How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back Permanently- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

693 thoughts on “How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back”

EM

February 28, 2016 at 12:27 pm

Hi Chris,
I’ve previously followed your advice and it worked fantastically, my ex and I got back together. He was the one who originally broke up with me and now it’s happened again :(. We had a couple of arguments and to control the situation he broke up with me again. I just want to know if it’s worth following the same plan again (the longer NC rule, etc) and if it’s even possible for it to work twice.
The first time we broke up, I was the one who initiated the NC, but now he’s said he doesn’t want any contact so we can both get over the relationship. I know he misses me and still loves me, he just doesn’t know how to deal with things when they don’t go perfectly. He’s adamant that we can’t be together again.
At first, I contacted him, but he said it was too painful, so now I’ve just left it. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go through all the steps again if there’s definitely no chance of reconciliation.
Any advice/thoughts would be appreciated. Thank you.

Em

February 29, 2016 at 8:39 am

Hi Amor, I haven’t been contacting him because I don’t want to push him. I’d just like to know if you think it’s possible to get an ex back twice.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2016 at 9:41 am

yeah it is 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 28, 2016 at 3:49 pm

Hi Em,

I know you know we can’t guarantee it will but it seems like you have no other choice too but to not contact him because he might get more annoyed if you keep pushing.

ladie

February 18, 2016 at 3:06 am

I had met a man that appeared to be amazing about a year and a half ago. We are very similar and shared many great moments together. We lived in two different cities and have a 6 year age gap but we still worked it out because we really wanted to. About three months into our relationship I discovered that he was also seeing another girl and asked if i was okay with it, because he was polyamourus. I said i wasnt sure but i would try because thats a part of him. A little while later he told me that I was special enough for him to try monogamy, and that was that. For a while he was becoming more distant and difficult to keep up with, but he was always really happy to see me when he could and was very apologetic. We had fights about him not giving me enough time. He also kept leaving the country for work and became very tired and angry at life. Eventually he decided that he couldnt put up with my emotional issues as well as his own and he left me, saying that he really wants to be friends. I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore and he got very upset. We did not talk for a while, but not 30 days. When we did talk again it was positive as I had read many ex boyfriend recovery articles and did not want my emotions to get the better of me and I knew he was the man I loved and wanted. I had tried to work on myself and be healther, and I honestly felt like I did that. When we hung out once, it was good. By this time I was living in the same city as him. About a month and a bit later after we broke up, he asked me to help him get his job back at the seasonal job we met at. So I did. This meant that we spent every weekend together and we also had the same transportation. So we would see each other a lot. Eventually, we fell back into the relationship. This time he seemed so much better. He was responsive, and supportive. He was there for me. He was very sweet and genuine. We had joked about the break up or that if he left I would chase him around the world. Then he became worse. He was very distant again and hard to get a hold of. He got very sick and would constantly complain about being tired and unhealthy and not having enough time. He got angry at life again. He also had to move houses. I knew all this must be very hard for him so I tried to be there for him but he wouldnt give me any time and wouldnt respond to my messages happy or mad. Then, I found out in person that he was still seeing the other girl I had found out about 3 months in. When we talked about it he said he had been seeing her in an open relationoship on and off since a bit before him and I, and that he cares for and has feelings for both of us. I said okay and I understand that. I said that I was only thinking about him and I from then on. He asked what we do from there and I said I would try to be okay with it if he is and he said he’s not. He said he has so many issues right now that he can’t be worrying about me all the time, and he needs to worry about himself. He said he needs to step back from a lot of things and focus on having time to do the things that he loves and get healthy again. He said that he makes me sad and he doesn’t want to do that anymore. He said he doesnt want to drag two people that he cares about a lot through his mess and treat them badly. I tried to tell him that he makes me happy and this is my choice. He asked to take a break, but that we can still talk and hang out sometimes. I forgave him for not being honest with me at times. I still want to be with him and I understand polyamory. How can I convince him that he doesn’t need to worry about me as much as he does when we’re together? How can I get him to focus on the good?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 2:09 pm

Hi Ladie,

For now just give him space so, he can think clearly.. In getting him to focus on the good, you can only influence him by being optimistic a d understandjng but it’s his decision how to think..

Nora

February 14, 2016 at 12:36 pm

So ive been on and off w my bf for 7 mos now. Our love is intense, consuming and beautiful. We are in off phase now. We broke up bec i didnt tell him i dated someone during our off phase. He suddenly knew it. And i lied about it at first. Then he forced me into saying the truth telling me everything will be ok if i will just be honest. Then i just said yes. After that he told me that we are really over. I replied in a bad way. And then explained to him what happened. He blocked me on everything. I tried to change my num. And he still blocks me. Now he has someone new, after 5 days of the break up. They started chatting and planned to move in together. Im just hurt. We are still not talking now. We broke up last feb 3. I want him back so bad. What should i do if there is a new girl involved. The sad part is. The new girl is messaging me about them.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2016 at 10:53 am

Hi Nora,

why would she message you about them? That is just rude.. Do nc and let them be for now.. it won’t help of you try further… improve yourself and be active in posting it put captions that you’re pertaining to them or you’re doing it to make him regret what he did.. let the photos do the talking.. he or her will probably check your profile so, make it productive…
Nora

February 14, 2016 at 12:40 pm

Ps he always breaks up w me bec he feels he cant trust me. I think he hates me so much and even disgusted at me. He really sham me when he is mad. I dont know if i should give him up to his new girl or fight for him. Right now he is in europe and i am in asia. The new girl is also in asia so they are only chatting. They havent seen each other for a long time but they are close friends.

Carly

February 13, 2016 at 3:51 pm

My boyfriend and I have been doing the on/off phase for two years now. But now we have a 2 month old son. He just up and left me last night. He told me that we argued too much and he just couldn’t do it anymore right now. But, we have promise rings. So he told me that he wants us to continue to wear our rings, leave our FaceBook relationship status the same, take some time apart and work on things separately, but have communication because of our son. I am confused. We broke up but it’s like in a way, we are still together. I have also been suffering from postpartum depression and trying to go to Nursing school full time, and take care of a new baby, it’s a lot on someone. I’m wore out and stressed. We would argue because I would complain that he wasn’t home enough to help me with the baby and that I wanted more time with him (even though we pretty much live together), I feel like I don’t see him as much. Yesterday, he randomly sent me sweet messages about how much he loved me and all the reasons why he loved me, then when I got off work, I caught him showing dirty pictures of me to his buddy (5 feet from me!!) so I got upset, then a few hours later, he broke up with me. I am so confused and have no idea what to do. I don’t know if he is wanting to just take a break (again) or if he done for good or what? I’m just so lost.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 14, 2016 at 4:43 am

Hi Carly,

What he did with your pictures is very disrespectful. You were right being angry about that.

But with what he said, I think he meant just to take a break,not really break up

ashley

February 12, 2016 at 9:20 pm

my ex now and I broke up twice in the last year. the first time we broke up it was over a fight and things got really heated. we started sleeping together and hanging out almost immediately after but didn’t become official again for a couple months. once we did become official he was telling me how much he was into me and was ready to be with me. we spent everyday together. we got into another fight and he didn’t want to see me so I panicked. after a week of him being cold I called him upset and basically forced him to end it. we talked a few days later and he said he felt the same way. that we had no future together and it was wrong.
we’ve only gotten into 2 major fights and each led to our break up. I really love him and want to work it out. do you think it’s possible?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 13, 2016 at 11:30 am

Yeah I think you have. You just need to have a kind of like time off from the effect of the fight. Try it even just for a week of not talking and when you talk again, be calm, if he wants to try again right ahead, talk about how you should address fights.. how you should handle fights..

If not do nc at least 21 days

Stella

February 1, 2016 at 2:17 am

Hi, so my boyfriend and I were together for about 7 months before the first time he broke up with me. Normally the next morning he would text me saying how stupid he was for doing it and how much i mean to him and how I’m the only person in his life that truly cares about him. He would normally break up with me because he “didn’t want to be in a relationship with me” or he “has no feelings for me”. he normally breaks up with me when i say something that he doesn’t like. I always gave him the benefit of the doubt because i know he’s going through things and he doesn’t think before he acts. Two days ago, after I was telling him that he should probably stay in the night and relax because he was sick, he said that he didn’t have any feelings for me and i didn’t make him happy. So we’ve been in contact a little bit these past few days and every time i ask if he’s really happy now he leaves or blocks me. which led me to believe that he really doesn’t feel that way but i could be wrong. Normally we would’ve been back together by now so do you think its really over? Do i have a chance? I’m going to try the no contact thing because i think he secretly likes when i become a text gnat and once he realizes that I’m not trying anymore he might try to get back into my life.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 2, 2016 at 11:43 am

Hi Stella,

Why does he always say that? Is it just because he’s not honest with the reason of breaking up? that he got hurt that moment? If so,you have to talk about being more open to each other and also, it’s not surprising that he’s not contacting immediately after a number of breakups because he got tired of doing it again and again. It’s not to say that he has moved on already, but he’s used to it.So maybe he got a bit more dismissive.

Dora

January 27, 2016 at 12:08 pm

My boyfriend and I have been on and off for 7 months, broke up about 3 times, and he was the one coming back all the time after I was going on phoning like a mad person and becoming a text gnat, I found your website and the NC seemed to work (all 3 times). He takes strong anti-depressants for anxiety. He walks out easily out of a relationship and often feels as if im in his space. This is what happened again recently. We broke up again and it was ugly. The one reason we broke up is he is seeing a therapist and she advised that he has a lot to sort out and it might be better if he is not in an emotional committed relationship, which I understand. A day after the break up, we spoke over the phone, normal and calm. I said I wanted to support him as a friend as he suggested. We did not confirm anything. I sent an email after our phone call, apologizing and saying thanks for the chat. He replied and also apologized and said he got insecure and angry (ugly things were said). Where do I go from here? I want him back, but now is not a good time for him as he does not know what he wants and thus seeing the therapist to work through his issues. Should we be friends? Should I go NC? Will he come back again after he sorted himself out?

Dora

February 1, 2016 at 10:59 am

Hi EBR, me again! So the dinner was nice and I stayed over. I drove home yesterday morning. He phoned me at about 12. I missed the call. I went out and left my phone at home during the day. (I used to be a text/call gnat). I sent him a message last night at about 8 saying sorry I missed the call. Tried to call once and he didnt answer. He then later phoned…. was a nice “how was your day” kinda call. We text goodnight. I saw he unblocked me from whatsapp this morning but never sent anything today at all. Do I ignore him if he does? or do I keep my texts short and sweet?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 3, 2016 at 3:51 am

Why ignore Dora? 🙂 you’re in the texting phase now right? Keep building the connection by sending short and sweet and intriguing or interesting texts to build up the attraction
Dora

January 28, 2016 at 7:56 am

Thank you for replying. I have booked an expensive “in the sky” dinner for us a month ago which is on Saturday, I cant move the dinner and we spoke this morning and said that we will go together. I am seeing my own therapist on Monday as I dont know if I can see myself being his “friend”. I think to go total NC after Saturday? Being a friend to an EX will never work, will it? I know you are going to reply with “GO NC”
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 28, 2016 at 8:14 am

WOw..well, honestly it’s not always recommended to go nc all the time but if you’re going to meet him already, make the best out of it. Don’t talk about emotions. Don’t talk about getting back together. Just enjoy. Treat it like a first date. Like a restart and the goal of nc is to be friends at first and then end up being back together again.
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 27, 2016 at 3:54 pm

HI Dora,

We can’t promise for sure that he will come back but as per the situation and also what the therapist said, NC is the best solution for now.

Juliet

January 26, 2016 at 5:05 am

Hi Chris!
I really love your website. This page has been very helpful, bit my situation is very different than what you have described. My (now ex) boyfriend has broken up with me twice now. I feel like the underlying problem wasn’t our relationship as a whole, but rather, him taking on too many responsibilities at once and then breaking up when he felt overwhelmed with his life and didn’t have time to put me as a priority. There were no trust issues. Neither of us ever lied or cheated. Disagreements weren’t that bad, but sometimes he would bring up little arguments from the past and argue them out again when he felt frustrated. I hated this and I know it’s something he needs to work on.

Anyway, I was with him for 9 months before the first time he broke up with me, which was precisely 12 days after he got a new, demanding, stressful job, working 12 hr shifts overnight. He blamed me for the breakup, saying we’re not compatable and I get on his nerves, but I knew better, he was just stressed. We were broken up for 2 1/2 months and then he came back once he started feeling less stressed. Things were great again. He was calling and texting several times a day and seeing me every minute he could.
Then, his life got overwhelming again as other things started piling up. It came to a point where he had no time to himself and he stopped calling, stopped texting and stopped making an effort to see me, and got frustrated when I wanted to see him. He finally broke up with me (again) last weekend.
But this time, I got very angry. I had been nothing but devoted and loving and he was just ducking out when I hadn’t done anything wrong. I said things I didn’t mean because I was very upset that he was putting me through this again. This time, he actually blocked me on facebook, not that I see that as a big deal because he was never on facebook anymore. He hadn’t been on in a few months, but I’m guessing he logged on to change his relationship status and block me after our fight.
He’s 24 and I know he is at a point where he is very career focused and trying to establish himself, but it isn’t fair to me for him to leave every time life gets overwhelming and leave me hanging. What should I do? What if he already deleted my number and never wants to talk to me again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 26, 2016 at 2:11 pm

HI Juliet,

With his pattern, there’s a good chance he’ll want to talk again but if ever you get back together, it’s either you accept that he’s like that whenever he’s stressed or you have a very non confrontational talk that you don’t want that to happen again and if ever it does, you have to stick with your decision of whatever it is you’re going to do if he can’t handle his stress levels again.

Maria

January 3, 2016 at 2:25 pm

Hej Chris im from Denmark, and i found your side. and i really need your help.

I have seen this boy in 6 month now. and i have make some mistakes, and it has going up and down.
in the start he was totally on me, and contacted me all the time, sweet thinks. but then i make som mistakes whit some other guys. and in the last month it seems like he docent care. and then it was me there contacted him all the time.

and then i ask him a week a go what this should be to. and he said i dont want a girlfriend and i new from the start, but i docent, in the start i wants me all the time, and he was all ways jelous but then and haven’t contacted me sens, and then i write to him today, to ask how i goes. and he just write good. nothing else.
he docent care at all. 🙁
i really want him so much!
Please help. From Denmark.

Maria

February 9, 2016 at 10:02 pm

I will do the NC now! i haven’t contacted him since. because i dont now what else to do. he docent want me , he just want some. that night i think.

so ill do it!

thanks.
Maria

February 8, 2016 at 7:31 pm

im so embarrassing over that i write again, but i dont wanna do something wrong. but…
friday night i was out whit some friends, and yes of course i meet him, i was drunk and i took him home to me. and yes…
he was there all day and we saw movies and stuff.he write Saturday “thanks for last time friend”
but what now?

our friend group its splittet up because he was one of my friends before, and now my friends is talking whit him again( they haven’t talk to him sins we started dated) , and things never get the same. its me there is ben holding outside now, because im the only girl ind the friend group and boys will be boys.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2016 at 9:23 am

So, that means during nc right? do you plan on starting over nc? or going on like this?
Maria

February 5, 2016 at 8:37 am

so i guess the only thing there is to do, is hold on in the 30 days, just to have a little hope??
and i think he is a little bit jealous, because im a model and when i lay something up on my facebook, and i write to him, he is very mad over the pictures and say that i should get som more pictures and some more attention.
there can’t go a week and then i can’t hold the no contact rule anymore. and i think he really dont care or want me.. i can’t describe that feeling inside me, l
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 5, 2016 at 11:02 am

Yes Maria, 🙂 You have to try it and give it a chance
Maria

February 4, 2016 at 4:39 pm

Hei Amor. i came to writhe to him again… yes i know it docent work. he called me bad things again and said that i should stop contacting him, and go out to all my other boys. but i haven seen other boys sens or something. i can’t live with this anymore. he dosent want me, and thats killing me…..
Maria

February 1, 2016 at 6:26 pm

Thanks for help. i think i have lost him totally, but ill try whit 21 more days. thanks again!
Maria

January 20, 2016 at 7:41 pm

exact! but he docent trust me at all! he asked to see me yesterday but i say no. and same day he say that he dont wanna waste more time on me, and he want some one there not cheating. really mad. and he write some more bad thinks.
i think he knows where he has me, so he can’t do what ever he want and he can’t still come back, he know that! but he says that if i dont have behaved so, then everything was different. should i try one more time 30 days or?
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 23, 2016 at 11:46 am

Maybe just 21 days but this time be productive without seeing other guys. So, he can see that can trust you again
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 19, 2016 at 9:26 am

Hi Maria,

correct me if I’m wrong. You did something wrong with other guys and from n there on , he changed? It looks like he lost trust in you. You need to stop communicating with him for the mean time. Do 30 day no contact period, it’s for him to be more calm, so you can talk to him better. Prove to him, that you can be trusted by your actions

Sarah

December 26, 2015 at 4:05 pm

Hi Chris!
I left him back in August because he had been dishonest with me on a certain situation. Turns out that during one of our fall outs, he was flirting with an ex and it wouldn’t have been my business if she didn’t have a husband and a child. I broke up with him out of anger. Months later we talk from time to time and even though Ive tried to reconcile , he seems to be hot and cold about it, telling me he’s in love with me, but then ignoring me. He’s never been able to leave his exes in his past and that just puts a lot of trust issues between us, especially cause he wanted a future with me. All in all, I stopped speaking to him on December 15th after he reached out in the most immature way, talking about having a dream of me, etc. I didn’t know how to respond to him and I just left it at that.

We have been on this on and off phase for 2 and a half years and we are both 22 years old. I love him so much ..but there’s just a lot of things we need to talk about that we always just swept under the rug.

These past holidays have been difficult not reaching out to him and with the upcoming New Year, I’m afraid he will leave me behind and just forget about me. What should I do? Continue NC? For how long? Please help!
Samie

December 18, 2015 at 7:33 pm

Me and my husband have been together for 2 years now but we already have had been on/off four to five times since we have been together. He always leaves. He thinks that I am not a good wife even when I do all the chores and take care of all his needs. He thinks am not socializing even when am always busy with school and work. He always goes out to have fun with his brothers and friends but sometimes he gets very nice. I am not sure what I can do to get him to commit this time around.

We recently started talking after 3 months of no talking. This was initiated by his family. I asked him if we should get back for the holidays and he keeps telling me that we should wait for a bit. I don’t know what is his motive behind making me wait. He is still going around acting like his single. Please Help.
Yami

December 18, 2015 at 7:06 pm

Hi sir , i just discovered ur site recently and got hooked into it.. i really wanna do the nc rule but evrytime i wanna start my ex would text me and ask me some simple questions like asking where am i.. now, im afraid that if id do the nc rule i could lose him forever since he is acting like he dont care at all and to be honest i begged a bit and he would just say that he is a bad person why would i still love him. I dont know what to do.. im so confused .. he is hot and then cold. Sometimes he seem interested the next he s not.. and i feel so bad about this.. please please help me..
Lyra

December 18, 2015 at 11:10 am

Hi Chris,

I’ve been looking at your website for some time now, and I could use some advice. See, my partner and I have been together for 10 years and have 4 children together. In our 10 years we’ve split up twice, each time it’s been him. Well, not him as in his fault, but as in his choice. He left me.

But, this time it seems different. I’ve always known he would be back once he got his head back together – first time he left was just after our first was born and I suffered undiagnosed post natal depression, and second time he left he had lost his job and became depressed. This time, it feels like he’s panicking! He says, he’s left because he wants freedom, he wants to do what he wants, when he wants and not have to worry about having responsibilities. He feels constrained by the children, and to some extend me – the reason for this, is that he developed a crush on a colleague, which obviously left me feeling reeling as rumours came to me, his colleagues tease him and said things like “if you sleep with her, we won’t tell your mrs” and he began pushing me away as he befriended her more; he says he doesn’t want her, but it made him think “maybe the grass is greener on the other side?”. They have no contact outside work.

The main thing through out all of this has been his indecision – one week he says he just needs time and space, that he loves me and wants us to work, then the next he says he’s done with me, can’t stand me and doesn’t think he loves me anymore.

This week, he has a “I can’t stand you week”, and I’ve decided to go into minimal contact, for my own sake primarily, and I’m using this time to work on me – already lost a lot of weight and gotten into a much better shape. But, when he finished it this time, he said he was ‘absolutely sure’ he was done and that it’s not that we “can’t” fix it, he doesn’t “want” to.

My question is this, do I even have a chance at recovering us? We had a good relationship – at least, i thought so, and am still not really sure what his issues was, other than the greener grass factor. We didn’t argue, had fun, good sex life, open communication.. In fact, just a month before he left we were planning on trying for another baby, then he met the new colleague and decided none of this was worth it (that was his words). He’s even flaking on the kids! I’m sure something deeper is going on, but his colleagues are egging him on to go for the colleague and he’s shut me out completely.

He lives at his mums now and says he loves the freedom! He says he misses the kids, sometimes even me, but we see him less and less. He says, he loves being able to see who he wants (his colleague – I have never stopped him seeing any friends, male or female, except her, because of above reasons, although he doesn’t see her outside work or work related parties/events), do what he wants.

I don’t really know what to do! Can you offer some advice?
Kim

December 17, 2015 at 2:01 am

I told my ex I needed some time away from him the day he “asked for space”) He has a girlfriend right now. I broke the no contact rule on the 19th day. (What a big mistake!) We’ve had like 3 little conversations, both of us too afraid to speak in case we say anything wrong . I’m regretting breaking the no contact rule because I think it would of worked. Because I found out how much he was missing me, etc.. (Even told my friend he still loved and cared for me, asked my family how I was) But now we are “friends” and that is almost worse then NC. Is there a way I can start NC again without hurting his feelings? or him wondering why i came back just to disappear again? Please help!
U

December 12, 2015 at 4:31 am

Hi Chris,
What if my ex kept insisting that he’ll never take me back? I begged for another chance but then tried to think logically. He left me because of my persistent begging. So I stopped begging and just ended the conversation saying bubbye don’t be a stranger. Do you think I still have a chance?
lana

December 7, 2015 at 3:26 pm

hi Chris, i met him through a friend 4 months ago and we live in 2 different countries…he came once to have dinner with me and he was very enthusiastic. and we were supposed to meet during weekend but he didnt come claiming he is sick. then he contacted me 1 week later apologizing and sayin he will make it up..he came again for 1 night 3 weeks ago and things were great. Again once he left he is cold again and detached…i am lost whether to call it off or to continue

Chris Seiter

December 7, 2015 at 3:31 pm

Do you feel like you have made any progress?

Shiv

December 1, 2015 at 9:23 pm

Hi Chis. My ex and I dated from December 2014, became official February this year, broke up in May, got back together in June, and broke up again a week ago. We had a big emotional fight and he said he wanted to break up. We met a couple days ago, went to dinner and a basketball game. It was fun and in a way, it still felt like we were together. After we talked and he said he’s still set on his decision. He said he needs more time and that he does not plan on moving on. He said he wants to reevaluate things after a month. He also said that if we get back together, it will be for a very long time. He wants to stay friends and I said no. I am pretty sure he does not know what he wants. Last time we broke up, he moved on quickly only to realize she wasn’t the right girl for him and he came back to me after NC. I feel like he is going to do the same this time even though he reassured me he wasn’t going to move on for a while. Is it worth initiating NC again and for how long?

Shiv

December 18, 2015 at 4:44 am

Hey Chris! So I competed two weeks of no contact on Tuesday. I also ran into my ex on campus Tuesday. He was wearing a suit because he had a presentation (aka he looked handsome) and I told him he looked nice when he approached me. We talked for 10-15 min just catching up. He lingered for a bit and then gave me a hug. He stopped by again after his presentation for a few minutes. I don’t know what to take away from this… He hasn’t said anything since and neither have I. I’m not even sure if he wants to reevaluate anymore because he hasn’t said anything to me at all during no contact. In fact, he’s become friends with a few girls on Facebook and has been liking one girl’s pictures recently (I was already friends with her). Do I need to restart no contact? Do I need to shorten no contact? I don’t know what’s on his mind and that’s killing me… HELP!!!
Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 12:05 am

Yes but do 45 days of NC since he is expecting to reevaluate after a month. Give him a little scare so he doesn’t control the court anymore. Date other people in the meantime. Make your value higher then any other womans.

Lisa

November 29, 2015 at 11:06 pm

Hi Chris,

I was in a 4 month relationship that my ex boyfriend ended. It was due to bad timing as I was just out of a long term relationship and searching for a new job and couldn’t focus on a new relationship even though I really liked my EX and wanted the relationship. He however felt neglected and I said I understood and walked away. I followed the NC rule and worked on myself and he then reappeared 90 days later. I now was in a great place with a new job and I had a great few months traveling and spending time with friends. I was so excited he initiated contact and we jumped right back in and went speeding along for 2.5 months only to realized we hadn’t worked on what the root of our issues were -really bad communication skills on both sides that lead to hurt feelings and anxiety about the relationship. (Although life goals for both of us- how we want to live our lives etc. is exactly the same. ) So he came to me a couple weeks ago and ended it again as he thought we just weren’t going to make it work and he wasn’t willing to put the effort in as he didn’t think our communication issues were were fixable.
My question is–how do I get him back? and this time I would insist we work on our communication skills and talk about things not just assume the trajectory of this relationship? will he come back?
Jennifer

November 18, 2015 at 9:43 pm

I have an issue, my bf keeps saying he cant trust me …so we obviously fight a lot due to insecurities on both end. A few days ago he told me he was done, he doesn’t want to be with me the whole nine yards… We do live together and he claims he was leaving but hasn’t, now he’s just stonewalling me and when I talk to him I only get one word responses/ I don’t know/ I don’t care responses. I asked him where we stand and he doesn’t have an answer and said he doesn’t care. What should I do? Are we together or not?
pallavi

November 16, 2015 at 11:40 am

hi chris,
me n my bf inrelatinship frm jan2013 dan he broke up wid me june2014 .after dat m convincing him alot bt he treat me poorly with extra confident dan m stopped cntct in october dan he comes to me in december 2014..dan again we r in reln again he broke up wid me in sept 2015 .i was contcted him last at 11october frm dat day m using NC ..he say dat he has no feeling abt me..i dnt knw whats going on..n what to do now …if he comes to me dan what to do.how to know dat he really wants me…

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