How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back Permanently- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

693 thoughts on “How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back”

Ashley

April 25, 2015 at 3:15 pm

Hey Chris!
Haven’t commented in a while. So let me first tell you I really like the new design! It’s a bit confusing to navigate at first, but it’s easy on the eyes and overall I love it! Also, LOVED this article, it gave me really good insight. I told you a while back how I was on a blocked from my ex.. Phone included. But he recently like within the last couple of days unblocked me from Facebook! Does that mean anything? And do you think I should try to contact him that way or should I wait a little bit?

Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 10:11 pm

I like the new design too ashley!

I think it means something. He probably wants to spy on you.

No Name

April 25, 2015 at 10:09 am

I’ve made a huge mistake! I started NC in March and did all the things I was supposed to, but the relationship was an on-again off-again type so I should have used a longer NC period.

My ex only tried to contact me once during the 30 day NC period (day 19) but I ignored the message and didn’t respond. The 30 days were up a couple of weeks ago but I didn’t want to make contact straight away as I felt I still needed a little more time. After about 40 days of NC at 1:30am my ex messaged asking if I was dating someone else now. To be honest I was a bit wary of whether it was just a drunken text or him wanting to check that I was still a fall back option etc, so I didn’t reply. The following day at 5am he messaged again saying that no response meant that I was seeing someone else. He also said that he was going to the football tomorrow and wished he was going with me. I didn’t respond for four days and to be honest I made two errors when I did. The first was that I hadn’t read this article by that point so I was applying a shorter NC period (my response was sent after 45 days NC). The second was the stubbornness of my reply, which basically said that I didn’t know what response he expected from me, he had made his choice weeks ago and we aren’t together any more. About ten minutes later he replied “Nice to see you moved on so quickly. Hope you will be happy together. Good luck and goodbye”. I was annoyed by his reaction because I know when we had split up previously he had been messaging another girl. Hours later I messaged back that his assumption showed that even after all this time he didn’t know me at all and goodbye (I’m not 100% certain whether or not he received my last message). I’m now a couple of days on, regretting replying like I did, and in fact now I’ve read this article I regret not staying in NC for a little longer. What should I do now?

– Do I go back into no contact and if so for how many days? or…
– Given my stubborn reply does it now fall to me to send a softer message (but whilst I want him back I don’t want to fall back into the on-again, off-again situation)? or…
– Wait to for him to contact me? or…
– Have I blown any chance with him completely?

I should make it clear that my ex is wrong, there isn’t anyone else. My ex and I were on-again off-again for 2 years and never at any point during those 2 years was I interested in anyone else.

Sara

April 28, 2015 at 6:35 pm

Thanks for replying to my message.

When do you suggest would be the right moment for me to make contact? Its been about a week since I sent that last message. Do I need to leave it longer? And when I do message should I start with the a text like the ones you suggest in your other posts or should it be an apology?
Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 10:06 pm

You should but picking the right moment is crucial.
No Name

April 25, 2015 at 10:35 am

Sorry, I should have also said, my ex lives over two hours away so we aren’t going to just bump into one another at any point. I don’t know if that makes a difference?

No Name

April 25, 2015 at 10:09 am

I’ve made a huge mistake! I started NC in March and did all the things I was supposed to, but the relationship was an on-again off-again type so I should have used a longer NC period.

My ex only tried to contact me once during the 30 day NC period (day 19) but I ignored the message and didn’t respond. The 30 days were up a couple of weeks ago but I didn’t want to make contact straight away as I felt I still needed a little more time. After about 40 days of NC at 1:30am my ex messaged asking if I was dating someone else now. To be honest I was a bit wary of whether it was just a drunken text or him wanting to check that I was still a fall back option etc, so I didn’t reply. The following day at 5am he messaged again saying that no response meant that I was seeing someone else. He also said that he was going to the football tomorrow and wished he was going with me. I didn’t respond for four days and to be honest I made two errors when I did. The first was that I hadn’t read this article by that point so I was applying a shorter NC period (my response was sent after 45 days NC). The second was the stubbornness of my reply, which basically said that I didn’t know what response he expected from me, he had made his choice weeks ago and we aren’t together any more. About ten minutes later he replied “Nice to see you moved on so quickly. Hope you will be happy together. Good luck and goodbye”. I was annoyed by his reaction because I know when we had split up previously he had been messaging another girl. Hours later I messaged back that his assumption showed that even after all this time he didn’t know me at all and goodbye (I’m not 100% certain whether or not he received my last message). I’m now a couple of days on, regretting replying like I did, and in fact now I’ve read this article I regret not staying in NC for a little longer. What should I do now?

– Do I go back into no contact and if so for how many days? or…
– Given my stubborn reply does it now fall to me to send a softer message (but whilst I want him back I don’t want to fall back into the on-again, off-again situation)? or…
– Wait to for him to contact me? or…
– Have I blown any chance with him completely?

I should make it clear that my ex is wrong, there isn’t anyone else. My ex and I were on-again off-again for 2 years and never at any point during those 2 years was I interested in anyone else.

Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 10:06 pm

You should but picking the right moment is crucial.
No Name

April 25, 2015 at 10:35 am

Sorry, I should have also said, my ex lives over two hours away so we aren’t going to just bump into one another at any point. I don’t know if that makes a difference?

Emily

April 25, 2015 at 6:18 am

Me and my ex broke up once, and this is the second time. The last time NC worked on him, and he freaked out. We did get back together. But now it’s not. We had a break up talk when both of us ended up crying saying goodbye to each other. The next day he contacted me but a mutual friend of us told he to stop contact me (I did not know about that). So he doesn’t contact me as he knows I would not answer him anyway; or maybe he just doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. He then told me that we need to meet for the last time to return our things. I agreed but then he did not show up without saying a word. But he still keeps my thing and this is a must return thing. I do not really know why he keeps being silent. So how long should I do NC? It’s almost a month of NC. And I also get a feeling that he currently has a feeling for another girl now as I still stalk him. I’m so afraid to make the first message because if his reply is not as my expectation, I would easily break down then. My ex is kinda not very good in understanding girls’ signals haha.

Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 10:03 pm

You should definitely do 30 days but during that 30 days you need to be preparing.

Emily

April 25, 2015 at 6:18 am

Me and my ex broke up once, and this is the second time. The last time NC worked on him, and he freaked out. We did get back together. But now it’s not. We had a break up talk when both of us ended up crying saying goodbye to each other. The next day he contacted me but a mutual friend of us told he to stop contact me (I did not know about that). So he doesn’t contact me as he knows I would not answer him anyway; or maybe he just doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. He then told me that we need to meet for the last time to return our things. I agreed but then he did not show up without saying a word. But he still keeps my thing and this is a must return thing. I do not really know why he keeps being silent. So how long should I do NC? It’s almost a month of NC. And I also get a feeling that he currently has a feeling for another girl now as I still stalk him. I’m so afraid to make the first message because if his reply is not as my expectation, I would easily break down then. My ex is kinda not very good in understanding girls’ signals haha.

Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 10:03 pm

You should definitely do 30 days but during that 30 days you need to be preparing.

Isabel

April 25, 2015 at 1:59 am

Hey Chris! I’ve been reading almost all of your articles since tuesday (when I discovered this website) cause maaaan, I love em!

Anyways, my situation is this: My boyfriend broke up with my on april 14th, we’ve been together for 13 months. I have to confess I never felt completely satisfied with the relationship cause 1) I’m just like that and 2) I didn’t liked some things that I did, and some others that he didn’t; but I never told him about it cause I have a problem with confrontation and I also thought everything was in my head. So when we had about 7 months, he forgot his cellphone at my house and I checked it, and I realize that he flirt with several girls througth facebook and with one of them (who was almost his girlfriend) told him basically that he will always be into her even now that “he is with someone who loves and makes him happy”. I reaaally angry and told him to fuck off basically haha, so he begged for me to stay with him…after a couple of days I did. After that, our relationship went downhill…because of me. You see, after that point he started to make some changes and of course he wasn’t perfect but he really put an effort to it. Despite all of that, I felt very insecure and paranoid…like REALLY PARANOID. We started to spend too much time together and invaded each other, we became very dependent on an emotional level (on the brightside, we were also very connected). The problem is that not only I was paranoid and addicted, but he is also very controlling and jelous (maybe cause he is 17 and I’m 23, yikes), besides all of him friends told him I was so pretty and guys stare at me sometimes so I guess he was a little…intimidated? I dunno. The point is that I played with him and I broke up with him like 3 times a week and he talked me out of it in such a sweet manner, there was a time when I cried and he is usually cold. Also our fights kept growing, we were having epic fights (yell and all) about 3 to 4 times a week. So one day I broke up with him but kept talking. That day I went out w/ friends and realize I have been dumb about it (it’s the first serious relationship for both). So I made a few things to recover him (we broke up for 4-5 days). I’ve been doing fine but then I got back to the same behavior so he broke up with me, I begged him not to and we got back (we didn’t really broke up that time), and he promised not to do that again. Now, after 3 weeks after that happened hw broke up with me during an epic fight…throught facebook, yep. Basically I did a lot wrong cause I behave like an ass on his birthday but then tried to mend it. He broke up with me 3 days after his birthday, saying that the reason had nothing to do with me but because he needs to focus on school (he’s going to apply to college next month). But honestly it sounds like just an excuse because we had agreed that we were going to keep going and I’ll help him study, man he even wanted to spend his life with me, he always kept talking about our house and our life and where we would live and how many dogs we would have, etc. Besides, his college is not in our city but is just an hour away so I don’t think that’s much of a big deal. So I “accepted” his decision. The next day he broke up with me he brought a few books that belonged to me. In my favorite book, he saved a note to me that said that he had to spend his life alone and that he was going to miss me but had to persue his dreams ALONE and that he loves me, and that he hopes I have a great life. He just kissed me on the forehead and say “see you later”, then he left. I haven’t contacted him since friday ( 17th, a week) and i want a second chance, but a mature one, a healthy one. But since he hasn’t contacted me in any freaking way, I have a lot of anxiety and fear…he wants me to beg or really wants me out of his life? Cause neither of them are gonna happen haha just kidding 😉

Isabel

May 6, 2015 at 4:49 pm

Hey Chris, again me. Well my ex unblocked me a week ago (I asked him to do it and he blocked me for 2 weeks) and he started to unlike my post and some of my pictures on facebook, but not all. After a few days, he did it again. Now I stalked his whatsapp and his profile now says: “Appreciate the good moments, because they don’t always come back. Sometimes, only memories left, but those memories go away little by little”. i have to start NC again I guess, after that…but does that mean he is over me?
Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 10:01 pm

Glad you are liking the website.

Well, a 17 year old kid is definitely not as mature as you are about things.

He probably does want you to beg.

Isabel

April 25, 2015 at 1:59 am

Hey Chris! I’ve been reading almost all of your articles since tuesday (when I discovered this website) cause maaaan, I love em!

Anyways, my situation is this: My boyfriend broke up with my on april 14th, we’ve been together for 13 months. I have to confess I never felt completely satisfied with the relationship cause 1) I’m just like that and 2) I didn’t liked some things that I did, and some others that he didn’t; but I never told him about it cause I have a problem with confrontation and I also thought everything was in my head. So when we had about 7 months, he forgot his cellphone at my house and I checked it, and I realize that he flirt with several girls througth facebook and with one of them (who was almost his girlfriend) told him basically that he will always be into her even now that “he is with someone who loves and makes him happy”. I reaaally angry and told him to fuck off basically haha, so he begged for me to stay with him…after a couple of days I did. After that, our relationship went downhill…because of me. You see, after that point he started to make some changes and of course he wasn’t perfect but he really put an effort to it. Despite all of that, I felt very insecure and paranoid…like REALLY PARANOID. We started to spend too much time together and invaded each other, we became very dependent on an emotional level (on the brightside, we were also very connected). The problem is that not only I was paranoid and addicted, but he is also very controlling and jelous (maybe cause he is 17 and I’m 23, yikes), besides all of him friends told him I was so pretty and guys stare at me sometimes so I guess he was a little…intimidated? I dunno. The point is that I played with him and I broke up with him like 3 times a week and he talked me out of it in such a sweet manner, there was a time when I cried and he is usually cold. Also our fights kept growing, we were having epic fights (yell and all) about 3 to 4 times a week. So one day I broke up with him but kept talking. That day I went out w/ friends and realize I have been dumb about it (it’s the first serious relationship for both). So I made a few things to recover him (we broke up for 4-5 days). I’ve been doing fine but then I got back to the same behavior so he broke up with me, I begged him not to and we got back (we didn’t really broke up that time), and he promised not to do that again. Now, after 3 weeks after that happened hw broke up with me during an epic fight…throught facebook, yep. Basically I did a lot wrong cause I behave like an ass on his birthday but then tried to mend it. He broke up with me 3 days after his birthday, saying that the reason had nothing to do with me but because he needs to focus on school (he’s going to apply to college next month). But honestly it sounds like just an excuse because we had agreed that we were going to keep going and I’ll help him study, man he even wanted to spend his life with me, he always kept talking about our house and our life and where we would live and how many dogs we would have, etc. Besides, his college is not in our city but is just an hour away so I don’t think that’s much of a big deal. So I “accepted” his decision. The next day he broke up with me he brought a few books that belonged to me. In my favorite book, he saved a note to me that said that he had to spend his life alone and that he was going to miss me but had to persue his dreams ALONE and that he loves me, and that he hopes I have a great life. He just kissed me on the forehead and say “see you later”, then he left. I haven’t contacted him since friday ( 17th, a week) and i want a second chance, but a mature one, a healthy one. But since he hasn’t contacted me in any freaking way, I have a lot of anxiety and fear…he wants me to beg or really wants me out of his life? Cause neither of them are gonna happen haha just kidding 😉

Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 10:01 pm

Glad you are liking the website.

Well, a 17 year old kid is definitely not as mature as you are about things.

He probably does want you to beg.

Nix

April 25, 2015 at 12:45 am

My ex and I broke up for the third time. The first time he broke up with me was heat of the moment kind (although almost everyday fights were already going on at that time so he got full of it and exploded) and the next day he came back. A month later, same unresolved issues, everyday fights, insecurities and trust issues (mostly on my part for those two) were still there and he got tired coz I kept on pressing on a lot of things so he broke up with me the second time. I didnt contact him for about 3 weeks but in that span he kept on messaging me how he realized his mistakes and was sorry for it and that he was really letting me go and all that, I didnt say anything. That was until he asked to see me and wanted to talk about “us”. When we met he told me he was really confused about getting back together, that he just wanted to see and talk to me, I also found out he had gone out once with this girl I have been SO insecure with starting early on in this relationship (this girl was someone he had liked before me and had imposed an idea that she was this kind of girl but turns out, with his realization that “all girls are the same”, she wasnt). Though he said that was more of to fill in the void and since they had history she was the most accessible at the time although I argued that if he had really wanted to “see/talk to me” he shouldnt have done that because it just added more damage. Despite confusion we got back again, and things were okay initially but knowing that our doubts and hesitation grew bigger the second time we tried to work it out, we fell back to the same cycle.

So the days the leading up to this final break up he’s been saying things like he’s really tired of everything, he doesnt have the desire/motivation/energy to work on the relationship, he doesnt even know if he actually wants to work it out, he wants space, he’s worried that we might just be each others’ comfort blankets for now but if someone comes along he might have the tendency to cheat (same on my part), he cant see the worth of it anymore, that maybe being single would be better for him to clear his mind and intentions and all that. His best friend had told me just the other day that they were out drinking and my ex was telling him that he loves me why did we have to break up but that he was also tired and that why did he have to prove himself everyday. I know the problem with me is that I ask too many questions, dig up too many issues which contributed to him feeling like I always see something wrong and him having to explain himself but I also wanted to make a point that although he didnt have to prove himself in everything everyday, when he came back he knew he had work to do coz he’d done/said things, lost my trust (this is just him, I know I have my faults too) but it didn’t feel like he had actually done much and feeling that way and escaping through a break up was always his way.

The thing is, from the past breakups he knew I was the type to stay quiet and not initiate any conversations. This last one is no exception but this time I have the NC in mind. This last break up I told him if were gonna do this I’m gonna have to really walk out of his life (even though I dont want to) because thats how I process and he knew exactly what that meant, just like before I wouldnt talk or see him at all. But he already knows that from experience and this time I’m afraid the same trick wont work especially since the breakup was mutual and we had our “parting/closure” message given. I’m on my 11th day of NC and unlike before, he’s been really quiet, he hasnt contacted me at all. I’m worried that he hasnt done anything to get my attention because for him it’s really over and he’s decided to move on, perhaps try things out again with that girl (they had a “thing” but never progressed and I’m afraid his curiosity for this girl is there) or go out on bars and wherever to meet someone and enjoy his being single again.

Nix

May 1, 2015 at 12:14 am

Why do you think that is? Btw a few days ago, around the 13th or 14th day of my NC, he messaged me on facebook (since thats our primary way of communicating ever since) asking how I was, hoping I was fine and that I should aways pray and then he went on to tell me that he’s doing just fine and focusing on important things like his review and working out. I never replied (though Im very tempted to) but it just came off to me as if he was already expecting to not get a response from me so he proactively told me what he’s up to. Does this mean anything? I haven’t heard again from him since, it’s already my 20th day of NC. Is this a good sign? What should I do to keep him hooked, or what should I continue doing?
Nix

April 28, 2015 at 10:09 am

May I ask why you think that is and what I should continue doing? Btw, just yesterday he did message me on facebook (that was our primary form of communication since its free and were both usually online), that’s the 13th day of my NC. He’s asking how I am, hoping I’m doing ok and then went on to tell me that he was doing fine and that he was focusing on his review and working out because he wanted to lose weight. I sensed that he proactively told me his status without me needing to ask because he expected (as with our experience before) I wouldn’t be responding (and I didnt). Is this a good sign? Should I continue what I’m doing or.. what should I do to keep him hooked? Thanks!
Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 9:59 pm

Its a common fear…

That he has moved on from you.

I don’t think that’s what’s happening here though.

Nix

April 25, 2015 at 12:45 am

My ex and I broke up for the third time. The first time he broke up with me was heat of the moment kind (although almost everyday fights were already going on at that time so he got full of it and exploded) and the next day he came back. A month later, same unresolved issues, everyday fights, insecurities and trust issues (mostly on my part for those two) were still there and he got tired coz I kept on pressing on a lot of things so he broke up with me the second time. I didnt contact him for about 3 weeks but in that span he kept on messaging me how he realized his mistakes and was sorry for it and that he was really letting me go and all that, I didnt say anything. That was until he asked to see me and wanted to talk about “us”. When we met he told me he was really confused about getting back together, that he just wanted to see and talk to me, I also found out he had gone out once with this girl I have been SO insecure with starting early on in this relationship (this girl was someone he had liked before me and had imposed an idea that she was this kind of girl but turns out, with his realization that “all girls are the same”, she wasnt). Though he said that was more of to fill in the void and since they had history she was the most accessible at the time although I argued that if he had really wanted to “see/talk to me” he shouldnt have done that because it just added more damage. Despite confusion we got back again, and things were okay initially but knowing that our doubts and hesitation grew bigger the second time we tried to work it out, we fell back to the same cycle.

So the days the leading up to this final break up he’s been saying things like he’s really tired of everything, he doesnt have the desire/motivation/energy to work on the relationship, he doesnt even know if he actually wants to work it out, he wants space, he’s worried that we might just be each others’ comfort blankets for now but if someone comes along he might have the tendency to cheat (same on my part), he cant see the worth of it anymore, that maybe being single would be better for him to clear his mind and intentions and all that. His best friend had told me just the other day that they were out drinking and my ex was telling him that he loves me why did we have to break up but that he was also tired and that why did he have to prove himself everyday. I know the problem with me is that I ask too many questions, dig up too many issues which contributed to him feeling like I always see something wrong and him having to explain himself but I also wanted to make a point that although he didnt have to prove himself in everything everyday, when he came back he knew he had work to do coz he’d done/said things, lost my trust (this is just him, I know I have my faults too) but it didn’t feel like he had actually done much and feeling that way and escaping through a break up was always his way.

The thing is, from the past breakups he knew I was the type to stay quiet and not initiate any conversations. This last one is no exception but this time I have the NC in mind. This last break up I told him if were gonna do this I’m gonna have to really walk out of his life (even though I dont want to) because thats how I process and he knew exactly what that meant, just like before I wouldnt talk or see him at all. But he already knows that from experience and this time I’m afraid the same trick wont work especially since the breakup was mutual and we had our “parting/closure” message given. I’m on my 11th day of NC and unlike before, he’s been really quiet, he hasnt contacted me at all. I’m worried that he hasnt done anything to get my attention because for him it’s really over and he’s decided to move on, perhaps try things out again with that girl (they had a “thing” but never progressed and I’m afraid his curiosity for this girl is there) or go out on bars and wherever to meet someone and enjoy his being single again.

Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 9:59 pm

Its a common fear…

That he has moved on from you.

I don’t think that’s what’s happening here though.

Abby

April 24, 2015 at 11:20 pm

Hey Chris.
I see you mentioned in this article that generally speaking, people who have gotten together again before have higher chances. But I think I may have ruined those with the “deadly sins.”
We dated on and off for a year and a half. Our break ups were never thought out, logical decisions…we would get into a fight every few months and break up. We never really did the whole screaming and insulting thing, our fights were always just very tense disagreements of high emotions where neither party would accommodate.
We got into a fight (about him playing too many video games) like five weeks ago, and broke up. I left him alone for a few days then he called me very friendly like to chat. A few days later I tried to talk to him and he ignored me so I went CRAZY EMOTIONAL. Like, I called him like 35 times and texted him about how him ignoring me hurts me and makes me feel awful etc etc.
He stopped talking to me after that. I tried to contact him every once in awhile, begging /”I love you” for one more week after that and he never replied. I went into no contact and am 2/3 of the way through. I have heard nothing from him.
I have heard that he tells people that he is done with me. He also said he was done dating crazy women in general.

Chris, this is the 4th or 5th time we have broken up. But this is the only time it has been this way. Usually we are back together within just a few weeks, and talking throughout. I am shocked that he hasn’t sent me a single text in over a month and I am honestly crushed.

I deleted him off of most social media, but I still have his cousin, and she occasionally posts pictures of him and he looks so happy. I don’t think he has shed a tear over me because I truly made him think I’m trash he finally threw away.

Is there anything extra I can do to shed this awful image and make him interested in reentering and maintaining a relationship with me? Because he always has come back to me after I beg, but this time it looks like he is done for good.

Abby

May 10, 2015 at 10:26 pm

Chris, nevermind! A few days after my initial texting him, I texted him again and we had a short conversation. Later that night his friend called me saying that my ex was scared to call me but NEEDED to talk to me…when we met up he cried like a baby and begged for me back! He begged for ME to take him back! 🙂 thank you for all of your helpful articles Chris, I followed the instructions in them very closely and got the results.
Chris Seiter

May 11, 2015 at 5:25 pm

You are super welcome Abby!
Abby

May 5, 2015 at 6:14 pm

Hey Chris! You have been super busy and haven’t been able to reply to comments, so I just wanted to post an update so you don’t waste your time replying to that earlier information. I did text my ex using your “I stumbled upon…” example, and I got a positive/neutral response of “Awe lol I’m at your (place where I work.)” I texted him back, he replied, then I said I had to go get ready to head out. So we know that he is willing to respond to me! So far so good Chris, I may not have gotten him to want me back (yet?) but at least I got him to text me back.
Abby

April 29, 2015 at 12:21 am

Chris…I haven’t talked to him in just a few days short of a month now. I deleted him from everything but instagram. I have posted pictures of me having fun throughout the month…but I posted a selfie about an hour ago and he just now deleted me. He didn’t block me, I’m still following him but…he stopped following me…I don’t understand what that means.
Abby

April 27, 2015 at 10:18 pm

I think 4. I was a text and call gnat for one week. I sort of begged…I didnt beg him to take me back, I begged him to talk to me. We got into one fight because I was angry he was ignoring me. And I told him multiple times that I love and miss him.
I did hear something that maybe is a tiny beacon of hope for not necessarily getting back together but at least talking. …his friend asked if he has talked to me and he said “no she hasn’t texted or called me.” In my head that means “there is no way I’ll contact her first but I’ll respond if she talks to me.”
I just at least want him to not think I’m crazy, even if I can’t get him back.
Please follow up Chris. Thank you.
Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 9:57 pm

How many deadly sins did you commit?

Abby

April 24, 2015 at 11:20 pm

Hey Chris.
I see you mentioned in this article that generally speaking, people who have gotten together again before have higher chances. But I think I may have ruined those with the “deadly sins.”
We dated on and off for a year and a half. Our break ups were never thought out, logical decisions…we would get into a fight every few months and break up. We never really did the whole screaming and insulting thing, our fights were always just very tense disagreements of high emotions where neither party would accommodate.
We got into a fight (about him playing too many video games) like five weeks ago, and broke up. I left him alone for a few days then he called me very friendly like to chat. A few days later I tried to talk to him and he ignored me so I went CRAZY EMOTIONAL. Like, I called him like 35 times and texted him about how him ignoring me hurts me and makes me feel awful etc etc.
He stopped talking to me after that. I tried to contact him every once in awhile, begging /”I love you” for one more week after that and he never replied. I went into no contact and am 2/3 of the way through. I have heard nothing from him.
I have heard that he tells people that he is done with me. He also said he was done dating crazy women in general.

Chris, this is the 4th or 5th time we have broken up. But this is the only time it has been this way. Usually we are back together within just a few weeks, and talking throughout. I am shocked that he hasn’t sent me a single text in over a month and I am honestly crushed.

I deleted him off of most social media, but I still have his cousin, and she occasionally posts pictures of him and he looks so happy. I don’t think he has shed a tear over me because I truly made him think I’m trash he finally threw away.

Is there anything extra I can do to shed this awful image and make him interested in reentering and maintaining a relationship with me? Because he always has come back to me after I beg, but this time it looks like he is done for good.

Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 9:57 pm

How many deadly sins did you commit?

No name

April 24, 2015 at 4:40 pm

So my ex and I have always been off and on. This time I felt like he really wants to experience more girls, yet he keeps coming back to me. The other night tho, he made me mad cuz he was saying how another girl was coming to his house, where then I threatened (out of panic) to go to his house and tell her about me. I would never do that, but he believed it and cancelled his night. We messaged a bit, and this is where I lied to get him to come over. I said I had a check to give him from work for $1500 (cuz he used to work with me), I knew that would get his attention but thought wtf did I just say! He came over, I played it like I’ll give it to him another day, We talked, he was already mad that I made him cancel his night, but we did have sex, and said then before he left said he needed some space. Well come yesterday He couldn’t reach me so he called my work asking about the check, I got in trouble, so I called him, told him the truth that there is no check, that I just wanted him to come over bcuz I was upset over the girl. He said “so you lied about about a $1500 check, I’m at work”, and hung up, then blocked me on Facebook. FB is our everyday of communicating. In 3 years I don’t think he’s ever blocked me.
Oh! And I should mention, my stupid girl friend for some reason called him left him a voicemail saying how I’m sorry about lying about the check and to call me so I can apologize!
How pathetic and gross! I am mortified. Don’t feel a good chance now. I am not chasing, I haven’t reached out. What are my chances of him unblocking me or forgiving me for a lie like that??? Is it cuz it was elaborate?

No name

April 27, 2015 at 9:00 pm

He unblocked me lol. But he just hasn’t said anything yet lol. Thanks Chris!!!
Chris Seiter

April 24, 2015 at 11:06 pm

Well, they are quite good to be honest.

No guarantees obviously but from everything you said due to your on again off again nature he will probably be drawn to you again in a few weeks or months.

No name

April 24, 2015 at 4:40 pm

So my ex and I have always been off and on. This time I felt like he really wants to experience more girls, yet he keeps coming back to me. The other night tho, he made me mad cuz he was saying how another girl was coming to his house, where then I threatened (out of panic) to go to his house and tell her about me. I would never do that, but he believed it and cancelled his night. We messaged a bit, and this is where I lied to get him to come over. I said I had a check to give him from work for $1500 (cuz he used to work with me), I knew that would get his attention but thought wtf did I just say! He came over, I played it like I’ll give it to him another day, We talked, he was already mad that I made him cancel his night, but we did have sex, and said then before he left said he needed some space. Well come yesterday He couldn’t reach me so he called my work asking about the check, I got in trouble, so I called him, told him the truth that there is no check, that I just wanted him to come over bcuz I was upset over the girl. He said “so you lied about about a $1500 check, I’m at work”, and hung up, then blocked me on Facebook. FB is our everyday of communicating. In 3 years I don’t think he’s ever blocked me.
Oh! And I should mention, my stupid girl friend for some reason called him left him a voicemail saying how I’m sorry about lying about the check and to call me so I can apologize!
How pathetic and gross! I am mortified. Don’t feel a good chance now. I am not chasing, I haven’t reached out. What are my chances of him unblocking me or forgiving me for a lie like that??? Is it cuz it was elaborate?

No name

April 27, 2015 at 9:00 pm

He unblocked me lol. But he just hasn’t said anything yet lol. Thanks Chris!!!
Chris Seiter

April 24, 2015 at 11:06 pm

Well, they are quite good to be honest.

No guarantees obviously but from everything you said due to your on again off again nature he will probably be drawn to you again in a few weeks or months.

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