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Post categories
Lyn
June 6, 2020 at 5:51 pm
Hi can u help M I have a 5 yrs long distance relationship but I cheat him and I wnat him to come back to me and he say to me tht he will be there for m if I need help and he say tht he still loves m but he block m in his phone .. Wht shall I do pls help m some advice so tht I cnat feel pain and hurts too cos I. Still love him even I do mistakes to him .
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 7, 2020 at 8:08 pm
Hi Lyn, if you cheated then you need to understand that you hurt and broke his trust. You are going to have to follow the program starting with a No Contact so that you give them time to get over the hurt. I would avoid posting anything that hints you are around other guys or dating for the time being
Kasim Deborah
May 25, 2020 at 3:39 pm
Hi, my bf is this caring and loving guy, he proposed to me December 2019 and we did how introduction feb 2020,but after the introduction he changed, he stoped calling as b4, the caring was not there anymore, I called him explain to him am feeling lonly..he apologized and we move on yet to changes, this make me go out with my co worker … He calls texk and the caring was so much, my fiance found out about it and I apologise but he is still very mad at me, he even refuses to touch me ….. Like I irritate him pls I need advice on wat to do and how to get my fiance back
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 7, 2020 at 4:13 pm
Hey Kasim, so when you spent time with your co worker did you cheat? If so then you need to understand that you broke his trust and that he is going to find it difficult to be with you in a certain way for some time. You are going to have to be patient and allow him time to deal with the fact that you were with someone else
Jenn
May 3, 2020 at 3:18 am
I need some good advice on this situation. Everything is personal and I dont want to post publically. Thanks. Jenn
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 3, 2020 at 10:01 am
Hi Jenn, so there are a few options here
1 – you can post and ask advice with a fake name, and I can advise best I can
2 – take a look at the products here including one to on coaching, the private Facebook page where a number of mods will be able to help you in group, you can again make a fake profile to use this group so that your identity is protected https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/products/
alyssa
April 20, 2020 at 1:54 am
Hi, in need of help! My ex and I were together for a year–extremely happy, minimal fights, very attached to each other, madly in love… then the month of our one year he started to get really busy with other things and couldn’t make enough time for me so we started to grow apart emotionally which led me to find that fulfillment in a co-worker (emotionally). I immediately alerted him that I was having thoughts for someone else and was second-guessing our relationship (clearly misguided and blinded) but I reassured him that I would remain with him because I loved him and as for the other guy, that we would only be friends. Shortly after while my needs still weren’t being met, I went to make plans to hang out with the co-worker behind my boyfriends back with no intention to do anything which we didn’t but my boyfriend later found out and was very mad. I expressed to him that I was really confused about what I wanted in life relationship-wise and that we should break up so I could “explore my options” and see what I wanted. (I obviously made him a second choice and belittled him) The co-worker and I had our fling and things ended and I went running back to my boyfriend who forgave me and took me back although he was reluctant. After him throwing it in my face a couple of times in the two weeks after getting back together and him being withdrawn from me I started to feel like things just weren’t going to go well and we would end up breaking up. I started talking to guys online out of desperation for a connection (only wanting a friend) and ended up making plans behind my boyfriends back again to meet someone who I again intended for nothing to happen with. After talking for a couple of hours he convinced me that things were never going to work with my boyfriend and I should just give up (he only said this to get me to have sex with him), and after being fully convinced I cheated on my boyfriend again. I told him that night and he said he would never take me back but after two days of apologizing and convincing him to give me one last chance he agreed. And then 2 weeks ago out of the blue when we were doing well, after an argument he stated he needed time to find himself and that he was never over the cheating situations and never wants to get back with me. I was stupid and begged him to stay and even went to his house to beg him but he stood his ground and now I’ve just been doing no contact and don’t know if I should even bother anymore or what to do next.
Lathika
April 16, 2020 at 7:31 pm
Need a advise
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 17, 2020 at 3:10 pm
Hi Lathika, if you post to your situation here and I will advice best I can
Anjali
April 10, 2020 at 6:25 pm
Thanks for sharing these ideas
It is very helpful
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 11, 2020 at 11:30 pm
Thanks Anjali
Nothando
April 7, 2020 at 10:04 pm
I met my boyfriend back in 2015 and we first broke up in 2016. During our breakup, i started spending most of my time wirh my male best friend.
When we got back together, he started hinting that he doesnt ljke me spending time with men. I found that unbearable because he broke up with me for no apparent reason. Plus, he was my first everything. I felt that he didnt appreciate me as a woman.
We broke up again in 2018 because he cheated on me. Now here’s the funny part. He is convinced that i betrayed him(and i swear on my life that i didnt) but i can’t prove that i didn’t. Now we are back together though, but he is not thrilled with the fact that i still talk to my male best friend.
What amazes me is why he feels that i did something dirty with my friend when he also has female friends. I seriously dont appreciate his attitude and im tired. I love hi, but im really tired.
If possible, i would like to go back to having the healthy realationship before everything got messed up. Do you perhaps have any advice on how I can do that?
Yours
Nothando
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 11, 2020 at 11:14 pm
Hi there, so the issue I think is he has a guilty conscience where he is worried you are going to do to him, what he has done to you. The most important thing here is that you do not stop spending time with your best friend, if you wanted more with him then you both would have made something happen when you were single. Your guy / ex needs to realise that. I would look up a local couples therapist if you want this relationship to work, but it sounds as if he is holding guilt for his own shortcomings nothing to do with you
Daffy_14
March 15, 2020 at 3:29 pm
Hi,
I cheated on my boyfriend with my boss. It happened for about 3 months. And in January he found photos of boss and me in Google Photos. We couldn’t stay no contact. We are talking but sometimes he’s positive saying we may get back. But sometimes he’s like he will find someone else. Most of the time we are talking as we were used to.
I need him back. Will he be mine?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 17, 2020 at 8:38 pm
Hi Daffy, have you looked at the reason you felt the need to cheat on your boyfriend in the first place? There must have been something missing in the relationship to make you tempted to go else where. If you want your ex back then you are going to have to be open and honest with him and earn his trust back, this is going to be difficult if you are still working in the same place with your boss.
Anonymous
March 12, 2020 at 3:27 am
So I was talking to this guy and we stop talkin the end of last year so I met somebody else and we was good and one of the kids as abou my ex and another day the other kid said he just left now the one I’m talkin to now was like he knew I was still messing wit him and I told him I’m not I don’t want him that I wanted to be wit my new one but he don’t believe me how can I get him to believe me and trust me that it’s only him I want
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 12, 2020 at 12:56 pm
Hey there so if you told the new guy the truth and he still didnt believe you then there is not more you can really do until his emotions have calmed. Allow him space and to come to you first, or reach out in 30 days
Anonymous
March 3, 2020 at 5:44 am
i was talking to this guy for a few weeks and one night we were at a party and my ex was there. everyone was drunk and my guy had to go to bed bc he had to get up early. so my ex tried to kiss me and i pushed him off and told him to stop, and he did. i remember we were talking to each other and i was showing him how to solve a rubik’s cube. there a big blank space that i don’t remember, and then i remember going to bed. people who were there that night are saying me and my ex had sex, but i don’t remember anything like that happening. i told my guy that my ex kissed me but i pushed him off and said i don’t remember anything more than that happening. he believes the people who said we had sex, and now he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. i want him back, and i don’t know what to do.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 7, 2020 at 10:04 am
Hi there, so you need to allow your guy to process the information and let him decide if he wants to come back to you. If not then you need to follow this process. Stick with No Contact for at least 30 days.
Iris
February 29, 2020 at 10:43 am
I had a long distance relationship with a married guy, and it was so difficult because I felt like (or I was) just a side chick, knowing that he has a wife who posted “married life” stuff about them on her social media, and he always went back to the apartment he shared with his wife. Although he had been telling me that he hadn’t touched his wife for awhile and that he was working on separating amicably from her, things didn’t seem to progress and I told him we were done. We didn’t talk for over a month, and during that time, I met another person to get over him. Of course, this is never the right way to get over a person because I never got over the married guy. We reconnected, and started spending time again. One day, he asked me if I had slept with another person before we reconnected. I told him the truth, and he got mad and left me. He finally explained over a text that he loved me, that his wife moved out that weekend, that they broke the news to her family, and that he landed a job at a place where he and I could be together, but he felt like an idiot for doing all this because of what I did. I explained why I did what I did and asked him for another chance. He told me, if I wanna show him he ever mattered anything to him, to never contact him again. I haven’t contacted him since because I want to show him that I truly care about him, but I’m afraid to contact him again. Can I still contact him after the “no contact” period, or should I work on getting over him?
Thank you for reading the long post.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 12, 2020 at 11:13 pm
Hi Iris if you want to try get your ex back then following this program is the way forward for you to give yourself the best chance of getting him back
Teresa
February 25, 2020 at 11:47 pm
I cheated on my boyfriend that I been with for 10 years with 3 kids about 4 years ago. Around 3 months ago I found out he has been talking to a female for hours and cheated on me, he wants to break up because he keeps thinking about the time I cheated . Still live together in the same house because of the kids, I want to make things work but I feel like he really is interested in this other female. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 2, 2020 at 11:02 pm
Hi Teresa, it sounds as if your partner has a grass is greener syndrome but is trying to use what you did in the past as justification. As you want to make the relationship work, and he is currently focused on the other woman you have to allow him to leave and go into a limited no contact, where you only speak about the house responsibilities and the children. Read about the being there method and there is also an article about limited no contact and how to follow it when you share children
Claudia
February 16, 2020 at 7:53 am
Me and my boyfriend met last year november but he was unsure if he wanted a relationship or not but yet i was there i stayed he dumped me before i was still there later on he became just someone else onday we good the other he ignored me he says he loves me but at times i was unsure if its true so one morning he just texted my outa the blue he dont want a relationship hes not anymore interested in me and we waistin each others time i felt really bad coz i love him and that whole day he ignored me so i cheated on him slept with a guy outa anger and the next day he wanted me back and i just told him the truth since than things aint normal or actually nice he calls me names whore stuff i feel very bad but i love him and really want him back what do i do
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 16, 2020 at 9:01 am
Hi Claudia, so if he broke up with you and told you he did not want a relationship then you did not cheat, so do not give him that power to blame you for the break down of the relationship. You may love him but he is treating you as an option consistently breaking up and then telling you he wants you back. I suggest that you go into a no contact and work on yourself for some time, start dating other guys casually as you will see not everyone will treat you this way, and as much as you love him. I don’t think he does love you as he keeps making you feel bad and ending the relationship when he feels like it because he knows he can have you back when ever he wants.
Dee
February 13, 2020 at 12:07 pm
Hi
I dated my man for fours years. In those four years he cheated on me twice. I chose to forgive him but the relationship was hard and he still didn’t seem sorry. He would ghost me or shout at me then later on apologize and say he had a bad day. So last December it was my graduation and I asked him to accompany me though he refused. I asked him if I can later on go to his place for a sleepover he declined in a rude manner. I was sad so I decided to go out with my friend. One thing lead to another my friend and I ended up having sex. I was so ashamed I decided to keep it to myself. My boyfriend later on apologized and said he needed one last chance to redeem himself I accepted though didn’t tell him about my one night stand. Last Sunday as I was cooking he went through my texts with my friend and saw a text confessing my cheating during that graduation. He dumped me instantly. I tried to call him and text him still no answer. I texted him and told him the whole truth about that night still no reply.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 22, 2020 at 8:35 pm
Dee I hope you see the irony of the situation where he cheats on you twice, treats you badly and isn’t supportive during a big moment in your life. Yet is hurt by you seeking comfort from a friend. I completely stand by that cheating is wrong but the fact he treats you badly but is then upset when you do it to his shows you what sort of person he is
Ambra
February 11, 2020 at 10:09 am
Hi
Me and my boyfriend have 5 years together after some fight we decided to broke up … in this period i cheated to another men no sex but it is again cheating.. after a month my boyfriend came again and asked to start it over once more i told him
Dhe truth but he decided not to forgive me
How can i get him back? Please help me
I never cheated before or during the time we were together
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 11, 2020 at 10:57 pm
Hey Ambra, so you would have to take some time in No Contact, where you work on yourself and ask yourself why you cheated on your ex, what was the relationship missing? You need to work on becoming Ungettable without showing you are around any other men especially the one you cheated with
Khushboo.
January 9, 2020 at 4:59 pm
I cheated on my bf bcs I was so alone. I reside in India and he is in Australia. We planned to get married and have kids. I Cheated bcs my emotional needs were not met. And the moment I started talking to another guy I forgot my sorrows and went on a physical relation. All this happened for 12 days in the last month. Somehow my bf got to know and he got very angry plus sad. I lost him. I lost a person who loved me like anything. I understand we had problems sometimes( actually most of the times) but I want him back. I can’t think of living without him. He is the most precious person of my life. I m just nothing without him. What should I do. I m so helpless. Please suggest me something.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 11, 2020 at 7:06 pm
Hey Khushboo, so I suggest reading some articles on this website about how to be Ungettable, and how to get an ex back when you are long distance. As you cheated you need to gain your exes trust back which is going to be difficult if you are not patient, honest and staying away from other men. You cheated because you wanted physical intimacy, is there going to be a chance of getting your ex and you living in the same country one day?
Queen jenny
January 8, 2020 at 10:03 am
Hi chris I cheated on my boyfriend 3 good times. He’s very angry with me but am surprised he haven’t blocked me on social media as usual. I love him so much what should I do to get him back?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 8, 2020 at 5:03 pm
Hey there, so first I suggest asking yourself why you cheated on him three times. As for getting him back, you need to earn his trust again which is going to be work and patience on your side of things.
Precious
January 4, 2020 at 1:00 pm
Thanks for all you wrote,because i believe it’s going to help
I cheated on my boyfriend and I mistakenly told him bout it, so when he asked me I lied to him and he demanded for the man’s number then I have him so later he got all the fact from the man and I broke his trust.so weve been trying to resolve the issue all because I did not have sex with the man
But it’s just so so hard for him to forget
So I followed what you said by telling him we need a space in which he concured but I’m scared cos ion think I can do anything without him in the sense that I can’t afford to lose him
Please help on how to get my relationship back
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 4, 2020 at 9:21 pm
Hey P so it is about giving your ex that time away from you and reaching out at the end of no contact, understanding that you are not going to go straight back to being good, you are going to have to work on rebuilding trust with your ex
Adelani precious ifeoluwa
December 27, 2019 at 8:27 am
Hi I love this your article and it cut my attention in sense that I cheated on my boyfriend he got to know and he asked me but I lied the first time now that I now told him the truth he broke up with me and have been begging for us to come back but it not working at all it just like it getting worse everyday pls what can I do to get him back I truly love him and I need him back so badly so should I continue begging because I sent some of his close friends to him to beg on my behalf but they said he said he dose not want me anymore am now confused should I continue to beg till he agree or I should stop talking to him for 30days like you said pls what should I do need some advice before it too late
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 28, 2019 at 12:33 am
Hey no you need to go into a No Contact, apologise and acknowledge what you did to your ex by cheating and go into a 30 days no contact!
Virtue
December 23, 2019 at 7:50 am
me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and four months, okay first, he cheated on me, in the 7th month of our relationship, I realized he was dating another girl for about four to five months although he told me they never had sex or kissed but it still hurt me terribly cuz I felt he was deeply in love with her, I confronted him and he promised to cut down everything gradually, as time went by it didn’t look As if he was cutting of anything, I felt they were even getting closer so I decided to take my mind off him, I had this male friend whom I finally had sex with just once because I was a depressed because of what my boyfriend did, finally he came back and started showing me all the love, then I decided to confess to him and tell him what I did, and I also told him he caused it, he was so hurt, he cried and broke up with me. though after few days of begging, he accepted me back but he doesn’t even talk to me, he ignores my texts but at least he picks my calls…we have come a very long way together, I love him and I don’t want to loose him, and I believe he loves me too, so what do I do to gain his love and trust back?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 23, 2019 at 3:06 pm
Hey Virtue, I’m sorry but I think you need to be told, this is not how someone should be treating you in a relationship and it seems that he does not even want to be in the relationship all you are doing is hurting yourself! Read about the no contact and how to implement it. Be strong and stick with it! Learn how to show yourself love and respect you deserve because no one should be treated the way this guy is treating you!