How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has A Girlfriend V. 2.0

1,117 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has A Girlfriend -Version 2.0-”

Isabelle

February 16, 2017 at 6:39 am

Hello there,

Can you provide me with email address so that I can state my problems personally ?
Thankyou

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2017 at 7:35 pm

Hi Isabelle,

You can send an email here:
CONTACT

Tam

February 13, 2017 at 3:02 pm

I really need advice because I don’t want to move on but I feel like my situation is hopeless! Basically me and my ex broke up around a month ago and I’m 20 and he’s 25! (2 days before my birthday which is January 7 haha!) We were together for 8 month! He didn’t want to break up before my birthday but a week prior to the breakup I was feeling it coming and I had anxiety about it so I told him we had to talk and so we ended up breaking up. He was nice enough to come to my birthday surprise on the 6th of jan and even wanted to take me out like he had planned for my birthday on jan 7 but I told him to talk face to face one last time instead. He basically said that I was the best girlfriend he ever had and that he loved the most and the way his previous girlfriends treated him was nothing compared to the way I treated him and that he still had feelings for me but that it had to end. Things is you might be thinking he’s lying but I know the guy very well and he is never the type to say stuff just to make others feel better he’s very blunt. He told me he broke up for several reasons: he didn’t feel the chase anymore, basically that I had become this needy and clingy person (not his words but me interpreting what he meant), the relationship was getting too serious (I’ve never made it seem serious since I never met his parents or talked about marriage) and finally because of the problems (I did make a lot of fights for no reason and stupid ones too so I understand this reason). I thought the breakup was clean and I just talked to him 2 days after the break up briefly but didn’t beg or anything because I had read other sites about these mistakes to avoid and so I started the no contact rule. Thing is I bumped into him a week after the breakup and his friend who really wanted us to fix things gave us space for me and him to talk. I didn’t say I wanted him back but I basically told him that I’m glad I had this time and the way we were we had to breakup because I really became dependent on him, needy etc and that this wasn’t the person I am because I wasn’t like that in the beginning of the relationship and he knows what kind of person I am. He seemed to be impressed but that was it. I was dealing with the breakup the best I can and after that he talked to me two times once with an inside joke and the other asking about my university and how’s it going. I was very indifferent both times. Problem is I found out through Instagram that he is dating when I saw a picture of a girl hugging him with hashtags like #boyfriend #girlfriend etc (who does that??) so I got really hurt but still I didn’t talk to him. I mentionned to his friend in a very unobvious way that he was dating and they didn’t know!! The next day he talked to me apologizing and saying he’s sorry for not telling me it happened so fast he’s known the girl for 3 years (happened fast= rebound no? And if he’s known her for 3 years why hasn’t he ever tried anything with her?) I was very indifferent in my replies but after two days I felt like I had to talk to him to get my closure (I probably shouldn’t have but it went better than I thought!) I called him and we ended up meeting Saturday (this last Saturday). I was very cool and calm I told him my intention wasn’t to try to get him back nor to sabotage his relationship (although it perfectly was my actual intention) and he told me he knows I’m not like that etc. I told him that I felt disrespected because he didn’t tell me and that he actually told me that he wouldn’t be with girls or relationship directly after the breakup so he lied to me and it made me wonder if everything else was a lie. He told me he didn’t want a relationship and wasn’t planning on it but it happened. Thing is I know the guy he likes to take his time it took us 3 month to date him and this girl they ended up dating in less than a week (I know another sign of rebound but still). The girl seemed really opposite to what he likes, from the picture she posted she seemed so into him so I was like you told me you didn’t want clingy or chase but here she is exactly like how I was at the end of the relationship but worse this is how she is! He told me the girl isn’t like that in real life although when she posted the picture with the hashtags it scared him because he hadn’t asked her out officially. He also told me that I’m mad because He didn’t give me a chance but that several times before the actual breakup we were going to breakup but never did and that we were unhappy for the last month and a half of the relationship. Although I kept trying to tell him that I was reacting to how he was treating me (push and pull theory) he kept saying that this is how I am in a relationship and he didn’t even want to give us a chance after because in his head we just don’t work out (but I was not convinced). He asked to be friends and I told him I couldn’t but then we started talking about what was going on and brining back good old memories and I really made him very comfortable. This is when the flirting and jealousy started. I slipped it into the convo that I was seeing a guy but felt guilty up until I knew my ex was dating so he got really curious. He wanted to know his name, asked me to show a picture of him and I purposely showed him a snap of the guy hugging me then directly closed my phone as if I didn’t want him to see the picture (but I did 😉 ) he got really mad and asked if I kissed him which I said no to while smiling and then said yes (all mind games) he got really mad saying we won’t last and he even said that he wasn’t gonna marry his current GF he even said that maybe they would end up breaking next week who knows. Then I started pulling all kinds of tricks on him like telling him if my lipstick was still good, asking him to smell my perfume and he would go like don’t do this to me or don’t let me get to your neck. I even told him how he was dealing with the fact his current gf has no nails and no ass (he used to be obsessed with my nails and ass) so he kept looking at my nails with agony and touching my hand. I have to mention with all modesty that the new guy I told him about is way better looking than him and that I am way better looking than the girl. Not to be so snob but there is no comparison and I know that the fact the guy is hotter would bother him. Also I’m a premed student in the hardest and well known uni in my country while she is doing some musicology shit in some shit university. Anyways the guy was being very flirty and touchy like touching my face, stomach etc and he finally told me he was still attracted to me and that I had to tell him to stop. At one point he got so close we were going to kiss but I turned. I was very confused because there he was telling me he got with her so fast cause they clicked and found things in her he liked although she seems to be nothing like what he looks for aka stupid and desperate and needy (I even asked someone about her that told me the girl is so easy and talks to so many guys) yet he is still with her but did do all of those things with me. Also, I asked him indirectly and found out that they already did some stuff (says a lot about the girl no? They date in 3 days and she already does stuff with him?) Like he even told me If he wanted to make things work he would have kept talking to me all the time but he didn’t basically these are my questions:
1) Is he really not wanting to give us a chance at all or is there way to change his mind?
2) is this girl a rebound or not? Like why would he even get in a relationship if he felt so smothered with me right after we broke up and what if he actually likes her or end up liking her because this is what he’s claiming!
3) is there anything I can do or should do now or how do get him back? Do I talk to him or do I leave him, what’s the best way to get him back to me?
4) what happened when we met up because I got really confused as to his mixed signals! Is the fact he’s attracted to me a good thing or does it only mean he looks at me physically or?

I forgot to add that he was the one chasing me in the beginning but the tables turned at the end! I know this is so long but I really hope you read it all because I really need some advice since I’m way too confused like this!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 14, 2017 at 4:10 pm

Hi Tam,

I replied in your first comment. Im just going to paste my answer there here.
Ex Boyfriend Recovery- Let’s Get Your Ex Back
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“I CAN’T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE OF GETTING HIM BACK!”
It’s been too long since I have done a video.

I apologize for that.

We actually had to find a new place to set up our video equipment since my daughter has to have her own room now and we were using her room as EBR YouTube central!

Talk about ghetto, right?

Anyways, we found a place and now we are back up and running.

Our latest video is about what you can do if your ex boyfriend has moved on to a new girlfriend.

(Shutter)

Check it out,

TRANSCRIPT
Chris: Hey, Chris Seiter here from Ex Boyfriend Recovery and today I’m going to teach you about how you can get your ex boyfriend back if he’s moved to another girl.

So, the other day, I got to thinking, what are some of the people who are getting their exes back and doing that the people who aren’t getting their exes back, not doing? So, I went through my website and I took apart all the success stories I’ve had over the years and I’ve learned something shocking.

One of the most popular type of success stories are people who have gotten their exes back after their exes have moved onto someone else. So, what I like to do with this video is talk to you about my strategies for helping you to get your ex boyfriend back assuming he’s moved on to another girl.

Alright, this video is going to be divided into three parts. The first part is rebound relationships. The second part is the grass is greener syndrome. And finally the third and most important part is the being there strategy. Let’s tag in right now to rebound relationships.

PART ONE: Rebound Relationships

Common sense tells us that when you’re ex boyfriend moves on to someone else, your chances are aren’t that great but there’s one exception and that’s if he’s moved on to a rebound relationship. So, what I like to do now is give you my description of what a rebound relationship is so, you can figure out if he’s in that category assuming he’s moved on.

There’s three telltale signs of a rebound relationship. The first sign is if he moved on really fast. So, he broke up with and then he moves on in a week or something to a new girl or that can be a sign that he’s going into a rebound relationship.

The second sign is if that rebound relationship doesn’t last very long. So, in other words, if your ex boyfriend is dating someone and he’s been dating her for like a year, that’s probably not rebound relationship and finally the third sign is if he’s serious about it. You can always tell when a man is serious about a relationship. Depending on how he acts around his friends or how he interacts with her on Facebook or social media. So, look at signs like that.

Next, we’re going to talk about The Grass is Greener Syndrome and how it relates to your situation.

PART TWO: The Grass is Greener Syndrome

Alright, so The Grass is Greener syndrome is kind of an interesting thing. I always like to think that when it comes to men they have, there’s a visible attraction scale on their head and this attraction scale is a living, breathing thing. Into everything that goes into the attraction scale is sort of relating to a woman, her looks, her personality, her characteristics, basically anything that would make a man find you attractive goes into this scale and it’s a 1 through 10 scale. So, for example, a woman that man is supremely attracted to would be a 10 on a scale and a woman that he’s not attracted to obviously, would be a 1.

So, what happens with this scale is, when an ex boyfriend first dates you he goes through something called the honeymoon period. That’s where you can do no wrong, everything’s perfect in the world. So, in his internal attraction scale to you, you’re a 9 or a 10. You’re almost perfect but as the relationship goes on, little things about your personality or your characteristics or maybe your looks change and his attraction scale gets lower and lower and lower and it eventually gets to a point where it’s so low where he starts thinking, “Maybe, I can do better than her.” So, that’s when a break up occurs and he starts looking for someone.

So, he’s broken up with you and he starts to look for another girl that he thinks is going to be better than you and let’s say he finds her. He finds a girl and he goes through the same process that he went through with you, the honeymoon period where she can do no wrong and she’s perfect to him but when you look at her set attraction scale, she doesn’t have anything on you. She’s boring to him. Her characteristics aren’t going to be as good as you and when the honeymoon period wears off for him, he’s going to compare her scale to yours and yours is better. So, he’s going to sit there and think to himself, “Man, I made a mistake breaking up with her.” That’s kind of the grass is greener syndrome. It’s where a man breaks up with you because he thinks he can do better and sometimes he can. Sometimes, the grass is greener on the other side but often times it’s not. Often times the girl can’t hold a candle to you and you need to keep this mind when you’re trying to get your ex back. So, why would I tell you this whole thing about the grass is greener syndrome? It’s to give you hope. It’s to let you know that you really do have a chance to get your ex back which leads me to my next point.
I’m going to give you the ultimate strategy for helping you move things along when it comes to your ex moving onto another girl.

I like to call it The Being There strategy.

PART THREE: The Being There Strategy

Alright so, The Being There Strategy, you know, if there’s one thing that’s probably the toughest part about getting an ex boyfriend back when he’s moved on to another girl it’s the fact that you have—you run the risk of pinning yourself as the common enemy. And if there’s one thing that unites two people more than anything, it’s a common enemy. If you play this the wrong way, your ex and his new girlfriend are going to get united over the fact that you’re trying to break them up. So, we need to kind of tread this fine line. We’re not trying to break them up but we just put your ex in a position where his ex girlfriend is really not so fond of you being in the picture and that’s where the being there strategy comes into play.

Alright, so I’m not a fan of trying to break people up. That’s not what we’re about here in ex boyfriend recovery but often times all that you have to do to put a rift between your ex and his new girlfriend is just by being there. Just by being in the picture, just be being consistent with talking to your ex. You don’t even need to hit on him. You don’t even need to use this any kind of like super text judo or get him to hit on you, you don’t need to do that. All you got to do is just be there and his new girlfriend will take note of you, the ex girlfriend being in the picture. So, just by being there, you’re going to make his new girlfriend jealous of you, his ex girlfriend. And often times, when jealousy comes into play, many kind of find it attractive at first but if you are consistent with the fact that you’re being there in the picture is going to find her jealousy and her insecurity unattractive and that’s what you need to do to kind of show him that she’s not all that great. You’re the one that’s great.

I want to take a moment to thank you for getting to the end of this video. I really appreciate you watching it and I want to offer you an opportunity. An opportunity to become a part of the ex boyfriend recovery family. We have a whole team of people dedicated to helping you get your ex boyfriend back and all you have to do is show your support and we’re more than willing to help you out. You can show your support by simply liking this video, subscribing to our channel, visiting our website at exboyfriendrecovery.com. You can find the link in description below or just commenting in this Youtube video. Just do something to get involved in this community and we’re more than willing to help you out. We’re very responsive. We’ll see you later.

ExBoyfriend Recovery> Our Videos> What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)
August 2, 2016
“I CAN’T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE OF GETTING HIM BACK!”
With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.
Chris Seiter
WRITTEN BY CHRIS SEITER
My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. I think I can help you too!
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WHAT DO YOU THINK? (222)

Tam – 0
Tam
February 10, 2017 (Edit)
Basically me and my ex broke up around a month ago and I’m 20 and he’s 25! (2 days before my birthday which is January 7 haha!) He didn’t want to break up before my birthday but a week prior to the breakup I was feeling it coming and I had anxiety about it so I told him we had to talk and so we ended up breaking up. He was nice enough to come to my birthday surprise on the 6th of jan and even wanted to take me out like he had planned for my birthday on jan 7 but I told him to talk face to face one last time instead. He basically said that I was the best girlfriend he ever had and that he loved the most and the way his previous girlfriends treated him was nothing compared to the way I treated him and that he still had feelings for me but that it had to end. Things is you might be thinking he’s lying but I know the guy very well and he is never the type to say stuff just to make others feel better he’s very blunt. He told me he broke up for several reasons: he didn’t feel the chase anymore, basically that I had become this needy and clingy person (not his words but me interpreting what he meant), the relationship was getting too serious (I’ve never made it seem serious since I never met his parents or talked about marriage) and finally because of the problems (I did make a lot of fights for no reason and stupid ones too so I understand this reason). I thought the breakup was clean and I just talked to him 2 days after the break up briefly but didn’t beg or anything because I had read other sites about these mistakes to avoid and so I started the no contact rule. Thing is I bumped into him a week after the breakup and his friend who really wanted us to fix things gave us space for me and him to talk. I didn’t say I wanted him back but I basically told him that I’m glad I had this time and the way we were we had to breakup because I really became dependent on him, needy etc and that this wasn’t the person I am because I wasn’t like that in the beginning of the relationship and he knows what kind of person I am. He seemed to be impressed but that was it. I was dealing with the breakup the best I can and after that he talked to me two times once with an inside joke and the other asking about my university and how’s it going. I was very indifferent both times. Problem is I found out through Instagram that he is dating when I saw a picture of a girl hugging him with hashtags like #boyfriend #girlfriend etc (who does that??) so I got really hurt but still I didn’t talk to him. I mentionned to his friend in a very unobvious way that he was dating and they didn’t know!! The next day he talked to me apologizing and saying he’s sorry for not telling me it happened so fast he’s known the girl for 3 years (happened fast= rebound no? And if he’s known her for 3 years why hasn’t he ever tried anything with her?) I was very indifferent in my replies but after two days I felt like I had to talk to him to get my closure (I probably shouldn’t have but it went better than I thought!) I called him and we ended up meeting Saturday (this last Saturday). I was very cool and calm I told him my intention wasn’t to try to get him back nor to sabotage his relationship (although it perfectly was my actual intention) and he told me he knows I’m not like that etc. I told him that I felt disrespected because he didn’t tell me and that he actually told me that he wouldn’t be with girls or relationship directly after the breakup so he lied to me and it made me wonder if everything else was a lie. He told me he didn’t want a relationship and wasn’t planning on it but it happened. Thing is I know the guy he likes to take his time it took us 3 month to date him and this girl they ended up dating in less than a week (I know another sign of rebound but still). The girl seemed really opposite to what he likes, from the picture she posted she seemed so into him so I was like you told me you didn’t want clingy or chase but here she is exactly like how I was at the end of the relationship but worse this is how she is! He told me the girl isn’t like that in real life although when she posted the picture with the hashtags it scared him because he hadn’t asked her out officially. He also told me that I’m mad because He didn’t give me a chance but that several times before the actual breakup we were going to breakup but never did and that we were unhappy for the last month and a half of the relationship. Although I kept trying to tell him that I was reacting to how he was treating me (push and pull theory) he kept saying that this is how I am in a relationship and he didn’t even want to give us a chance after because in his head we just don’t work out (but I was not convinced). He asked to be friends and I told him I couldn’t but then we started talking about what was going on and brining back good old memories and I really made him very comfortable. This is when the flirting and jealousy started. I slipped it into the convo that I was seeing a guy but felt guilty up until I knew my ex was dating so he got really curious. He wanted to know his name, asked me to show a picture of him and I purposely showed him a snap of the guy hugging me then directly closed my phone as if I didn’t want him to see the picture (but I did ) he got really mad and asked if I kissed him which I said no to while smiling and then said yes (all mind games) he got really mad saying we won’t last and he even said that he wasn’t gonna marry his current GF he even said that maybe they would end up breaking next week who knows. Then I started pulling all kinds of tricks on him like telling him if my lipstick was still good, asking him to smell my perfume and he would go like don’t do this to me or don’t let me get to your neck. I even told him how he was dealing with the fact his current gf has no nails and no ass (he used to be obsessed with my nails and ass) so he kept looking at my nails with agony and touching my hand. I have to mention with all modesty that the new guy I told him about is way better looking than him and that I am way better looking than the girl. Not to be so snob but there is no comparison and I know that the fact the guy is hotter would bother him. Also I’m a premed student in the hardest and well known uni in my country while she is doing some musicology shit in some shit university. Anyways the guy was being very flirty and touchy like touching my face, stomach etc and he finally told me he was still attracted to me and that I had to tell him to stop. At one point he got so close we were going to kiss but I turned. I was very confused because there he was telling me he got with her so fast cause they clicked and found things in her he liked although she seems to be nothing like what he looks for aka stupid and desperate and needy (I even asked someone about her that told me the girl is so easy and talks to so many guys) yet he is still with her but did do all of those things with me. Also, I asked him indirectly and found out that they already did some stuff (says a lot about the girl no? They date in 3 days and she already does stuff with him?) Like he even told me If he wanted to make things work he would have kept talking to me all the time but he didn’t basically these are my questions:
1) Is he really not wanting to give us a chance at all or is there way to change his mind?
2) is this girl a rebound or not? Like why would he even get in a relationship if he felt so smothered with me right after we broke up and what if he actually likes her or end up liking her because this is what he’s claiming!
3) is there anything I can do or should do now or how do get him back? Do I talk to him or do I leave him, what’s the best way to get him back to me?
4) what happened when we met up because I got really confused as to his mixed signals! Is the fact he’s attracted to me a good thing or does it only mean he looks at me physically or?

I forgot to add that he was the one chasing me in the beginning but the tables turned at the end! I know this is so long but I really hope you read it all because I really need some advice since I’m way too confused like this!

REPLY
Chris Seiter – 4
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2017 (Edit)
Hi Tam,

It’s probaby his ego at play when he knew you dated other guys because he’s used to you being clingy to him.
but more likely, she’s not a rebound.. no matter how incompatible you think they are, and how easy she is.. if he said you’re clingy and then went to her, then that leans more on the grass is greener case.. There’s something about her that he finds interesting.. As the cliche goes, actions speak louder than words..he told what’s pleasant and then did something else.. I think you should start with not explaining yourself always.. just do things.. Be active in having your own routine.. If you want, restart the nc, do 30 days and then after that continue improving yourself while slowly building rapport.. Dont ask to be friends, dont tell him you’re just being friendly(unless he asks) just be friendly..

Angeli

February 12, 2017 at 5:02 pm

hello, what do you mean by if this is a grass is greener case?

Angeli

February 12, 2017 at 5:03 pm

sorry for the repeat i thought my comment didnt go through
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 13, 2017 at 2:38 pm

it’s ok 🙂 I erased the first one.. Oh, check this one:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

Angeli

February 10, 2017 at 3:51 pm

thank you again so much for the help! you said it is possible it can still work because he has liked me before even after a relationship and crushes, he is in a new relationship after having a crush on me. i don’t think it may be a rebound, but if it’s not a rebound, will i still have a chance, even if he has liked me a few times before?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 10, 2017 at 9:26 pm

Hi Angeli,

you mean if it’s a grass is greener case? Yes, but be careful that it becomes his habit of treating you like his go to girl..

Angeli

February 4, 2017 at 3:34 am

thanks for the advice and sorry if i keep asking more questions! i was wondering if this would still work even if we have been broken up for 2-3 years but remained friends and he liked me recently but now is in a relationship?

our history: he liked a few girls before during the past 2-3 years. he even liked me once but stopped coz i havent improved myself. then later on he dated a girl months after. they only lasted 3 months and broke up july 2016. he’s liked a couple of girls after but then started liking me again recently like in december. but my friend said my ex lost feelings coz he thought i didnt like him back. and a few weeks after, he started dating a girl now (still fresh, only been a few days now). do you think this plan will still work?

Angeli

February 4, 2017 at 3:36 am

i also forgot to mention that he lost feelings because he thought i didnt like him back, and we didn’t make a move or progress
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 4, 2017 at 1:12 pm

there’s a chance that it will because of his pattern of liking back even after relationships

Angeli

February 3, 2017 at 5:34 am

thank you again amor! sorry again idk how to directly reply to your comment. i do believe i can get my ex back after NC, bettering myself and showing i am a new person. i am just wondering HOW can i get closer with my ex without coming off as desperate, and making it HIS idea of getting to know me better, without feeling guilty while being in a relationship??

i believe i can get him back b/c he just had a crush on me recently and another time before

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 3, 2017 at 5:50 pm

no worries! you have to keep being improving after nc and then talk to him, keep the conversations fun, but dont be too available..like the advice in the setting the bar theory above and what follows below it..be present and fun

Angeli

February 2, 2017 at 8:24 pm

hi amor. i’m sorry but i dont know how to reply to ur comment. but i thought about doing NC but i was thinking if i can just only reduce the interactions with him almost to 0. like i would like to have him in social media but not talk to him or initiate intercations for 30 days. i want to do this only because he is in a new relationship and idk how serious he is about her (even though it’s only been a week). and i want to get closer with him when i am a new person but while he is seeing someone (if theyre still dating).

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 2, 2017 at 9:53 pm

Hi Angeli,

That’s ok.. You mean to stay friends and not block him? Sure, you shouldn’t really block him. he has to see your posts but dont stalk him nor talk to him, dont reply too if he initiates..

Angeli

February 2, 2017 at 3:48 am

hi. my ex and i broke up 2-3 years ago but still remained being good friends. during these past years, he has other crushes and dated a girl once. he even had a crush on me a couple of times.
one of those times was recently. back in late december, i found out from my friend that my ex likes me back. my friend told me to tell him how i felt but i refused thinking my ex really didnt like me back.
we grew close during that month but then i heard from my friend recently, that my ex lost feeings because he thought i didnt like him back and nothing progressed between us.

its only been a few weeks (2-4) since he liked me, but within those weeks, i believe he got closer to a girl and now he’s dating her. i remembered he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship yet a while back but now he’s in one.
i believe maybe it’s a rebound or something cause it was so quick. he claimed on twitter once that this girl, now gf, makes him so happy.

i kinda have a gut feeling maybe he is trying to cope with his last ex after me and me as well.

we are still friends but now i am gonna start focusing on me and becoming better and showing him we are meant together.

i guess i still have some worries like what if she is better than me, and how can i get closer to him while he is seeing someone? or should i reduce contact with him and better myself in the mean time before having real conversations?

pls advise me!

Angeli

February 2, 2017 at 3:51 am

i forgot to mention. i do feel like i can get him back because there are times where we would be awkward coz of the break up and we wouldnt be friends for a while but then we would always come back to each other as friends, and a couple of times liking each other back.

but i cant help but worry and look for more advice.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 2, 2017 at 7:59 pm

Hi Angeli,

do you want to try the no contact rule and then do the advice above?

Ana

January 19, 2017 at 12:01 pm

Hello!
I’m 20yrs. I had a bf 1,5yrs long. He broke up with me and after he said he was thinking about got me back. But then not was good idea. And after 2 weeks he got new gf. They posted pics to Fb together at christmas(I know it not means anything the girl always posting, exhibicionist). I am scared. We were best friends. I Still love him. So I did the NCP for 30days. I contacted him. We are talking but he is so contained and cold. I’m trying my best. Sometimes we talk easy sometimes I Have to try harder. I ám so scared. What I should do? We are chatting on Fb. I send him a lot of video about cats ( ha called me his little kitten). But now I am confused. I had exams We cant meet suddenly. I dont want to mess up this with him. I’d like to we will be together again and continue our relationship, harmony. What’s the next? Please help me! I am afraid I loose him forever. Have I got chance to repair this?
Thanks for help.
Confused Ana

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 20, 2017 at 7:10 pm

Hi Ana,

what are the topics that you’re using and are you ending it at high point? Are you still actively improving yourself? If he sees your posts, would he think you’re better than thr old you and better than the one he’s with?

May

January 18, 2017 at 7:09 pm

Hello! We were together for 2 years. I’m 22 and he’s 26. It was kind of a rocky relationship but I believe we loved each other and it was serious. We were talking about future, marriage etc. Due to personal circumstances he moved away. He was kind of hesitant about LDR. But we promised each other that we won’t let it break our relationship. But shortly after he moved away he broke up with me saying that I should move on and that LDR is not working for us. And then he started dating another girl. She’s same age as him. Pretty, succesfull. They met through his friends. It’s been over a month since all this started and he’s already professing his love to her. We kinda talked a little since we broke up but I wasn’t contacting him for over a week now. But I saw that he erased all of photos I took of him while we were away on vacation. I’m feeling really hurt about all of this. Like our relationship didn’t mean anything to him. How can he already love someone else when we were talking about our future together just not even 2 months ago. Do you think he really moved on that quickly or do I still have a chance? What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 19, 2017 at 6:09 pm

Hi May,

I think it’s a grass is greener case.. check the link below. Are you going to do the no contact rule?

The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

Jen

January 8, 2017 at 7:29 pm

I’m in an unique situation cause we were seeing each other for 2months but I had to leave the country. I came back he had rekindled an old flame with an old ex… (they’d been on and off 4years).. now the ex has left the continent. They were together 3weeks before she left and he says he realized he was never over her.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 8, 2017 at 11:08 pm

Hi Jen,

check this one:
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

Ann

January 7, 2017 at 3:02 am

Hey,

My ex is in a rebound relationship (I mean all the signs tell me so but… Dunno!).
What shall I do now?
Shall I go for no contact or shall I stay in the picture? Or something in between?

Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 7, 2017 at 5:29 am

HI Ann,

when and why did you break up? How old are you both?

Caroline

January 4, 2017 at 5:45 am

Hi,

This might be a long entry but I’ll try to keep it short. I’ve known that my bf has had a gf since about 3 months after we broke up, it has now been 1 and a half year. They broke up after a couple of months but went back togheter and I just learnt that they are searching for an apartement togheter. Since the breakup I have been unable to move on and have trying to get him back trough fb. I somehow sense that even if I have feelings for him, my thoughts and feelings about him aren’t healthy. I mean how can anyone believe that they can get their ex back when they’re about to move in with their gf?

He knows I still love him but he occasionally likes my statuses about politics, not anything regarding me. He only does this, he doesn’t reach out to me, he even said(a year ago) that he didn’t wanna be my friend if I still loved him. Is there anything more I could try or should I just give up?

I have tried the no contact rule, I have tried being intrested on fb, I put off talking in texts since he didn’t seem intrested. Even if it is vague, I still feel his liking my fb statuses sometimes is manipulative – or is that just overanalyzing? I really don’t know what to do anymore.

Caroline

March 10, 2017 at 1:22 am

Since I last wrote here, I have met my ex bf at some political meetings and also on the bus to uni.
I have remained distant everytime, but not ignorant, said hi and everything but then started talking to other people. Every time I do this, he walks up and starts talking to me. He smiles, and looks me in the eyes – however he seems overall happy so I’m not sure wheter I should see this as him being glad to see me or not. He still doesn’t ask me any personal questions and we just chat and joke about politics. He is becoming more active in the party again and next weekend, him, me and a bunch of other people are going on a conference togheter.

Should I keep letting him come to me to talk? I try to always show him that I’m having fun with others so that he’ll see that I’m not bothered by his presence and also to show him that I’m not clingy and needy when I meet him. The recent week I have also gotten 3 likes on various political things I have written on fb. So I know he likes my opinions, and I know he likes strong women who are successfull and I am excelling. I have also worked really hard to get rid of any drama in my life.
My question is, should I keep being distant and let him seek me out at theese social event or should I go up and talk to him?
I don’t wanna push him away, and I know he’s extremly stubborn so I don’t wanna text him or message on fb since he avoids interacting with me on social media. He’s still in a serious relationship but I see his changed behaviour and I wanna try and see if I can get him back trough us being active in the same party.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 8:46 am

if it’s been over month and you’ve improved, slowly rebuild rapport but dont stop improving and having your own life
Caroline

January 7, 2017 at 11:54 am

I haven’t built rapport in the sense that I’ve tried to talk to him frequently.
However when I did talk to him(like mentioned here) I made some progress but then I didn’t dare to contact him if I would seem needy and clingy because of it.

He doesn’t even ask me back how I am if we do talk to eachother, he’s polite but that’s all. Now we haven’t spoken on messenger since august. My friend made an event at my place and also invited my ex but he didn’t respond to that.
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 8, 2017 at 1:42 am

ok.. well bottomline is, why would he choose you over his current gf? why
would he be attracted to you? The physical aspect does play a big role initially but you have to partner that by being more interesting than his current one while building rapport too..You have to answer those questions so that you know what you need to do..
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 6, 2017 at 5:47 am

if you’ve tried slowly building rapport and nothing happened, then it’s time to move on.

Natalia

January 2, 2017 at 12:52 pm

Hi,
My ex broke up with me two months ago, in the beginning of November. In the beginning I didnt do NC, we met couple of times, back then I could still see he has lots of feelings for me. Then I felt I cannot stand this situation anymore and applied NC in the end of November. I think he could think that I am meeting someone during this time. I contacted him during Christmas and he responded straightaway in a very positive manner but didnt initiate longer conversation. Then I met him in a pub during New Years Eve, we talked only for a second, he wasnt very much interested in talking to me and he seemed worried.
I texted him yesterday asking if we shall meet. He didnt respond but he posted a picture of him and a girl that I dont know. She looks insenely similar to me, they are quite close to each other. In the end he responded saying that we shall meet one day and that he is happy that I feel better. But again he was not interested in any conversation with me. I have a feeling he responded only because in the message I wrote him that I just want to be friends.
I am not sure if Im being rational right now. I started feeling very upset and assumed straight away that this is his new girlfriend. Do you think that chances are that she is? I mean, there is always a chance but I can guess that if theyre meeting so only for about a month – not even because he was 10 days away from the country in December. Im in a shock because I thought he is very cautious about things like that, I thought he wouldnt post anything unless he is sure about the relation with the person, and after a month no one can be. Now I dont know, maybe he is so distant because he is with her?
We were dating around 5 months but it was a very profound relation. He told me he was never that honest with anybody, we built this on being open with each other. He ended with me because we often had arguments due to my insecurities and jealousy. I am working on this issues at the moment, I used some self help books that helped me very much and I am waiting for my therapy that is about to start in the middle of January.
I just dont know if I should hope for anything or just let go…?

Natalia

January 5, 2017 at 7:41 pm

Hi again,

I did NC for 28 days.
I found out that the girl I mentioned is his new girlfriend. They rush a lot, he didnt do the same with me – pictures are all over Facebook, although they met in the middle of December (and he was away during December for about 10 or 12 days. So it seems they actually met maximum couple of times)… She already has him on her profile picture and it’s a picture from his bed – I recognize his pillow. I know he is about to introduce her to his close friends and with introducing me he waited quite long. Interestingly enough, I met him by accident twice and he looked very worried. Or maybe he was just tired, I don’t know but just not like somebody who is freshly in love. In my opinion of course.

Before I found out, I texted him. We had a short conversation, it was friendly and he was responsive. He was actually impressed about some things I mentioned (I told him about a new hobby). He invited me to an event he is organising. So yes, I think that having some conversation via text messages first is better than asking for meeting straight away.

What do you think I should do now?
I was thinking about contacting him in three weeks time. Then I started to think that it would be better to go for NC again and just let their relationship unfold. I’m afraid that he will fall for her even if this is only a rebound at this moment… Maybe I should tell him about my feelings so that he understands I’m still into him? I think he doesn’t realize that.

But anyway, I’m staying quite strong. I still work on myself. I try to be positive, I try not to panic. I’m doing things that I enjoy and which help me. I surround myself with friends who support me.

Thanks for your responce!
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 7, 2017 at 5:30 am

Nope, don’t confess.. That would put you in the chaser position. Go ahead do the three weeks nc, and follow the advice above. Check this one too:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2017 at 6:27 am

Hi Natalia,

how long did you do nc and are you still improving yourself now? we usually advice to build rapport through texting and then calls first before doing meet ups.. do you want to try that first?

brokenbutnotlost

December 23, 2016 at 8:45 pm

I must have made every single mistake here before finding this site. I could use any guidance you can give me.

I had been with my ex for about a year. He was in love with me and managed to convince me to leave my boyfriend at the time for him. I was very much in love. He was a great guy. However, I broke up with him because of his insecurity (I’m not one to lavish consistent praise) and mainly because I didn’t want children (but I knew he did) and didn’t want to take that from him. Although we broke up, we talked and hung out here and there for a few months. It stopped me from moving on so I ended up moving halfway across the country to get some distance. I told him I was moving 2 weeks before the date. He was very upset, as was I. The days leading up to the flight, we spent the nights together.

I ended up thinking about him every single day. Two months after the move I discovered I was pregnant but ended up miscarrying due to my IUD. I never told him because what would be the point? But it really changed my views on wanting children, so long as it was with the right person. A month later (3 months after the move) I flew back and met up for dinner. He told me he had been really hurt and finally just started seeing someone. I supported him during dinner but later couldn’t help but write him an email on how I still love him and how I really came back to see him but didn’t want to rock the boat. We met up again a few days later to talk about it. We talked on how we got along so well and loved traveling together. I broke down when he tried to hug me. He told me he still wanted to hear from me. Right before I boarded my plane back, he called me up and reiterated that we should keep in touch.

Over the next few weeks we casually texted here and there. I said I was moving back in a month, not only because he was there but also because the new city didn’t suit me and my support system was back home. Then, he calls me up to tell me that we could no longer talk because he sees something long term in this new relationship and that he was getting too old for drama. We are both late 20s. I felt completely heartbroken and led on.

I really want to get back together since what drove us apart can be fixed. But he requested no contact. He doesn’t have Facebook or other social media, only email and phone. For now, I’ve deleted his phone number and any messaging app texts to resist the urge to contact and to also give me space. I am still moving back for my support group.

I’m at a loss on what to do. I’m hopeful he would contact me in a month to casually see how the move went but am coming to the realization that may never happen. Is there anything I can do? I’d really like to hear what others make of this situation.
brokenbutnotlost

December 20, 2016 at 7:02 pm

I must have made every single mistake here before finding this site. I could use any guidance you can give me.

I had been with my ex for about a year. He was in love with me and managed to convince me to leave my boyfriend at the time for him. I was very much in love. He was a great guy. However, I broke up with him because of his insecurity (I’m not one to lavish consistent praise) and mainly because I didn’t want children (but I knew he did) and didn’t want to take that from him. Although we broke up, we talked and hung out here and there for a few months. It stopped me from moving on so I ended up moving halfway across the country to get some distance. I told him I was moving 2 weeks before the date. He was very upset, as was I. The days leading up to the flight, we spent the nights together.

I ended up thinking about him every single day. Two months after the move I discovered I was pregnant but ended up miscarrying due to my IUD. I never told him because what would be the point? But it really changed my views on wanting children, so long as it was with the right person. A month later (3 months after the move) I flew back and met up for dinner. He told me he had been really hurt and finally just started seeing someone. I supported him during dinner but later couldn’t help but write him an email on how I still love him and how I really came back to see him but didn’t want to rock the boat. We met up again a few days later to talk about it. We talked on how we got along so well and loved traveling together. I broke down when he tried to hug me. He told me he still wanted to hear from me. Right before I boarded my plane back, he called me up and reiterated that we should keep in touch.

Over the next few weeks we casually texted here and there. I said I was moving back in a month, not only because he was there but also because the new city didn’t suit me and my support system was back home. Then, he calls me up to tell me that we could no longer talk because he sees something long term in this new relationship and that he was getting too old for drama. We are both late 20s. I felt completely heartbroken and led on.

I really want to get back together since what drove us apart can be fixed. But he requested no contact. He doesn’t have Facebook or other social media, only email and phone. For now, I’ve deleted his phone number and any messaging app texts to resist the urge to contact and to also give me space. I am still moving back for my support group.

I’m at a loss on what to do. I’m hopeful he would contact me in a month to casually see how the move went but am coming to the realization that may never happen. Is there anything I can do? I’d really like to hear what you make of this situation.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 23, 2016 at 10:25 am

Hi broken but not lost,

Do you want to try the advice above? I think you shouldn’t contact him right after you get back because that’s too predictable from you

Caroline

December 12, 2016 at 4:10 am

Hi,

My ex and I have been broken up for 1 and a half year now. He moved on quickly and started looking for a new girl immedeatly and after 3 months they were a couple. They then broke up but got back togheter. His new gf looks and talks like me. He’s been really cold and distant towards me, even mean. I somehow still miss him and am trying to get him back trough mutual friends and social media. His best friend (who has a gf) added me on fb randomly and I don’t understand why. My ex bf is not open about his relationship on fb and his gf isn’t active at all on social media. Should I keep postning intresting things about my life to get him back or should I just give it a rest ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 14, 2016 at 5:49 pm

Hi Caroline,

Nope, just keep being active in posting because that also means you’re being active in your life.

Emma

December 8, 2016 at 10:26 am

Hey there, I did NC, but found out through mutual friends that my ex is seeing someone. We have been texting and I’m building rapport with him, but I don’t know if my chances are low. I think he started seeing her after things ended between us (maybe after a month), and I’m not sure how serious it is. I think he has been seeing her for 2 months now. Our texts are friendly and he’s responded to most of them, but he doesn’t initiate. He also hasn’t mentioned her to me. He thinks I do not know, is he trying to keep me as an option? Should I back off? Or keep communicating with him? I also don’t want to keep initiating all the time. I normally text when I have something substantial to say. And he responds to them and our conversations are light and fun. But I’m also not sure if I should ask him about this girl, or if I should play stupid if I want to win him back. I think he’s the one for me, but I don’t want to become the other woman. What do you think?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2016 at 12:04 pm

Hi Emma,

when did you break up? When did you do nc? How long have you been texting now?

Niki

December 7, 2016 at 6:12 pm

I was with someone for 6 months we broke up due to long distance,him going back to uni. He said maybe one day we can be together I reacted well and did no contact for 40 days. broke no contact 1 week ago and he said he is with someone that his parents have set him up with, a recent thing. I told him that I was fine with it and that I’ve also been on dates. Since then we have been talking as friends, he told me he misses me and I said he won’t loose me as a friend and sometimes he would add a bit of sexual banter and ofcourse I remind him that he has a girlfriend, I do not go along with it. Yesterday he said that he needs to stop being cheeky and distance himself. I responded with ‘no problem’ do you think I should do the no contact rule again? Or just wait for him to speak to me again? This would mean I’m doing the no contact rule twice

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2016 at 11:03 am

Hi Niki,

I dont think you should restart the no contact rule but while he’s not initiating be active in life and in posting in social media

Paula

December 2, 2016 at 9:59 am

My BF left me six months ago for somebody that worked for him. The split was hard for me as we were together 18 years and I thought everything was good. I was totally blind sided by him leaving and its been a hard road to recovery. I am still taking it a day at a time. My ex has stayed in contact, more so when things haven’t been going to well in his new relationship. I have learnt the hard way that he is just using me as an emotional crutch when something isn’t going right in his life. Saying no or not helping someone you still love is difficult but it has to be done.Especially when I have realised that he is just using me when it suits him. Does he regret what he has done, who knows but for my own peace of mind and healing I sent him a text to say that he needs to stay away from me. Its been three weeks now and then out of the blue, just when i thought he has got the hint he text to say what time would I be home and he was outside my house. I said I was out and wouldn’t be back until late. Maybe I shouldn’t have answered but I did. Its almost like he has a sixth sense when I am starting to feel a bit better in myself. I am trying NC as best I can but it is difficult. He has to realise that I am not interested in his dramas or his life any more.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 2, 2016 at 7:19 pm

Hi Paula,

that’s good.. Focus in having a new you new life..

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