short, he didn’t. I made him a resume and helped him find a new job and that helped things some but it was a restaurant job and he often said he thought of himself as a loser because of all the above. I constantly reassured him that the only thing that matters to me was that he was striving to be the best that he can be. When we moved, we moved into a city area where there were a number of bars and towards the end of last year he had made a new group of friends/coworkers who were all single, partying people who had a number of drug and alcohol problems and subsequently he developed the same habits. Soon he stopped coming home after work and would stay out at the bars till the AM and it began a lot of fights between the two of us. I have bouts of anxiety and depression and because of this, I became incredibly anxious and depressed. There were several occasions where his health and safety were put at very serious risk and his “friends” would neglect his well being and think it hilarious that he couldn’t even walk or talk. So each time he walked out the door with them I was sit into a fit of panic attacks and constantly trying to keep in touch while he was out to make sure he was okay. Too often they would take him out, get him smashed, and then dump him off at our house thinking it hilarious or take him places without me knowing. He resorted to lying and sneaking around to try and keep me from knowing but I always found out and it caused even more fights. Towards the end of the relationship his circle of friends began to purposefully seek him out when they knew we were fighting and whisk him off to bars intentionally and he would willingly oblige to get out of the apartment away from the stress of my dissapointment and anger. I tried to communicate and work with him to understand what we can do and what I can do to help him quit drinking so much and there were periods of highs where we were doing really good but then he would be influenced by his friends and revert back to his old ways. I found out that they called me controlling, manipulative, psycho, etc. and were constantly in his ear mocking me saying he had a “mommy” and not a “girlfriend.” It finally boiled down to the point where he decided to break up with me. I was begging him to quit his job and get away from those people, trying to make him see that they were one foot in the grave and trying to take him down with them and that I wasn’t the enemy, they were. I was the one who loved him enough to believe he was better than his choices, they just wanted him on their low level because it made them feel better about themselves. He cried and cried apologizing over and over again for hurting me so much. He questioned God why, said he was lost and didn’t know where he was going in his life, he said that he’s never loved anyone like he’s loved me and he took me for granted. Everything he said to me during the break up screamed “I want to be with you” and yet, he still broke up with me. I felt like I was just another failure he was letting slip through his grasp instead of holding onto and fighting for. He clung onto me and sobbed and screamed when it was time for me to move out and say our goodbyes and he said he has to get better for himself and he can’t stand to hurt me any longer. He said even though I’ve forgiven him for everything that he’s done, he can’t forgive himself. He reassured me that he wasn’t interested in a relationship with anyone else and said that right now he can’t be in a relationship, he needs to be alone but that when he’s ready and wants a relationship he’s only going to want it with me because he loves me. He was very affectionate when I left too: petting my face, hugging me, kissing my cheek, forehead, passionately kissing me repeatedly as we said goodbye. I tried to initiate no contact but couldn’t do it because I was so worried about if he would just turn around and drown his sorrows at the bar. As far as I know, since I’ve been gone (a week) he hasn’t and has been staying away from those “friends” which gives me hope that he really is trying to change. I know he needs to get better for himself but a large part of me hopes he gets better for us to get back together too. I’m just at a loss as to what I can do to get him back. I have my own things I need to work on that he wants me to work on too–like my happiness and health. It’s just hard right now because I am hurting so badly for both of us and I hate that instead of letting me be there to support and care for him as he goes on this journey of self discovery that he’s choosing to potentially lose me, our relationship, and be alone. I’ve never cared for anyone so passionately in my entire life and he knows that. Is this a situation where I would go about your tips differently? Is NC a good idea? Has anyone else been in this situation? I’m so confused as to what I should and can do to get him back.

Heather

May 30, 2016 at 7:01 pm

Thank you for your response! When we broke up he told me that he was still here for me and that I could call or talk to him whenever I needed. I’m ashamed to admit I’ve spoken to or seen him almost every single day since we broke up a week ago. Do I initiate No Contact in this scenario? Or a limited NC where I would only respond if he’s reached out to me? I feel like I’m tip toeing a fine line because I don’t want to make a wrong move and push him to go out and party with those friends. In the past they’ve lied about me to get him to go out and party so I’m afraid their manipulate his emotions into thinking I’m not worth the effort of getting sober. So I’m weary of doing things that would incite jealousy or stress on him…
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2016 at 6:08 pm

limited contact is only for parent, co workers or school mates.. you might end up being friendzoned, if you see that the attraction is being build by doing that, it’s ok. but his decision to be sober is his decision, you staying or leaving can influence that, but if that always the solution then he really has to make a lot of growing up to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 30, 2016 at 4:28 pm

Hi Heather,

There is one thing they got right, you’re not his mom. If you want to be treated like gf, be a gf. Support him in his endeavors but if you keep reprimanding him instead of walking away when he’s being like that, you act like his mom. It’s good that you care of course but there has to be a limit, even God lets us make our mistakes. Don’t hover.

What you need to focus more now is trying to figure out what makes you happy alone. And if he goes back to doing those things, don’t talk to him yet. Call his mom or whoever family member that can look out for him, but don’t do it yourself. Let him mature on his own.

Monica

May 11, 2016 at 2:58 am

Me and my ex were together for a year and a half before we called it quits. We both were each other’s love of our lives and best friends. Things changed when a one night stand from years ago claimed she had a 6mo old daughter by him. He took on the surprise as a great father but it caused a huge riff with our relationship.. He became disconnected and depressed. He didn’t want to have a child with a stranger but he was doing the best he could juggling the situation. We, however began to argue and I was fighting for things between us to go back to normal and maintain intimacy and a close relationship. He was trying the best he could but I was unsatisfied.. I didn’t handle the situation well, I knew he didn’t cheat on me to create the child but kids were not in my agenda. The fights eventually ended our relationship in September 2015…He said he needed to be frustration free. I found out he began to talk to other girls quickly after we split. It was weird breaking up cause I was used to him in my life, so we still maintained limited contact. Until I initiated a short period of failed no contact for a few weeks.. I told him I didn’t want to be friends, he agreed shortly but maintained contacting me.. He invited me to the movies about 2 months after the split. I was confused as to what he was trying to establish, but he said he wanted to maintain not giving up on us.. In December he lost his job and started his last semester in college. I invited him to a concert for a Christmas present and he bought me a gift as well. He went out of town for the holiday but have me the key back to his apartment to feed his pets while he was gone. While I was there I saw a pic of him and a girl in his drawer. (I know I shouldn’t have looked). Things got a little rocky between us but he still maintained contact eventually and sent me pics of his daughter. I had a talk with him in January about where things were going again and he said he wanted to be with me in a relationship but he was still trynna figure things out and it wasn’t the right time between us, we needed more time to get back to a solid place. We hung out a few more times but I couldn’t help my feelings of unsatisfaction. Things were inconsistent. He didn’t look at me the same, don’t really initiate physical touch.. I felt like strictly a platonic friend. I could sense a major wall up. I suggested we take another break in January until he was ready to give this a 100%. He agreed fully. He reached back out to me on Valentine’s day. He seemed excited to here back from me, we texted all day, laughed and caught up. He told me his family asked about me and told them we were not giving up on each other. In March me told me his daughter who lives 3/hrs away was in town with him and he invited me over to see her. I hadn’t seen her since last summer. Everything was relatively good but it was still a disconnect I could tell.. We text a few times a week but no strong conversation or physical intimacy. We invite each other out on dates and he invited me to see his daughter again a few weeks ago and also church last week. His family/ mom and friends know we still date. But I feel the excitement and texts are slowly fading again I guess i am not seeing the progress how I want it. I want to be back together but he said last week in another convo that it still wants to be in a relationship with me but not now, the feeling isn’t there, and he doesn’t doesn’t want to be pressured. He is still unemployed and just graduated. I feel drained and am at a crossroad. I don’t want to give up but the situation is stressing me. I don’t know if he sincerely wants to try or if he is confused and just leading me on. It’s been almost been a year and I don’t want to I feel like I am not progressing and wasting my time. I’ve been trying to play by his rules and take it slow but I’m not satisfied. What should I do?

Monica

May 16, 2016 at 5:53 am

Me and his daughter are good, she likes me and he sees we interact well. I love her very much. He always sends me pics. So idk what else it could be or what i should?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 19, 2016 at 9:13 am

I think it’s because he knows you’re just waiting.. try to do what Chris adviced above of being the ungettable and do a little jealousy moves too by going out with other group of friends.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 15, 2016 at 1:10 am

Hi Monica,

how are you and his daughter? because that’s a big factor, if he feels you’re still not on board about him having a child, that could make him think that it’s not the right time for you and him..

A

May 10, 2016 at 2:43 am

Hi. My bf of 5-6 yrs broke up with me in Dec. No longer in love, but loved me. At the time, he was still talking to me, but being very hot and cold. We slept together, but he initiated it every time because “he cared about me.” I tried to be friends, but I’m in love with him and could not control my emotions. Too stressed. He cut contact and I continued to send open letters(emails) that were friendly, but required no response. I stopped for nearly 30 days, and tried to reconnect as friends, but no response. Hopeless?

A

May 15, 2016 at 7:13 am

I sent him an email a few days before my post here. He finally responded yesterday that we needed time before we could talk/be friends. He said I would need to accept that he would be talking to other girls, and maybe get a gf. He doesnt want to hurt me, but he misses hanging out. Then he ended it with compliments, none of which helped. I broke down. It sounded like he might be talking to someone, so why respond at all? Why say any of that? He wont talk to me until my emotions subside,but there was no mention of when he thinks we can talk. I returned everything he’s given me, saying that in order for a friendship to work, I need to start fresh so I needed to return everything that reminded me of him, for my own sake. I assured him it was not meant to hurt him. This feels definitive. Why would he want to be friends?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 15, 2016 at 9:41 am

because that’s a way to not totally burn bridges with you..
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 10, 2016 at 7:34 am

Hi A,

you stopped for 30 days, but did you change up your routine, improved yourself? if he sees your posts, does it look like you’ve moved on? If not do that first, the first contact text matters too.. compile a list of his interests and then refer to this blog post on what style you would use for a first contact again after 30 days.
What To Do If You Get The Dreaded “No Response” After No Contact
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Brandi

May 1, 2016 at 12:45 am

My ex and I have been off and on for 8 years ! Recently like 3 weeks ago we broke up , we’ve stayed together this past time for 2 years. Before we broke up I found out I was pregnant . He told me he wasn’t in love with me and more and that I make him miserable and that he isn’t happy about this baby ! He’s 37 I’m not sure if he is going thru mid life crisis or not ! I have to have contact to tell him about the baby appointments per my lawyer . But other than that I don’t contact him . We still live together but he works out of town a lot . Then when he does come home he stays somewhere . I’m just not sure if I want to do this anymore , but I do want a family !!

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 2:54 pm

Hi Brandi,

ok for now the baby is the first priority… let him be for now.. he may feel he’s not ready yet.. so just give him space and focus on not harming the baby with stress.. I think you should read this blog post too

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant

annie

April 29, 2016 at 12:01 pm

I’m lost. I followed NC for 30 days and initiated contact to neutral responses I continued following the guide and working on myself and sending a fun text every few weeks to which I would get a neutral reply or he wanted to just flirt. It’s now 5 months later I’ve made no progress. My ex saw me only as a virtual booty call and would reply only to my monthly texts only to flirt. 4 weeks ago after we exchanged some flirty texts I sent him a fun memory text and no rely. Then I waited 3 weeks until yesterday and sent him a text asking how his travel was last month and no reply. I’m afraid he’s moved on as he’s never gone silent like this before. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 10:57 am

Hi annie,

I think you should move on too.. if there is chance, that would mean you would have to give a long time of reset to really have a reset from everything..like at least a year.

Belen

April 28, 2016 at 3:27 am

After two years, my boyfriend broke up with me on December 2, 2016, saying -I love you but we’re not growing. I walked away gracefully so hurt. After 60 days no contact, I sent a friendly text, he never responded. It’s now almost 5 months of no contact. I hope to get him back, but if I don’t I can move on. We had a great relationship, I was so suprised it ended.
Esther

March 21, 2016 at 5:59 am

Hi, my boyfriend told me he couldn’t be in a relationship right know because he needed to work on himself. So he was basically telling my he needed a break. And he told me he still wanted to be close to me and that nothing would change just that he won’t have the title. But I am also confused because his ex came back in the picture and since then he started saying that his situation was complicated and didn’t really want to tell me because he said I was already going through to much. But he told me he wanted to work on himself to be better for our relationship in our future. I am really uncertain that he will come back and I really don’t know what to do because I told him I’m okay with taking a break but not being close friends in the process but I have not talked to him since I send the last message saying that. After that he waited a few days and posted a picture of his ex and him together, and I got super jealous that I I friended him from social media. I read through the article and I do understand what your saying but what if the ex of your ex came back in the picture. I mean he was with her 4 years on and off and I was only with him for 8 months. What should I do in this situation?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 21, 2016 at 11:31 am

Hi Esther,

I think it’s really because of the ex and he’s not man enough to say it.. It looks you’re also the rebound..
Have you read this blog post? It’s about that..
Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

me

March 17, 2016 at 6:40 am

hi mark. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years and 1 month. we broke up 3 days ago but it was already pretty bad for about 2 weeks because he wasn’t speaking to me much anymore and just kept saying he needed time to himself.

basically throughout the relationship, everything was fine. he loved me and I loved him and we basically spent every day together. he lives long distance for college and I went there for a year on a semester abroad and we lived together and did everything together. after the year, I moved back and then we got to long distance again. I feel as tho this might have been one of the problems. he felt as tho he had no friends anymore and that I was too controlling and with too many trust issues. he said he felt anxious all the time that I would get upset at him and we would have arguments. he said he lost his friends and got more and more depressed and that he tried to ignore it by spending more time with me but it only made him more miserable. he said he is very unhappy with his life and he wanted to be like how he was before. he said he stopped caring about anything.

for 2 weeks, he kept saying he needed time to himself and I would get really anxious and needy and kept messaging him. at last, I avoided him for 3 days but my parents messaged him and asked what was wrong and I guess that made it worse because he felt as though nobody was on his side. when I finally went to talk to him after the 3 days, he said its best to just break up with him and I said go ahead and he did it. it’s been 3 days and we haven’t spoken since.

we never really broke up before although we had a lot of arguments. he never could walk away from me and neither could I. he said our memories are too precious but this time, we haven’t spoken to each other in 3 days. he made new Facebook accounts and new Instagram accounts. I know he does care about me and our memories a lot but it seems at this moment, he really doesn’t want anything to do with me. I’m scared he might move on and be with somebody else who lives in the same city as him.

I’m not planning to contact him but I want to let him know that I’m sorry for all the times I tried to be controlling but I never intended it so that he wouldn’t have any friends. he believes that he had to stop talking to his friends because of me but that wasn’t how it was at all. he also had to stop using all social media when he was with me because he said they made him miserable because if I found anything in them, I would get upset at him. now that we have broken up, he is back to using all these again. he is going out with friends, he tells me the last time we talked (the day of the breakup) that he is trying to be happy but feels sad all the time and is tired of being blamed.

I just want to be together again and change all these bad things and try again for the better. I’m scared he might move on and forget about me. it’s also painful going through everyday without speaking to him because we used to talk from morning till night every single day. but he says he is a different person now and is depressed. what do I do? I just want us to be together again because we were so good when we were together physically and I miss him all the time. I was the first “serious” gf of his and we are both 20.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 17, 2016 at 1:41 pm

Hi Me,

Were you always angry back then? Why was he so cautious? I think he’s angry now because of the parents incident but give it time, he’ll cool down.. Continue nc too..he probably needs that to take a breather..he sounds like he’s lonely..he has to learn to regain friends and maintain them of you ever get back together

Davina

March 13, 2016 at 11:07 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me five days ago. We’ve known each other for nearly two years, and we started dating in October of 2015. We dated for four months, until now. Because we’re still in high school and his last relationship ended badly, he wanted to keep our relationship a secret for a while. I agreed, but never thought it would last the span of four months. We came out as a couple accidentally last week, and it was chaos. There was already drama happening at school among our friends, and with out relationship, as we were getting into more fights. I felt like he didn’t care about me as much as he did his friends, and he would put them above me repeatedly. We also fought because I wanted people to know we were dating, but he always said “not yet”. We were completely in love, but I felt like we were drifting away from each other as the drama increased. I kept trying to be a good girlfriend and be there for him, but he started to become distant two weeks ago. He had come over two Saturdays ago, and we hung out and everything was fine. We kissed and he said he loved me, like usual. Then, as the week progressed, he stopped talking to me as much, after everything blew up at school and everyone found out that we were dating. He ignored my texts and calls, and made excuses for not wanting to hang out with me. Then, last Tuesday, he broke up with me. He said that “our personalities clash” and “we have some fundamental things that we don’t agree on, and it wouldn’t work out in the long run.” I was completely devastated. He gave me a hug, and began to sob, as I cried. He had said that if I wanted to try having a relationship with him again in college, he would be willing. Since he’s a year ahead of me, we had planned to just be in a long distance relationship for my senior year next year. I asked him if he would still wait for me next year, and he said “we’ll see.” And that was it. He has one best friend thay is a girl who is romantically interested in him, and doesn’t like me. I’m nearly positive that she pressured him into breaking up with me, but I can’t be sure. He hasn’t really spoken to me over text since then, but in person he’s talked to me and hugged me and has been checking up on me. I miss him a lot and really want him back. Is there a possibility that he’ll come back to me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 8:07 am

Hi Davina,

His previous relationship shouldn’t be a reason to hide yours..actually no relationship should be hidden coz that plainly means there’s something wrong with the relationship itself… even if there’s a possibility of him coming back, you shouldn’t be if he’s not willing to stand up for you…

Crystal

February 27, 2016 at 12:24 pm

My ex broke up with me three weeks ago this coming Monday because I wasn’t honest with him about things like my real name where my family lived and military status +(ROTC cadet) he told me he still loves me we are cool but he is done with the relationship. We’ve been living together for seven months before the break up and it has been a tough three weeks I did sit him down given my sincere apologies and explanations to why I lied he accepted it and thanked me but our relationship is dead. I will be moving back to my hometown tomorrow he decided to leave the house for the weekend saying I just can’t be here while you move. He gave me two long embraces and said please take good care of yourself. I know our old relationship is dead and I have taken responsibility for my share and it’s demise I have been working on my self esteem and promising to always being completely honest so one day I can own the heart of my ex again more importantly becoming a better person. I can completely start my 30 day no contact today is it even possible to ever gain his trust again to build a new relationship with my ex?

Lisa

February 29, 2016 at 5:44 pm

So just give up?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2016 at 1:26 pm

To be frank what I see is you have to stop for a while.. so he would see that this time you are not being friends with benefits for him.. but if you can, say that.. Say it in a lind of a humorous way like if he becomes too sweet, you can say, “Are you showing me the sweet side of you after 10 dates?? 😉 hahaha!” at least in that way, you’re giving him a hiny
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 28, 2016 at 5:25 am

Hi Crystal,

It will take more than 30 days to gain his trust bacj.. you can do that to give him space to think but the works starts after that.. You have to be patient and completely honest to try to gain his trust.. you can’t rush it. and if ever he’s willing to be friends.. you have to introduce him to your family..

Lisa

February 22, 2016 at 1:44 am

Hi Chris,

My boyfriend and I dated last year for 5 months. We really liked each other and had fun but it ended as I had just gotten out of a 6 year relationship and I was stuck in a bad work situation and needed to find a new job and I wasn’t in a place where I could give the commitment he needed and attention to the relationship as I was trying to get things back on track. Although I didn’t want it to end it, I understood. I purchased your guide and followed the NC process and after 90days he was back and we jumped into a relationship-maybe too quickly-as now I was just starting my dream job and it required a lot of focus and was very stressful—we didn’t fix the communication issues and he felt I was too focused at work and after only 2 months we were done-again. It’s been three months (during that time I followed NC for 30 days and then he reached out via texting. We saw each other a few times and made the mistake of spending the night (not a good idea at all I know). I went NC for a month after the last time we saw each other and reached out last week with a fun text and he replied right away. We then had a great text exchange going back and forth for a week but all of a sudden he went silent and didn’t reply to one of my texts. I am now re-reading your guide and any help is appreciated. Do I proceed like Ashley? now do the medium timeline? Although it’s been three months since we broke up we’ve had some communication but it’s not moving in the right direction….

Lisa

February 28, 2016 at 7:38 pm

No. He has not asked to meet.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 29, 2016 at 8:59 am

Okay.. I think you have to stop now.. He wants a booty call and he think that’s waht you want too..
Lisa

February 27, 2016 at 10:36 pm

Thanks for your reply. We last texted 3 days ago. My issue is- I’m the one who initiates the texting-he always replies within a minute or so but the conversation goes very intimate and there’s no discussion other than that. Then I usually wait and initiate another text a few days later. However, If I try to just say hello he seems quite indifferent and he moves the conversation back to a flirty short conversation. How do I move this into a conversation about us? I made the mistake of sleeping with him over a month ago so now it seems that’s all he’s interested in….
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 28, 2016 at 2:39 pm

I’m afraid you’re right… has he ever asked to meet?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2016 at 8:54 am

Hi Lisa,

how many days has it been since his last text? And also, what were you talking about? But also you did nc for many times, so I think you know hiw texting phase works right?

risa

February 21, 2016 at 3:22 am

So if i were to shoot for the medium timeline, how would one go about NC? The usual 30 days or longer?

risa

February 21, 2016 at 6:19 pm

since i begged i think i need to go for the full 30 dAys, but since it takes months to get an ex back should you do nc multiple times?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 22, 2016 at 11:39 am

nope…
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2016 at 2:17 pm

If it’s really short..go for 21 days

« Previous 1 … 4 5 6 7 8 … 13 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

733 thoughts on “This Is How Long It Will Take To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”