How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has A Girlfriend V. 2.0

1,117 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has A Girlfriend -Version 2.0-”

R

March 1, 2014 at 11:33 am

Hey Chris.

What if I don’t know whether he’s officially with his rebound girl or not? Cos we’ve just gotten into communicating again about 2-3 weeks back, and my attempt to know whether they’re official or not seemed to backfire cos he ignored both attempts. I know though that he has brought her home to meet his mom (haha yes I’m the same R who left another longass comment at the other article). I’m the first girl he has ever brought home (he had two exes before me), and he brought me home even before we were together officially. At that point of time we were still best friends (but I could tell he liked me and I liked him lol).

How do I go about to find out their status?

P/s. Totally random but haha it’s cute that I have to do basic maths for my comment to be submitted! 😛

admin

March 2, 2014 at 7:22 pm

Do you have any mutual friends you can ask?

And I put the math problem in to stop spammers. I took it down though.
R

March 5, 2014 at 5:33 am

We do have mutual friends, we were classmates before and the whole bunch of us remained friends. But he rarely open up to talk about such things to them, cos I’ve always been his best friend. The only one he really opened up to and talked to about anything and everything. Aside from that, there is his family whom I’m close to even till now. But even their attempts to find that info out backfired…..

I too don’t want to get our friends or his family involve in this :

chybaby

February 27, 2014 at 11:10 pm

Cheating isn’t good and I kept apologizing for as long as it came up.Beside,it happened when he broke up with me and it never involved sex n it wasn’t a date,it jst happened. His friend who was supposed to help me talk my ex back then tried to do things and instead of sex and odas I decided to help him out(BJ) cus he was desperate,he went to tell my ex sth else,although he didn’t mention sex.maybe my ex didn’t get over the issue.
Anyway,my gud news is my ex has been calling frantically my friends n family members abt me since the beginning of my NC,cus av been strictly on NC.Today he sent the most interesting msg”dat he regrets evrytin dt happened btw us n he neva meant to hurt me.av been so downcasted 2 cc dt u cld nt even pick my calls.plz I nid us to talk.I knw av wronged u,bt cus of God,picck my calls ds nyt.Am on my knees”
I tld him we’ll talk tomorrow,cus it mks the 21st day of my NC. Thanks to Mr Chris and his NC rule,strict NC works esp if the guy loved u at 1st.
Buh do I send a friendly msg 1st or do I leave him to feel like a victim? Thanks again.
chybaby

February 26, 2014 at 8:21 am

Gud day Mr Chris,I appreciate your effort in writing all these guides on how to get an ex boyfriend back.I have been on d NC for 19days today,and I think I’ll be doing that of 21days beccause my ex has been trying to contact me,thru whatzapp,text messages and calls,but I ignored them all,cus am strictly on NC,he broke up with me for things I had done in the Past,including cheating on him. Our relationship has been a (LDR)and we try to see once every month. Of recent,his chats have been much,he sent an angry text that I av been ignoring him and when I did not reply,d next day he sent another message saying: That “things that were meant to be can’t be because of our mindset” and he sent a picture of ours wen we were playing,where I fed him Ice cream. Plsssss should I reply him today,or still Ignore until the 21 days are completed.I dnt want him too get angry again though.Remember its a Long Distance Relationship.its Urgent cus he is Online waiting for my response cus its a way of wanting me back.Thanks for giving me such guide to being a strong woman now.

admin

February 27, 2014 at 7:28 pm

Good day.

Obviously the cheating is never good. Do you think he ever got over that?

ur

February 25, 2014 at 2:18 am

hey chris how r u so let me tell u my story i hue a boyfriend that i dnt know wt is his proplem but we been 2gether for like a year and 4 months but at the midel of it befor 7 month he came and brek up with me i dnt know wt to do nd as a solition i ask him if we can be friends with benefit cuz i dnt want him to go to ather girl nd for like 3 months we where huvn sex but we wos no longer lovers and at that time i was keep beging him to get back to me he dnt want and at that tiem i herd he get a new girlfriend and still he was sleepn with me nd the bad thing is he is the brother of my bff she talk to him a lot of time he dnt want to hear her nd he left the house he was liven with his friend but still he huv sex with me after this hole time i told my mom every thing and she ask him to came and sfter that time i stop sayn hi to him even when i find him i dnt say hi no calling no any thing nd i told him to go to his hous coz i will no longer stay at that house but one day i go to his house to get my staffs nd he start sayn he miss me nd staffs nd we huv sex after that we start a new and good life agien so one day he say he wont to chagn country i ask him if i can came he say no so when he lleft after 1 week i go to but i go to jell and a lot of staffs at that time and he didnt even call me one day i call him nd ask him did he miss me he say no and he hangup after 3 months i finly made it and ge to the country where he and my bff wos so i stay at my bff house agien for like 2 weeks nd i go to his place nd do u know wt he do he was not happy and he told me to go to my place the next day nd i did after 2 months 2 months of no call on day he call nd he say he is changed nd staffs so i start talkn to him he tlde me we r no longer together so he want me to be his sister like my bff nd i cnt so i beg him i cry nd he told me that he is in llove with some one and he close the phone after that i dnt know wt to do i stop talkn to him and agien after 1 month hi text me and talked to me about ather staffs nd he say he is going to came to see his sister so after 3 days he came and we meet agien so the next day when every body sleep he came to me and sleep with me and we huv sex so until the day he go we huv the most wonderful days nd the time he go he kiss me nd say byy like i am his lover so when he left i was lookn at his facebook so i sow onegirl pic that he coment so i liked it and after so min he call and told me if do something like that agien that he is going to block me and after that he wont answer to my calls nd text but today he send me some pic and ask me which one is better for facebook so i dnt get it what shoul i do i love him like hell nd i dnt know wt is his prolem nd the worest thing is he is the brother of my best firend plzzz chris helpp me.

admin

February 25, 2014 at 6:45 pm

Have you entered into a NC yet?

Ange

February 22, 2014 at 11:35 pm

Hi Chris, what do I say to my ex if he tells me can’t text me anymore because his girlfriend said not to?

They had huge fights the last time we met up and even broke up over it. Back together now.

I was thinking something like “Come on… it’s only a text message! :-P”

admin

February 24, 2014 at 6:18 pm

I think come on its only a text message is fine haha.

geekinthepink

February 21, 2014 at 5:01 pm

i need your advice chris, i was in a 4 year relationship with my 1st bf. We broke up he and went straight into a relationship with a girl that is really not his type. During the 4months of them being together my exboyfriend havent given the girl any gifts especially on christmas and valentines day, when we were together he always gave me gifts but with her he didnt spent a dime on her.. is he in a rebound relationship? Or trying yhe girl to break uo with her?

admin

February 22, 2014 at 6:35 pm

Does it have the signs of a rebound?
geekinthepink

February 23, 2014 at 6:06 am

Based on what i’ve read on your rebound guide, yes all of the signs. Theyre already 4 months together, and im on 2 months Nc coudlnt contact him because the girl doesnt want to.

admin

February 20, 2014 at 7:45 pm

I think you should meet him if you feel thats best for you.

However, if you haven’t done NC yet you might want to try that as well.

admin

July 24, 2014 at 2:21 pm

Which part?

Susanne

February 18, 2014 at 11:15 pm

Hey, so my situation is a little unique and I’ve read the articles similar to my situation but I still have questions…
Basically I’m in love with this guy who’s in love with me (supposedly) and I’ve liked him for 9+ months. BUT I’m too young to actually have a boyfriend or even date technically because of family rules. We were basically in a relationship though but we only saw each other every few months and texted every day. I found out recently that he had a girlfriend. And he’d lied to me about it for a month. I understand the reasons and all that and I still want him. He said he didn’t tell me because he didn’t want to lose me, he likes her but he loves me etc, he said he wanted to be best friends which would’ve been fine if he didn’t have a gf. I read a post last week from his gf about how in love they were and immediately started the NC. He’s texted me many times and his last text said, “This is retarded, do you want me in your life or not?” so basically… 1) I want him to get out of the relationship, I won’t date him if he has a girlfriend. 2) What does his texts mean and is that good or bad, 3) is there anything I can do that would make him okay with not being my boyfriend (but still dating)?
I really appreciate all of the work you’ve put into this website. Thank you so much, any advice helps.

admin

February 19, 2014 at 7:20 pm

How young are we talking here?

Ann

February 18, 2014 at 9:40 pm

Hi! Just wanted to thank you for taking the time to share all this info.

Ladies, if you haven’t tried No Contact – do it. It is the best and only way to either move on, or the make them want you back.

He just texted me today, after 43 days of NC, despite him being back with his ex girlfriend. “Hey just wanted to say sorry for ignoring you. Hope all is well”.

Funny thing is, the 43 days of NC helped me move on. So, I won’t be responding.

THANK YOU.
Hopeful

February 18, 2014 at 7:33 am

I’m getting the Ebook and I am going to follow that guide like it’s my life.

I do not think I realized I was ever in love before (coming from a girl nearly walked down the aisle once) – until now. I tried to break him off of me. I tried to step away and get rid of him… I tried getting over him. I would just daydream about him. I miss him terribly.

I was sitting with the rebound watching Finding Nemo and that scene came up: Dory is begging Marlin to stay when he thinks Nemo is dead and she says “When I’m with you, I’m home”. I actually stared off into space because in that moment I realized … my whole life I searched for ‘home’ and the one time I ever felt it… was with him. The rebound asked me if I was okay because I don’t know what look I gave… but I know mentally, I was not with him in that room.

The ex and I, we broke up- for d@mn good reasons. He activated his online dating account and I said I would not ‘wait’ on him. However, I messed up from there – I gave him the cards. We texted back and forth. I begged. He begged. I told him no. He told me no.

We dated for 5 month. We’ve been broken up for 2. I don’t think he is rebounding… HOWEVER…. they are long distance. He is Marine based in NC. She is in either VA/PA.

Everything in me for the last two months has died. I am not the weak female either -I’m a man eater. I just find myself in space lost thinking about him constantly. This has never happened to me before and I don’t want to give into the fact I lost him. I’m not done trying – I just started.

I’m in NC. Not to mention – due to my ex before that dating a model – I was cute before – I’ve been stepping it up a lot (because I know he checks out my facebook). Grr. Other Women LOL.
What are my chances?
He looks so freaking happy and she is so gorgeous… they actually look cute together. Am I horrible person for wanting to ruin this?

admin

February 18, 2014 at 7:18 pm

Not horrible BUT I don’t recommend you cheat or do anything like that. Just let your relationship with him do the work so HE breaks it off with her.
Hopeful

February 22, 2014 at 6:16 am

You wanna know the JACKED UP PART OF THIS? The ex before him… I just said he was dating a model…. they broke up. Well, guess who texted my phone saying my recent picture was gorgeous and he still has my expired bank card, because it makes him smile??? He wanted to know if I was still dating this ex… Well… um…

CHRIS, WRONG EX!!! LOL

I would never cheat (both of these two last fools cheated on me in some form)….. I have always wanted love do be done the right way …

From a male’s perspective, He wanted me to wait on him. Should I have just waited on him? Was that my mistake? At first I said yes. Then I said no. Now he is with a girl that is more stable, prettier…. and of course further away, lack of comittment on his end I thought but he is like acting like she is the WORLD on facebook all of a sudden. All my friends were like NO that’s sitting there waiting on him to decide on you – you’re better than that.
What’s in waiting? I know that’s in the past but … I think I wonder if his feelings initially were real?
admin

February 22, 2014 at 6:47 pm

I don’t think a girl should ever have to wait for a guy.
Hopeful

March 5, 2014 at 10:33 am

I did something right! Okay so 8 days left… he hasn’t said a word. Matter of fact… He is friends with her best friend on facebook, which I’m like wow… really trying to impress her because when we were together it was not the case.

I did some snooping (I know I am not supposed to, but Clinicial Psych PhD student eh… I like to put my mind at rest). She’s a LOT older – they live states away – she doesn’t exercise (he’s HUGE) into fitness – religion is important to him they aren’t of the same faith …

I leave for school in a few months…. I want to say screw this but I miss him more (what witch craftery is this lol???)

So my small ray of hope is: she has pics of them up together (which… you can fly to PA from NC but you can’t visit me during/after major surgery – this caused our fight? -_-) Weeeeellll the only ones to ‘like’ the pics are HER friends only…. (weird right??) He’s tagged in them so I wonder if he hid it from his timeline? I’m like what is wrong with his friends? Which… I had met all of them and liked them and they liked me…

Anyways I leave for school in a few months in another state… I’m on the bridge of: take a chance/ risk a second rejection.. or I move and figure out moving on emotionally.

They have been together a month (talking online I’m not sure how long) but … online creates a superficial world where you can over romanticize everything…

What are my chances on this? Fight or Flight? WWCD? (What Would Chris Do)?
admin

March 5, 2014 at 5:59 pm

Hahahaha…

Online relationships can be successful so don’t hate on the entirely.

That being said, the differences in religion and fitness may prove to be sticking points. Age can be a sticking point as well BUT probably moreso for her since she is older and may be looking to settle down and he may not be.

There is a chance it might not survive so I tend to say fight BUT you have to ask yourself if being patient (with no guarantees) is the best use of YOUR time.
Hopeful

March 8, 2014 at 6:01 pm

You’re right.

Okay so I watched your jellbean movie. Pretty interesting. I worked on an ambulance for 10 years until my surgery – enough time to know life is too short.

I bought this guide… eh.. might as well use it 🙂 Plus it has been working!

Um… not how I want it to: wrong ex… but it’s WORKING!!

Funny story: We are not friends on facebook and never have been (ex-ex and I) but I guess he just dumped his model girlfriend. Now anyone can view my profile.

His inbox message to me was: “Remember how we once talked about moving out West together?” … I said… uh yeh? He really said, “I know I wasn’t there for you before, but I want to be now, maybe it could happen this time?”.

I about choked on my cereal. Too bad I don’t take back lying/cheating/no good pieces of soap scum. He’s lucky I didn’t set his car on fire (I got this fool on his feet- I got 1 paid date from him before he took another female out) but I stayed classy.

Anyways. It’s weird, I never felt this way about anyone before. It’s stupid how we broke up -I still can’t figure it out. I just want him back in my life…. I never admired anyone more than my daddy until I met him. I can still live the rest of my life while trying to see if he will ever feel the same way about me as I do for him. I think I just need to know.
admin

March 8, 2014 at 7:26 pm

The jellybean video is pretty cool. It makes you think.
Chris AKA Hopeful

March 16, 2014 at 10:42 pm

Well back in NC. My first text was a fail it’s been 24 hours and NOTHING (eye roll) LOL.

Seeing he has a girlfriend … should I do longer than the 2 weeks NC?

Now I will say, he likes his space… he’s a hermit.

Which the new G/F has like stupid Marines stuff and lovey dovey drawings/ wedding stuff all over her page now. I’m like ugh. I was clingy and pushing things too fast?? It’s only been a month (at MOST two) and they met each other ONCE. LOL soooo I’m jealous but WTF. For Real?

Anyways, I realized we are still skype friends. Why has he not deleted me??? IDK … HOWEVER I now have a profile picture 😀 … I think I will keep changing them periodically….

Either way – I’m gagging over here. But revenge comes in the form of Skype pictures… I hope he chokes on them… not really… maybe just a little…
Hopeful

February 22, 2014 at 2:45 pm

BTW I’m starting to feel this is the best investment I ever made! Like… I want him back and I feel like it will happen but .. Im hardcore about gym/ looking good/ change. I actually did a free boot camp (I am in no means where I want to be but I lost 60 lbs last year before him and I met – I think about 15-20 left of fat, I need about 5-10 of muscle until I am the ungettable girl haha) … The bootcamp I have been expressing the WHY, getting your WHY and holding onto it, looking at it EVERYDAY. You gave me my WHY (the group did originally) but there is NO reason I shouldn’t be able to get off this pudgy before I reconnect with him.

Thanks!
admin

February 22, 2014 at 6:50 pm

Good for you!!!

solo mummy

February 18, 2014 at 2:24 am

hi there, i was with my ex for a little over 2 and 1/2 years and we have a child together.. we broke up 3months ago now basically because he wasn’t “ready”, he said that he felt as though he had messed the relationship up himself (i had caught him messaging another girl about a year or so ago) and just plain didn’t have the energy to fight for it, over the last 3 months he mainly indicated that he had to sort some of his own stuff out before he can come home but a week ago i found out he has being seeing another girl since pretty shortly after we split up, (he moved in with her last week) ever since i found out he’s been very insistent that she has nothing to do with whether we get back together or not – leading me to believe she is a rebound, but he is LIVING with her.. i really want my wee family back together again, it was not perfect but it was good and stable and solid.

do you think there is any hope for us? i am planning on starting NC (or minimal contact as we have a child) tomorrow, though i have pretty well stuck to it for the last 4days anyway.. he also said he was getting ready to give us another go last week but the stuff we dealt with last week was too much for him to handle (alot of out of the ordinary stuff happening..) and to give him some time for it all to resettle before we think about it all again.

admin

February 18, 2014 at 7:16 pm

I think there is yes.

I wish you the best of luck 🙂
Solo mummy

February 19, 2014 at 10:06 pm

I just worry I have messed it up by doing it all wrong in the first place, I did NC for a week when we first split up but I couldn’t maintain it at the time (I don’t think I was strong enough) and I feel it made a difference especially as he says that he was thinking about trying again.. I guess I just can’t get past the whole he has a gf thing… Living together seems serious but so far he seems more worried about keeping me happy more than her… Just really confused by his actions!

skye

February 17, 2014 at 1:49 am

My bf and I broke up a year he now have a gf 2weeks ago he said he say he still likes me and now he is flaunting his gf in my face…… The relationship he have is not a rebound he started dating a year after our split. What should I do know
maria

February 8, 2014 at 7:26 pm

Hi Chris! I’ve been reading these days I think about almost everything you’ve posted. I’ll try to summarize as much as possible, because I have a weird situation in which first: He’s rebbounded but I’m not sure if I was also a rebound… Also it’s kind of a long distance thing…

I was going out with a guy I know from back home. We both grew in city A, both studied in City B and now i live in City C. We knew of our existence but never really spoke until 2 years ago, a year later I came to live to city C (I used the letters to try not to be so confusive) He added me on FB, I have a business so once he contacted me to buy some cufflinks and I was in a business trip in city B. At that moment was the first time we spoke to each other and we just clicked! That was about 2 years ago, and we kept in touch via text. We were becoming quite close, more friend close but maybe with some spark.
He then started dating a girl january last year but we still spoked as friend from time to time. They were long distance since she was also from city A (back home). He ended up breaking up with this girl after 5 or 6 months and we never lost touch. We started to talk then every day, and by july he was asking me if I had a trip soon to city B, I had a wedding in october and he offered to pick me up to the airport and drive me to where it was going to be, because we had to do an 2 hour trip. By then we started feeling chemistry but I’m a cautious girl, so I didn’t say yes. We started to speak every day, morning and night. By september we had a holiday and he asked me if I was going home with my folks for the long weekend, I said yes and he asked me for coffee. That was our first date and he was such a gentleman: picked me up, opened the car door, carried the umbrella, walking by the side of the cars and leaving me walk by the side of the buildings… He was such a sweetheart. He asked me for breakfast on the same weekend. By that time I asked him if he would come to the weddding as part of our group table (we were 4 girl friends and some were taken dates and others friends) He said yes and had an amazing weekend! We never slept together, and the next weekend we spent almost all the time together. Then we went back to where we work. We kept speaking to each other everyday, it was all romantic. He would speak to me, dedicate songs, poems, we have favourite authors and twitter was kind of our thing… Unfortunately we knew we wouldn’t be able to see each other untill December when Ihad to travel to City B because I had to visit some things and then in christmas break we both be back home…
So everything was fine up untill December started. When I was in city B he was kind of distant and didn’t make plans to meet like he used to do everytime. We saw each other and I told him I knew it was a bit hard but I was happy regardless the distance. He said he felt bad because he couldn’t maybe be there for me like he wanted, but insited he adored me and wanted this to work, because he believed it was worth it. We said goodbye and knew by next week we both would see each other.
I was back home and just heard from him for two days… and then silence. I’d send him a text and no answer… Ok, he might be busy, then some days I’d leave a fb message or something… Nothing. Then he posted about coming back home, but he didn’t tell me. I was hurt, but let it go that day, next day I called him (it was december 24) he told me he was in a service, but that we’d speak the next day for christmas. We sent our christmas messages and it kind of looked fine, but I felt it really wasnt. He didn’t call afterwards… nor the next two days. I called him and sent me to voicemail. I was so hurt I did admit had a fb rampage (inbox of course) and after all my rapage he just said he still believe that we were worse like this (he didn’t say it like that the first time i swear) and that It was my fault because one day he didn’t aswer and I was being irrational. Of course I was really mad and told him to be a man and at least if something was happening had the decency to speak to me. He didn’t answer. Next day I knew despite everything I shouldn’t have done that. I sent him an sincere apology: just told him that I was sorry. I was upset and I didn’t realize that it was for him too and that I shouldn’t have reacted that way, and told him that he was right, maybe it wasn’t the right time for us.
He just read and left me with no answer. Since then we haven’t spoke. (december 29)
He’d be posting the same songs, poems, stuff like that about being lost for love on the social media, but then if I posted a song (well I’m human, I do feel and sometimes it’s too much) he’d go and delete that day all or our private messages.
Then I found out about two weeks ago that he was already sleeping with another girl. (someone tagged him in a pic with two male friends and a female girl, they were hugging, and someone posting: just already say yes, not subtle, but a friend told me supposedly they weren’t dating, just sleeping together)

I adore this man. I honestly don’t know what happened and I don’t know if he just dumped me to go out with this other girl (Which logic tells me. All I know they have friends in common and they both live in the same city)
I’m not a person who dates a lot, in fact I’ve had two boyfriends in my whole life, and im 26. We never slept together, we really we’re going out seriously, not fooling around, It’s the first time in years I have been in this kind of situation and talking about feeling and some hints of the future. He’s 28 going 29. I know what we had was builing something special despite circunstances that maybe were too much. I can see myself constructing a life with him, but I’m also conscious I don’t want to overwhelm him. I want him to be happy.

We haven’t had any contact since. I’ve even done with “social media hints” of any kind, he still posts something but he hasn’t talked to me. I don’t know if they still fuck each other, I don’t know if he is still mad, and I also know im in a looser situation where we live very far apart. Actually I’m coming to live back home, but I just keep wondering if I was just also another rebound girl, or if he freaked out at the last minute.

I know things worth are hard work. But I’m freaked out to contact him because it was so… cruel at that point. It really broke my heart. I’m not a 15 yr old infatuated teen. I know he is an amazing man that despite his faults, like everyone has, he has a beautiful soul, I’ve never met a man so filled with love and care like him.
I don’t know if it’s worth waiting some more time with NC… or if he was really just playing the field so well, nobody saw it coming, not even his friends or mine… Sorry I did write an awfull lot 🙂

admin

February 9, 2014 at 4:49 am

What does your gut tell you?

Waiting more time during NC?
Maria

February 15, 2014 at 9:10 am

He just spent valentines with this other girl, posting about being the best valentine’s he’s ever spent…
I dont want to be the crazy jealous ex girlfriend, but now Im doubtfull I should contact him… I regret not contacting him earlier…

I know it has been just a month, but something tells me maybe they had something from a long time…

I was the rebound, right?
maria

February 10, 2014 at 1:22 am

I was thinking of that. I don’t know if he is sleeping with the other girl thought, I was thinking to wait another month, but he hasn’t even done anything to contact me either… Have been workin on myself, go out and have fun, meet new people girls and boys, focuse on my work, excercising…

My fear is that he is still upset even if I do NC for a while longer… Can a guy be that hurt to act like that? Or should I wait a bit less?
I know I frightened a bit the poor guy so I know I don’t want to push him… I didn’t mean to.

Unless it is clear I was the rebound. That is more of my question probably… A bit of insight? Or it can be worked out besides?

Anonymous

February 6, 2014 at 5:07 am

Hey Chris, I have been reading your articles for the past and they have been of great help for me! I’m really tempted on buying your ebook but I’m not sure it can help my situation. I’ve was with my ex boyfriend for a short three months, since the very first day we had such a great time together. He was never the calling type but we would see each other around three times a week, and he will text me every day to ask about my day etc. he started pulling away when he told me he was considering moving back to his hometown in the next few months due to financial
Reasons as well as being close to his parents. I’ve always been very understanding and thought that if we were meant to be together it was going to happen. He broke up with me out of the blue about a month ago, two weeks later a friend told me she saw him with a girl at a bar, I met up with him days after to clear the air since I told him
That the way we broke up didn’t feel right to me, he never denied the fact that he was with that girl that night and told me she meant nothing in fact she was someone he met at another bar that same
Night. We spent the night together but since I haven’t heard from
Him. Today I found out he is dating that girl, but according to my friend and other that have seen her pictures she is a downgrade from
Me, her face is not very nice and she’s a bit chubby. I like to be modest but when it comes to first impressions I am great! I’m very confident at first and though im petite I know I’m attractive, but I don’t seem to be able to keep it up in the long run. As the relationship progresses I let the men take control of it. I know I have a bit of work to do on myself, but I want to know if you think that it’s worth trying? And even though our relationship was short and he’s moving away I still have a chance? Either way I think your ebook is a resource that can be very useful of not at this time but for my future relationships.

admin

February 6, 2014 at 6:00 pm

Explain what you mean by “you can’t keep it up in the long run?”
Anonymous

February 6, 2014 at 6:42 pm

I mean maintening my confidence.

Sammy

February 5, 2014 at 12:16 am

Hey

So long story short. I was friends with this guy for over a year. He had asked me out a couple times but I told him I wasn’t over an ex yet and it wouldn’t be fair to him. We still stayed friends. Until he started getting distance around Christmas. 2 months later he was in a relationship and we didn’t really talk. which was okay he had a girlfriend I understood, but this is when i realized i liked him as more than a friend. But then she broke up with only after dating 7 weeks and got back together with her ex. 3 weeks after they broke up we hungout and watch a movie. when he kissed me for the first time and we hooked up. but it was weird after. i knew i was a rebounded. then we didnt really talk or see each other for awhile till his birthday when we hooked up again. after that he told me he was moving away…..but i found out he didn’t. he didnt talk for months then he posted pic of a girl. but 2 weeks after that he texted me. we met up and my friend yelled at him for lying and saying he was moving away. We didnt talk at all during Christmas. I drunk called him at the beginning of the month and we talked a little. then nothing. then one night he liked a bunch of my photos. but the next day posted pics of a new girl. now he keeps posting things about her so im pretty sure they are together. he blocked me on fb but the next day texted me to see what i was doing….he is very confusing. I guess I just need help. Not so much getting him back right away but more so getting us on talking terms again as friends and then maybe becoming more. but if he is seeing this girl it has only been for a month max……sorry that was not short at all….please help….I miss my friend 🙁
Jessica

February 2, 2014 at 11:54 pm

Hi
Ma nad my boyfriend were together for about 6 months. He went on a mission trip and I didn’t know he started talking to this girl and getting attached to her. He started telling me he doesn’t want a relationship and today he told me he loves her and isn’t leaving her because she appreciates him. she lives in michgan he lives in georgia so its long distnace.l do you think they will split? he said he wont leave her

admin

February 3, 2014 at 5:59 pm

Well, can I ask you something?

Did he feel you didn’t appreciate him enough?

Bluebird

February 2, 2014 at 11:12 am

Chris, thank you so much for this guide. I actually sent you a situation a few months ago about this same guy: “Hi! I’m glad I found this. I’ve been reading to look for some answers. My story is kinda.long and complex.
This guy and I dated for almost 9 months. But this guy is in a long distance relationship and they see each other every.now and then. I knew what I was getting into, yet I thought it would change his heart eventually.
He decided to breakup with saying he couldn’t take it anymore, he wasn’t himself. But that he still loves me and there wasn’t an inside problem in our relationship. But that he couldn’t be with two girls at once. I did noticed he was pushing me away, but he would apologize.
I said that I still wanted to be his friend because, after all, he is a really amazing and cool guy. He agreed, even though we were really sad.
I wasn’t planning to talk to him the next day, yet he texted me to see how I was. We talked for a bit and later he sends me a song. He didn’t want a answer back, just wanted me to listen. I did.
The next day, I sent him something I knew he would like because I was listening to it I thought of him, he liked it. And he also told me his phone was broken, so we would talk by dm. And we were like this for a week. A message a day, a faved tweet from both parts.
A week after, at 2:30 am he replies a message I left him the day before and we started to talk about conspiracy theories (one of our favorite topics) until 5:30 am. A few days later, I sent him a song that made me think about our situation and I got him angry and confused (mostly confused) and I sent him a testament via dropbox yet, he dm’ed the next night about random things and told me he hadn’t read what I sent him.
A few days later we were having small talk and ask him if he could do me a job-related favor. An hour later, he texts me from this number and tells me that it depends and also, that that one was his new telephone number. We were two days without speaking and he sends me a video about a joke that we have and I sent him another one back. Later we had small talk and that it.
The next night, he just faves two more tweets at 3am and I did the same.
Keeping in mind that he is still with his girlfriend, I don’t know what to think.”

And I just wanted to say that our situation is a little bit more… dynamic, I’d say.
So, the whole month of December went by, no more interactions via Twitter by both parts, his long distance girlfriend came and we spent almost a week without speaking. Then, he randomly texted me really late at night (we were both working after 12am) and we had small talk and then he just asks: “how are you feeling, emotionally speaking?” I said: “sometimes good, sometimes not so good, it’s a rollercoaster, but I’ll get better. and you?” And then he simply responds: “Godd. Focused”. I was honest and said that all I wanted for him is to be happy and he wished me the same. We actually spoke during his whole shift (a month) after midnight. Random talks about anything, TBH.

Here’s the catch about everything: while we were together, we were in a threesome with a friend of his and the girl texted him asking him if we could do it again. I said if he’s ok, I wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t link my feelings, cause, after all, it’s sex. He ended up saying yes (now, he could easily have said no if he’s so focused). During that time, we hadn’t seen eachother.

January starts and also his overcompensating via social media with his girlfriend. (Not even when we were just friend was like this to her). And we both start being a little bit more “public”, interacting againg via faved tweets. And we both had the news that we were accepted in college, so we were bound to see eachother. He decided to tell me that his girlfriend wasn’t to happy with the idea of studying WITH ME. I just proceed to tell him that there’s nothing I could do, that I can see why she’s upset but that it’s silly. He just said that he knows but that he wanted me to know about it. So, we saw eachother the next day, after 2 months and it felt nice. We were laughing, telling jokes, our usual selves. Our interactions via text are the same. We talk every day and it’s 50/50 the initiative.

Now, about the girlfriend. She makes fun of his friends publicly and she’s over-the-top sarcastic (not in the endearing way). Plus, I stumbled over the Internet with the fact that she does strip and sex shows via web (and the ex in question knows abot them) and he mentions that it was “her amazing idea” to start doing them.

Honestly, at this point, I’m trying to keep him as a close friend. And whatever happens, happens. But, I don’t want him to be in that toxic relationship.

admin

February 2, 2014 at 6:57 pm

Do you think you can though?

Keep him as a close friend I mean?
Bluebird

February 5, 2014 at 8:47 pm

Update: Ok, I need male perspective about this…
He wasn’t very public about this girl before (Not that much)
But now, he publishes pictures of her like, every other day and now he says that he publicly misses her. Really? He never was like this before.
Bluebird

February 3, 2014 at 12:49 am

Yeah. I mean, so far it hasn’t been awkward. But, of course, we’re still on that stage of figuring out the level of our friendship.

Lisa

January 30, 2014 at 6:27 pm

Hi Chris.

After he ignored me and he finally answered and saying

“I don’t want to be with anyone now and don’t want to waste your time”

And I said “ok, well I hope one day you realize what you have lost. Good bye”

I was upset.

I am on nc now
And I found out he is kinda talking to bunch of girls..

I don’t know if I could go for contact after finish my nc..

He said don’t want to waste my time..

Is it time for me to let him go?

I miss him everyday. :/

Lisa

February 3, 2014 at 12:52 am

Chris. Even though I said ” I hope one day you realize what you have lost.”
U think I still can text him after finish my nc?? :/

Marisol168

January 30, 2014 at 4:03 am

I’ve successfully completed the no contact rule for thirty days. I’ve tried to focus on myself, and make other friends. But I still can’t keep my mind off my ex. I want him back but he still with his gf. What else can I do?

admin

January 30, 2014 at 6:13 pm

You can message him probably if you want. Like I say in this guide.

Ranz

January 27, 2014 at 8:59 pm

So, I’ve been dating this guy on and off for about two years. We were never very serious. This past summer, we began seeing each other again and he even invited me on vacation with him. Long story short, we didn’t go on vacation and stopped talking. He was always busy. I think he’s afraid to get close to me because he’s 12 years older. Then he takes his new girlfriend on that vacation with him a few weeks later! Shortly there after, they are official, facebook and all. I’m devastated. Well, we started texting each other silly and random things and even stuff about our everyday lives a few months ago. Then this past friday I saw him out at the bar and we chatted it up with some friends. I texted him the next morning saying how good it was to see him. I got a random “hey,” the next day. But couldn’t reply because I was working but when I did reply he didn’t respond because he must’ve been with his girlfriend. He texted me today telling me that he wishes to sever contact because his girlfriend saw saturday morning’s text and he’s been trying to convince her that we’re just friends. However, it planted a seed of doubt… I told him, “OK, I’m sorry. Good luck.” And that was that. Is any hope of ever seeing/hearing from him again lost?

admin

January 28, 2014 at 6:04 pm

No its not lost at all.

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