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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Post categories
alice
July 14, 2014 at 2:24 pm
What if he answers a few times/days after nc but stops then? (he has a new girlfriend.) When do I have to give up contacting him? 🙁
alice
July 14, 2014 at 3:48 pm
Please… I don’t want to reduce my chances even more by contacting (and annoying?) him too often 🙁
jess
July 9, 2014 at 6:32 pm
Basically me and my ex broke up for the second time just over a month ago. He’s text me a few times and now wants to meet up because he still has a lot to say. The thing is I know he’s seeing other girls and doing things with them that he never did with me…(after only 3 weeks!) It hurts so bad and I feel ao humiliated for giving him the time of day. Part of me wants him back but the other half wants to punch him repeatedly in the face. He was very controlling and manipulating but I can’t seem to let go. He’s made me feel like I can’t get anyone else and I just feel so shit about myself. I guess I just want a male opinion on what is going through his head that he has a lot to say still? Surely he must be over me or does he want closure so he can get over me? The selfish side of me doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction.
Jess x
admin
July 10, 2014 at 2:23 pm
Wait… is he actually dating another girl or just going out and seeing them?
just confused
July 9, 2014 at 3:33 pm
hi, this is kind of like the final straw for me, I have been split from my ex boyfriend of 2 and a half years for just over 12 months now and to be honest I thought things would of resolved between us by now. we broke up because I was experiencing some tough times which had a massive impact on my confidence and independence, so in a way I probably did become less attractive to him which sparked arguments (we never argued untill this point) and a few things lead me to believe that he was actually more interested in somebody else. about 3-4 weeks after we broke up, he began to get close to the exact girl I was worried he had a thing for, so feeling I had been lied to, my emotions were all over the place, so I ended up doing something which I have never decided is a good or a very bad move, but because we both share the same hobby and actually have no choice but to see each other on a weekly basis, I decided to make him jealous by rubbing another guy (whom he is not fond of) in his face, I wasn’t dating this other guy we were just good friends but still it planted the seed, and on the same day, my ex made it official with this other girl….which suggests to me he was intimidated by the thought that I had moved on already (which of course I hadn’t) however since then all I could of done is stand back and observe their relationship, which has been painful as I mentioned I see them both on a weekly basis. but it would seem to me that their relationship doesn’t even touch what we had together, even in the honeymoon period they don’t hold hands, kiss, hug, look at each other they don’t even talk to each other most times its extremely odd, at first I thought that maybe they were just making an effort not to do it infront of me, but I have had others confirm they are like that regardless of my presence, yet soon they will of been together a year! I have only just recently starting talking with my ex again, and although from the ‘no contact stage’ I still have him blocked on social networking sites and I don’t have his number, when we see each other which is quite regularly, we actually hold a really good conversation we have even subcociously started to reflect on our good times together, and when we arnt talking I do catch him looking at me from afar. I don’t mean to sound big headed but I am an attractive person, whereas his new girlfriend although she seems nice (she keeps trying to befriend me) shes neither attractive or due to her young age (shes quite abit younger than myself and my ex) shes also clingy and needy which I know he cant stand….so why is he still with her ? I have been told their relationship has been on the rocks a few times now but they have never actually broken up, but still it drives me mad, I seem to be able to attract any guy to me that I want, expect for him…I guess I just don’t know what the next step is from here, could you possibly help ?
admin
July 10, 2014 at 2:15 pm
Well, right now you have to determine whether or not he is worth even trying to get back.
just confused
July 10, 2014 at 5:38 pm
well obviously family and friends have strong opinions on me wanting him back, a lot of them really dislike him after the way he handled the breakup. but the truth is I have tried, I have truly tried to try and move on, and in these past 12 months I have been through quite a few and the ones I did decide to pursue a relationship with didn’t last long, as I soon realized they were no where near the standard my ex set. I have to do what makes me happy, im not in it to please anyone else, and I have decided this is what I want, I want him back, nothing else has worked for me since him because I simply feel I have unfinished business with my ex that I cant let go of. it just kills me to see him wasting his time on someone he clearly has no interest in,probably just for the sake of being stubborn, not wanting to swallow his pride and admit he regrets breaking up with me. I just don’t know how to get a man to swallow his pride for me…or in reality if any man ever does that for a girl ?
lea
July 8, 2014 at 3:20 pm
He broke up 8 months ago know .After a longer nc (3 months) we texted about the world cup twice and after a match between our different countries he even texted me (but didn’t reply to my answer). Now the world cup is almost over and I don’t know what to talk about next (it still has to be uncontroversial otherwise he won’t answer). Your suggestions above still seem too personal at the moment (I’m not sure…maybe he is still with his new girlfriend). 🙁
And I don’t know how to stop the conversation because we just text now and then spread over the entire day. So I can’t say that I e.g. have to go now to meet friends.
Please help me; About what can I talk to him and how can I stop the conversation?
admin
July 9, 2014 at 2:10 pm
I would find out if he was with the new girlfriend or not.
lea
July 9, 2014 at 2:50 pm
I know that I should find that out, but I can’t, he would notice that I’m spying on him. However, he’s not very responsive when we’re texting, so maybe he still is with her. What do you think?
I’m always scared to annoy him when I text him about different things “all the time”. How do I know if it’s annoying him?
admin
July 10, 2014 at 2:08 pm
He wouldnt respond haha.
alice
July 15, 2014 at 5:14 pm
Great! 🙁 he just stopped responding… it was the fourth time I contacted him after nc and he just didn’t answer (and is not going to. The topic was really uncontroversial though.) Before he even contacted me once, but then didn’t respond to my answer as well. I actually have so many topics to talk about to him now…
what does his “reaction” mean? Should I try again?/when? (This happend to me once or twice already)
admin
July 16, 2014 at 2:41 pm
Did he respond to a conversation starter and you just couldn’t keep him hooked?
lea
July 16, 2014 at 2:48 pm
No, he didn’t even respond to the starter. 🙁 can i try again in a few days?
admin
July 18, 2014 at 2:47 pm
I would say yes!
Louise
July 8, 2014 at 12:21 am
Hi Chris,
I wrote you an email in another section about seeing my ex boyfriend who is still dating his gf who he got together with after me and they are now living together after what i feel is such a short time. You suggested i read through this but i feel as though over the 9 or so months we have been separated i have done all of the above to get myself as far as seeing and talking to him again, so i am still a little unsure as to what i do in this situation. Should i do the no contact rule again? I’m confused as to how i play this one out. I don’t know if he is using me or its something more. I know your probably super busy but if you have any time could you perhaps explain to me a little why a guy would do this seeing as you are a guy haha
Thanks
admin
July 8, 2014 at 2:30 pm
Ok, what specifically do you need my “man” opinion on haha?
Louise
July 10, 2014 at 12:50 am
hmm well whats your man opinion on this one? because what hes doing i consider cheating on his girlfriend. Which either means he cant be that happy or hes just a dick and wants to have his cake and eat it too :/ I don’t want to be the “other woman” if you know what i mean i want to be “the woman” haha. Do i cut it off or play it cool for a little longer?
Thanks in advance!
admin
July 10, 2014 at 2:32 pm
I agree. I consider it cheating too.
Honestly, if I was in your position I would cut it off.
Lauren
July 3, 2014 at 11:08 am
My boyfriend took his time breaking up with me – about a month ‘thinking’, but throughout that entire time he was hanging out with a girl that he works and goes to uni with and she had been around for about six months prior – we had had disagreements about how close they were in the past – So i would say within a week after we ‘officially’ broke up, she was posting pictures of the two of them together. We were together for 2 years but we kept it to ourselves so I don’t even think the new girl knows I exist and he has blocked me from instagram – the only indicator that they are together. I feel like the way we left things he will only be able to think of the negative aspects of our relationship, as he chose to confide in her instead even when we were together. I have met up with his mother a few times as she was like a mother to me, and she has confirmed they are together constantly and he has no interest in talking to me. REALLY not sure what I should do, if I should even bother, I love him very much and want him to be happy, I wouldn’t even mind if they continued dating and we were just friends, I simply miss him in my life as we never got a chance to talk about our break up or why it happened and it literally just rose from a fight and came from almost nowhere, but I have a feeling he is very angry at me and will/has avoided any contact I have made.
admin
July 7, 2014 at 5:36 pm
But you ultimately want him back right?
kim
June 20, 2014 at 1:00 pm
he broke up with me almost 8 months ago and shortly afterwards he stared dating another girl and I THINK they are still dating 🙁 I did nc and contacted him a couple of times, but he rejected me because of his new girlfriend. Then I stopped texting him…that was almost 3 months ago now. Now, I’d like to write him again (maybe they broke up or it’s finally okay for him to talk with me). Do you think that’s a good idea? I’d like to start with talking about the world cup, because it’s an easy topic and he’s from another country (so it might be interesting). I just don’t know when it’s the right moment.
What do you think?
Irina
June 18, 2014 at 2:24 pm
Hi, Chris,
I have written before but you never answered. Never mind, I tried taking your advice, but am still where I left off – not with him.
Here’s the complicated situation:
My ex had a girlfriend and they broke up because of the long distance. Let’s call her E for an easier explanation. He met me 3 months after he broke up with her. We hooked up after another 3 months. After that we dated for about 8 months. But he never stopped thinking about E the whole time, even though I did not know that. Now, I am positive he loves me, but he never gave it his all with me, considering his thoughts and heart were full already. Eventually, he heard E was coming back to the country for a while, so he decided to brake up with me (but he gave me the it’s not you it’s me explanation, he did not tell me about E). 3 months after that E came back and they hooked up again. BUT! He is still trying to stay close with me, he calls me out AND he doesn’t tell her when we meet for fear she might be jelous. Now, I know him, and he is treating me in a very special way. I know how he treats his friends, he treats me differently. And there is still a lot of sexual tention there. So the thing is this. He is going away with E to England, where he will be studying for a year. But is still keeping in touch with me and asking me out for coffee and catching up every couple of weeks. What should I do. I am terribly hurt he never gave me a real chance to beat her, because I never knew she existed until they hooked up again and I saw their picture on the internet. And now I feel like the places are reversed for me and E. Do you think I have a shot after an year, or am I holding on too tightly and refusing to admit I have lost. I was willing to give everything for that guy, but I have that general problem of putting others’s needs ahead of my own and eventually someone else usually takes what I want. Even he admits that he took advantage of me because I let him do it (he actually blamed me for letting him do whatever he wanted).
admin
June 20, 2014 at 7:00 pm
Sorry I didn’t answer…
Im going to be honest with you. If it has been a year since youve broken up with him the chances will be a bit lower.
Nicole
June 18, 2014 at 3:45 am
Hi so me and my ex broke up a little over a year ago. He started dating this girl like two weeks after and is still with her. In like December we started talking again and haven’t stopped since. We’ve seen each other twice already and when we talk its like old times. We text multiple times a week with normally him texting first and that generally goes well. I just don’t know if he really does still love me or if I’m anywhere close to us getting back together ?
admin
June 18, 2014 at 1:51 pm
Is he dating the new girl?
Nicole
June 18, 2014 at 1:57 pm
Yes he is
Son21
June 17, 2014 at 1:41 am
Hi there!
Really helpful article would just like your take on my situation! I met my ex when he was still in a relationship (not great I know but they were having problems before we met) after he ended the relationship! We got together but after a while he felt he needed space after his relationship ending! I have h this an hoped we could sort it but wanted to give him space an not pressure him. We stayed in touch an hooked up a few times! He is now seeing someone else and I am devestated! Do you think you plan could help? X
admin
June 17, 2014 at 8:49 pm
Hooked up a few times?
Son21
June 18, 2014 at 12:54 pm
Met up and had sex! I keep seeing pics of him with this other girl looking so happy is it too late?
admin
June 18, 2014 at 1:24 pm
Umm… I have specified NOT to do that…
Rose
June 12, 2014 at 8:50 pm
Hello,
I will keep my post as short as possible. My Ex and I lived together for 4 years. As far as I was concerned we were happy, loved each other very much, got along well and rarely argued. About a month ago completely out of the blue, no fighting or anything going on, he tells me that he no longer feels as he did for me before and was moving out. That he just needed to be by himself. I asked multiple times if there was someone else and he denied it vehemently. Says he doesn’t want to be with anyone. I panicked! and even though I know it’s not right I looked thru his email and found out he has been getting to know someone from work for a while now and they have been out together basically since the day he moved out. Probably before that but I have no proof. I love him very much and want him back. I’ve been reading your posts and am considering purchasing your guide. I’ve been in modified No Contact (since we have a lease, shared household bills and 25% of his belonging are still here) for the past 3 weeks. Would love to hear your thoughts and advise on my specific situation. Also wondering if along with the no contact rule I should remove him from all my social media like Facebook, foursquare…) Thanks!
admin
June 15, 2014 at 3:43 pm
Yup, modified NC is best for your particular situation I feel.
reka
June 11, 2014 at 6:16 pm
can i still get my ex back if i av already messed things up by crying n pleading n probably pushing him away?..he ended things with me about 8 months ago to b with his ex.he was never happy with her he always said he wished he met me 1st but after a month of long distance he ended things with me to work things out with her..we were sooo good together.. always happy there was no dull moment..he always said i brought out some parts of him he didnt know he had…i love him soo much even though he didnt treat me fair..we will be in the same country again in 3months and she will b bck at home…i think iv done all the desperate things.. all the long endless msgs n all that n i already regreat…pls tell me there is a way of fixing things
admin
June 15, 2014 at 3:08 pm
Yes, its possible but stop coming off so desperate.
reka
June 19, 2014 at 10:43 am
i stoped all that after reading your piece but i dont know wht to do
aina
June 10, 2014 at 3:03 pm
what if he is dating an old girlfriend ? do i still have a chance
admin
June 11, 2014 at 4:22 pm
Of course, remember he broke up with that old gf once upon a time.
lea
June 9, 2014 at 2:17 pm
hi,
after he “finally” (after some months of texting now and then) texted me that he has a girlfriend I stopped contacting him because he definitely didn’t want to talk with me. So I haven’t been texting him for 2 months now. Of course he didn’t reach out, he liked my new profile picture on fb, though. I think he and his girlfriend started dating soon after he broke up with me 7 months ago now and I don’t know if they are still dating (and I can’t really find out). When he broke up with me he said we could meet if I decide to spend my gap year near his home (it was a LDR and that was the reason for breaking up), but now he obviously doesn’t want that anymore. In August I’ll move closer to him and I’d like to contact him, but I don’t want to seem desperate and I can’t find a good reason (what I can tell him).
For how long should I continue my NC … until August? What can I write him (any topics)?
If it’s not working, I’d also be happy to have him as a friend. But he doesn’t think that this would work … any tips?
admin
June 9, 2014 at 3:36 pm
Hes still dating the girl?
lea
June 9, 2014 at 3:51 pm
I don’t know…two months ago he still did.
But I’m just wondering when/if/what I can text him
Kahlan
June 9, 2014 at 2:17 am
What does it mean when a guy likes almost every one of a girl’s instagram photos? What about facebook photos and statuses? Am I thinking too much? Is this desperation getting the better of me ):
Thanks!
admin
June 9, 2014 at 3:14 pm
It means he probably likes her.
Kahlan
June 10, 2014 at 2:33 am
Really? Even if they met for less than a week?
admin
June 10, 2014 at 4:00 pm
What do you mean?
KC
June 3, 2014 at 2:58 pm
Chris–
I don’t know where to start. I want my ex boyfriend back. We broke up almost a year ago. We have been in contact on and off since January. Saw each other once(hooked-up) mistake I know. He has told me through a text two weeks ago he only wants us to be friends.
How do I go about getting him back or where should I start…ugh!
KC
admin
June 5, 2014 at 5:30 pm
Have you been together since the initial hook up?
Chris
May 29, 2014 at 2:36 pm
For real? He got engaged after 3 months!! He only met her 5 times. 5 months ago we ended our relationship and now he’s engaged to her.
The worst part is: im dating this guy and he’s ready to propose and is professing his love and its only been a month. Wtf. I need a year and maybe counseling lol. Great guy, I’m just still in love with my ex.
I did everything right. This just sucks. Your book was great though! I got men wanting to propose lol just not him. Ugh.
cris
May 31, 2014 at 5:41 pm
sorry to intrude. but… a guy proposing after a month… i’ve been there and it went like this:
“i love you, you’re sad about your ex, i want to strangle you! die bitch! oh, i love you, you’re wonderful, let me love you and prove to you you’re the best i’ve ever had!
you’re a bitch! why the f do you still think about him? i will destroy you!
i love you!”
please be careful and do not take a leap in that. it has costed me my health and probably my ex.
Chris
June 11, 2014 at 8:46 pm
I’m not. Marriage isn’t a race. It’s a lifelong marathon and a huge decision.
My current b/f doesn’t know about my ex or how I still have feelings for my ex. My ex won’t even talk to me. I’ve tried everything. I kinda just given up.
If he wants to be married to someone he’s barely known so be it, it’s his life… I can’t control it.
Chris
June 11, 2014 at 8:47 pm
and um…. my b/f now has not been in any way shape or form like what you described. I WILL not.
admin
May 31, 2014 at 3:37 pm
3 months… and already engaged. WOW…
I am so sorry. But if there is a silver lining its that they didn’t have a lot of time to get to know one another.
Chris
June 11, 2014 at 9:34 pm
I think about our first date and… I wasn’t even sure I would have a second date with him and he kept pushing for me to date him. Then, he made me fall madly in love with him and then one day said “I’m not ready for marriage… he needs time/space”. 5 months later he is…
True Wtf moment. He won’t even talk to me. Not one word. I don’t even know what to do with that either. I’m the one who should be mad if anyone…. is he trying to forget me? We had so much fun I thought. I couldn’t imagine our relationship was THAT bad.
Personally even if their relationship falls apart…. I’m not sure I would want him running back to me. I love him but now I’m so mad at him.
I miss him. Most exes were easy to walk away from. Some a little difficult… but this one… I don’t get it. I don’t even know what else to try to even get him to respond back to me.
He hasn’t blocked me. He just doesn’t respond. It’s like I don’t exist and I rather get an angry response than NOTHING.
cris
May 28, 2014 at 4:21 am
signs of desperation: reading the daily and monthly horoscope, paying attention to the positioning of the planets, just to make sure he’s not going to refuse you.
May 28: “It is a great day; you may get back to your ex-love! You had certain difference among yourselves when you split up with your beloved! However you must take time to think about moving in together again as this is not a very good day to reach onto any decision! You will have enough time to work out what ever you have in your mind!”
really stupid, because we’re the same sign. and right now i feel we want different, totally opposed things. so, only one of us can get what one wants.
and since he hasn’t said anything of seeing me before i go out of town, i’m thinking (imagine monster voice)… “he must be trying to date another girl! i hate everyone and i wish the nuclear apocalypse would come sooner”
Q: should i contact him with small amusing texts about my days during congress, which i know he won’t reply on, but will read, or what should i do?
admin
May 28, 2014 at 2:54 pm
I think you should yes.
cris
May 28, 2014 at 6:21 pm
10x
you really sound like mafalda, the greek fortune teller, that used no intonation or pronounciation sign. which makes it difficult for the ones asking the question to tell a definitive answer.
but that’s love and all the insecurities it gives, right?
admin
May 31, 2014 at 3:19 pm
mafalda… hahahahaha
Rana
May 27, 2014 at 8:44 am
My boyfriend broke up with me and after all the begging and crying i decided to go for the no contact period he tried once to text me and i replyed and then my sister called him and asked him not to call me again !!
So we didn’t talk for a month..
So what should i do now ?!
And what if that new girlfriend was his ex?!
Just i’ll be thankful if u can reply as soon as possible and i’d really appreciate it..
admin
May 27, 2014 at 2:47 pm
Is the new girl his ex?
Rana
May 29, 2014 at 9:57 am
Yes she is..
And she was a friend of mine before..
Rana
May 29, 2014 at 2:17 pm
Update.. I texted him and he replied with a very nice trxt and told me that he smells my perfume in something i gave him 2 monthes ago and it makes him feel good 🙂
What to do next ?!
Um really grateful for ur concern and ur help thak u so much 🙂
Carol
May 16, 2014 at 12:47 pm
My ex and I have just started talking again (we have known each other for 15 years) after a semi no contact rule since we have a child together. He started coming around to see our daughter more and recently been watching her while I’m at work at my house. . However, I just found out he was a living girlfriend. And allegedly she is understanding and drops him off by my house (2-3 blocks away) and picks him up. We been pretty civil and I keep the conversation all about my daughter and we share laughs and at times reminisce on the past. However, I want him back. Aus there a chance for us?
admin
May 20, 2014 at 8:18 pm
What is your reasoning for wanting him back?