How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If HE Broke Up With You

1,328 thoughts on “He Broke Up With You And Now You Want Him Back”

kessy

November 21, 2013 at 6:44 pm

Hey chris,me again I have read the guides on how to get ex back and it is really a very good tip,you did a great job,kudos.tomorrow is my three weeks with the NC rule but like I said my friend broke the rule last week,so do you think I should continue the NC or start the first text tomorrow or wait till the end of the 30day.

admin

November 22, 2013 at 7:01 pm

No continue on.

Cristina

November 21, 2013 at 5:31 am

Is it works for long distance relationship?
I live in Brazil and he lives in Europe. We have been together almost two years. We had plans to move in together. My clothes are still at his house.
he broke up with me because I’m very jealous of him.

admin

November 21, 2013 at 7:27 pm

Why were you jealous?

And have you read my guide on long distance relationships?
Cristina

November 22, 2013 at 12:18 am

I do not know why
perhaps because our relationship is not normal . He is there and I here in Brazil .
He’s American , I do not know if it’s because of cultural differences.
Our last conversation was this :

He: Well I am sorry I was not here for you but I did send you a message . In typical fashion you have gone out with your friends . I am going to be gone for the rest of the weekend I am going to Skopje to celebrate my birthday . I hope you enjoyed your time with your friends . I really think I am done with all of this . I wish you nothing but the best with your life . Please do not call and send me messages I will not be answering anymore .

Me : I am a very kind, caring , understanding , responsible and I dedicated my time here with you believing in your words , I think I deserve to hear the truth you. I can not force you to love me the way I love you . And I do not want it , I deserve to be loved for real , I deserve someone who values me , I deserve someone who cares me , I deserve someone love me true , I deserve someone to listen to me before any hasty conclusion , I deserve hear the truth .
I want to have a real relationship , where two people are together for anything . I always thought that person would be you. But you’re showing me otherwise.
I just wish our relationship was over an adult way , as two people who have lived a story and then followed their lives . For that to happen I must know the truth .
If you met someone else there or if you do not love me enough or if you do not want to get involved in a relationship tells me . But, you can’t to finish our relationship blaming me for something I did not.
I hope you are adult and mature enough to understand what I ‘m asking .
Note that at no point in this e- mail I ‘m asking you to come back to me . I’m just asking you a reason for the end of our relationship .
I just want to be able to understand .

He: Cristina this is the only time I am going to respond . I am sorry about the que things have happened to you . You deserve an answer from the answer is que it was many things . Your jealousy , the controlling . The other night when I went with my friends to dinner and dinner only I came home to The Same thing as always ” I guess you dont want to talk to me” and several other messages . I then tried to message with no answer . I called you on the phone and all I got was ” you did not want to talk to me so I am going out with my friends” I asked where you were and you said the bar and you would be home at around 2100 and would call then hung up on me . This really upset me and I reflected on how things had been with the jealousy and other things and DECIDED it was time to end the relationship . I did not nor have not met anyone and I am not going to look anytime soon either . I have never lied to you and will not now . I really do wish you the best in life and I agree que you are a loving and caring person and the way deserve someone better then me . You deserve someone you can have normal life with and not the kind of life I am able to give you .

Me : I believe that this was all a misunderstanding.
As I told you before , I would be happy with you in any kind of life that you could offer me and I accept that.
Anyway I want to thank you for having answered me , and thank you for all the happy moments we compartilhamos.Obrigada for everything .
And remember that you are not alone . When you want to talk I will answer when I can.

After that I found your website and I don’t sent nothing to him anymore.
Please help me.
admin

November 22, 2013 at 7:27 pm

Are you preparing to undergo a NC period?
Cristina

November 22, 2013 at 8:00 pm

yes, we broke up Friday (15) and our last email was 18th. I have not sent anything since.
I think as we did everything together, eating, working, watching movies and we slept together every night on skype. I miss that. Were two years, with the exception of the months in which we were really together, sharing moments. I miss this things.
Thank you very much for your help!
admin

November 23, 2013 at 6:57 pm

Just keep in NC at this point.

I know its really hard when your routine gets shifted but right now you have to learn to be a little independent and not so dependent on him.

Kessy

November 19, 2013 at 7:11 pm

What guides do I follow as I have not completed the 30days NC rule just going into three weeks,what are you suggesting?

admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:13 pm

Well try this one first: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/

anonymouss

November 18, 2013 at 8:47 pm

hey chris!

I did about 5 weeks of NC and then messaged him saying that I was at a place that reminded me of him and a weekend that I drove up (about 10 hours) to visit him over the summer and met his whole family and that it made me smile. he response was neutral just saying that yeah it was a big weekend and that i met a lot of people. and i said “yeah it was a great weekend 🙂 and then told him i hoped he wasnt too stressed about exams and are well” (he is in med school and taking exams right now). then he said “it was 🙂 only a couple more tests to go. it’s nice to hear from you” all i said back was “nice to hear from you too.” that was a positive response right? was my last message too final and not positive or was it just ending the convo (by not leaving anything for him to say back)? anyways, how long should i wait to text again if he doesn’t text first? should i wait a week to send another text and say “i hope your exams went well!” or should i say something sooner? also, if before NC i had told him not to text/talk to me, does me making the first contact send the message that he is allowed to text me now if he wants to? (sorry there are so many questions!!!) thank you for all of your help!

admin

November 19, 2013 at 6:08 pm

Wait a week before you send anything else.

A little bit but I don’t think anyone takes that seriously when it was so emotional.
anonymouss

November 19, 2013 at 9:02 pm

okay thank you! so then i’ll just say that “i hope you did well on your exams” after a week.. Also one last thing, this is just a general question, way down the line i’m sure, when/how do we talk about what went wrong the first time in the relationship? (regardless of whether or not we are back together or just friends) Just because we may both have different ideas about why it ended..
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:25 pm

Well you don’t want to talk about it until you are seriously on good terms with him and he is comfortable talking about it.

kessy

November 18, 2013 at 7:24 pm

Hey Chris,I noticed he replied the message which my girlfriend sent to him with my phone and he sounded like he wanted more chat so I will do the one more week,then what next do I do?

admin

November 19, 2013 at 5:47 pm

Pretty much follow the guides or the E-Books advice.

Nikki

November 15, 2013 at 11:26 pm

Hi Chris,

My ex-boyfriend and I met a little over a month ago and it was a love at the first sight for both of us. Everything was going great, we had a great connection and loved each other endlessly. We met up everyday and spend a lot of time together. We talked about our future and thought we are each other’s better half. There were a lot of conversations about marriage, kids and starting a family. Everything was great until I screwed this whole thing up. With no intentions, I have made a sexual comment about my ex-boyfriend right after we had sex one night. His feelings were really hurt. He thought he couldn’t satisfy me and that I was comparing him to my ex. I know how he could take this a wrong way but the last thing I wanted was to hurt him and his feelings. after that night everything changed. we started arguing and he became so sensitive over pretty much anything. we talked about that night and I apologized and told him that I did not mean anything by that statement and he was the best I have ever had. He told me it’s stuck in the back of his mind and that was a big insult to his manhood. On Sunday while he was out of town, he texted and said we need to talk when he gets back so I said sure and I have a few things to talk to him about as well. He told me lets just skip to it and do it over text. I refused and said I’d rather do it in person. he insisted so I gave up. I started by apologizing again about what happened and told him how much he means to me. He told me he loves me with all his heart but this is the end of the road for us. Just like that! I was so shocked that he broke up with me via text. I asked him so many times to reconsider and that we should still meet up and talk about things but he refused and said there is no going back after tonight. I cried for 3 hours that night. I just couldn’t believe it. he told me we argue a lot and if we are meant to be together it’s not right now. the next morning I texted him and asked him if he meant everything he said the night before and he said he loves me but he’s sticking by his choice. I asked again if he wants to meet up and he said it’ll be too hard and he will be hurt. we haven’t talked ever since Monday.
is this it? is there hope for us? I know he is pretty hurt but if he really loves me as he says he does can’t he just forgive me and try to get passed this?! I don’t know what to do. I want to move on but I do love him. My friends are telling me that he needs time to get over things and he will come back but I just don’t know.
please advise . Thank you!

admin

November 16, 2013 at 9:19 pm

I think your friends are right. Go into NC and give him some time.

Kessy

November 15, 2013 at 9:52 pm

Hi Chris, me again I have been doing the NC for two weeks and while I chatted to a friend about the situation with me and my boyfriend behind my back she text him with my phone to ask him of his mum’s health.what do I do as she has broken the NC rule for me. What can I do?

admin

November 16, 2013 at 8:58 pm

Well, just add anothe rweek on. I think it will still be ok.

Bailey

November 15, 2013 at 8:10 pm

Hi there, my bf just broke up with me a month and a half ago. We were together for almost three years. We had a pretty good relationship where we barely ever fought and everything just seemed like it was going smoothly. He started to act distant a few days before he actually broke up with me. We talked in person and he have me an honest reasoning that he was pretty much “emotionally detatched” from everything and that he didn’t want to hurt me by continuing the relationship. Of course he mentioned also (typical) that he still wanted to remain close after. It’s been almost a month and half and we now text on occasion and have gone to dinner. Do you think he just wants to remain friends to be nice or is there any potential is getting back together? I notches he still has a picture of us in his car. I don’t know what that would mean. Maybe I’m
Reading too much Into it.

admin

November 16, 2013 at 8:36 pm

I think he does want to remain friends but mayb edeep donw he feels there is some potential.
Bailey

November 18, 2013 at 6:36 am

Is it annoying for ex gfs to try and mend things back with their ex bfs? I don’t want to be annoying. But I don’t want to be back at the “were just friends” because there definitely is still feelings revolving. It’s hard to be just friends with an ex you love. But at the same time I would rather that then not be friends or talk ever at all. Should I try and get things to work out? Not force it, but try harder? I know it’s not cute to be clingy, which I definitely am not. Is it true some guys have too much pride to admit they want their ex’s back?
admin

November 18, 2013 at 6:56 pm

Some guys do… well I think all guys do especifcally if they broke up wtih her.
Bailey

November 18, 2013 at 8:03 pm

It’s hard being just friends with an ex. When we text it’s always a normal convo like we used to have. But usually he’s the one that stops texting back. And when we hang out I usually initiate it first. He never hesitates to say yes and always agrees to hanging out. I know were broken up and I can’t expect too much I guess. It’s only been a month and a half. Should I just let time heal everything and see what happens down the road? Or just give up?
admin

November 19, 2013 at 6:01 pm

Let time heal it all you know.
Bailey

November 18, 2013 at 7:18 pm

Being just friends is hard. We text and will have normal conversations and then he will just stop texting. And when we hang out I usually initiate first, but he never hesi states to say yes to dinner or whatever. Should I just stop trying? Or just let time heal and see what happens later on. I mean, it’s only been a month and half since the break up I guess I shouldn’t expect too much right now.
admin

November 19, 2013 at 5:52 pm

Hey I think you are making progress. Don’t sell yourself short.

Viki

November 13, 2013 at 8:57 pm

Hi Chris! I need a good piece of advice. I few months ago I met a guy after my long-term relationships with another man (7 years!). My ex new bf was a bit younger (3-year age gap), but from what I felt and saw I can definitely say he was so into me that he even offered to move in with him after 1 month dating (actually I was the only one among his exes who was offered to live together). But suddenly evth went wrong. He had a conversation with his parents regarding his intentions, and it seemed to me they didn’t appreciate his choice. (In my country it is very imprtant for some people to have family blessing). But I saw how broken he was after “his” decision and we continued seeing each other for a while (having post break-up sex too) but not that often as we used to. Than he became really weird and stated ignoring me, no wonder why I turned into a TG. I know he was just another summer fling for me after long-term relations, moreover, he has many weak points which I don’t really like about him, he’s a bit childish and naive although he’s been very kind and attentive to me (needless to say he’s a God in a bed!). I tried to figure out what I really wanted from him then and why I actually need him so much right now, and… here I found your web-site! Tons of good tips, personal failures and visitors’ experience helped me to understand that I do want him back. But I am not quite sure about the legitimate reasons. I don’t know why I am applying that NC rule (1 week lready done)… Furthermore, I’ve got a few messages from him, phone calls and a kind of message-statement saying like “Sorry. I will not disturb you again” (that was the 5th day of NC), and so he disappeared too. I know he is visiting my facebook profile trying to find something new for him (because every single day I post quotes about my emotions, my state of mind (stupid girlish stuff, I think you understand what i am taling about…), and in most cases they are neutral but sometimes they sound like “I erased you from my life”, “I dont need you” and blah-blah-blah… I know that a great deal of ordinary men are bying that stuff as they are not capable to read between the lines. What should I do now? I think that the greatest fear is to be alone… again… I want my ex back but I’m not positive about my decision. Can I imagine him as my would-be husband? I am not ready to answer as we’ve been together only for about 1.5 months (I am counting days since our first date till the day he told me “we cannot be together anymore. we should break up” n.b. that was said without any kind of explanations!), while he thought that we spent togather 3 months and according to him those 3 months equaled 6 as he had so many beautiful things to experience and learn… Honestly, know it was partially my fault too as I often used to talk to my previous ex men, and by all means it made my new bf really mad and jealous! What should I do now? I guess I want to have a fresh start with him, but I don’t understand if it is just about having fun or something serious? Actually, I am lost in those “serious relationships” as I have been dating with a men for 7 years and it didn’t end up well.

admin

November 14, 2013 at 6:31 pm

Def NC seems like the smartest way to go here. What do you plan on doing during it?
Viki

November 14, 2013 at 8:37 pm

Well… I’ve read a lot of articles on your web site and having fun is the best option for me in this situation, at least I think so =). I’ve been working out for a long time (After my first break up I found out that doing regular physical exercises is a great stress reducer). I am planning to buy sexy lingerie (just to cheer up), as for me looking sexy begins with feeling sexy, and the only way I feel it is wearing tempting underwear. Another step – is a professional photoshoot (because I deleted all the photos I’d uploaded). I had lots of plans till today… Unfortunately, I had a chance to meet him in the street, we had a small talk, he asked me why I’d disappeared and if everything was ok. I tried to reply using yes-no strategy, but he was the one who closed conversation saying: ‘OK. I don’t want you to be late. Good to know you are fine’. And I walked away without saying good bye. Was it a bit stupid? What should I do now? NC? from the beginning? He ruined my plan!!!
admin

November 15, 2013 at 5:32 pm

I definitely think you are spot on!

No I don’t think it was stupid but I would have approached it a bit differently. NC just add a week or so on to it.

bernice

November 13, 2013 at 6:27 pm

My boyfriend of a year just broke up with me. He started acting weird a couple of months ago when i got a new job making more. I always gave him what he wanted if he needed anything. A couple of days ago I looked in his phone and I wasnt saved… strange I made a big deal and left his house. When i came back to talk to him about it we were cool… on sunday we got into it he went upstaira to take a shower. I decided to take his phone… I found strange text messages to girls I didnt know. So I threw his stuff out and told him to go home. I then checked his email and saw he was still in contact with a ex… (business issue) but he had never told me. I called him a blew up on monday. Tuesday I sat depressed thinking what have a done. He texted me to call him to talk about things… then he said this isnt where he wants to be he needs to focus… that there still might be hope but not now. That he cant give me the time I need. He said he cared… I just dont know what to do. Im stressed and confused. …

admin

November 14, 2013 at 6:02 pm

Have you done the NC rule yet?
bernice

November 15, 2013 at 12:44 am

Currently doing it. I started it yesterday after talking to him.
Kaleigh

November 16, 2013 at 11:56 am

We had been together for 15 months, totally infatuated by each other. He was always the more insecure, needy one if anything which gave me a sense of power I guess but I never abused it, it just made me feel more content and secure. 10 months into our relationship I fell pregnant, may I add that I’m 26 and he’s 21 – I’m aware of the age gap and the timing of pregnancy was all wrong… However, he begged me to keep it. So since then he has been taking about our new family we are going to have, how much he wants to marry me, I can clearly see the love in his eyes. The negative side of things… Since we have been pregnant (now 6 months pregnant) he has received nothing but negative things such as his job is slowing down as they don’t have much work for him, he’s trying to do his driving lessons so that he can move in with me and my family and commute to work (we live about 30 miles apart) also his family have told him he has until November to move out, his gran was put in hospital for a brain bleed, we have no money between us and his social life is slowly disappearing. I understand his stresses and I have tried to help, however the new hormonal me also needs security from him all of a sudden as I feel so insecure and scared so I’m quite demanding. We argue more and when we do it gets really out of hand… I even break up with him knowing he will beg me back for hours just so that I feel secure in physically seeing him want me! But this time we argued he didn’t beg… He agreed. He told me he is really unhappy and needs to be alone. He’s reaSsured me that he will always be there for the baby. I just can not believe he’s gone, I know he loves me I’m certain of it. I’ve been in contact a few times through feeling so emotional and needing to hear him say I want u back but his answer is still consistent. I’ve now deleted him
On Facebook and I am not going to contact him
In anyway at all because I know he needs space. Obviously we are going to need to talk about midwife appointments soon but I won’t be contacting him. I just want to know what on earth is going on!! How do u leave some one you love regardless of what’s happening!? I can’t imagine life without him. I want to know why he’s done this and I want to know if there’s a chance he will come back? I don’t want to hear the Disney version I need to know the real version of what’s happening so that I can either hold on or
Let go. I have a baby coming and need to be strong for when I become a mum. Help me please!
admin

November 16, 2013 at 10:28 pm

I think you should read this: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/get-your-boyfriend-back-if-you-have-a-child-together/
Kaleigh

November 20, 2013 at 2:54 pm

Thanks, that has helped. However, we don’t need to see each other for another 4 months until the baby is here so the NC rule does still apply, I have admittingly found reasons to text him though telling him what we need to buy and is he going to help etc etc which ended in a huge argument as I told him I didn’t want him there at the birth and then he broke my heart a little bit more and said ‘but I’m not going to be there for you, I moved on from you the moment I broke up with you. I’m going to be there for the baby’ obviously this upset me so we argued – great times! So now I have accepted to completely leave him well alone. Question; why 30 days of no contact? And… I’ve read up that I should show him when I eventually so see him that I do still care and want him back as this could make him believe I’ve moved on and so he will then most certainly move on? What’s your theory? When I do eventually see him or we have electronical contact, do I behave as though I’ve let go and moved on but be nice and short?
Or do I be honest and show that I am pining for him and need him? Haha sad I know but I’ve never been so in love and so terrified of becoming a single mother despite being surrounded by successful single parents. Thanks. Ps. And as for the sexy body thing… I don’t think I am
Capable of making my body look sexy right now so I’ve already lost that battle x
admin

November 20, 2013 at 6:05 pm

30 days NC b/c honestly I don’t think anyone else could do a 90 day NC or anything that extreme.

LaLa

November 12, 2013 at 5:49 pm

Please help me, i really need it.

Okay so I will try to make this as short as possible. Let me give you some background. This guy and I have been dating for three years. We were each others first real relationship and love. Before me, he was a player and didn’t care about girls, only wanted to just hook up. We both just graduated and I noticed things have been distant between us. Out of the blue after a fight he says he needs a break from us, I ended up breaking things off two days later because I didn’t want to wait around a month for him to decide if he wants to be with me. Long story short, a month went by and we met up. He said right now he can’t be in a relationship because he needs to focus on himself but he still wants me in his life and he can’t lose me and ideally he would want to be friends with benefits. He said he still is in love with me and does see himself marrying me and I know he’s not the type of guy to just say that and not mean it. Anyway,he said he hates the long distance and this wouldn’t have happened if we lived closer to each other. He still does want to see me and talk to me but he wanted to take a step back to get us back to good again. We had been fighting a lot and if we kept going I think it would have ended with us hating each other. I know he hasn’t ever cheated on me, and He does have a lot of family stuff going and he himself is just confused in general.

I told him how I felt when we met up and he understands and feels terrible for how things ended and doesn’t want to lose me. He said he’d do his best to never make me feel like that again. But, before I say this yes…I know it was wrong and I feel guilty but I did it and it’s done. I got a hold of his phone and saw text messages to his older brother about how he wants to have sex with all these girls, one of which is his ex girlfriend and how they should talk to girls when he’s home in Thanksgiving. He was saying how he wants it to be like it was in high school when he just did who ever he wanted. I even saw he texted his brother about our break and at the time we agreed we wouldn’t see anyone else. His brother goes how’s that gonna work, because this girl already likes you. And my ex goes oh you know I already texted her, wish her sister wasn’t being a cockblock last night (this was when we were still together). I know for a fact he wouldn’t have a ever cheated on me, I do believe that that was all talk because he tried to open up to his brother and he just did’t listen. I don’t know about the other girls because he is sitting here telling me that’s not why we broke up, and I believe him I do think we broke up because we weren’t happy and we want to be together again but at the same time he’s telling me it’s not something on his mind and its not something he thinks about. We even said we’d tell each other if we wanted to be with other people and if we hook up with other people. He also said that he couldn’t believe he was wifed up for three years and that it won’t ever happen again…I do think that as well was just him trying to seem like a big man to his brother because they always try to one up each other. Them talking about girls also started because the brother was bragging about who he’d been with.

I guess I am confused because he’s telling me one minute I was the best thing to ever happen to him and they were the greatest three years of his life, and he doesn’t want to lose me and does want to marry me but it seems like he does want to go hook up with other girls. Like his brother even called someone his girl in a text so obviously he’s been talking about her but I didn’t find any texts any girls except his friends. I guess do you think he’s lying to me or his brother? Because why keep me around? Just to wait until he’s ready for a commitement again because I think he does want to end up with me he just wants to do what he wants right now but maybe doesn’t want me to find anyone else. I don’t know what to do because I still love him and want to be with him and I know deep down he still loves me and does want to end up with me but do you think he will hook up with other people despite him telling me he doesn’t want to? We did agree on using condoms and I even said you should buy some for when you go home and he said I don’t need to buy any because I’m not planning on hooking up with anyone.

He is already planning on visiting in December but in those texts he sent he’ll probably hook up with someone during Thanksgiving. Why lie to me then?

I just don’t know what to do because I do love him and I know he loves me and wants to be with me in the end. He has a lot going on with his life and wanted some space to focus on himself but doesn’t want to lose me. I know he loves me and wants to be with me but why not now? I know he wanted to step back before things got worse and we screwed up any future for us.

I just, do you think he is playing me? Do you think he will realize he made a mistake and come back? I guess I am worried about him hooking up with other girls and don’t want him to forget about me.

Should I tell him what I found? Should I ask him why he even wants me in his life? Do you think he does love me or is just lying? I just don’t know what to do, please help.

admin

November 13, 2013 at 6:24 pm

Wow, a complicated question.

Umm first can I ask you what from this site you have done? NC?

Johan

November 12, 2013 at 2:59 am

Hey,

The reason I ended up on this page is because I can’t find myself to apologize to him. He was really romantic, it was more or less a summer fling because he had to travel constantly because of the army. He wrote to me everyday and I felt things were getting to serious and stopped replying. Even then he still visited me, I’ve never fallen in love and couldn’t found a way to tell him. I told him once and backed out of it as quick as I could, I freaked out. Long story short, he broke up with me, told me I had nothing to worry about. Because he never cheated and “plus, I don’t any distractions for my career.” I took it completely fine. But I knew deep down he hurt me, maybe the same way I did. I read his letters everyday for three years now, and now I see him everyday because his sister is my best friend. I just can’t find myself to tell him I pm sorry for the way I acted and even though he might hate a little, I still loved him very much.

admin

November 12, 2013 at 7:07 pm

Maybe you should just apologize to him though. I mean, if its best for you and how you are feeling I say go for it.

Steph

November 11, 2013 at 3:10 pm

Hi
Need some advice. Was with this guy for 6 months, everything was great and we both really liked each other. He went away in September and hasn’t come back since then, due to work (or so he says). We were in contact quite a bit until suddenly (after I suggested a skype chat) he texted saying he is too busy and can’t do this right now. I don’t know what changed but what is the best way forward for this if I want to get him back. I managed 10 days NC and emailed him just saying hi and how are things. I haven’t heard back (been 3 days) since which has upset me. Is he not interested anymore or have I got in touch too soon? Thanks

admin

November 11, 2013 at 7:00 pm

Maybe you got in touch too soon but still give him smore more time.

JC

November 8, 2013 at 1:08 pm

Hey Chris- I bought your ex boyfriend recovery book, but I didn’t read anything about what I need to do when he’s in ” LET’S DROP EVERYTHING.” mode. It was my fault that he broke up with me. When I was the one who messed it up and he got hurt, how NC will benefit both of us? Shouldn’t I apologize and be extra nice at least he’ll warm up a bit? Please help 🙁

admin

November 8, 2013 at 7:09 pm

Yes but you should do that after NC.
rosa

November 8, 2013 at 11:48 pm

chris I am so stupid. I txted him r u bz? he never replied I called and asked why he didnt respond to me while he was contacting others. he said why would I contact you? he said he felt sick ( working from 5am…) and will call back later. I txted him saying I txted him only cuz I need to pick up certain stuff from your house. he called back said hes on his way work now and if I need it right away. I said sorta. then asked him” I dont have you give u more time do I? it wont change a thing will it? he said we talked about it already and done. I dont think now is the time to talk about this again? I will call you after work.

is it over for good? should I just let him go? 🙁 I am torn into pieces really.
admin

November 10, 2013 at 12:24 am

No not over for good but you should wait till he calls.
JC

November 11, 2013 at 1:12 pm

Thanks so much Chris! I will wait 🙁
JC

November 12, 2013 at 7:32 pm

Hi Chris, my parents, my ex and I were supposed to go on a trip together for thanksgiving. My mom doesn’t want him to go if it’s not going to go anywhere for my reputation ( so I can move on and meet new people). He has to come over this weekend to fix some stuff at my parents house and my mom wants to talk to to him then ( my ex is still under my cell phone account ( I am paying), he’s using my name to save some money and he hasn’t changed the car title yet ( he bought it from my dad)) so we have alot of stuff to clean up. They want to ask if anything’s going on between him and I ( pretending not knowing that we broke up). and if he says it’s done, then we are going to clean up everything. He’s been dragging the marriage issue for more than a year too and he’s just too slow and he doesn’t open up at all ( past 3 years). He calls my mom up and they are in good relationship- he adores my mom. I think it’s the way to go. He said last Friady that he’s definitely over and we talked about it and it was done deal- but he would contact me later. What do you think?
admin

November 13, 2013 at 6:37 pm

Hmmm… I think maybe drop him for a while and hope he realizes what an amazing woman he is missing out on.
JC

November 14, 2013 at 6:15 pm

Yes sir 🙂 I haven’t contacted him since Friday 🙂 Thanks so much!! really really appreciate it 🙂
admin

November 15, 2013 at 5:15 pm

No problem, keep us all updated.
JC

November 8, 2013 at 8:00 pm

ok… I’ve been contacting and saying HI and stuff because he works 18+ hrs a day… my parents and he keep in contact ( he thinks my parents don’t know that we broke up). He came over to my house last sunday to eat dinner wtih us.It was so awkward! I will do NC and I hope I’ll have a courage to do that. Thank you!
admin

November 9, 2013 at 11:49 pm

You have the courage I know you do!

Nessa

November 8, 2013 at 11:19 am

Hi, thanks for your site. I have contacted you earlier too…6months ago my bf broke up with me. Went nc. He isn’t opening for me at all… Last weekend I bumped to him when we both were drunk. He almost cried and shoutet that he loves me and we talked alot… I thought we had it, but The next day he was just like a brick wall and told me heis over me… What can I do anymore..? Just leave him alone…??? Thank you!

admin

November 8, 2013 at 6:57 pm

How long have you been in NC again? I forgot.
Nessa

November 8, 2013 at 7:22 pm

1mnth. 2 times totally now…
Nessa

November 9, 2013 at 12:42 pm

We have had small contact all the way. He has a son I’d like too see… But last time we talked was a week ago after The drunken episode where he told me he loves me. After that he told me sober he has no feelings for me anymore. I don’t believe it thou. Anyways, I told him on sms I’m done now with this and I wish him well and he told me The same and apologised for what he said when drunk. I don’t know! Should I just move on??? (I kind of have, but I feel it’s with him I want a family…)
admin

November 10, 2013 at 1:10 am

Only if you feel like its best for you.
Nessa

November 11, 2013 at 1:05 pm

I don’t, but I feel I need to give some more time… And I have a feeling he is afraid to give in also bc I’m movin soon to France to finnish my studies… I thought, maybe I’ll contact him after I get back if things havent changed too much… Do you think it might be too late. It’ll be 1year since The break up then…
admin

November 11, 2013 at 6:49 pm

He is afraid fo the distance.

Christine

November 7, 2013 at 3:40 pm

Sooo, my boyfriend of 3 and half years broke up with me, while visiting me in Montréal (exchange of 3 and half months). He said he have had his doubts since I left, but was only sure after a weekend getaway to New York.
During his stay here, he treated me like he always did, however, I could tell something was wrong. He has always been a loving, caring and wonderful boyfriend. He knew (knows!) everything there is to know about me, and I the same about him. During our relationship together, we were happy. I was happy, and I can tell that he was too. He said that we had a complete, loving and wonderful relationship. His reason for breaking up is that he doesn’t love me anymore. Hard blow. I was (am) crushed. I have respected his decision, but I love him dearly. I would love to get back together with him, because we were so happy together. He was never afraid of talking about our future together, he treated me with all the respect he could, and we were very much in love.
He wants to stay friends, as he doesn’t want to lose me in his life, but I told him that I could not deal with that right now, as it would be a strained friendship, with me loving him, and him .. well, not returning my feelings.
But what should I do? I have given him space, I haven’t freaked out or written an angry message to him, I have been honest, he knows how I feel, and I have respected his decision. But it’s just not enough for me..

admin

November 7, 2013 at 6:41 pm

Start with the NC rule. Usually you want to do this for 30 days.

rory

November 7, 2013 at 2:05 am

After implementing NC, my ex called twice one day. I ignored both, then a few days later she sent a message asking if I hate her and saying she doesn’t want me to hate her.

Do you think NC is working? Based on the message it seems more like she just feels guilty rather than misses me.

admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:53 pm

It obviously is if she is calling you that much.
Rory

November 8, 2013 at 1:54 am

Chris I made the biggest mistake.
He sent me a text saying please talk to me one last time and then I’ll leave you alone..I fell for it and called back.

During the conversation he kept saying he doesn’t want me to hate him and wants me to cherish the memories because he always will. He seemed to be very worried about whether he looks bad in my eyes or not. He also said he understands that I need time to get over him but whenever I’m ready he hopes we can be friends because it would be hard for him to drop me out of his life completely. I assured him I don’t hate him and not to worry.

Then he tried to gauge how depressed I am – he asked if I’m okay, asked if I told my family about it, etc. When I acted like I’m fine he was shocked and kept asking what my thoughts are.

Then I changed the topic and we spoke about other things. He spoke about some personal problems he was going through and I helped him feel better (I thought if we bonded he would feel closer to me).

Then we hung up, and I realized I screwed up by giving him too much confidence, so I called back. I told him I wasn’t completely honest and I don’t see him the same anymore after what happened. He said he understands but just wants me to remember the good times. THEN I asked about giving it another chance .. I said that since things went sour because we’ve been apart, does he think we could make it better by seeing each other more. He paused for a long time and said he needs time to think about that. Then we said good night, he said thanks for the call, I said sure, bye.

I KNOW I wasn’t supposed to break NC I know I know I feel so guilty. I’m going back to NC again, but I just wanted to get your thoughts on how badly this set me back?? And also based on what was said do you have any idea what he feels about getting back/if there’s hope in his mind.
admin

November 8, 2013 at 6:35 pm

Not horribly but still a little bit.

emie

November 6, 2013 at 7:55 pm

Hey Chris

My bf up with me 3 weeks ago. It was long distance he lived in Chester and I live in Birmingham. It was only to 2hrs away.we meet in a night club at his mates stag, we hit it off straight away I went to his mates wedding and stayed over and so weekends when he wasn’t busy.every time I was with him we loved each other’s company and had everyrhing in common, after a month he told me he loved me, and told me never to hurt him cause he would cry and be heartbroken with out me,we text each other everyday from the morning till night when was together we made each moment count. we then started planning our future together. 3 weeks ago told me I wouldn’t be seeing him till after Xmas as he was busy with work and had son come round for some weekend, I was shocked and upset but was fine with it. My mate then came round to keep me company. Rob then asked why I suffer with depression, witch he already I had but was fine with it. Asked my mate if I abound and he said yes so then I did. Got him to prove read what I put cause I was still whacking from the news I had in the day. With out realising he had changed my text and added things. After 2hrs he text me back and said this is where he gets off.the things above made me hugel uncomfortable and hopes u can find someone who can make me truly happy with less responsibilites I’m sorry…after I noticed what my mate had put he added I had 4 fwb if u no what that is witch is a lie..after a week I text him and told him what had happened he was fine with it, but with out knowing when I was in hospital my failmy text him behind my back. After he said he did love and care about me but his mind is made up I’m sorry, tjeres no turning back the clock the damage has been done and the whole episode has changed how he feels..I then read ur page and realised it was to soon to text him as it had only been a week and had a lot to take in..and that I should have done the ncr…and I shouldn’t have begged him back but even still when I did text always answered me…but I was woundering if you could give me any advice and help me…many thanks emie

admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:24 pm

Hi There, have you seen my LDR guide?
emie

November 7, 2013 at 5:53 pm

Hey!I hope so! Been 3 weeks of hell lol, I started reading on it yesterday but can’t for the life of find it today.
admin

November 8, 2013 at 5:36 pm

Sorry, reading what yesterday? I completely lost the context of our conversation.
emie

November 8, 2013 at 6:37 pm

Lol you asked me if I have read ur LRD Hide and I have…I have wrote my first contact message about the memories, as it’s only over a week to go. But I don’t no if I have put to much detail in it…also don’t no if I should thrown in an apology, as I was real hursh when he told me that I wouldn’t be seeing him till after Xmas. What do u thinkx should I?
admin

November 9, 2013 at 11:44 pm

Do you mind telling me what your text said?
emie

November 17, 2013 at 11:53 pm

I’ve just read the how to make hin fall bk in love with u guide! First may I say love the fact your a big Buffy nurd like me lol as u was explaining all the episodes knew witch ones u meant as number to always gets me going. Literally thought I was the only one that watched the whole box set every year. Anways ivebread that and was wounding if to do the memories for me text like u explained we have had so many good ones, like u explained. Know that he loved them to as when we was apart keept telling me how much he missed them little things and that he would love nothing more then to be doing them with me. As he is a very emotional and soopy male…what do u think?
admin

November 18, 2013 at 6:14 pm

Buffy is like old faithful to me. I cherish watching it every year.

I literally just finished watching the entire series and I have to say this year it was season 6 that really got to me. I wonder if I may be getting darker… hmm… oh well haha.

I think there is something worth fighting for there defintely.
emie

November 26, 2013 at 8:42 pm

It really was a lovely season! I will do have to more then ever now! But wait bk on and now been diganosed with anxiety and told to have counselling, went thought a lot before I meet rob, so losing him hit me bad! Was lovely talking to you and the Buffy chats lol. And thank you for you help
admin

November 27, 2013 at 7:17 pm

Hey just know you always have a friend here :). Feel free to keep coming back and picking my brain or talking to me about Buffy. I always look forward to yoru comments.
emie

November 20, 2013 at 6:14 pm

Very true so good tho! There is one really good epsiode in angle when Buffy goes over to angle and he becomes human (I will remember) I think that’s what it’s called anyways. Always brings a great to my eye lol….hahah lmao probably are funny tho,probably nice for you tho to have a chat of something else you also enjoy

Thank you! Do think that message is ok then?
emie

November 21, 2013 at 6:24 pm

I know right love having nured conbertions especially Buffy ones!! It so is it’s one of the most lovelys episodes as theres hope! And then like u said ok maybe not kind of think…big Buffy and spike fan all the way…spike proved how much he loved and was so lovely and when shed died saw how much he cared for…hopeless romantic me myself and he proved it and omg at the when Buffy said she loved him made me cry lol.
admin

November 22, 2013 at 7:00 pm

See, I was a spike fan from the beginning. I found it delightful when he teamed up with buffy at the end of season 2 and how he fought so hard to protect dawns identity from Glory after she was torturing him but my favortie moment was when Buffy took on that uber vamp from season 7 and rescued spike from the first.

Oh, and that speech spike gave her in season 7 after everyone kicked her out of the house… pretty good stuff.
admin

November 21, 2013 at 5:56 pm

Thats the best Angel episode. It’s my favorite one because its like YAY they can be together “BUT WAIT… LETS PULL THEM APART AGAIN”

Gotta say I am a more spike and buffy fan though. I mean, sure Angel loves her and all but Spike literally went and got his soul for her… you tell me who cares more about her..

OMG!! This is the gayest conversation ever.

I think your message is ok.
emie

November 18, 2013 at 7:10 pm

Same here, gets to the point where you have watched them so many times you no them of by heart…but always see something new…totally agree much darker series with willow turning a meaga bad ass and Gillies! Love it…the last season does it for me the end with ffy and spike…OMG tears lol

Will defo be thinking about my message and enter so meiomes to get to his soopy side as the romantic he is…happy say also a Buffy fan lol
emie

November 24, 2013 at 12:20 pm

Omg amazing episode! The speach he gives her on the bed was perfact…hopeless romantic my self, when he just lies there with her holding so sweet!! But yeah total agree spike is the best!!

Well sent my message and never heard back :'( and that was friday! So I’m going have to face facts he is moving on like he said.I’m just going to leave him till Christmas eve maybe. Can’t take the pain of not getting an answer back again. Maybe in time I will here back when Xmas is over.
admin

November 24, 2013 at 8:12 pm

Very good episode. Season 7 was centered around spike a lot and I loved that. Though he is my favorite character sooo…

Well in the meantime just do things for YOU right now.
emie

November 19, 2013 at 8:58 pm

Lol think I have actually watched them all more then that. Some years I have wacthed the hole lot twice in the same year! Lol…that is really funny how that happens tho I was the same loved number 2 and couldn’t get enough of it. But as I got old think that is when the dark side comes out lmao…faith is one of my fav was ever joyed when she came back in last serious… But love spike!!!! Named one of my pets after him so sad when he burnt

This message is what I’ll be sending Friday finally nerally there! It’s been killing me lol hope it’s ok,Now Christmas is getting closer got me thinking of you! first time for a bit. your probably getting all excited like a big kid! Putting my tree up soon! witch reminded me u telling me about Ur real one at ur parents..watched the lone ranger again, still crackers! as u would say and still is. But made me smile! Do you remember how we was trying to work out the film? I was trying to explain it while u was cooking us bacon butties with 2 bacons lol. you couldn’t get over why he had a dead brid on his head? I remember us just curled up on your sofa for hours! how CLOSE we felt, just holding each other, how HAPPY and safe I felt in ur arms daydreaming away. Remember the day we meet and what u said after? I really am sorry for all them texts after.

wish me luck lol….nervous as hell incase I don’t hear back tho.
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:24 pm

Oh god I hated faith when I was younger… but now.. I really like her story arc. Especially when she comes over to Angel and has to capture angelus… (people are reading this and thinking what the hell are they talking about haha.)

Good luck!
admin

November 19, 2013 at 5:50 pm

I must have watched all the episodes 10 times (except that episode on the doublemeat palace. But I rewatched it and it wasn’t half bad.)

Dark willow is SOOO AWESOME. And I actaully liked season 7 so much. I really like spike in it. When I was younger season 2 used to be my favorite but now that I am older season 6 and 7 speak more to me. Funny how that happened.

BUFFY FAN WOOT WOOT!
emie

November 11, 2013 at 1:41 pm

No don’t mind but reading bk at it think ive blown all chances,as I was really angry and hurt after he ended it.Why the hell have I been begging for u bk! I’ve done nothing wrong, for u to even judge me and do that. Past is past and me to only have 3 guys in mine is nothing 4 my age.Yours was probably worse telling me off for drinking with u having a son u drink way more then me,when u have a son!Just goes didn’t really love me!Been told in the last few weeks how beautiful I am, sweet, loving and have the biggest heart and ur lose for letting me go u must be crary. An ur not worth it so sorry to say I have to agree your not.I haven’t done nothing if u can’t just loved me for who I was with u then u didn’t care.sorry I wasn’t perfect for u. All this been said I still love n miss u!Bye rob hope u have a nice life take care of yourself x
admin

November 11, 2013 at 6:53 pm

Well… you seem angry hahahahahah
emie

November 11, 2013 at 9:11 pm

Lol I really was! That was a week after had to get it of my chest but regretted after as he was always nice to me, even when it ended saying how sorry he was and for hurting me. but my mates said they would of done the same….do u think I have blown it? My family have told me to wait till Xmas eve and sending him a merry christmas message what do u think?
emie

November 17, 2013 at 3:34 pm

good! thanks i hope so… ive changed the beginning of the message as im going to wait till next week to send the message and his exam will be over then. so now its: now Christmas is getting closer got me thinking of u! first time for a while! your probably all excited like a big kid,rushing around. kept the end as the same about the film… do u think that is ok?
admin

November 17, 2013 at 9:06 pm

I think its still too emotional. Just try to be more general.
emie

November 14, 2013 at 9:31 pm

Ok I have thrown in a memoire. But don’t like to do to much can when he ended I pretty much done that so was thinking this:Good luck with your exam! Really do hope you pass! I know u must be nervous, as it very important for you to pass. I have just watched the lone ranger again made me think of u for the first time in a while, made me smile and laugh! Remember how we both was trying work out the film, me trying to explain it while u was cooking bacon butties with 2 bacons lol? you couldn’t get over why he had a dead brid on his head not for getting the scary rabbits? can’t look at them in the same way now x
admin

November 15, 2013 at 5:45 pm

I think that may have a chance.
emie

November 14, 2013 at 11:50 am

I was thinking of sending this Hey! I know ur busy and the timing was rubbish for us as it was a bad time for u….But Good luck with your exam! I know u must be nervous, really do hope you pass! cause I know how important it is for you. X
admin

November 14, 2013 at 7:53 pm

I would go with a different message honestly.
emie

November 13, 2013 at 8:14 pm

Hey yeah I have read it and has bit my mind at reast for a bit, as I know he his stubborn when he said his minds made up and no Turing bk the clock as then it was and angry…also maybe afriad to get in touch after my message and knowing he was hurt in the past! His got an exam next week so for my first message was wounding if wishing him good luck with exam would be ok?
admin

November 14, 2013 at 6:19 pm

Maybe but do you really think that is gonig to yield a positive response? I mean the best he can say is “thanks.”
emie

November 12, 2013 at 7:12 pm

Thank god!Should I be woired that I haven’t heard bk? Im just scared that if I do contact him again I will push him away more after all the text. before that text he said his mind was made up. Haven’t got a glue what to text him know his studying for an exam
admin

November 13, 2013 at 6:30 pm

No it can be normal. Have you read my guide on this? The male mind in NC one?
admin

November 12, 2013 at 6:43 pm

No you haven’t blown it. I think you should try contacting him earlier than christmas eve.
emie

November 8, 2013 at 6:40 pm

The message I was thinking of sending:Was at the safari park with my mate and reminded me of our first time together! how we was both surprised we wasn’t nervous,but that been said u did have a few before I got there lol. Do you remember me tripping up the stairs? Kept holding my hand up and down them all night after that. Didn’t trust me doing it myself lmao,an the sneak photo of us kissing? u do pull of pink lipstick really well! Then the journey bk when I got us lost lol! U was so sweet about it..Was a beautiful wedding and an amazing nite!
admin

November 9, 2013 at 11:48 pm

Wow thats a really nice text but if you are just initially going to reach out to him I say this is a little too emotional and elaborate.
emie

November 7, 2013 at 11:07 pm

I’ve read the LDR guid and have wrote out my message ready as it’s only over a week to go but I don’t know if I have thrown in to much details?
admin

November 8, 2013 at 6:16 pm

Where is the message?
emie

November 6, 2013 at 8:58 pm

I’ve never felt so close to a man before, loved him with all my heart, and miss him so much, within a month told me I was his soul mate an search was over and was already planning our wedding day.He is 8 yrs older then me has he is 34. So s he is older then me I know hounding and begging bk was I mistake and probably pushed him father away!
admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:30 pm

Well luckily you can work on improving your chances.

Caroline

November 5, 2013 at 2:47 pm

I have some questions… I am ver confused and hurt at the moment…Me and my now ex had been dating for about 2 years. Like everyone we’ve had our ups and downs and have worked on many things to make it better. Unfortunately a week ago, I gave him a call and was telling him about something that was bothering me in a personal matter, I never said I was blamming him but he exploded in anger and said that I was blamming it all on him… and I never did! I hung up the phone because I was so angry at his reaction and I didnt want to argue. He started texting, we kept arguing and at that point I made a stupid comment and hurt him. The next day I went over his house to talk and to say that I was sorry… I hugged him but he wouldn’t even look at me, he didn’t even atleast return the hug, so I left. I tried talking to him for the next couple ofdays, I came over… Itold him I missed him, I told him I was sorry but he was acting like nothing. Finally on Saturday night he started texting me saying how angry he was, confused, hurt and full of doubts that at the moment he wasnt sure if what he was doing was the right thing but he wanted to be with just himself. He said that I had changed many things, attitudes in a good way but that the ones he wanted me to change were still there and that he didn’t see the day where things got better.I tried talking to, I told him that I was sorry, that I knew I had things that I still needed to work on and thst they required time and I was working very hard on them… He said nothing would make him change his mind… I told him that I would respect his desicion and accelt what Idid wrong and I would not bother him anymore… It has been very painful for me and it’s going to be even worse when he decides to take our dog…I have not talked to him nor tried to contact him for 2 days now… no word from him either…I just dont know what to do… I can’t think with a clear mind… I just need some advise…

admin

November 5, 2013 at 6:36 pm

Hav eyou implemented NC yet?
Caroline

November 5, 2013 at 8:22 pm

I am currently trying as hard as I can to do so. I’ve been keeping my self busy on other things but every now and then I get the urge to text or call… and at times its seemed impossible but I am able to control it and just let it be.

Is my situation helpless?
admin

November 6, 2013 at 4:53 pm

No you are just kind of emotionally out there right now. Try to be calm about things.

muller

November 4, 2013 at 5:42 am

Hi I just broke up with my bf of one year as he is upset that i stay at my guy friend house after we fight. He got so drunk on our anniversary and out of controlled and insulted me inside the car. I forgive his act the next day but He called it off after he found out I stayed at guy friend house.

Do you think I will ever have a chance to get back together?

admin

November 4, 2013 at 5:48 pm

Sure, are you using Nc?
muller

November 7, 2013 at 10:41 am

Hi Chris,

I broke the NC rule. This is actually weird, he respond to me everytime I contact him. Anyway, I have stopped and start apply NC rule. Actually we met once before I flying out the country, I have left my work stuff at his place so he came and passed them to me. When we met, we caught into fight again, he keep telling me how hurt he is. He not treating me as a gf but a future wife and family. He even called my guy friend and ask again if we ever slept together.

After that, he said he will see me again when I back from work and he will pass me my anniversary gift as he doesnt feel fair that I havent received mine but he has got his.

I got really confused his act.
admin

November 7, 2013 at 6:27 pm

He likes you… its as simple as that.
muller

November 8, 2013 at 12:23 am

He text me on facebook, he seen me delete all the pictures with him, he asked me to ask myself a question: if I dont want to continue too. Should I reply?
admin

November 8, 2013 at 6:19 pm

I don’t get his question at all. Could you explain it to me?
muller

November 9, 2013 at 12:58 am

Hi Chris,

He is very upset me being happy and active on facebook and he seen me deleted all our pictures, he asked me : actually you dont wanna to be with me anymore too, right?

He is very weird. He copy everything from my hardisk and argued with me a picture I took with a guy years ago when I was in Rome. And said we will meet again when I am back from the trip.

Later on I got so mad, I said to him stop blaming on me and I dont take any responsibility of his misbehavior. He started act sorry but I can actually feel he is not. I dont get what is his intention.
admin

November 10, 2013 at 12:29 am

Well you do want to be with him right? Maybe he is missing you.
muller

November 10, 2013 at 12:35 am

Hi Chris, Please let me know what I should do now. Thank you
admin

November 10, 2013 at 9:42 pm

What specifically do you need help with? What you should do regarding what?

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