How To Contact Your Ex Boyfriend- When and How To Do It Right

649 thoughts on “This Is How You Should Contact Your Ex Boyfriend”

Lola

June 21, 2016 at 3:17 am

Hi, Chris! First I just want to say how much your website is helping me get through my breakup right now. My ex boyfriend and I broke up about three days ago.. We had been together for three years, and lived together this past year. We got into a huge argument (and it got physical) and I went to my mom’s for a few days.. During those few days, my ex tried to get me to come back home, but I kept saying I don’t know right now and I admit I sent some pretty mean, personal, and nasty texts to him. I went back after those few days and after a week of being there, he told me that he wanted to break up and for me to move out (only his name is on the lease). I’m in the process of NC, but almost everything that’s in the apartment, I bought (furniture, bedroom set, etc.) He knows that my parents will be coming to get the furniture from his place (I plan on not going because of NC). My question is: Does it ruin the NC period if my parents go back and get my furniture, even though I won’t be going with them? They probably won’t be able to get it until another week or two, and I don’t want to ruin NC if this is going to have a negative effect on him and remind him of the negative times in our relationship. (Though I’m assuming that he’s in a rebound relationship right now.) I do want to get my things back though because I plan on getting my own apartment. Please help!!! <3

Lola

June 22, 2016 at 12:29 am

I’ve been doing a few things, like spending time with my grandma (who I never really saw because she lived an hour away from where my ex and I lived), I went to the movies the other night with my cousin and actually started to feel okay, but once I got home I felt sad and depressed again.. I also helped my mom with mowing the lawn over the weekend. Each day seems to be going back and forth for me. I’ll feel sad and lonely once I wake up, but start to feel okay again once the day moves on. I’m pretty sure that he’s in a rebound relationship, and it’s killing me because I don’t want him to develop real feelings for this girl. I know to continue NC, but this is just so difficult. I’ve been crying at least once a day.. This process is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Any comforting/motivating advice?

P.S. My ex doesn’t know that I won’t be coming with my parents to get my furniture.. Do you think that since he’ll expect me to be there, it’ll be a surprise when he sees that I don’t show, and maybe it’ll get him to think a little more positively about us and are relationship?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 22, 2016 at 9:27 am

yeah, it can make him start to think..
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 21, 2016 at 9:12 pm

Hi Lola,

nope it’s not going to ruin nc.. Are you improving yourself?

lala

May 12, 2016 at 10:32 pm

Hi,
Its been a year now since my boyfriend broke up with me because I cheated on him with somebody he knew, it wasn’t really an affair because it just happened once and I never contacted the guy again.
I had planned on moving back to my home country, therefore we were planning on having a long distance relationship and well of course visit each other every time we could. However, my boyfriend found out about what happened with the guy, and he confronted me a few days before I was moving back home, I couldn’t lie to him so I admitted it.
We talked a little for the first few months I was back home, but he was so mad we would just stop talking to me for a while and then just talk back when he wanted to. No matter how many times he rejected me, I kept on calling and texting because at the end, he would end up answering.
Its been a year since I got back and a few weeks ago, he blocked me out of everything so now I don’t have any way to contact him, besides his email.
I don’t know what to do and I won’t be traveling to where he is until Christmas.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 15, 2016 at 5:25 am

Hi Lala,

Check this post out: EBR 020- How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated

j

May 9, 2016 at 12:51 pm

My ex and I had an amicable breakup, and are still on good terms. 2 months after the breakup (I was already dating, being social, spending time with friends and working on myself) I went to his place to pick up my things and things led to us getting physical. I started NC (less than 30 days) a few days later, while he is on vacation. He continued to text me random things (not relationship related) and I did not respond. I broke NC at a time I felt was sufficient, he asked if we were no longer talking and so in order to keep appearing positive and drama free I said “Of course not.. and in case you’re missing the city while you’re away, remember this spot?” while I was in his old neighborhood. That turned into a back and forth photo and texting spree, and with me not responding to his latest text. That was approx 2 days ago, and I plan on texting him something casual to see how his vacation is going. He returns to our city in about 1.5 weeks, what can I do next to build attraction? Do I establish NC again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 9, 2016 at 5:44 pm

Hi J,

nope.. are you not progressing in texting? if you are, you should transition to calls..

Aliya

May 5, 2016 at 11:15 pm

Me and My ex were never actually in relationship, we came in contact through common friends, texted eachother (mostly I was the one who texted but not always, he is a person who rarely texts to ANYONE) showered live indirectly, I proposed he rejected, and one day I got the knowledge that he proposed my other friend.
I was angry, after some days we decided to be friends, but seeing him with other girl made me angry so I used to throw sarcastic comments on them. Many days back I decided to start no contact rule, I ignored his msgs in a group we have with our friends, I ignored him in college, only rarely- for work and study as we are group mates.
I think I did NC for nearly 25 days with least communication and while this I got many positive signs, like his desperation to talk, jealousy when I spend time with other boys, some cute words like baby-one or two time( which he never usually speaks), flirting with other girls to catch my attention etc.
Now I have started to chat with him normally in group and texted him in personal for 4 to 5 times (because he is having problems in his love life, he shared it with me, asked for help as he was not able to concentrate)
Now please guide me further, how to behave in front of him, how to talk and when to text, when to not.
Thank you 🙂

Aliya

May 20, 2016 at 7:31 am

Hid birthday is coming, and as far as I know he is interested in me now. so do I make him feel special or just wish him as a normal friend?
Jennifer Seiter

May 21, 2016 at 1:39 am

Don’t say anything to him on his birthday unless your back together.
Aliya

May 14, 2016 at 5:40 pm

well, actually he always showed signs that he still cares, even when his relations with the other girl were very good. I have always been confused by his behaviour, he was always desperate during NC and jealous when I was around another guy. He never liked me hanging out with his other friends and having fun with them. From the day when we came in contact till the day when I fought with him bcz of the other girl and till the date when he is not happy with the relations he is having with the other girl, He always showed positive signs, not one or two but many signs (but never accepted of course, attitude :/)
Nowadays he is getting angry on me because he got to know that I flirt with his other friends. He doesn’t show that he is angry but his behaviour suddenly turns cold , I can guarantee he is not liking it.
Also I am being very helpful friend so I guess that adds up.
Now if he is trying a rebound than should I worry or not? This guy is so so confusing. If I would tell you the whole story you would probably say you have never heard things like this and never solved a case like this. I know you have to answer so many so trying to keep as small as possible but shortest thing I can say is He is very confusing man 🙁
Aliya

May 13, 2016 at 8:28 pm

I have read it but still I am confused, I don’t understand. On one side he talks with me about his love life problems as if he is so serious about that girl (they were also NOT in relationship, girl denied for relationship …but they always behaved as if they are gf-bf, you know like sitting together so closely, talking all the time, flirting and all) and on other hand he always shows positive signs to me like he cares for me and maybe loves me, so I don’t understand what is in his mind and how to behave with him niw when he is asking for helping him in his love life problems! ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 14, 2016 at 3:14 pm

hmmm.. is he really naturally nice and you’re misinterpreting it because you like him? because I don’t get it.. if he declined your proposal before and he now asks for help for the other girl, if he shows signs that he likes you, that can mean he’s making you a rebound.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 8, 2016 at 8:48 am

Hi Aliya,

check this post out, it suits your situatuon more..
EBR 010: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Gets A New Girlfriend

What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)

Ash

April 29, 2016 at 7:11 am

Hi Amor! ….Me and my ex are studying in the same college we both met eachtoher during the college festivals,he is my junior.Since that day we both have been talking a lot and the moment my friends use to tease him by saying my name he use to blush a lot,it was very clear that he really liked me a lot.After 2 months we became a couple ,he was the one who proposed me,but when we started dating we both were acting really shyly and kind of uncomfortable too.Within 10 days we broke up,he initiated the break up sending me a text saying that ,i don’t know what went wrong,it’s not that i like someone else or something , i am uncomfortable being in a relationship,it’s just that i was happy single,i like you but this bf gf stuff is kinda difficult for me.I completely understand what he was trying to say because this was his first relationship,and On our first date even i thought of saying him the same thing but i stopped myself thinking that i should spend some more time with him and try to know him.After the break up i have realised that i want him back,i really do love him.Soon after the break up i initiated the no contact rule and he bombarded my inbox with messages saying don’t ignore me please and all that stuff but after that he stopped sending me any messages.My no contact period is now over and we both have started talking again it has just been 2 days since we hv started talking to eachother.Now i really don’t know will i ever get him back because he is a really friendly guy and for him relationship and stuff is all kinda new and difficult for him ..i caught him many times staring at me ,any suggestions what to do??

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 10:45 am

Hi Ash,

it looks that is what lacked when you started.. you were attracted but not comfrotable enough with each other.. build on that first.. build on rapport.. take it slow this time..

Love Marie

April 26, 2016 at 8:21 am

My ex boyfriend and I recently had a lengthy and terrible breakup. During our breakup I became furious to the point where he blocked me on everything. At that point of course I had no choice but to begin nc. 3 weeks in, my ex came to my church with a mutual friend, but I didn’t speak to him. My nc coincidentally ended on his birthday so I waited a few more days to contact him & my number was unblocked & I asked him to give me a call whenever he could. I think I screwed up bc there was a lot of flirting between us, and we stayed on the phone for too long (almost 2 hours), he admitted that he missed me and wanted to talk all night as well & suggested us meeting up soon. However, he seems very sexually excited to see me,… How to a grasp this without being too gullible?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 27, 2016 at 7:30 am

Hi Love Marie,

choose a place of meetup that is public..so you can take things slower and next time you talk, end it while in high point.

Surveen

April 14, 2016 at 3:21 pm

Then what should I do? How should I make him realize that he loves me?
And if not how should I make him fall again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 17, 2016 at 1:32 pm

you have to be ready to leave because in that way, you would see if he really loves you or he’s just possessive.. you can’t just stay even if he said all he wants is to be friends.. unless you’re ok with that..

Surveen

April 14, 2016 at 10:26 am

I really feel that he still loves me.. He says that he gets jealous when I talk about other guy and he is not able to concentrate from the day I have started texting him and always checks my last seen.. But he says he wants us to be friends and doesn’t want relationship

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 14, 2016 at 1:07 pm

what if he’s just possessive because you used to be his? You know, that feeling of ownership and authority…

Surveen

April 13, 2016 at 7:02 pm

Hi amor
We are texting again but hez scared of relationships now hez not willing to commit and even i told him that I don’t want relationship and all.. But i really want to tell him that how much I love him
What should I do.. How to make him commit again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 14, 2016 at 7:05 am

Hi Surveen,

that means he has to see you as someone that he really likes to be with but he’s not sure if you would stay or not if he doesn’t make you feel special.. so, in essence be an ungettable girl.. Be of value.. That means you have your own life and thing going on and excelling upon

Michelle

April 9, 2016 at 11:13 pm

Hi there!
I was dating this really great guy he was wonderful. We met online and instantly connected. Within a week of talking we made it clear we only wanted to see eachother and by the third date we were exclusive. Things although we’re moving fast felt right. He had a great job, good family and we are both 25. This is my first real adult relationship and there were aspects that made me nervous.
We both made time for eachother and drove back and forth to each others houses. He met my family and they liked him. My family is kind of quiet and I think he expected more from them but they are just quiet to themselves people, and are new to the while me dating people thing. His parents were in Florida for the winter so I didn’t get to meet them. After a month of dating he invited me to Florida to meet them but I was too scared to talk to my parents about it and just told him I thought it was too soon. He asked me to stay over and again I was nervous to do so so I said I need some time. We were intimate and he planned wonderful dates and always had an amazing time. He surprised me at work with flowers and always was trying his best to make time for me. He is the baby of the family and I am an older sister. I invited him to hang out with my family and he didn’t want to feel like he was babysitting which is fair. Because of my young siblings I can’t ask him to stay here but my older brother has a house of his own and we are always welcome to stay there. On the weekend we broke up my parents were having a fight when he came over and wanted everyone out of the house. He took it personally as they didn’t want him in the house. I tried to explain it to him but he felt disrespected. I understood since he drove an hour to get to me and I apologized. I drove out to see him the next day but he was cold and distant and still bothered by my family. He broke up with me the next day and told me that I am a great person, that we had a lot in common but that we were at different places in our lives and that he wasn’t happy. It’s been two weeks since this breakup and I haven’t reached out at all. I really was falling in love with him and I think he was so turned off by me always saying no in fear of my parents and their opinions as well as his perception of a bad night. Now that I have taken the time to reflect I see that I was hesitant and nervous and scared and could have handled things so much better. I want to reach out but don’t know if I should. He went back on the dating website we met on a as of a few days ago he recently took it down. I’m not sure if he may have found someone else but I think if I just apologize and tell him I know that I screwed up that we could make it. These past three months were the happiest of my life and the breakup wasn’t bad I just think he wanted more than I was willing to give. I realize my ways and I want to express that to him. Should I or shouldn’t I? And if he has met someone new will it even matter? What are your thoughts?

Michelle

April 10, 2016 at 5:08 pm

I sent my text to him to apologize and say that I screwed up and that if he was interested in working things out maybe we can meet up. I didn’t get a response so I will start no contact however he unblocked me from Facebook which he had me blocked for two weeks. Is that a good sign that maybe he is considering a reconciliation of some sorts or am I reading too much into his every move lol?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 11, 2016 at 11:31 am

Hi Michelle,

maybe he unblocked you because of the apology..but still contnue to do nc
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2016 at 10:41 am

Hi Michelle,

You can try apologize first and talk.. If he doesn’t respond positively then you can try do active no contact.

Mahi

April 8, 2016 at 10:56 am

But he was very curious.. He asked me a lot of questions.. And said its good to hear from you.. He never start conversation, he looks happy when I message but he never start conversation

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 9, 2016 at 7:08 am

that’s why you really need to makr an excuse because there would be nothing left for him to want to talk you again…it’s ok if you initiate next time..

Mahi

April 8, 2016 at 10:48 am

It didn’t end with a high note.. But i didn’t message him since 4 days

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 9, 2016 at 7:08 am

that’s why you really need to makr an excuse because there would be nothing left for him to want to talk you again…it’s ok if you initiate next time..

Mahi

April 5, 2016 at 6:24 pm

I made a mistake.. It was 2nd day of our texting after my 45 days of no contact n we texted alot, i forgot abt tide theory..
Now what should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 8, 2016 at 9:49 am

That’s okay.. did it end well?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 2:47 pm

if he’s responding neutrally or negatively in your facebook convos that means you have to do nc again one last time, and then let’s see if he changes his mind… Don’t chase him because that will just make him avoid you more
Mania

April 4, 2016 at 7:45 am

My proper situation to make u clear is
I am married with 2 kids (my marriage is nt so much on comfortable grounds ..its a compromise fr kids)
And i was in a physical relationship with my ex
Now after his xams… he is nt giving his mobile no.
I just want to b incontact .. as its v clear ,we cant be together ever .. but v can stay connectd.. he can hav his own life but i want him to stay in touch as friends and no hinderence to communicate if i want.
Sumtimes i feel as i was just a fun fr him
Sumtimes i feel he fears to hav tru feelings fr me as he can nvr have me forever.
But i want to stay connectd..
Plz help how to manage and get him close again
Mania

April 2, 2016 at 11:24 am

Hi,
After 10 days no no contact it was his birthday
He approached me from his brother cell and or it was his brother but he said u made a mistake to not wish him and now he gona blast
I am nt having his new cell no. He changed his no.
I lft msg at his fb to communicate directly . 3rd person is not required between us. And i also left a gud txt like watching sumthing reminding me of him and i cherish those best days.
But i am confused
Now wat? Plz urgent help needed
He has seen txt yet .i can remove thm but wat abt conversation to his brothr or him. Who so ever txted from his brother cell?
Plz reply to my querry aoon

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 5:41 am

Hi Mania,

if you can remove the text before he sees that’s better because texting after that will just look like you are chasing him

Surveen

March 23, 2016 at 3:58 pm

Its holi tomorrow.. We are in a group on whatsapp.. If someone message on that group happy holi should i reply happy holi?? Its the day 34 of my no contact

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 1, 2016 at 1:18 pm

Sorry for the late reply Surveeen. How are things now?

Surveen

March 20, 2016 at 11:36 am

I have very little time with me Amor 🙁
I will be engaged by the end of this year if not him then with someone else as I can’t hold my parents more then 3 months after that the will start searching a guy for me 🙁

Hopeful

March 28, 2016 at 2:42 am

Hi,
My ex and I broke up almost 20 days ago. In a few days it will be safe to break the no contact rule. I need to get in touch with him because my mom needs her camera back. I thought that this would be a good time to ask to meet halfway since we go to the same school and talk for a few minutes when exchanging the camera. Should I send a text before this “reminiscing”? or should I stick with exchanging the camera and being friendly when I see him? We spent 3 special years together, and the reason for us breaking up seemed a little hastey and not well-thoughtout. We could have communicated more to work things out. I want to know the best approach to this situation. Thank you!!
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 4:16 am

Stick to being friendly first, take it slow.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 21, 2016 at 3:49 am

I understand.. You can’t force him of course..

So the only chance I can see is that you really make an effort to move out of your current apartment, and start a fresh new life..where he can see that you really moved on and improved yourself and then try to reconnect with him.. but that will take time..

think of it, let’s say you do 45 days this time..and that’s full no contact..and then you really make it productive and you post in social media always to establish that you’re moving on and for him to see your improvements..and then he may see it and miss you but I don’t think 45 days will be enough to rebuild the trust.. you have to rebuild it when you get in touch again… maybe that will take 2-3 months for him to take a chance again.. but if he’s still not engaging, pushing it too fast will hurt more

I hate to be honest, but that’s the most hopeful and realistic as well as I can get

You can talk to your parents too.. I know it’s hard because I think it’s a culture thing..buy maybe just ask them to extend it for a year..maybe tell them the marriage is affecting your studies because you’re worrying and you don’t want it to affect your reputation and you want to focus on it for now..

Surveen

March 20, 2016 at 11:31 am

We both have moved to different places since last april.. He was saying he is not able to forget the past
Surveen

March 20, 2016 at 9:24 am

There is no plan.. I mean i didn’t get you.. What plan?
I am relying on you.. I will do whatever you say.. I want him back.. I have only loved him and it will never be same without him

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 20, 2016 at 10:20 am

Sorry comma I meant if you get back together do you plan on moving to another place? Or make more time for him? But actually for now you have to rebuild Trust and that will take a long time because you have to start as friends again.

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649 thoughts on “This Is How You Should Contact Your Ex Boyfriend”