How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

554 thoughts on “How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him”

Manda Amanda

January 6, 2019 at 8:59 am

Hi Chris,

I actually followed your advice previously when my bf broke up with me and now he is back after no contact of 1 month. We constantly meet and text and it has been a week plus. We spoke about the breakup and he claims that for now he wants to go with the flow and see how far this goes and it’s too soon to get back together. However, we ended up having sex twice. But even after, he still texts me and talks to me on the phone and meets up, and has even agreed to go out for a movie with me (like a date). I even asked him if he is going to return me back my things, and he ignored and did not want to. He gets jealous esp when I talk to other guys or when guys hit on me at the club etc and tells me things like “I miss you” and ends up saying I don’t know where this is going and I don’t want to give you hope. I’m so confused with all the mixed signals. I know he cares and he might probably still have feelings for me, but now that I had sex with him twice, it’s making me worried that he might have come back for it. However, we were having issues in bed and was one of the reasons why we broke up previously cause we weren’t having enough sex. What should I do now? Continue talking to him or go into NC? Help pls! 🙁

Chris Seiter

January 6, 2019 at 8:16 pm

Hi Miranda!

Yes, those mixed feeling can be confusing. Just take things slow. Too premature to go into NC as things could improve. Look for opportunities to have experiences together..build on those. At this stage, don’t try to “define” the relationship or put any conditions on how things should be. Just enjoy moments together and keep it positive. Later, you cna decide if you like the direction its head and NC is always an option.

Penny

December 28, 2018 at 8:48 pm

Hey Chris. Here’s my question. My ex and I started as work friends then after knowing each other a few months we started hanging out as friends outside work, pretty quickly (second “date”) we slept together and became FWB, two months of that and he was ready to commit to me and asked to date me. We were together for 6 months even lived together, then I started birth control and it made me CRAZY we had a real fight. (Prior we agreed or compromised on pretty much everything) after a month of me acting nuts he left. Roommates for 2 months til I moved out. Then we didn’t spend allot of the there but still saw eachother often as strictly friends, I lived with roommates while loooking for my own place and 5 months after the break up we started flirting. then 6 months after the breakup I moved (again) into my own place no roommates. He helped. First time I got him to hangout (2 weeks after moving right after he helped me empty my storage unit) and we had sex. He specifically said he still just wants to be friends. But I feel like this is exactly how it happened when we started dating. Sex no strings friendship and me basically flat out saying I can get any guy I want and do and will, while being extremely independent is what made him want me in the first place, so do I need to cut this off? Or do you think with my new place, better job and independent confident nature being the high value hard to lock down woman I am, he’ll for me again the exact same way?

Chris Seiter

December 29, 2018 at 2:12 am

Hi Penny!

The friends with benefits kind of connection doesn’t usually turn out so well. Perhaps consider NC.

Shruti

December 18, 2018 at 3:14 pm

Hi Chris, I am in a dilemma. My boyfriend broke up with me 3 days back. We were in a long distance relationship. Now one of his best friends has come to my country for vacation and we met over lunch. My ex’ best friend asked me if I had sex with my ex and I promptly said yes. After reflection I realised my ex boyfriend never shared our sexual relations with his best friend. I wanted to try the No Contact rule on my ex but I think after this there’s no possibility of having my ex back. If his best friend goes back and tell my ex that I told him about our sexual relations then there is no reason for my ex to come back to me. Maybe my ex just wanted to protect me from people to assume negative things on me. Please help me I am trying to get my ex back. My ex best friend promised me he won’t say a word to my ex but I am sure he will.
Sam

December 9, 2018 at 2:19 pm

Hi Chris,

I am reaching out again because I followed your advice and stayed patient without contacting my ex. I previously wrote in which I have copied and pasted below.

*****Big fan of your site! Okay so here is my story me and my ex have been broken up for 2 years now. We dated for a year and broke up pretty mutually. I was in school full time he was working just in different parts of our lives back then. I graduated college last May and have a full time job now so things have changed. Since we broke up he has been with the same girl for 2 years. They recently got an apartment together. I saw him out a year ago and I was on a date with another guy we had a brief good convo and then that was it I had not heard or seen him since. Flash forward a year later and he texts me last friday. We decided to meet up even though he still has the same gf of 2 years. We ended up talking and saying how much we both still loved eachother and how he will always love me and thinks about me everyday and how great our relationship was. I brought up the gf situation and asked what is going on with him and her. He barley had an answer more of a uhhhh its not good. We ended up having sex. Now it has been a few days and I still see he is in a relationship with her. How do I get him back at this point? What moves do I make now? I really am willing to do what it takes to make him mine again.

Your response: “It still seems unclear whether you should be patient and continue conversation and contact with your ex or (Being There Strategy) or pursue No Contact. Be patient for a week or so and gently explore his intentions.”

Now it has been two weeks since our encounter and I have not heard from him. I believe right now he is still with his girlfriend. What should I do now? Should I reach out to him? I really want to make this work with him! Please give me advice! Also I have your ebook
Sam

December 7, 2018 at 1:23 am

Hi Chris,

I am reaching out again because I followed your advice and stayed patient without contacting my ex. I previously wrote in which I have copied and pasted below.

*****Big fan of your site! Okay so here is my story me and my ex have been broken up for 2 years now. We dated for a year and broke up pretty mutually. I was in school full time he was working just in different parts of our lives back then. I graduated college last May and have a full time job now so things have changed. Since we broke up he has been with the same girl for 2 years. They recently got an apartment together. I saw him out a year ago and I was on a date with another guy we had a brief good convo and then that was it I had not heard or seen him since. Flash forward a year later and he texts me last friday. We decided to meet up even though he still has the same gf of 2 years. We ended up talking and saying how much we both still loved eachother and how he will always love me and thinks about me everyday and how great our relationship was. I brought up the gf situation and asked what is going on with him and her. He barley had an answer more of a uhhhh its not good. We ended up having sex. Now it has been a few days and I still see he is in a relationship with her. How do I get him back at this point? What moves do I make now? I really am willing to do what it takes to make him mine again.

Your response: “It still seems unclear whether you should be patient and continue conversation and contact with your ex or (Being There Strategy) or pursue No Contact. Be patient for a week or so and gently explore his intentions.”

Now it has been two weeks since our encounter and I have not heard from him. I believe right now he is still with his girlfriend. What should I do now? Should I reach out to him? I really want to make this work with him! Please give me advice! Also I have your ebook 🙂
Elizabeth Z.

December 5, 2018 at 12:04 am

Hello there I love your website Chris.

Me and my ex were together for about 7 years. Unfortunately he broke up with me and yes I did beg him and apologized even though I now realize it wasn’t completely my fault. We remained friends and causally be intimate until I figuree out he wanted to just have me as a friends with privileges so I decided to cut him off for good. We been broken up for 2 and half years I had over 1 year that I didn’t speak to him at all, I dated someone and so did he but in the end it didn’t work out. Neither for him because he is currently single. We started talking again after 1 year (texting )and kind of flirting. I finally got to see him after over a year and emotions were too strong he hugged me and we talked for hours and hours. Things just got out of control and we couldn’t help it and ended having sex. Great sex very romantic and passionate, we cuddled went to dinner and afterwards I left home. He seemed so excited and I never seen him smiling so much like that day. The only thing that has me worried is why he hasn’t called me or txt me? I mean its just been 1 day should I be worried? What do you advise me to do? I honestly feel like we never stopped loving each other but maybe I could be wrong..?

Chris Seiter

December 5, 2018 at 12:18 am

Hi Elizabeth!

Perhaps wait another day, then send him an ABI message (always be interesting). Something that arouses his curiosity.

Sam

November 29, 2018 at 1:33 am

Hi Chris,

Big fan of your site! Okay so here is my story me and my ex have been broken up for 2 years now. We dated for a year and broke up pretty mutually. I was in school full time he was working just in different parts of our lives back then. I graduated college last May and have a full time job now so things have changed. Since we broke up he has been with the same girl for 2 years. They recently got an apartment together. I saw him out a year ago and I was on a date with another guy we had a brief good convo and then that was it I had not heard or seen him since. Flash forward a year later and he texts me last friday. We decided to meet up even though he still has the same gf of 2 years. We ended up talking and saying how much we both still loved eachother and how he will always love me and thinks about me everyday and how great our relationship was. I brought up the gf situation and asked what is going on with him and her. He barley had an answer more of a uhhhh its not good. We ended up having sex. Now it has been a few days and I still see he is in a relationship with her. How do I get him back at this point? What moves do I make now? I really am willing to do what it takes to make him mine again.

Chris Seiter

November 29, 2018 at 3:39 am

Hi Sam! thanks for stopping by and congrats for your graduation back in May and your new job! I would suggest you take a deeper dive into my Program. My eBooks, “Pro” (485 pages) is a great Companion Guide. It still seems unclear whether you should be patient and continue conversation and contact with your ex or (Being There Strategy) or pursue No Contact. Be patient for a week or so and gently explore his intentions.

Tracy

November 21, 2018 at 4:08 pm

Hi Chris,

My on and off stubborn exboyfriend of 2 and half years broke up with me 5 weeks ago because he thinks I cheated on him on a girls holiday (I didn’t) my single friend went with a guy which I told him and he thinks I did the same. This was my first girls holiday in a long time and I have recently lost a lot of weight since joining the gym and he assumed also I was craving attention. The day he told me he didn’t want to be with me I did the usual crying and begging and then after that I started no contact. During 4 weeks of the no contact period he text me to tell me he “moved on” with another girl chatting constantly for 4 weeks however this girl is only out of a 10 year relationship also and her ex moved on instantly too with another girl (she actually was dumped for cheating). She has been trying to get him back and has been doing some really erratic things to get him. Anyway, things fizzled out with them before they met due to the drama with her ex. Last week my ex and I were texting and flirting and I ended up sleeping with him on Saturday. He was attentive the day after (Sunday) texting me however when I asked him on Monday how he was and he was giving me closed answers and you knew he didn’t really seem interested conversing with me and told me he would speak soon. I have not spoken to him nearly two days. Do I try the no contact rule again? I really love this man and we fell out over a misunderstanding to begin with. I really do want to work it out, can you help please?

Chris Seiter

November 22, 2018 at 3:52 am

Hi Tracy….if you see an avenue for the misunderstanding to be resolved without NC, then you should explore. But go it slow…don’t rush into things. But if you are not making progress, then NC is on the plate of options.

Jess

October 12, 2018 at 8:13 am

So my ex and I went out for 4 years and lived together for 3 years. He recently left me because I wasn’t happy because he didn’t have a job. We were friends and he said he wanted to try but slow and then I begged for him back and he told me he never wanted to speak to me again. 2 days later I called him and we had sex and every since we have been really good friends but also having sex. He seems keen to just hang out with me, I’m more trying to seduce him. But the only problem is I am always calling him, he has never called me first and we haven’t had a conversation about what we are doing because I’m too scared to scare him off. I’m thinking of trying no contact but I dunno if that’s
Going to work coz we are getting along pretty well. Should I just see how it goes and stop having sexual wit him? Or try no contact?

Chris Seiter

October 13, 2018 at 2:20 am

Hi Jess!

So the two of you have some solid history of 4 years and that can act as a bit of a magnet to pull you back toward each other. I would just go slow….little steps, building positive moments. No time for no contact if you are getting along OK

Dolapo

October 8, 2018 at 6:15 pm

My ex boyfriend broke up with me 4months ago. After begging him the day he broke up, I didn’t beg him again. Then after about two weeks later, he called to apologize for everything. I started calling Nd begging him to give us another chance, he said can’t say anything about that. He calls me sometimes. Eventually we started having sex and leaving his place, he ll call me back after 3 weeks. I still want him back.

Chris Seiter

October 9, 2018 at 12:43 am

Hi Dolapo!

Kind of an off on relationship. So that cycle is usually not good. IF he is not showing any willingness to work on the relationship, then consider no contact

Ashley

October 1, 2018 at 12:03 am

Hi, me and my ex were in a relationship for 13 years. We have 2 kids together and about 2 1/2 months ago he cheated.. he is dating her now but last night we had sex. What should I do? I love him and always will but I’m not going to be used for sex. I feel kind of stupid for doing it but then I dont.. I know it was immature but I did it anyways.. he dropped the kids off to me today and he was driving her car with her in it. We didn’t talk. I guess I’m just wondering if he regrets what happened.. I love having sex with him but I really don’t think I want to be with him again..

Chris Seiter

October 1, 2018 at 3:21 am

Hi Ashley!

13 years is meaningful and that can play to your favor. I am sorry he cheated. There is no excuse. Weakness, stupidity, whatever it is that he says made him do it does not excuse it. It is irresponsible. But with all that said, it happens to a lot more couples than you would think and it need not break the relationship forever. Trust can return, though your ex will need to apply him self and have more transparency. Take some time. Utilize no contact. Make him aware this is not punishment, but rather you need to heal and reflect on things and that he needs to do the same. I have a lot information here on my site about NC and the ex recovery process if you go that route.

Priya

September 30, 2018 at 2:34 am

I broke up with my ex years back, but I never forgot about him and I’ve always been in love with him. I was in NC period for about 4years then finally we started contacting each other. Some days he behaved very closely to me and made me feel he still have feelings for me but sometimes he distance himself and reminds me that I’m just his friend and nothing more. I want him back and I’ve always tried so many methods to get him back on my arms but he just won’t commit to me. Worse thing now, we went for a dinner and he began to kiss me and we ended up having sex but he acted like nothing happened the next day and left. What do I do ? I love him so much but I feel like he has just used me for sex and nothing more than that. I want him back, what do I do ? Please help

Chris Seiter

September 30, 2018 at 5:33 am

Hi Priya!

That is a long NC period! Some guys are just so slippery about making a commitment. But maybe that tells you something.

Nicole

September 3, 2018 at 11:33 pm

Hello Chris,

My ex ended things almost a little over 2 weeks ago. Due to fighting regarding his ex wife. One particular argument I guess just pushed it over the edge. I’ve been doing pretty well with no contact (unless he asked a question through text, needing his stuff etc; ) I was devastated when he ended things but didn’t beg or plead. I agreed we needed space and said we were arguing too often which was taking a toll. (even though I was sad and the breakup blindsided me, I tried to stay strong) I took a personal day from work to be sad (we work for the same company which is tough but I don’t see him much) but went back the next day and have been acting happy and positive around him. He has been texting me here and there to ask for his things, but I never contact him first. He texted me two nights ago asking if I wanted to hook up, I said sure. He said “no questions though let’s just please eachother. Please don’t hold this against me or us, otherwise we can’t do this.” aka he didn’t want to discuss details of our relationship or getting back together. I agreed and said “no expectations, take care of me I’ll take care of you.” so we had sex yesterday. It was great if course, we didn’t talk about us just kind of did the deed. I regret it somewhat because I don’t want him to take advantage but at the same time I thought, why not? Just act like the sex doesn’t matter to me and don’t bring up us as a couple. I told myself I will not be intimate again because I don’t want to become FWB. I’m afraid he’s not going to reach out now that he has his things and we had sex. I want him back, I just don’t want to be used. I’m kind of at a “we had sex, now what” point. Please help 🙁

Chris Seiter

September 4, 2018 at 9:32 pm

I agree….FWB is not always a good path for many people. Perhaps you should pull back and re-evaluate things for a few days.

rose pal

September 1, 2018 at 8:48 am

I had been in a relationship with my bf since 4 months. We had this on and off relationship. We had our Breakups 4 times. And he always concluded that it was 99% my fault. It was my fault somewhere but it was not all of it. We had our breakup because i told some of the things that was supposed to be between us only to his bestfriend. So according to him i broke his trust many times. After some months we talked and we decided to meet and we had sex and he told me that we will be in a silent relationship where i will not tell anyone that we are back. But again i told his best friend that we are in silent relationship. His bestfriend had crush on me and he kinda used to chat with me with full expectations so i told him that i m in relationship with”my ex”. My exbf got offended and threw many cuss words (bitch,dumbest etc)on me at the time of breakup.After 1month again we met and again we had sex,but this time he said directly that we are”friends with benefits” and we made this deal that we will fulfill each other needs and will come in relationship next year. So basically i am doing this deal so that i can regain his trust. As he said that sex can make him trust me again.what should i do now? If i say no to sex then he will say me”deal will not change” as he said earlier when i tried once. But later when i talked he said that he atleast want to do it once. We even don’t talk in front of ppl much, pretending that we are nothing(this also has long story).

Chris Seiter

September 2, 2018 at 3:58 am

Hi Rose!

No woman deserves to be cursed at like that. He seems to be using sex for his purposes.

Lara

August 30, 2018 at 7:54 am

Hello,

So my exboyfriend and I (both 29) broke up 6 months ago (he broke up with me because his feelings werent strong enough, we had been together for 1 year). And we have been no contact since then, we just met twice to pickup my stuff.
2 weeks ago we started talking because I saw he was selling a ticket that I wanted..so we decided to met up. We spent an amazing evening together, talking, laughing, he was bringing up memories of old times, he asked me to go have dinner so we did, he said he found some of my clothes at his place..so we went and I picked them up, we talked for a while more and decided to watch Friends as we used to do…after 2 chapters he started caressing my arm and being sweet, in the end we had sex and we slept together kind of hugging each other, in the morning we did it again and everything was pretty normal, not weird or anything like that. That day we talked on whatsapp a bit about regular stuff and he brought up what had happened the day before and said that he hoped we agree that what happened didnt change anything, and I agreed..although my feelings for him are still there…I didnt say that.
During this last week we have been talking everyday..he said he had been looking at pictures of us and he sent me some pics of me doing funny faces and stuff..The conversations mostly have been kind of flirty and sexual but also regular stuff like hows your day going etc..There was one conversation were I he said he was confused about something I had said, I asked why he was confused and he said that hes only sure about his name, about everything else he is confused. I really dont know what that meant and if he was talking about me..He asked to meet up again cause he wants to “watch Friends”, but he also mentioned going play table tennis as we used to and go have dinner etc…so we will, next sunday. He insisted on meeting up before and I said I couldnt..so we will meet up on Sunday.
Now, I see he is mainly interested on sex, he is very physically attracted to me..but he also has been sweet and funny like when we were together. So I am very confused..I know he is on tinder and he is open to find someone else, but maybe I can do something to change his feelings for me?
I have changed quite a bit during those 6 months, I have improved physically and with my social live and job. So maybe there is still a chance..I do not want to be only a friends with benefits

Chris Seiter

August 31, 2018 at 3:08 am

I agree….steer away from the friends with benefits and continue to reinforce your value with class, but he needs to show some maturity and interest in a stable, committed relationship. You are not his play thing.

Rach

August 20, 2018 at 4:03 pm

Hello there!

So I have recently started to become more in contact with my ex from about 5 years ago…I haven’t really found anything on your site related to such a long time period. Short story, we dated for about a year in senior year high school/freshman yr in college. We had great chemistry but ultimately he knew he wanted time to go and be a player and I wanted commitment. So we broke up. We have seen each other for coffee about 4 times in the past 5 years and we have recently been more in contact. Now, I know 100% he is a player. We have gone on an ice cream date, but he lived in another state and was only visiting home for a few days. It meant a lot that he put time aside for me because he doesn’t come home often and is very close with his friends and family. So he’s back home for another visit and the other day, he asked me to go fishing with him at a secret spot he knows. So I went with him. We ended up “fooling around” but I made sure to tell him that I wasn’t going to have sex with him. He respected that. I just wonder if fooling around is just as bad as having sex?

Chris Seiter

August 20, 2018 at 8:11 pm

Hi Rach!

Well, they are both intimate acts. Are you trying to re-establish a relationship, even though you perceive him as a player?

Gabriella

August 8, 2018 at 10:10 pm

Hello Chris, my ex boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me for a lot of reasons, mainly because we had a toxic relationship and i was his first girl friend(high school sweetheart) so he wanted to be single and meet new people. He broke up with me 1 month ago and i was in a no contact zone for 3 weeks because earlier i tried to get back with him but i realized it was too soon and he didnt want to so i applied the no contact rule with politely telling him. A few days ago something very important happened to me and i thought he should know. After letting him know he thought maybe we should see each other to talk about it and we both knew it wasnt a really good idea. But we still saw each other and after talking, the tension has risen, we had sex 3 times that day and he slept over. Of course now im at the starting point again and i feel like a hopeless idiot. I think im falling in love with him again..and i asked him if he wanted to do something but with he said after hes meeting with friends. Obviously hes avoiding spending time with me and knows theres no point if he does. The sex felt amazing as im sure it was the same for him. My ex is a very rational, logical and black or white kind of guy and im pretty sure he still thinks we cant be together. I dont think he will chase me after this even for sex. I think he knows me to well to think i can be in a FWB relationship with him. Also he told me he had temptations of seing me and all before i contacted him but hes strong enough to deal with them. My question is how do i (try) to get him back after all of this and knowing his not easily influenceable? By the way he tried to break up with me a few times in the past and never had the strength of loosing me but when he finally made up his mind everything ended.
Christina

August 2, 2018 at 11:10 pm

Hi! My ex boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and we broke up 4 months ago. For the first two months after our breakup, I was doing well and I often agreed to have sex with him occasionally. We stayed friends since we always see each other and we have the same circle of friends. Now, our friends made me realize how big of a loss he is and I am now desperate to have him back. But too late because he has completely moved on (or so I think). But we had sex again yesterday (which was totally inevitable because it’s the first time we had been alone together in a span of two months) and I really don’t know how to relate to your theories because I see no changes between us (since we have always been friends from the very start, we still talk to each other). And it’s really hard for me to move on now, especially when I see him all the time. (I can’t just ignore him since the only friends I have are also his friends). What should I do now? Should I move on and do not think that our sex had meaning? Thank you so much in advance.

Chris Seiter

August 3, 2018 at 12:14 am

Hi Christina!
why did you guys breakup?

Anni

May 12, 2018 at 10:06 am

Hey… My ex recently contact me after we broke up about ten months ago and we actually just dated for about six months. We ended really bad and we were swearing at each other then blocked each other on every social media account. Then he left to another city. Recently he went back my city for i don’t know how long and unblocked me but not following any of my account. Then he texted me like “hey how are you can we forget about the past and move forward like we can hang out” i said no then days later he texted me saying can me meet? I don’t know why I just said fine and then we met at my place. We talked a bit and then had sex. After that he said he need to do something and said he’ll come back tomorrow and told me to text him. Later that day I felt i shouldn’t sleep with him anymore so I texted him like we shouldn’t see each other anymore. And he didn’t reply. After one day I regretted it and said can you come later he said no. After that we just had basically no contact. What should I do now?

Chris Seiter

May 12, 2018 at 11:49 pm

Hi Anni….well, I think you utilize no contact, but more for your own recovery. Give yourself some time to really think about whether you wish to invest more of yourself in this relationship. To a good look at whether this the person you wish to spend your life with based on all that yo know about him. If you think its worth it, then you will want to have an action plan. You should take a look at a book I wrote called, Ex Recovery Pro. In it I offer a blueprint on all the things you should consider and do. You can learn more about it in my website’s Menu Section under “Products”. It may help you with the path you should take.

Namy

April 30, 2018 at 5:40 pm

OMG! I wish that I have read this earlier! I and my ex had a crazy love in 4 years, then we broke up 2 years ago, and I did a long NC (about 1 year). A few months ago, he started contacting me and said he always loves me and will love me forever, but he also thinks it’s difficult to get back together as he is scared that we would repeat everything again and he would get hurt. As he is not sure yet, so I said I am not sure yet either. He chatted with me every day, waked me up to do gym every morning, supports me sweetly,…. everything was good until we had sex 🙂 We had “online Whatsapp” sex, it was wonderful, both of us never had something like that before. But as I found we are not committed yet, so I told him to stop having sex with me because it made me feel not safe. We talked, we agreed, and then… we did it again. The last time, I brought it up, and he seemed not very interest like before anymore. He even didn’t answer me at the end. It seems right now I want sex much more than he does 🙁 I feel so bad now. I have the feeling I am not charming anymore, he lost his respect for me. It’s hurt. Of course, I hear you shout, no more sex for him. My questions are: 1. Should I do no contact again, 1 month? (I just did a long year NC and just got back, but I feel I need to gain his respect again). Or should I just wait until he talks back? 2. Should I ignore him on Whatsapp (the only way we contact now. We have Facebook and Skype but he hates to use them) to let him know I don’t like and don’t like his way to treat me now? Or just leave it like a door for him in case he wants to talk back? I feel so hurt and loss now, I have checked around the internet and I think you are the best, so I am waiting for your advice. Thank you a lot.

Namy

May 2, 2018 at 12:46 pm

He sent me a nice message, pretended like nothing happened. (He sent me 9 messages but deleted 8, I can read only 1). What should I do? 1. (My style): Tell him honestly and peacefully that how I feel (he hurts me), and how I expect from him (be polite and show his respect to my feelings, no matter he loves me or not, wants to have sex with me or not). 2. No contact (3 weeks? 1 month? And after that should I tell him what I feel?). 3. Friendzone him and play “The ball on a string)? What is your professional advice? We have had an on/ off relationship for long years, and both of us got a lot of pains through that. I think this time is the last chance for us I hope you will give me an wise advice that helps me don’t do stupid mistakes (like to have sex with ex without commitment 🙁 ) again. Thank you a lot!
Chris Seiter

May 3, 2018 at 1:17 am

Namy…you do have my ebook (Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro) to guide you through this process, right? If not, you might want to take a look as it will serve as your Companion Guide along the way. He seems to be in some denial. But some guys use this approach to test the waters. Given the on/off relationship for years, I think you adopt a NC posture. But let him know what your are doing and why…that you need time to heal and reflect given the roller coaster ride the two of you have been. Also take a look at my ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book” because it it filled with information that will help you through this period. To break the spell of this on/off again cycle, I do really believe there needs to be a paradigm shift and he needs to see he risks losing you forever. Plus, at the end of this NC period, you will have much greater insight as to what you want. Right now, the chemicals/hormones induced by the breakup is influencing you to some degree. Its like when we breakup, we are still addicted to the other person.
Namy

May 3, 2018 at 3:36 pm

Thank you so much for your advice, Chris. And thank you again for your books, they are really helpful guides. Each time we or my girlfriends have a problem, the first thing I do is to read your writing again, and again Your daughter is so lucky that her papa is also an excellent “relationship professor”
Chris Seiter

May 3, 2018 at 9:44 pm

So sweet of you Namy

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