How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has A Girlfriend V. 2.0

1,117 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has A Girlfriend -Version 2.0-”

Stephanie

May 13, 2014 at 1:24 am

I love your site. I would love your input on my specific situation? I dated a guy I work with about a year ago. It was semi serious- but short lived (4 months-ish) I broke up with him– however I almost immediately regretted it (long story). We didn’t speak or even acknowledge one another at work for like 6 months after that. In that time he got back together with an ex girlfriend. He’d told me plenty of stories about her, and she sounded awful. But now I just feel like I was his rebound.

They have been back together several months now. But we have started texting at work again. And just randomly chit chatting. Which is welcomed because we were friends before. He randomly brought me lunch one day recently and that weekend texted me saying his girlfriend broke up with him (apparently because we still talk. But it’s 100% innocent–I was honestly just happy to consider him a friend again and neither of us took it past that). They got back together (again) a few days later.

I do still care for him- but I had given up on him as soon as they got back together the first time. I know if we are going to have any chance I have to just wait it out and let their situation run it’s course. But I really don’t know how to handle it since we see each other every day. And I feel like I had a chance to turn things in my favor the other weekend- but I just don’t know how?

I’m fine just being friends/coworkers. But he says/does things at times— little inside jokes and reminiscing and etc that make me think we could still have a chance. Again- it’s been completely innocent- and I may be looking into it all too much. I am just confused!

admin

May 13, 2014 at 4:57 pm

Your going to have to tell me the long story behind the breakup.
Stephanie

May 13, 2014 at 8:46 pm

Well we had never really gotten in a fight. But man when we did it was bad. We both stayed respectful but we both were/are just stubborn. We both stood our ground and refused to compromise whatsoever. (Me more than him). Although I know a big part of that was that we had both been walked all over in the past…..

I’ll admit that I overreacted by dumping him almost immediately. I still ultimately stand by that decision because we obviously weren’t able to resolve the issue after we both calmed down. But I feel like things could have turned out very differently if I hadn’t jumped to that decision so quickly.

Our relationship was good, and while our breakup wasn’t nasty or anything, we just could’ve and should’ve handled it better.

We went back and forth for a couple weeks. He’d call me crying and then blow me off and I would do the same.

Then I felt like he was trying to string me along a bit— after he stood me up 2 days in a row I was fed up and we stopped speaking all together. A few weeks after that he was publicly seeing his ex again. (They dated for about 6 months the first time…. Had been broken up for 6 months before he and I dated)

I tried to talk to him at work a few times after that just as a friend and he completely ignored me and/or was rude. And then he’d try to be friendly with me a few weeks later and I’d just do the same to him. (It’s pretty childish I know- especially for people in their 30s).

Like I said we went about 6 months not acknowledging the others’ existence.

We finally had a nice (platonic) fb chat around Christmas and and kind of left all the other behind. Well apparently his gf went through his messages and flipped. She messaged me freaking out and deleted me from his Facebook.

I replied very politely only to assure her that I wasn’t trying anything with him (I wasn’t and haven’t). We do still talk/text at work since then. Nothing inappropriate and not any more than we talk to anyone else.

But I guess she still freaks out about me regularly. I’ve honestly kept my distance lately because I don’t want to do anything to cause that. I’m talking like maybe a handful of (work related) texts per week. And as a result I guess that has started to draw him a little closer?? Idk. Like I said. I’m way confused.
admin

May 14, 2014 at 4:03 pm

Just right now be on good terms with him.

LR

May 9, 2014 at 11:46 am

We broke up at the end of March, after like 2 texts and running into him while I was out with friends I’ve been in full NC for three weeks. He has a new girl, they started seeing each other a few days after we broke up (we dated for 2 years btw) so I’m guessing she is a rebound. Anyway she has been texting mean things telling me never to contact him again and that he didn’t love etc and I don’t think my ex knows about it. I haven’t replied to any of her texts either.
Should I tell my ex that she has been texting me or wil that just push him closer into her arms?
I don’t know how to handle the situation cause I dont want to jeopardize my chances of getting him back but if I tell him he might realize she is nuts and leave her. WTF is the better thing to do sansei

admin

May 9, 2014 at 3:46 pm

I think you can tell him if you are kind of non judgemental about it. You might want to save the screenshots so you have proof though.
LR

May 9, 2014 at 4:41 pm

Okay so I did that and he was apologetic about it but he said he confronted her and she denies sending them, even though I did send him screenshots and all.
admin

May 12, 2014 at 5:05 pm

Did he take her side?

Shes kind of crazy huh?
LR

May 13, 2014 at 6:08 am

He naturally took her side! I honestly think he is so smitten with her that nothing I do will have an effect since he would still take her side after everything. He seems really happy and now I’m stuck thinking maybe I should just forget everything even if it’s not what I want to do
admin

May 13, 2014 at 5:33 pm

Eventually he will realize how crazy she is though I bet.
LR

May 9, 2014 at 8:54 pm

Sorry also another Q – how do I approach getting him back now, since I technically broke the no contact and all should I wait another week or so before trying to contact him again or would it be better to wait until the rebound hopefully fizzles out.
admin

May 12, 2014 at 5:07 pm

Yes wait another week.

Chrissy g p

April 30, 2014 at 11:11 am

Lol..So yes I ve been checking to see if u have seen my posts..um April 10 and 13…a rundown of what has been going on in order for u to give the best insight to the last bit I have to share with you….

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:14 pm

I actually haven’t b/c I have been away for the past week.

Hailey

April 29, 2014 at 2:34 pm

Hi Chris, thanks so much for your insights! Your website really calms me down whenever I become emotional!

My story short, I was with my ex for 2 years, broke up two months ago, did NC rule for a month. He contacted me several times during the NC. I know he has been texting/calling/emailing with a girl and she came to visit him in March but not sure if they are dating now.

This weekend I visited his town (we were in the same town and I moved to 3 hours away for my job). Three days before my visit, I sent him good-times texts like you advised. It was to warm up before my visit and I got positive responses. However, when I told him I am visiting the town he came up with excuses to not to meet when he knew I was in his town only for 2 days. Anyway, I met him on Sat morning (and it was very nice talk for about 40 mins) but he did not suggest second date and told me he might be traveling nearby cities that day afternoon and Sunday. I texted him on Sunday casually asking if he is in town. No answer for 3 hours. I called him and he did not get it. A bit later he just answered ‘Not in town at the moment. Have a safe trip back’. A bit later I saw he was in his room and learned that he lied about his trip.

He said he is going somewhere in May for summer vacation and his new girl is in another state so I think he is going to her state to be together (but maybe he is just lying to not meet me if I ever visit his town…?). But if he is really leaving in May, should I visit him once more before he leaves so it is not too late later when he comes back from being with her, OR because it is obvious he doesn’t want to see me should I not see him before he leaves and just keep the texting strategy? The second option, I am afraid I might lose the chance forever..

admin

April 30, 2014 at 1:28 am

So, he is saying that he is moving for this girl?
Hailey

April 30, 2014 at 4:30 am

No, when I asked him where he is going, he said he is going his friend’s town to research together (they are research buddies). Well.. I want to believe it but it took a bit for him to answer that and he has lied before. I am pretty sure by his personality that even if he is really going for her, he won’t tell me the truth.

By the way, I noticed that you always reply with questions rather than answering to our questions. Is that to know the situation better? Or to help us get objective perspectives? I’m not upset, just wondering… 🙂

Chris

April 25, 2014 at 5:52 pm

So b/f and I broke up N. Years officially after a whole lot of I want you back on both sides… then he wanted me to ‘wait’ and I wouldn’t. I made the decision on N. Years. I didn’t fuss at him.

One convo after that he helped me get a hot air balloon ride.

Then I’ve heard nothing from him since. Not one reply at all to my texts. I fulfilled the NC then text and see what happens…. go back into NC…. fulfill that… text … nothing.

They have been in a relationship for 3/4 months dependent upon how soon he started talking to her but in February they met for the 1st time. They are long distance. Since then her world is NOTHING BUT HIM.

His facebook picture however… is still the one I took of him :). I don’t see her anywhere on his facebook page except for the one photo he allowed himself to be tagged in back in February. Now she’s putting up how she is missing him because they haven’t seen each other in two months (though …. I KNOW he has the funds and the time to see her).

He is sending her gifts via mail but though we lived right next to each other… he used to do that for me to.

I still don’t understand why we broke up … 1 disagreement which he harbored feelings (which he didn’t tell me so we could work it out). Then next thing I know a month later he called me ‘needy’ ‘clingy’ and he needed space etc… unlike her… I didn’t post a million things about him, I didn’t blow up his phone. I didn’t tell him I love him. I didn’t talk about the future. We just had fun in the moment. It really was my BEST relationship EVER. I was in love but I figure it was best to save that feeling… until HE got there.

I guess he never got there. He said I was his best relationship ever. HE cared for me…. well until it was ending.

IDK. I still miss him. I dated other people of course. I’ve worked on me. I’m the image of the UG lol. Even though I do spontaneous checks -curiousity kills the cat…. it’s few. I moved on but I haven’t. If I meet a guy, great… let’s see where it goes. Sometimes though… I wish he would still just even be my friend ..

So why won’t he talk to me? Is he THAT in love that talking to me would jeopardize his relationship or could it be something else? We didn’t call each other names or fight or even end on a hateful note. It was more of a lifetime movie network ending… ‘maybe not right now’…

Also, his favorite thing to do is hike/outdoors anything- we actually shared this passion. At the end of December… I’m hiking Kilimajaro (alone with my guide and porter) to raise money for the orphanage/hospital there. Also it’s to prepare me for Everest. It’s been over a month since I last attempted anything (2 attempts in all thus far). Should I text him information on my hike and ask for support (financial and prayer I don’t die lol) 😉 … I could care less if he gives it… but she’s boring… I’m not. I just want him to remember this.

She cute, yet old, 10 years older than both of us… she’s crazy like stage 5 (she has a picture up on her facebook that SHE drew about missing the town he lives in… it’s an animation of a girl crying in her lap with a flower that’s wilted sitting next to a jar for people to throw coins in…. you’re 40… doodles? really? -_- …. they only met TWICE… (I don’t get this relationship)

Crazy part, is that if he’s happy… I will be happy for him, I just wish he could have found that with me… 1st step… I just wish he will even talk to me again…..

Since January we’ve barely talked, it’s almost May. Surely, he can’t hate me that much right?

admin

April 28, 2014 at 4:05 pm

Kilimajaro?

Seriously?

Thats like the most amazing thing I have ever heard.

How long have they been together?
Chrissy g p

April 29, 2014 at 2:30 pm

No advice on April 10and updated 13?plus more once u catch up? Would really appreciate your insight.
Chris not Chris Seiter

April 30, 2014 at 12:13 pm

Buy the Ebook…. it REALLY helps.
admin

April 30, 2014 at 1:41 pm

AMEN!!! Haha.
Chris

April 29, 2014 at 4:03 am

Chyeah! You should come! The best part would be holding the orphans and contributing to the garden that feeds them! Plenty of time to train…. 😉

We broke up January. So they started dating January, but didn’t meet until February???…

May would make 3/4 months. IDK they look happy together. I’m not intimidated by her in the least bit… She has NOTHING on me…. clearly, as I think I have hope lol. I just want him to be happy though…. what kills me is that he looks a lot happier with her than he was with me?

What gets me even worse… is that he does not care about my happiness. At all.

Eh…. I give up. Life is too short… he’s still getting a letter though… 😉
admin

April 30, 2014 at 1:12 am

Hahaha I will leave the hiking up to you!
Chris

April 30, 2014 at 12:12 pm

Yeh I’m not finding any willing participants to climb Kili with me… hahah…

O well… I can be awesome on my own.
admin

April 30, 2014 at 1:42 pm

I am pretty sure you’d end up carrying me to the top… Hiking has never really been my thing but I think its awesome that you are doing it.
Chris not Chris Seiter

May 3, 2014 at 10:07 pm

I can’t carry you and the 40 lbs on my back! I’m not there yet… LOL.

I sent him the letter (first draft actually). I Invited him to come. I told him it was the first draft but I’m working on a group of people going, so I was hoping he would feel adventurous. If not, I told him he is STILL getting a letter at the end of the month LOL (it really is about feed the kids and the orphanage).

If he still doesn’t reply… well then… IDK.
My head wants to move on. My heart is stuck so I guess I will have to drag it like a child in tantrum. I don’t have enough days in my life to be heartbroken. Every day is a grace, I don’t want to spend it trying to figure out how to get someone back in my life who doesn’t want to be there.

I just had an author of a very popular book call me yesterday and we discussed ideas (after I squealed in his ear). I mean hello… I just need to remind myself I’m not the one losing out.
admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:57 pm

I hear you.

Its really tough when your world is turned upside down.

Lea

April 21, 2014 at 4:05 pm

I know I already asked several times, but that’s my last question (attempt). If it’s not working, then I’m going to look for other boys and maybe the time will sort it out anyway. But please tell me what can I do?

I already did two nc-periods and just stared writing with him innocently again some days ago. So today, after anwsering my message, he told me: “Sorry, I don’t know what you are feeling, but I have to tell you that I’m with a girl and it’s going very well.” Some time after the first nc he already told me that we won’t see each other when I’ll be moving closer to him (This summer I will spend my gap year before university near his home…but not (only) because of him), so I already guessed he has a girlfriend.
We have only been a couple for almost 3 months, it was a long distance relationship, which was too difficult for him, so he broke up. That was 5 months ago now. He has approximately been dating his new girlfriend for 3-4 months now, so they started 1-2 months after he broke up with me. We have a lot of good memories, since we met on holiday and traveled to meet each other and we never had a fight. In my opinion we didn’t have a real chance to try it together because of the conditions.
I hope she’s just a rebound, but I don’t know because they have been dating longer than my relationship lasted with him 🙁
Since he has told me about his girlfriend I hadn’t contacted him.
I know you said there is nothing wrong with talking to a boy who has a girlfriend, but he obviously doesn’t want to talk with me (while he has a girlfriend), DOES HE? So I don’t know what to do…SHOULD I just wait until they break up and contact him then? OR should I write him in about one or two months…but then I’m scared that I’ll only push him further away and I think he would know what I want. HOW an I supposed to build up rapport when he doesn’t want to talk?

admin

April 22, 2014 at 4:24 pm

As long as you keep the topics non conterversial but generally speaking it is a bit harder to get a guy with a new girlfriend back.

Let me ask you. Do you think he enjoyed his time in a relationship with you?
Lea

April 22, 2014 at 8:50 pm

Thank for the answer 🙂
So you’re saying that I can contact him before I’ll live close to him and while he still has a girlfriend, but talk about normal stuff like friends would do. Or can I even do what you are talking about in this guide?

Yes, I actually think he enjoyed the time with me…after breaking up he even said that he had a great time with me (he could be lying of course, but I have the impression that he always tries to not hurt me too much). At the beginning of our relationship he also told a friend that he is crazy about me, and he also acted like this for 2/3 of the time of our relationship. And he always said how happy he is and how good he is feeling with me. He visited me once in my country and when I visited him in his country (he had the plan of breaking up already) he payed for everything we did bacause I had to pay the flight. One week later he broke up, saying that the distance is to difficult for him.

Everything seemed so perfect and romantic and now he has a girlfriend…but I’m not sure if she can be a rebound, I guess I’ll see that in the next months. I just hope I’ll see him again (because I worked on my self and I want him to see that). Oh and he’s a bit strict with texting or meeting ex girlfriends while he has a girlfriend (obviously) because he belives ex girl and boyfriend can’t be friends.

My chances of getting him back? ^^
admin

April 23, 2014 at 3:42 pm

Yup thats what I am saying.

You can do what I am talking about in this guide if the situation seems applicable. Your gut may tell you some of the stuff isn’t good so I would say trust your gut.
Lea

April 23, 2014 at 5:02 pm

Ok, thank you so much! Just one more thing because I forgot to write it the last time. Right after breaking up I told him I’m actually thinking about spending my gap year in his country. Then he said that we can drink a coffee when I’m near his town.
Of course he said it 5 months ago and has this new girlfriend, I think it can be really helpful once he broke up with his girlfriend, right?

Andrea

April 21, 2014 at 3:50 pm

I ended things with my boyfriend of a year and a half only two months ago. He’s already in a new relationship and I’m clearly shocked by it because we were still talking and making plans to see each other at times. I even asked him when I was first informed and he denied being in a relationship and acted as if I was so silly for ever even thinking that. I feel like it’s a rebound but I’m afraid to keep telling myself that and it not be. I truly don’t believe someone can unlove that quickly after a year and a half. I just don’t know where to go from here. I feel like if he has someone filling my void then he won’t have the time to think about or miss me. Out of sight out of mind right? I’ve been doing NC and I truly thought he’d reach out by now and hasn’t.
Marie

April 17, 2014 at 9:37 pm

After no contact, i reached out once and got a neutral response, so i waited a week and tried with the “just been thinking lately, and u popped into my head! text and got no response at all…ill slip into no contact for another 2 weeks now, but im losing hope fast… we were together nearly 7 yrs, broke up in december where it was mutual that we just fell apart lost respect for each other etc… 3 months later he got a new girlfriend, they’ve been official for a month now. i know hes extremely stubborn n doesn’t think we will work out because i was so damn needy. that month was the greatest n hardest thing ever but im happy because i am more social now and not as needy. I know he probably doesnt think ive changed n wants it to work with this new gal, but i still really love him. i guess im asking if theres still hope and what kind of text i should send for my third attempt? Im going to work on my facebook as we r still friends n find the perfect profile pic and post my pics of all the fun stuff I’ve done the last month n a half but i didn’t see any suggestions for this stage in the ebook or the other blogs about 3rd texts after a no response. i really want to make this work, but idk what to do anymore as he is very stubborn.

admin

April 18, 2014 at 3:24 pm

Did you try by sending..

Ive been thinking lately…

or did you combine what you were thinking about with the ive been thinking lately text.
Chrissy g p

April 19, 2014 at 3:19 am

Did u not see my post?
admin

April 20, 2014 at 3:29 am

Sorry where is it?

I have a lot of comments to moderate so I ask you to be gentle if your angry I missed it.
Chrissy g p

April 22, 2014 at 4:57 am

Oh not angry.i just really would love your levelheaded insight. It is the long one April 10 and updated April 13. Then after that I have something to add.but u may need time to get started first;)
Marie

April 18, 2014 at 6:55 pm

I just used the” Ive been thinking lately, and you popped into my head” as a single text and got no response. Any suggestions for my third attempt after I wait another two weeks of no contact?? I know he’s stubborn n will be very protective of his new girlfriend even though I have not acknowledged that he’s even dating her now. it would be awesome to see just some sign of interest as Im not ready to give up.

Iris

April 12, 2014 at 5:02 am

Chris I think my ex boyfriend just asked another girl sorta, and secretly in front of me..I don’t think he wanted me to know that he did…be he sorta have away the hint. But why would he ask somewhat when I’m there? You said 3 weeks..well it’s been about 1 month and 1 week..so I don’t know if it’s a rebound relationship or not…please reply..I’m so upset right now…

admin

April 12, 2014 at 4:30 pm

Not so secretive if you are picking up on it haha.

Iris

April 12, 2014 at 4:53 am

Chris..please help me..I think just now he just asked out a girl…and she accepted now they’re dating…I really need help..and yes I’m going to read this article…but why would he ask somewhat in front of me?
Chrissy g p

April 10, 2014 at 12:01 am

Read all of your guides, trying my goddamn hardest to become logical n rational which is why I am seeking your input.I am going to be as straightforward as possible.

First boyfriend(yes I know just listen) of almost three yrs June 21. He 27 myself 23.broke up February 4.
if any disagreement we vowed not to sleep/leave until things were resolved. He treated me in every dream way CONSISTENTLY without me hinting for it or expectations.He has past baggage:though his father was theee most dedicated to his support throughout childhood, all good until he drank.father alcoholic, raised in bars young, tough childhood, insecurities, parents divorced quite young.he had issues with that, even when we started dating I experienced these situations.his family in general:southern love, genuine, tea time, family time, devotion, love, honesty, respect. He realizes and respects those qualities, loves them a lot, but he says he is the black sheep of them all.
MY CULTURE: extremely strict traditional father. Thinks I’m too wild for going to the beach in a bikini.. Yes some comedy here.you r welcome.but it is true. Anyway, I fought for my bf and the traditional expectations crap.my dad hated I always went to him n he didn’t pick me up( we only had a day off a week so I didn’t see it as much n honestly you don’t want to spend time together with parents around.we did see eachother an hour after work (late) to cuddle and talk. My father finally set aside his expectations and stared my bf straight in the eye “all I want is u to take care n love my baby girl.” My bf shook his hand saying yes sir. He knows how much that means to my father.
CLINGINESS: yes.me at one point. When he needed space we discussed my reasons were for his best interest, me looking out for him. I am not a high maintenance all deserving girlfriend. I gave my all to him in every way not bc I felt I was obligated bc I did it out of genuine love and care. His back problems (herniated bulging disks, messed up spine, muscle spasms from past major injuries prevent him from doing what he loves his job, both of us in culinary field. He had to turn down an exec position bc he couldn’t function, meds messed with his focus,and he forgot things a lot n feel down bc they affect his memory which you need fully in the culinary industry.I feel all his struggles kill his ego(understandable) and due to the stress, can’t do dream job equals no money to support his medical, as you said men become introverts and need time alone in stress. Which when he asked for space before I didn’t realize then. I feel my Clinginess was a factor though thought we clarified it and I worked on it. Day of our breakup Before I knew it was going to happen I thought we were spending time together as usual, I came over cuddling in our blanket and saw long hair(not mine). Then I got up and saw same hair in tie on counter and held it to his face saying”explain” he said I don’t remember. typical.asking again, he explained she was over playing video games (I was never a gamer /anime person but not every relationship has to have every single interest) However, he still wanted space, I gave it to him and feared it gave him time to line up so called girl his coworker was dating at the time(1 1/2 weeks before he broke up with me) his explanation to why she was there.and I said then if his coworker was interested why would she be at your place? ..day after breakup I drove over and saw her car already there his car in the shop so I spouse she drove him,so (few days after breakup) she all of a sudden became available to you for you to kiss her the way you did with your gf of almost three yrs,and give her access to your apt the day after and continuing(I never had that) almost two 1/2 months now. (Finding this the night I came to drop things off but witnessed this (she got there first then he did) all happened in doorway. Tore my heart out so I drove away but came the next night to finish my piece in a very mature manner and drop it all off.he texted saying “I never had that thought until we broke up.i was sad and lonely n there she was. We never did anything when I was with you,I have no reason to lie and never cheated on you.” In my thought, cheating doesn’t have to be physical it is the thought of someone while in a relationship. To have someone the day after..really.I understand we are done, going through the emotions but I feel although his reasons were all over the map, he was a commitment phobe.HIS REASONS(I don’t love you anymore, I used to be able to really listen give advice and hold you when you cried but seeing u cry now I don’t feel it, after I went to your and my sisters weddings, having kids, home..I don’t want that if ever in the next 10 yrs(my time frame too) he feels I deserve someone better that can support and give what I deserve..) I feel his I don’t love you anymore which after he explained I did my all to ask and find reasons, explanations,,yes we may have gotten to the complacent stage but it is fixable…etc. I never complained,we had to go Dutch on outings due to his shortage of money and he felt bad every time before he always took tab on everything, but I understood and let him know it was alright. I always encouraged him to do things to better himself, never pushing he is the kind that said I always got him to accomplish things etc. I just wonder if anything I did came off wrong. I literally gave my all in support. I felt I was a physical reminder of his struggles and he had to rid of me.POST BREAKUP: he called two days later asking how I was. We were cordial. ,week later he texts how are you, new job, etc, then shoots in a (I was truly going to keep in contact until you stalked me , made me more sad than you can imagine.) referring to the night I planned to return things though giving him a heads up, thus witnessing the aforementioned.I mean seriously, to label me as stalking.hurt. I believe after letting you know I am headed over and being that serious relationship we both labeled it as mind you, I have the absolute right to do what I did.so, day after strict NC 30 days from the last text February 14. I sent my final mature text kind of like u outlined wishing him the best, seeing high points of our relationship fondly, but in my own personal touch for our particular relationship. 16 days later He texted a simple ” hey how’s it going” day of his moms bday (I a baker pastry person always made a cake and we always celebrated every family bday ) I haven’t responded six days now, bc I feel my previous text deserves something w more substance from him,she is clearly living at his place or since of access is there at her own leisure often to be exact, Due to my Clinginess I feel no contact again will have some effect.?..but for how long, is it even worth anything, she still lives with him…I need clarity please Chris.please.how to rspond to him, etc, basically back in limbo land with those thoughts you mentioned that I shouldn’t care to think if he will forget me and truly move on..dunno if she will be rebound.. If he ever cared, still genuinely cares though he texted it may be an emotional “feel good ego boost high I am taking action checking on her thing..etc.i feel people deserve a second chance if he has a lot going on in his head which knowing him I do, bc in all honesty, I am bettering myself hanging out more,and having a flippin awesome time, but the hurt is strongly present while at the same time I can still feel I can get over it.i have crying outbursts every silent moment i get after work drive home or in bed.but feel I can get through the next day. Wow, one of the longest posts u had, but details are crucial for clarity.

Chrissy g p

April 10, 2014 at 12:09 am

I do have to say I have set the bar bc no one will endure genuinely out of love n care what I did for him.no one.and I don’t ever see myself highly superior in any form but gut feelings are right and this situation,nobody will truly compare when it comes down to the ability to want and face hard realities of what it truly means to devote to a relationship.guess it will just and hopefully…be a he won’t realize til it is gone thing…please respond with sound advice Chris.please.
Chrissy g p

April 10, 2014 at 12:15 am

We spent good time sorry to be forward but not just that sex was in both eyes amazing and we always said how most importantly just being in each others company, talking, cuddling, drinking tea, etc was theeee best.

Tanya

April 9, 2014 at 8:27 pm

Hi, Chris I can use your help. Ok me and my ex was together 6 1/2 yrs and we have a 3yr old daughter together. I found out he was cheating the end of October 2013 and I kept asking him about it and he kept denying it for 2 months. Comes to find out the cheating was boing on since August 2013 but he hid it very well. We ended us splitting up in November 2013 but after that he was still denying the cheating. We was barely seeing and talking to each other for months and he moved in with the girl. Now for the last two months we been texting and talking a lot and he always comes over. For the last two weeks he has been coming over a lot. Within the two weeks he slept over I say 6 times. Last week we talk thru text messages and he was telling me that me and his mother is all he got and that no one can ever take my place and how he still loves me. I know not to fully fall for that and get all happy because people tends to not always mean what they say. He was also asking me did I wanna be with him but I told him he has a gf so no. Even after that he still comes over to spend the night and text me. No we don’t sleep together or anything like that. And he brought all his clothes and everything to my house but I kept it in the bags. One thing is he still lives with the girl but he doesn’t have anything that belongs to him at her house. I just don’t know what it is that I should do at this point

admin

April 10, 2014 at 2:18 am

He lives with his girlfriend though?
Chrissy g p

April 11, 2014 at 4:13 am

Ru responding to Chrissy g p or someone else?
admin

April 12, 2014 at 3:40 pm

No clue… hahaha I lost track I respond to so many people.

Lets start over. Whats your question?
Chrissy g p

April 13, 2014 at 5:49 am

Chrissy g p: I posted a long one 😉 but although I read all of your guides thought I would provide more details so if any you could provide insight that pertains more directly to my situation. Thx.
Chrissy g p

April 13, 2014 at 6:05 am

And as update to my long post..I ignored one text for a week.he texted me three times in one day asking again how I’m doin, my new job, if I’m doin okay, then two days later he said well I guess being friends is over.it was really wonderful getting to know you. I texted then saying I had a lot going on, he called left a voicemail sayin he would try to call later. I called him six hours later after work saying I appreciate texting n calling.short convo with him.. He asked and I said I went to do this this n this with a friend I met at work, family stuff, that I remembered it was his mothers bday on the fifth,
How his family was doin, etc. I ended convo first saying I had to work the next day n it was nice to talk n he can call whenever I’m up for a chat.cordial to make it short.however I tested him n yes stopped by his place to make the call to see if he would pick up w her there.he did but putting myself in her shoes, it would’ve sounded like he was talking to any friend bc he answered the call using just his last name like responding to work or random unknown calls,before he would always just say hey to answer to me.i know he knows I called bc caller ID.whatta do Chris?..
Tanya

April 10, 2014 at 2:21 pm

Yes I know, but I’m not understanding why he’s doing all of this and bringing all his things back if he still lives there. Not to talk about her or nothing but she’s the type of girl that does whatever a man tells her to do. I removed her off Facebook because she puts all her business out there even there ( from the time she wake up Until the time she goes to bed, even how she have sex and does other sexual things and post videos of her in the tub) maybe I should be up front with his and see what he’s really trying to do

Lu

April 8, 2014 at 6:47 am

What if I was rebound girl…? and in LDR. Do I have any chance to winning him back?

Of course i didn’t realise that i was rebound, he was so into me that I jumped into this almost without any reflection. After 3 months he broke up (it was 4 months ago). So I went into NC for 1 month, then we start to talk again, also on skype, and he said he misses me all the time, that I make him happy and he want to see me sooo much. But did nothing to see me again. So i said to him to not mess with my heart, and we are not speaking to each other since two months. And now i found out (on facebook) he has new gf. Lost case, huh?
Ange

April 8, 2014 at 2:18 am

Hi Chris

All of your techniques work. I made it my mission to get my ex boyfriend back in January. He had been with his new girlfriend for 8 months. We were split up for 10 months. I did everything you said. No contact. Casual friendly texts. I also started dating casually.

The only thing I did differently from your program was when my ex didn’t respond to a text, like totally ignore me, I’d wait four days (I think a week is too long) before sending another friendly, non suggestive text.

Only thing is, in my quest to get him back, I started dating and fell in love with someone new. So I decided to try to be friends with my ex instead of winning him back. I added him on fb. I posted activities of me with my new bf.

Now he’s contacted me saying he doesn’t want to be with his girl friend anymore, she is a rebound, and he’s confused. They are fighting because he didn’t tell her he saw me in January for a catchup, and he only just told her two days ago when she asked why we’re suddenly friends on facebook.

I feel terrible 🙁 If this had happened in January I’d be the happiest girl ever, but now I’m with someone new and I don’t want to end it.

Anyway, just wanted to say, your program works…. But to all those girls who date someone new… be wary… you’re playing with fire and can be caught in a hard place if you end up getting what you want, then decide you don’t want it, and feel guilty for giving mixed messages.

admin

April 8, 2014 at 5:53 pm

I agree… I think I do mention somewhere that you need to be upfront with the new person you date… And if I didn’t mention it I should have.
Ange

April 15, 2014 at 10:15 am

By the way Chris.. thought I was happy with my new boyfriend but ever since my ex told me things weren’t going well with his girlfriend, I can’t stop thinking about him. He also said he thinks about us a lot.

I can’t continue my relationship with my new boyfriend if I’m still wondering about my old one.

What would be the best way to settle this – contact him and invite him to meet up (he’s responded positively to my “good times” memory text messages) or say something like “I’m seeing someone and it’s about to get serious. Before it does, I just wanna know, do you see a future with us?” or is that too forward?

Jade

April 7, 2014 at 10:38 pm

Hey Chris,

So basically, i was in a relationship for a year and a half with my first ever love and i do believe he loved me and i loved him however its been nearly a year since we split up and i still have deep feelings for him.. After the breakup he’s done so many things to hurt me and the most recent thing hes done is his present girlfriend is actually my bestfriends cousin.. Me and her werent the best of friends but at one point we where quiet close. I do believe he loved me but im not sure of i should fight for him or if i should just move on 100%! I dont really know what to do.. I do believe i have moved on to an extent but i dont know if i should hold on any longer?
This website has helped me alot and i do appreciate all the work you have put in i just need to know.. Do me and him still have a chance in the future or is it to late?

admin

April 8, 2014 at 5:42 pm

Could he be using that girl to get to you? Or do you think they are serious?
Jade

April 8, 2014 at 9:40 pm

So do i just make him miss me?
Jade

April 8, 2014 at 8:47 pm

I personally think he is with her just to get at me but from what i can see it looks serious but i know he value her like he valued me.. Should i just wait until they break up?
Jade

April 8, 2014 at 8:53 pm

Doesnt*

Lea

April 7, 2014 at 8:06 pm

hi,

I already did two nc-periods and just stared writing with him innocently again some days ago (with a long time between each message from him and me). So today, after anwsering my message, he told me that he has a new girl and it’s going very well (he also said sorry and that he doesn’t know what I’m feeling). I know he is very strict with having contact with ex girlfriends, he doesn’t want to endanger his relationship. But still he is careful not to hurt me…

We have been a couple for almost 3 months, it was a long distance relationship, which was too difficult for him, so he broke up. That was 5 months ago now. He approximately started dating his new girlfriend 3-4 months ago, so 1-2 months after breaking up. We have a lot of good memories, since we met on holiday and traveled to meet each other and we never had a fight.

This summer I will spend my gap year before university near his home. Obviously, right now he sais he doesn’t want to meet me in summer.

1. Is it possible, that his new relationship is a rebound? And how long to they last on average? I didn’t find an answer in your guides about this topic…I read them all.

2. I can’t decide what I should do: Wait the 4 months until I’m in his town and hope they broke up until then OR contact him in approximately 2-3 months again to see how he reacts? (I think both options have their advantages and disadvantages, but which one is better? I feel like he is too scared to talk to me while he has a girlfriend)

Your guides are helping me a lot…even if I won’t get him back, they give comfort at least.

admin

April 8, 2014 at 5:30 pm

He cares about you still I bet. How long have they been dating total?
lea

April 8, 2014 at 7:15 pm

Thanks, I hope you’re right 😀

They have been dating for 3-4 months…what’s normal for a rebound relationship?

please tell me which of my plans is better?
admin

April 10, 2014 at 1:37 am

Did you read my rebound page? I cover that there.
Lea

April 10, 2014 at 2:22 pm

Of course I read it 😉 you have an example where the rebound lasts for 3 months and I think 7 months isn’t considered a rebound relationship anymore. But I’m just thinking it might not be a good sign when the “rebound” lasts longer than the actual relationship?

I still don’t know what’s better, wait until they break up anyway OR contact him again while he is still with his new girl (but I’m scared that it will only bring him further away from me.

Vee

April 6, 2014 at 11:25 pm

Hi Chris,

I hope you get a chance to give me some insight. I’ll keep it short. Friends for 10 years, dated for 7mons, he disappeared all of a sudden. started dating someone else. NC for 43 days (yeah me!). I text congrats about a race. We had small talk. Saw him for the first time today (at a race) since 12/16/13. Engergy was good! But then I did see fb post to his girlfriend. Any suggestions on next steps. Thanks in advance. Keep up the great work. Blesings!

admin

April 7, 2014 at 5:09 pm

Well you need to build more rapport. What caused him to disappear?

Laura

April 3, 2014 at 9:14 pm

I was wth my ex for just over a year. We broke up over Christmas and didn’t start speaking again until about 3 weeks ago. I want him back but I found out he has a new girlfriend. We were speaking on really good terms for about a week we were talking about all our good memories and getting on really well then all of a sudden he said he can’t speak to me anymore because it’s not fair on his new girlfriend. Does this mean he’s serious about her and I have no chance? Help please!!
Erica

April 3, 2014 at 8:25 pm

My ex boyfriend and I of about 4 years have recently talked over the phone and discussed the strong love we both still have for each other. We were young when we first got into the relationship and we both had faults that caused us to break up quite dramatically and publically but only for a few months we got back together but I broke up with him after I found out he was saying flirty things to girls online and I got really scared for the potential of further infidelity. I was extremely controlling and resentful towards him which pushed him away. Now we have matured but we each have significant others. He’s is very difficult in communicating his feeling but when we talked the other day after not seeing each other for months he cried as well as I did and we realize that we have something special. I care for my boyfriend now but I deeply love my ex. I now know he feels the same but also cares for his current gf even though he has let me know how I’m much better than her. He does say she makes him happy. He texted me how he accidentally liked a photo of my current bf that is of me and my current bf. I don’t know what to do because I’m scared and he is too but it feels like hes ultimately choosing his current gf who I know is a rebound but they’ve been together for a few months now. After the emotional conversation he told me he made plans with her and to not contact him. I haven’t. And I haven’t responded to his text and I don’t know what to do. My heart really hurts and so does my head!

admin

April 4, 2014 at 5:11 pm

When did you two break up?
Erica

April 6, 2014 at 3:46 pm

5 months ago

sanjana

April 3, 2014 at 7:43 pm

heey..me n my n boy friend broke up.first we were together..and then he had to go to germany for his studied and it was a long distance relationship then.. and then he came back to india and we broke up there was no reason for that.he suddenly just stopped talking to me….but we were serious about each other…n i had exams during that time so i dint really bother..and then i slowly realised..n i tried to contact him..but he was ignoring me..n then he left..i called..messaged..but no reply..i dint send him any emotinal msg..i used to text normally…i was waiting for his reply..but he never really replyd..he knows that i still like him(got to know through a mutual friend)may be the reason he never replyd.its been one year..and i got to know he was in relationship with four girls after me(timepass relationship..n friends with benefits sort)..i want him back..what do i do?

admin

April 4, 2014 at 5:08 pm

How long did you date him for?

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