How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has A Girlfriend V. 2.0

1,117 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has A Girlfriend -Version 2.0-”

Gigi

October 6, 2014 at 1:54 pm

Hello Chris,

Thanks to the blog, and the guide, I have been able to turn many situations with my ex around. We broke up now 4 months ago (9 month relationship, 2 y. friends). The last time I posted was 3 weeks ago when he had this second rebound (he broke it off the same week he announced it and they lasted a month).

He was afraid to lose me (he said so) and started contacting our mutual friends, asking them to let me know he was available, and willing to date again.
After 3 weeks of LC, we went out for brunch, then he insisted we go hiking (1.5 hrs away) I -eventually agreed in a crazy moment- it got dark and had dinner, stayed the night at the lodge. Yes, ex sex. Bad move.

Though he insisted telling me how much he loved me, the next morning, he also said how he “needed this time to do much growing (he’s 34). How he “loves me/thinks of me every day and all day long/ misses me/ looks for apartments I would like/ is worried I might fall in love with someone else.” How he still “has” to take this time apart, even at the risk of losing me forever. (Oh no..)

I kept cool but finally said “love dies unattended, and my feelings for you have faded a lot already.” he hinted at coming back to hike in a couple of weeks. 2 hours after we said goodbye, he sent me an email saying “I miss you, babe” Then hours later an email explaining -again- his need to be alone for a little longer to be less insecure (??) and a better partner in the future (this I believe, since he always sought validation through women and had issues with flirting.) So… I don’t know what to do next. He seemed incredibly involved in our date, loving, scared even. My problem was the ex sex. I can’t find any way to reverse this -at this stage- on the guide. LC, NC, dunno. I do know his willingness to keep dating others bothers me. Please help??

admin

October 7, 2014 at 1:31 pm

Your welcome Gigi,

I would actually see him again in person but not have sex with him. Make him commit before you do that.

Mary

October 1, 2014 at 10:52 pm

Hi Chris,

My ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. I went into stage 5 clinger mode immediately after…which I know was a terrible idea, and continued that for about a 2 months until I self imposed NC and have been NC for about two weeks. He has since moved out of state and is currently in graduate school. A week after we broke up he hooked up with one of his coworkers that had been flirting with him for a while. And now, he is currently dating and hooking up with a girl he is going to school with for the past month (and they have been dating for a little over a month). I’ve been doing a lot of self improvement and I accept that we might not get back together again and I have a back up plan in place. But I am really curious about how much of a rebound this new girl he is dating at school is… He technically rebounded already right after the break up and now he is really enjoying this new girl and how much of an “amazing person” she probably is. So again, is this a rebound? And do I have any chance of getting back together with him?

admin

October 3, 2014 at 2:24 pm

How fast did he start dating her after the breakup?
Mary

October 3, 2014 at 9:10 pm

After moving to his new city, he began going on a lot of dates with other women and I would say after a few weeks of doing that he stuck with this one girl…so about a month and a half after we broke up?

Tiffany

October 1, 2014 at 6:24 am

Hi Chris, thanks so much for this site, amaxing. Anyway I’d been with my ex for 5 1/2 years, one night I was about to leave his house when some girl had text him amd I happened to glance at his phone anyway i flipped out a little about it and he got all defensive, I felt bad so I apologized the next day and he said it was nothing, literally the next day after that he broke up with me saying he didn’t love me anymore less than a week went by and his mom called me and said she had met his new girlfriend(who was the same girl that text him) I was even more upset because I found out she is 18 (he’s 28) I’m disgusted!!! I went abiut a week without talking but had called him because my mom was in the hospital and I needed a friend. He was a complete asshole so I just said sorry and if never call him again which he replied fine and that was basically it. It’s been about 3 weeks into nc (he broke up with me about a month ago.
Do you think I still have a chance at getting him back? That same week we broke up he was planing on buying me a bracelet for Christmas and earlier this year I thought I had made huge progress when he admitted that he could see me as the mother of his children and that he wanted to move in with me. I have no idea where this all came from but I’m shocked, and I’m convinced he’s the one…. any ideas or suggestions?

admin

October 1, 2014 at 4:00 pm

I would go NC immediately…
Tiffany

October 1, 2014 at 5:30 pm

Thanks, I’ve been on nc since 9/13. I have not at all tried taking to him since abd he hasn’t called either, is this a rebound?
admin

October 3, 2014 at 2:09 pm

how fast did he get with her after your breakup with him?
Tiffany

October 3, 2014 at 4:18 pm

Honestly I’m not sure but it was within a week… Like I said I had found him texting her before we broke up and a week later his mom had already met the girl…. do I have a chance or should I even try?
Idk how necessary this info is but he’s 28 & works at a big chain supermarket, does not have his ged….. I’m 24 going to school to be a nurse and his girl is 18 fresh outta high school and in community college.
admin

October 6, 2014 at 11:23 am

Its relevant only in the fact that his new girl is going to be pretty darn immature when it comes to relationships.
Tiffany

October 4, 2014 at 4:04 am

I actually just ran into then at the mall, things weren’t even going bad, but I guys he saw me before I saw him and he had his arm wrapped around her neck…. :/

Grace

September 30, 2014 at 5:42 pm

What happens if the ‘new girlfriend’ is an ex from the past. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and his ex from 2.5years ago has just come back in to his life. He says he confused and still loves her but they haven’t said they are getting back together although he wants to try. I think it depends on her.she didn’t know about me but he said he as going to tell her. Their relationship ended badly and she cut all ties with him until she randomly bumped into him almost 2,years after they broke up. He feels that he needs to make right the way their relationship ended. He has told me he has love for me and cares very much, wants the best for me and doesn’t want to burn bridges with me. I have started no contact and am a week in……I plan to txt him in a few weeks as I know he has a big event coming up that we had been working on together. Do I continue with cute funny text we used to share to make him remember the girl I am…..and not the weepy girl he broke it off with . Any advice is appreciated x

admin

October 1, 2014 at 3:41 pm

How long did he date his ex for?

Shambi

September 29, 2014 at 10:53 pm

my ex broke up with me last monday. by friday he got a new girlfriend. worth waiting around for or not?

admin

September 30, 2014 at 2:57 pm

Could be a rebound.

deidre

September 6, 2014 at 3:20 pm

We have been together for about 5 years, on and off for two years. He began cheating and lying to me in December 2013. He assured me it was nothing, but turns out it was. He went away for two months to see her and then they came back together. He had claimed he was dating her. I believe he was telling her since December that we weren’t together, that I was pregnant, that I was nobody. So technically he cheated on me with her and on her with me and just hide us and lied to us, unless she knew the whole time but not a clue. Anyway we never really had a real breakup. Since hes been back all hes been doing is partying ( while im home pregnant) and he has been seen hitting on all different types of girls, yet is supposably with her? Since hes been back it has been a month and he has ignored me since. Why is he ignoring me while im pregnant and walks out, and yet still lie and cheat on that other girl with others. im so confused.

admin

September 15, 2014 at 2:46 pm

I am sorry he cheated on you.

May I ask why you want him back? He has demonstrated that he probably won’t stop if you did get back together with him.
deidre

November 5, 2014 at 7:30 pm

Im kinda curious to know why he wont tell this other girl the truth about anything? what causes him to keep that and ignore me. Its not like I did anything and well our baby is born at the end of the month.

Anna

August 29, 2014 at 1:45 am

Hi Chris,
My ex and I dated for 2 and a half years. I met him when he was just out of a serious 3 year relationship, they were married and had 2 kids. I was technically the rebound. But i am too stubborn for that and every time he broke up with me in the first 3 months i stayed close and we got back together a few days later on and off until he developed feelings for me and eventually loved me and things got better. Then about a year ago things got worse. He was under a lot of stress as was i, financially we werent doing well and we had moved far away from our families and such. I took a few “breaks” over the last year to try to get my feelings figured out. about 2 months ago we got in a big fight and i left, moved all my stuff out and told him i never wanted to see him again. Of course after about a month (the longest i have ever left him for) i was able to move past the bad emotions and remember that i DO love him and i never really saw myself with out him. I called to reconnect and found out he was dating someone else. His ex wife. They started dating about a week after i left. Not even. She moved in to help take care of the kids and they “reconnected” . We have talked alot since then. Their relationship is going good now but has hit at least 1 serious bump that i know of. He says he does still love me and is still IN love with me but he loves her too and he feels he needs to give it a chance if it can work. IDK. Would that be considered a rebound? Do i have a chance at getting him back or is it very unlikely? What steps should i take to try to get him back? He called me for the first week asking me to come home but after she came back he stopped calling. So what do i do?

admin

August 29, 2014 at 12:17 pm

I’d say as much as youve gotten him back in the past you can probably get him back again…

Priscilla

August 27, 2014 at 3:08 am

Hi Chris,

Ill try and keep this as short as possible.
My boyfriend of a little more than a year broke up with me a little less than a month ago during a heated fight. He said he wanted a break because he wqs scared of how serious we were getting. Of course i begged and pleaded, but after that night i went into NC for almost 2 weeks until he messaged me. I replied back the next day and we talked day and night for 4ish days until he asked me uf we could go on a date because he missed me and asked if we could start slow and casually date first. After a day of thinking about it i agreed and we went on the date. On the date he kepy trying to hold my hand and kept saying “i still see hope for us, but i know i can be a better man to you and i need this time” and yeah our relationship wasnt perfect but we did love ech other, i told him i understand and that i realize my mistakes too. But anyway, unfortunately he took me to his apartment and we had sex. I know i know, i felt ashamed and regretful after. I messaged him after saying that i disnt know if we should talk for a bit, but i wasnt even sure if i was doing the right thing. He agreed and told me that he didnt want me to think he was using me for sex. But then the next day i realized.i could try the friends thing because he saud before he doesnt wanna lose me entirely. And then things got weird and he gort distant.emotionless replies to light texts and short ones too. So i got pissed because when i finally decide i can be friends he acts like that and i said we sont have to be friends because i dont even feel like one. He said he was busy with work and i called bs on that and asked him to just be honest and admit hes been distant. He finally did and said it was because he didnt want to hurt me since he felt a little connection for another girl. I said im happy for him and later that day we bumped into each other since we got to the same college. We talked about things and played pool. There was flirting-mostly on his part and he asked for hugs more than once. He said the girls cool and layed back but doesnt know if things will get serious.

So basically, i dont know what to do. I read this entire article and idk if itll work in my situation. He gets very fragile and upset when people dont talk to him, and he basically said he doesnt want to casually date anymore. Is she a rebound? will NC again backfire on my part ? If we hangout and keep having a good time at school will that work better since he was already flirting? Ive read you can be friends with an ex and use it to your advantage, but idk im so lost haha

admin

August 28, 2014 at 12:27 pm

Have you read the rebound article? Does she have those signs?

Rosie

August 18, 2014 at 5:52 pm

Hi , me and my partner broke up a year ago and have a daughter together .. He moved out and got his own place but we still saw Each other and still did things as a family we slept over at each other’s houses and only a month ago he told me he loved me and also a few days later said he had feelings and didn’t know what to do. He would be upset if he saw me go out and got very Mardy with me for doing so … My head was a mess and in took me and our child away for 2 weeks to try clear my head . I came home and he told me he is now in a relationship with a girl who he slept with just before I want away I know about it as he called me and asked me to go and talk to him when he found out she had a patent and kids and had actually cheated on her partner with him. They got close whilst I was out the country and 2 months down the line he has now moved in with her and her children and doesn’t seen to wat anything to do with me I have made it clear how I feel and also explained that I was finding him been with someone hard and also so does her child. He barely asks over our child now and seems to be totally over me and hates me I have tried to talk to him but be doesn’t listen and blames everything on me saying what did u think we would get back together but the funny thing is I know if I hadn’t gone away we would of been back together .. He seems to of totally got over me . It hurts and I don’t know what to do? I want him back so bad and want him want us back too. It’s hard to do the no contact rule as we have a child we were together 11 years .. What do I do?

admin

August 19, 2014 at 2:21 pm

I doubt he has totally gotten over you but he is not acting like someone who is very attractive right now is he?

I’d do the limited contact rule.
Rosie

August 18, 2014 at 6:04 pm

What can I do to get him back?

m.y.

August 18, 2014 at 2:54 pm

Hi Chris

I am struggling and would be appreciated if you give me some advice.

My ex and I have been together 7 and a half years. We were engaged when we broke up 2 years ago. After we broke up for 1 month, he was in a relationship with another girl for a few months. It didn’t work and then he came back to me and ask if we could get back together. We did but it just last for a few weeks as he said he felt like he couldn’t commit himself. After that, he dated around for about half a year. He then came back again, saying he would like us to get back together, but he needed sometime to clear up his mess, then we develop kind of “friends with benefit” relationship.

About two months ago, we went to travelling for 2 weeks. After that, he needed my help with his financial matters and he felt ashamed of himself as this is not the first time. Then he told me that we shouldn’t be together like this anymore. He said I was too good to him and sometimes he felt bad when he’s around me. He thought both of us should move on. I agreed and we just talked like friends afterwards. Two weeks later, he told me that he’s seeing someone new (I asked him to tell me if he’s doing so), but he said he’s feeling bad about it because I am on his mind all the time. I asked him if he think we can still get back together. He thought there would be a better chance if we could both move on first, and then maybe we can start thing new. But he is not saying there is a high chance.

That night after he told me he’s seeing someone else, he posted the relationship status on facebook, which he doesn’t do it normally. The last time he did it is when we were together and he is really serious about our relationship. After we broke up, he never did that. I asked him if the posting status means that he’s serious with the new relationship. He said he was forced to do the status thing and he doesn’t know if he is serious.

Since he told me he’s in a relationship, I happened to read your website and apply NC. It’s almost a month I have applied NC already and he didn’t contact me at all. Last sat I saw on facebook that he went to disneyland with his girlfriend and he looks happy. I really worry that he has moved on and I thought I have almost done everything that ruin my chances to get back with him. I just wanna ask do you think this is another rebound for him and is there still any chances for me to get him back?

admin

August 19, 2014 at 2:10 pm

How long has he been dating the new girl?
m.y.

August 20, 2014 at 12:09 am

Abou one month he’s dating the new girl now and about one and a half month he told me that we should move on.

Do you think this is a rebound? do you think i still have chance to get him back? Thanks.
admin

August 25, 2014 at 11:50 am

How long has he beend ating the girl?
m.y.

August 26, 2014 at 2:52 pm

just about a month since they made it official on the facebook, so less than 1 and a half month i guess..

Do you think it’s a rebound or not?
m.y.

August 20, 2014 at 12:23 am

and how long NC I should apply? Thanks.
admin

August 25, 2014 at 11:51 am

However long you think is necessary.

21 days, 30 days, 45 days.

It all depends on your situation.

April

August 17, 2014 at 1:26 am

Hi Chris

So, my ex and I have been broken up now for about two months now and he stated he just wanted to be friends. I did the 30 day no contact and he started dating someone else within a few days of him breaking up with me. But she is going away in a few weeks, and due to long distance, the general thinking is they are not going to last long (this is among mutual friends).

So, lately, as the day the girl he is with is moving leaves moves closer, something strange has been happening. A friend tagged me in a picture on facebook, and neither of us are in it, just an image of this tea we both discovered we liked. He and my friends are a bit at odds since the break up but he commented on the status saying he wanted some and when I told him I might pick him up one next time I see him, he did the “:)” face.

Then, I put up a status on facebook, being sick in bed and my dad not being the most supportive person, I just put a sentence status gently venting my frustrations. He comments and asks whats wrong. So I explain it was just my dad. He said “ah” and in a new status underneath asked if I was stuck at home, and that I was always welcome “here”. “Here” is the house of the girl he is with (I don’t think his house since she stayed the night for a week and i know from experience that his parents don’t like a lot of people over). I stated that I’m not suppose to leave the bed for a minimum of 2 days and my dad was using the car.

He made a “:<" face, and when i said he could still text/skype me he said "ok". He has yet to do that 😛

My question is, why would he invite me over to the house of the girl he is with, and does his comments mean anything?

admin

August 18, 2014 at 12:58 pm

Did he know this girl while the two of of you were dating?
April

August 19, 2014 at 1:34 am

Yeah, we both did, met her the same night before my ex and I dated. We hung out at her family’s house a lot on weekends (mainly because their basement could hold 8 of us). She wasn’t the greatest friend to me (for reasons other than breaking the bro code). My ex keeps telling me that she wants to be my friend and she is just worried that I’m mad at her. While I am mad, I just don’t want to be her friend because she never really treated me like one, even telling other friends (when my ex is not around) that she doesn’t care how I am feeling. There are a lot of rumors going around about things she’s said, and she is just the type of person I would want to be affiliated with.

She was always really clingy to my ex while we are dating too, but other friends told me that’s just how she was. So I kinda let it slide. (Kinda wish I didn’t now, but the past is the past).
admin

August 19, 2014 at 2:31 pm

Shes not a friend to you then…
April

August 21, 2014 at 2:08 am

I agree. Hense why I find every excuse not to speak or see her. But do you think those messages mean something? We talked on the phone the other night, and she suddenly skype called him. He put me on mute, and when he came back on, I could hear him saying to just give him a minute and he told me he would call me back. We did call me back a few hours later and acted like nothing happened.

Tiffany

August 15, 2014 at 5:12 pm

My ex of 8 years and I broke up almost 2 years ago. He BEGGED me to come back to him last fall, but I refused because I was in a new relationship, and I thought I’d found my prince charming. WRONG! My ex started dating someone last Spring, and they are still together and seems like they are pretty serious. It’s driving me absolutely nuts. He cheated on me the entire time we were together, and now he’s being faithful to this girl who put in zero effort.

My ex and I have 2 kids together, so the no contact rule won’t work, but I’m thinking I could possibly do the 30 days NC and only talk to him about necessities (i.e. the kids) instead of saying all the mean things about his new gf that I can possibly think of. (Awful mistake, I know). Hindsight is 20/20. I don’t know if I’ll be successful, but I’m trying to be patient. I want my family back…and my kids deserve to have their parents together.

I’ve already broken all kinds of rules, but I will regroup and move forward from here. Great articles, and any advice will be appreciated.

Tiffany

admin

August 18, 2014 at 12:18 pm

He was probably offended that you denied him when he tried to get you back. Thought, if he cheated on you as much as you say then history is more than likely to repeat itself in this case I think.

Aliice

August 15, 2014 at 1:09 pm

so my boyfriend is back but he only wants me as a friend, and he has a new girlfriend as well, what do I do? do I accept his friendship?
Emily

August 8, 2014 at 4:12 am

Hi Chris,

After 2 months’ silence. I texted my ex again. He started dating his colleague about a week after we broke up( we have been dating for 6 years). I am not sure if he is still dating her. But he replied my text, in a friendly way. I texted him around 2 times a week. Every time i started the conversation, he replied but never ask me questions other than the 1st text where he ask How I’m doing and ask about our dog.
Other than that we just talked about random stuff.

Do you think he friend zoned me? Do u think i should stop initiating conversation with him? Am i making myself too available?

I just dont know what i should do, as we have been together so long, i really want us to work again.

Thanks!

admin

August 11, 2014 at 11:28 am

Let me ask you this. Even though you are the one initiating the conversations how long do the conversations tend to last?
Emily

August 12, 2014 at 12:55 am

they are very short… about 2 sentence each.
and it’s not a good sign right?

katy

July 30, 2014 at 3:55 pm

Hi, I started texting with my ex again after half a year of silence now. We are just talking about random stuff to get uesed to talking again. His answers are really nice and he uses a lot of smilies again (he didn’t do that for a while). All this sounds really great, but there is something that makes me worried:
It takes him 4-14h to reply (I can see that he is online several times during this time) and he doesn’t ask me any questions at all.
Why does he do that and what could I do to improve my situation?

thank you

admin

August 4, 2014 at 1:42 pm

Half a year of No Contact. Does he still have the girlfriend?
katy

August 4, 2014 at 6:55 pm

I don’t know, maybe he doesn’t because otherwise he wouldnt have sent me pictures and videos…but replies friends imediately and lets me wait (long)

Emer

July 27, 2014 at 5:08 am

Hi Chris,

So, my ex and a not-so-friend (as she slept with him the night we broke up and lied to my face about it) are becoming “official” but not in a “boyfriend/girlfriend” type way. They are entering a “dom/sub” type relationship (they apparently described it more as “business” but whatever). She apparently plana on cutting(/cutting down) contact with him once she goes to college in about 5 weeks.

At this point, while I do still want him back, and I still think this not-so-friend of mine entering this relationship with she is using him, I’m at the point where if we never got back together romantically, then I’m fine just being a friend, and its his loss.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to try.

He and I have hung out in group situations after the 30 day NC. We hung out alone once and that was really just us talking about random things. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he didn’t tell me to move. I had a small break down the other day (due to stress outside of my love life and him) and he helped me clean up and held me. Not-so-friend was there too, and she didn’t look to happy when he went to help me, but didn’t stop him. He told me he wished he could do more to help me, petting my hair and holding me.

He has been giving me so many mixed signals, flirting with me and making comments about some things (other people have pointed these out to me) , and this “announcement” confuses me even more. What is your take and how do you think I should approach this?

admin

July 28, 2014 at 2:44 pm

OMG… that is horrible.

Horrible that both of them did that.

Are you sure they didn’t cheat on you before you broke up?
Emer

July 30, 2014 at 4:45 am

Hi again! I am warning you right now, this is going to be a long message.

I am quite positive he didn’t cheat on me when we were together. Mainly, because there was very, very little opportunity for them to do so. She does not drive and if he wants her to hang out with him, I was asked to drive her out to see him then drive her home.

When they did have time alone together, I still doubt that they cheated on me. I have been cheated on in the past, and none of the signs that I have seen were shown. It was admitted to me that, the night he broke up with me, he got drunk and came on to her (and I do know that when he gets really drunk, he does tend to do that, but will stop if you tell him to). She (who I had a problem with even during our relationship due to her clinginess to him but because we stayed in her home on weekends, I had to just put up with it for the most part) just “let it happen”.

Sadly, there was another incident. I was told to my face what they were doing (making it official) when we were hanging out with a large group of friends, as if it was no big deal. I personally had just gotten back from a “date” with a friend (in quotations because neither of us seemed to know if it was actually a date or not lol) and I had to excuse myself from the group, as I did not want to break down again in front of them. Sadly, when I had called a friend to explain what had happened, she called my ex and went off on him. He called me 9 times before leaving a message to call me back. We ended up talking on the phone and the words “I love you” came out of my mouth. He kept apologizing over and over and I told him that I wasn’t going to be able to talk to him again for awhile.

I went to a friend’s and she and her fiancee helped me calm down. Apparently, I had given my ex a panic attack because he thought I was going to do something dumb. Though it was confirmed by 4 different people I was fine, me and my friends decided it would be a good idea for me to stop by and prove that I really was fine. We stayed there for an hour or so. He hugged me for a long time, pet my hair and made me eat (something he has always done because I have a terrible habit of not eating just because I run around so much because of my job). As we were leaving, we hugged for a long time again, promising each other that if either of us thought of doing something dumb, to tell the other.

I did however make it very clear that I probably would not contact him for a week or two unless it was an emergency. (Within an hour after leaving, he posted a status saying he was feeling depressed).

That night, after my friends got married (hence why I was with them in the first place), I had rehearsal with my acting group. There, I reconnected with an old cast mate. To say there was flirting is an understatement and it was just really nice to see him again. When I left, he invited me to his house to go stargazing with a group of friends this coming weekend.

When my other friends found out, they began to poke at me to go out with this guy (something I am still considering doing, because he is the type of guy every girl wants to be with…and even some guys!). I posted a thing on Facebook about how my cheeks were hurting from smiling so much, and a few hours later, my ex sends me a message. It was tedious, asking how I made my deviled eggs (a family secret so I didn’t tell). I happened to reply and when I got online with a few other friends to roleplay with them (because we are dorks and I didn’t know he was on), he asked if he could create a back story to connect our characters.

I do not plan on replying to him from now on if he tries to contact me for a good while.

Not-so-friend has also been super friendly with me too, which is weird, as she never really talked to me outside when we are in a group.

So, lots of things happened since I posted last. I do plan on going stargazing if I have the gas money. But, I have no idea what is going on. Does any of his actions strike you as something? How long do you think I should go on NC again, if at all?

Thank you so much in advance ^^
admin

July 30, 2014 at 4:24 pm

I am disappointed that he didn’t end his relationship with her when you spoke up and said you didn’t like her. A good boyfriend/husband should be willing to do that.
Emer

July 31, 2014 at 12:31 pm

In his defense, I never said I didn’t like her. I just didn’t like that she clung to him all the time. I was still her friend at the time too. And I told them both this, and he did try to adjust.

But I do wish he could have tried harder, but there was only so much to be done.

Other than her clinging on him, our relationship was very good. No big arguments, some little snips here and there but 90% of the time, it was good.
admin

August 4, 2014 at 2:20 pm

In my experience it isn’t good when a girl (whose not his gf) hangs on to him all the time. I have seen way too many stories that prove this never ends well.
Emer

August 5, 2014 at 1:54 am

This I agree. Do you have any suggestions on how to approach this? Last time I saw him, he saw me flirt-texting a guy we both know. He jumped up and hugged me, saying he was really happy for me, but then for the rest of the night was really cold and angry with me. With the girl he was with right next to him.

Do you have any idea where to go from here?
admin

August 6, 2014 at 2:28 pm

Flirt texting?

Explain that to me. How did he know?
Emer

August 7, 2014 at 6:15 am

Flirt-texting in the sense of, the person I was texting was being rather suggestive about things he might be interested in doing to me (aka, he kinda wanted to sext me). I apparently blushed (and when I blush, you notice, I’m that pale) and a friend (because all my friends are nosey) looked over my shoulder to look at the message (I had no idea she was behind me) and said something like “Isn’t (insert guys’s name here) that really hot guy you worked with? Are you flirting with him?”

That was when my ex clarified that it was who I was talking to, got up all excited to hug me and say he was happy for me, then he was cold/mean the rest of the evening to me.

I really don’t understand his reaction, or where to go from here. I’m confused more than anything.
Emer

August 16, 2014 at 10:52 pm

Do you think I should wait to begin trying to implement those techniques after the girl he is sleeping with goes off to college? Or before?
Emer

August 13, 2014 at 2:43 pm

That seems to get the general idea people have been telling me. The other is he is just being friendly and wanting to talk about something.

My mind kinda wants to go with the jealous explanation.

I wasn’t trying to make him jealous at this time. But every time I’ve gone on a date since the break up (I ask friends for help on what to do on outfits and things because I am terrible at fashion) he has found out about it and ask how it has gone.

I have read your article on jealousy, and it is very insightful. A part of me wants to try some of the things there to actively try to make him jealous. Do you think that would be a good start?
admin

August 14, 2014 at 11:06 am

I would be really careful about how you choose to make him jealous but yes, it can be very effective.
Emer

August 13, 2014 at 2:16 am

(Reply to Admin 8/11)

I guess? I really don’t know. But he kept telling me the things he and the girl he is with “talk about” (aka sext/rp) even before I began talking to this guy like this. I keep getting the “I don’t care” signs and the “I totally care” signs. Things are just very confusing right now. He keeps posting things saying that he girl he is with is being “super cute” and things of this nature. Telling me all the activities they are doing together, stuff like that.

I can’t quite get a read on him. Kinda stuck on where to go from here.
admin

August 13, 2014 at 2:08 pm

Is he trying to make you jealous?
admin

August 11, 2014 at 11:21 am

You can imagine why he was upset about some other guy wanted to “sext” you though right?

meriem

July 21, 2014 at 9:01 pm

hi chris i want to ask you something my boyfriend and i broke up yesterday he said he just don’t feel the same anymore and i said ok he said we are not lovers but we should not be enemies i said that’s right soi’m doing no contact he doesn’t infriend me on fb and today he left me a msg on fb saying hellow i wasn’t there but when i saw the msg i got confused what he’s thinking to do that now and what should i do now read the msg and not respond then he will see that i read it and i didn’t respond sp he will think that i’m too upset or i don’t read it and leave him thinking that i didn’t log in so he will be wondering where is she because i usually check my fb everyday

admin

July 22, 2014 at 2:29 pm

You are just following NC…
meriem

July 22, 2014 at 3:37 pm

yes i’m continuing my no contact my question should i read his fb msg and leave the seen mark to him so he can see that i’m ignoring him or i should not read the msg at all so he will be wondering why i didn’t login fb and my be that will push him to call me so i can ignore his calls too i make him angry as you said before !!!!!!!
meriem

July 24, 2014 at 7:50 pm

plz answer me i’m now in my 5 day no contact and i log in to fb to see if he’s missing me aparantly no because he has been posting and liking funny pictures and talking to the one girl that i told him not to when we were together because i felt like she was traying to take him from me what do you think is he actually missing me and making me jelouse by talking to her or he just don’t care about me!!!!!!

Chrissy g p

July 21, 2014 at 11:58 am

Btw I have really tried to move on..go out a lot.havent thought much or cried since. But just wondering why he is doing this.she was gone two months. He said she was an ex and now she is back.living with him.they hung out once at his place “playing video games” wo my consent while we were still together.so total disregard him knowing my position on that and wouldn’t have mentioned if I hadn’t found clues of another female there, emotional and relationship immaturity. His mum said I was his first real relationship as a girl there for all the right genuine reasons.caring in every single way. That he prob doesn’t know how to handle it..? Anyway he is almost 28 now. She is 24. although they were living together day after breakup,, I don’t think it’s a rebound bc it’ll be six months. I’m sure it’ll go on for longer…so confused.
Chrissy g p

July 21, 2014 at 11:47 am

Last mtg w ex..he planned a meetup for drinks and catch up. Didn’t commit.ignored my attempts to get ahold of him the day he said he was free.i went over after ample amt of notification text n call saying in now coming over due to lack of response. That night chatted.friendly asked about his girlfriend.he said she was an ex bc she left for a job. Cordial ending, kinda awkward bc he believes I showed up unannounced where really I gave notice and it wS a day he set aside to meet.confused. Anyway ended ok.Month and a half later after no talking, he texts back saying “i know we used to eat here there also your dad’s fave place, but this place is better..they also have….a favorite thing of mine.. Asks how I’m doing, I respond, goin about doin things here and there”I responded short ands neutral.didn’t respond right away.cordial fifteen min after last text he calls, full ring but doesn’t leave voicemail.texts back saying sry..butt dial”.all a day before her bday.. Then I see as of today exactly a day later, the girlfriend is back at his place..also bc I ran into her at a store. Why would he contact me and lie about her being an ex? Pls respond Chris. I’m just trying to understand why ppl do this.once I found out I just sent a random text saying wow. He sent back” ?” I’m Not engaging since.

Chrissy g p

July 21, 2014 at 6:45 pm

Any thoughts please… Chris? Just trying hard to understand

Narlea

July 18, 2014 at 6:14 pm

Hi ok my husband and I have been seperated for a year now he cheated on me in June last year with the girl he’s with now.We have two kids. We were keeping in touch till feb this year and it stopped..I would text asking if things were alright why dosent he reply back?! I know he’s with that girl but I’m still his wife and trying to keep communication civil for the sake of our kids.Last month he found out I was talking to a old flame,he didn’t like it at all started saying I miss you and the kids/I won’t sign the divorce paper/when I come back he wants to work things out you know the whole regret bull kaka(haha) neways after a couple of calls he stopped! See I believe in action speaks louder than words.My question is should I enforce contacting him since he opened up his feelings but I don’t want to come off as desperate/gullible OR should I just stick to NC rule what do you reckon in my situation?!!

admin

July 21, 2014 at 3:09 pm

He doesn’t even see your kids??

So, he sees you chatting up another man and all of a sudden he wants you again? Is that what happened?

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