How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back if HE Cheated On You- Advice & Help

1,053 thoughts on “He Cheated On You And You Want Him Back… What Do You Do?”

Cindy

September 27, 2013 at 2:34 pm

If the breakup happened, an awful argument insued and a lot of hurtful words spoken, should I offer an apology before the no contact period for my own conscience sake?

admin

September 28, 2013 at 3:03 am

I don’t think it can hurt!
Cindy

September 27, 2013 at 2:43 pm

One other question… I have read so much about narcissism… how do we really know if someone is that way, or if they are just responding to our inappropriate behaviour on our part and/or boredom on theirs that you speak about in your book? I am trying to be ever so careful to not be pointing an unreasonable finger here.

Thanks so much.
admin

September 28, 2013 at 3:05 am

I think if someone always plays the victim or if someone is deliusonal about the fact that part of the relationship failing is their fault you may be a little narcissitic.

But I do also think that everyone has a little narcissism in them.

Jenny

September 27, 2013 at 2:13 pm

Hi, I hope you can help. A few weeks ago I found out my long distance boyfriend of four years had cheated. He admitted it to me. I made the mistake of agreeing to meet him to talk the following weekend. I was unable to control my emotions and I think I made things worse. I finished with him. The following weekend, I traveled abroad to where he lives to collect my things, again I think I made things worse, pushes him away by being over emotional. We then took a few days to ourselves to figure out what we wanted. He then told me he doesn’t love me anymore and that after he has cheated he doesn’t feel like he wants to be with me. I am destroyed. All I want is to have home back. I have started the no contact an am 10 days in but I am worried that my actions imediatly after the cheating and break up have destroyed any chance of getting him back. Please tell me what to do… Are the any differences for long distance relationships? Is there any chance?

Thanks
Jenny

admin

September 28, 2013 at 3:01 am

Before you do anything you have to read this: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-complete-guide-to-getting-an-ex-boyfriend-back-in-a-long-distance-relationship/
Jenny

September 28, 2013 at 11:33 pm

Hi,

Thank you so much for your reply, I have read it and it all makes total sense. I haven’t heard from him yet but I’m feeling a lot better in myself. I can see the mistakes I have made and am starting to feel like myself again but I am still yerning for him and am worried that I’ve not heard anything from him yet. I will continue with the no contact but is there anything else I should do in conjunction?
admin

September 30, 2013 at 12:29 am

Yes, become better from this breakup. Don’t be afraid to do things that will make you a better human being. During NC this will keep you sane.
Jenny

October 2, 2013 at 1:04 pm

Sorry this isn’t in the correct order but I couldn’t reply to your final post. Yes, I think it was the email… It’s set me off to thinking about him every second, all day again…
Jenny

October 1, 2013 at 1:10 pm

Hi,

Thanks for your advice so far…. Yesterday I received an email from him and now I’m really struggling. Up until today, I was feeling stronger and better about myself but today I am filled with a sense of panic again, worrying about what he is doing, if he’s with another women and struggling to get my head around what happen to the relationship. Up until now, I have been focusing on myself and improving myself but today I feel like I’m back to square one… Please help.
admin

October 2, 2013 at 12:37 am

It is pretty normal for this to happen. You usually go through phases like this.

What caused you to feel like you were in square one? The email?

Vicky

September 26, 2013 at 10:29 pm

My bf broke up with me 2 months ago and a week after her left he hooked up with a much older woman. I left the state for financial reasons and now we are across the country from each other. He moved in with the new woman but calls me and texts me all the time. He says he misses me and he loves me a lot but is just “not in love with me” I recently told him I wanted a break from talking to him and he didn’t contact me for about 2 weeks but he just called me two days ago and again told me he missed me, it was nice to talk to me and he loves me just not in love blah blah. I love him. Is there still hope? Should I try NC cold turkey? What should I do?

admin

September 27, 2013 at 6:14 am

Yes I think NC is the smartest way to go here.

Kay

September 25, 2013 at 10:42 pm

I am currently in a sad situation. I have been with this man for 19years, we have three kids 18, 17 and 8. We just move to Florida, he just got this job as a security officer at this big hotel. Only to find out that he his having affair with his co-worker. I called his female co-worker and she admitted to the relationship but until now he denied it. I guess because she is much older woman.
I went and check our telephone bill and found out that their were one more woman he was texting and calling 24 hours aday. The thing is that they know about me because he told them that we are not together. They bitches are so stupid because the phone is in my name and so when he called them my name appear on the caller id, why would I let him have the phone if we were not together.
He broke my heart because these bitches knew too much about me and I did not ever aware of them. I am caught in between a rock and a hard place, because I do not know if I could ever forgive him. My daugther -18 telling me that he need to go hell, but some part of me is still holding on. I guess is because all my memories is with this one man, we met when I was 16 years old and he was 18 years. I got pregnant 1 years after.
What do you think I should do because I am really angry at this time.

Thank you

admin

September 26, 2013 at 3:31 am

Wow… I am so sorry to hear this.

Are you ok?

I think the best way forward for you is to figure out what your game plan is. Do you want him back or do you just want to move on? Were the two of you married?

Jean

September 25, 2013 at 12:57 pm

Hi, Chris
Your website is so useful, I wish I could find this one a little bit early, my ex bf was my classmates for 4 years, he is a very good friend of mine in this 4 years college life. He was dating with my flatmate when we were studying (I introduced them to meet). The girl had went back to her home country after their 1 year relationship, then they had a long-distance relationship for another year, last year this time, i broken up with my previous bf, and he was be with me to help me to recovery, and one day he said that he would love to be with me, and he mentioned the long distance relationship with that girl will never work, and he showed me the message that to confirm they had broken up.
He said that because that girl will never want to come to here, always asking him to go there. He has been there 3 times already. So we were together since last year Halloween, it was a tough year for me, I was studying my master of biomedical Engineering, he was there with me to help me, we really had a good time, this year may, i finished my studying and achieved first class, I really appreciate everything he did for me in the past year. But since then he didn’t contact to me too often, he said that he was busy with his working. But his ex, which was my ex flatmate, published a photo on fb, said that “it was so wonderful to be with you (my exbf’s name) for 1000 days, i love you so much and thank you” , this was a breaking news to me. I went his home, ask about his explanation, he said no, ” how can i be with her, she is not here? blah..” then he deleted the status, after 2 weeks, this girl published same thing again, then I asked him to delete, he did in front of me, until this girl contacted me on fb, said that they never had a breakup, calling me bitch everything badly. Obviously, my ex is cheating me and this girl at the same time, one night i was waiting in his home, this girl rang him 60 times, texted him 40 msgs. but that night he didn’t come back, the next day he was a bit rude to me, he didn’t say anything, asking me to leave and he wants to be alone. After that day, he blocked me on facebook, and that girl wrote me on facebook calling me bitch again, say what i said was lie. He told the girl that i was trying to seduce him a few weeks ago when he was drunk. The silly girl just believe everything he said not me. I don’t hate him, even he said a lot of bad words about me, I don’t hate me, I just can’t believe that he cut off our 6 years friendship. I always think no man in this word can know me better than him. I do want to have a future with him before. I haven’t contacted me for 3 weeks, this is because i am trying to get a better job, and i got it. This girl still writing awful thing on my facebook, i start to leave her alone, I do have evidence to prove that he tells the lie, should i show this girl or not? I have to say i still love this awful guy, I don’t believe this is the one I knew for so many years. Please give me some advice. thanks

admin

September 26, 2013 at 2:58 am

I wouldn’t make a big stink about it and play the he said she said game. You have proof so if you ever need a trump card it is there.

But I have a question for you. Do you need help? What is your end goal? Is there anything I can do for you?

Glyn Marie

September 20, 2013 at 2:52 pm

My ex broke me for almost 74 days, but im still hoping he will come back..even I knew that he has already have a gf..I still email or message him thru chat ..he response but once only after he ask and I replied he never replied me anymore… I tried to cut my communication with him, I decided to deactivate my FB account , everytime I saw them in FB it hurts me alot..he give me a lot of reason why he broke up with me then I found out that he courting w/ his office mate and after 3 months they been together..Do you think he will come back again to love me?

admin

September 20, 2013 at 9:24 pm

The question I think is “do you want him back?”

Michelle Kee

September 20, 2013 at 1:27 pm

Dear Chris,

Hi, how are you? I love your article, but I’m not sure if my story will fits here, I am desperate needing some help! My bf and I are from Hong Kong. We were friends back then, but we lost contact after I immigrated to the states and. 5 years ago we reconnected again and he was going to college in Midwest. I visited him during the summer of 2008 and quickly we fall in love and start going out. We both had a bf/and gf back than, but we broke up with them after we start going out.

Throughout the years he’s been supportive and good to me. He proposed on 2009, I said yes. When he graduated in 2010 he moved to New York with me and we co-habitation ever since then. I was never financially stable, I accumulate a lot of credit card debts on his name. He wanted to walk away for a few times since he can’t get his dream job and is hard for international student to find a job anyway, therefore he took up a sales job that he hate. With all of our financial burden, I was a student and he’s working on a low paying job, he wanted to breakup for so many times. Every time he stays.

His entire family from HK dislike me, because he stay in New York because of me. For the past few years I took him for granted. He bought a car so is easier for him to go to work and he can take me to college since my Public transportation will takes 2 hours to commute in a daily basic. But I never finish college, I still have 2 classes left. I ended up working full time before I finished school, because my family can’t pay for my rent anymore and I need money to survive and paid off our credit card debts.

Last year I married him and sponsor him the green card so he can stay in the us and keep his job, although I made it clear that it wasn’t a real marriage, I still need a wedding ceremony one day. But he wasn’t trilled about the whole marriage and green card things too.

This year he went home to visit for 3 weeks, he’s been begging me to go home with him to visit HK but I refuse to go with him because I need to work. He was gone for 3 weeks. During the 3 weeks periods a lot of things happened, he wanted to breakup with me badly and wanted to move out from our apartment. He even said he love kids and he don’t think he can raise one with me. That was different that what he used to tell me, I dislike kids, and he used to say he hates kids too and doesn’t want any children in the future, but he claims that he only said that because he loved me and he changed a lot for me.

Long story short, he came back to New York, I returned my engagement ring to him and I managed to made him stay. He wanted to walk out from my life, but it was coincidence that I had a minor surgery that need to performed in June, and he stayed. The surgery I had are mostly destroy my chance of being pregnant, that’s what I’ve been telling him. Although half of it was true and the other half is I don’t want kids. Anyway he still pissed at me of how I’m not finishing school and accumulate a high credit card debts and hurt his credit score. After surgery he stayed, but later on when we fought, he said the reason he still here because he pity me and worries my whereabouts if he leave me during that period of time.

I wrote some letter and I made him stay again. Only time time he said he want to give out relationship a second try. Things seems like going on pretty well, we went on his company trip, we still have sex and we hang out and dine out. Just last week, we had another quarrel, he thinks I should be appreciated him when he still here because he can take off anytime, and he also told me that he loved me and getting his head back to the relationship but just doesn’t want to get married yet. I was cool with that until 5 days ago I discovered he’s been courting a girl he never met back home in Hong Kong. The conversation started at June 25 and he’s told her that he and he ex(me) broke up a year ago, he bad mouth about his ex and said how she spent all his money and accumulate a high credit card debts, he told that girl that he wanted to gave up his green Card and moved back home. Later on he also told the girl that he went on his company trip alone but he allow to bring a gf, if she was in us that time he could bring her.

We went to saw a luxury condo few weeks ago but we couldn’t afford it yo rent it yet, then my bf told me we should start saving and make this our goal so we can move there next year. I discovered he told that girl that he’s moving out to a better place next year and he won’t have a housemate by then. He’s been asking the girl out and wanted to buy her stuff, the girl is till enjoying the courting stage. He told her to accept his love and ask the girl to come to us, if she doesn’t like it, he will have to wait for another year for his green card to become permanent than they can go where ever they wanted to go. I am so heartbroken. I saw all these!

I don’t know what to do. Their conversation ended on September 15th and I found out about this on the 16th, I know she’s been texting him as well. My bf treated me well for this 2 weeks, especially this week. We had sex almost everyday but it was different that our past, I don’t remember when was the last time we had passionate sex and kissing since years ago, but we are having that lately. He knew something is wrong with me. Yesterday when I was making lunch he hugged me from my back and whispered to my ear and told me “I love you”, I burst out to tears right away. I freaked him out and he’s been worry about it and texted me from work, but I told him I was just touched, that’s all. I cried because I was touch and at the same time I don’t know how long does this moment will last. I told my BFF about this, they said I should divorce him and his green card will be gone, but I don’t know what to do, I love him so much, yesterday I asked him where’s out relationship stand, he said were bf and gf but he doesn’t want to get married yet. We also had the moment of looking into each other eyes, I asked if he kept any secret from me, he said no. I’ve been ignoring him somehow these few days, and he started to clingy in me and want attention. When I used to clingy on him, he would think is too much for him to take, now is the opposite. I really wanted to ask him who is that girl, but I can’t bear to ask. We shared the same APT, we literally have a life here together. When we moved into this place, we thought we will stay with each other forever, we have a dog and 2 guinea pigs, I don’t know what to do, I don’t have money to move out and frankly I am enjoying our moment together, although my tears will drop when I look back to the his message and when he kisses me or hug me.

My guts is telling me that he still have feelings for me, but not as deep as he used to have for me, at the same thing he’s not a man who would waste his time talking to someone on daily basic unless that person means a lot for him. I wrote 3 letters, one for the girl, and two for him, but I kept it in my phone. Chris, what should I do? He still cares about me, he will asked if I had eaten anything yet, how’s work, am I not feeling well or that kind of thing. But then again, he could ask everyone the same thing isn’t it?

Please help me. I know once I confront him, it might be the end of the relationship and I’m just doesn’t want to let go yet, but I don’t know how cN I win him back if his heart is no longer with me, also the other girl is skinnier and prettier than me. I am 26 years old, my bf is 25 years old (he’s pretty mature for his own age), that girl is 25 also.

admin

September 20, 2013 at 9:19 pm

I think your guts are right on: he still has feelings but not as deep as they used to be.

However, I think you can work to reignite some of his feelings back to the level they used to be.

Have you picked up the E-Book? That can help you in learning what to do to get that process started.
Michelle Kee

September 22, 2013 at 1:47 pm

Hi Chris, I did not pick up the ebook yet, but I will. At the mean time I don’t know what to do, should I exit the relationship? He treats me well lately but I know he’s been talking to this girl all these while, I don’t know what’s going on and everytime when I asked if he hid something from me he said no. When we are together Christmas is a huge thing for us, we decorate the place, throw party and totally enjoy it. Last night we went to shopping and he started talking about what should we buy for Christmas stuffing for our friends and etc. I can’t enjoy it, it just seems like its not going to happen. I really love him and I can’t stop thinking about how he proposed to me 4 years ago, how badly I wish I can go back in time to change it but I know it’s not possible. What should I do? Once I confront him I know we will be over. Right now I’m still pretending nothing happens bit he knew something is not right.
Michelle Kee

September 25, 2013 at 3:46 pm

I’m sure it will always remain to the back of my mind, in fact I can’t stop checking is facebook message, but seems like their conversation tone down a lot. Look I know the sex is great, but usually we have sex only few times a month, and it was like doing homework, and I asked for it. I snore like a pig, he used to wait till I went to bed and he will sleep on the couch, but he’s been hugging me to bed every night and wake up next to me every morning. He will appreciated the food I made for him, he will thanks me for that. He’s not doing well in his company lately and he just told me in the morning that if the sales couldn’t get better, he wants to go back to Hong Kong. I brought him likch to his office just now, he hug me and say thanks.

I don’t know. Am I thinking too much? Should I take it seriously about his conversation with another girl? I should right? Usually the intense conversation between them happened from July till September. That was few of the most difficult months for us, we fought almost every day, he packed his luggage for several times. Just this month, he treats me well again and then he start telling me all the stuff, and their conversation seems less intense and less frequent.

Am I lying to myself? Or just trying to make myself feel better? A guy like that? How can I know for sure when is real or is he really mean it? Sorry I sounds like a desperate woman
Michelle Kee

October 2, 2013 at 3:40 am

How can I do that ?
Michelle Kee

October 1, 2013 at 10:23 am

Yes I want to reignite the passion in out relationship, or simply want him to fall in love with me again. But we are living together, how can I become ungettable girl? And he did call me roommate last night and joking about putting a bowl of water between us when we sleeping. He was he was kidding but I don’t think is funny.. Chris I have until January to win his heart back, in mid jan, he will board a plan and go back home for 3 weeks, last time he change a lot when he went back home to see his family and friends. And that girl is a threat for me.
admin

October 2, 2013 at 12:26 am

Your situation kind of sucks because you live with him.

Hmm… Maybe you could try some jealousy tactics.
Michelle Kee

September 30, 2013 at 1:52 pm

Dear Chris, I read it and it’s great, but the thing is he is not my ex yet, we live together, share the same bed, although his feeling for me is not as strong as I.

And something happened 2 days ago, his friend (the girl he talks to) suddenly texted him and called him a liar. My bf thought I said something stupid to that girl, since u was being suspicious for the past two weeks and Ive been asking weird questions such as do you love me, are you seeing someone, are you lying, stuff like that. I guess I really messed it up. He treated me so well for the past two weeks, I know he was trying to reconcile and fallen back into love with me, but when he got the text he got upset. I didn’t do it, it wasn’t me, I don’t know why happened either.

After how he said he was upset with me, and said how hard he tried to love me aging by ignoring the past, he tried to look for a future in us, he said he just realize he couldn’t do it. Later, he come clean to me and told me, yes he’s been flirting with people online and on what’sapp, but after a while he realize that wasn’t him. He told me who she is, she’s on old time online buddy friend that they never met in person, he admitted he didn’t told her that he have a gf because he doesn’t want to bad mouth me like he did with his other friend, she is someone he talks to about general things in life and whenever he need someone to talk the most, I wasn’t there. And during the past 2 weeks, their conversation become less and less. He also told me who he’s been talking to on the what’sapp, some of his friends and family members. He even said I can look through his conversation between he and that girl, I wanted to, should I?

He said if we were to breakup, is no one business, but us. He don’t think our relationship can be fixed. He also know I’ve been checking his phone and looked through his messages. Then he kept sending me text like how he hate to wake up every morning with my nasty face and flat voice asking what he wanted for breakfast, how he hated his job, and how he have to pretend he love me just so I don’t ask him anymore questions.

Conversation keep going on and say why I don’t let him go, and said how he have feelings for me but I took advantage on it. . .

I am confused. During the last two weeks he’s been good to me and he even told me he love me and wanted us to work, but I’ve been suspicious and kept checking his phone, he knew something was wrong, but I never told him I know about that girl. And now he’s angry and said things like”I have to pretend I love you” , ” i still have feelings for you not not as strong as yours to mine”. I don’t get it. So is he still love me romantically as a gf or what?

When I got home that night, out friend came over to hang out. I wrote him a note about restarting the relationship and said I didn’t approached the girl. He read it, didn’t said anything about it. When we about going to bed, I wanted to talk, but he doesn’t, he kept saying there’s nothing to save in our relationship, I asked him how many girls did he flirted, he said few, I asked was that girl one of them, he was like, if he say yes and no, so what, and what I’m gonna do, I said I just want to know, I asked him twice, he finally said yes and say why I want to checked on him stuff like that. Later on he just said he wants to go to bed, and he said things like “I’m still here sleeping next to you, I’m not sleeping in the couch, I’m not changing my airline ticket to go home early, what else do you want? I’m still physically here and can’t we just pretends nothing had happened and go to bed?” The next day I have to work, but he don’t. He took our dog out to the dog park, I made dinner and he came home to eat it. He didn’t as warm as he was to me during the past to me, he’s more distant and cold. Last night he asked me to help pay for the utilities bills from now on coz his car payments cost couple hundred bucks for months and it’s been 3 years he bought the car and he never asked me to pay a dime. He still cold to me, now is morning time, he usually wake up hug me, kiss me, cuddle me, sometime sex. But ever since what happened to days ago, he’s been like this. Stay under the same roof and didn’t talk much, we were like this a while ago, I’m afraid is going backwards. Chris , what should I do? How can I win this man back? We are not broken up yet and we live together. Although I will be gone for the weekend. I still want to check his phone and facebook, should I stop? But I don’t trust him yet. I love him so much. Help.
admin

October 1, 2013 at 2:40 am

Gotcha, so you are looking for a way to reignite the passion in your relationship?

It’s a complicated question. I think becoming an ungettable girl in his eyes is essential.
Michelle Kee

September 28, 2013 at 4:56 am

Chris, I finally get to his phone and checked his text message. Seems like he’s been telling the girl about his thought if changing career path, of course he discussed with me few days ago too. They were talking about something and I don’t quite remember what, but my bf said something like” the job, the gf, the money”. It seems like he told her he have a gf, but I won’t know for sure. I asked if he’s fallen or seeing someone else and he said no.

I just can’t trust him. Seems like that’s his best friend and they talked everyday, I’m not comfortable with it. How can I make him to fall for me all over again and wanted to commit to me? I would be ever happier if he put his facebook status as in a relationship with me. Any tips to make a man madly in love with you?

Ps: I’m going away next weekend, I just don’t trust him being alone in the APT. I’m afraid he will keep talking to that girl non stop.
admin

September 29, 2013 at 11:32 pm

Have you read this article: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-making-your-ex-boyfriend-love-you-again/
Michelle Kee

September 26, 2013 at 4:37 am

Yes he is giving me lots of signs. He might get a job in CT, and asked if I willing to live there, he appreciated all my cooking, he is physically closed to me even we didn’t have sex. Now he’ll hold my hand, hug me every time when we are together. He will shared with me about his work day when he came home at night, either is good or bad; he will ask me about my day too. He is thinking about leaving his current job, he asked for New York opinions. Hmmm our dog been making us laugh lately too, he will be like” hey, look at our girl, she’s so cute” … He didn’t say “I love you” since last Tuesday. Hmmm what else? Oh at least he will offer to help in the kitchen when I was making dinner. He used to came home drop off his bag and does his own thing.

Are those signs? Is he still interested in me/love me romantically ? What about that girl? The conversation between them ? Should I ignore it or let it go?
admin

September 27, 2013 at 3:46 am

Haha those look like pretty strong signs to me.

I say let it go at this point.
admin

September 26, 2013 at 3:13 am

You are definitely thinking too much but it is completely ok!

Has he given you any signs that he is still interested in you?
admin

September 22, 2013 at 11:11 pm

Well, I can’t tell you to exit or not. All I will say is if you are with him the problem will always be in the back of your mind and unless you can forgive him for it, it will be a problem.
Michelle Kee

September 24, 2013 at 2:35 pm

No he hasn’t come clean. But he’s been treating me great lately, he would hug me to bed every night, every morning and we’ve been having passionate sex everyday for a week now. Last night he told me the reason he’s been treating me well because he wants to start loving me again, and he wants to restart the relationship with me. I asked him if he hide anything from me, he still say no, but I am welcome to ask.

Dear Chris, I know I am messed up, when I told my BFF, she pretty much told me the sex was great because he must be thinking about the another woman, and he’s been treating me well because of guilt conscience, he doesn’t want me to find out.

I don’t know, but when he hug me tight and kiss me I don’t feel like he’s faking it, we didn’t hug for a long time, ever since he moved to New York and started his job, we’ve been emotional distance with each other, and lately it just seems like when we first started going out again.

Chris, you’re a guy, can you tell me what is going on? Because I can’t!
admin

September 25, 2013 at 12:58 am

Haha he is a guy who is getting sex… I think that fact alone makes him pretty happy.

Look, if you don’t want to complicate things (if things are great) maybe you don’t bring it up. BUT you will eventually hit a rough spot again and it will always be in the back of your mind.
Michelle Kee

September 23, 2013 at 4:13 am

He doesn’t come clean to me, unless I confront him. I would forgive him if he completely cut contact with that chick and be 100% honest to me.
admin

September 24, 2013 at 2:22 am

But he hasn’t done that right?

what to do

September 19, 2013 at 9:35 pm

What should I do when my ex-boyfriend left me to go back to his ex, I want him back and he knows that but he says he told her he’d tried with her again, he is already there with her but he tells me he realized he made a mistake, he tells me he loves me and said he wants a future with me, but he is still there. He said he made the wrong decision and is just being there because he is already there. He doesn’t want to move back and forth as he’s been doing before. I know his actions are all over there with her but he contacts me and I admit I contact him and gave him the okay that I will be here. I told him I have to block him to get over him and he begged me not to. Then we talked, we’re in a good place between us which is weird, so now I feel like the other woman, we agreed we need to stop contacting each other and see where it takes us. He said he doesn’t want me on a side, he wants me to be the only one. So we shouldn’t talk and I realized it and agreed, NO MORE CONTACT. Its only been A DAY, he just texted me that I’m wonderful and have a good day. I finally didn’t reply. But that’s today, HELP !!! Does the no contact applies, is what I’m saying, I’m just in denial and need to move on cause he’s not trying to get me back ?

admin

September 20, 2013 at 8:58 pm

Yup, NC applies.

You should pick up my E-Book if you want more in-depth advice.

For now though I definitely say NC is the way to go.
what to do

September 21, 2013 at 3:37 am

I did buy your book yesterday, but today he blocked me from social media, so i feel that’s pretty it, it hurts because he said he wouldn’t be able to do that (block me) ? I know this screams MOVE ON !! but its so hard
admin

September 21, 2013 at 11:13 pm

I remember doing this to one of my girlfriends but I ended up adding her back two or three times over and over. And then she would block me.

Honestly, it doesn’t mean too much.
what to do

September 21, 2013 at 4:03 am

also, I was reading another part of your site, and I gave him an ultimatum last week because of the sure advice of my female cousin which made sense but I was not prepared for when he still didn’t come, goodness
admin

September 21, 2013 at 11:13 pm

Yea, ultimatiums are never good :/
what to do

September 19, 2013 at 11:45 pm

also, he’s a few states away, the reason I still want him is because when he was with me, I didn’t have time with because I was traveling with work, (so we been having long distance relationship pretty much until I’m in town for a weekend here and there) and I was doing all the things you said not to do when he first left, freaking out, being needy, texting constantly, the thing is, yes I still want him, the problem with this I feel with this is, at one point, he felt he missed his chance with me unless he comes back right away, I think he was considering it, I immediately said, “we may meet again, who knows” as if I’m waiting or “whenever he’s ready” well I don’t want to chance it, I guess, so I don’t know what to do still

Confused

September 13, 2013 at 9:53 pm

Me and my ex have just broke up he met with a girl when i was away i new when i came back and found messages he said he wanted a brake i left iit a day then met him and asked if it was what he wanted he said he lived me and that will probqly miss me but has so much in comon with this girl . he seemed upset to leave me and stressed and confussed but had made his mind up. i also made it clear it was me or her and i didnt want to be with him when he was with her . she is on holiday for 2 weekd he told me and i have found out this is true .I want to do the nc rule but but there are commitment we have to keep In contact for I am meeting him in a week to descus this as . I will have to be In regual contact with him for years due to this . I carnt Egnor him as i have to keep him sweet . He is also runing my work area atm from another office . so i am geting calls from him about work and somon .!How do I enforce the nc rule .

admin

September 15, 2013 at 1:01 am

I guess you can try a LC rule.

Why can’t you ignore him though?
Confused

September 13, 2013 at 10:27 pm

Why would he say he loves me n doesn’t want it leave me even when he has picked to be with her. .he also told me she was a school crush and i found out that she enjoys sailing which his family does . I can not see how I will get him bk when she will jump in to my shoes as soon as she gets bk
admin

September 15, 2013 at 1:05 am

So, he is telling you all that stuff while he is still with her? Or was this all before you two broke up?
Confused

September 15, 2013 at 4:06 am

This was a day after I found out . What is the lc rule .
admin

September 16, 2013 at 3:46 am

The limited contact rule.

Vi

September 9, 2013 at 8:22 am

Hi,
I’m from an Asian country and I have just broken up with my boyfriend. He has another girl. I still love him very much and I want him back. Could you please give me some advices?

We had been together for 2 years. That was the most happiest time of my life. We used to work in a same company so we met up everyday. Last May, we both got new jobs. Even though we just hung out on weekend but we were really happy anytime we met (or just my thinking).

Last month, I went to Korea for a conference. When I was there, he broke up with me through phone. That was really harsh. I was so lonely in a foreign country at that time. He said “He has changed and he couldn’t feel for me anymore.” That was shock because I didn’t realize anything. I thought he still loved me. He even kissed me goodbye before my Korea trip.

I asked him if he had another girl. He said “No”. Then, when I was back home, I found out by myself that he was in love with someone else. He admitted when I asked him again. I have been crying a lot. There is no reason for me to stop loving him immediately. I’m so blind, I know.

I can see that you said this situation is not worth trying. However, I still want to give it a try. I love him for the good and for the bad. I really wanna try.

admin

September 9, 2013 at 7:53 pm

Ok, well the first thing to do is go into NC.

You might also want to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

Heartbroken

September 8, 2013 at 4:57 am

Hi I’m 25 and I’ve been dating my ex for almost 2 years. It’s been a tough two years but we still loved each other a lot, or so I thought. He broke up with me two months ago but he has been calling me and we’ve been meeting up. He says he loves me a lot and that he is just lost and confused at the moment but he asked me to wait for him that he loves me a lot. Yesterday I found out that he has been dating another girl for the past 6 months and he was cheating on me. So he would pretty much alternate between the two of us without either knowing. When I confronted him he denied it until I showed him a picture of them. He said that he still loves me but I should just let it be and it might work out…that he has nothing serious with this girl but that there is something there. I asked him to choose between us and he said he couldn’t cause he loves us both but he has taken her out in public, taken pictures of them kissing and even introduced her to his friends when he never really did any of those things with me. I was feeling terrible and i called him but he got mad that i was still talking about it and told me to let it be that i was crazy and selfish. So I said goodbye and that I wish them the best of luck but I am heartbroken cause he seems to be so happy with her even though he said he is not and that it is just a fling cause it’s not that serious but it really doesn’t look like that. He said he doesn’t have long to live and because of that he is lost and just wants to live his life, that if that wasn’t the case he would be with me but he knows that if he dies I wouldn’t be able to pick up the pieces and move on but this girl can so that’s why he is with her. I feel like I was the fling…I have no idea what to do now cause I’m so heartbroken, lost, humiliated and feel so used. the worst part is that I still love him and I really do want him back and want to be there to see how I can help his health situation.

admin

September 8, 2013 at 4:41 pm

Why do you want this guy back? Not trying to sound mean but to me that is the ultimate sin that a guy can do and the way he reacted makes me boil inside.

Kendall

September 1, 2013 at 3:44 pm

Hey Chris, I love your site! So, my boyfriend and I broke up. I have recently decided that I want him back. We broke up and a lot of it had to do with the fact that he was/is unhappy with his own life and that we stopped pushing each other personally.
We met online & he never actually closed his account, but I knew he hadn’t been on, so I never really cared. I found out that he had been on the site about a month before we broke up. A few days after we broke up, we talked to get some closure. I told him that I saw it & asked him straight up if he cheated. He said no and he was pretty honest about everything else he said. In general, I feel like he wouldn’t have a reason to lie to me about it at that point. However, I don’t actually know if he cheated on me or not.

As far as getting back together. If he did cheat, I would obviously be hurt, but I can understand why he would. He’s not very happy with his life & he was feeling like we moved everything too fast & too soon, so I get why he might have cheated. My question is, I would like to potentially get back together with him, but I don’t know how to confront whether or not he cheated. Is this something I should even do? Because of where he is in life right now, I understand the possible reasons for cheating if he did, and I could move forward from there. I want to know for that reason only, but I don’t want to ruin any potential chance we might have in the future to get back together or to be friends.

admin

September 2, 2013 at 2:33 am

Honestly, I don’t know him very well so I can’t tell you if he cheated or not.

All I will tell you is that I wouldn’t focus on this if I was you. Have you tried doing NC?

Oh, and you might get something out of Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.

liz

August 30, 2013 at 4:35 am

hey chris
my ex broke up with me a week or so ago….he broke up with me because he cheated on me- he said i overwhelmed him with talking about the future/marriage/kids so much…and I did do that a lot, and I know I freaked him out. We are both young still (23)- and I think I liked to talk about these things because I liked the security of it. The cheat was a one time thing- but he said it make him realize he felt differently about me now. He used to be so in love with me- he chased me for so long until I finally said yes. I love him a lot and can really see a future with us- he even said that to before, and after the breakup. He said that he can see us together in 3-4 years after he is done his PHD program (he just started last week…a few days after he cheated/broke it off with me)…I did some things wrong post-breakup (texting, calling, begging, crying)- but I just dont know what to do. Today is my first day of NC and I just dont understand how it works…..how will he fall back in love with me if in not there? Also, the 3-4 year thing…is he serious? He said he really means it…but I don’t know. It’s not like I’m going to wait around or anything if that’s the case. I’m just really down in the dumps and want my best friend back :[

admin

August 31, 2013 at 2:08 am

Have you started NC yet?
liz

August 30, 2013 at 4:36 am

and what if I dont hear from him in the 30 days? His birthday is also in the 30 day window…
admin

August 31, 2013 at 2:08 am

Don’t wish him a happy birthday.

If you don’t hear from him so what? You are going to contact him after NC anyways.

sally

August 27, 2013 at 11:46 pm

Hi great site, can you advice me please, I feel weird asking but I have been crying every night about my ex
He lives in moscow I live in dublin. He talked to me online everyday for 7 months begged me to fly to him I dud he paid for it everytime I went there he was a gentleman but when he told me he loved me and he was not sure he want to and wanted space I freacked out for a month a wrote long messages on fb eventually I called it off he said it was drastic.
He came back and talked to me every week on fb liked all my photos was so nice a supportive but I got angry after a year of this as he never wanted to bring up why we broke up but was still talk every day tell me how beautiful I am, sexy, wonderful etc
So I told him I needed to move on that was in april we have not talk since tgen. I have improved myself travelled Different places and made new friends the past year I was busy trying to better myself in some hope he would come back but when he had come back being flirtly saying he missed me, I told him I need to moved on, I also called him emotionally immature and a coward which was not nice of me.

I guess I did the no contact rule with out even realize in it and he came back but I was too blind to see he wanted back.

What do I do?

I cannot text him after telling him to go away and it been 4 months since we talked.

Please help I think abput him day and night and we were so happy together and I have grown so much since then.

Thank you

admin

August 28, 2013 at 4:18 am

I think you should send him a very casual text (but more than “hey”) to break the ice.

Jess

August 27, 2013 at 8:22 pm

Hi Chris,

My bf of two months may have cheated on me. Basically, we got through the honeymoon phase and then we had communication issue (him not communicating). We had an argument and made up and then he just stopped talking to me. I found out that he was flirting with another girl (which is fine, I flirt with other guys so no big deal) but but I also heard that he messed with someone that he showed interest in before he met me,
I know her and she said that they are just friends. Needless to say he has not confirmed or denied the allegations of cheating with the girl from his past, he just stopped talking to me . I am initiating the nc rule (2 weeks a.d going strong). Nonetheless, just in your opinion (I know every guy is unique) do you think the lost communication is an indicator that he cheated. Also I should add that I am abstinent (for religious and personal reasons) and he knew this before he got my number and we have discussed it at length.

admin

August 28, 2013 at 4:10 am

I think the real question is

Do you even want him back?

foolishheart

August 22, 2013 at 4:28 am

Hi chris really like your website can you give you two cents advice, me my ex boyfriend been together for 6 years, and those all i have to go thru are pains and sufferings for him to get back on his feet. he has kids and I’m single and in spite of that i still want to be with him and we fight against all odds, didn’t listen to my family and friends to make the story short..we live happy for 3 years we have up and downs but we conquer it all till i found out the he his cheating on me with his co workers he got me blindsided that he will never cheat on me because he knows how painful it is because his ex wife cheated on him too that’s why he won’t do that to anyone till that night i found out, he beg for me not let go but i was so mad and emotionally because never have i thought he’ll do that to me after all i have to did for him, i put aside my dreams just for him to get back on his feet, I become the 2nd mother to his kids, when i found out i left the house just to cool down my emotions and when i came back home i saw him and the girl in the house but i stay calm and that night i fought for him because i love him, I did the mistake of begging and pleading for like 2 weeks.. then i decide i’ll just let it go didn’t talk to him for two weeks then he called me up and asking me how i am.. i will response i’m ok.. then i told him if his happy with her then i’m happy for you and he said “i don’t know if i’m going to be happy, i just want my freedom but i don’t want to let you go”. it’s been 4 months their still together but during those months i never called him but he will call me i’ll answer but not right away i’ll give atleast an hour to response he will say he miss me, sometime i don’t response when sometimes i’ll say i miss him too.. but he still with the girl but he’s been calling me.. so i’m really confused until now.. i’m like should i go or should i stay because of the hope he gave me he said he will find his way back to me he told me this 4 months ago but, he’s still with the girl, he’ll be calling me sometime to see how i’am but i’ll pretend that i’m happy and living my life as single.. then i asked him if he wants to have coffee he said he will see but he asked me what time i said 8pm is fine and he said he will see, i waited for him till 8pm comes he never calls me only to find out that he has to pick the kids without even telling me sorry we can’t tonight.. i said ok then ignore his calls then his been calling me 6x and 4xtext asking if i’m ok. till I answered I’m ok no worries.. since then his been calling every night sometimes i don’t answer his calls or i’ll response after an hour. whenever i asked him to have coffee with me just to catch up he’s hesitant. now my question is the nc will still work? since we been MC for almost three months.

admin

August 23, 2013 at 6:10 pm

I think NC can still work for you! However, you aren’t guaranteed to get him back with just that. It is what you do during and after NC that really makes or breaks your chances. Now, admitedly you are at a slight disadvatage b/c he is with someone else. But in my experience relationships like that don’t tend to go all the way (it has happened a few times but it is rare.)

Before I forget, if you are looking for more in-depth advice on how to get him back (what to do during/after) NC then I recommend you picking up Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO, my ebook. Now, if price is an issue for you then you can email me and we can work something out. I want it to be affordable for everyone!

Megan

August 20, 2013 at 2:47 pm

Chris,

My bf has cheated on me with his ex whom he has a 4 yr old child with, apparently 3-4 times.. He says he doesn’t really know why he did it, that he was confused about who he wanted to be with because of the child. After having been honest with me about everything and my initial shock and outbursts of ” how could you do this” and “i hate you’s” were over, he has been begging me to stay with him, saying that he’s willing to do anything to stay together, that there was no passion or anything between them it was a straight “fuck”, that I am the only one he wants to be with, to marry and have children and that he’ll never do it again, and hates himself for doing it and hurting me so badly.
How do I get over it? How do I learn to trust him again? I want to be with him, even though he has absolutely ripped my heart into pieces, I can’t help but feel sorry for him, I know hes hurting too, he’s terrified I am going to leave him. All I want to do is curl up in his arms and cry at this terrible situation we’re in.
Thank you for your time

admin

August 21, 2013 at 4:39 am

My first though when we are dealing with situations where men cheat on women is, why do you want him back?

In your case I think if your boyfriend has cheated on you multiple times with this girl then it is going to be a common occurance. I will help you if you want him back but before I do that I want you to go to the drawing board and figure out why you really want him back?

natty

August 19, 2013 at 10:40 pm

im in a long distance relationship since a year.he wont make much tym for me n if i gets busy he gets mad..he is coming to my place after a week.i think he uses me as an option cz today i come to know that he is claiming his love to a girl n her frend also.since then i didnt talk to him.i love him n cant loose him what shuld i do ..should i apply no contact rule this would help

admin

August 20, 2013 at 4:56 am

Yes go ahead and apply the NC rule.

Sophia

August 19, 2013 at 1:01 pm

Hii!
I need help 🙁
Im having problems with my bf of two year and half. A year ago, I found out he was having an “affair” with another girl. He always denied it and claimed to be just friends with her. Long story short, I ended up talking to the girl that confirmed everything. But he tried to make me think I was crazy to believe her because she only wanted to break us up. Couple of months later, I teamed up with the girl and caught him playing vball with her. When he swore that he wasn’t playing no more with her. I confronted him in front of her and he just claimed that she was a liar and she just didn’t argue. After that, he cried like a baby to make me not leave him. Both stories were different. I took him back but the girl contacted him to stay friends in my back. He only told me days after. I asked him to cut her off an he couldn’t. He thought that I should be the one talking to her and make her stop talking to him and kept claiming they’re friends. I was really hurt and I confronted the girl until she was tired of the drama and cut him off. But this is not where it ends. I then caught a std from him because he had a one night stand with a girl without protection. To this point, he swore to me he was gon change and I was the one he loved and he admitted being fucked up and said he wouldn’t do it again. I took him back so easily. We just did 3 weeks away from each other and two days after he started begging me for forgiveness I took him back. Six months after that whole issue, I found out he was flirting with a girl. When I asked about it, he couldn’t tell me the truth. That girl and me have friends in common (which he didn’t know). She then confirmed that there was something and it started like a week ago. He denied everything to me and told her it was complicated between me and him. She was always asking for info between me and him but always refused to give me any information. So I left my bf. I then saw them together with her friends leaving a club 5 days later and he didn’t even try To go after me. Hen I confronted him,he just said that I dumped him. The girl wasn’t next to us when we were talking. The next day he called me to tell me how much he loves me an can’t be without me. I’m such an idiot that I was ready to forgive him. He then started to act fishy so I went to his house. And she was there with her friends and him watching a movie. I kicked the girl out of the house and he stayed behind me the whole time. He then told me that he knew I was gon come because he knows me too well and that he’s too nice to turn girls off. And he’s sorry. But he really didn’t cheat on me this time. He only started to hang out with her only when I left him cause he thought I didn’t love him anymore. I just feel like he’s playing with me knowing that I would be here with him no matter what. The thing is even of he didn’t really Cheat this time, he should have fight for us. I know they didnt have sex yet. Not just stay with her, the reason why I left. I think it was totally disrespectful. Like what would have happened if I didn’t come over. He just uses me to do his dirty job. He said he was sorry for this and he did change and he really can’t live without me. I went back with him the same night. Tonight I’m gon propose couple therapy but its really expensive from what I heard an we really can’t afford it. Ill ask him to get tested for every std and to bring him home and introduce me properly to his mom. I just met her but he never really introduced me. I really don’t know what to do. Leaving is not an option because I love him too much and I really don’t want to do the 45 days cause I don’t want him to go see elsewhere. He admits he’s weak and all and he needs me to put him the right direction. I’m 20 and he’s 21. Oh he was my first time. I was a virgin when I met him. And my virginity was really precious to me. And I want to get married with my first. What should I do? Am I thinking wrong?? Please help me!!!!!

admin

August 20, 2013 at 4:00 am

Do you think the cheating is a common thing with him?
Sophia

August 19, 2013 at 1:02 pm

Sorry he’s 24

Calie

August 19, 2013 at 3:43 am

me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years now and he cheated on me just recently. it was his first time ever doing something like that. we broke up and I haven’t talked to him or tried talking to him. well he text me today telling me how truly sorry he is and that he loves me and regrets what he did. and that he will do anything to have me back. I met with him today and he seems like he is being serious and sincere when he says hes sorry. he said he will never do it again and that I was all that he thought about while we haven’t talked. he said he couldn’t eat or sleep or anything because he missed me and hated himself for what he did. would I be stupid for taking him back? I really love him. and I am going crazy without him. I have never loved someone as much as I love him. he was like my world.

admin

August 20, 2013 at 3:30 am

Does his cheating seem like a one time thing or is it a common occurance?

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