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Brandy
May 5, 2016 at 4:10 pm
My ex boyfriend and I dated for almost two months. I am a sophomore and he is a junior. He was always so clingy, but he was loving. He dumped me a week before our school dance. Then he flirted with three of my best friends and dated two of them. He ignored me for months then started messaging me. We were friends for a couple months then I was grounded cause I wasn’t supposed to talk to him and I was. I completely erased him from my life. However, he goes to my school and texted me out of the blue and said I stalk him. I only posted pictures of us when we were dating at the time and then I deleted them last week. How do I attend high school and make him realize that he lost the best thing to happen to him when I am the weirdest girl in school and I am painfully shy? How do I make him jealous or make a point that I am better off without him and that I don’t need him in my life?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 8, 2016 at 5:26 am
Hi Brandy,.
I know this will sound redundant..but just stop talking to him and do the things you love ans excel at them.. being shy has nothing to do with it.. and being weird is good.. it means you’re unique..
I think what you meant by shy is that you’re not confident enough? confidence comes when you keep practicing at what you do and get good at it and by believing in yourself
Andrea
May 4, 2016 at 4:08 am
I am not interested in getting my ex back, but ever since we broke up, he has been acting strange. We broke up well over a year ago, but not long after we tried to get back together, which failed. The second time, he did not actually break up with me but instead ghosted me out. I was unaware of what was happening until my friend told me he changed his relationship status on Facebook to being in a relationship with another girl. We have not texted each other since this incident. He is still with this new girlfriend, and though I don’t know all the details, I can sense that he isn’t completely satisfied with this new relationship. My friend says that he is constantly complaining about nearly everything in his life, which is odd to me since people are generally really happy right away in a new relationship. He also apparently never mentions his girlfriend or even brings her up in conversation. His profile picture on social media is just a picture of himself whereas his girlfriend’s is of the two of them. What is odd to me is that pretty much ever since he started the new relationship, I have caught him staring at me multiple times. Pretty much every time we are in the same vicinity, he will stare at me for much longer than what would be considered a glance. This is another reason why I think he is unhappy in the new relationship, because if he was extremely satisfied it seems like he wouldn’t stare at me all the time. When he and I were dating, he and my sister never talked at all, but ever since our second attempt at a relationship ended, he talks to my sister whenever they see each other in person, and he has even texted her just to talk for no reason at all. I find it strange that this would happen when we are no longer together. My sister said that they have never talked about me, but my best guess as to why he even texts my sister is to either make me jealous or to keep tabs on me. For these various reasons, I suspect that he at least misses me and at the extreme, wishes we were together. Do you think that is why he stares at me a lot and texts my sister?
Andrea
May 11, 2016 at 7:03 pm
He also requested to follow me on Instagram the same day, which I have not accepted nor denied yet.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 15, 2016 at 1:05 am
well, you should, and reply to him if you want to start rebuilding rapport.
Andrea
May 11, 2016 at 2:11 am
Today, he sent me a snapchat of his guitar with the caption “Sometimes my only solace is my music and this old guitar.” We have not talked since August. I think what might have prompted the snap was that we worked together today, but we really didn’t talk much. I didn’t reply because I wasn’t sure what to do, and I don’t know how to interpret this sudden out of the blue contact.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 4, 2016 at 2:07 pm
Hi Andrea,
let’s he does miss you.. it’s still not enough for you to take action.. if he misses you, he should be the one to take action.. what if you’re reading too much of his actions lately but he doesn’t want to get back with you? What if he does miss you but that doesn’t mean he plans on getting back with you? I’m just saying, it’s better to think about it if he really makes a move towards getting back with you.
Andrea
May 4, 2016 at 4:14 am
Correction: no one knew that we actually got back together. We kept it secret.
Andrea
May 4, 2016 at 4:13 am
It might be important to know that when my ex boyfriend and I got back together, no one (including the friend and sister I mentioned). Also, he has been with the new girlfriend for 8 months. He and I dated for 2.5 years.
Kez
May 1, 2016 at 6:59 am
So I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday, well she broke up with me. She said the main reason was stress due to a heavy amount of college exams (she’s first year and I’m still in school) and I’m doing my GCSEs so we both have a lot to focus on. But she said the main reason was that she missed her ex.. She said that she didn’t miss their relationship because it was shitty but she missed her personality, but not as a friend. I was really confused and upset because she said she was still in love with me and I made her way happier than anyone else ever did. She said she wants to think things over but she’s told her mum it’s a definite break up which breaks my heart because I desperately want her back. We have decided to be best friends and she’s still messaging me constantly and replying quickly, and wants to come to see me in my prom dress and take pictures with me before I go, and go to a festival we planned to camp at together. It was so unexpected and she said she’s been missing her for a couple of weeks but she only broke up with me because she felt guilty for missing her ex and just wanted the best for me.. I don’t know what to do..
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2016 at 3:05 pm
HI Kez
you should do no contact because you’re actually friendzoned now..
kiesha
May 1, 2016 at 2:37 am
Hey
My ex girlfriend broke up with me about one week ago but I did everything you said not to do. I kept texting her, using pity begging her to take me back, i also sent her drunk texts. Shortly after she made a video on social media stating to leave her alone and stop harassing her. This was my first relationship and I was devastated that she gave me no notice of ending the relationship. We do work together, so it’s messy right now. After all of this I found out while we were in the talking stage she just broke up with her ex girlfriend. We starting dating 3 months later. Was I a rebound for her last relationship. Today she told me that I should move on because there is no chance of us ever being together. She’s not attracted to me anymore etc.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2016 at 3:01 pm
Hi Kiesha,
I don’t think you’re a rebound because she took time dating you.. for now, are you doing limited no contact since you work together?
ally
April 27, 2016 at 4:47 pm
last week my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up. at first he told me that the reason why we are breaking up is because we spend to much time together, but we will get back together.. just need some time apart. i was over there on wednesday and found out that he had his ex girlfriend over the whole weekend, and that he cheated on me during our relationship with her. he now chose her.. but there relationship never worked out the first few times, do you think ittl work out now? they havent been together in 6 years. and what makes me mad is throughout our entire realtionship he told me that shes phsyco and that hed never talk to her again. im so hurt and devistated. i havent eaten a thing in over a week, all i do is cry and think about our memories. i thought he was the one i really did.. and he told me plenty of times that i was the one and how much he loved me. i went over there yesterday to get all of my things from his house and i asked him if he still has feelings for me and he said yeah there will always be feelings there.. i also asked him if he missed me and he said not in the way you want me to miss you and i asked him if he still loved me and he said yes but not in love and that hes in love with his ex. i dont know what to do? i want to get him back and i dont want there relationship to work out. please help.. im in such a deep hole right now and im not sure how to get him to want me back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2016 at 5:40 am
Hi Ally,
you should start no contact
process now..
Nicole
April 25, 2016 at 2:59 am
Are you supposed to block him on everything or wait til he starts calling again? He’s already liking stuff on social media( I don’t follow him). My pages are public for business purposes. I’m also really close with his family & don’t want my association with them to give him “tabs” on me (only 2 members are his personal dectectives; the others are a great support system & secret keepers). I don’t want the blocking to give him any indication that I still care( even tho I do and am devastated). I wanna have a poker face & get over him in a healthy way. Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 26, 2016 at 8:46 pm
Hi Nicole,
you don’t have to block him.. Social media is supposed to work for him to see what you’re doing while you’re ignoring him during nc. Avoid talking about him to his relatives because that’s like talking to him and it’s breaking nc.
Pete
April 21, 2016 at 3:38 am
My ex broke up with me 6months ago, and I said that we wouldn’t communicate once I moved out. I removed him from all my social media, but didn’t block his number from texting and calling me( and he would always message and call me on a fortnightly basis). Less than a week ago, he told me that he is now is a relationship, and suddenly a sickening pain hit my stomach. I didn’t experience that pain when he 1st broke if off, ( because we were too different,he was a fitness freak and I wasn’t)and I handled it quite well, but now I just wake up everyday with him on my mind, and the sickening pain is to follow. I told him I didn’t want him to contact me anymore, and I wouldn’t contact him either under any circumstance. I am focusing on me, and my fitness and it’s about all I do now as I can’t stand to be at home or else he will just come into my mind, and I will feel sick! I don’t think I want him( although he was the best guy I ever known) , but I am not sure why I am having these feeling now that I know that he has moved on. P.S our relationship lasted 4.5 years.
Can anyone explain why I feel the way I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 23, 2016 at 2:24 am
HI Pete,
it was a long relationship, and then now that he has a new girlfriend, there’s that reality that he’s not coming back.. and also you haven’t met enough new people..
Lila
April 20, 2016 at 10:33 am
hello it is me again. im not sure if you remember me but i feel like i should give an update on my progress in moving on from my ex boyfriend. let’s just say that it had been going well and i began to delete my memories with him including his contact from our social media. i had an huge argument with him and he even went as far to insult and demean me and my flaws. i know that i wasn’t supposed to talk to him but i felt like it was about time the big fight happened. i used to beg for his forgiveness but as time goes by, i learned not to let him take advantage of me again. he wished the worst for me and i called him out on his mistakes towards me then blocked him. that was when i had enough of him and his “reality checks”. he is not worthy of me and he is just angry that i’m not chasing him around anymore nor do i enjoy his company. in fact, the argument made me hate him very much now and all feelings i had for him, my longing for him just disappeared completely. he was immature and rude despite being older and more successful than i am currently (he’s working and im still a college student) and he couldn’t even think of any good insults to defend himself. i’m through with him and i will never want to see, hear or talk to him again.
thank you so much for this article. even though i didn’t follow everything (such as the nc) but it gave me strength to delete and block out everything related to him. i used to think “i can’t do this.. i still love him” when i was about to delete just one picture of him but looking back to that now, i don’t regret that at all. it would sicken me to the stomach to see any traces of him in my phone now. so once again, thank you so much! your other articles are very entertaining to read and i hope that i will be more stronger than before, maybe find a right guy too.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 22, 2016 at 6:28 am
Thank you Lila for updating us.. I hope you’ll find the right guy too.. Someday you will just laugh at all of this.
Maria
April 8, 2016 at 1:37 pm
Hi my name is Maria. My bf and I just broke up. We have been dating for 2 years and we’re living together. Yes we are still living together. Sleeping in the same room. Every night I can’t sleep, because it hurts so much to see how well he’s handling things. I see him happy and my heart breaks everytime. He had told me that he doesn’t wanna be with him and that I should just go find someone else for me to get over him. The problem is he doesn’t wanna move out, and I feel bad that he has no where to go and he also have the right in the house cuz we got it together. But I’m so hurt every single day I see him. It feels like I just wanna cry. I have been crying myself to sleep I have no idea what to do. I really love this man
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 7:26 am
Hi Maria,
do nc.. sleep in the other room, be nice but don’t initiate a talk, go out more as often as you can and improve yourself.. if it doesn’t work out after nc, talk to him that it doesn’t make sense to stay in one house if you’re broken u
Anonymous
April 5, 2016 at 4:41 am
Hi, me and my ex broke up because apparently i wasnt mature enough to handle moving from Oklahoma to Virginia (four months/ together for 7) and i wasnt able to find a job and that i was too clingy because i had no life, no job, and very little friends of my own. Although I’ve worked since i was 17 to provide for my family (once three jobs to pay for my own apartment). But things didnt work out while i was there. Anyways we had a great relationship, hardly ever fought, was really sweet to each other all tge time but after having on and off ideas about taking a break he didnt break up with me but he treated me like we were already broken up (no kissing, staying out late or not coming back home at all, not saying he loved me, no lable, strictly sex) so i told him going back home was the best thing for me and i asked him what he thought and he agreed. Although we had great meaningless sex after that -_- We both cried and he told me it was really difficult for him but he must happen he still wants to be friends. I want him back and im in Oklahoma he really is such a good guy and other than the no job, no life issue we had a great relationship. I started the no contact rule but he wanted to make sure i got home safe. Its my first day back and he hasnt texted me. We still need to send each others things back. Can i contact him about that? Is it still possible to get him back??
Z
April 20, 2016 at 5:53 pm
Your story is uncannily like mine WTF? I moved from Oklahoma to Virginia to be with him. It was at a really hard time in my life, and I was suddenly unable to work because of a health crisis. It was understood that he’d support me while my health/injuries improved. We dated 4 years long distance,prior to the move. I had no friends in Virgnia, no job, and was unable to do a lot of the things i previously loved while i recovered. I was very independent before, while he was the one who was struggling to become a well adjusted person. Now that he’s attained that goal, and I no longer serve a purpose him, I’m back in Oklahoma, as of a few days ago :D. Before i left, we also had sex. That was his version of ending things on “good terms” he said. I dunno if I regret it or not. He also still wanted to be friends, and I refused. I held him up when I was down. He held me up for awhile. My health improved greatly. But it took a toll on our relationship. He expected too much out of me. He loved me. But he’s moving on.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 5, 2016 at 10:47 am
YOu can contact each other for the things. Yeah, I think there’s a chance but for me it’s greater if you rebuild your life first so, the same cycle doesn’t repeat again.
Gemma
March 28, 2016 at 4:31 pm
I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I forgot to say in my last post that it was me that planted ‘a seed’ 3 weeks ago with my Fiancé. I said: ‘you don’t think we have more of a companionship then a lover relationship do you?’. He spent 3 weeks mulling it over before saying to me that ‘ I planted a seed’…..I have to admit spending a lot of time reading love readings for the Church services, comparing relationship, watching more romantic films all played a part in this doubt. The readings didn’t seem to fit our relationship you see. My previous experiences with relationship have all been negative and abusive. I am also an over analyser and perfectionist; traits that have not helped e relationship at all. I am so sad and feel so guilty that I was the one that contributed to this. I just have been so confused about what love is; what a relationship is. I know he is my best friend; I want to share with him everything; I love spending time with him; discovering new things together; talking to him, etc,etc. Physical side got greatly affected after 5 months (with my Depression).
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 4:42 am
HI Gemma,
Have you talked things through again or you’re doing no contact now?
Tossed away like garbage
March 17, 2016 at 7:57 am
I’ve been having trouble getting over my ex. We’ve been broken up for almost three months now but it’s still hard… I thought I was getting over him but simply being near him at a party set me off again. It reminded me that he wasn’t a bad guy and all the hate I’d built up over him dumping me wasn’t real. I saw him acting like his usual self and my hate image went away because I saw the guy I fell in love with. Whenever he was near me it felt like my skin had electricity on it….
I tried everything, I deleted everything, our texts our pictures and I hadn’t talked to him until that party the other night, even then it was a very brief exchange. I want to be over him but I can’t get him out of my mind. Seeing him with other girls still makes me sick.
What do I do?
Tossed away like garbage
March 18, 2016 at 10:49 am
Honestly I don’t know. I know I should be over him, he’s already moved on from me and there’s no chance of him wanting me back (I’ve been blocked from everything)
But I simply can’t move on, I still love him and I shouldn’t.
How do I get over this?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 19, 2016 at 2:24 pm
Actually the no contact is the same process to moving in, except the testing phase and the time period. Basically, you just have to go through the process of acknowledging what you feel and then finding activities that has progress,being with friends and family and finding happiness apart from him
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 17, 2016 at 1:57 pm
Hi,
I just want to br clear, do you want to move on or try again?
Lila
March 16, 2016 at 6:59 am
hi i commented on other articles on this site to ask for help.. i tried to do no-contact which worked but failed because i gave in too much. he always got jealous and angry with me when i talk with other guys but i can’t feel the same way if he does it with other girls. what made me change my mind about getting him back was when i found out he started dating someone on the 29th, four days after my birthday. i never exactly told him that i knew and when he started to ignore me, i gave him a goodbye letter which he never responded to. i miss him a lot and my feelings for him are still strong but my friends told me that he’s being a jerk and does not deserve anything from me. i was stubborn but i acknowledge that he’s not a good guy for me after all. since we both are not on speaking terms anymore, i decided that this is the time to forget about him. deep down, i would want to try and get him back but if i were to do that, i would want to be a more attractive person than before if we ever talk again. i haven’t deleted my memories of him but i am going to once i submit this comment. i would like to say thank you to exboyfriendrecovery for giving me the best tips, they actually do work. but i will try the things i have learned on this site on the person who deserves me in the near future.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2016 at 3:35 pm
Thank you Lila! We hope you find the right guy soon!
Rebecca
March 16, 2016 at 6:57 am
My ex broke up with with me 10 months ago. I suffered and questioned myself and wished for a reunion, but I never let myself be angry. I was a lady throughout, thank God. I never tried to get him back. I felt that had to be his choice entirely, since he was the one that ended it.
Lately we have become friends again. 3 Months ago we met up and he kissed me. He has kept me on a string. We even have a date planned that I now plan to break and move on from him. Why?
I learned this past weekend that he was cheating before we broke up. It was probably the best thing I could have learned. It lowered his value and my respect for him a GREAT deal. It stopped me from wanting him. What’s more, he led me to believe that I was the one at fault for the breakup. I truly trusted him. I am now angry. Not so much angry that he cheated. My ego isnt really involved now kn that way. It’s that he let me blame myself. I was a new widow when we started seeing each other, and w wer old friends. It was too soon and he should have put the brakes on, since he clear mind and I didnt. But then to screw my mind like he did was dishonorable, to say the least. My dilemma is that i have a strong desire to tell him that I can’t be his friend and that I know what he did, and i can’t be friends with someone I no longer respect. At any point he could have told me it wasn’t working out, before he slept with someone else. We had dated 13 months. I can make allowances for cowardice, but to let me feel crappy and take the blame was unkind and ungentlemanly. We aren’t kids. I am 49 and he is 51. I was honorable, he was not.
My question is, do I just throw him out of my life with no explanation, or will I recover better now if I tell him what I know and how poorly I think of him for his actions? This is my dilemma. What will help me heal better? At this point, it’s about me and my needs. Any input?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2016 at 9:44 pm
Hi Rebecca,
Write down everything you feel in a piece of paper…don’t hild back but don’t send it. When you’re less hurt or angry, read it and then edit in a way that you won’t regret telling him the truth. Change some words, rephrase but don’t let it become something you wish you had said differentlu
Justina
March 8, 2016 at 8:06 am
So, I have this problem. I want to move on from my ex forever. I already started NC rule week ago, cleanse and etc. But we have 2 years old son together. He doesn’t want to have any contact with kid. So why do I need man like that in my life anyway. I feel that he is already trying to manipulate me, by not wiring child support as he promised, because I refused to stay friends with him (he begged for staying friends). And I have a strange feeling that he can try to manipulate me using our son. What to do? I really don’t want to talk to him anymore. I feel like he is poison in my life. He says that he doesn’t look at me like at the woman, and he has no feelings for me. And I feel that if I will stay in contact with him, I will never be able to move over him. So please a little bit help here…
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 9, 2016 at 10:35 am
Hi Justina,
If he’s using the support, report him.. it’s against the law not to support your child..
Square one
February 28, 2016 at 8:03 am
So I’m on this page now to implement choice 1: (move on from ex boyfriend for good). I know you’ve written to do it only when we’re sure we don’t want them back. I do want him back, but I’ve followed your posts, step by step. Got so much out of them in terms of how far my ex and I had gotten (even after being apart for 5 months) things were great. But there was still no discussion. Then I concluded that I would have to take control after reading this article https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-ask-your-ex-boyfriend-to-be-in-a-relationship-with-you/ (I genuinely thought that’s where we were in our post break up relationship. There was nothing else I could do, this was next. So I brought it up with him, and he told me he’d think about it. We took 2 weeks apart and today was the day we agreed to talk about it again. But all went downhill. I remained calm, and told him that I did think he was making a mistake, however I respected his decision. And told him I could no longer keep him in my life. The past 6 months have been too consuming. Trying to ‘play it cool’ and abide by all these rules and somewhat games. When all I wanted to do was cry and tell him I loved and missed him.
I’m glad I didn’t do that. But I’m also so hurt that after all my effort over the last 6 months has been for nothing. This website is fantastic, and Chris you’ve put so much thought and effort into it. But it just didn’t work for me and even though I’d still love for our relationship to start up again, because I believe in it so much; I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t keep being in a ‘kind of relationship’ trying to make it work.
So if any women read this – I hope that you have more patience and hope than me. And know that goon by Chris’ steps is really the best way to go about it. But no matter how well you do it, sometimes the situation doesn’t work out. And there is definitely a reason for it.
No I’m on my journey to healing properly. 1 year NC here I come!
Dejah
February 18, 2016 at 6:50 am
So…. i read the first half of the article, i want to be done with my ex for good… but – i am a university student and he lives on the same hall of residence. we see each other and i see who ever me is moving on with. i try not to initiate contact, however i get angry by what i hear or see and then i break my silence. plus he contacts me from time to time for whatever reason and i am just compelled to respond. i am hurt and tired of being hurt. i do not want this relationship back but i have found myself falling backing into old routines with him already when he wants to play nice. sex and kisses and talks about old times then he just flips a switch and we are back to being broken again. no contact seems very hard considering we live on the same dorm and when school is on break and we go back home we attend the same church and have similar friends. Plus people know of our once was relationship and they speak about him to me, even if its to update me of gossip or to ask if we are ok individually or collectively. i want to feel better but instead i feel crippled as time goes by. please do you have any further advice.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 18, 2016 at 3:14 pm
It means you have to find a new activity to be busy with..or to be productive with
Dejah
February 18, 2016 at 6:58 am
Oh if it adds perspective a bit, the relationship lasted 4yrs and he was my first boyfriend and we came to university together. high school sweetheart if we must label it. i fell in love and now i want to recover. its almost a year since the actual break up but i believe contact with him and at a point of casual sex and flash backs has held me in a state of pause where i am sad and angry.
Gina Olanzo
February 11, 2016 at 4:47 am
My ex boyfriend and I are not on speaking terms. Our relationship ended after 6 months out of a huge miscommunication. I thought he was breaking up with me and instantly went into shock; I didn’t cry, I just got up told him I hope we can be civil towards each other (since we’re both invested in the same college org and would have to see each other often) hugged him and left. I didn’t even stop to hear what he had to say- he really just wanted to talk about what was bothering him in the relationship. Once it hit me, I immediately went into panic mode and called him/texted him/messaged him to tell him I made a mistake and that I thought our relationship was worth saving and that I was too quick to respond. I convinced him to see me a couple days later to talk but he shut me out, was cold and detached, and refused to talk to me- I had never seen any of these traits during our relationship- he was always warm, sweet, and always had something to say. I had apologized and let him know what I didn’t like in our relationship. All I wanted was for him to ask to see me instead of taking me for granted and expecting me to go to all the college org events and seeing me after- something so small to ask of him. After asking him what he thought was wrong in the relationship, he started saying untrue things to hurt me (ie he didn’t see a future with me- yet he had introduced me to his parents a few weeks earlier (and they loved me)). I wanted to work on the relationship since this was the first real fallout that had happened between us but he refused to and ended the relationship. I wrote him a letter apologizing, explaining to him the things I didn’t get to say, telling him that I did value our relationship and that I’m sorry he didn’t feel the same way, that I wish him well and have nothing negative to say about him to other people. The following couple months he made it a point to avoid me and not talk to me in any shape or form to punish me. However, if he saw guys flirting with me or if he saw that I was having a good time, he would make a spectacle of himself, talk loud behind me so I can hear, whistle out loud while walking parallel to me on the opposite side of the street sidewalk etc just to make sure I don’t forgot him. There was one instance where he saw one of his close friends flirting with me on the bus and the next day, he kissed one of his female friends once on the month in front of the people in the college org we’re in on purpose. (This was very out of character for him, it took him four months for him to kiss me in front of his friends and he called himself a prude- he kissed her to rub it in my face) At one point he shoved into me without saying excuse me and I called him out on it and asked him if there was anything he wanted to talk about because he seemed to be acting out. He lied and said that I was imagining things but that he was sorry if he did anything that would hurt me. He continued to act this way for some time. Then out of nowhere after Thanksgiving Break he started opening the door for me, sitting next to me, saying hi to me, and walked silently next to me for some time. I didn’t know how to respond to this behavior so I continued to avoid him because I didn’t want him to continue to hurt me emotionally. Then, of course, I got him for Secret Santa and gave his gift to one of his friends to give to him because I couldn’t face being hurt by him again if he decided to throw it back in my face- and me not giving the gift to him in person seemed to piss him off. Fast forward to after winter break, the college org were in goes on a ski trip together for a week. I did my research on how to properly do no contact, bought the recovery pro book etc and what I learned pretty much back fired- though I probably used too much too soon I dont know. One day during this trip, I got tired of waiting for something to happen- especially since my ex had never spoken to me at all this entire time. I sat next to him to read while he was reading his book and later, asked him about the book he was reading- just so I could start talking to him again. He got irritated and told me that he wanted to read his book. Except the way that he told me was more like him snapping at me- he didn’t even try to be polite or act like he cared about my feelings as a person. I asked him if there was something I did wrong because it had been four months since the break up and he still seemed angry at me. He didn’t really respond, he had that same cold, detached yet hurt look that he had on the day we broke up and said nothing. I asked again and he said that he would rather have that conversation another time because it was private. I told him I would hold him to it. Five days later, I text him and try one of the text tactics from recovery pro- the I have a confession-memory nostalgia one and that backfires quickly because he tells me “Please don’t waste your time on me. I’m not interested.” I don’t go to the college org events for two and a half weeks. I see him today, he opens the door for me and says hi. We aren’t on speaking terms and I’m not sure if we’ll ever be. He always seems angry with me and doesn’t want to talk to me. I don’t know what to do. Its’ been five months since we broke up and its so hard to let go- he was my first kiss, first boyfriend, first love and it just hurts me that he would act like this. In the meantime, I’m trying to heal and let go. So, like I said, we aren’t on speaking terms- he won’t let me be friendly with him or establish any sort of connection with him- no basis for me to try to get close to him. He still seems angry and like he cares so that might be something. Aside from this, Valentine’s Day is coming up- the first time we slow-dance- the first time we started liking each other and this all just sucks. Please tell me how to come back from this. How do I get him to stop being angry at me and start talking to me? I’ve pretty much tried everything. I need guidance.
Gina Olanzo
February 11, 2016 at 5:31 pm
I’ll let him be. But, how do I get him back though is my question.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 12, 2016 at 2:01 pm
Hmm, I can’t say this will truly get him back, but if I were in your situation, and I know he’s trying to get my attention when I start to flirt or talk to other guys, I’ll let him be jealous. I won’t approach him of he’s angry or reciprocate his anger of he directly says it to me and be the ungettable girl. Because for me, if he really wants to get back with me, he must do it sincerely, not by getting my attention in acting out. And when he starts to approach me again nicely, I’ll be nice but I won’t show him immediately that I still love him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 11, 2016 at 12:35 pm
The only thing and sometimes the best is just let him be.. As long as he’s not hurting you physically or verbally harassing you,let him be angry and don’t ask.. When he sees you’re moving on and not affected by his “anger tantrum”, he’ll probably realize that there’s no point being angry
Anne
February 8, 2016 at 7:06 am
So I was with my ex for about a year when we both went through some deep bouts of depression that led to me breaking up with him. Within 2 weeks I wanted him back but I thought some space would be very healthy for both of us.
Now, he’s two hours away (cause I’m in college) and his car recently broke down. I still got texts from him saying he missed me. In an attempt to get over him, I got myself a new boyfriend. However, it has been months and I still find myself crying and missing him every night. He since stopped answering me and I don’t know if I should keep on trying to get over this guy I still love, or if I should end things with the really sweet new guy and run back to my ex? I want to deal the least amount of damage to my boyfriend, ex, and myself.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 3:46 am
Hi Anne,
The truth is no matter how least it may seem, your choice here will hurt like it’s the same. If you really don’t love ur bf now, break up with him, whether you get back with your ex or not because you’re being unfair.
If it has been really long enough since you and your ex talked, then proceed to the texting phase of no contact with the goal of building connection b and attraction. If, it’s below 30, why not do no contact for yourself? To have a clean slate and when you’re ready, send a first contact text to him
Mimi
January 28, 2016 at 8:22 pm
Hello chris,
I wanted to start off by saying thank you for your website.. I came across it in 2014 and then told my best friend about it so we both purchased copies for ourselves.
I will admit that I was not the best at following the no contact rule, but then finally I was able to.
Im a little embarrassed to admit this honestly but I might as well go ahead, My boyfriend and I dated for 2 and a half years and then I broke up with him. I broke up with him because I felt he was being immature and he was not treating me the way I wanted to be treated, I regretted that choice so much later, but we have now been on and off for the past 3 years. I know I haven’t followed your website to the T which probably would have helped me so much, but Im just tired of this. when I do decide to fully move on and go my own way, usually 2 weeks – 30 days into “no contact” he realizes I truly don’t care anymore and that I am moving on, he freaks out and starts contacting me and showing all signs of missing me, he even told me he has feelings for me, but its never the “I want to get back together with you” now I am wondering if he’s just doing this because he wants to keep me around in his life just because he’s comfortable? or if we could ever be together again. He is not exclusive to me, I know he is intimate with other women which is unfortunate.. because I am not intimate with anyone. I told him today exactly how I felt about the way he is treating me, and that its not fair and I am not interested in sleeping with him, or seeing him, because were not in a relationship or committed to one another. I also told him I do not want to be friends with him, because if I truly decide to move on… then I want a fair chance to be with someone else and not have him make me feel bad for attempting to move on, which he has done before.
Mimi
January 29, 2016 at 6:02 pm
Thanks for responding, but I asked my question within the message I had sent.
I asked if he is just trying to keep me around for his comfort, or if we actually have a chance at being together?
but I guess what I truly want to know is, what should I do right now? I am so lost.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 30, 2016 at 1:37 pm
Sorry about that mimi! I missed it because it’s like you answered it yourself. He’s losing you, so he wants you to keep you but as what he shows, he’s not into getting back together. Because you’re right, if he really wants it, you have to feel it. It’s good that you have laid what you want and don’t want. What did he say about that?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 29, 2016 at 12:37 pm
HI Mimi,
Thank you too! I’m just wondering, do you have a specific question or you are sharing your story for others?