How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated On Him- Advice & Help

1,990 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”

Charlie

September 6, 2018 at 10:04 am

Hey Chris,

I admitted to my boyfriend about a week ago that I had been with someone else, we weren’t technically together but had been on a break because I didn’t feel like myself lately and wanted time to get back to me. That being said we were still hanging out and didn’t cut ties during this break and the person I had been with is someone he hated as he has tried to make moves on me in the past and I did not listen when I was told his intentions were no good. We spoke on the phone last night and he said that he sees himself forgiving me he just needs time and space and does not think I am being in a relationship right now because I need to work on myself, he said he wants to do the break the proper way this time and fully take space but still tries to see himself with me just had to find a way to accept what I have done.

Do you have any advice as to what I should do now? Are these good signs that he is saying? I have a fear of the unknown but as much as I try to think positively from what he said my mind wanders and always thinks negatively during this time.

Thanks for your help.

Chris Seiter

September 7, 2018 at 4:02 am

Hi Charlie….love your name! Definitely give him time and space and tell him you are doing the same to focus on being the best “you” and work through some of the issues that plague you. Get up to speed on my program. Go to my home page as its full of resources of how you can do that! All of my books deal with recovery actions, so that will benefit you as well.

PALLAVI VERMA

August 27, 2018 at 7:26 pm

I cheated on my bf and one of my friend told him everything. He broke up with me. I love him and I want him back. I know he also loves me and he also tried to continue with our relationship and forget everything but he was not able to forget the incident. So he got cold hearted again but I want him back. I feel soo low because of my deeds. I betrayed him.
We are now in a long distance relationship. Plzzz help me. I love him and he also loves me. But problem is that he is not able to forget.

Chris Seiter

August 28, 2018 at 9:48 pm

Hi Pallavi!

I know you feel bad and wish you could take it all back, but it happened and its in the past and so long as you take lessons from it, then there is positive to gain from the experience. Cheating is not uncommon and it doesn’t mean you have no chance. Its best to get up to speed on how you can improve your chances and that is what my program is about.

Ruth

August 24, 2018 at 9:26 am

Dear Chris,
I wanted to ask, when to know when I should stop fighting for my ex and let them come back to me, if they want to?
One year ago, I confessed with a broken heart to him, that I cheated on him. I was honest because I knew if I ever want a chance to be in a relationnship with him I have to be honest, even though it will hurt him so bad.
Since then we had weeks of no contact and then I would message him, that I miss him, he would say it too, we would meet up, got close and right after or a couple of days later, he got cold again, shut down and eventually broke it off again. This exact cycle happend 4 times!!! The last one was 3,5 months ago, him saying he “needs to be sure to commit to a relationship and he is not currently.” And he doesn’t think he “can build up love again” even though he still likes me a lot. I said I respect and accept that and that I can’t be friends with him. He replied: “Yes, it will be better that way. at least for the time being. Otherwise I could not turn that off forever.”
What does this mean????
Since then I respected his decision, I stayed in no contact. I have grown so much, I learned so much, I reflected so much and have realised so much why this all could happen and what went wrong with me to do such an awful thing. I so wish I would get another chance!! I know I am in such a good place and I am proud of myself becoming this person now. Not proud of what happened, but can’t change the past.
Is there anything I can do? If I could just know, if he wants me to fight and to hear from me, I would!!!! But I want to respect his decision.

Chris Seiter

August 25, 2018 at 12:10 am

Hi Ruth!

I am thrilled you are learning more about yourself and are growing with life experiences. I am proud of you too. And don;t be too hard on yourself for any mistakes you think you may have made in the past. Look…everybody screws up. Its learning and improving and finding fulfillment when it all over…that is what is important in the final analysis.

Just keep carving you on path. If he wants back in your life, he knows where to find you and you need not wait on him to move forward. Lots of paths in life.

Jerry Morgan

August 16, 2018 at 5:37 pm

So your solution is to learn how to manipulate your boyfreind worse than you already did. Go to hell.

Chris Seiter

August 17, 2018 at 2:13 pm

Hi Jerry!

Sorry you feel this way. But I wish you my best.

sweta

August 16, 2018 at 6:50 am

yup i cheated N now want him back.
cant explain the pain i m having. Convening him each day thinking of him each second. Because of the distance some other girl came in his life,she proposed but my man didnt said yes. the other guy with whom i was with is a big bustard. when i rejected him for my ex.hex.he called my ex n told all happed between us in a very disgusting way no one can even listen. How i make out with him. How i touched, how he feel about the sex talk with me. why i m not deserving to my ex. He also suggested him to use me every weekend and dont marry me. If he wll get chance he wll do the same. Also lied that i tried to put hand in his pants. Tht guy was unknown whom i met 1 day exchange number n next day in garden i was in his arms. And we talked 5 days straight continue on call when my bf told me to stop i did stop. But sex talk n being in his arms n all non scene tht guy talk about me hurted my ex more. He think i wll repeat it in future which is not good for his image. I love him madly.

Chris Seiter

August 17, 2018 at 2:25 pm

Hi Sweta….have you picked up my ebook, Pro? I think you will benefit from having an ex recovery plan.

Jan

August 2, 2018 at 9:37 am

My boyfriend and I were on a 2 week break, he instigated it. Over several months before the break, he was very distant, which he had kept telling me was due to the issues with his son, but I never really took that on board and always thought it was me (he knows that I have insecurities around abandonment, which I am working on with a Counsellor. My Dad had no interest in me at all and the other 2 long term relationships I had, they both cheated on me for real). So when he instigated the break, I took it as a break up, for the reasons above and others too, and because I was so devastated I went online and started chatting with a guy to make me feel better about myself because as far as I was concerned I’d been abandoned again (we didn’t meet and obviously there was no sex) and my boyfriend found out and now he said that I’ve cheated and he’s not sure if he wants to stay together. He said he was 65% sure that we were going to break up because I just didn’t seem to be able to grasp what was going on with him but now this has added another dimension for him. What I did is very out of character for me (especially as I’ve been cheated on) and he says that he doesn’t know who I am. I just don’t know what to do, as I didn’t consider it to be cheating, as I thought he was 100% going to finish with me after our 2 week break.

Chris Seiter

August 3, 2018 at 12:39 am

Hi Jan!

I am sorry your ex boyfriend reacted in such a negative way, accusing you of cheating and not seeing that you were simply trying to find a way to feel better about yourself and work thru your pain. Maybe he is a bit immature and has not figured out how to be empathetic in order to support your needs. Just give this some time. Use no contact to heal yourself and allow him time to come to appreciate your value. There are active things you can do during NC to achieve both objectives. I have tons of eBooks and resources you will find on my home page. Go take a look!
Chris Seiter

August 3, 2018 at 12:39 am

Hi Jan!

I am sorry your ex boyfriend reacted in such a negative way, accusing you of cheating and not seeing that you were simply trying to find a way to feel better about yourself and work thru your pain. Maybe he is a bit immature and has not figured out how to be empathetic in order to support your needs. Just give this some time. Use no contact to heal yourself and allow him time to come to appreciate your value. There are active things you can do during NC to achieve both objectives. I have tons of eBooks and resources you will find on my home page. Go take a look!

shan

April 20, 2018 at 3:59 am

i cheated on my boyfriend two months ago, we were in a long distance relationship and it would last 4 years, however it has just been one year. after i told him what happen he left me and said he doesn’t see a future for us anymore. i’ve been spending the past two months asking him to come back but he keeps rejecting me. what should i do?

Chris Seiter

April 20, 2018 at 4:16 am

Hi Shan…honestly, the best thing you can do to optimize your chances is to take a look at one of my ebooks that deal with the entire ex Recovery process. The one I would recommend for you would be “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”. It is a Companion Guide that is quite massive in length and walks you through the entire process!

Anon

April 16, 2018 at 2:55 pm

I’m a gay man who has been in a relationship with the same guy for almost a year and a half but last summer I made the mistake of kissing someone else and the guilt is eating me alive.

When I kissed the other guy, I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to be with my significant other forever but now I am completely sure of it and I am doing everything I can to be a better person for myself and for the one I’m with. (We have since gotten engaged) I haven’t brought myself to telling him what I did because the thought of him leaving me is too painful to bear even though I do deserve it and would accept it if it happened.

Though it was kissing and not sex, it does not matter and I know it wouldn’t to him. I know that I violated his trust and worse, he doesn’t even know about it. I love this man so much and I would give anything to take it back but I know I cannot but still I can’t stop destroying myself because of it. I have searched for advice in many places and a lot of people have said to leave it in the past, live with the guilt and never let it happen again but I don’t see how that is fair to him to keep it a secret. IMO, he deserves to know the truth about the person he plans on marrying.

On the other hand, if I do tell him then I clear my conscience but at the expense of his feelings and I’ve already done enough damage just by kissing someone else. Should he know what I did before we get married?

It’s also worth mentioning that I cut off all contact with the person I kissed and I have spent this time identifying what triggers make it easier for me to stray. No longer do I put myself in any situations where I would even have the opportunity to cheat and I don’t accept friend requests from attractive and flirty strangers (This is how I got into my current situation) and even if I found myself in one, I promised myself that I would picture the look of hurt on my fiances face before I actually did something I’d regret. I would be completely transparent if it meant saving what he have. The thought of hearing or seeing him cry is hard enough but knowing that it would be because of something I did would make it even harder to forgive myself. I just don’t know how to live with myself or how I could make him understand that I’m devoted to him without it seeming like a lie because who would believe me after that?

Please help me if you can.

Thank you so much

Chris Seiter

April 18, 2018 at 3:06 am

Hi Anon…Just let the past retreat from your mind. We all make mistakes. But a bigger mistake is dwelling on the past. So move forward. Embrace your relationship that you have now and you don’t need to divulge your the misstep from the past.

Sarah

April 13, 2018 at 9:15 pm

So, my situation is very complicated. I was seeing a guy who I completely fell for, perhaps too soon, for 4 months. I know the timing sounds crazy to feel so strongly about someone, but having had 2 serious and long term relationships in the past, I felt more for this guy than I have for anyone else (we’ll call him F). I let the feelings run away with me but he didn’t want it, or at least not at the pace that I did. We were ‘exclusive’ but I tried to9 have the relationship conversation with him a few times because the whole ‘limbo’ situation made me insecure, and from the responses he gave me, I concluded that he just wanted me for sex. There’s more context to that, there were a lot of things he said and did for me to come to that conclusion.I felt extremely hurt by this (I’m not the kind of girl who sleeps around and I can’t share myself with someone who just wants my body) and I just assumed we were going nowhere. I foolishly and selfishly ended up getting with one of his friends (who we’ll call G) in a screw it all reaction/ try having sex without any emotional connection 🙁 I know that’s a terrible thing to do and I am disgusted with myself, but G just kept showering me in the affection and general interest in me (he was fully aware I was with his friend F for the record) that was missing with F. I pushed him off a few times prior, but after a rather cold conversation with F, who I’m crazy about, I just had a ‘sod it’ moment and ended up getting with G 🙁 I don’t know why I did it, I instantly knew it was a mistake so I told G it was a mistake, and then told F what had happened. G proceeded to threaten me and make my life hell, he told F “things” I’d apparently said about him, which are lies but because I’ve broken F’s trust, he isn’t sure who to believe. G kept giving me ultimatums, bullied me and tormented me whilst trying to completely obliterate the relationship F and I had built up…and he’s kind of achieved that. I hate myself so much for messing up the thing I wanted the most, but at the same time, when I evaluate the situation, I can see why I felt so insecure. I know it’s no excuse, I just want F back but at the same time, do I just walk away? I’ve never reacted like this before, and whilst I feel so strongly about F, I can’t have been that happy to have done something so out of character? I’m trialling the no contact thing, but it’s causing me a lot of pain. I want to know he’s okay, but I can’t shake the self hatred and yearning for things to have turned out differently. What do you think is the best approach?

Chris Seiter

April 14, 2018 at 3:12 am

Hi Sarah…believe me we all make mistakes…plenty of them. Some of them big. Its in the past and you learned from it, so don’t beat yourself up. I think everybody just needs alot of space right now because there is so many emotions flying around. And you would benefit from a comprehensive plan. That is why I wrote some of my ebooks on this subject To help folks with complicated situations and dealing with all the ups and downs of a breakup. If you go to my Website Men/click Products you can take a look at some of these resources and decide if there is a fit there.

Elizabeth

March 15, 2018 at 4:57 pm

My boyfriend and I were dating for about 6 months. Someone told him that they saw me making out with someone, but this didn’t happen. My boyfriend won’t believe me and broke up with me. He hasn’t been very nice throughout the break up. I said while we talked about the situation, “I care about you let’s work this out” and he hasn’t really mentioned any feelings or care about the relationship. We haven’t talked in almost a week since we broke up. I feel as though he doesn’t truly care about me if he doesn’t trust and believe me about this situation. What do you think? Is it even worth wanting the relationship back? Does he even care about me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2018 at 5:56 pm

Hi Elizabeth,

Check this one:
How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Thinks You Cheated But You Didn’t

Angel

March 8, 2018 at 5:31 am

Hi, a yr ago when my ex and I were together I went for a bite with an ex flame and he kissed me and I havent spoken to him since and nevwr told my boyfriend as he always told me stay away from the dude. About 4 mths later my boyfriend ended our relationship due to going out and not telling him. After 6mnths of being broken up we fixed our underlyig issues and I decided to tell him about the incident.He now wants nothing to do with me as he sees that I basically cheated and also I went to the movies with a guy (friend) and lied about it cause ik he would have been vex then told him about it. So he sees me as a cheater and lier. He finds I should have been like him I stayed to mtself during the 6mnths. What do I do to earn his trust and get him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 11, 2018 at 9:30 am

Hi Angel

Follow the advice above and check this one:
This Is How To Make Him Trust You Again

kellie

March 6, 2018 at 2:48 am

back in November I cheated on my boyfriend and it was the biggest mistake I ever made. I regret it soo much. In January, my boyfriend and I take a small break since he didnt know my true intentions on the relationship. I told him that I see a future with him and that Im in it for the long run. we ended up getting back together 2 days later and promised that whatever happened in the past, will stay there and we will never look back. Well, just a few days ago, the person I cheated on my boyfriend with ended up blabbing his mouth and told my boyfriend what happened and we broke up. I blocked this person from all social media and have no desire to keep in touch. My boyfriend is truly heart broken and refuses to give me a chance to redeem myself and prove to him that Im not a screw up in life and that if I wasnt serious about working things out, I would have walked away and paid the consequences. He keeps telling me that he doesnt love me anymore but I dont understand how someone can fall out of love that fast. We had a plan together to get married and start a family. Everyone keeps telling me that hes just hurt and saying mean things out of anger. I know I ruined everything and betrayed his trust but if theres anything I can do to get him back, Ill do it. what can I do to get him back?
Adedokun Aderonke

March 4, 2018 at 2:18 pm

Thanks so much for this piece
Adriana

February 25, 2018 at 3:54 pm

I cheated on my boyfriend by talking and sending a nude to another guy. We’ve been in a long distance relationship for a year and we did argue a lot about random things but it always worked out in the end. It’s been a month since he found out about what I’ve done and now he says he tried getting over it but it always pops up into his mind again as of how could I do this. He doubts my love for him now and I don’t know how to show him he means a lot to me. He said he wants me to be a new person and he wants us to be like in the beginning and therefore now wants a 2 week break.
I know he wants me to be a happier person and positive and confident, but when I am he always thinks about me and how could I do that to him and it always sets me back from positivity and confidence. I want to be a happier person for him and for myself but I’m scared that when I am he’ll think about it again and it will ruin everything. I don’t know how to get it off his mind and make him stop having such a bad image of me. He said he doesn’t feel like he loves me anymore even though he said it on the phone out of the blue after not saying it for a month and he said he still cares about me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2018 at 12:34 pm

HI Adriana,

aside from following the advice above, check this one too:
EBR 020- How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated

Ayahh

February 21, 2018 at 5:05 pm

My fiance cheated on me, and i found out over two separate occasions, I thought he stopped after the first instance in October. Later on in January I find that hes been speaking to women our entire relationship sexually. He begged, apologized wanted to fix it. In October when he did what he did I spoke to an old flame for a day or two and didn’t tell him, i thought nothing of it. In January, I did the same thing after finding out. I was just in a lot of hurt, and now he doesn’t want to forgive me for those things because he thinks there is more to it, when there isn’t. Any advice? I am actually remorseful, but his wrong was very traumatic for me. Id appreciate the help.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2018 at 10:32 pm

Hi Aya,

I think it’s time to move on. You don’t trust him and now he’s turning the tables on you

Aya

February 21, 2018 at 5:03 pm

Hi,
My fiance cheated on me, and i found out over two separate occasions, I thought he stopped after the first instance in October. Later on in January I find that hes been speaking to women our entire relationship sexually. He begged, apologized wanted to fix it. In October when he did what he did I spoke to an old flame for a day or two and didn’t tell him, i thought nothing of it. In January, I did the same thing after finding out. I was just in a lot of hurt, and now he doesn’t want to forgive me for those things because he thinks there is more to it, when there isn’t. Any advice? I am actually remorseful, but his wrong was very traumatic for me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2018 at 10:31 pm

Hi Aya,

I think it’s time to move on. You don’t trust him and now he’s turning the tables on you

Shillah

February 21, 2018 at 3:34 pm

Ive learnt alot bt i think my issue is different becoz yes i cheated bt he forgave me tho i feel like he nolonger needs me bt has no option becoz i hve no wea to stay his just keeping around
Selena

February 20, 2018 at 10:02 pm

I am not cheating but he thinks am cheating…. What should i do????

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2018 at 10:52 pm

Hi Selena,

Check this one:
How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Thinks You Cheated But You Didn’t

k

February 20, 2018 at 2:51 pm

i’ve done the things above , no contact, start to hang out(jusr like a couple),cut ties,show him my phone time to time by myself, but he still thinks about the cheating sometimes and get paranoid about everything, im patient and tell him i understand.
because of that he’s confused about us and don’t know what to do, so he treat me like a friend sometimes or a bit distance, should i do no contact again ? or what should i do ?thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2018 at 6:05 pm

Before doing nc again, have you talked to him about your concerns on how he treats you? If yes, what did he say? If he just gave an excuse, restart nc
If he says he’s going to change it, give him a chance to prove it.

Aya

February 15, 2018 at 12:02 pm

No answer for me

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2018 at 10:35 am

Hi Aya,

Sorry, i’m confused..correct me if I’m wrong. You want to go back to your 4 year ex but you’re also in another relationship now?

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1,990 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”