Get Your Ex Back When You Share A Child- Real Life Success Story

156 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Back When You Have A Child With Them”

Kayleigh

November 17, 2019 at 4:06 pm

I was with my ex for around 3 years between 2012-2015. We had a child in 2013, we had one bump in the relationship that we dealt with and recovered from – well or so I thought, I became pregnant with our second child and we broke up soon after his birth due to a string of heavy heated arguments I believe stem back to the broken trust (bump in the road) we ended up in a court battle but shortly after that we actually became close friends again, it was happy and fun and flirty, he took me away for my birthday and took us away as a family. We dated and spent quality time together, apart from living separate I thought we’d become the perfect couple, this was for about 2 years but about 10-12 months ago he distances himself, became hard to get hold off and inattentive and no longer affectionate but I continued to try, I bought him gifts for valentines day and his birthday, I gave him my savings when he was victim to a burglary but turns out in these 10-12 months he’s moved on, I don’t when or why or for how long but I heard whisperings of him dating and I tried making him jealous saying I’d date others but he seemed not bothered and now I found out he’s official with a family friend so it’s highly unlikely a rebound else he’s risking awkwardness if it was a fling or to end etc. Anyway I looked back and figured out i pushed him away, I never made him feel good enough and never returned his love and affection the way he deserved, I feel so heartbroken I made him feel this way but also heartbroken I did it to myself. I tried one last time to ask him on a date but he said it was perhaps inappropriate so I apologised and sent a text for the final time saying I loved him and I was sorry, I wish he hadn’t given up on me or the family but I wish him the best and to only communicate about the children. Have I lost him forever? I’m 7 days into NC and just heard he’s introduced the kids to his new girlfriend, I haven’t reacted (it’s very hard and I’m crying in secret) but I don’t know if I’ve ever got the closure I wanted…. our relationship was almost perfect and had I have let go of my own insecurities and fears I could have made him feel as special as he made me feel, I know I have to work on myself but any help on wether I should hope even a little bit that I can get him back and fix our relationship and our family. He does occasionally make little comments that give me hope but also I could be reading into it.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 23, 2019 at 11:09 am

Hi Kayleigh so you need to keep at your NC for a minimum of 30 days, and work on yourself in that time. You’ve acknowledged your insecurities not it is time to work on yourself so that you know your worth and how to be in a relationship and happily. Read about the being there method while you’re in NC and work on showing your ex how much hes missing out on not being with you

Rebecca

November 13, 2019 at 7:48 pm

I really need some advice right now.

So back when I was around 6 months pregnant my partner left me as he had feelings for his ex. I ended up in a really bad place emotionally. Anyway he came back about 1 month before I was due and we sorted things out. Now for the last 6 months he has ended our relationship around 4 times as he says he isn’t happy anymore and then he comes back. So last week he came in from work and done it again and now this time we are definitely over but for me I just dont know what to do right now. I’m very emotional due to postnatal depression and everytime we see each other we argue. Plus we still share a house. Help please

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 13, 2019 at 10:34 pm

Hi Rebecca, so you need to go speak with someone with your PND and make sure you focus on getting better. There is this thing called Limited NC where you only speak to your ex about the house or baby and if it is important. If not just avoid him in the house as much as possible. Make sure you are showing yourself some love while you are going through this as it is really tough. Focus solely on making you happy so you can happily raise your baby, it is going to be the best thing you do and it will help you get through the dark times too

Ivan

November 11, 2019 at 12:16 pm

My gf and I broke up 3 months into her being pregnant. This is the most devastating thing I have ever been through. She says she fell out of love for me because of arguments we’ve had. I moved out a couple of days ago because she wanted me to.

I didn’t have a father growing up and for my baby I always wanted to have a family where both parents were living together. This breaks my heart because she is set. She has seen me cry and emotionally unstable these past couple of weeks.

I just need some advice.

I love her with all of my heart.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 12, 2019 at 9:00 pm

Hi Ivan, so you need to give her some space, telling her that you are going to be there for the baby no matter what happens. Allowing her to have that mental break from the arguing and the emotional conversations for a little time. even 21 limited NC. Now as much as you want you to be a family because of the baby, a child would be MUCH MUCH happier with two separate parents than two parents under the same roof who are always arguing. To what ever reason you are arguing you need to take a step back and assess this to see if it is a deeper problem or you guys are just not as compatible as you used to be. Suggest couples counselling if you reach a point to speak about a relationship again

Deana

October 22, 2019 at 5:35 am

My husband and I were together 20 years. On 2016 he cheated on me a a girl 10 yrs younger then him. She was also he’s aunt co- worker .
Ever since he cheated on me with he’s aunt co- worker, I stop having a good relationship with he’s family, who knew back then he was cheating . That created fights between us.
In 2018 he left for a month , he said he wanted a break, that he was tired of the daily routine. Making rude remarks that I need it to loose weight, that we were getting old etc. It Seems to me that he want it someone younger then him. On July 13 , 2019 he left again.
For 2 months I beg him to come back home, he was rude and told me it was over not to call him back. The 3rd month I did the no contact for 30 days. After the 30 days no contact he called me, for some lame excuse never asked for our kids. He only called to blame me that he left cause of me, once again I beg him to come back home and he said NO, I asked him to go to counseling and he responded that counseling for him it was a bottle of tequila. My kids and I have not heard back from him in 2 weeks. I honestly believe he’s going through mid life crisis.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 22, 2019 at 6:37 pm

Hi Deana first of all he left because of himself! So do not take the blame for that he had an affair and it caused the relationship break down. If you want him back then you need to create essentially the fear of loss in this man as you are begging for him back eh knows he has you as an option. You need to allow him to feel sorry for himself and work on you becoming a strong woman, work on being the best version of yourself. If you feel that you need to lose weight do so, but do it for you not him. Get your hair done, nails make that small effort to help you feel good about you and DATE go on some casual dates with new men. Doesn’t mean you are moving on from your ex or that you are looking for a new relationship – but it does mean you are moving on with your life in a way that you are not stuck in this sad chapter anymore. If he hears that you are dating and appearing happier without him. He will either sort himself to be with you again or he will be upset that you are not waiting for him. But waiting = he doesnt need to work for you so he wont

nana

October 16, 2019 at 11:07 am

what to do when the father of baby left me to go to another country and tells me we are finished and he wants to go on with his life cause I was the worst thing he has ever met and he does not mind if I text or block him and its ok for him whatever I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 16, 2019 at 3:34 pm

Hi Nana, I would focus on yourself and the baby and wait to see if he comes back to the country there is not much more you can do if he blocked you and moved away. Just attempt to update him regarding the important baby information (baby sexting scan, due date, birth) and if he still ignores you then you know you’ve tried to involve him but definitely work on yourself and be prepared for motherhood (Its the best 😉 )

MJ

September 23, 2019 at 7:08 pm

So I’m in a tough situation. My wife and I have been married for 12 years. We have 2 kids. She told me she is unhappy and wants to divorce. She said I haven’t followed through on promises for too long. On top of it she has been unfaithful and is currently seeing the guy. We are under the same roof. While Our relationship was never perfect it had a lot of good which she refuses to see. I did procrastinate or simply not follow through on promises/my word a lot. It’s something I focused on staying true to my word. I’m truly at a loss as nothing I do gets through to her. She has noticed changes and said I’m checking all the boxes. I want her to try and work on the marriage she refuses and says it is too late. I’ve made a ton of positive changes even before she told me she wanted to divorce. We are still under the same roof and are unable to do anything about it. I’ve been really considering the limited no contact policy. I know she still cares for me as she has little lapses where she looks at me a certain way or touches me a certain way. But most of the time she is cold and convinced she wants out. It doesn’t help she is in a relationship with someone else. I’ve always been loving and supportive of her. I want to to have a good plan moving forward. I also have bought the ex recovery book and have been reading it. Could use some advice moving forward.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 26, 2019 at 9:47 pm

Hi MJ, so I would pop over the the Ex Girlfriend Recovery website and read the articles there and get yourself used to the process, Starting with a LNC I know you’re in the same house and share children it does make it difficult but limit the amount of time you spend with her and talking to her. While she has the other man around, look up the being there method too just so you understand what you need to do after the NC. Meanwhile work on yourself and be the best version of yourself this will show that you are willing to make the changes that would have been needed

AJ

June 18, 2019 at 12:00 pm

My partner of 4 years left 3 months ago. We have a 3 year old together. He tells me he loves me and always will, that seeing me upset upsets him, that he doesn’t want to pretend that he hates me when he sees me… but claims we can’t be together. He thinks people can not change.

I suffered PND for a long time after my daughter was born. We tried for 2 and half years to have baby #2 and because it didn’t happen I sunk deeper into depression. I have only just recently sought help for myself mentally and am feeling a lot better. However I understand that I put a lot of pressure on him as well.

He is very stubborn and said he can not be together… I know we are both not perfect, but we share an incredible bond, he is a great father but I just can’t shake this pain. I love him so much and want my family back…. Please, please give me some insight because my heart breaks day in and day out.
Kel

May 29, 2019 at 5:12 pm

My ex left me & our 2 sons nearly 3 months ago to be with someone else, who has an 18 month old, he moved straight in with her, introduced our boys to her in the first week, so they could tell me, I was devastated for my boys. Anyway he started drinking(hasn’t drank for 10 years), got matching tattoos with her but 2 days ago he messages my private account on YouTube(yes I have a YouTube channel, not famous yet though) he sent a soppy song and messages I was his life and he was sorry, the next day he deleted the messages, left the song and after I asked him if my life with him was a lie he replied it wasn’t a lie and he did love me but time broke it. As you can imagine I’m heartbroken, we’ve been together 11 years and I can’t seem to move on because to be honest I just want him back. I also think he may be going through some mental episode, drink makes him a very angry person and he knows I won’t entertain him when he drinks so do you think he’s staying with this woman to punish me, maybe he thinks I stopped him partying when we were together and she doesn’t care enough to help him. Do you think he will see sense and come back to us?
Unsure

May 21, 2019 at 11:45 am

My husband and I have been together for three years. We got married nearly two years ago and we were planning for kids in the future but I got pregnant 6 weeks after we got married. We had a hard time adjusting to the thought of a pending addition to the family as we both had a lot of financial situations to clear. Which added some pressure to our marriage. Shortly after our daughter was born I had postnatal depression and I was not aware of it till later but I tended to take it out on him. He embarked on two affairs which I found out about when our daughter was about three months old. He blamed me and I took the blame. From there a series of different events and struggles lead to me asking him to leave home. It wasn’t what I wanted but we just weren’t on the same page anymore. Unfortunately I’ve been the worse emotional wreck possible, where he has been cool, calm and collected. Asking him to come home, talking to him, not talking to him. The problem was that I didn’t actually have another vent for any of my feelings either. For the past two weeks following a massive argument I will only text him in regards to our child, arrangements, if she’s unwell and sometimes when we are off he asks for updates on her.
Ultimately I do want my husband to come home but I have no idea what I am doing most days. This is my second marriage and I did not enter into it lightly. I don’t have any additional support and I hate lugging my child back and forth.
I try to not text him outside of any contact he makes with me unless it’s a picture of our child as if I don’t send them he asks anyway. But I’m not sure what I should be doing here.
Bella

May 20, 2019 at 10:49 am

So I just started NC today and this morning he text me good luck as im starting working new job.. do i reply and say thank you or just ignore it.. I have to see him this weekend to drop off our daughter but then go to work.. do i still continue to ignore him if he asks about me or how my new job has been going?

Chris Seiter

May 20, 2019 at 2:49 pm

I think you stick with the NC Bella, though there are exceptions to when you should break it and reach out. I get into all of that in my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”. Every situation is unique and the NC period will be different for each. So give it some more time and if you have not done so already, pick up my Program (EBR Pro Bundle) as it dives into a lot of the details.

Bella

May 12, 2019 at 8:54 am

Hi, so me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 years. We have a 3yr old together and we have been having problems as I dont pay much attention to him anymore as I’m either busy studying or trying to work to get money for bills as I am a student and he is only working part time. We started having problems in December and I tried all i could to make it work but it still wasn’t enough. He just told me recently that he doesnt love me the same anymore but doesnt want us to end on bad terms. I dont want to loose him especially when I’m almost finished my course and can start to relax, but i feel its a little too late. Oh and i should mention he did cheat on me (before we had our child) and i forgave him, but he could never forgive himself, especially since the person he cheated with was my brothers gf who are still together snd have their own children. Any help or suggestions?

Chris Seiter

May 12, 2019 at 3:35 pm

HI Bella….perhaps a brief break from each other may help him realize how much he really values. The power of time and space can have a positive effect on a relationship, particularly if you are doing things to showcase and reinforce your value. Checkout my Program, EBR Pro Bundle, to learn more!

Em

May 5, 2019 at 11:33 pm

Hi Chris, me and my partner were together 2 years, we have a 1 year old son, we broke up 2 months ago after a messy argument, he’s been so cocky with me since, saying things he know will hurt my feelings, telling me off when I don’t message his mum back, I feel lost like I want him to love me, but he’s showing no signs of coming back, I don’t know what to do I just can’t seem to get over him.
Deisy Covarrubiaas

May 3, 2019 at 7:49 am

I’m struggling. I was with my daughters dad since I was 17 (I’m now 23). We started dating and on our 4th year had our baby. When I was pregnant he was constantly going out without me and texting many girls in a flirtatious manner. This went on until my daughter was 2 and a half when I finally decided to leave him. He didn’t even try to stop me. After our break up he continued to try to hang out and hook up as if we would get back together. I held on to my pain and completely shut him out . We stayed broken up for over a year and eventually I met someone amazing and we started to date. He met my daughter and was amazing with her. When my ex found out, he made it so difficult because he wanted to fight my new guy and he would just insult me for “giving up on our family”. Everyone was constantly telling me how much of a mess he was and how he was so heartbroken. One night he poured his heart out to me and when I denied him 2 weeks later he was in a relationship with a girl he met while we were living together. A few weeks passed and we decided to try again . I felt somewhat pressured because being together makes it easier for our daughter, and just the whole family dynamic. But the thing is now I’m struggling to love him. I miss my ex guy that i dated after him so much and I feel like I’m supposed to be with my daughters dad mainly because we share a child together. No matter how much he is telling me all these nice things and wanting me to spend time with him. I have a weird feeling about wanting to avoid him. And I constantly compare my daughters dad to my ex guy I dated after him. I’m so lost and I’m scared to fall back to the cycle with my daughters dad to how he would treat me however he wanted and would constantly emotionally cheat on me. I see he’s trying now but I find it hard to feel the same emotions he says he feels for me..
Survivor

March 20, 2019 at 2:25 pm

Hi, I’m 22,I’ve been togheter with my person for over 5 years, and been living togheter for over 3,we have a child of 2 years and half..
It’s been a month and a half since he decided to go back to his parents house, because he felt like we were staying togheter just for the baby, and we didn’t actually have real conversations.
We hear and see eachother everyday for the baby but even after a month passed it seems like he just doesn’t want to come back.. I’ve tried the limited no contact and I tried to do everything you suggested on this article but I just don’t know how to go on..
He’s a hard head and when he gets a decision he never looks back, what can I do

Chris Seiter

March 21, 2019 at 2:02 am

Then it will be his loss. Sometimes hard headed guys eventually get it and when the don’t, then you always have other paths to explore.

Des.

September 2, 2018 at 4:33 am

So my person and I broke up on the 10th of Aug. I’ve known him since I was 15. I’m now 22 and 7 months pregnant. I really Miss him so much. On the 14 he apologize to me. Then on the 25 he ask if I loved him anymore because it doesnt seem like it when we text. I told him I still love him and miss my bestfriend. He said he miss his best friend too. So then on the 28th I was rereading our messages and on the app we use I pressed one of the suggestion text by mistake and it said “okay baby” at like 3am so at 6 am he text and asked was i talking to someone else and I told him no I’m 7 months pregnant with his Child why would I talk to someone else. So I asked him does he love me anymore he said “I do love you never stop” and we kept texting but he was at work and had to do a round and he will text me later I said “okay Old man” I use too call him that since we started dating. He sent the heart eyes emoji. How happy I was lol. He did text me later saying “I still do love you punk just to let you know but ttyl” but i took a little to reply and he said “I guess you don’t it’s ok punk” but i told him ” I love you too dont think I dont. Then on the 30th we was texting and I told him I seen one of my old friends that was there when we first meet when I was 15 so he ask whos car was I driving I told him my step dads. He was like see you dont need me and ect. But I told him I had to baby sit my little sis and asked why he said that . anyways make a long story short I told him he was Important to me and he said I was important to him too. So need help because I want my boy friend back
Angel

September 1, 2018 at 9:22 pm

So my person & I broke up official broke up on the 10th of August and he really hurt my feelings with some things said. Im 7 months pregnant and he is my bestfriend. I’ve know him since was 15. Like a week ago he ask me did I love him anymore. I told him I love him and Miss my bestfriend. He said misses his best friend too. So i waited he text me again because the message app we use has the suggestion the bottom and i pressed “Okay baby” I wanted to die you know how you reread massage well doing and t sent at 3 am so when he up and seen it and ask was i talking to someone. Anyways a few days I ask him did he still love me he said he never stop loving me so help please

Chris Seiter

September 2, 2018 at 3:48 am

Hi Angel….I am sorry your ex hurt your feelings. I hope the two of you can work thru the issues. It seems you both are talking and hear each other out and come up with a plan to make things right.

Ungettable Girl To Be...

August 31, 2018 at 7:49 pm

My ex is also in a rebound relationship a couple.months now but is always tell in me he loves me and that he’ll never love anyone as much as he loves me.. He said he told the rebound girl that he’s not ready for anything serious bcuz he isn’t fully over our breakup. Yet he’s still there.. I need answers please.

Chris Seiter

September 1, 2018 at 1:07 am

Well….it seems you should be implementing my program as your chances look promising.

Ungettable Girl To Be...

August 31, 2018 at 7:37 pm

Hey Chris, it’s day 13 of Limited Contact with my ex and he’s constantly calling me and messaging me. Our son is 2 years old and he will call me to tell me say hi to my son whilst I’m at work. He also sends alot of pics and vids for me of what they did during their time together. I usually respond with a thumbs up or a smiley face. Am I doing it right?

Chris Seiter

September 1, 2018 at 1:08 am

Yes….I think so. If you keep getting these kind of positive interactions, then end you NC and look to open up communications.

Hopeless

April 4, 2018 at 6:55 pm

Oh, he also said it would be fine if a friend (girl) and I show up at the same place to eat as he does. He eats at the same place I do and sometimes same night different times. It is like he was inviting me but not. He goes with his brother and his wife.

Chris Seiter

April 5, 2018 at 11:28 pm

Hey Hopeless,

Do you mind giving me some context. I lost context here.
Hopeless

April 6, 2018 at 6:18 pm

Please see the other entries by me Hopeless. I have been posting alot for your help. I do not know where his mind is at. Is he just making sure that I am not going to hurt him again and to know that it is safe to come back to me?
Jennifer Seiter

April 7, 2018 at 2:26 am

So, I can’t speak for Chris. Though I know him pretty well as I am married to him and one thing we’ve found pretty consistently is that men have these internal reasons for not wanting to get back together with you.

If you can pin point those reasons it’ll give you a lot of insight into any “weird behaviors.”
Hopeless

April 7, 2018 at 12:54 pm

He said I would cheat again. SO, I know know he is scared still of letting me back in
Jennifer Seiter

April 7, 2018 at 10:30 pm

I’m so glad he gave you that information.

I RARELY recommend this but you should write him an apology letter. In the letter recognize his feelings and be empathetic and truly sorry. Then go straight into a 30 day no contact.

Restart the process after the 30 days. Make sure you read Chris’ guide on what to do if you cheated.

I think you will do great. His emotions show he still cares.

Hopeless

April 4, 2018 at 6:52 pm

We have seen each other a lot lately. Just sex. He has called at least once a day (I let him call or text). My son made a comment to someone as soon as I move out my dad will get back with my mom. Even though I do not mind at all if they do. He said he can not say what he knows. So, I know he talks to him about it. My ex sister inlaw messages me out of the blue and says that it is no big deal if I come this summer to go swim ( He did not want us to talk because we were divorce before).He told her doesn’t matter to him because we aren’t together (I do not know how true that is). She actually told me to show up to eat where they were going to be at. Again, I have not spoken to her about us talking 2 years ago. He is asking alot questions about when we stopped talking. Then he asked several times is he the reason 2 years ago you always said no to me about going to eat or cook. I said no that I was scared(like text you earlier what I said). Then last night when he left he said why did you have to be like other girls? Why did you do it? I told him I can’t say sorry enough and I live with regret everyday because I hurt the ones I loved the most in life. He said, we need to stop because you are getting feelings. He said, I do not have feelings and will hurt you. I love you because you are the mother of my kids but I know me and I will hurt you. I can not love again. So, we do not need to call, text or see each other. I told him you do not know what I am feeling and he refuses to Spears time as in hanging out, go eat or etc… so how can I fall in love. I tell him I do not have feelings because I do not know what to say. I just say I am relaxing and having fun.
He said he likes getting up going when he wants where he wants no one to ask. I said me too! Just because I’m not going out lately doesn’t mean I don’t. I’m low on money But I don’t go to bars so no reason for me to be out late. But I said. Before we hung up just relax and have fun stop thinking! He said I always think. He has looked me in the eyes at least 4 different times and said you are falling in love with me. None of the times AI was looking at him. I was doing things around the house. He was watching me. What can I do? Does he really feel nothing for me no longer? Am I just a booty call? I see so much in his eyes. He tells me I am a good women all the time and how much better I am than most women that just cheat all the time.

Chris Seiter

April 5, 2018 at 11:13 pm

You should really read my article on how to handle sex after a breakup,

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-to-do-if-you-had-sex-with-your-ex/
Hopeless

April 6, 2018 at 12:32 pm

WOW! That helped alot. If you can look at the other comments below and see Hopeless. So, what is he doing or trying to do?
This has been an ongoing thing. Everyday it gets better than he becomes cold. Please, read it all and let me know what you think. I would be forever grateful. I know he is falling for me my gut and his actions show me. But he says different. I still think there is a chance.
Thank you, Hopeless
Chris Seiter

April 7, 2018 at 4:55 am

I’m curious when he “get cold” is it when he isn’t getting sex?
Hopeless

April 7, 2018 at 12:53 pm

At times yes or right afterwards he call Atleast twice day to see how my day went if he is not over here. He usually here every other day.

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156 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Back When You Have A Child With Them”