Get Your Ex Back When You Share A Child- Real Life Success Story

156 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Back When You Have A Child With Them”

Hopeless

March 10, 2018 at 7:12 pm

So, we are still on a good track of him considering coming back to me? He has called every day atleast once and atleast said hey to me. Even when he had a bad day and wasn’t in the best of mood. He just basically said hey and bye,lol I am staying so positive but he actually played a few saints and asked if I have heard them. I said, yes I love those songs. He said, me too and just looked in my eyes. I didn’t say anything back. These are songs that remind me of him so much. I know it was a way of him showing his feelings.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2018 at 11:42 am

If he calls everyday yes, you have a chance..

hopeless

March 6, 2018 at 7:24 pm

This pass month has been different for us both. We spent the weekend together at night only. He held me, which was amazing. He has called and texted several times since then. He has made contact with me each time. Then this morning he calls kinda upset. Saying he had a dream of like something that had happen in our past that he was reliving, kinda. He said I knew we should not be talking because that dream is telling me something. That holding each other is feelings. What would everyone think ( his parents, our kids and his brother) if they found out. I am stronger than this. But I just said I really do not know what to tell you. I cannot tell you sorry but so much. But I am sorry you had that dream. But for me I am having fun that is it. Try to relax, have fun and just live in the moment. So, I am hoping he is not backing off. But I read that dream is out of fear of getting hurt again. What can I do? Or say?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2018 at 6:37 pm

What you said is right and you should live it.. Dont overthink and relax..it was just a dream.

HOPELESS

February 28, 2018 at 4:31 pm

Well, On Valentine’s he asked me to go to lunch (after being at the hospital with our grandkid being born). It was a fun. Nothing but laughing and talking. Then he came over later that night. Which he called me baby and several other emotional comments.The next day he told both of our Son’s how much fun he had. Then his mom. My son (one that was against us getting back together) and my ex’s mom were talking and they both agreed that they think he will come back to me. He has mentioned it to them. These are some people that were so against it. Since then I have spoken to him several times when he calls only. I have texted him 2 times. I did mention to go get a drink. He said that we are not married and no. In one other conservation (last one) he said I believe you are thinking we are more than friends but we aren’t. And will not be.I told him, I know that and we are just friends. He has not said in forever that it is a hopeless situation. Just that we are not getting back together. Everyone is saying how much happier he is when he talks to me or is around me. Not just our kids. I am holding out hope still. But I do not want him to back off at all. I think he has. His brother does not like me at all. And he is always around him.
Just need some more advise on what I can do. How from this point can I make him want, crave and miss me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2018 at 11:40 am

He said that because you asked him out on for drinks? If yes, that means you’re still moving fast.. If you want him to want you, let him do all the initiating..

Kaitlyn

February 26, 2018 at 6:06 pm

So the father of my child and I have been on and off for the last 6 years. We started dating in high school and we were doing good in our relationship until we had our first son. Well he left us when he was 3 months old and we took about a 3 month break where he came back and then we were doing good for about 9 months and then left again. And we were apart for about 9months and as soon as I thought I was ready to start dating someone else and fully move on from him and he came back and swooped me off my feet. Well we ended up getting pregnant again and now I’m 7months pregnant with our second child and he decided to leave again. I really do love him with all my heart and I want more than anything for us to be a family but everytime things get hard he just leaves. And I’m in the minimal contact area but he gets so hot and cold about it. It bothers him that I don’t tell him any extra information that doesn’t have anything to do with the babies. It’s like he wants us to be best friends but I want him to know he can’t keep hurting me like this. He’s said some really hurtful things. And turns around and says something caring later on. I’m not sure what I should do. It would be easier if I wasn’t pregnant but the emotions just over flow me and I avoid all in person contact because of that reason. He says the same things as last time. That this is it we just weren’t meant for each other, he doesn’t love me the same. But I’ve heard it so many times before and I want to know if I should keep trying and have us be a family or is he really done.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2018 at 2:34 pm

Hi Kaitlyn ,

You should move on and just continue to contact him as a co parent.

hopeless

February 8, 2018 at 1:55 pm

So, things seem to be looking better for us to you? I am taking it slowly. And would not ask him about saying that at all. I let him call or text me.. Which is a huge change for me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2018 at 12:17 pm

Yeah for me it is, just don’t rush things.. That’s good just let him initiate but when you talk either in text, call or in person make it light or fun.

hopeless

February 6, 2018 at 5:17 pm

The past weekend I have been told that he has told a few people joking around that he is getting back with his ex wife. My son told me which was strongly against us talking or getting back together that he is okay with it. Which both was said to me out of the blue. Then last night he came over. He told me this is wrong. He does not want me to get hopeful because we can never get back together. He said he can not believe after 2 years he has let his guard down and is so weak. He is upset how weak he is when it comes to me. I do not understand. What is he saying to me? I do not want him to stay away as friends because of this. He looked so deep in my eyes last night I could see his feelings. I strongly believe he cares a lot more than he has said. But what can I do? Or am I loosing him completely again? Please help!??!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 8, 2018 at 11:52 am

don’t rush things it pushes him away.. Let’s say he did say that to friends, he didn’t say it to you so asking him about it sound like you’re demanding it from him.. If he wants to, let’ him show it and say it to you directly and focus more in your life than him.. Set a limit until when you would try slowly building rapport and observing him so that you don’t overthink.. After that limit, move on, just continue to co-parent with him.

HOPELESS

February 5, 2018 at 7:46 pm

Yes, I go out with my friends. And even meet new people. he did come over and we well….. then he said it was a mistake because one of us is going to get hurt. He even said he may.. And that him and I can never happen again as in relationship. Then says things like he is convincing himself not telling me things. I am even more confused if he is just trying to come back some and is scared. I do not want to push what I have now away. Which I have not spoken to him since the morning after. He did say since we are friends. Which is normal not to talk to him. What do you think?

January 25, 2018 at 4:44 pm

In the pass few weeks. I have been ublocked from his phone. I let him contact me only. Unless I needed to about our older kids. He has had to meet me several times bringing me a drink he made from home each time. He would stay over a hour each time talking. One time he was extremely flirty. But I did not act on it. Just smiled alot. He did also. He made sure I was doing okay. For a couple days I haven’t heard from him. First time he text me pictures of our kids when they were younger. I replied a short answer. He text back immediately. I didn’t respond because there was not much to reply to. It seems he wants to be a friend. Or what do you think? How can I make him miss me more and more? Is he considerating it?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2018 at 9:46 pm

be engaging in those talks.. and do you go out with friends or have dates?

EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2018 at 5:20 pm

what did you say when he said that?

I told him to think about it before he says that. If he had fun at that moment and what he wanted to do that it was not. But not to say anything until he thinks about it. I still have not heard from him but from my understanding he now has stated several people that I am going to get back together with my ex wife and my son has made the comment to others I think my parents are going to get back together. but I have not heard from him. I am letting him come to me. I have not text or called at all. So, I am extremely confused .
hopeless

January 30, 2018 at 6:01 pm

Yes, I go out with my friends. And even meet new people. he did come over and we well….. then he said it was a mistake because one of us is going to get hurt. He even said he may.. And that him and I can never happen again as in relationship. Then says things like he is convincing himself not telling me things. I am even more confused if he is just trying to come back some and is scared. I do not want to push what I have now away. Which I have not spoken to him since the morning after. He did say since we are friends. Which is normal not to talk to him. What do you think?

January 25, 2018 at 4:44 pm

In the pass few weeks. I have been ublocked from his phone. I let him contact me only. Unless I needed to about our older kids. He has had to meet me several times bringing me a drink he made from home each time. He would stay over a hour each time talking. One time he was extremely flirty. But I did not act on it. Just smiled alot. He did also. He made sure I was doing okay. For a couple days I haven’t heard from him. First time he text me pictures of our kids when they were younger. I replied a short answer. He text back immediately. I didn’t respond because there was not much to reply to. It seems he wants to be a friend. Or what do you think? How can I make him miss me more and more? Is he considerating it?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2018 at 9:46 pm

be engaging in those talks.. and do you go out with friends or have dates?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2018 at 5:20 pm

what did you say when he said that?

hopeless

January 30, 2018 at 12:40 pm

January 25, 2018 at 4:44 pm

In the pass few weeks. I have been ublocked from his phone. I let him contact me only. Unless I needed to about our older kids. He has had to meet me several times bringing me a drink he made from home each time. He would stay over a hour each time talking. One time he was extremely flirty. But I did not act on it. Just smiled alot. He did also. He made sure I was doing okay. For a couple days I haven’t heard from him. First time he text me pictures of our kids when they were younger. I replied a short answer. He text back immediately. I didn’t respond because there was not much to reply to. It seems he wants to be a friend. Or what do you think? How can I make him miss me more and more? Is he considerating it?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2018 at 9:46 pm

be engaging in those talks.. and do you go out with friends or have dates?

Yes, I go out with my friends. And meet new people. Last week he came by and well we got very close that night. Next day he said it is a mistake that both of us will end up getting hurt. Not just me. I am so confused on what is going on. Or if he truly still loves and misses us. A friend says he is just trying to feel conformable coming back,. I have not spoken to him in a few days though. Which I expected not to.
HOPELESS

January 25, 2018 at 4:44 pm

In the pass few weeks. I have been ublocked from his phone. I let him contact me only. Unless I needed to about our older kids. He has had to meet me several times bringing me a drink he made from home each time. He would stay over a hour each time talking. One time he was extremely flirty. But I did not act on it. Just smiled alot. He did also. He made sure I was doing okay. For a couple days I haven’t heard from him. First time he text me pictures of our kids when they were younger. I replied a short answer. He text back immediately. I didn’t respond because there was not much to reply to. It seems he wants to be a friend. Or what do you think? How can I make him miss me more and more? Is he considerating it?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2018 at 9:46 pm

be engaging in those talks.. and do you go out with friends or have dates?

Hurt deeply

January 20, 2018 at 11:39 pm

Sorry, I see it now after I wrote the previous comment, not sure what happened. I’ll wait for a response. Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 21, 2018 at 6:10 am

Hi,

Yes, you should move on.. It’s not easy for everybody, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t..It takes time and process.. It’s just up to you to decide everyday to choose yourself and to be a good example to your kids. It will take time but you can do it.

Hurt deeply

January 20, 2018 at 11:37 pm

I wrote a long comment here. I explained so much about my situtation and I came back today to check it out, to see if anyone replied and my comment was not here! I poured my heart out in this comment and looked for advice! Where’d it go??
Hurt deeply

January 20, 2018 at 7:35 am

Hello, there’s no way to make this short so I apologize. I was 15 years with a guy never married, two children together (early teenagers). We didnt have the best relationship towards the end (last couple years) he stayed out for nights, come home would sleep all day, not talk to kids or me, very distant and mean, very uncaring, not showing up for their games, recitals, etc. didn’t want to help financially, (but he did have the money) this went on for a long time. He had admitted to me once long ago that he used drugs, told me he stopped but found out over time he didnt. This caused the.. not coming home for nights. I believe other woman may have been in the picture even though I never caught him. Well I shouldn’t say never, I caught him on Facebook trying to get with this girl and found some things in his phone in the past with other girls as well. He always worked he wasn’t lazy, but it got to the point that he’d leave at 6 am and didn’t come home till late 8, 9 o’clock without even speaking to me or the kids sometimes. He stopped loving me, talking to me, showing any type of respect or love for me in front of the children, which I know is very important! Towards the end, he always told me he had no respect for me and I wasn’t of any interest to him. And I believed it because that’s what he showed 100%. Still I didn’t know why I always stayed, why I loved this man so much after he showed me no love what so ever! Or why I allowed him to treat me this way, or as the realtionship coaches/experts/ psychologists would say, what was “my issue” of low self-esteem within myself that allowed that. I kind of grew immune to it, sounds crazy, but its the truth. I always told him he had to go and most of the time he’d give me a hard time and say I couldn’t kick him out. He did leave several times in the past, but we always got back, usually over his terms for the “kids only”, so I’d know the deal between me and him I guess and like a sucker I agreed thinking he’d change his mind and learn to love me again. But he continued and when I brought up anything he was doing wrong, he’d tell me I knew the deal! So a couple months ago, same things were continuing, not coming home, not talking to me, lying to the kids, not showing up for their activities, financially giving me a hard time. I couldn’t take anymore, we argued, I was miserable again. I told him he had to go, so he finally did and got his own place. Since then, he came back (in December) trying to talk to me, telling me he was willing to try and work things out and there’s no one out there for him, no one compares to me. I told him I didn’t know and we had to start slow we went to dinner with the kids that evening. Later he wanted sex of course, I told him no I didn’t want to start that way he said “c’mon we’ve been together too long not to” (something he’d always say). Of course sex was on his mind even though he was telling me thats not all it was and that he really loved me. Well we went to dinner again the next night and his phone rang and it was a girl calling. My son seen her name pop up on his phone and said her name. I was very upset inside but didn’t want to say anything in front of the kids. When were got back to my house he lied to me and told me she was someone he was doing work for. I told him he was lying and to tell me the truth. He finally told me she was just a friend, nothing more, she meant nothing, but of course I didn’t believe that. I told him to call her in front of me if it was nothing. Well, he dialed a number and it just rang. I want sure if it was her # or not, I was so disgusted I didn’t even care to look. The next day I continued to talk about it and tell him I would not accept that in a sturdy, loud voice. He got up and said I can’t listen to this and left. That was it! I texted him a couple days later telling him how hurt I was over this. I told him if he really loved me and wanted to try like he said, he would still be trying right now and proving things to me, not walk away! He replied back and said he couldn’t listen to my mouth anymore and that he tried to call her and told me it was nothing so F it. That was it! On new years eve, a holiday we’ve always spent together he took the kids with him. I got a phone call from my daughter who was very upset telling me that same girl kept calling his phone and my daughter finally answered and told her never to call her father again, the girl said.. “ohh you’re mean just like your father”, your father told me all about you, do you like to bake”. My Daughter was hurt and so was I. We couldn’t believe that he was telling this girl about her. So I told her to give her father his phone back and not to worry about it and not to take it anymore. I text him, telling him what our daughter had seen and what that girl said to her and that she and I were both hurt by this and to please keep his phone away from our daughter so she wouldn’t have you see or hear any of this. This was the same girl he told me was “nothing” was “nobody” but he was telling her all about our daughter?! I was so hurt. He completely ignored me. Not one text back besides at 5:00 am. saying “happy new years loser.” I didn’t respond! I tried the no contact rule after that, but broke it two weeks later texting him about the kids how he lies and hurts them. Again, he was suppose to come to a soccer game, never showed up, ignored the kids phone calls for days, pops up when he feels like it, takes them for 20 mins and drops them right back off. He spends no time with them, tells them he’ll pick them up in the morning before school and get them breakfast but never shows up, so I broke and texted him. I asked why he was doing this to them all these years later, why does he hurt his own kids and lie to them. I told him it wasn’t about me or him and what he was doing to them was wrong and asked him to please stop. He always said he needed to leave me to get his life better, so I thought since he’s been gone he’d be better with them, but he’s hasn’t! I also told him that he gives me no help financially for them. ( he does pay their cell phone and their sports but I pay basically everything else.) His texted me back and told me to go F myself and Im a low life with nothing going for myself and if it wasnt for him the kids wouldnt have anything. I dont understand how he could say these things when I pay all their bills, I pay for food, I pay for everyday things they need in the house! Im here for them both mentally and physically. Im here for them when they’re hurting over him! I pick up his slack when he doesnt show up to take them where he promised he would! My last text to him was telling him all these things and how he was still avoiding how he hurts them on a daily basis and I told him that I see Im never going to get anywhere with him and told him to go F himself. That was last week. Since then no contact and since then he’s still been lying to them. I just wish they didn’t have to go through that. Myself also! Im having a hard time moving on! I know what people will say, F that jerk. I know. I know. But its hard 15 years isn’t easy for me.
bonnie

January 4, 2018 at 4:18 pm

Still so lost on what to do. Our kids are grown. We are expecting a grandchild soon. Baby shower is this weekend. He still tells my son and everyone he is over me and wish I would find someone that makes me happy. Even if he has not moved with someone. He likes coming and going as he pleases. But there is no feeling for me at all. But he calls and talks for hours over holiday. Emails me Happy New Year (because I am blocked) on NY day. I get mixed feelings from him like he is convincing himself he is over me completely?? NYE, I was going to the same bar he was going to until I found out he was going to be there. (not ready to see him out having fun). He said he does not care if I show up he is living his life. Please, help me… I am broken.

Hopeless

December 27, 2017 at 10:35 pm

I read that and we haven’t hardly spoke. Christmas Eve, he called and then on Christmas. He talked for 2 hours about what he has been up to and life. I listened and talked some. But nothing personal about us. I just don’t know. I want hope so bad! I don’t talk about the past to him. I just feel so lost and hopeless.

Hopeless

December 21, 2017 at 2:05 pm

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 9:11 pm

Hi Hopeless,

let’s say he has, what’s your plan?

My plan? I do not have one but so broken right now. I just pray to God. I do not know how to to what to do. Do you think he has?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 25, 2017 at 6:37 pm

ok, then tell him you understand his deicision and you respect that he can’t forgive you now but you’re not going to keep asking for it and being friendly is not workable for now and thank him for everything and talk about co-parenting plans and check this one:
How To Get Your Ex Back When You Have A Child With Them

hopeless

December 19, 2017 at 4:00 pm

I was married for 20+ years. Then one weekend I messed up after 3 years of him and I talking and taking steps to divorce. After I moved out and we were divorced we seen each other for over a year. Then all the sudden he stopped coming around, calling and etc. But still ask our kids and others about me. He is not on Social Media at all. He hates that. He is a private person. He has blocked me for texts and calls. But he calls we talk for a good while. At times personal. We have 2 grown boys. So, we need to talk every once in awhile. When I was going through a rough time he would check every once in a while on me. But would say him and I will NEVER get back together. He does not smile and laugh a lot. When we talked I made him laugh and smile. He said no one hardly can make me smile and laugh that is something I not do often. He has said a few times his pride is so above his heart. And After what I did (one stupid weekend) I will pay forever for. He just has started to go out and have fun and socialize. It has been 3 years since our divorce. A year since he has came around. But he calls and checked on me to make sure I get home safely from a snow storm. I did have to see him the past Sunday. The look in his eyes were like years ago. But he says, he will NEVER take me back and does not want me to his family and our boys. His mother said he has moved on and is ready to move on MORE. What can I do ?? I am so lost. Is he moved on and over me completely?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 9:11 pm

Hi Hopeless,

let’s say he has, what’s your plan?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 11:56 pm

that’s why I asked you what you’re plan if he has moved on? Are you going to move on, chase or try the limited nc? If you’re going to try nc, approach it like he has moved on, that why you’re going to try reattract him instead of hoping there’s still something left from him that you could hold on too.

Claire

December 11, 2017 at 3:01 pm

Thanks for your reply Shauna.
I think I am going to try limited contact.
I am not sure if the dating will work for me because I did go once and my ex found out & he was not impressed to say the least even though he has a GF:/ He was quite ignorant about it then he found out who this boy was & sent me a picture of him with laughing faces beside it so that response was quite confusing but I didn’t react.
I get what you are saying about knowing our family business even though he isn’t here I get this daily he seems to want to know everything about us, were we are, we’re we’re going etc.
Luna

December 4, 2017 at 7:07 pm

Hi Amor

Thanks – no I don’t mind if he sees me happy even when I’m without him – i think all humans will do so as we are all resilient and in all cases people who break up will eventually all be happy on their own even if they are not with each other.

I guess I’m afraid he will say ‘see if we were miserable married together and now we are both happy on our own apart why should we get back together because clearly we better off or happier on our own?’

I’m afraid he will think I’m happier coz we better off apart and that we can’t be happy also by being together so by seeing me happy he will never want to try again with me:(

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 5, 2017 at 4:32 pm

Take this as a restart.. It’s better for him to be attracted to you again later on because he sees you in a different light..than to hope he will come back because of old feelings

Luna

December 4, 2017 at 8:59 am

Hi Amor

Thanks – no I don’t mind if he sees me happy even when I’m without him – i think all humans can do so we are all resilient and in all cases people who break up will eventually all be happy on their own even if they are not with each other.

I guess I’m afraid he will say ‘see if we were miserable married together and now we both happy on our own apart why should we get back together?’

I’m afraid he will think I’m happier coz we better off apart and that we can’t be happy also by being together…
Broken

December 2, 2017 at 10:19 pm

Hi I just wanted to know if I should move on or not.
My Ex & i were together 10 years & have 2 kids. I broke it off with him because I felt he was taking me for granted & not helping out with family life enough. Since the breakup my family have made his life a living hell I have tried to stop this but I might aswel talk to myself they wont butt out but the reason they have got involved is because he found himself a new gf very fast 3weeks:/ I did no contact for 7weeks & now we get on great he is very positive. Then one day he is hot the next cold. He told me a month ago he still loves & misses me but my family have ruined our future according to him:( He intiates contact all the time & spends time with me when kids aren’t there i never contact him ever regarding anything & he is still with this gf. I refuse to mention her & he has never mentioned her to me but said he will be moving out of his mums soon so i am assuming it will be with her but I won’t ask as its crazy they have only knowing each other 5months:/ What shall I do 10years seems like a waste now he’s not at home with his family:(

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 5, 2017 at 1:34 am

If I say move on, would you really move on? Probably not, but I understand.. the best you can do right now, is to try the advice above first.. focus in improving yourself and maintaining the new routine now with your kids, or make it better one, even if he’s not around..

Luna

December 2, 2017 at 9:25 am

Hi Shauna

Thanks for the tips – however I am fearful that if I have an ex who is a self sabotage typical ‘romantic hero’, I now go make myself happy, focus on me and our kids and do a lot to be happy, get new hobbies, a makeover – he is someone who will say ‘see it’s clear she’s better off without me look how well she’s doing on her own she can manage? Clearly when we were together we weren’t as happy as what she is now?’

How do I avoid the issue that implementing your tips becoming a new happier me may blow up in my face if my ex thinks like what I described above?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 4, 2017 at 6:46 am

Would you rather let him think it’s better that you’re sad because you’re not with him?

Zuzanna

October 25, 2017 at 7:03 am

My ex and I have a 2 week old baby together who I have sole custody of at the current time.
Because bub is so young, and my ex (let’s call him Pete) still wants to be in his (Babys) life from the start, it requires us to be in contact every second day and then around each other for hrs when he comes over to visit our son – which is 3-4 times a week.
When together it can go one of two ways – he is constantly trying to make me jealous about other girls he is talking to, or he will be extremely sweet, constantly looking at me and making jokes.
When saying goodbye of a visit, he will always holds me in a long, tight hug before going home.
Since we broke up, he has admitted to still being in love with me, missing me and has brought up a hypothetical engagement twice.
In this situation how can I go about no contact and start on the track of getting him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 28, 2017 at 7:18 pm

Hi zuzanna,

Do you want to try limited contact as per advice above?

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156 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Back When You Have A Child With Them”