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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Post categories
James
November 25, 2013 at 8:45 pm
I like this website! I have a question:
So in this situation I am the guy whose gf asked for space from me about 3 weeks ago. I went on a blubbering and needy idiot spree one day last week until I decided to give up all forms of social media in order to heal a little faster. Does the 30 day rule apply to me as well, or just her? I haven’t heard anything though I do hope she is well. Thanks in advance!
admin
November 26, 2013 at 6:54 pm
Yup gotta say it does.
Tina
November 25, 2013 at 2:50 pm
Hi Chris,
My ex dumped me about 2 months ago, saying he was too busy to be a good boyfriend and just wanted to be friends. Halfway through no contact, he texted me, saying he missed me and wanted to hang out (as friends, I think). I got angry and sent him a text back that basically said “how dare you expect to be friends right now” although not in this exact words. He never responded, obviously (I mean, who would? Ha.)
Anyway, a month after that, I contacted him again, just a short text, and he responded with an exceedingly long text, basically responding to mine and telling me how busy he’s been since the break up. I sent another friendly text back, but he never responded. Not sure where I should go from here, and if hat log text might of been his way of saying his life is better off?
admin
November 25, 2013 at 8:47 pm
Have you tried NC yet?
Tina
November 26, 2013 at 1:19 pm
Yeah, I did a month of NC after I sent him the first text. Should I try it again?
admin
November 26, 2013 at 8:22 pm
I think so.
Olen
November 23, 2013 at 2:30 am
Hi.. I’v been reading those comments made by others and thise were so motivating.. My story is that we broke up 1 yr and 9 months ago.. And he got a new girlfriend days after d break up until now..I had no contact with him within that tym and had a news blockout about him.. Until few days ago, he contacted me again thru his cousin who called me and had him talked to me… The convo went well.. And we became friends.. But one thing was, he wanted to meet me up to say sorry personally.. And he also asked for my contact number and now, he’s texting me most of the time in a day.. SO HOW AM I GOING TO RESPOND ON THIS? He has a girlfirend alrdy.. I dont want to cause a fight between them..
admin
November 23, 2013 at 7:41 pm
Well, why would it cause a fight? You are just talkign to your ex?
Nancy
November 19, 2013 at 6:29 pm
Ok my ex contacted me again. twice ib twelve days. he asked me a question that I felt I should answer. but I kept it completely brief and casual. is this good?
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:12 pm
That is good!
Nancy
November 21, 2013 at 3:14 pm
So went to Zumba last night he totally walked by within the first 10 minutes!
Anyone new to this buy Chris’s guide. I wasted money ob other ones. they never reply back yo you or give you any personal help.
I think this is going really well for me.
Thanks Chris!
admin
November 21, 2013 at 8:21 pm
SWEET! It’s like an on site promotion.
Keep on keeping on Nancy.
Corinna
November 18, 2013 at 6:35 am
Hi there, what should I do if I live with my ex under the same roof but he is seeing someone else at the moment?? I have read your article and I still want him back but not quite sure what to do now because we live in the same house.Any thoughts??
admin
November 18, 2013 at 6:55 pm
Treat him like a respectful roommate would.
Grace
November 16, 2013 at 10:37 am
Ok, the 30 days thing? I’ve even done more than 30 months! 6 years to be exact. But recently I’ve started thinking of him a lot more than I normally would, so I contacted him. I was really cordial and we chatted like we did back when we were friends (before we got together). I realised he still remembers little details of what I told him and have a hunch that he still have feelings for me. I am starting to miss him more now.. however, I don’t think we’d be getting back together. Is it wise to contact him just as a friend who cares? Will it do more harm than good?
admin
November 16, 2013 at 10:18 pm
I don’t see the harm except maybe being put in FWB territory.
KB
November 12, 2013 at 10:31 am
Hi.
So I sent my first text to my ex 3 days ago and got a positive response! After no contact for 4 months (yes I really didn’t contact him and neither did he). I was surprised that he actually replied. As soon as I got his text I ended the conversation. Tonight I sent him another text and got another positive response instead this time it went a little bit longer. Of course I ended this conversation too. When texting him I felt that he was trying to rub in how much fun he had whilst he was away. What does this mean?
His texts were longer than usual and replied fairly quickly too. Do I wait another two days to strike up another conversation? Or move onto the next level of texting?
Thanks Chris!
admin
November 12, 2013 at 7:30 pm
Yup 2 days and move on the the next level.
KB
November 12, 2013 at 9:36 pm
Thanks Chris. Much appreciated.
It just seemed like bit of a pissing contest lol. Is that a bad thing?
Do you think I’m ready for the next level?
admin
November 13, 2013 at 6:51 pm
Its not great hahahaha.
But I think you are read for level 2
Morgan
November 12, 2013 at 12:50 am
Hey Chris,
My 30 days no contact period is almost up, but I have a little problem. When he started dating his new girlfriend I got blocked from everything… Facebook, texting, calling, facetiming, and instagram. How would you suggest I go about this. (Tho I’m pretty sure I’m not blocked from twitter, yet)
admin
November 12, 2013 at 6:51 pm
Do you have an email?
Liene
November 8, 2013 at 11:43 pm
I like your articles and love your careful way to respond. I hope you can give me an advice.
I and my ex live in diffrent contries. We had a big and crazy love, he thought I was “the one” and I did, the same. But maybe that’s why we both are jelous crazily. I hurted him so much and he did, too. We broked up about…20 times durring in 1 year and then went back, but of course the perfect love is not there any more. The main reason is I saw he had an innocent flirt with a girl who lives in his city, their relationship just hurt me too much. He said he doesn’t love her and I am not reasonable and he can’t stand of that. The last time, we had a “complicated relationship” that he said he doesn’t love me any more but then, he… spent more than 10 hours/ day on skype with me, and we… had “it”. He said I am the only woman in the world can make drive him crazy like that, but he still didn’t act like a lover but only a “partner”. Then, I saw a photo of him and her in his FB, and I broked up with him. He said he is tired and wants I keep my word (he said it in a rude way as he does every time he is angry). I used your NC rule (almost 3 months – from 15 August). 2 months ago, I texted him that I wanted we return rings and letters to each other, he said he could if I really want but he doesn’t want that. When I did that, I was honest, but then, I don’t want to loose the last things from our relationship then I stop to ask things back and I said nothing. Now I am going to go to his country for my bussiness. I am confused that should I contact him or should I accept his will and lose him for ever? (Last year he asked me “never contact him again” but then when I went to the country, he took a flight to see me again. But I am not sure about this time because in 1 hand, I know I am still in his mind and as he said, he never can love anyone else as he loved me, but in another hand, that strong love stayed in the past and he is tired and hurtful. I am very sorry that I am writing too long. Thank you very much for your respond and I appreciate it very much
admin
November 10, 2013 at 12:25 am
Can I ask you if you have read the LDR guide yet?
Sarah
November 5, 2013 at 4:46 pm
Hey Chris!
So last time my ex and I saw each other was at a party of mine. He said some really hurtful things to me and I kicked him out of my party. The next day I asked him to call me and he did. I told him I needed time to cool down my emotions because I was trying to force him to get back together with me and told him I needed a no contact time. He agreed and told me that I’m important in his life and that he doesn’t want to cut me out of his life at all…he said a couple weeks of no contact would be good for both of us and hinted at wanting me to contact him when I am ready. It has been 18 days since we talked and I think I’m finally ready to chat with him because I can feel a real change inside me…I still love him so much, but I’m actually in control of my emotions now. Should I reach out to him or should I wait the full 30 days? Neither of us have had contact at all…I was thinking of sending him a message like, “Hey I was just playing Legend of Zelda and I remembered that you called your character “assbutts” and it made me laugh out loud.”
What do you think?
admin
November 6, 2013 at 4:31 pm
I like it.
Hmm… I think I like the Zelda reference more though.
Sarah
November 12, 2013 at 2:01 am
Okay, so here’s the thing. The night I posted this, I bumped into him at a coffee shop. He was doing work with a client so he came over when he was done and kicked my foot playfully to get my attention (i was in a chair and my legs were hanging over the side of it). We chatted and laughed and his eyes were smiling at me like crazy. I showed him a pic of my halloween costume and I could tell he almost told me how good I looked in it (I looked pretty damn good 😉 ) but held himself back. After about 30 mins he said he had to go…I asked him if he wanted to get a drink and he said he had to go back and work from home (typical for his work) and I acted very zen and not phased. The next day he changed his profile picture on fb to a picture I took of him during our 2 year relationship…it was a very goofy shot that is more of a funny shot and not attractive from festival we were at a year ago. That night I messaged him and told him it was a nice picture…he responded that he always liked that one…I asked him leading questions to reminisce a bit “that was at a festival right?” kinda thing and he responded to that, but short responses…Well…friday I asked him to get coffee Sunday. He was really hesitant and said “i don’t want any emotional conversations or mix up any feelings. Because I’m more than capable of that. I’m sure you are as well. I just want to be clear.” Back story: After the breakup I broke down at my party kinda saying together or nothing ^ and he said I always force things and couldn’t just let them happen organically. So to the message, I just said i didn’t want those things either and that I just wanted to get coffee and to let me know if he wanted to..he responded and said to let him know when I was in town (we’re only 20 mins away from each other…not a big distance). I texted him Sunday and we went out for coffee…he was stand offish the first 5 mins and then suddenly we were having great conversations about “awareness” and spirituality…how I have changed and he let me talk about it without accusing me into manipulating him back into a relationship (yes he said that a couple times after we broke up)…he talked too about how he has changed. We made tons of eye contact and smiled and laughed, but no flirting what so ever. He drove past me on my way home and i gave him this big smile and he smiled really really big back. I noticed he was listening to an album I recommended to him shortly after we got done hanging out (spotify notifies these things).
How the HELL do I proceed? He has not contacted me at all since we broke up but has always responded when I reach out to him (we did do 18 days of no contact prior to the bump in). He has been diving into work working crazy hours and his friends say he seems absent…we will see each other on Wednesday at a music show at a bar…do I start with the texting routine after that or do you suggest something different? Do you think all is lost? Am I now just in the friend zone? Part of me feels that he is just testing the waters with my new found happiness and lack of depression (we broke up because for the last 4 months of us, i would react so intensely to stressors and he just couldn’t handle my depression and negativity about some stuff in my life and my job…I’ve since gotten over that. We had an amazing relationship outside of that, but he said the last 4 months made him afraid that I was like his mother bc she reacted similarly to stress when he was a kid). Kind of a weirdo situation that isn’t really talked about in your guide (i’ve read everything you have to offer).
admin
November 12, 2013 at 7:00 pm
Initially I say start with the routine I suggest.
Becky
November 2, 2013 at 7:04 pm
hey there! it’s me again!!
i am hoping to get your e-book real soon as i am saving up money to get it! (:
while i save up the money…
my ex bf texted me 3 sincere apology text messages after he blew up (after i sent him a remembering the good times text). he said he was sorry that he lost his temper, he did enjoy the times we shared tgt in hong kong, but i have to move on; he also mentioned that he had no problems meeting up for coffee,and he had a lot of smiley faces in the text messages. he also asked me ‘please let me know when you’ve received this :)’
I was not expecting those 3 apology messages. i was beginning to move on after he lost his temper.
the next day (when he expected me to reply his texts), he told me that he understood if i was angry (but i wasn’t at all) and he did not mean any harm but he was doing what he had to do by his gut feeling, he hope me for all the best and hope i will find what i am looking for. and with a few smiley faces.
Right now.. i am clueless on what to do. I have not responded to that text message too. for almost 3 weeks now. I was thinkin bout sending him this text, following up on the last messages he sent me:
“Hey kyle, no worries; i wasn’t and am not mad at you. 🙂 I was busy with assignments and helping out my mom with her business. I just wanted to tell you that you were right about the moving on part, and sometimes when things happen, they happen for a reason. Maybe this was good for the both of us. A lot of exciting things have been happening in my life lately, will love to tell you bout it sometime. Also, I wanted to thank you for everything. 🙂 And..you know what?”
WOuld this do?
would it demonstrate im not chasing him anymore? will his open lines of communication easily once again? would this trigger curiosity in him?
P.S. i feel a good feeling if i texted this message; but what do you think? 🙂
admin
November 3, 2013 at 5:06 pm
I like the message a lot. My one issue with it is that it’s too long. Find a way to shorten it a bit but still pack the same punch.
lovey
October 22, 2013 at 11:53 am
It’s me again, I have a question. Do u think if he texts within a couple weeks it’s not ok to answer cuz wat if he just gives up then starts ignoring you? Ha
admin
October 23, 2013 at 7:46 pm
Yup I think it is ok.
C.russe
October 20, 2013 at 3:35 pm
Hi! I need some advice from you if possible:) my ex is making contact again. He always does this every time he breaks up with his girlfriend. This girlfriend was his rebound because a few days after my ex and I broke up he was with her. So my question is, what is the best way to handle this situation.
admin
October 20, 2013 at 9:10 pm
Well, the best way I think is for you to go NC, become the UG and then reinitiate contact.
Patience in your case is also really important.
C.russe
October 20, 2013 at 9:51 pm
He called me two weeks ago but I never picked up. Then last week he texted me and I didn’t respond. A couple of days later I get another text from him asking about school and how I’m doing. I responded to that text but I’ve been keeping it short. So that was a total of 3 weeks of me ignoring him. Do you think I should still do NC still?
admin
October 22, 2013 at 12:57 am
Finish out your extra week and then you can start!
Jasmine
October 17, 2013 at 7:57 pm
About three years ago my boyfriend and I broke up. We knew each other and were close friends for about three years before we dated. After we broke up, I dumped him, we held little or no contact. Two years later he started talking to me first in person. I responded kindly and we engaged in small talk. He flirted with me and things were good. But then I moved and we lost contact for about a year. Then I moved back and we happened to see each other around but we ignored each others. And finally, me and a friend happened to meet up and he wouldn’t even look at me, say hi, or even say bye. And when my friend asked him why he ignored me his response was “because I don’t like her and she ignored me too”. I built up enough courage to text him and ask how he was doing. Then I acknowledged how I felt that we were on bad terms. He asked How? I told him because we ignored each other and he agreed that we were. Then I asked him about what he said about not liking me. He said he misunderstood and thought the question was if he liked me as more than a friend. We started to talk about things and he said he wanted to go to this event and I said me and a couple of friends are going and that he should come, but he never responded. I thought it was because it was late and he fell asleep. After all it was taking him longer to respond to each text. So I waited two days to see if he would text me back. He didn’t. So I texted him and asked him, “What’s up’? he responded. And I asked him if I could ask him a question. “He responded to that very quickly saying “sure” and I asked if he wanted to be friends or not because I don’t want to be bothering him or wasting my time. he said “Yeah your not bothering me”. And then two texts later he seemed more entitled to talk but then he stopped responding. Three hours later I asked him if he remembered this time, and he responded saying sorry for the late text, he was playing a video game. I said “Its alright. It doesnt bother me. I was just thinking of old times.” After that he didn’t respond. The next day I asked him if He talked to so and so about that even he wanted to go to before. He said “nooo I dont have her number” I said “Ohh okay. If you want to go give me a holler, Bye.” He never responded. It has been four days now without contact and I’m not sure if he is avoiding the hangout question or not. Should I stop texting him? What should I do?
admin
October 18, 2013 at 6:06 pm
Yea at this pint I would stop contact and it does seem like he is avoiding the hangout qeustion.
Jasmine
October 18, 2013 at 8:51 pm
I texted him again and he actually asked me questions as if he was interested. I dont know if it was because I complimented him, but he was laughing at my jokes. But again, I’ve been the last one to text, he stop texting all of a sudden. So should I still stop trying to be his friend and move on?
admin
October 19, 2013 at 7:52 pm
Well, if you want to move on then you probably should but if you want to get him back you need to do other things.
Unfortunately, I can’t tell you which one you need to do that is a decsision you need to come up with on your own.
Jasmine
October 22, 2013 at 3:48 am
I want him back, but I do not know what to do.
HeartB
October 14, 2013 at 12:26 am
Hello,
My boyfriend and I have been living together for a little over a year. He broke it off yesterday saying that he couldn’t continue to be with me because of our large communication issues. He moved out. This of course left me very emotional and I feel as if he is making a big mistake because there is a lot to save. I have not contacted him today, and plan on doing the NC rule. However I know within the next few days he will return to get the rest of his things, so I’m not sure how I should react to him then or what to do. I definitely want him back and fear if I wait too long he will forget what wbuilt. Being that he is on the lease, there has to be some contact. How ca I get him back in order to work on a new beginning? Will NC even work due to the living arrangements? I still can’t believe this happened. Just 2 days ago everything was great and a breakup was nowhere in the forecast.
admin
October 15, 2013 at 1:35 am
You may have to do some sort of limited contact thing if you are living with him still.
A
October 6, 2013 at 12:43 pm
Hi Chris
I kinda got back together with my ex. We hang out and do everything again like we were together. He is also more sweet towards me, But when i ask him where we stand. He says he doesn’t know. I have told him i dont want to be friends with benefits and if i have chance on something more i will keep trying with him untill he is ready and certain. He replied ok i know. So we also don’t tell anything to our friends, as we don’t want them to interfere or judge. he also says he doesn’t want them to think we are friend with benefits, so he doesn’t want us to be seen together, as they will think that if they knew.
But i don’t even know what we are. And if i ask him if he will be spending christmas at my parents house like every year (they don’t know we broke up) He says no i can’t. Or if i talk about the future like I miss the foodin Azia, i can’t wait to go with you next summer (like we planned when we were together) He says that won’t happen, that is not possible.
So i get the feeling he does not want a relationship with me. Or what should i do?
admin
October 7, 2013 at 12:18 am
So, you are doing everything you did before but he hasn’t defined the relationship.
I think you need to make it clear to him that he can’t do this type of stuff with you until he commits.
(you two are sleeping together right?)
A
October 7, 2013 at 1:55 am
yes we are. How can i make it clear? I did made it clear i want a relationship again, but he only anwers with i know.
admin
October 7, 2013 at 11:28 pm
You can make it clear through action and not words haha.
abby
October 6, 2013 at 11:21 am
oh my. i think i threaten him. haha. i just did the first mistake. i contacted him, and he still don’t want to talk to me and now, i have to start the NC rules. it’s been 3 days.. btw, we will have a different college.. and i am very worried that he will make a rebound with other girl. coz the last time i log in the facebook, i saw him commented on a love page, he said that he wants to search a girl who is sincerely in love with him and he thought im not the one. and chris, if your ex used to flirt with other guy, then she change, will you come back to her? i used to flirt with other guy just to make him jealous coz he always wanted to avoid seeing me when we’re together. i am very regret with what i did coz i thought that that will make him to get closer to me. and i am wrong. deadly wrong. because this is the first time that i had a boyfriend. so, i don’t have much experience and i don’t know a lot about how to be the one. please answer the question above. i am very thankful to know that there is still someone like you who is very helpful. 🙂
admin
October 7, 2013 at 12:12 am
I would absolutely go back to her but only if I though getting back to her would benefit me in bettering my own life.
abby
October 7, 2013 at 12:48 am
so, i have to be someone who is benefit in his life? like what? good at cooking? could u give me some examples? thank you, chris 🙂
admin
October 7, 2013 at 11:25 pm
No, I mean he has to feel an incredible emotional connection with you. Benefit his life that way.
abby
October 8, 2013 at 4:22 am
Chris, is it possible to have my bf back? i’m worried.. because i’m the one who dumped him..
1)is it really takes time for him to miss me?
2)is it possible that he will text me?
3)is it possible for him to fall in love again with me after a very long NC? (still preparing myself during NCR)
4)is it possible if he likes someone and at the same time he miss me? and wondering what i’m doing?
admin
October 9, 2013 at 1:46 am
Yes it is possible. The answers to all your quesitons are found throughout this site. Just do some research or grab the E-Book.
abby
October 8, 2013 at 1:10 am
oh okay. got it. thanks, chris.
abby
October 6, 2013 at 11:28 am
veerry sorry.. its ‘NC rules again and start from the beginning’… my bad..
admin
October 7, 2013 at 12:12 am
No problem at all.
abby
October 2, 2013 at 9:17 am
hi, i did the no contact rule. its about two months now. then just i called him. i talked sumtin that is casula but he seems bored with me. and i just laughed i said ‘what’s wrong?’ then he said ‘nothing’. i believe that he still loves me coz i am his first love. so does he. my friend said, its time to talk to him face to face. but i dont know how. can u tell me how? please .
admin
October 3, 2013 at 1:08 am
Hahahaha well generally you say “hey, do you want to grab a cup of coffee?” or approach him about hanging out with a group of friends if he will perceive that as less threatening.
abby
October 2, 2013 at 9:25 am
im sorry.. its ‘casual’ not ‘casula’. and ‘just now i called him’ not ‘then just i called him’..
Liz
October 1, 2013 at 10:59 pm
Firstly, thank you for all your advise. This right here is the best breakup / ex back site out there, I’ve been through them all!
I have completed no contact and feel all the better for it. I spoke to my ex for the first time yesterday, I text him and he called back. He was calm and polite (the opposite of the last time we spoke). We spoke for 10 mins until I said I had to go. It went well but I don;t know what to do next. I really want to meet up with him, I’ll be going away in 2 weeks so want to see him before. Should I call and ask him? Should I text? Should I wait for him to call me? I don’t want to blow it at this stage
admin
October 2, 2013 at 1:16 am
Read this page (post NC).
https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/
Freddie
October 1, 2013 at 5:22 am
I feel I forced things too quickly
I feel I may of lost him for good now
I’m just gutted
It’s been an on off relationship always on his terms
What should I do
It is back to no contact
Do you think there will be a possibility that he will contact me again
He said once that there was no one ever like me
Please help