1,990 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”

1. 

   Carrie

   October 17, 2016 at 8:34 am

   Hello,
   Id been seeing this guy for about 2 weeks and we had about 3-4 dates, and had our first sex on 4th date.
   He liked me a lot and told me all that and was really sweet.. and last week, the day before we were supposed to have a date, I went out with my friend and got drunk and apparently there was a friend of the guy I was seeing at the bar.
   I came up to him and asked all about the guy I was seeing. They work together so.. and SUDDENLY, this guy who tried to talk to me before that night, was very drunk, and came up to me while we were talking, and gave me a kiss. For like 2 seconds.
   I was very drunk and I pulled him away, and he stepped back. The thing is this friend of the guy I was seeing saw this situation. I quickly turned to him and told him you don’t need to tell him about this. But he did.
   Next morning this guy texted me saying he heard I made out with another guy last night. hugely disappointed. take care.
   and he disappeared. Everything happened so quick and I was in panic because I really liked this guy…
   So I constantly called him and that night I went up to his apartment and explained everything. He was still mad and kept saying it’s not the same anymore.. I really regret going to the bar that night and got drunk and got kissed by another guy.
   But since I was there we kissed a bit, and before saying good bye I asked if we are still cool, and he said yeah.. but
   I haven’t heard from him since then.. and I got really anxious so I wrote him a long message basically saying, I’m sorry again that I hurt your feeling, I still like you but if you feel uncomfortable being with me, I’ll leave you alone..
   and he replied, it’s ok, he’s been feeling bad all day and stayed in bed all day. and Later that night I.asked him how he is doing and he hasn’t replied me. That was the last thing we spoke.
   Do you see any chance that I still could see him? He wasn’t my boyfriend or anything yet, but we were really liking each other, getting into each other, and everything happened so sudden… I guess I should wait till hear from him again…? its been about 4 days since that happened now…
   Please give me some advice.. He is in 30s and I am in 20s…

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 18, 2016 at 4:23 pm

   Hi Carrie,

   try doing 21 days of no contact period
   avoid bars for now and do other things

2. 

   alisha

   October 16, 2016 at 9:06 am

   hi.. i need a hlp!!!
   i cheated on my bf.. wd my ex ..

   my ex cheatd me as he ws flrtng wd me n our relationship was jzz tympas fr him.. so he cheated n lft me..
   fr no reason.. i requested a lot tht nt to do bt he blocked me..
   i decided to b single n alone forever n ll nvr accpt ny one’s proposal..

   i created fake acnt jzz to tlk wd him.. bt wn he cm to knw abt tht he blocked me..
   thn wd d hlp of one frnd.. i used to tlk wd him.. my creating a fb account on d name of my frnd..

   n tht tym only i met wd my bf (whm i chtd) on fb.. we bcm vry close frnds.. i shared evry thng abt my ex n past.. he also shared abt his past.. n ex..
   his ex also cheated him badly..
   tht tym we wr jzz gud frnds…

   here dnt knw hw my ex who cheatd me cm to knw thts me who is tlkng wd a fake account n unfrndd me n tld abt me tht.. “she is characterless.. as she frced me.. to cm back in relationship wd hr..” aftr listening ths.. i deactivated tht fake accnt.. n decided to move on.. bt still i luvd him tht tym..
   my bf to whm i cheated..n i bcm vry closest frnds one day i askd.. do u hv ny gf he tld no bt i luv sm1.. i tld.. who??? he tld cnt say d name she is my gud frnd.. i ll lose her.. if she ll knw abt it i said its okk.. thn tld wn u ll propose hr he tld.. i wnna propose bt hw?? she ll reject me n ll go away..
   i said no one can reject u.. u r vry nyc person. .
   n tld to propose hr.. n thn he proposed me

   i was vry shocked.. bt accepted him as i didn’t wntd hurt him.. as he was my best friend!!!
   bt i was nt hppy wd tht relationship i wantd to leave him.. so i tld tht i wnna tk a brk i m nt abl to continue ths relationship. . its is impossible to forget my ex..
   he agreed n i brkn up..

   one day my ex clld me bt i ignored.. bt thn i strtd tlkng n bcm frnds.. cz i was in luv wd him .
   bt he strtd flrtng wd me.. n as i still luvd him
   so i also strtd to do so..

   here my bf (whom i cheated )alwys usd to frce..n requestd me to cm bck in relationship.. 4/5 mnths passed nw my frnds also strtd frcng me.. to accept him.. he is a nyc guy.. so i accptd him.. bt i tld also tht its is jzz impossible to frgt him.. i ll try to frgt him n luv u.. he tld okk n i ll make u frgt him.. n one day u ll b mine nly .

   thn one month passed my ex bf who cheatd me.. clld me n tld to meet i went to meet him.

   whn my bf to whm i chtd cm to knw abt it,he ws vry hurt n wrnd me tht “he ll beat my ex as i was very tnsd n wryd so i requested nt to do tht..tht tym nly my bf (to whm i cheated) met wd an accident n his left leg got fractured.. i didn’t went to meet him..
   he forgave me tld nt to tlk wd my ex.. i tld ok fine i ll nt tlk”

   bt aftr tht also.. i brokn his heart.. trust.. 6/7 tyms..
   n ths tym also he lft me bcz i tlkd wd my ex..
   my bf to whm i chtd brkn up 2 mnths ago..

   i realised my mistakes.. n i knw i did wrng..
   i truly luv him nw n he still luv me.. bt nt accptng me..
   n tlng i ll nvr cm bck u ll cheat agn i cnt trust u..

   wn i tld ab it to his frnd he tld
   tht my bf to whm i cheated tld him “she chtd me mny tyms.. he is brokn.. he forgav me mny tym..bt thn also she alwys did d same mistk.. nw hw cn i gv hr ny chnce..?
   i dnt wnt ny relationship nw.. thn she wants me back..”
   thn his frn tld me “i ll try to convince him u dnt wry.. u gv him sm tym he is vry vry hurt.. i ll tk sm tym to recvr n he still luv u.. u also let him knw tht u luv him nw..”

   i did d same tht day i stppd cllng n tlkng to him.. n at d evening he clld me wd an unknown number..2/3 tym bt he cts the call
   wn i was receiving.. thn i also clld him 2/3 tym he rejected my cll thn lastly he received n tld tht sry by mistake i clld u..
   nw no cll ll go frm here… srryy..
   n cts d cal..

   aftr tht he unblockd me on fb as he also blockd me bcz i was msgng n cllng him n requestng to cm bck in relationship
   n nw we r frnds in fb.. n smtym he uses tlks wd me nycly n smtyms he uses to ignore …
   n hurt wd his rude behaviour..

   i tried to commit suicide bt my bf to whm i chtd stppd me.. wn i ws dng tht..he ws vry tnsd..

   actually he tld me we hav no future we shld me leave echothr thn i tld if u ll leave me i ll die.. he tld its ur lyf.. i dnt care n wn i went to do so he stopped bt i wantd to die so i ct d cll aftr tht mny tyms he clld me bt i ws cttng it..thn he warned me if i ll do tht he ll cmpln abt it to my parents thn i tld no dnt gv tnsn to thm.. he tld y r u gvng tnsn to everyone..
   n tht tym he ws very worried..

   wn i frcd to b in relationship he tld i cn b bt in temporary nt permanent relationship..
   i didn’t agreed..
   cz i want permanent relationship wd him…

   i truly luv him.. plss tl me hw to gt him back i luv him a lot.. n want him back.. at ny cost..
   plss hlp me..
   i cnt live wdout him.. i ll nvr cheat him.. pls hlp me..
   he is tlng.. he ll nvr cm bck.. bt i knw he still luvs me. i ll nvr cheat or hurt him bt pls hlp me i wnt him bck….

   pls hlp me i luv him so much…

   plsss…

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 17, 2016 at 6:13 pm

   Hi Alisha,

   There’s no guarantee that the nc rule will work. I have to make some things clear because I didn’t understand your story. Just correct me if I’m wrong with my understanding.

   You had a boyfriend, you cheated on him with you best friend but you realized you loved you ex and not your best friend right?

3. 

   alisha

   October 16, 2016 at 7:40 am

   30 days no contact rule.. ll wrk??n cn really solve problem..?
   cz i did wrng na.. n if i ll nly ignore him thn he ll move on cz may be ths cn hlp him to move on..

   tl me na hw it cn wrk..??

4. 

   Taylor

   October 12, 2016 at 4:38 am

   So honestly I sent pictures to another guy and my boyfriend left me and about two months later he got back with his ex and wants nothing to do with me, I still love him and don’t know what to do

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 12, 2016 at 1:47 pm

   Hi Taylor,

   have you tried the steps above? Do you want to try it?

5. 

   Tanna

   October 9, 2016 at 2:03 am

   Me and my boyfriend were dating for about 3 3 and a half years. The first 2 years were good but then I noticed things started to get rocky. He would text his ex and lie about it. Etc…we worked it out and things started to go good…until last year. He got caught cheating on me multiple times. I found out and forgave him. He recently (like 3 months ago) just started trying and I thought things were going good again. Then about 3 weeks ago I had met a guy though one of the girls my boyfriend had been caught with. (Random bar night) anyway, I had met said guy and he was cool. We started talking more and things started to heat up fast. Then about 2 weeks ago he came to town and we had sex. I felt terrible, I didn’t know what to do so I made the worst choice and didn’t tell my boyfriend. Thinking it was just a mistake and it would go away. Well last week I went out and ran into said guy again. We had sex yet again. This time I was mad. Why was I doing this to my boyfriend? I love him I want to be with him. He’s the person I was supposed to marry. I again decided not to tell my boyfriend and to block said guy out of my life. Well a few days ago my boyfriend found out because of the girl that introduced us. I didn’t know what to do so I lied about it. Terrible idea. I kept the lie going but it was driving me crazy! Then today it exploded. People were telling my bow ex things that wasn’t true that I did with this guy, this girl is going around telling my ex ALL these things. I know what I did was wrong…I’m not a bad person but I feel so little…it was a mistake and I want my ex back but hes SO mad at me because I lied (which he has a right to be) I havnt been able to tell him the full truth yet because Im just so scared I’ll lose him forever. Please help me.

1. 

   Tanna

   October 9, 2016 at 2:08 am

   I’ve pissed a LOT of people off because I got caught. Which I understand and take full responsibility for. But now I’m the talk of the town and my ex is just so mad at me. I want to work it out with him but I don’t know if he wants the same anymore. This girl is just telling him all these lies about me and he won’t believe me.. (again understandable) he told me that I got caught in a lie and now have to deal with it. How do I go about telling him the truth and what to do after…

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 10, 2016 at 8:05 pm

   Hi Tanna,

   I’m just wondering.. How is your cheating different from the multiple times that he did that to you? Did you reach in the same way that he is doing now? Did he feel the same way as you are feeling now?

6. 

   pillu

   October 8, 2016 at 6:08 am

   I love my bf but due to his restrictions I got attracted to my ex and I cheated on my present boyfriend by texting my ex BT I am really sorry for that and I have realised that my present boyfriend is only one who care n love me but he is not coming back to me what should I do

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 10, 2016 at 3:14 pm

   Hi Pillu,

   do you want to try what’s advised above?

7. 

   MJ

   October 4, 2016 at 7:35 pm

   So my boyfriend and I were dating for three years where we lived together most of the relationship, unfortunately 9 months ago I did cheat on him, because I didn’t think I was getting the attention I deserved. Our relationship was never toxic and he was always good to me. I told him about it, and I thought things were good between us until two weeks ago where he told me that he needed his space, and that right now there is no chance of us getting back together however, he doesn’t know how he will feel in the future. I go about two days without contacting him before I break down and do it again. I have been to his the house on multiple occasions and he still has my toothbrush and letters I wrote him there, even though I know he is talking to another girl. I really care about him, and truly think he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just don’t know what to do.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 6, 2016 at 9:21 pm

   Hi MJ,

   there’s really not much for me to advice, but just to ask if you are ready to follow what’s advised above this time?

8. 

   Loveth

   October 1, 2016 at 3:24 pm

   I av been in a rlshp with my bfrnd for 5yrs. He had a bby boy frm his ex wen we were still dating but refused to marry her bcos he says he dsnt love her. But several tyms wen i get preggy he abandons me and afta i aborted he cums bck to my life. He introduced me to his family n elders as a lady he wants to settle down with. Currently i slpt with his frnd bcos i was emotionally taunted(his bby mama was in his house n he stpd talking to me) so his frnd was d only guy around to console me and out of that he slept with me(once) my bfrnd got to knw n he was angry. Stpd calling and texting me. Few days ago he sent me a text to go get an international passport with his surname and he sent me money for it too. But he still haven’t called or text me afta dt few days. Is there hope that he is cumning bck for me? Should i call n still apologize to him or shld i go with the 30 days off?? I love him n he told me he still loves me but i messed up. Plz hlp!!!

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 4, 2016 at 4:41 pm

   Hi loveth,

   I’m confused..Shouldn’t you be the one who’s angry? How many times have you been pregnant and had an abortion, was he there when that happened?

9. 

   Jenn

   September 30, 2016 at 11:52 am

   My guy and I have been together for 7 1/2 years… We went through a lot at the beginning and he hurt me a lot with cheating and moving out…. About 4 years ago when my boyfriend and I weren’t together, I met someone new… It lasted briefly, but during the time my boyfriend was trying to get back with me, I had both of them…

   This lasted only a few months then I cut the romantic relationship with the other guy to focus on being with my boyfriend…. For the last 3 years I have been faithful to my guy, in all ways, except I hid it from my boyfriend that I was still friends with this other guy ( who also didn’t know I had a boyfriend)……. A few weeks ago the other guy found out and was furious that I “friend zoned” him for years and didn’t tell him I had a boyfriend…. I knew I had to tell my boyfriend about this other guy and my friendship as well as the feelings the other guy had for me.

   Before given the chance, some fake Facebook messaged my boyfriend telling him I was cheating on him…. The SAME DAY I planned on telling him everything… I didn’t have time to react, my boyfriend retreated…. I finally caught up to him and begged him to hear me out…. He was furious… Told me it was over, told me he needed space, he needed time to decide what to do…..

   I did all the big NO NOs… Called, texted, rang his bell…. Everytime I asked him if he decided about us, he would tell me ” stop…. leave me alone…. if and when I decide I want to talk to you, I will let you know…. “….. kept pushing…. He told me he was over I made this decision not him…. kept crying and begging… he told me he does not want to talk to me at this moment, if he decides to talk to me, he will let me know…

   I am struggling because I know in my heart of hearts I did not cheat on him.. At least physically…. I guess I have to take accountability and admit I had someone on the back burner even if it was just as friends….. My guy has to know I wasn’t cheating on him.. We spent all of our time together, slept next to each other every night…..

   He has told mutual friends its over, that he’s done with this part of his life…. After 7 years together…

   I am only in day 2 of no contact… I am so terrified beyond belief that my guy will never speak to me again or give me a chance to prove my innocence… I have texts, I have proof that we were just friends… But without contact, how will he know whats real and fake?

   We are also early 30’s so we were looking to get married soon 🙁

   Help??

1. 

   Jenn

   October 4, 2016 at 3:32 am

   I hid it from my boyfriend because he would not have accepted the friendship… I hid my boyfriend from my ex because he would not remain my friend…. I want to do whatever it takes to fix my big mistake… I am on day 6 of NC and I am worried even with NC it will not work 🙁

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 6, 2016 at 10:56 am

   ok.. there’s no guarantee that it will…but just let it pass..when he cools down, explain what happened to him

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 1, 2016 at 2:43 pm

   Hi Jenn,

   even if you didn’t cheat physically, the big question is, why did you keep it a secret to both of them? Do you want to try what’s advised above?

10. 

    Kristyn Baron

    September 18, 2016 at 1:58 am

    I cheated on my ex. I didnt have sex with the giy i cheated on with however. I did the 30 day no contact and realized towards the end he unblocked me on facebook. We met up about a week after he unblocked so he could see my daughter (shes not his) He told me he forgave me and we got our things out. However he said we wont be getting back together. Later he brought up the idea of “friends with benefits” i know this is a bad idea because i still have feelings for him but of course ive got “needs” too. There was a couple times now i spilled my heart out for him but ive been playing it cool now. It did suprise me because during the break up he told me he doesnt keep “disloyal” people in his life, but here i am in his life again with this agreed arrangment? When im at his house he tells me everything he will be doing that following weekend and sometimes complains how his life is going as if he is miserable even though things are going good for him. Like i said i know being friends with benefits with him is a bad idea and is not a way to get him back but while i am at it how can i get him to trust me again and possibly reconnect? I know everyone will say to just cut if off and dont do it but i am a stubborn person so anything productive to help me out with him will be much appreciated. When we are together we laugh and joke around like we did when we were together. We have conversations and actually do spend a little bit of time together before i leave to work. I think him and i can work it out. I just need patience and good ideas to keep cool.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 20, 2016 at 11:19 am

   HI Kristyn,

   First, you need stop sleeping with him. If you really want him to value you, you have stop doing things that would make him think less of you. You cheated and then now you’re friends with benefits with him.. Continue building rapport but now focus in improving yourself. If you see each other, spend time outside.

11. 

    Kristyn Baron

    September 18, 2016 at 1:53 am

    I cheated on my ex. I didnt have sex with the giy i cheated on with however. I did the 30 day no contact and realized towards the end he unblocked me on facebook. We met up about a week after he unblocked so he could see my daughter (shes not his) He told me he forgave me and we got our things out. However he said we wont be getting back together. Later he brought up the idea of “friends with benefits” i know this is a bad idea because i still have feelings for him but of course ive got “needs” too. There was a couple times now i spilled my heart out for him but ive been playing it cool now. It did suprise me because during the break up he told me he doesnt keep “disloyal” people in his life, but here i am in his life again with this agreed arrangment? When im at his house he tells me everything he will be doing that following weekend and sometimes complains how his life is going as if he is miserable even though things are going good for him. Like i said i know being friends with benefits with him is a bad idea and is not a way to get him back but while i am at it how can i get him to trust me again and possibly reconnect? I know everyone will say to just cut if off and dont do it but i am a stubborn person so anything productive to help me out with him will be much appreciated.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 20, 2016 at 11:19 am

   HI Kristyn,

   First, you need stop sleeping with him. If you really want him to value you, you have stop doing things that would make him think less of you. You cheated and then now you’re friends with benefits with him.. Continue building rapport but now focus in improving yourself. If you see each other, spend time outside.

12. 

    Simone Strachan

    September 13, 2016 at 6:45 pm

    My boyfriend and I had been dating for 2 years 3 months, but last week he decided to call it quits. He says he cannot trust me. I forgot to mention to him that I was going to a party, and he couldn’t reach me for an hour or two because my phone battery died. Now, he developed trust issues in the first place, mainly because I cheated on him with my ex boyfriend (the father of my child). It has been exactly one week, and I’m not sure when is best to reach out to him. I really want to make up with him and for him to regain my trust. We were planning to get married next year.
    Thanks.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 15, 2016 at 4:54 pm

   Hi Simone,

   when di you cheat? Let him cool down for now

13. 

    Arissa

    September 9, 2016 at 7:17 pm

    Hello, me and my boyfriend have together for 4 years. We met when we were 16 in high school and he asked me to be his girlfriend about a week after texting and walking to classes together. For a few years before that (so I’m talking when I was 14 and 15) I really liked a guy (we’ll can him T) that was kind of mean to me (typical). For the next two months after me and my boyfriend got together we were having fun and getting to know each other hanging out after school. Then I was at a mutual friend’s house of mine and T’s (the ex) and he told me he “still loved me” and we kissed. Not even really a make out. I cried so hard right after and went straight home. I wanted my boyfriend more even though for a second I questioned it. I told him right away the next morning what happened. He considered it cheating but was relieved I told him and stayed with me. 6 months later it he broke up with me for it when I thought we were totally happy. That summer I waited 2 months for him (his name is Ivan) and he never answered me (I was 16 and didn’t know about the nc thing). so then I talked and flirted with a few boys not knowing how to cope with my first heartbreak. Of course the ex T was all over texting me. By the way I have severe depression so I was not in a good place loosing Ivan. I was drinking a lot more than a 16 year old on depression meds should have been and one night at a party me and T had sex for what could barely count as sex and I left crying and wasted. I felt so guilty but knew Ivan didn’t want me. When our senior year started Ivan wanted to get back together and asked me flat out “did u hook up with T” and I gave him the full honest truth even tho I didn’t want to. He accepted that it happened and that he had dumped me. That year he enlisted for the Marine corps and we spent all of senior year preparing for that and being very happy and in love: he got weird before he left for boot camp (typical with what he was about to go through) and dumped me. I was utterly BESIDE myself. I knew he loved me and I love him more than anything on this Earth. So I waited patiently 5 months. I wrote him a letter for each day he was in boot camp and saved it in a notebook. When he can home for 1 week he avoided me he saw my family but not me. I saw a picture a girl had made a picture of him and her her cover photo on Facebook. I was stunned and hurt beyond imagination. I didn’t know who she was. He came to my house 4 hours before his flight back to California and took me to dinner and wouldn’t tell me anything about the girl and then told me he did not want me still. So the next couple of weeks I sobbed and then was angry I went to a party and T was there (note that each time I was with Ivan I never once was in contact with T, not for except the 2 night I had seen him within the two years). So he asked me about Ivan and I kissed him to be like “ok I’m done with Ivan” and I childishly wanted to hurt Ivan and make him jealous because I thought he had another girl waiting for him the whole time he was in boot camp. Then I never talked to T again and it’s been two years since and still I don’t even know if he lives around me anymore. Me and Ivan had reconciled months later, their Girl turned out to be no one but how was I supposed to know? I never told him about the kiss because I thought it was important .We have been very very happy and got engaged when became home on leave in me (yes we’re 20 but our love is very true and I thought it was mature). However 2 months ago we were face timing laughing and then we just were talking about people and it came to the subject of our breakups and we both asked question about what we were doing and I brought up that I kissed T two years ago five months after we broke up. And he FLIPPED!!! He broke up with me and literally cut me off cold no contact no answering. He’s furious. Says we are done for good and to move on from him. I am doing no contact now. He is mad that I didn’t tell him and considers it lying (which I said I totally understand and it never happened before and will never happen again) but I truly didn’t find it necessary because it was just a kiss and I was single for over 5 months! I love Ivan with every ounce of me. We were best friends and ENGAGED. He is very prideful and stubborn so this is hard. I’ve waited through long breakups with him but I’m scared he is done for good. But I don’t know how something like that can keep him away forever if he truly loves me. I just need someone advice and am totally willing to buy this plan I just need to know if I even have a chance. He loves me dearly but pride is a crazy thing with him. I don’t know what to do. I really need advice and then will purchase. Thank you. I am sorry that was so long, I can’t even describe the heartache I’m experiencing.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 10, 2016 at 1:15 pm

   HI Arissa,

   so, it’s been two months since you last talked? I think there’s still a chance that you will get back together, but it might take longer or same as 5 month like before.. Are you actively improving yourself while you’re not talking and when will he come home?

14. 

    Taniya

    September 5, 2016 at 10:19 am

    Last month I had cheated my boyfriend for the second time but everything had soon became fine and we were in a good state until 3 days back when the third guy came back in our life. I had again opened instagram and liked that guy’s pic and after an hour he calls me.I called his nickname on the phone by mistake and I was suffering from cold because if which my voice sounded like thickened with tears and he said that don’t U dare follow me or like my pic and I just simply said OK after which he cuts the phone,and he had recorded the conversation and he send that conversation to my lover because of which we had a very bad telephonic fight and after which he said that I don’t love you, I won’t ever get physical with you, I don’t wanna hear your voice, see your face or chat with you so better fuck off and he blocked me from Whatsapp and didn’t receive my call. But when I stopped calling him, that is from yesterday, I found that he has unblocked me from Whatsapp but hasn’t yet messaged or called me. I want to know whether he will come back to me or not

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 6, 2016 at 11:34 am

   Hi Taniya,

   we cant guarantee that but do you want to try the advice above?

15. 

    Lisa

    September 2, 2016 at 5:46 am

    Me and my now ex dated for almost 4 years in a long distance relationship, in march we would fight a lot, things got worst in May, I cheated on him with my friend, he found out about it and told me he was very very upset about it, but again things have gotten worst, we still texted for a month, in June we completely stopped texting,we haven’t talked to each other. But recently i heard he has a girlfriend but that they are not serious, now i really regret cheating on him and want him back so bad, i do truly love him still and I would do anything to win him back, help, I don’t know what to do, I really want to apologize to him, I don’t know if he will ever forgive me, I love him so much!

1. 

   Ashley

   September 6, 2016 at 12:44 am

   My boyfriend and I were together for 4 and a half years. We were very happy for a long time, but around January of this year, I started noticing that I was attracted to one of my coworkers. As time went on, it turned from just an attraction into a full blown crush. He was flirty with me and I knew he thought I was attractive/liked me because other coworkers would tell me that. He never made any moves on me or anything because he knew I had a boyfriend, and he actually used to work with my boyfriend, too. I would text this guy from time to time, nothing flirty, just like a friend would text another friend. At first I really just wanted to get to know him. I would try and hang out with him so I could get to know him better, but he usually rejected my invitations because he knew I was with somebody and didn’t want to be in that situation. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn’t go a day without texting him and we were starting to flirt with each other frequently. My feelings got so strong that I didn’t know what else to do besides tell him (which I realize now was my first mistake, I should have told my boyfriend instead so we could have tried to work through it), and he ended up telling me that he felt the same way. We didn’t know what to do because I was in a relationship. I have to mention that things were pretty rocky with my boyfriend at the time, and I wasn’t happy. So I decided that the best course of action was to break up with my boyfriend. At first, he was just really angry and said a lot of mean things. I hung out with the other guy the next night; nothing happened, we just walked his dog and talked and I told him that I broke up with my man, and he was really sweet and supportive about it. So then I talked to my boyfriend again, he said he was completely devastated and wanted to do anything he could to try and fix our relationship, but I wasn’t having it because I was so caught up in this other guy. My boyfriend ended up getting it out of me that I had feelings for someone else, and he completely lost it. I didn’t know what to do. We agreed to go on a break, which was supposed to be a month long, where I’d be living with my dad (my boyfriend and I had an apartment together). I wanted the break to mean I was single so that I could do whatever I needed to do and test the waters with this other guy. He didn’t want that, so we agreed that I would at least stay faithful to him during the break. Well, a few days later, the other guy ended up kissing me after we hung out. I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy it, but I knew that it was breaking the terms that we agreed on. I was supposed to be using this break as a reflection period to think about what I really wanted, but I ended up just using the time to do fun things with friends and hang out with this other guy, which I know was wrong. Anyways, a couple more days go by and I’m planning on hanging out with this new guy after work. My boyfriend texted me that night though and asked if we could meet up and talk. So I went over to the other guy’s house for a little bit, and we ended up kissing again, which lead to making out and he started to feel me up. I stopped him, knowing it had gone too far, and then I left to go talk to my boyfriend. We went to a park together and talked, and he told me that he didn’t think it was fair for him to be sitting and waiting around for me to decide between him and another guy, and that I needed to choose between the two of them. He wanted me to do it that night, but I couldn’t at that point because I was so torn. So we agreed on me making a decision 5 days from then. He also asked me that night if me and the guy had done anything (like kissing or sexual stuff) and I was so afraid to lose him right then and there that I just lied about it. He wanted me to take the next 5 days and really use them to think and figure out what I want, meaning not talking to him or the other guy. I agreed. I ended up staying the night at my apartment because we were talking until 3 in the morning and I was too tired to drive to my dad’s. The next morning we cuddled and made out and stuff. Then I left. The next few days I didn’t really talk to the other guy much, and I was really busy going to concerts and things with friends anyway. Well Friday night while I was at a concert, I ended up getting drunk and texting the guy, which I knew I wasn’t supposed to, and then we continued to text. I was confused because I really liked this guy, but I also didn’t want to lose 4 and a half years and a great relationship, so by Sunday I still had not made a decision. I went over to the apartment to tell my boyfriend that I needed some more time to decide. He didn’t want that but he agreed to another week anyway. So then Tuesday night after work, I made plans to hang out with the other guy. I went over to his house, and while I was there my boyfriend started texting me, asking what I was doing. I got worried and confused as to why he was asking me that, and I told him that I was maybe going to hang out with a friend (because one of my friends messaged me on FB earlier that night asking if I wanted to hang out, and I told her I was hanging out with this other guy), then he started calling me. So I stepped outside to call him back, and when he answered he sounded angry and told me I had one chance to tell him the truth about where I was. So I told him I was at the guy’s house. He said he had gone on my FB and read the conversation between me and my friend and that’s how he found out. He said I didn’t get any more chances or time and that I needed to decide RIGHT then and there if I wanted to be with him or not. He told me that if I didn’t leave the guy’s place right after I hung up and send him some kind of proof that I was leaving, that we were done and he was going to start moving all of my stuff out. I was really taken aback and didn’t know what to do. I went inside and told the other guy what was happening, and meanwhile my phone died. We ended up talking for about an hour and I told him all about how my boyfriend wanted me to choose, and he found out I was over there, etc. The guy told me that he really did like me and care about me and that he hoped I would choose him. So then he had to drive me to my car, which was parked at our work, and by the time I got in my car and put my phone on the charger, my boyfriend had sent me a bunch of texts saying I made my choice and it was over, and that my stuff would be waiting for me in the living room. I freaked out because I really did not want to lose him, so I called and frantically tried to tell him that my phone died and whatnot, and he would not hear it. He said that was it, it was over for good. I rushed over to the apartment to try and talk to him and things got heated. We were yelling at each other, I was trying to tell him that I made a mistake, and he was freaking out and calling me names and trying to leave but I wouldn’t let him. Eventually things calmed down, and he told me that if I wanted any kind of chance with him that I had to be honest right then and there, and also let him see the conversation over text between me and the other guy. I agreed, and I confessed to him that we had kissed and he felt me up. My boyfriend was furious. After reading the texts and seeing how much we flirted, he told me that I was a cheating lying bitch and he never wanted to see me again. He tried to make me leave and go sleep in my car, but it was 6 AM at that point and I was so tired, I insisted on sleeping on the couch. I was so sad and guilty about what I had done and how I’d lost him, but I did still have feelings for the other guy. The night after he broke up with me, I went over to the other guy’s house for some comfort and company. The day after was when I decided to go get all of my stuff out of the apartment. I was super sad, and was texting my boyfriend telling him how sorry I was and that I wanted him back. He told me that he had no feelings left for me at all, and wasn’t going to give me another chance. I was heartbroken, but I figured that my heart must want this other guy since I continued to pursue him, so a few days later, after not seeing him or talking to him, I decided that maybe it was time to move on. I hung out with the other guy some more, and then my ex texted me and said we needed to meet up and talk about the living situation and rent and things like that. At that point I was too emotional to see him, I didn’t think I would be able to handle it and that I was trying to move on. He told me that he was surprised I was already moving on, and I explained that it was because he had said all of those hurtful things to me when he broke up with me. Then he started telling me that his heart wanted to give me another chance even though his head didn’t think it was a good idea, and at that point I was pretty content just hanging out with the other guy and getting to know him, so I said I thought it might be best for us both to move on. We texted back and forth for DAYS, sending each other novels. At one point I told him that I couldn’t do the back and forth thing anymore and I needed some space, and he told me it wouldn’t be productive to not talk to him but to see the other guy. I didn’t reply. The next night I stayed over at the other guy’s place after drinking, and then come to find out the next day, someone (I’m guessing it was the guy’s roommate because he used to work with my ex too) told my ex that I had been staying over at this guy’s place pretty frequently and that we were “constantly having sex.” Which was not true. But my ex believed it because he had no more trust in me, and he told me I was an awful person and that we were done for good and I would regret what I did because I lost out on the best thing that ever happened to me. That’s when it hit me that I really did screw everything up, and I didn’t even want this other guy anymore, he was just a fling, but it was too late. My ex wanted nothing to do with me. For the next week, I tried showing him that I was serious about wanting him, and that I hadn’t slept with this guy, and I would send him pictures every night proving that I was at my dad’s and not with this guy. I also didn’t talk to the other guy really at all, except at work because we kind of had to communicate there. But my ex and I texted back and forth a lot, mostly me trying to convince him to give a chance and him explaining why that wasn’t a good idea. I left him a love note on his car, and I asked him if we could meet up and talk in person. He said there was nothing left to talk about but bills and serious things like that, but I wanted to convince him that we could make things work and that I was completely stupid, confused, and mislead and I made horrible mistakes this whole time, thinking this other guy was what I wanted. So we met up, I cried a lot and told him how sorry I was about how I handled things, told him I wanted nothing but him, and said I was willing to do anything to get him back and earn his trust again. He said he really was past the point of being emotional and that he was ready to move on. I asked if he would consider taking me back and let me know an answer within a week or so, and he said no, he had decided on moving on right now but he would let me know if that changes. I’m so ready to fight for him and prove that I was lost and thought this other person was what I wanted, but I was wrong about that and all I want is to fix my mistakes and try to work toward moving forward with him. I’m willing to do anything (quit my job, cut the other guy out, earn his trust back), whatever it takes to get him to see that our relationship is worth another try. I don’t know why I was so confused the whole time and changing my mind back and forth, but I know for sure now that this is what I want and that isn’t going to change. I want so badly to get him back eventually. Help!

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 7, 2016 at 5:01 am

   Hi Ashley,

   well, you have to stop begging him now. Do you want to try what Chris advised?

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 2, 2016 at 4:51 pm

   Hi Lisa,

   do you want to try what’s advised above?

16. 

    RK

    August 30, 2016 at 10:41 am

    Hi, my story is way to complicated, so he(ex1) and i have known each other for 7 years now, we dated like 3 years ago and he went abroad to study and it wasn’t a relationship, it was awkward he changed completely no messages no calls nothing, then one day i saw a pic of him kissing a girl, i confronted him, and we broke up. i still made efforts sent stuff on his bdays.. then eventually i stopped. i dated someone after(ex no.2) so did he. a year back we reconnected and he apologised to me ask for my forgiveness and made a lot of efforts to show he was sorry fr what he had done, though he had a drug habit so whatever he was doing he had no control on. anyway so we were together only not officially, and i started expecting a lot from him, to which i told my self he’s not my bf just to stop expecting. it was so stupid of me that i over thought all this and doubted the relationship. he was perfect! i was just being stubborn that he makes it official, cz i was insecure for what happened before. few days back i went out with my friends, i lost control on my alcohol and met my ex no. 2 and made out, and hurt my ex no.1. i told him the very next day and I’ve been apologising, all he says is he ain’t up for any bullshit, he doesn’t want a complicated life. he says give him some time he can’t think straight and talking about this messes with his head even more. I’ve told him i won’t give up on him, i made a huge mistake, and i really hope he can give me a second chance like how i gave him. I’m freakng out i can’t focus on anything, I’ve never done something like this before, i am sorry, but obviously actions speak louder.. some of my friends tell me I’ve done something really wrong, some tell me its ok everyone makes mistakes it wasn’t intentional, i don’t wanna lose him.. its easy to read have a 30 days nc its killing me to not talk to hm, we have never gone for so long without talking to each other.. even if we fought it would be a matter of few hours and someone or the other made up .. i know in my head i have to give him time, but my guilt is killing me, i don’t know how to give him time! he’ll think i don’t care I’ve left him after hurting him.. i have a hope he may understand, cause he’s been through this stage.. but i seriously can’t calm down.. one stupid drunk night, where i became needy, spoilt everything ! i can’t seem to forgive myself .. i don’t know what to do!

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 31, 2016 at 1:06 pm

   Hi Rk,
   yes, let him cool off and cut all tied with ex no 2

17. 

    jade

    August 29, 2016 at 8:19 pm

    So it was mentioned in the first passage why woman cheat and that most know why, well I dont.. I have no clue why I did it.
    He was the best boyfriend I could have asked for and I cheated twice, first time he forgave me and then I did it again ( little more complicated than that but details not needed).
    He was fun, and kind and teated me so well… and i have no fucken clue why I did it, not even now.
    I just simply cant wrap my head around it, and it honestly killed me inside to see how much I hurt him, and I loved him and still do… Maybe someone can help me out here?

    What could have been the reason for my stupid actions.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 31, 2016 at 10:50 am

   HI Jade,

   variety?

18. 

    Amber

    August 29, 2016 at 8:25 am

    Hi, my situation is a bit tricky. I have known this guy for almost a year, there has been a lot of unsaid feelings during it all. I like him, and vice versa. We grew pretty close eventually but never really got to talk about our feelings. I knew a bit later that he was still dealing with his ex girl so i sort of pulled back and said nothing about it. We have been cool until recently when i almost had sex with his friend but i didn’t and he found out so now i just feel so helpless.
    One thing that alarmed me was the fact that he said he used to talk to his friends about me and they were not for him and me “dating” and he said that was why he kept shutting me out every time he thought of asking me out.
    Am a bit confused coz i have had a change of heart too regarding my feelings towards him considering what he brought to light. So am in a dilemma whether to keep hope alive that he may come around or keep it moving

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 31, 2016 at 7:17 am

   Hi Amber,

   what did you mean that you had a change of heart? You don’t like him anymore? If yes, then take your time about things.. Think about what you really want.

19. 

    Jane

    August 28, 2016 at 8:57 pm

    My bf n I hav been dating for 6yrs. We met in d university. Studied same course, same class n wer each other’s best friend. Everything was fine until we went for one year mandatory service in d country. He was posted to a different state 4rm me. I made friends at my post n at some point we wer tryin to get our hands on a good payin job to support ourselves. One of my friends led me to a model job n we became model scouts. As tym grew by I became close to our boss jus as a friend Unknown to me I had been a bet btwn him n my friends to b laid. I grew fond of him n he was 10yrs older dan I am. I should hav read d signs but all I wanted was to b good friend n not live a life of regrets at d end. One day he invited for a wedding he was decorating d venue for n wen I got der things skyrocketed n I ended cheating on my man. I tried to not let it happen agn but der was sometin abt it dat made me fall into d temptation agn. I’d b liein to myself if I said he wasn’t good in bed. M d 1st girl my man has been with but not dis other guy. I slept wit him 6tyms. I hated myself for it as I found it hard to detach 4rm dis problem. I silently prayed to God to rescue me 4rm my predicament n he used my so called friends to do it. I had to confess all dat happened to dem n to my man. I cut off communication wit d other guy n my friends. For months me n my man hav been struggling wit d pain n d hurt. At 1st he tried breaking up wit me but came back to make sure I was doing d ryt tin spiritually, physically n all. He tried to convince himself to continue wit d relationship but after a period of tym he stopped talkn to me. Until weeks went by n he started communicating agn n we enrolled in computer courses to keep us busy. But today he told me he wasn’t feeling d relationship agn n told me we shud jus b friends. But deep down I know he is still hurtn n tryn to heal d same way I am. Plz I don’t want to lose him. Help me

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 30, 2016 at 7:26 pm

   Hi Jane,

   do you want to try what Chris advised and let your ex heal for now?

20. 

    Aura

    August 26, 2016 at 3:43 am

    My ex and i were together for 6 years and lived together for 5 years, i am his first everything, gf, kiss, sexual partner, etc… I didn’t physically cheat on him but what i did was talk to multiple guys online and exchanged pictures. None of my pictures were fully nude but quite sexy and some what revealing. He was devastated by all of it and mentioned feeling “stupid” because i was the insecure one always suspecting him of cheating because of what i thought where clear red flags of infidelity. Turns out he was fully devoted to me and i just put these scenarios in my own head. Anyway, straight after finding everything he stayed at a friends. The next day he was texting me basically saying there was no way he could see past this, he was too angry, hurt, and we just cant do it. However, that night he came over and it was like a 180, he all of a sudden wanted to work through it and he still loved me and he still very much cared. Next day he goes back to work and again, 180, hes angry again saying he needs a break…etc…he traveled back home to his family to “clear” his mind and left for 4 days. During this time i implemented NC to give him his space and time. He said he needed it to see how much he would miss me. He gets back and we start talking, turns out he told his family and none of them had anything good to say and that his trip was terrible. He spent the majority of time sleeping and angry while his family was basically telling him to “get out.” The day he returned he broke up with me and started staying at his friends house. I again implemented NC up until yesterday. I caved. He answered my call because he thought something happened to me he debated on answering though. We talked for a couple hours just kind of going over things, he mentioned he was still angry and thinking of it sets him off but he was entering a sadness stage. I did something i probably shouldn’t have done but i tried to convince him that all this was a wake-up call and that i wanted nothing more but a second chance to prove to him i can chance and it would be different. I had started seeing a therapist and notified him that i was taking proper actions to better myself and that i just needed that one chance to -show- him it would be different, i told him i wanted to remind him of why he fell in love with me to begin with. He basically said “we’ll hang out and ill see how i feel.” Now NC is kind of difficult for us because we have some debt together we have to take care of twice a month so we have to see each other at least twice a month to take care of that. He told me we would “hang out” the following week and that this is basically him giving me that chance to make him think differently of me. My concern is; by not doing a full 30 day NC i feel i practically give him no time to heal. He’s still angry. At the same time though, he tells me he still very much cares about me doesn’t want to leave me hanging with all our bills/rent. One thing in particular that he says is that when we are physically together it feels different, hes less mad and more “at peace” but still confused. That’s a good sign right? I want him back and am willing to do anything to make it work, i just don’t want to mess up my chances. I’m also afraid that in time of NC he’ll find someone else and that would not only devastate me, but hes not the type to just casually date. If he starts dating someone i feel like it would be a lengthy one and he would completely close me off to any possibility of working things out. What do i do!?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 30, 2016 at 5:56 am

   Hi Aura,

   I think you should talk to him that both of you need space and to just see each other for the bills and then go into no contact for both of you to heal and for you to improve