How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated On Him- Advice & Help

1,989 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”

miku

October 21, 2013 at 9:24 pm

so i’m in high school and I have been dating my boyfriend lets call him Ed for about a year and ten months now I lost my virginity to him about 2 months into our relationship and I think I cheated on him some time in October of last year that’s about eight months after I lost it to him now around the time of the cheating I was young 16 and very very horny every time I asked Ed to have sex or try to get him into the mood he would tell me he was not horny or he would just let me give him head or at the very most sex for a very short amount of time and nothing else then I met his best friend I really cant remember who started flirting but one thing led to another and the next thing I know he is asking if I want to have sex kind of pressuring me so I start going along with it because i’m new to this whole sex thing so we make a plan to have him come over and we do the deed now for some reason I cant remember anything about it now time has passed and Ed gets a job so we are now only seeing each other about once a week and when we do he still dose not want sex so I started flirting with this other guy nothing happened just on line flirting and Ed finds it and has a melt down for a few hours but then tells me not to worry and that he loves me more then ever for not trying to lie about it when he found out but when he found out for some reason the memory came back that I cheated I think my brain treated it as a traumatic experience because I had truly forgot about it happening now that I remember it is killing me I really hate my self I get sick when I think about it and I cant sleep any advise I really wanna tell him but how first should I and second how any added advise would help to thank you also sorry for no punctuation :/

admin

October 22, 2013 at 2:35 am

Is his name really Ed?

Hahaha.

Alrighty, let see here. You are still young so take a deep breath and realize that the world won’t end if something doesn’t go right.

Secondly, I would actually try a NC rule!

palavi

October 20, 2013 at 7:41 pm

Wel, i agree to what u mentioned bt my ex has major attitude prob, i had spoken to him a couple of days bak and he abused me and warned me nt to cal him nr force hm to get bak to me! He has unfriended me frmw fb and blockd me on whatsapp! I realy dont noe how do i makue hm realize…hes dam fukn stuborn what do i do.he clearly tld me dnt force me to get bakk

admin

October 20, 2013 at 9:18 pm

Well STOP ENGAGING him hahaha. Go into NC for a long time and stay in it.
palavi

October 21, 2013 at 2:01 pm

;( wel i want him bak ! I dnt noe hw do i xactly do ..i just feel dam guilty pls sugguest what do i do
admin

October 22, 2013 at 1:55 am

NC!

Ewelina

October 18, 2013 at 8:02 pm

Hi Chris,
I am a huge fan of your site. I love how engaged you are with your readers and how you always give them best advice you can think of.

Please help me out with my situation. I met a guy and we were together for 6 months. We fall in love with each other and it was amazing.
We started seeing each other almost every single day, until one Monday he said let’s wait till the weekend to see each other. To me it was a little weird why all of the sudden he didn’t want to see me for 4 days. Yes, I know how ridicules that sounds now, but back then trust me I was worrying something was off.
We talked for those 4 days via text as we usually do, and we saw each other on Friday and everything was great, well maybe even better then great.

Then Sunday came and he was celebrating his bday with his dad and his step mom, while next weekend I was invited to his big bday celebration with his mom and the rest of the family (his parents are divorced).
That Sunday I felt a little left out and lonely because he didn’t pay attention to me and since I am foreigner (that will also explain my poor grammar) I don’t have any family here and limited amount of friends.
I decided to go drive to my ex boyfriend’s house and talk to him about my problems.
It got late and I stayed the night. Nothing happened between us. No sex, no kissing, none of that. We are just friends.
The next morning I called my boyfriend at the time and I told him that I stayed the night at my ex boyfriend house and why I did it, and that I felt alone and lonely and just needed someones company and someone to talk to.

He took this as a cheating and we were over. He believes that what I did is going behind his back and he takes it as a cheating even though there was no sex.

We were over and he told me how much I broke his heart and all that. I wanted to come clean and I didn’t want to have any secrets between us, thats why I said it that I spent the night at my ex’s place. If I didn’t say anything we would still be together.

Since then we have been in everyday contact. We go out together, we talk to each other, and yes we have sex. Everything would be great except he tells me he can’t get serious with me because he doesn’t trust me. He also said he won’t be seeing any women, but he can’t get serious with me for at least 3 months…
Well I don’t like this arrangement. I want us to be serious. I honestly think he takes me for granted now because I go way beyond to try to make him happy and I told him like a million times how sorry I am and how much I regret it and all.
He tells me he loves me to death and cares deeply for me, and if I need any help with anything I can always text him or call him, but he just can’t get serious with me because he doesn’t trust me.

He invited me to go to the movies, but something has got into me and I said to him if he doesn’t want to get serious again then I am committing to someone that does and that I am going to date someone now.
We said ok go commit to this guy, and he was keep telling me this over and over and then he said ok so now I will look for someone to date as well. I guess he got jealous, but I honestly wanted him to make a decision, but all he was saying he can’t trust me now. He said maybe space is all we need if there is a future for us, but if I need anything or I just want to talk to him I am always welcome to text him or call, and that he will always be there for me in a heartbeat.

I stopped responding and decided on NC routine. It’s ben 2 days, and yes it’s hard. But now I am wondering if I should text him saying I’m sorry about our last conversation, I want you to know I am not dating anyone and then start NC again, or what should I just keep continue with NC?

I know he feels for me, and cares a lot. He keeps telling me that, and his actions show that as well, but I want more. I want him to commit to me, I want us to be like we were before.
Please help!

admin

October 19, 2013 at 7:43 pm

Wow, thanks for the kind words that makes me feel so good.

NC is extremely hard but I am pleased you decided to embark on it. At this point I say don’t break NC to tell him that stuff you can explain it to him when he is calmer after NC is over.
Ewelina

October 21, 2013 at 12:48 am

Thank you for reply!

I am going strong with NC, he keeps calling me, and texting so its not that easy especially since in his last text he wrote “Watch/listen to the Fray song called “Heartless”. Listen to the whole song”…yeah making me feel guilty much?
admin

October 22, 2013 at 1:12 am

Going strong with NC OH YAA!

Kind of cool to get the attention though isn’t it?
Ewelina

October 22, 2013 at 2:46 am

Of course is nice, but calling me heartless is such an insult! I was so close to answering him what I think of that comment, but no way, I am continuing with NC.
admin

October 22, 2013 at 10:33 pm

Sweet! Way to stay strong.

Kristin

October 18, 2013 at 5:21 pm

I NEED HELP!!…I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) for over 3 years FAITHFULLY!! During the past year, I have had a lot of family issues (parents divorce) and other things that have made me stressed and depressed. It has caused problems with my relationship. My boyfriend began being distant from me and acting like every time I was upset about my family problems, it had to do with our relationship when it didnt! We’ve been arguing almost eveyday about little things and I felt as though he was getting over me. I found a friend who listened to me and made me feel good about myself. He showed me the attention I needed. We’ll about 2 weeks ago, when my boyfriend was out of town, I went to a bar to hang out with some friends and the guy who had been showing interest in me asked me for a ride home. On the way to take him home, we decided to stop by my place and have a beer and hang out. One thing led to another, he came onto me and I let it happen!! My boyfriend happened to come home early and walked in on me and this guy having sex!! wow!! Just like some thing you see on TV on wish it never happens to you! He said its hard for him to forgive me because he actually seen it and cant get the image out his head. I feel so bad! i love my boyfriend and realize I made a mistake. I want him back! I don’t know what to do??!

admin

October 19, 2013 at 7:32 pm

Whoa…. That was a bad mistake on your part. I am going to be straight up with you your chances are severely damaged.

At this point I would implement the NC rule and give your ex some time to come back down from seeing all RED.

Sydney

October 17, 2013 at 8:18 pm

I cheated on my boyfriend of 5 years while I was away at school a couple times, and when I stop and think about it I know it was because I was lonely. We broke up once in the 5 years for about 4 months and got back together but the distance was really hard for me so we split again. We still live apart and I don’t know if I could make it work, there is always temptation. I hate being away from him and I just heard he is going out with another girl and I broke down. I never thought of him with someone else and it is tearing me apart inside.. I’m not sure what to do. Would I ever be able to convince him to give us another chance?

admin

October 18, 2013 at 6:10 pm

How bad was the cheating? Are we just talking a kiss here or more?

At this point I would try NC.

Angie

October 16, 2013 at 5:58 am

So I’m desperate over here. I did a horrible thing and cheated on my ex of four years…twice. we werent technically together both times but still talked. the first time he forgave me. then I did it again but this time had sex with of his close friends. I feel horrible everyday. he didnt find out until multiple months after. its been 6 months since. He forgave me and he had sex with me. but now he says he’s talking to another girl. it’s like he wanted to hurt me like I hurt him. but I dont want to give up on him. he says he loves me somuch still but can’t be with me. PLEASE HElP

admin

October 17, 2013 at 2:02 am

So, are you two broken up?
Angie

October 17, 2013 at 5:00 am

Yes. he keeps implying she’s just a rebound but he’s still going to see her.
admin

October 17, 2013 at 6:23 pm

Well, look at a persons actions more than their words. What do his actions say?
Angie

October 17, 2013 at 8:03 pm

Well this is where I am confused. he can spend the whole weekend with me and everything be normal, then when I leave his house he never talks to me. so I ask him what we are, and constantly he says “we’re friends, sorry I led you on.” then hangs out with this other girl and goes to have sex with her.
ok so I get it, his words are controversial to his actions, but I know he’s doing those actions because hes “trying to get over me”
admin

October 18, 2013 at 6:08 pm

Hes a jerk!

But a part of him still clearly likes you but he doubts himself when he is own his own away from you.

Tayo

October 15, 2013 at 3:20 am

Hey,I cheated on my fiance about 2 months ago while he is deployed in Afghanistan. It was so stupid and a mistake,I just felt lonely at the time. I have started seeing a counselor to understand my decisions and make better ones.I told him about it but didn’t tell him the whole truth because I was scared, he kept asking if there was more and I said no. So I eventually gave in and told him everything about the hookup(not sex), but because I lied about it initially he is extremely hurt. For the past two months he was so angry and upset. He recently broke up with me, but calls me every other day to see if I’m okay and still tells me he loves/misses me. He just can’t be with me especially while he’s oversees. He keeps telling me he’s trying to get to a place where he is fine with being by himself and tells me maybe we’re not meant to be & there’s billions of people in the world. He wants to spend time together and still have sex when he returns (but is not pressuring me). I’m so devastated by this incident I’ve lost over 15lbs in a month. I told him I can’t talk to him until he comes back bc it hurts too much. Was that a mistake or should I stick to not talking to him for 8 months. He comes in June and I want him back. Is there any hope? What should I do?

admin

October 16, 2013 at 1:43 am

I am assuming that this is not a “healthy” weight loss.

Well, I would actually do a 30 day NC period if I was you. and you might want to check out the LDR post.
Tayo

October 16, 2013 at 4:13 am

Thanks! How do I implement the advice in the LDR post if our form of communication is phone, email, and skype. He has no cell phone to text, should I wait to start texting in June?
admin

October 17, 2013 at 1:47 am

Do you have facebook?
Tayo

October 17, 2013 at 1:59 am

No:( I deleted it a while ago, should I make a new one?
admin

October 17, 2013 at 5:57 pm

Why did you delete it?

patricia

October 15, 2013 at 3:06 am

So how do i react seeing him in person ?because his coming to see the baby. this weekend.

admin

October 16, 2013 at 1:38 am

Three words.

Confidence, Confidence, Confidence.

I cannot stress how important it is you appear confident (fake it if you have to.) Be pleasant and very very calm and soothing almost.

rosa

October 14, 2013 at 9:59 pm

Ivwas talking to my Arab boyfriend (ex) and he is the sweetest guy ever full of love and very old school he asked me out last Wednesday and the day after he came over and my co worker texted me saying goodnight babe and he saw all the messages with my coworker he would constantly send me kisses and call me “babe” for everything but he has a girlfriend.and so did I but and now my bf thinks. Cheating. I called him to explain everything but he said ge doesnt believe in second chances but he knows I wasmt cheating at all because im not thatvtype of person and he told me he loved me that same day he broke up with me. He said he wish he could give me another chamce but that its hard because why would I talk to my coworker that way if I already had him to talk to thatvway. HELP PLEASE.

rosa

October 15, 2013 at 3:03 am

He said he was raised in a way that if you will do something, to get it done right the first time, if not then dont try at all. Also, he said if i truly loved him that I wouldnt have talked to my coworker the way I did. I am also confused about this whole situation because I dont consider what i did cheatong
admin

October 16, 2013 at 1:39 am

Well, if he has that type of thinking he will not get very far in life. I don’t think he will have many successful relationships in the future if he keeps that way of thinking.

You are in the right here and he is in the wrong. Gosh, why do you want him back again? He seems like a total goofball.
rosa

October 15, 2013 at 3:15 am

He also said his goodbye. Should I take that as a serious goodbye? Like not even try anymore vecause I made it clear that I know I made my mistake and that ibwill fix it no matter how stupid I look because I want to make him happy forever
admin

October 16, 2013 at 1:40 am

Here is how you should take it: “I will make him eat those words. I will make him regeret it.”
admin

October 15, 2013 at 2:38 am

I am a bit confused. What was his reasoning for not giving you a second chance?

patricia

October 14, 2013 at 2:13 pm

I have looked over on how to get over your ex and i can’t get it right because there is a baby as well.N i also have looked over on the legitimate reason being to getting your ex back and there are legit reasons but he said they all in the past.On top of that i have to come face to facewith him this coming weekend.
patricia

October 14, 2013 at 1:42 pm

I broke the. NC rule today,called my ex wished him a happy b day and then i ask him if he still doesn’t want the relationship and i know i was wrong to ask this kind of question but the reason being that his new (3 months in a relationship)girlfriend threw him a party over the weekend n called his family n friends to suprise him.It actually broke my heart and that’s when i ask if there still love for us and he said that right now his life is perfect n he doesn’t want to confuse it by including me in the picture.He said he has moved on n i shud do the same.So i said ok n then he brought the picture baby issue n we started arguing.I really love dis guy n his also. aware of it.So he said that its actually too late.I find it very hard to keep my mind off him because my baby still young n i can’t go out yet.So i. don’
t know what to do

admin

October 15, 2013 at 2:09 am

Yea a happy birthday (do you want to get back with me) is kind of the utlimate NO NO.

I sympathize with you though since your child is involved. Just go back into NC.

Esha

October 13, 2013 at 11:08 am

There was this mutual friend of ours who liked me alot and wanted to get with me so as soon as he brokeup with his girl hd asked me out telling me stuff about my ex which made me really angry adding to that i felt as if my guy wasn’t giving me quality time or attention. Therefore, i broke up with him and got with this other guy. I realized the next day that i’d done wrong to him so i apologized to him and went back to my ex and after a day’s time i confessed of what i did during the breakup time. He was very shocked but after 2-3 days we started with our relationship again. A month had passed by and things weren’t getting any better he seemed so uninterested and distant and one day he finally brokeup with me. I for 4-5 days texted and called him to patch up but he never responded and after 15 days of our breakup i gave up in hope that he might come back and i went back to the guy i left for him and he still wanted me back therefore we decided to keep it confidential this time so we could breakup and move on without any hesitation if things weren’t working out. And the exact same day my new guy had a fight with a friend of mine in which i had to take sides i chose to standby my guy,so i did. Which offended my friend to the extent that he went to my ex and told him everything. My ex got pissed for two reasons firstly because i ended up with the guy i told him i’d never be with again and secondly because he was certain that he was again filling me up of how bad my ex is for me to be completely over him. We had huge fight on the phone. I infront of my current boyfriend confessed to my ex that i love him more. He went like shutup. I than got to know that guy i trusted had been lying to me about my ex and that friend
of mine by telling my ex that i got back with him protected me from him. I for the hundreth time apologized to my ex this time with complete sincerity. He went like its ok. I asked him to re-consider things and that pissed him off. After that i waited a week and than returned him the money he spent on my on our date because he wasn’t talking to me. And the week later i called him up to clear things up with him that i left him first and than went with that loser and when he broke up with i thought i should move on with him otherwise i never had strong feelings for him or whatsoever and that i had cut him off my life now. Having said all that my ex suggested me”Don’t go. Let’s just stat friends” i on the other hand didn’t want to be friend zoned therefore refused his offer. After that, i texted him a few days later that i was confused of wanting to talk to him or not. He was firm on his point that he wasn’t aware of my breakup text and that i wronged him. He than taunted me about that guy i left him for. I gave up trying to convince him that i never cheated upon him. Hence i ended the conversation. Now a few days aback i was discussing the scenario with my neighbor and she purposed to me that i should confess my feelings to my ex and tell him that i can’t live without him anymore which i did and trust me that guy is really good at hiding his emotions when he wants to so i have no hint or whatsoever of wether he still feels the same for me or not. All he said was i’m happy being single at the moment. We’ve talked on text for 3 days consecutively and than it hit me that by contacting him again and
again i was loosing my selfrespect and value so therefore i stopped and a
day later he texted me asking of how i was to which i gave a late reply consisting of brief cold words. He got a bit irritated by that and than after another text i waited 2hours before replying and to his last text i never replied . Now my question to you is that do i stand a chance to win him back or there’s no hope?

admin

October 13, 2013 at 10:39 pm

Seems to me you haven’t done the NC rule?

Sinead

October 12, 2013 at 11:05 am

Me and My ex had been almost 1 year when he found out I cheated 10 months ago! I really miss him we’ve been over 3 weeks and have been texting he says he wants me as in in his arms but he doesn’t want ME if your get that. He means the world to me, I cry myself to sleep every night. We are like friends sometimes and then he just starts calling me stuff 10 mins later. He told me he misses me and every morning we see each other and kinda talk. I don’t want to do the NC because im afraid we’ll loose what connection we have. He’s been talking to another girl and its killing me! How do I show him I can be trusted and I love him more than anything?

admin

October 13, 2013 at 8:34 pm

Yea, I understand you are afraid but you really really need to do NC.

kate

October 12, 2013 at 4:46 am

Okay, ive been dating him for a year now and six months ago I cheated on him with my ex. He found out and long story short we ended up getting back together after a few days. Now yesterday morning he broke up with me because of fight. And lastnight I got really drunk and then his bestfriend kissed me. But my ex is belieing the I came on to his friend not the other way around. My ex told me that if ut didnt happen we would have gotten back together. What do I do?

admin

October 13, 2013 at 8:26 pm

Before anything call him up in a very very very calm manner and explain that the friend came on to you and YOU were wrong and sorry. THEN go into NC.

Dee

October 11, 2013 at 10:16 pm

I’ve been with my boyfriend (my first love, first crush, first kiss, etc.) for a little under 3 years. During the last few months of our relationship, I hadn’t felt the same. Eventually we took a “break” and a few weeks after, I started texting/flirting with my co-worker. Where I messed up was still treating my boyfriend like we were together..just not as frequently. So the other day, I was at his house and I fell asleep. He looked through my phone, saw the texts, and FLIPPED..OUT. He politely walked me to my car, took my key to his house from me, and hugged me goodbye. What SUCKS is that I don’t want to even BE WITH my co-worker but of course that’s not what my boyfriend believes. Initially I panicked and called him repeatedly the same night and the next morning with no response. He called me 2 days later to hear what I had to say for myself & I apologized for hurting him and BEGGED him to talk to me about it, but he refused. He expressed that he’s upset, feels stupid, and doesn’t know what he wants to happen next. He also expressed that he still loves me but if I’d said my piece, he wanted to get off the phone and doesn’t know when he’ll communicate with me again. It’s been 4 days now and today I wrote him short letter saying that I hope we can heal & eventually have a mature conversation about everything. I don’t expect a response. Would now be a good time to put the NC rule into effect? Also..I’d won us tickets to a concert for Nov. 7. What do you suggest there?

admin

October 13, 2013 at 8:16 pm

Yes now would be ideal for NC haha.
Dee

October 14, 2013 at 3:50 am

but what about the TICKETS?!.lol.
admin

October 15, 2013 at 1:49 am

Ill take em!
Dee

October 15, 2013 at 2:17 am

UGHHHHHH!! I’m serious!! lol.
admin

October 16, 2013 at 1:30 am

I am sorry I couldn’t resist. I just answer so seriously all the time that every once in a while I need to have fun.

Well, go with him to the concert. NOV is still a ways off.

Shannon

October 11, 2013 at 11:32 am

Hi so I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I cheated on him last year. He found out 8 months ago but we have been on and off since. We got into argument last night and he told me that he doesn’t love me the same anymore and he wants to be single. He cant get over what i did. I asked him if he ever could be with me again and he said I don’t know and then changed his answer to never. The morning of he told me he loved and suddenly after this fight he decides to leave again. I am thinking of doing the NC rule but do you think I have a fighting chance? That he does still love me and come back? I don’t know what to think because I feel like I’m getting missed signals. I feel like he does still love me deep down inside but he just resents me. Do you think the NC rule will work and I can get him back?

admin

October 11, 2013 at 6:29 pm

I think it defintely can. I think the question is “can you complete the NC rule without any hiccups.”

Lisa

October 11, 2013 at 11:17 am

I’ve hurt my ex very much. I wanted to know if your able to give me an idea or ideas of what to do. As much as I try to think what do to make him feel better and show him that it wont happen again,it’s like my mind can’t think. He told me that mentally he moved on, but he also still wants to try to figure out a way to work things out. My mind goes blank when I try to think of ideas or ways to do that, because I feel like I don’t know how.please help

admin

October 11, 2013 at 6:28 pm

Well, maybe you should meet up with him and talk.

patricia

October 10, 2013 at 6:42 am

But how do i move on from someone whom i still love and knowing that i have to see him every month end when he comes to see the baby?I am so confused .

admin

October 10, 2013 at 6:19 pm

If you really want to move on from him I suggest this: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-over-your-ex-boyfriend/

grace

October 9, 2013 at 10:54 pm

I’ve been seeing this guy for almost two years we weren’t ever officially together though. He’s a busy man. He’s a cop and also 13 years older. He asked me not to see anyone else and if i started to to tell him and he wouldn’t be upset. I hadn’t seen anyone except my ex and he understood and wasn’t mad. Recently i met someone and hooked up with him once and that guy told my guy. He ended things with me but i still want him in my life. Its not like actually cheated. The thjng is he doesn’t want to see me but he texts me almost every two days just to say how upset and dissapointed he is or mean things. Is that a step to him missing me? I won’t text him first and I’ve been giving him his space. If he really was disgusted and angry as he says why is he texting me?

admin

October 10, 2013 at 2:01 am

It means he is kind of a jerk but it also means YOU are on his mind and that is not a bad thing.

cara

October 9, 2013 at 10:51 pm

my story is very long and complicated. I met this guy and we dated for a month. then he told me he cheated on me and broke up with me. I was so heart broken and never got over him. three months later we got back together for about three weeks and then he broke up with me again. About a month later i met a new boy and we started dating. Then my ex was sending me suicidal threats and making me feel guilty for being in a new relationship. So i started talking to my ex and was still with my boyfriend. I had feelings for my boyfriend but something about my ex made me talk to him. All i did was talk to my ex for three months and then my boyfriend found out. We broke up and then that night i made out with my ex. But then three days later my boyfriend and i got back together. I told him about a month later that i made out with my ex the night we broke up and so he broke up with me and got into a fight with my ex. Him and i broke up for good and i went back to my ex (the very first guy). that was short lived, it was only a month and i broke up with him and cut off all contact. Three days after i broke up with him i got back with the second guy and we have been dating for three months strong without a problem until last week. He broke up with me last week cause he cant get over me cheating on him. i have been so loyal and doing everything right these past three months and it hurts that he dumped me. Our 8 months is in three days but we are broken up and it hurts so much i cant get over it. how do i get him back.

admin

October 10, 2013 at 2:00 am

Well, best thing you can do is to implement the NC rule like this pages suggests.

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1,989 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”