How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If HE Broke Up With You

1,328 thoughts on “He Broke Up With You And Now You Want Him Back”

Ashi

December 31, 2013 at 5:28 am

Hey,
i want to tell you that i m in love with this person lyk a hell. He was the one who approached me and made me fall for him . Its been 3 years and from last few months nothing is going fine He got busy in business and not able to give me time , but i respected that. And was there with him. After that one day he text me he want to be
seperated .i w as shockd no doubtedly i beged , i cried alot, and he said just because of your silly mistakes i dnt want you..
And frankly telling you he keeps on telling me my mistakes even though if there wont be any . But still as i love him i accept my mistakes and try not to do in future.
He took h 2 mnths break to focus on carrier during this we hardly talkd to each other.after that break got over by him in 1mnth only and he told me he started liking a girl she proposed him.and said if u didnt lend me down with your mistakes i would be yours. I asked him give me another chance .he denied and also said me to stay away with his family .As both of our family known about our relation and future plans to marry.

admin

January 1, 2014 at 10:58 pm

So, his family doesn’t approve of you? I am a little confused.
Ashi

January 2, 2014 at 6:15 am

Dey lyk me even we go to each other house so our family very humbbly treat us as a prt of family like only.
Ashi

December 31, 2013 at 5:36 am

Now he is saying everything is over i love another girl n il marry her . His family met him he told me this also. And that the girl is very much in love with him .
I cant believe he found new love its been 4 mnths of being seperated and he do believe he wont come back to me ever .
I love him very much .. He is the ryt guy who changed me all the way . I want him back . To be with me again and the hepromises we made together to be full filled .
Please help me we even didnt told our famikies that ve are seperated and dntwant that day to come ever .

Freddie

December 30, 2013 at 10:58 am

Hi my ex chased me for three years I wasn’t ready for a relationship he went out with my friend and until it was right I kept away he hurt her then two months ago I decided to give it a go
Done everything to make relationship work
He said I was beautiful and had nearly given up
Then gets me and said our relationship was more than spark its fire
Then finishes with me saying he’s not ready for a relationship ?????
He constantly let me down
Trouble is I have actually fell for him
I let my guard down now I feel devisated
What should I do
He knows now how I feel
I’m gutted
What should I do
Ashley

December 30, 2013 at 2:55 am

Ok so I have survived 10 days of no contact and agreed the same day that we should break up. He said he wants to be single but that we should be friends. I said no so then he said we are done then and said that we shouldn’t talk atleast not for awhile? I handle that day really well and I miss him and want to talk to him. I only have 20 days left. Do you think we have a chance to get back together?
Melissa

December 29, 2013 at 4:14 pm

My boyfriend of five months broke up with me and is in a rebound relationship. I really want to thank you for all of your articles. They are rather helpful and helping me come up with a game plan. I was a bit emotional the first week and after reading your articles about rebound relationships, getting a BF back after a break up it makes sense. I was hurt and confused. But what you wrote and said about emotions makes sense. I wish I could’ve kept them in tact because I did text him quite a bit the first week. Texting him to give him things to think about and trying to say good bye. I’ve been doing a lot of different research and because I overreacted I decided to send him a text letting him know that I agree with the break up and think its best for both of us. I told him I was sorry for being a little crazy and over emotional and that I do care about him and like him but that I think he is right. So I am officially starting no contact.
What hurts the most is that he never told me he had feelings for someone else and told me he just wanted to be single, stay friends and how I haven’t done anything wrong. But then when I said I can’t be his friend that was when he got upset with me and finally told me he had feelings for someone else and that he and I shouldn’t talk atleast for awhile.

I’ve bee reading others peoples posts as I go through the articles and notice they have acted over emotional and have gotten there exes back.

I honestly feel as though he wanted to stay friends to fix things like he has done in the past. But I want to cut off a friendship because I don’t want to be just his friend. This rebound I feel is out of convenience because he and I can only see eachtoher once a week. I know this seasonal job will end soon which would mean more time for he and I.

The good news is that he and I never fought but always talked things through. We had a lot of fun good memories and nothing bad to say about eachtoher.

I have a 30 day game plan. To get even more toned then I am and just have fun. Being in a relationship you lose time for yourself. I get a chance to rediscover myself.

I do have a few questions though.

he had mentioned we shouoln’t talk for awhile and even though I messed up the first week which sounds pretty normal lol, I atleast agreed with him and feel great today. Did that ruin my chances and do you think by him saying that means I will hear from him?

Also things I texted were really nice good bye messages reminding him of everything we shared together and how amazing he and I were, that I want to be there for him with his family stuff but space is good. I sent him some songs but the only few times I got over emotional was when he wouldn’t respond and my mind was thinking about his rebound relationship. That’s just why I decided to agree oh and I did tell him that it is cool he is with someone and am happy for him. So now I feel emotional stable to do no contact.

So did I ruin it from the first week and is it possible to still here from him since he said we shouldn’t talk for awhile?

Also because he is in a rebound relationship and I read your article about getting a guy back if he has a gf should I not answer his phone calls or texts if he calls until the 30 days are up?

And do you think I should wait more than 30days because the last time we got together and rushed into it we broke up again? I honestly think he is holding on until this seasonal job is over. IDK that is why I wanted to ask you those few questions.

Your articles are really helpful and now I understand why I felt what I felt. Thank you and thank you for the pictures to. It’s awesome.

Also because he and I got a long so well and really understand eachother do you think he will think about me while he is in this rebound relationship?

I hope my chances aren’t shot and thanks for reading and answering all of my questions.
merry

December 29, 2013 at 3:06 am

Hi
I had a 9 months long relationship and he broke up with me. On the day he broke up with me I tired to txt but he replied that he didn’t want to talk. I stopped contacting him the next day but I had to txt a week after to get some of my personl belongings from him. I brokedown after I saw that he gave me everything I gave as presents. I txted him again then. But since then I blocked him from facebook and didn’t communicate at all. But he txted me the week after saying he found one of my dresses and asked what I wanted him to do with it. I told him to throw it away. Since then we didn’t contact each other in anyway. He broke up with me on December 6, so it’s almost a month now. Is there still a chance to be back together?

admin

December 29, 2013 at 6:59 pm

Sure there is a chance.

Leslie

December 29, 2013 at 2:00 am

Ok so its a year later. I finally got my ex – well sort of ex we never really dated but almost came close I just made a dumb mistake by blowing him off for my guy friends. Long story short after being patient and doing no contact even after a couple of months of him still being angry he started texting me when I would leave simplistic texts that caught his eye. We texted for a week and hung out last night. I slept with him and he stayed over. We talked this morning and he hugged and kissed me good bye saying he will text me which he is good about following through.
What should my next move be?
Last time we beat around the bush about dating but were both dumb and never really talked and then I made that mistake. I am hoping this is a second shot. I hope I just didn’t blow it by sleeping with him to soon even though it was amazing. It felt so right like before.

My question is what should my next moves be? I have a bad habit of letting guys get away with negative patterns of behavior because I don’t want to lose them which loses self respect or how they place value on me.

I know I hurt him pretty badly with how angry he was. I honestly felt like giving up. I’m excited and don’t want to blow my chances with him this time.

He is playful and its easy to get him to want more. lol.

But how to get it to where its “his” idea to continue to talk to me and pursue me and for it to hopefully getting him to stay. Its easy to get an ex boyfriend back but harder to get them to stick around and I don’t want to be his “casual” girl.

admin

December 29, 2013 at 6:54 pm

I agree it is harder to get a guy to stick around. I did write something about that though.
Leslie

December 30, 2013 at 2:51 am

What is the best to get him to stick around?

Anna Wright

December 29, 2013 at 1:18 am

My bf ended the relationship of year saying…i love you but im not IN love with you. I asked him to give us another chance…didnt freak out…but he said he felt like i was trying to guilt him into continuing the relatioship. I got his point and went no contact…and deleted him from facebook and twitter….after 30 days he sent me a text about a sports team we both like…three short text messages about an hour apart. I didnt reply. After almost 80 days….he sent another message on the day we were supposed to attend a sporting event together commenting about the game (since we both watched it on tv separately and obviously didnt go). I replied…and we messaged back and forth abouy 10 times teasing eachother about whose team is better. He responded last with a one word reply (yeah…) and we havent spoken since (that was 5 days ago). There was no other dialogue except sports. What do you make of this? Is he showing interest, feeling guilty, looking for friendship? What could be his purpose and what should i expect….more contact or none? If there is more contact should I ignore? My hope is either to totally rekindle or totally move on. I wont remain friends as that is too painful. Thanks…

admin

December 29, 2013 at 6:53 pm

Are you NC him?
Anna Wright

December 29, 2013 at 7:21 pm

Do I go NC again? I did 30 days NC and he messaged me…to which I didn’t reply. He messaged again after 80 days and I did reply….we chatted back and forth only about sports..nothing personal or relationship-oriented. Do I go NC again and ignore if he messages or what?
admin

December 30, 2013 at 8:13 pm

Go into NC for a few days and then message him again.
Anna Wright

December 31, 2013 at 2:17 am

Okay…did that. Went NC again for about a week then messaged him yesterday….just said congrats his fave team made the playoffs. He messaged back right away saying the game was exciting. So, I didn’t respond. I’m waiting for him to make some other gesture. I spent hours reading all of your suggestions to every scenario…and this has me baffled. Is he interested or not? If he is….why are his only comments related to sports? Granted…we are both huge sports enthusiasts. But my guess is…if he wants to re-kindle…his comments would go beyond sports? What are your thoughts here?
Anna Wright

January 18, 2014 at 1:08 am

Ugh!!! He messaged me again after about two weeks!!! Another sports comment..this time it was about basketball (which I love almost as much as football). But…my question…why is he messaging me every 15-30 days with only comments on sports??? What could this possibly mean, and how should I proceed??? Any advice is much appreciated.
admin

January 20, 2014 at 12:23 am

He probably thinks thats a neutral way to break the ice.
Anna Wright

January 30, 2014 at 3:00 am

Actually, he probably does think that…or else he is bored. But the more this goes on…the less I care. I really just need to move on! I blocked his number today….soooo empowering to know it is over, and I ended the contact. Thanks for your advice. You have a great site here! Best of luck to you!

lisa

December 28, 2013 at 12:08 am

Is it possible to win him back if you contacted him the first week and a few times. Not begging but go over where things went wrong and agreeing about space. What if it was hard to agree that the break up was good and for the best. and I didn’t do that

admin

December 28, 2013 at 7:33 pm

Sure it is.
Lisa

December 28, 2013 at 9:35 pm

Ok. So I am going to start no contact. The hard thing is he isn’t good at talking about things or solving problems. He usually like to break up, be friends that talk and then talk about the issue and get back together. So this time I put my foot down saying no to being friends. I know he isn’t talking to me because I asked. So how should I approach him in 30 days? With the samples of texts you give?
admin

December 29, 2013 at 6:40 pm

Read this:

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/
Leslie

December 30, 2013 at 1:19 am

Thanks! That was very helpful

Michelle

December 28, 2013 at 12:03 am

Ok so I had a boyfriend of five months things were great. He lives 30 minutes away and once he began working two jobs and driving back and forth for his weekend job he realized that would be all he had time for.

We were off and on once that started. Then when things go good I was suppose to meet his family for the first time for Christmas. I was super excited about it : ). Two days before he dumps me. Saying he doesn’t want to talk about it. I ask why and he says he isn’t feeling it any more then he broke down and said I have feelings for some one else. I don’t know if that is true because he has always said its just been me and him and he has time for nothing else. However once he got this second job he would only take me out on sundays because he had more time and didn’t get off so late. I also know he wasn’t sure what was happening with Christmas because his family has a lot of problemns and his dad is an alcoholic and he helps raise his two brothers.

Am I just making excuses for him?
Was he just mad and used an excuse cause before I would ask if he met someone and he said no.
Is he scared that he is losing his freedom because he said he just wants to be single?
Do you think he is really has feelings for someone else?
How can you get your ex back if he is seeing someone else? What I don’t understand is we just got back together and things were great and he did this?

What can I do. I haven’t contacted him since I’m hurt and confused. he always said it was just us two?

Was he cheating on me or did he really not have the time? Because it was weird he said ” I have feelings for someone else but I never cheated on you. He also still wanted to be my friend. Did he want to be me friend because he wasn’t sure about this relationship. He isn’t talking to me now because I said I can’t be his friend I like him.

I don’t need advice about the no contact but can you answer my questions please and would it even be possible to get him back? He told me he liked me that I never did anything wrong? Is this rebound going to last? What do I do in the mean time? I also have a really nice gift that I bought him and want to give it to him. What do I do about that?

I’ve noticed you answer everyone’s questions and would appreciate it if you answered and helped me out.

admin

December 28, 2013 at 7:32 pm

ARe you doing NC with him?

Have you read my guide on rebounds?
Lisa

December 28, 2013 at 10:25 pm

I just read your article and it is a rebound relationship. It happened while he was still pursuing me. He still wanted to be friends but I told him no and when I got him to casually talk about it that was when he said he had feelings for someone else but never cheated.

Was it good that I put my foot down about not being friends? Cause usually then we talk and get back together. I think he planned this like you suggested in your article.

I haven’t done no contact on him yet and was a little emotional but suggested and gave him things to think about.

We were only together 4-5 months serious enough to invite me to Christmas. Will that be a problem in getting him back?

Did he want to be friends to keep me around because he was still unsure and that was why he tried hiding it when he broke up?

Are my chances shot even though I wasn’t good about the no contact? I want to start applying that today.

I am glad that he and I got along really well could talk for hours.

So those are my questions:

Will it be a problem in getting him back if we dated for four to five months?

Did he want to be friends because he was still unsure and that was why he tried hiding it when he broke up?

Did he want to be friends to keep me around because he was still unsure and that was why he tried hiding it when he broke up?

Thanks for writing back and helping me out : ).

I just hope my chances aren’t shot.

And why would he say he never cheated?

Is there something I should say or do to exist gracefully or just accept the fact that its over and apply no contact
admin

December 29, 2013 at 6:44 pm

Just go right into NC.. no explanations just do it.
Leslie

December 30, 2013 at 1:18 am

Thanks!!
Lisa

December 29, 2013 at 7:20 pm

Ok great. I am starting it today with a game plan. I’ve been reading a lot of your articles which are helpful.
I’ve read your ones on how to get your ex to text and how to get him back if he is in a rebound relationship and what to text your ex. I am trying to map out my plan now before I get side tracked with school again. So my question is what type of text should I start out with. The ones you suggested if he is dating someone or the ones you suggested on getting him back?
I you could give me an example of what to start with that would be great :).
Then my other question is I like your idea of putting him in the friend zone and the flirting and putting him back and so forth so I want to apply that but after I apply the first text you suggest and slowly create other texts what should I do the memory texts that you suggest with the words you have described.
Thanks for helping : ). It was really hard coming up with everything we shared I almost wanted to text him but am glad I didn’t. I am days behind when I could have been over a week ahead. lol.
admin

December 30, 2013 at 8:10 pm

I am glad you are getting something out of the guides.
Lisa

December 28, 2013 at 10:53 pm

Ok so this is what I decided to text to save myself from acting crazy:

I am sorry for acting crazy and overly emotional but I wanted to let you know that I agree with you and think that the break up is for the best. You know I care about you and think your great but I kind of saw it coming and I think that you are right : )
admin

December 29, 2013 at 6:46 pm

I think thats a good text.
Lisa

December 28, 2013 at 10:54 pm

Do you think that will work?
admin

December 29, 2013 at 6:44 pm

I do
Lisa

December 29, 2013 at 12:20 am

and tomorrow because I texted that today will be my day one of no contact
Lisa

December 29, 2013 at 1:46 am

I did read your guide on how to get him back if he is with a new girl and that helped as well. I just hope that what I texted him today was ok and especially if I apply the no contact rule starting tomorrow because today doesn’t really count. I really appreciate how you get back so quickly and have taken the time to give great advice.
Do you think what I texted was ok..to let him know I agree so that erases my mistakes in texting during the first week of our break up. You were right with the rebound and how I felt and that was why I texted him I had different types of emotions but some texts were trying to say goodbye it was just hard so today to make up for what I did I texted in agreeing with him and that it is a good idea.
Do you think it will work?

Mandy

December 27, 2013 at 8:53 pm

how can I get him back if he broke up because of time and distance? he said he wanted to be friends but I said I can’t so right now we are nothing. I was going to go over for xmas we had recently gotten back together but we hardly see each other or talk to each other right now because of how much he is working. He told me he just wanted to be single and when we had worked things out he said that things would be changing soon. So i know he cares about me because he told me even when he broke up I asked if he did. He didn’t want to talk much that day but for him more than me us not seeing each other or talking a lot is an issue. He has always made statements while I was in school how he wants to see me a lot but we will figure something out. Him having this temporary second job has put a strain on our relationship even thought it s a really good one and after the fact we always talk, When he said he wanted to be friends and I no he said fine we would be nothing than. I haven’t heard from him since and haven’t talked to him since the break up but he did say that we should not talk at least not for awhile. Is there any hope in getting him to come back if I keep doing no contact. The only thing I wish I would’ve done was agreed with the break up I kept asking if he could talk about it and he said no. So he got a little pissed and then later i just sent him a nice text to end things on a good note. So will there be hope in getting him back?

admin

December 28, 2013 at 7:12 pm

Have you read my long distance guide?

sydney11

December 27, 2013 at 4:39 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me the day before Christmas Eve. We only dated for about two and a half months. We spent almost everyday together because we’re somewhat neighbors, and I personally feel like we had just spent too much time together too fast. We were pretty close and he really seemed to care about me and I really do care for him.. But the last week of the relationship he was acting somewhat distant so I went ahead and asked him if he still liked me over text. He was taking a while to reply so I called him and asked. He said he wasn’t really sure. He said it was him but he said he wasn’t sure if he did and that he kind of just lost the spark and he felt like this for about the past two weeks, but he didn’t want to tell me because he was trying to make it work and he knows how much I care. He also said that he’s just been going nonstop lately and because he just got a promotion at work and he’s also trying to start his own business. But he did say he still wanted to be friends and talk and hangout occasionally to see how it goes. But we haven’t talked since, except he told me He hopes I have a Merry Christmas. But nothing else. I really want to keep him close in my life and become friends and see where it goes from there. It’s really worth it to me to see if we could date again because it was the best relationship I’ve had and I feel like it could happen again. It’s only been four days since we broke up but I haven’t heard from him and I’m not sure if I should try to contact him or not.. I don’t know how much space he needs. I don’t really have hard feelings because he was honest for the most part and didn’t want to hurt me. I’m just so lost as to what to do
maria

December 27, 2013 at 9:37 am

My bf broke up with me last October because I did not allow him to pursue his modelling career. I reacted like that because I became so jealous and immature. Now that I wanted him back and realized my mistakes, he rejects me over and over again. He does not even answer my text or calls. Last time that we had communication, he said that I am still special for him. Then the next day, he turned left and told me that there were many hindrances with our relationship. Even if he wanted to go back with me, he stated that he thinks it will only become hard for me. </3

admin

December 27, 2013 at 7:40 pm

Why didn’t you allow him to pursue his modeling career?

Sandra

December 26, 2013 at 10:00 pm

I need help
I’ve been with my ex for nine years and have two.kids with him and. We started talking back again after being broken up for 6 months.
He keeps running back and forth and is in a new relationship .
The person he’s with now is very controlling and doesn’t allow him to have contact with his kids. He calls me when she’s not around and tells me he loves me but still confused .
I wana work things out for the sake of the kids and we do have history .
Now I need opinions on how to get him back or should I just let it go.

admin

December 27, 2013 at 7:06 pm

9 years and two kids.

I am really sorry about the breakup..

During your conversations are you leaving him wanting more?

Opinion Please

December 26, 2013 at 5:58 am

I received this text message from my Ex boyfriend today. He broke up with me in May. He kept in touch all summer, and we had classes together during the fall semester so I saw him regularly- interactions were friendly but distant. I haven’t talked to him in weeks and he sent this today:

Hey just wanted to wish you and your family a merry christmas! I didn’t get to see you much at the end of the semester, but I wanted you to know that I am so happy for you that you got into such great graduate school! I am sorry if I wasn’t myself around you this semester it was hard because I didn’t want to lead you on. Have a wonderful break and let me know if you ever need anything.

Why do you think he texted me this? From the sounds of the message I think he is entirely moved on with no intention of getting back together? What do you think? I would really appreciate your opinion!

I don’t understand how guys think haha
Thanks Chris!

admin

December 26, 2013 at 6:25 pm

I think he was just trying to be nice…
Opinion Please

December 26, 2013 at 7:45 pm

Okay. But from the sounds of it do you think he is entirely moved on? I feel like there is no chance of me getting him back at this point.
admin

December 27, 2013 at 6:55 pm

I would say that your chances do appear to be a bit lower.
Opinion Please

December 29, 2013 at 8:49 pm

🙁 That’s what I was afraid of.

amy

December 25, 2013 at 3:56 am

my bf of 11 months decided he was going to walk out and leave me 2 days before xmas when he had promised we spend it together i popped out for a few hours on monday and when i got back he had disappered he said the reason was because he fell out of love with me but he also said he still has feelings for me but not the same like he used to is there any way of getting him back i miss him and love him loads but he dont feel the same about me

admin

December 26, 2013 at 5:48 pm

Have you attempted the NC rule?

Janet

December 20, 2013 at 5:11 am

I told him im hurt but ill be ok with whatever he decides, and that I respect his feelings. I also told him I hope hes still my friend too. But I want him back and want our relationship to be longsting and healthy. If not then I rather have him as a friend then not have him in my life. He knows how good a person im and hes told me maybe thats why he likes me. Help me please

admin

December 21, 2013 at 3:35 am

Are you going to do a NC rule?

Janet

December 20, 2013 at 5:01 am

My date and I met @ work back in August. At first it was just flirting not even saying hi, just smiling and staring at each other and winking. Then we started by ” how ru?” And talking about work and still flirting. Then in October he asked me if I wanted a ride home ( i dnt have a car) andever since then everything was good until this past weekend. During that time be left me hanging 3times, one i forgave him for cos he taught i was mad at him. He is a good guy and I want him back. But this week he hasnt contacted me except fb. Evryday. He said he dsnt think we should talk anymore bcos he dsnt want a gurlfriend right now, but he wants to be friends

admin

December 21, 2013 at 3:35 am

Well, are you going to do NC?

Sara

December 19, 2013 at 10:04 pm

Hi my boyfriend of 4 months just broke up with me. We have a really healthy relationship but things started getting rocky when he started working more and us being able to see eachother and talk less. We already broke up due to this issue but then talked about things and how we wanted to make it work. He also invited me to meet his family over xmas but then this weekend I was talking to him and he knew I was hanging out with my guy friend. He seemed fine with that but an issue of my not being able to come over any more seemed to be a problem because he wasn’t sure if xmas was going to happen. His family isn’t that great and has issues like mine does. A lot of fighting alcohol ect. He said he still wants to be friend when he broke up with me today. I tried talking to him about things but he was angry and didn’t want to talk to ne about it just simply said he wasn’t feeling it anymore. However I feel as though there are issues and when he has a lot going on this is how he responds to me. by wanting to break up. He got really mad when I wanted to discuss things. He didn’t text me back any more and so I decided to text him by saying that I agree with him and that he is probably right that this is for the best and that maybe some day I can be his friend even though I really just want more. I do not know what to do. Sometimes he calls me when he gets off of work and I don’t know if he will today?

sara

December 27, 2013 at 12:21 am

How do I do that? We always talk after the fact and right now he isn’t receptive to talking. Its really hard. I gave him a lot to think about and let him know I understand where he is coming from and let him know space was good.

What else is interesting is last week he told me to not tell my friend about our fight and I said I wont. She knew I was going to his place for Christmas. When I talked to her this week she didn’t mention anything about and said all he talked about was the fact that he needs to go Christmas shoping. I haven’t heard anything and he knows I care and gave him a lot to think about while accepting its over but him knowing I would like to get better.
What should I do now. I fought for him letting it be his choice in the end and now should I just step back and not talk to him until he comes around.

He will usually say I just want to be single, you’ve done nothing wrong and then he tells me he likes me which means he has stuff on his mind.
admin

December 21, 2013 at 3:19 am

Maybe you need to take a different approach. Kind of slowly work your way up to asking him the deeper stuff…
Aairyanna Radford

January 6, 2014 at 2:16 am

I have the same problems
sara

December 27, 2013 at 3:07 pm

That sounds great so how do I go about doing that? I sent him a few texts giving him some things to think about and that space is good for now and but that I am here for him. When he broke up he didn’t want to talk and said I have done nothing wrong just wants to be single he usually does this when he is going through something. So that is why I wrote him letting him know I am here if he needs me and understand. Not begging him but letting him know its still his choice and that space is good.

Also when he went to work he didn’t tell my friend and asked me to not tell her anything. I asked her how he was and what he said, Nothing about us breaking up only mentioned Christmas shopping.

Should I just go no contact now and why did he not tell my friend? He told her I was coming over for Xmas? What is the best way to get him to talk about deeper stuff?
sara

December 27, 2013 at 3:27 pm

Also one last thing. I had a hard time the first week not talking to him. I know he is not responding because I said I can’t be his “friend” so he said its best we don’t talk awhile. None of my texts in no way begged to be with him, but gave him things to think about and none of them involved name calling. I finally feel ok to do No contact after leaving him a nice long text of how I feel and letting it be his choice but thanking him and blah blah. He also knows I understand and am on his side about his family issues and troubles. So the fact that he hasn’t told my friend anything I feel as though I don’t have to worry and he did tell me I have done nothing wrong.
However have I completely blown it? I am fine now with not talking to him. Do you think he doesn’t want to talk because I wasn’t interested in being his friend and that its best to wait if we talk? When he goes through something he suggest we be friends only to get back together.
I just want to make sure that I didn’t completely mess up but I never did beg to jump back together because I did tell him whenever we rush into something comes up and he gets scared and doesn’t talk to me. He did tell me likes me and has feelings for me.
So I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t entirely mess up by letting him know I am moving on and the option is his. I am now finally ready to go into no contact. It will just be hard.
sara

December 27, 2013 at 3:29 pm

Also if he asks my friend at work how I am doing what should I have her say. She will usually say what I want
sara

December 27, 2013 at 3:48 pm

I also know one of our big issues was time. That is huge for him as well because we don’t get to talk often and hardly see eachother but when do its amazing and we get along so well.
sara

December 27, 2013 at 5:56 pm

I also feel that is probably why he wanted to be friends and keep in touch. His job stuff will be changing soon so I’m not sure what to do at this point. I know that this is a problem because we have talked about it before and how he would like it if we could talk and see eachother more.
sara

December 27, 2013 at 2:59 pm

How do I go about that it? When he broke up he didn’t want to talk about it at all. So I wrote a few things to let him know I care and gave him a few things to think about with the notion that I understand we are broken up. I also told him I sorry I overreacted about him telling me he wasn’t sure what was happening about Chirstmas. Otherwise he would’ve talked about it. I suggested space be good for awhile and that I still have his presents.

Also he told me to not tell my friend who he works with. I did ask her if he mentioned anything at work and she said no he just mentioned that he needed to buy his presents.
I told him with everything that a I had said and not begging to get back with him that it is his choice.

Should I go no contact now? I thought he would’ve told my friend he and I are broken up?

Thanks….
admin

December 27, 2013 at 7:48 pm

I would go NC now if I was you.
Sara

December 27, 2013 at 4:00 am

How do I do that? He will usually do the I just want to be single you have done nothing wrong approach when something is going on. I still haven’t heard from him but let him know I know we are broken up, but still care and understand what he is going through. I gave him a lotto think about and let him know this can be what he wants but his choice. Because I am not capable of being just friends we haven’t talked. He said atleast let’s not talk for awhile.

Also he told my friend that he works with that I was going to his place for xmas and when he did this whole break up thing he told me not to tell her. The day they worked together after he left I asked if he told her anything and she said no he just talked about working out and xmas shopping. Usually he will tell her whats going on. So idk what to do our think. I gave him a lot to think about.

Any other advice and should I wait until he contacts me? Isn’t weird he didn’t tell my friend we were broken up (btw she has a bf) so its not like that with the two of them
admin

December 27, 2013 at 7:31 pm

It is a little bit weird but could it be that he didn’t want to start any type of drama in front of them?
sara

December 27, 2013 at 12:26 am

He also suggested we don’t talk atleast for awhile. So does that mean there is hope if of him coming around when he is ready to especially since he hasn’t told my friend yet?
admin

December 27, 2013 at 7:19 pm

Well don’t talk to him for a while then.
sara

December 27, 2013 at 7:43 pm

Thanks for replying. I have decided to do the no contact and am applying that today and left things for him to decide what he wants to do with everything. Also if he sees my friend this weekend at work and he mentions me what should I have her say? That I am doing good and that she really hasn’t heard from me since she told me about her great grandma passing away? Also I did text him a few things, things to think about and did say that space would be good. So I hope that doesn’t blow things but it wasn’t begging him to be back together just agreeing about the space. I just want to make sure I didn’t ruin anything by texting him because he hasn’t texted me back yet. So I know that its best to apply no contact. I know he isn’t ready to talk and things ended ok because he said I did nothing wrong and we could be friends. I just upset him because I wanted to talk and he didn’t. So we left it at that. Because I said we can’t then he said we are nothing and that it would be best to not talk atleast for awhile. He also told me he has feelings for me and likes me so that is why I am confused but know he is dealing with a lot and doesn’t like that he can’t see or talk to me as much right now. Which soon he said everything is going to change. Thanks for any more tips. I like how straight forward you are.
Also is he not talking to me right now because I said I can’t be his friend?
admin

December 28, 2013 at 7:11 pm

He may be…

But I am glad you were honest with him.
Lisa

December 29, 2013 at 1:48 am

It was really hard to be. I lost a family member and then my boyfriend and I told him I couldn’t be friends so he said we were nothing but then said we shouldn’t talk atleast for awhile?
sara

December 26, 2013 at 11:12 pm

What would be the best way to go about this. Also he asked me to not tell me friend at work, yet he had told her I was going over for xmas then this week he I asked if he said anything to her and she said no he just said he needed to go Christmas shopping
Sara

December 26, 2013 at 10:09 pm

How should I go about doing that? He is so scared to talk to me about deep issues like this and we talk about them after the fact. I haven’t heard from him yet. I also brought up some issues letting him know I understand where he is coming from because I have similar family problems as well. I also told him that some space would be good for us for now that way we can think things through. I told him I understand we are broken up but if he is interested in getting back together I am too. I then kind of left it as I know I gave him a lot to think about and I know I wont here from him until after Christmas. He asked me not to tell my friend about this at work because they work together and she told me he didn’t mention anything about us being broken up. Should I give him time and space or say anything else? I told him I know we can get through this but also mentioned that I wish he wasn’t so afraid to talk to me about these things. I know I am the first girl that he can relate to about family issues because my father was like his step dad and think he is having a hard time accepting how understanding I am. I did make a mistake of taking my grieving out on him and he can’t handle stress or people being mad at him. Is there something else I can do or say or just give it time. I have been really good about not begging him to be back together but saying I am here if he needs anything at all and if and when he is ready to talk he can call me. Also reassuring him that he knows where I stand and have accepted things but am interested in being together. Thanks. I was surprised that he didn’t tell my friend about us being broken up because because he told her about me going over to meet his parents. I know how embarrassing it can be to talk about family issues like that. I did apologize that night and said it was hard and understand why us not talking right now is good but I now it was because he was too embarrassed to tell me about his family issues. Then when we do talk its great and I don’t think I will hear from him until after xmas. What else can I do or say?
admin

December 27, 2013 at 7:09 pm

Just in every convo you have to think to yourself “am I leaving him wanting more.”

sara

December 19, 2013 at 9:56 pm

Hi,
My boyfriend just broke up with me and it could be one of two reasons? Its hard cause we don’t get to see or talk to each other a lot. I hung out with my guy friend one night and he was texting and asked what I was doing he seemed ok with it, but then we were talking about xmas and said it may not be on anymore cause he heard his parents talking. So idk what to think. His response was the he wasn’t feeling it any more and wanted to be friends. I told him I couldn’t. I suggested a few things as to why he is mad but he hasn’t texted me back. So instead I just decided to let him know that his decision is probably for the best. Maybe One day I can be his friend but I agreed with him about the break up and left it at that. I still really care about him though and like him a lot. Our relationship is really healthy the only time it seemed to begin to have issues is us not being able to talk that much or hang out that much because of a little bit of distance and how much he works.

admin

December 21, 2013 at 3:18 am

Have you attempted any NC yet?

tracy

December 19, 2013 at 5:29 pm

Hi my bf of just over a year has vroken up with me. I almost saw it coming as he had started being distant, not texting that much but always very happy when we are togther. He has his own company and works in media so i know he was quite busy, but he always made time for me. Recently though when im upset with him or anything i realised he didnt care or make an effort. After ignoring my text mid convo i messaged him on the second day to say that was not on. He replied to apologise and say things have been really busy. I ignored him and he msgd me 2 days later to ask how i was i replied ‘does it matter’, he aaked again and i sent the same reply. That was the end of that convo, the next day i said it feel like he doesnt want to be in a relationship, he called me to say he doesnt think his lifestyle suits a relationship and hes sorry for wasting my time. He said its not me he just doesnt think hes a relationship person.

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