5 Critical Ways To Get Over and Move On After Your Ex Dumps You

786 thoughts on “How To Get Over Your Ex Boyfriend”

Mags

March 7, 2015 at 1:50 pm

I Like the article and am a star wars fan as well =) just like the star wars quote “I’m not afraid….”-“You will be.” Im in this really messy situation.

I’m in college Up north in MN, and i’m kind of stuck. My Ex used to be my best friend. we’ve known each other for about 2 years and he confessed to liking me. I liked him back and agreed to meet up and try this “more then friends” thing. after our first date we immediately hit it off. We dated for about 3 months, and he told everybody that he would brake up with me — but me. the next day i found out about it and confronted him. He said it was nothing and dismissed the topic. Later that night he broke up with me over text. Naturally i was upset but put on a brave face and let it go for a week. Until he started my best (girl) friend! The one who apparently encouraged him to brake up with me. she refuses to talk to me and wont even look at me anymore.

Good grief this is long! i’m almost done i promise haha.

A friend of mine just moved from Boston to where i’m at and hes apparently “tumblr Famous” so nobody believes that hes real. i was okay with it until my Ex (the guy above) accused me of photo-shopping him into photo’s and that hes “not real”. He might have thought this because it was about 3 weeks after we broke up but it didn’t stop there! He started calling me a “lying Bastard” and other names i’d rather not mention. I still love him allot and everyone i thought were my friends say i’m crazy, and left me because of him.

admin

March 8, 2015 at 2:32 pm

What do you think of the new star wars trailer?

He seems really hurt over these photos… What does that tell you? It means he still cares.

Noma

March 5, 2015 at 12:59 am

Thx, for this article, but how do I move on when me and my ex still living together due to financial problems?

admin

March 7, 2015 at 5:26 pm

Hmm that is a bit harder.

Is there a plan for the two of you to eventually move out?

Brittany

March 3, 2015 at 11:53 pm

first I really love your advice. My ex and I were together for over 4 years. I have a son that he has raised since he was born. We have lived together for over 3 years. Our cars bank account are connected. We have two dogs as well. we live in Ohio but his job is in Alaska. He has been gone for over a year now. During the year he has been gone he has only been able to come home for a month and a half. Really felt like I was losing him after a out 6 months. We couldn’t talk pretty much at all for 3 months at a time. Not until he was on land could we and he was too busy partying to talk to me When he was on land. I understood that he was on a boat for 3 months and probably needed to go have fun while he could but I also felt like he should want to talk to me too. I ended up cheating on him And I did tell him about it . it was an accident while I was drunk. We were planning a wedding and to have a baby. We are now broken up. After not talking for 3 weeks he has said he doesn’t want to commit but he isn’t ready to give me up. He said he doesn’t feel the same but he won’t let me go. I live him more than anything and we truly had a great relationship before he left for Alaska. I would like to be with him again but I just feel like if I’m his friend well want different things. I love him and want to be with him as more than a friend he doesnt. He gives me hope and tells me maybe we’ll see where being friends goes. I think of him all day even though he has been gone for a year. We have only been broken up for 2 months. I don’t want to hurt anymore and I’m afraid to take the risk of being his friend. I really feel like it will just hurt more if he can’t be with me again but I’m afraid to not take the shot that I have. I don’t know if I should just not talk to him anymore or if I should be his friend when he comes back home.

admin

March 5, 2015 at 8:27 pm

How far did you go on cheating?

Was it just a kiss or more?

Also, if you want to get him back you will eventually need to talk to him. If you don’t want to talk to him though then I would suggest trying to get over him.

stephanie

March 3, 2015 at 3:24 am

Hey Id like to say I actually like this article as well as most do my ex also ended our relationship last week. He was kind of controlling in the fact I couldn’t have friends except one. I am having a hard time with the no contact thing ugh i really miss him for he was everything to me but his lies were piling up against our relationship. There were only 2 things id ask from him which was no lying and to help me out when i needed help and he flipped and broke it off I know im feeling sorry for myself and like I said the no contact is really the hard part for me.

admin

March 3, 2015 at 9:56 pm

Glad you are ready to get over your boyfriend.

What do you need help with to get through NC?

Kira

March 1, 2015 at 11:28 pm

First of all, the advice you give on this website is really unique. It’s a refreshing change from all the cliche Cosmo articles and such that tell you generic methods that you could tell yourself. Well done.
My situation is a bit different. My partner and I were engaged, and have only been separated for a week. I know that with time, I’ll get over him. But I just don’t know if getting over him is the right decision.
He was seriously controling. The last argument we had, he had kidnapped me and my mother rang the police which resulted in an AVO. Police want to charge him, but I don’t. Part of me knows an AVO is for the best, but I can’t stop thinking about how he was a good guy, too. He did everything for me. I don’t know. Sometimes I think I just miss the relationship, but then I remember little things that were unique to him. Things I fell in love with that nobody else in the world could do the same.
I am a lot happier without him. I keep getting surges of endorphins out of nowhere and I feel great. But then he calls, (I don’t answer) and I feel lonely again. I’m okay with lonely, but I genui miss HIM. I know I’m not over him because I keep dreaming about him. I haven’t cried yet. I don’t think I will. But I just really miss him being near me.

admin

March 2, 2015 at 9:31 pm

Haha glad you like my advice!

It’s down to earth I think.

HE KIDNAPPED YOU????

WHAT?

You can’t be serious?

I am not sure if you should be with him if he kidnapped you personally…

Jane S

March 1, 2015 at 12:00 am

Chris, my ex ended the relationship last week and buying your ebook, and then reading this article both helped me A LOT. I don’t really know if I want him back, I plan to get through a month of NC (day three of thirty) and see how I feel. I thought I was a pretty decent girlfriend but the book opened my eyes to another perspective, so thank you for that.
My ex was a great guy, but he was incredibly stubborn and uncommunicative so he bottled up misunderstandings until it affected his romantic feelings for me. He ended up breaking up with me once in February, begged for another chance two days later, and then a week after we tentatively started up again, he broke up with me for good. He told me he couldn’t force his emotions and that he didn’t want to hurt me again. From your experience, do you see someone starting over again further down the line? Do you ever see a guy change his mind after that?
Rachel

February 26, 2015 at 4:29 am

I broke up with my first love 2 years ago. The first year, he wanted me back but I decline and dated someone else. Now he has a new girlfriend and I realize I still love him so much and my current relationship just a rebound. So I broke up with this new guy and try to contact my ex. Yet, he refuse to talk with me and tell me to move on. He even block me on Facebook ,but no matter how much I try to move on, I can’t . I love him so much and can’t seem to move on. What should I do.?

admin

March 1, 2015 at 6:10 pm

Well, did you read the blockign article I wrote?

Kaidee

February 25, 2015 at 7:58 am

Me and my boyfriend we’re dating for two years.
And it never was a healthy relationship. Two weeks
Before the relation ship ended he was acting different.
And we broke up and come to find out he had been
Texting this other girl that I hated . And we’ll i got mad and went off .
And I got suspended from school and now I’m in cops.
And I don’t see him and have no contact with him .
But he was my first everything and I miss him sometimes.
But this girl keeps posting pics of them and there dating now.
And I’m just left here not being happy with my life .
While he’s having fun I wanna be done for good I’m tiierd of dwelling on the past I wanna be happy I wanna know how should I face him when I see him bc I haven’t seen or talked to him in a month ?
Mariana

February 25, 2015 at 2:38 am

Chris, I love your site. I found it really interesting to have a peek into the male mind. I got to the site through this post, so you you might imagine my purpose. I’m opting for category 1, but I wanted some advice. We broke up on dec 16 and I’ve been on NC for a month and a half, just past the holidays. My grandma passed away on Jan 2 and since we don’t share many friends, I wanted for him not to know about this. We have just one friend in common and I asked not to tell him. Even though, he knew and sent me a text on jan 5. Since I was on NC, I didn’t reply. I’m just feeling that not replying wasn’t the decent thing to do, so I’ve been thinking on sending a text just saying thanks and hope everything is ok. And there’s another thing. When he found out he asked my friend why didn’t she tell him and she said bc I didn’t wanted. I kinda feel that made me stand in an unwanted position. So, what do you think?

admin

February 25, 2015 at 9:33 pm

If you are trying to get over him I see no harm in a text saying that.

Getting over him forever

February 25, 2015 at 12:26 am

Gosh, you’re so amazing! Thank you for this post and this brilliant site! I loved this post and I specially loved the ” healthy methods” to recover. Perfectly written. Bravo.

admin

February 25, 2015 at 9:29 pm

Thanks!

Glad you enjoyed it and glad you enjoyed the site. Share it with friends if you can.

Edith.

February 24, 2015 at 9:44 pm

Hi! I broke up with my…this guy like month ago and it was….horrible, but somehow, I got trough the worst part, when you just wanna die and that’s it. And now, I really don’t wanna him in my life, again! He’s just somebody that I used to know… but…there’s one problem… We are going in the same school and driving with the same bus every morning…so it’s kind of impossible to REALLY get over him… And lately he is kind of talking to me, and that really doesn’t help me. And I don’t have the balls to tell him to leave me alone, cuz (yeahh -_-) I like the fact that he still pay attention to me… And I don’t wanna hurt him.. Or myself..

admin

February 25, 2015 at 9:22 pm

I am confused…. Were you dating him?

Did you guys not define things?

Ashley

February 16, 2015 at 11:35 pm

My situation is a little complicated. I’ve read this a lot in other comments but this rings very true for me. My fiancé and I were together for almost 5 years. We live together with my 3 sons and his 2 sons. We’ve been a very blended family for years now and do everything together. We were actually supposed to get married this fall. We had to cancel the wedding deposit, inform the bridal party and all of our mutual friends and family that we decided to call the whole thing off. We hit a rough patch about 5 months ago and were “working on the relationship” to get through the rut we found ourselves in. Out of nowhere he became distant and told me that he had talked to some people and that he didn’t want to work on this anymore. For the last couple of months we have fought, made up, talked about working it out, accepted we wouldn’t, and gone back and forth between a friendship, falling back into our relationship patterns (sleeping together here and there, saying I love you, spending time together) and everything short of saying go to hell and never speak to me again. I am at a place where I FINALLY realize that he is doing whatever he can to ensure things don’t work out including reaching out to multiple femals from his past. I do not want to stay on the hook for him or be some girl he plays house with when it’s convenient for him but I have no where did me and my kids to go at least for another 2 months! I don’t know how to coexist, not disrupt or put my kids through any hurt (since they’ve already endured the divorce of my first marriage) and get over him at the same time?! No contact is out for now. What can I do? I’m completely lost.

admin

February 17, 2015 at 12:44 pm

Ya it is hard especially if you want to get over him in this situation.

Is there perhaps a way you could find another place to live?
Ashley

February 17, 2015 at 1:32 pm

I’m working on it but the only family I have is my sister who has 4 kids of her own and her place is not big enough for me and the boys. We are talking about getting a larger place together but wouldn’t be able to move until may. He can’t leave for similar reasons and his name is on the lease so he wouldn’t want to anyway.

littlemissdoingbetterbutstillmissinghim

February 16, 2015 at 9:21 pm

I am proud to say that I am doing better since the breakup since its only been 2mos and so considering its after a 4yr relationship. And I’ve done mostly all the proper steps into getting over it and moving on. I decided to embrace the pain, cried it out whenever I felt like it, listened to some sad songs to really squeeze whatever pain, sadness and hurting is left out of me. And I believe it has done great things to me, I reached out to my friends, strangers, coworkers and family for advice. I decided not to involve myself to any rebound relationships. I deleted him off any social accounts I have. Initiated no contact since 1month after getting him to admit that he wanted to be single because of the “thrill of the hunt” and that he didnt regret any of it. And its been almost 2months since no contact. I’ve been very active at the gym, changed my eating habits, and trying to focus on school since I’m on my last semester in nursing school. I have a great future to look forward to. all of the decisions I have made, looking back, has made me proud. I have gathered all the dignity I have left and took it with me. I’m glad I left because even though it was hard, I knew I couldnt be treated that way, that I deserved far more better than what he’s giving me. I realized so many things. I can say that I did come out stronger and wiser from this. But there are times that emotional songs get to me and I start crying and I don’t want to be like that in public, right now there are so many fears that I have that I am not sure how to tackle. Also sometimes it bothers me that how can a person just throw away those years spent together when it wasn’t even that bad at all….I still have so many thoughts and fears left. I don’t want to be in a relationship and depend on someone. I want to be comfortable on my own and not fill that void with another person. Will I ever find that person that Is meant for me?
Doricia

February 16, 2015 at 11:05 am

My fiancé wants his ex-wife back. They were together 18 years. We’ve been together a year. To make matters worse, she hasn’t worked a day in those 18 years. He’s a millionaire and I’m thinking she’s missing the life style, not the love so much. Whereas I can finance myself completely. I am independent. She’s not. Naturally, his entire family is standing behind her. I’m well aware she has the “time” benefit. They have a child together, we don’t. He hasn’t asked me to break-up… not in so many words, anyway. I’m heart broken. Seriously. He doesn’t want me to leave and says he’ll sort his family out, but, how can I expect him to choose water over blood? She’s CRAZY, but that’s just my opinion. They’re divorced and I’ve been engaged to him 4 months. She somehow thought it was appropriate to slap me in the supermarket 2 weeks ago. Do I need this drama in my life? Rhetorical question. Even though I know it’s time to retract the claws, I’m really hurting. Especially because he’s being vague about the situation. I told him I’m moving out the weekend. He asks me not to, but says he’ll forever love me and we’ll see each other often. Does he want his bread buttered on both sides? Just get over him and leave him to his sad life? Help…
tara

February 15, 2015 at 11:28 pm

I’m very hurt we broke up 2 days ago how do I get over i
Katrina

February 14, 2015 at 8:29 pm

Hello

My first boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. We had been dating for almost 5 months. Not a lot of things happen in 5 months, but I felt like he was a great guy. But the things that he told me, for why he was breaking up with me was because he “wasn’t happy anymore” and it had nothing to do with me, because I never had a bf before…

I wrote him a letter about the break up, cause he basically broke up with me over FB, so I gave him a hand written letter, on how I felt ( he later told me that the letter made him cry) I told him that I would like to be friends, but I later found out that we should not talk to each other if I really wanted to get over him, and he was sad about that.

I returned his stuff in person too…That was a big thing for me. Anyway…
He said that he didn’t like how he treated me, how he was a dick to me…etc…. I tried to explain to him that he didn’t have to be a dick…people can change. But he goes on saying he wanted a relationship where the people wouldn’t have to change.. I thought to myself “Well if you continue to be a dick, and NOT change your attitude…you won’t have a relationship” But he said he was crying and felt terrible… I felt bad too :/ Any who, I turned to my mom and sister, they gave me some words of wisdom. I returned everything back to him, I didn’t want to burn anything, wanted to show him I was mature enough to deal with all this. I was able to go about a week without talking to him, but his bday was coming up and so was our 5 month celebration (Which we didn’t celebrate) but he was on my mind, and I told him happy birthday…He went on saying he missed me etc etc, and felt bad… That was the beginning of Feb. We have been talking since…and I really don’t know if we should get back together, I don’t want to go through all that again, yes he was a sweet heart, but for the most time he told me that i was annoying him all the time (Our relationship was kind of long distance, I’m going to college and he lives aways away- but still close to my home town, which I would visit every weekend)…So I would only really see him on the weekends, and winter break. And during the week when I had class, all I could do was text him :/ so yeah I could have gotten annoying eventually, and I would try and give him his space, but I guess it didn’t help.

Sooo the problem I have now is, he is trying to get me to hook up with him. Our relationship was rather intimate, but now he’s thinking more and more about it, and he really wants to get with me. I am hanging out with another guy (Not dating him) and my ex knows that. But yeah he is very persuasive, and talks about how it’ll be fun and I am vulnerable, I’ve told him how I miss my cuddle buddy etc. And he’s told me how he misses me, and talks about how we can hang out, and the possibility of getting back together…But I know I deserve better, and I am really not sure what to do.
The whole break up was really hard on me…Thanks for any feedback.

admin

February 16, 2015 at 11:30 pm

Don’t be too available for him.

If the thinks he can have you then he will lost attraction.

Natalie

February 12, 2015 at 4:52 am

Okay so here’s my situation that I really need help on, first thing is my story goes a little like this, me and my ex met when we were freshman in college 2011 at first we weren’t together and we would just have our nights where it was just sex. After 4 months into that we decided to get together. At first he would say he didn’t want a relationship and that he doesn’t want to commit but then we ended up together for 3 years. Those years were amazing we had so much in common and everything worked out. I’m 22 were the same age and in December that just passed 2014 I lost my job and he was getting angry with me and we argued a lot, we also lived at his parents house which made things worse. January came around and he said he didn’t want to be with me anymore and that I needed to move out and go back to my hometown which was an hour and a half from where he lives. So I did but the thing is I still love him he still loves me, and he told me he is trying to get over me. Well we didn’t talk for a few days and then I ended up texting him and after that we started talking normally to each other until just last night he mentioned “why am I talking to you, you’re my ex” and he never texted me again after that until today I asked him why he was doing this to us well he said he just wanted some “me time” he still loves me but he wants to try and forget me and be single. I still want to be with him in the future but I don’t want to lose him. What can I do?
MMM

February 11, 2015 at 3:53 pm

Chris-

I think that your steps for recovery post-break were pretty thought-provoking and definitely reinforce the steps I’ve made since my ex and I broke up a month ago.

There was a period of time after we broke up when all I wanted was to reconcile. I kept thinking, he must be thinking about me as much as I think about him. I’d wonder what was was doing, or if there was any chance he regretted the break-up. However, after seeing messages between him and other girls/his other ex-girlfriend, I realized that there was no possible way I could ever trust him again, should we try something again in the future. Letting go of that hope of any possible reconciliation, whether it’s in a few weeks or in a year, was one of the most heart-breaking things I’ve experienced yet.

I haven’t spoken to him since retrieving my things and seeing those messages a few weeks ago, and I’ve already deleted all our pictures on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter, along with blocking his number and him as a friend on any social media platform. My biggest struggle is fighting the urge to cyber-stalk, but I feel no desire to call or text him–I said everything that needed to be said and let him know exactly how I felt last time we spoke. I agree that NC is the only way to go, and I realize that time is what I need to heal, but I wish there was someway to expedite the process! I know he’s a piece of shit and doesn’t deserve anymore of my time/energy/tears, but that doesn’t make it any easier! Any thoughts?

admin

February 16, 2015 at 9:45 pm

Unfortunately there is no way to expedite…

Recovering just takes time but rest assured if you follow my game plan you will recover!

Molly

February 10, 2015 at 3:31 am

Hey I’m not sure if this website is still up and running but heck with it I’m hurting.

So I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months. The most disappointing thing about all of this is he wasn’t the typical reason women leave. It was me that was the problem. But who knows maybe you’ll see something I didn’t. Anyway I got a internship over the past summer (2014) and theres were I met my ex. he was always very respectful and helpful (we were co-worker) and he was incharge of training me. We started dating in mid July (I had started working in May) after I asked him if he’d like to join me bowling (I had been giving him hints that I liked him since getting to know him) so it wasn’t rushed or anything. it was what most people could only imagine . note: he’s 36 and im 22. also note: he was my first ever relationship and I was his 7th. He was also “my first” . Which leads me into the fact that at first we took things slow but then we just got lost in the love and fun and excitement of everything and next thing you know it , im sitting in a room with a puppy dog, ring on my finger and crying hysterically (from the stupid birth control I was on) WTF..WHAT AM I DOING I remember thinking?! I was losing more and more of myself..i clearly wasn’t ready for a relationship, never mind ready to be married! (sidenote..he told many times there was no pressure but I think having a physical ring on my finger did just that-pressure me into filling a role!) im sorry but I want to get out and live my life and then think about settling down! actually I cant understand what I feel right now and its very frustrating! One hour I think man he was so good to me , I miss him so much, I really do love this man. and then other hour im like . thank god I got out of that relationship, I was not ready for that. I need to work some shit out about myself first, I don’t even kno what I want to do with my life ?! (im in college , going to graduate this may) .. I could go on and on but I feel theres no point, I feel like im going crazy.

admin

February 10, 2015 at 4:02 pm

Of course, its up and running!

Why wouldn’t it be?

Ok, we need to figure out your feelings. Do you want this relationship with him or are you still confused?

Ava Sanchez

February 1, 2015 at 9:32 pm

Hello!

My ex boyfriend and l broke up about 5 weeks ago. We were together for 4 1/2 years. I caught him texting another girl the day after Xmas and was suspicious of his behavior roughly 2 months prior. He refused to tell me anything about this girl and said it wasn’t about cheating and his feelings for me had changed and he had been unhappy for some time. Again he refused to elaborate and wanted to discuss nothing with me. I know that a lot of my behaviors caused him to fall out of love with me and since our break up I have said a lot of means things and pushed him away further. I’m pretty sure he won’t come back to me after all the mean things I’ve said. He has told me that he will never forget what I’ve said to him because now he knows how I really feel about him. I said alot of mean things out of hurt and anger. I read your no contest rule and I’m gonna try to stick with it. I failed horribly these past 5 weeks so I’m hoping and praying for a better outcome going forward. Thanks!

admin

February 2, 2015 at 2:30 pm

Go into NC!!!

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786 thoughts on “How To Get Over Your Ex Boyfriend”