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Rachael
April 14, 2014 at 5:16 am
I cheated on my boyfriend I din have a another relationship buh I almost slept with another guy. My boyfriend was fighting fo no reason and I thought what if he s playing with me? I din wanna get hurt so I thought of not falling hard for him .I was scared if being committed and then getting hurt. Buh then I felt guilty and told my boyfriend. He kept scolding all da time now he goes hot n cold all da time. I wanna make it upto him somehow I don’t wanna loose him I want him but idk what to do
admin
April 14, 2014 at 5:37 pm
Well, you should go NC immediately and also think if you really want your ex back. Cheating is tough because it means your ex wasnt giving you something that you needed and he may not be the best match for you.
Rachael
April 14, 2014 at 5:43 am
He slapped me then he wanted me to bunk class ans sleep with him I did dat too he made me delete my Facebook and instagram I did those he wanted me to get a new number I did day also and dat other guy was one of exes buh my boyfriends knows I wasn’t serious wit that guy. I hd a serious relationship I got dumped after dat I played so many guys and lived on weed I stopped those for my boyfriend.
admin
April 14, 2014 at 5:37 pm
I think you need to get away from this guy immediatly if he is physically abusing you.
Shriee
April 13, 2014 at 12:11 pm
Help my bf just found out that I messaged my ex boyfriend on Facebook, I only messaged him because I have depression and my boyfriend wasn’t showing me love, I felt so alone I only messaged him but my boyfriend has now finished with me and completely despises me! I can’t go on without him, I seriously didn’t mean anything that I said to my ex.. I don’t know how to prove to him how I love him how can get him back I need him 🙁
Taylor
April 11, 2014 at 7:29 pm
I cheated on my best friend of 1 1/2 years with my best friends boyfriend…yeah I know. My ex told me their is zero chance in getting him back but he is my world and I can’t do anything without him. It’s so hard to not text or call him cause I just want him to know what I have to say and if I don’t text what I’m feeling, hell either forget about me and try moving on. He blocked me and unfollowed me on all social media and I can’t see or look at what he’s doing which worries me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I need him back in my life again. He is completely serious about not wanting me anymore but I’m not goving up. Do you think time and space will work out in the long run?
admin
April 12, 2014 at 4:13 pm
Oh my god… that’s really bad.
Well, time and space can help. Is your ex a very forgiving person?
Brittney
April 11, 2014 at 5:49 pm
Hey there Chris,
I have been dating this guy for 2 years. I’ve known him my whole life but we started our relationship off long distance. I lived in central Florida for school and he lived in south Florida in our home town. Everything was great, and as it began to get more serious, insecurities on both of our parts began to show. I would go out with coworkers after work and have drinks. The drinking would upset him. I kind of brushed that off because I did not think it was a big deal. And I still wanted to go do things and socialize with my friends. And I thought he was overreacting. That turned into many fights. And we would break up constantly and immediately get back together that same day or a few days after. During one of the fights, I cheated on him with a coworker when I had to much to drink. I feel like I was pushed into it. He had brought up cheating before even though I never had until that point. He was insecure about me cheating because we were so far apart. And ultimately that’s what ended up happening.
The cheating happened over a year ago. At the time my boyfriend wasn’t aware of that and wanted me to move back home. I moved back home but did not move in with him. After a few months, we had an arguement about something trivial and we broke up over it. A few days later, I decided to tell him about cheating on him and finally put it all on the table. This was about 5 months ago.
He was incredibly hurt, and said just about any mean thing he could think of. We didn’t speak for 2 weeks and he texted me apologizing for the things he said and that he was still in love with me. He said we had been incredibly happy together and the majority of our fights were because of pent up secrets. We’ve been on and off now for the last 5 months. He’ll say he loves me and that he’s forgiven me. And then it will be a complete 180 and he’ll say he doesn’t want a relationship because he thinks I’ll hurt him again. He says he can’t give me the person he used to be because I hurt him so badly.
During the last 5 months, when he says he doesn’t want to continue with us… I’ll do all the things you shouldn’t do after a breakup. Call, text him, try to talk about it with him. I’ve shown up at his house. And I’ve also turned the table on him and made him think I wasn’t going to come back with all the same results from him. He’ll text a million times. Call me. Apologize.
Last week, he was telling me how much he loved me. I’ve been to his house for family functions in the last month with all of his extended family. A few days ago, he said he doesn’t want to have a relationship. That he’s forgiven me but can’t let me in like we were before.
I’m at a complete loss. I know he loves me. And he knows I love him. But I don’t know what to do anymore. I tell myself I won’t contact him and a couple days in its just becomes so hard.
Please help.
Rosa
April 11, 2014 at 4:41 pm
I recently cheated on my boyfriend …. Well ex… He broke up w me 2 days ago the only reason he found out was because he took my phone without me knowing so he went through my messages and there was proof thir my messages that I was cheatin on him.. I forgot to delete the messages w te guy I cheated with … Idont know why to do this isn’t the first time but I really do love him … He hates me he seriously told me to kill my self but he’s just so angry I love him so much I don’t know what to do I want him back i don’t know what else to do…
admin
April 12, 2014 at 4:03 pm
Well, understand that he is probably furious with you so give him some space.
Why did you cheat on him? WAs he not giving you enough in the relationship?
Rosa
April 13, 2014 at 6:54 am
Yea he is furious … And yea I felt like I was never good enough for him… But I never realized how much this cheating effectede and him so much 🙁 it’s my birthday and he wants to take me out to eat so lets see how that goes
admin
April 13, 2014 at 5:00 pm
He probably just has trouble expressing his feelings for you.
Randi
April 10, 2014 at 8:47 am
HELP! I moved away to a new bigger city 4 months ago without my boyfriend and heated as soon as I moved away. I hooked up with this guy ONCE and then he became obsessed with me so i cut all contact with him…3 months later he sees me walking down the street and send this creepy text saying “you looked sexy in that yellow dress” considering that I deleted his number 3 months ago I got scared and screenshoted the the text an sent it to my boyfriend. My boyfriend texted the number and little did I know it was the guy who I heated on so obviously they talked and so my boyfriend found out! I admitted to it and apologized I honestly have no idea why I cheated but I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and we’re so attached to each other and idk what to do!! He hasent broken up with me yet but what do I do to prove my love and honesty to him?!?! I want my old loving perfect relationship back 🙁
admin
April 11, 2014 at 3:55 am
You have to have an idea of why you cheated? Come on now? I am not buying that you had no idea.
mint
April 10, 2014 at 7:57 am
Hi Chris,
i really have problem… i done so bad to my bf, actually now he is my ex bf. well i did lie to him about one guy… he is my ex bf before him… the story is i just chat with him my ex-ex bf and my bf caught me that i did text… i know its bad but you know me and my ex ex didnt love each other anymore just friendly way and he caught many time (10 times) and my bf broke up with me
the problem is i really love this guy… really really love him and i dont wanna lose him now he start find a girl and go out to date with ,its just 2 days we broke up… now he date a girl already
i dont know what to do i wanna fix it and show him how much i love him and i will be better
admin
April 11, 2014 at 3:53 am
Well, don’t bull rush him with messages yet. You might be interested in trying something like the NC rule out.
Anaisha
April 9, 2014 at 4:13 pm
Well my boyfriend thinks I’m cheating because I have other guy friends that I talk too. And me and a guy friend were talking in email and he acted like he wanted to be more than friends but I told him I didn’t want him. And then my guy friend was telling everyone that I was trying to get with him and now the whole school thinks that I’m trying to get with another guy while I’m with my boyfriend and my boyfriend thinks I’m cheating on him. What should I do.?
admin
April 10, 2014 at 2:13 am
How old is your boyfriend? He sounds a bit immature to me.
Harini
April 8, 2014 at 5:21 pm
I was with my boyfriend for 10 months, but I was feeling very ignored and I thought I didn’t mean much to him. So I decided to break up with him but he surprised me by flipping and telling me I’m all that matters to him and that he can’t let me go. But I couldn’t get myself to agree, so I told him we will atleast have a break. He didn’t agree because he was afraid I would just leave him anyway. But in my mind, it was already over. And about a month later I met up with a guy who I started texting after I decided to break up with my guy. So when I met the guy, we kissed a lot and did some humping :/ After that, I met my bf a few times, but I made it clear that we weren’t together. But eventually I started to want to be with him again so slowly, I kinda got back to being how I was with him before. But then, the guy I met before was in town, and I met him and the same kissing and humping happened again. And after that I never met him. My guy is madly in love with me. Now I don’t know if I should tell him and how. Technically, I wasn’t with him the first time it happened. But the second time it did, I was starting to go back to him. Now I know I love him and wanna be with him. Things are great right now, although he is still healing from me having gone away from him for about 2 months. So, should I tell him about it or not? My bestfriend told me that I should coz he deserves to know. But I really don’t have the heart to hurt him even more than I already did when I broke up 🙁 I wanna be with him only.. 🙁
admin
April 10, 2014 at 1:34 am
Well, if it was me I would want to know something happened. But thats me. The decision is ultimately yours.
Jake
April 8, 2014 at 2:56 pm
I’m a guy. I got here by trying to understand what my recently ex-girlfriend might be going through. I broke up with her because she cheated and the trust issues never went away from that point. That was six months ago. I looked for every sign that she understood what effect this had on me and also looked for efforts from her to help mend the relationship by being able to gain my trust back. Personally, I couldn’t get over the cheating and that was hurting both of us. A lot of the comments seem to be from people that lack empathy, self-control and probably have deep narcissistic personalities. Some people need to learn lessons the hard way. If you are the type of person that measures self-worth by the amount of attention people give you (sexually) then life will probably lack substance for you. In terms of potential life partners, men like women are attracted to independent, self-confident, value adding individuals. Advice on how to get your boyfriend or girlfriend back? Let him go, learn whether you want a meaningful relationship that next time you meet someone. If not, do not waste people’s time with your self-esteem issues.
admin
April 8, 2014 at 6:23 pm
Check out my other site Ex Girlfriend Recovery.
Yang
April 8, 2014 at 9:01 am
Hi,
I broke up with my partner and built another relationhip with other guy and then after couple of months I realized that I want my ex back because of realizing his worth.
I keep on telling him that I will not do that again, I will not hurt him again but until now he didn’t trust me, he doesn’t want me back on his life again.
But even we are not committed anymore we still do oftentimes the things we used to do like sleeping together.
Why we are now like that?
Is there possibility to bring back the things like before?
Christiana
April 7, 2014 at 9:29 am
So Chris.. I just got caught up with my now ex boyfriend coming home from another guys house. I didn’t know he was waiting outside my house for like.. 5 hours.. So anyway.. I didn’t have sex with the guy or anything. Just went to his house and chilled and kissed a little.. He’s extremely hurt like.. Very very emotional and I really wanna make everything better. Oh and prom is like.. Next weekend. So.. Yeah idk what to do.
admin
April 7, 2014 at 4:49 pm
Well, you cheated on him… he does have a right to be angry with you.
Christiana
April 8, 2014 at 4:15 am
Yeah I understand but he “broke up with me” like 2-3 weeks ago. When I ask him if he claimed me he said no. But we were still messing around like we were together just without the title. So what should I do to make things better?
Yvette
April 6, 2014 at 5:14 pm
Well I was caught flirting with another guy through text message we flirted and my boyfriend caught me. It hurt him a lot and well right away we decided to go back together. We have our ups and downs but when we have sex were all happy and then later through out the day. He stops calling me babe and says you cheated on me have fun talking to him. Which stuns me because we just had sex a couple hours of ago. And I don’t even talk to the guy anymore I cut him out of my life but now I don’t know what my boyfriend is thinking. I know he’s mad but why does this happen. Is there anything I can for this to stop.
admin
April 7, 2014 at 5:00 pm
I mean, I guess its not cool to flirt with someone. What made you feel you had to go elsewhere for that type of emotional connection? Was the flirting really that intense?
Yvette
April 7, 2014 at 1:09 am
One more thing I just found out he said its hard to forget how can I fix this help me!!
Valeska William
April 5, 2014 at 2:22 pm
Good morning chris i recently wrote u in your email about my
Situation and i totally forgot to mention why i cheated i believe i did because around the time me and the other guy was talking a couple months before i met up with another guy to meet for the very first time nothing serious i was just meeting a new person but he was very upset but down along the line we started having problems such as bad communication we argued a lot and in the month of november last year the guy who i cheated on my bf with asked me to be his gf and i accepted now I’ve only seen this guy twice and the most we did was kiss that’s it but eventually i finally came to the conclusion that i needed to stop doing what i was doing so i ended it in the beginning of march and a couple days later my bf met my parents and i met his father and everything has been going great up until like two weeks ago he found out i cheated on him and we broke up last week monday please help me get the love of my life back.
admin
April 6, 2014 at 5:09 pm
Well, obviously you shouldnt have cheated on him.
Have you been in contact with him since he found out?
Lyn
April 5, 2014 at 10:04 am
I have a boyfriend for 7 years and he broke up with me because I cheated on him which is true. I’ve been loyal for almost 7 years until that day. I figured I had to come clean so I told him everything. I cheated because I was challenged and I got curious, so I make out with this other guy. It was just sex. Nothing more. And to my surprise, he also confessed that he cheated on me 5 years ago. I Forgave him for what he did But he still won’t accept the mistake I made. Our relationship have its ups and downs but it was the best times of our lives. Please help. 🙁
admin
April 6, 2014 at 5:04 pm
Ok, I am going to try to remain very calm about this.
There is no such thing as “just sex.”
If you cheated on your ex and you are saying, “Oh, it was just sex.” Then we have a major problem.
Lyn
April 14, 2014 at 3:10 pm
Okay, so what can be that major problem? I’m still confused. I’m still baffled why I did it. But I do admit to myself that it was pretty stupid of me to hurt a man who has changed everything for me. I love him. He gave me another shot after a week of our break up but things are no longer the same. How long does it take for a man’s bruised ego to heal? I don’t know what to do. I’m facing the consequences of what I’ve done.
missy
April 4, 2014 at 5:30 pm
Hey chris
During my relationship I was talking to an old ex that I had strong feelings for. My ex bf found out and claimed I cheated on him. The two of us were in love but after he found out he broke up with me. But two weeks before I cut off my old ex from my life.
I really want him back. Please help me I don’t want to lose him completely.
admin
April 6, 2014 at 4:44 pm
Was it more of an emotional connection or did you get physical with the old flame?
Ashley
April 4, 2014 at 3:26 pm
Heres my situation I would like some thoughts on this. So me and my BF have been dating for right at 2 years. He cheated on me about 6 months into the relationship. I never thought of leaving him because I love him. I was hurt yes yet I gave him a chance. So yes about 6 months later I slipped up and cheated on him. I read where you said that you should need to cut all ties with the guy you cheated with and here is my problem. I had done that well I told the other guy that I could not do this anymore that I loved my BF. So when that got told to this other guy he got exteremly mad and ran and told my BF what had happened. So when I was confronted with it I of course admitted it. I was told by my BF that we were going to work on things and make them better, until the next day and he told me to get out ( yes I was living with him) so he changed his mind then he told my mother that he still loved me just couldn’t be with me right now. So then I get told that I was given all the chances to tell him what I had done, yet so did he before I found out. I have left him alone to the best of my ability, only sending txts about my things I could not find and telling him I love him maybe once a day. Where do you think I stand with this and what do I do next?
Ann
April 4, 2014 at 2:41 am
Hi Chris, What if you did not cheat on your EX BF, but because of some circumstantial evidence your EX BF thinks you might have or might have wanted to? Does this count as cheating? Do the guidelines on this page apply?
admin
April 4, 2014 at 5:17 pm
Yes they would still apply.
sandra
April 3, 2014 at 1:25 pm
Hmmmmmm i cheated on ma guy 3 days ago wid a frnd.cuz i luv him soo much i tld him everything nt knowin he was sooo bored n mad at me. he tld me he ll neva trust n show ker as we wer doin at first.plsss help me to win his hrt,,n hw he can trust me again cuz i do luv him paaa.
admin
April 4, 2014 at 4:59 pm
Wait, why did you cheat? You are in love with your friend or your ex?
Alexandria
April 2, 2014 at 12:32 am
My Ex and I were together for nearly 7 years. We started dating in high school. We were each other’s first sexual partners and only until I made the mistake of cheating on him. We had just gone through an abortion together..there was a lot of resentment and arguments going on. I felt so lost and unloved, I met this guy at my work. I never planned to cheat on my ex but it happened that one time. Then the guy sent me a couple videos of himself via email while my ex and I were broken up. When we got back together he found those videos and found out about what I had done with this other man. This was in January and instead of breaking up with me he stayed with me until two weeks ago.. he started talking to a woman up at his work about his failed relationship with me and she was doing the same with him. They started to really like each other and I guess decided to talk and see where things would lead. on the friday their two weeks off of work he was texting her and wanted me to give him a break. The problem is that I have not applied the no contact rule these past two weeks at all. They have been hanging out everyday and its killing me. He still tells me that he will always love me and miss me. That he wants to continue to see each other grow as people and continue to be in each others lives. She is also a very sweet, respectable lady and I am so frightened that they are going to work out to be everything we didn’t. I would be happy for him but I also feel that he is my absolute soul mate. There is no other man on earth I would rather spend the rest of my life with. I would rather spend my time and energy on improving and rebuilding that trust and love with him rather than start new. I would never cheat on him again. He is the most amazing man I have ever had the fortune of meeting in my life and I would be not only lucky but blessed to have him back in my life. I saw him today and it was very light and friendly. We talked about how things were going with her, how he felt. Many of which were things I just read are what not to say or do. Afterwards he cut me short because he was going out on a date with her but then said that I should call him and that we should get together again tomorrow and talk? Do you have any advice for me? I know you say that the no contact rule is a must but I honestly think it will just push them closer and give him more reason to quit talking to me. He is not the type to chase and I’m almost positive it’s not going to work on him? Please help! I am so unsure of what to do. He is so very important to me, my best friend even. There is not a person besides my own family who knows me better!
admin
April 2, 2014 at 5:37 pm
Why did you cheat on him?
Alexandria
April 2, 2014 at 9:55 pm
Because I was in a lot of emotional pain as i stated above. I had just gone through an abortion. I tried to talk to him and tell him how I felt. I tried so many times to get it through but he didn’t see how much I was hurting. He didn’t understand. I hope that answers your question… could you answer my others please? I know I made a horrible mistake, I really do love him. between the abortion and this I’m in the most pain I’ve ever dealt with in my entire life. I need guidance. I want to fix what I had and create a bright future to share with the one person who knows me inside and out.
Alexandria
April 2, 2014 at 12:59 am
Another thing I think I should clarify is that he is not pressuring me for sex during our talks, in fact, he thinks it would be wrong to do that when he is talking/ dating this new girl. He has always been a gentleman. However when we do see each other we will hug, hold hands, kiss on the lips (no tongue)… we still tell each other we love each other and that we always will. The hardest part is that he won’t tell her we’ve been hanging out as friends? he thinks that it will be too much on their early relationship for her to handle us being close and her mother is very protective and does not want us to have any friendship at this point. Does it seem like he is trying to make this easier on me? or that he is simply trying to do what he says and smooth over our transition into best buddies. he said something that really bothered me today… that if they didn’t work out I was the next best thing. I don’t want to be the next best thing, I want to be his one and only again and vise versa. I would rather be friends than to NOT have him in my life but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up or that I don’t want something more with him.