How To Contact Your Ex Boyfriend- When and How To Do It Right

649 thoughts on “This Is How You Should Contact Your Ex Boyfriend”

Cat

April 4, 2015 at 6:43 am

Me and my ex boyfriend broke up 4 days before Christmas and on April 18th is when we started dating. It was my plan to win him back before then but then I realised how stupid that was. My aim is to get him to talk to me before then. I really want to make it work again with him. He broke up with me because I fell for another guys game (in which he wanted us to break up because when he broke up with my friend I was there for her not him. So he wanted me to be unhappy while he goes and plays other girls) anywho I’m done with him (I actually kicked him in the balls) but I really want my ex back but he has blocked me from EVERYTHING and got a new number. But I recently found his new number but I’m afraid to text or call it because he’ll find it weird how I got his number. I’ve been in contact with his mum backseat I wasn’t coping and on the verge of suicide. She told me he is completely shut down and doesn’t talk about me or wjat we did at all. His mum doesn’t even know what actually happened but I told her. And it’s his birthday on Tuesday (7th april) and I really want to make an effort to do something but all I can do is make him a card but I’m scared he won’t open it because it’s from me. what Can I do to get him to talk to me?

Cat

April 4, 2015 at 6:44 am

We dated for 8 months and 2 days. It’s all my fault and I can’t even start on how sorry I am to him.

Amelia

April 3, 2015 at 11:09 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up two weeks after almost a year of great trips, dinning’s, surprises, laugh and lots of love… I really believe he is the one and he made me so happy in ways I could not believe I could instead I thrive to make him happy and for him to let me in although it was his first long distance relationship we managed to see each other every 2 weeks or worst every month although more than 9,000km separated us… Then 3 weeks ago after an argument over the phone he said he love me but was not in love we managed to stay together but I could not get over the phrase, then a week after the phrase or 2 weeks ago he travelled we had dinner I was so cold he was reaching out then at my apt I said I did not love him anymore ( how I regret saying it because is not true i was hurt gosh i wish i could go back in time) and he said I deserved someone better that could see what he could not and feel what he could not ..I felt my world crashed I could not think straight I did some begging and his eyes water a little but he said I was making it harder I pushed him away… the next day, he was still in my city, in a low moment, where I felt I could not breathe or stop crying in my closed door office I texted him: “Hey, the pain does not go away” …he never replied! I will be travelling to Europe in 2 weeks and I was supposed to see him and visit some family every friend I have asked said I should not contact him and is actually just the 30 day mark of the NC when I will land …what can I do ? should I write before arriving? During? Not at all? What should a breezy easy fun text look like? I am still crushed and hurt but I do really believe we are meant to be together he is scared this was the most real relationship he ever had and he is 36 also I will be having some job meetings in London (it was getting real) I ran the end the relationship over and over in my head, but my last text is almost impossible to be answer right? I don’t know what to do:(
Rachel

March 30, 2015 at 2:34 am

I was engaged to my SO, but within the first couple of months we soon broke up over something stupid (won’t go into details). The first couple of days we still texted each other and it was nice, but I soon stopped texting him figuring NC would be good. Two weeks after our break-up he was already going on dates with another girl (I found out when she was constantly tagging him in posts talking about what they did). My NC is officially over, but he still is occasionally going on dates with this girl. A mutual friend of ours said that he mentioned she was nice, but didn’t want anything serious, so I took it as a sign that he may still somewhat love me. We used to write each other letters all the time, so after NC I sent him a letter. When will he likely respond to it, if at all? And should I still text him to further it along? What would be a good time to?

admin

March 31, 2015 at 10:16 pm

Do you know my thoughts on letters?

Selena

March 28, 2015 at 3:33 am

He broke up with me 3 weeks ago and we’ve basically been talking this whole time. Will the no contact rule still work or is it too late?

admin

March 29, 2015 at 2:32 pm

It sure can.
Selena

March 30, 2015 at 12:02 am

I read the page about rebounds and I think that is this situation. Before we even broke up he began flirting with this other girl. That went on for a few months. We then broke up and he isn’t dating her yet but is thinking about it (and is definitely acting like he is.)I believe that she’s the rebound girl. If they’re dating when my 30 days is over should I continue the plan like normal or is there any changes I should make in regards to him having a new girlfriend?

Alicia

March 27, 2015 at 2:01 pm

Me and my boyfriend broke up a month and a half ago. We have stayed in contact until I told him that it was too painful to be his friend (that was two weeks ago). I met up with his mom and she said that she really hoped we could work it out and that I should tell him how I felt, so we met up. And then we were intimate(big no no, I know….) and then he started freaking out and crying and saying that we need to leave each ther alone. I cried but I said okay. He said that if life brings us back together in some way, then we can consider it then. He says he still loves me but he was really hurt by the break up (I wasn’t very affectionate and he was overly affectionate to accommodate for it. Now I understand where I went wrong and I am working on becoming better.) Now that I’ve found this page, and because he asked me to, I’m following the 30 day no contact rule. I am focusing on myself, going to the gym, hangin out with friends, trying to become the best that I can be so that I’m happy with myself, and he’ll be impressed if we do come I to contact. However, my birthday is in May (and I would love to do something with him around that time) and I was wondering if I could contact him in month and just say that I was thinking about him, and I was wondering how he was doing. Do you think I should wait longer than 30 days since he still seems so shaken up about it and said that we should let it happen naturally (my thoughts are that it won’t happen naturally unless one of us makes contact.) I think he thinks that we made a mistake too, but he’s just afraid of getting involved again and it ending worse and more painful. Any advice on how to handle this once the no contact period is up?
dee

March 24, 2015 at 8:56 pm

No Contact rule backfired. Ex was furious. Then invited me on vacation. The week of the holiday he started no contact on me (to get back at me). I had to cancel my flight as no contact from him meant that no holiday arrangement was made. Does not always work. Plus he told me i was very childish for sulking and not answering my phone.

admin

March 31, 2015 at 6:56 pm

I am sorry it didn’t work out for you.

May I ask how many times he contacted you during NC?

hope

March 23, 2015 at 10:45 pm

hey my ex and i dated for around a year. 3 weeks ago we broke up because i got mad and he got tired of me getting mad and broke it off. he started acting cold and mean toward me. we talked about the break up and he said he still cared for me but didnt love me anymore. i screwed up and started beging him to come back. he told me he doesnt want a girlfriend for a long time.i decided that i was no longer going to contact him but he wont contact me unless i contact him first. im scared that he wont ever contact me and will forget about me. i love him , he was my first everything. i liked him for a year and he eventully asked me out. i like him so much and im confused about what to do. i plan on contacting him on my birthday which is coming up in about 3 weeks. i want us to get back together but i dont know what t do. please help!
Arika

March 23, 2015 at 2:57 am

What if you lost your ex number and have no way of contacting them but you know where they live. would it be cool to go to their house

admin

March 24, 2015 at 8:33 pm

Do you have them on Facebook?

Tiffy

March 22, 2015 at 10:34 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me pretty much a week ago, I fought her him for 4 to 5 days, then decided to have no contacted with him, to let him come to me, I decided to do the no contacted for 30 days, my question is what If he contacts me before the 30 days end?

admin

March 24, 2015 at 8:14 pm

You don’t answer.

Patricia

March 18, 2015 at 7:47 pm

I meet my ex bf online, we live 5 hrs apart, so i will travel to visit since i have family near where he lives. We went out for about 2 month, but he did get upset a few times because my cousin was around, plus we had a couple of arguments one for his tattoo, because i dont like tattoo in general due to my background personal issues but said i was ok with his, he took it pretty had though, and the other main issue was due to his financial situation which i again try to express my support because i do believe he has great potential. Things got out of hand a bit, i was to a point that did not want it to discuss about them over the phone or text, would rather do it in person. But he decided to end the relationship stating we were to far apart, then that he lost interest, that i wanted everything my way. I honestly feel he really like me, and was great with my son as well but i do feel he expected to much from me too soon. And even though i said i agree with him in many aspects and was willing to change for him not because he was telling me but because i agree and that was going to make me a better person. Then he said it was too late and he just did not see a future. I left him alone for a week and then contacted to see if we can meet to talk in person. He talked to like nothing had happend and agreed to meet “with me only” that was at 9pm and at 5am he text me saying nevermind I know i said it would be nice to meet but i dont want to create false expectations, hope you understand… I did not reply at all.. Idk what he feels, but felt like he was giving me mix feeling or maybe he just did not want to make me feel bad..Then a few days later he block me from fb, whatapp and probably from his iphone as well. Its been two weeks I do really miss him. I know it was a short relationship but i do feel in a way we complement each other very well… If we could just pass this small issues we would be great, since we have similar points of fews and ways we would like to raise my child and his child even though he lives in another state. Plus i feel i can help him a lot to get the career he said he wants to obtain… Anyhow I feel we can become better people as a couple… We both have strong characters so that complicated things… So I am not debating as if I should just forget about him… Contact him after 30 days or what? And if i contact how should i do that since he has block comunication… But i have his email he gave me which i think he does not even remember i have plus inhave his address. I felt bad when he block me from everything as i never harass him at all, but since we started to talk he mentioned he had block people just like that, maybe his personality or bad experiencew from the past. In addition, i felt that he is and was going to a lot of emocional situation such as being away from his child, working a lot, his boss not being too fair, trying to go to school and not being able so that added more to our relationship i feel… He is such a great person, admired him about being a great father and great person in general. Should i give it a try? Maybe I just feel bad to get rejected idk but i dont even know how i can go about contacting him or what i would say, so that is not creepy. I have started to investigate about his career and how he can validate his courses from his country… I was never even had time to share what i had found out with him since everything happened so quick… Regarless i would like to let him know as i wish him all the best… ✌️ … If i should contact him, how should i and what could in say?? I am lost…

admin

March 21, 2015 at 3:05 pm

After 30 days I would contact him.

Ideally I like to open communication up by having you send a text message that is impossible for him not to respond to.

Heartbroken

March 12, 2015 at 9:32 pm

So my bf and I were together for three years and it was amazing then I left him Bc he started to change into a jerk. Then a week after the break up we talked and then we went out and made and had made love and things were going fine for a week and then out of nowhere he stopped talking to me for two weeks and then we started talking again and he said he stop talking Bc he wanted to see what would happen with us pretty much test us and so he messaged me first Bc he missed me then we both promise to start over fresh and take things slow and no more lies and everything was going perfect until I started to nag at him a lot and telling me him to send me stuff like flowers sweet long messages etc. then one day he did and I said is this from the Internet and I got a little pissed off and then I realized it doesn’t matter where he got it. It’s the thought that counts and that he took time out of his day to do that for me. But Bc i nagged and got mad over something stupid he then told me he wanted space but of course I didnt I pretty much nagged him more and annoyed him more which caused him to give up on us and start dating someone else a month later. I want him back and I want to change and I am changing to the girl he fell In love with and I want to be that girl again too. But I feel like it’s at the point where it’s impossible to get him back Bc he has a gf he said that he doesn’t know if he will think about giving me a chance and stuff and I don’t know what to do I want him back and make things better then ever before and not screw this up anymore. Part of me thinks that there’s a chance then another part of me things it won’t happen Bc he has a gf. What should I do to really get him back 🙁

admin

March 13, 2015 at 8:45 pm

Well first of all you are in the wrong section. You should probably head on over to the how to get him back if he has a girlfriend section.

tanya

March 11, 2015 at 8:20 pm

Hi, me and my ex boyfriend were dating on and off for three years. We will have been broken up for a year in may. Today i saw him sitting in our common room alone and we could both feel the awkward tension. We havent spoken since late last year and i still love him and cant accept that we have broken up. I wanted to call him tonight considering how crap my night went (family issues) and i feel like ever since we broke up everythings been going wrong with me…so do i call him or will i just be diappointed again

admin

March 13, 2015 at 7:39 pm

Well, if you are doing NC then I would suggest you don’t contact him.

chris

March 9, 2015 at 2:36 am

I am in the 30 day NC. It’s hard, but I’m doing it. I was going to contact via text in 31 days because something special falls on that day that would be a great ice breaker. I wrote him a letter letting him know I am in counseling working on myself so I can be a better person for us. I have written a letter basically apologizing for the things I did wrong and how i am working on them. I am keeping it more factual and straightforward than overly emotional. At the end I get a little emotional and let him know what he and the relationship mean to me.

I am wondering a few things
1. How long after the text should I send this to him?

2. Should I send it as an email (and ask him to text me ‘read it’ so I know he did when he is done) Or should I call him and read it to him?

I really love him. This is a long distance relationship and I was supposed to be going to see him in june, but we broke up. He said I pushed him to make a decision he was not sure he wanted to make. He was trying to see what he wanted after we had an argument in December. We were talking marriage. He says I ruined everything and wants to be friends. I know he loves me and was angry, but I am scared of losing him. I don’t want to wait to lo ng in trying to fix this

admin

March 13, 2015 at 3:50 pm

What is it that is special that falls on that day?

Margaret

March 8, 2015 at 4:39 pm

My ex confessed to me that he cheated, had an one night stand with another girl during the business trip. I forgave him, but after 2 weeks being together I felt like he didn’t even try to hold on to the relationship anymore.

That was three months ago. Ever since that final break up, we never contact each other.

However, recently I have been really stressful because I occasionally dreamed about him; the dreams were all about contacting him in many ways.

Everytime I woke up from the dream, I wasn’t sure if the dream means that I should contact him or not… I am not even sure if I want to get him back or not. I am still single and haven’t met anyone that I want to go for.

This is very annoying and I don’t want to make any mistake if I contacted him; but at this moment I am really confused about what to do… :

admin

March 13, 2015 at 3:27 pm

Did he ever dive into what was going through his mind to initially cause him to cheat?

Was he checking out of the relationship before?

Tina

February 25, 2015 at 3:42 pm

Hi,
So my ex and I broke up around 3 months ago (we were together for a year and a half). I broke up with him. I started college and the long distance was stressing me out.
When I went back home for winter break, we went out a couple of times, and we kissed everytime (this happened between late december and early january).
When I went back to college I found out he was already “dating” someone else since the beggining of December. He never told me about her. I found out through a friend. I confronted him but he never accepted it.
I got so mad that I did the no contact rule. On February 15, I texted him for the first time after 1 month. We texted for around 3hrs! Two days later I texted him again and we texted throught the whole day. The next day I texted him again and the same thing happened, we texted a lot. I stopped texting him thinking he will text me, but he hasn’t. Do you think he will?
He is still “dating” the girl from December. I thought she was a rebound, but do rebound last this long?
Should I keep trying to win him back or is he just a lost cause?

admin

February 25, 2015 at 10:06 pm

Usually speaking rebounds don’t last forever.
Tina

February 26, 2015 at 1:04 am

Okay. Thanks!
Do you think I should still try to win him back or should I leave him alone for now?

Aaliyah

February 24, 2015 at 9:41 pm

My bf broke up with me last friday he said that his ex told him to call her and he did because their parents broke them up then he said when she gave him the number his heart was pumping so he broke up with me to get to her we still talk on fb but now I know about the no contact rule I’m not and he even told me not to date anyone because when he’s single he was taking me back and never letting go I don’t know what to do please help me

admin

February 25, 2015 at 9:21 pm

Hold on, what does his ex have to do with this?

Confused

February 22, 2015 at 8:28 am

Hi,

My ex and I broke up a little over a month ago. Long story short, he broke up with me over a text message. He never got to see my real feelings for him or from the break-up since it all happened over text message. I lost my virginity to him and he told me he was falling in love with me and he made me promise him that I would never leave him, but he did to me. I was prepared for the break-up. Between the honeymoon phase and the break-up he was acting incredibly short with me. The I love you’s and goodnight’ came to an end. Before we broke up, like a few minutes before, I wrote him this long message about how amazing he is and how we can work things out to become a better and happier couple and then he just ended it. A few days after the break-up when he got in contact he told me how I was enough and he wasn’t, which doesn’t make sense because he broke up with me? He said he loved me for a time and then he was miserable, but said he was enough and that he’s such an uncaring person and that I deserve better than him. He said he’s numb to feeling anything but the first few months of our relationship were so amazing..but I love him and he’s all I want. I read about the no contact rule and successfully completed it for over 30 days and now I want to get in contact with him but I don’t know how. Since he never saw my real emotions in my voice and face, maybe him seeing me in person would trigger something. I still have some of his stuff. Should an excuse to text him asking him if he wants his stuff back a good excuse to not only get a conversation going but to possibly get the chance to see him in person again? Please help. I really want him back but need the right steps. Thank you for your help.
Confused

February 10, 2015 at 1:07 am

I wrote you earlier about my situation. Here it is again:
I wrote him after a month of full no contact although we stayed friends on facebook ( I did not write him on it either , no likes or comments as well). I initiated contact like you stated telling him he reminded me of an actor in a movie. he responded positively and complimented me and asked about my family. I cut it short and said I was out with my girls.

second text: I wrote him something general for which he did not respond to. I wrote you and you said wait a couple of days and write him again but with a stronger text. So I did….

third text: I sent a stronger text stating a memory that we shared. I even had my cousin read for which he said was very good and he would definitely respond to it

I sent it and it is 6 days later with no response.

I guess that’s my sign to leave him alone? However, he puts subliminal messages online…

I know you said it will take time but I can’t help to feel as if this a game for him and wants me to chase him for his ego. We are both stubborn and I reached out twice with no response….? However I do miss him and I wonder if he misses me?

what do you suggest? please be honest and Help!!

Cassie

July 29, 2015 at 7:20 pm

I was in a very similar position with my ex. He would post subliminal messages online. I thought they were for me… but they were really for the girl he was seeing for awhile and I didnt know about. Walk away. He’s not the one.
admin

February 10, 2015 at 3:52 pm

Did you ever try the I have a confession text.
confused

February 10, 2015 at 7:10 pm

No I didnt. What is that? And it seems like you are telling me to continue trying?
admin

February 11, 2015 at 1:49 pm

You should have tried the confession text. I feature it a lot on this site.
Confused

February 14, 2015 at 1:01 am

okay I hear you. It is Valentine’s. I want to send a text but would feel silly sending it? since he already ignored my two last texts. I would feel definitely hurt if he doesn’t respond

Keira

February 9, 2015 at 11:11 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up after 3 years, and I did make the mistake of begging him back. We lived together during our relationship. He got into another relationship about a month after we broke up. He told me he didn’t want to be with me anything more and I immediately started NC the next day. Within 3 wks he texted me out of the blue accusing me of talking bad about him and saying because of that he was doing so well and was so blessed. I handled the situation very well and turned it around to something positive. He could’nt argue with me like he had planned. ( by the way I’ve never talked about him to anyone and I feel like he was making it up) Now NC is almost up and I don’t know if he was really upset or using that text to reach out to me. Should I still send the text after NC is over or just leave it alone because he is with someone else?

admin

February 10, 2015 at 3:50 pm

Definitely still send it.

alec

February 7, 2015 at 5:05 pm

Hello. Can I read his private messages in Facebook but not respond to him at all? Is that going to be counted or do I have to start over again?

admin

February 9, 2015 at 4:07 pm

I mean, technically not but how do you have access to his private messages?

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649 thoughts on “This Is How You Should Contact Your Ex Boyfriend”