How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has A Girlfriend V. 2.0

1,117 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has A Girlfriend -Version 2.0-”

Angel

August 25, 2016 at 6:51 pm

You say that the more time that passes, the less likely his new GF is a rebound?
What if you have broken up a year ago, but during that year you two were broken up, you both still hung out, texted each other, called each other, and still slept together??
We broke up May 2015 but still hung out, and called, text, and even slept together right up until recently. Recently meaning mid March of 2016, until one day we got into a BIG disagreement, and ever since that we slowly stopped talking and hanging out, and now as of July he has been dating a women 6 years older then himself and she has two kids and has also been married before, and i know looks doesn’t always matter, but I am totally way better looking then she is….
Not too mention that I’ve know my EX ever since the beginning of grade school and have been friends for that long,and we also share a lot of the same friends….
When I broke it off he was SO HURT AND DEVASTATED!!!!
Is this relationship with this older women with kids a rebound or is it love??
Plus they just started dating back in July a few days before my bday actually, and on my bday I ran into him and his new GF,and he acted totally weird and so nervous that he was kinda trying to hide her so I couldn’t See her and he turned his back to me and didn’t even look at me or say anything too me, he was all fidgety and nervous you could tell. That happened on a Thursdays but the Monday just before this happens like three days prior we ran into each other on a job site and he went outta his way to come say hi too me and made a little bit of small talk and cracked a few jokes with me, but then after goin outta his way to say hi and be all nice, then to run into him at the only good brain town on my bday he’s there with his new girlfriend and he totally ignores me!!!
What does all that crap really mean??

Angel

August 29, 2016 at 7:41 pm

And also what do you mean by so he won’t be protective of his new gf.
Sorry for all the questions, but I do thank you so much for taking the time outta your no doubt really busy day to answer my questions and for helping me out!!
Xox 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 31, 2016 at 10:37 am

It’s ok! That’s good that you have questions!

He needs to think that you have moved on because if he thinks you’re trying to get him back, he would avoid you so that his new gf wouldn’t be angry with him and if he really moved on or starting to, the last thing he wants is to give you hope.
Angel

August 29, 2016 at 7:38 pm

I don’t really understand what you mean when you say he has too think you have moved on to have a restart?
Do you think this new girl is just a redound to get me jealouse and for me to wake the hell up??
We were at a bar together when a few guys hit on me told me I was gorgouse and asked for my number andi gave a guy my number right in front of him and that’s when he started dating this new much older lady with kids. If I do and I kinda have moved on, do you think there is still a chance?.
Angel

August 28, 2016 at 3:20 am

I said March but it was more around the end of April begining of May.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 29, 2016 at 2:55 pm

Hi Angel,

it means you were friends with benefits and now he has moved on to a new girl.. he has to think first that you have moved on to have a restart with him and so, that he won’t be protective of his new gf.
Angel

August 25, 2016 at 6:54 pm

The only good bar in town on my bday I meant too type****

Sparrow

July 23, 2016 at 3:26 pm

Here’s my situation. Rob and I started dating on 2/15/14. We had a good 1 1/2 years in until he dumped me in October of 2015. He gave me this very lame excuse as to why he wanted to break up. It turned out that he really liked this one coworker of his, Ally. She was also in a serious relationship at the time with Chris. Two days after we split, she broke up with Chris. Her and Rob started dating a week after we broke up. After the breakup, I begged for him back, which led Ally to start texting me and threatening me. I’ve hated her ever since. Eventually, I let things go and moved on to someone else, Travis. Apparently, Ally had never really fully left Chris and ended up going back to him. She just left Rob waiting for her while she was wishy washy. He then contacted me on and off from about end of November to March, and I also ended up cheating on Travis with Rob multiple times, so I decided to break things off with Travis. From about beginning of March to mid April, I did full no contact with Rob. When I contacted him again, I’d found out he had just gotten with another girl, Laura, whom he never really liked in the first place. He decided to break things off and come back to me on 4/22/16. Our second time around was great. We never fought, we saw each other frequently, our families still adored each other, and we fell in love with each other once again. His mom was absolutely thrilled to see us together again since I was the only girl he’d ever brought home whom she actually liked. About mid May, Ally called him while we were hanging out because Chris had dumped her because he was leaving for the military. She wanted to talk to me for advice, but Rob told her to leave me alone and that she owed me an apology for all the threats from the initial breakup, and she refused. He stopped talking to her for a while after that. A few weeks later, Ally messaged me and said that she was sorry and wanted to be friends with me. Knowing that she’s one of Rob’s closest friends and he could resent me if I kept hating her, I forgave her and agreed to being friends. Him and Ally started talking normally, and we stayed pretty even keel. We even took our first overnight vacation together for his birthday on June 29th. A couple weeks ago, she found out that Chris was talking crap about her behind her back when she logged into his Twitter. Rob went to comfort her like the nice guy he was, but I became jealous for them hanging out because I knew that they still had feelings for one another. He immediately became defensive and took her side. On 7/20, he broke it off with me. He admitted to still having feelings for her, and while she wasn’t ready for anything now, he wanted to wait and see where things could potentially go in the future. He felt really awful about the breakup and could tell he was totally confused as to what he wants. I let him have his space and haven’t begged or anything. The day after we off called things off, a friend of Ally’s texted me, saying that I should go back to Rob because he loved me. They told me that Ally wasn’t ready for a relationship and would like to see us together again. I confronted him about it, and it only made him angry and more set on dating her. The day after that, Ally contacted me and said that she was going to block Rob out because she knows he only left me to try things with her, and she knows that he truly loves me, nothing would ever work between the two of them, and she wasn’t over Chris yet. She also told me to show up at his house because he’d love seeing me. I thanked her for being so kind, and I showed up to his house to talk to him about it. Apparently, they were still talking and she “wasn’t thinking clearly in the moment” when she said that she wouldn’t contact him. He also said that she goes back and forth on the idea of dating him (which isn’t fair to him again). Seeing him only made him angrier with me and more adamant on dating her. I told him that they were playing games so that him and I would be pulled farther apart, but he didn’t see it that way. So last night, I’d decided to block Ally and her friend and go into no contact with Rob. How do I convince him to stop pursuing Ally and to stop talking to her if I do date him again? When they had their little fling back in October, his parents didn’t like her and she was wishy washy. He’s blinded by her. I don’t get it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 25, 2016 at 10:47 am

Hi Sparrow,
you can’t actually convince him.. but you can influence his thinking by not chasing him and being your best and letting him prove first whatever you hear from him or frim others

lotus

July 21, 2016 at 12:56 pm

Hi Chris!!

I was with my ex for about 3 years from which we stayed in long distance relationship during one year just before breaking up. We met in university during our first year and we got close so he told me he loved me and asked me to be his girlfriend but I was in the playful part of my life and had been heartbroken before so I said no. Then I dated someone for about a year but it didn’t work. I was still looking at my ex from far and when the relationship with the other guy ended, I went to him and we started getting close again but nothing was really clear (you know like most girls I wasn’t patient and afraid he was gonna try to get back at me). He became distant and I felt abandoned and disappointed again so I went away on weekend and ended up sleeping with another guy. And that’s when my ex started getting closer again, telling me now he had stuff to take care of with the administration. So I felt guilty about what I did and ended up telling him the truth and broke up with him because I felt he deserved better. But turns out I was just feeling worse so a friend helped me to get him back and we were alright with ups and down until I learnt I was pregnant. He was travelling the following morning to go home coz we had both graduated. I could not keep the pregnancy cow we weren’t ready at all but the stress and the scare of it was too much. I ended up having a miscarriage and was in worse shape. His best friend who was supposed to watch over me and help me through it lured me into his bed and after tried to played mind games on me, saying if I was to tell him the truth I would lose him. It happened 4 times before I could break from the cycle and I ended telling my ex who was furious at both of us of course. You can imagine! The relationship became really somehow, we barely talked so I thought maybe he didn’t want to be in it anymore so I suggested we break up instead of being miserable and he agreed. That happened last year in august. But surprisingly, we kept in touch and he came to see in December. We talked about getting back together and he said it would be hard but we stayed in touch. One day I saw a pic of a girl and asked about it, he said she was a close friend. That there was a mutual feeling but that he was afraid because of what had happened between his bestfriend and I. I asked him he wanted me to know that he had move on and also do the same, he said no. So I was planning a trip to visit him and he knew it. But 2 days ago after talking on the phone, he told me he knew I was trying to get us back together but that he was not gonna try it, that he didn’t want to give me false hope. I was sad and angry at first cow I felt that’s what he’d been giving me all along but then I stopped the emotional process and told him I accepted his decision. I even encouraged him to move through the fear if he wanted to be serious with the girl and he thanked me for the advice saying he would try. But now I’m asking myself why I even advised him on his relationship. Maybe I should have let them drawn in it…I miss him terribly
Truth is I had a lot of issues with my self esteem and a fear of rejection that led me to make all those bad choices in our relationship. I have been working on myself since the breakup and I am much better. But he doesn’t want to work it out anymore 🙁 . I wanted to cancel my trip but he said he wouldn’t mind me visiting him but I told him no, I needed to process things. maybe letter. we said we are still good friends and he wanted me to know he does not hate me. It’s been 3 days and I had decided already to cut ties for a while when i read your article. Do you think there’s still hope? Should I try the ex boyfriend recovery?

lotus

July 23, 2016 at 6:35 pm

I have decided to focus on myself first without thinking of getting him back. Maybe it is actually the best thing for him to date someone else. I am doing the NC for me until I can completely detach myself from him then maybe give a try to the friendship. Thanks a lot for your help and your response Amor.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 26, 2016 at 7:21 am

that’s good..you’re welcome 🙂
lotus

July 21, 2016 at 1:03 pm

I forgot to mention he’s been friend with the new girl for about as long as we’ve known each other which is more less 5 years now.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 22, 2016 at 12:46 pm

Hi Lotus,

yeah ,a lot has happened that probably makes him not trust you anymore.. To be honest, it would take a long time because you have to start with yourself first and time has to pass for him to forgive you too and get over what happened, see you in a different light and trust you again

TAY

July 18, 2016 at 7:12 pm

Hi Chris/Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Team,

I met my ex-boyfriend through a mutual friend (she set us up) and we dated for 4 months. I initiated the break-up and it’s been about 2 months since our break-up. Since the breakup, I have been in active NC period and focusing on myself by exercising more and studying for graduate school.

Through the same mutual friend that set us up, I found out that my ex-boyfriend found a new girlfriend 3 weeks after we broke up. The new girlfriend lives in Japan (long distance relationship) and is also a friend of the mutual friend that set us up. His new girlfriend was in town for 1 week and he asked her out during the 1 week she was in town. So far, they have been long distance for 1 month.

Does it sound like a rebound relationship? Should I continue with NC?

TAY

September 19, 2016 at 7:32 pm

Hi Amor,

Thanks for your help! It’s been 3 weeks so far. Even though we text every day, it’s only 1-2 texts from him (which is consistent when we were in a relationship). At this point, it feels like it’s a one-sided conversation since it seems like he’s just being polite and responding to me out of courtesy since I’m always initiating the conversation. Therefore, I don’t think I’m at a point to transition to calls. Do you think I should continue texting?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 21, 2016 at 3:45 pm

hmm..rest for maybe 3-5 days and then you have work on your topics and are you still actively improving yourself?
TAY

September 14, 2016 at 9:42 pm

So, I’ve been texting with my ex-boyfriend for a couple weeks now. While the texts have been casual/non-emotional and his responses are always positive, I am the one initiating all the conversations. Now, I’m wondering if I should I still continue texting him? Or, should I stop?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 2:28 pm

HI tay,

do you mean 2-3 weeks or more? You should transition to calls now.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 20, 2016 at 11:51 am

Hi Tay,

yes it looks like a rebound.. you can initiate contact since it’s already been two months

Heather MacNeal

July 18, 2016 at 3:13 am

Hi guys, I need some advice, my ex and I were together for about a year. After that year, we found out we were pregnant with a baby girl, about 3 months into my pregnancy, I was very emotional, his parents were very rude, he was distant, etc, well we broke up. We hardly talked at all through the rest of my pregnancy, then in December of 2015 I went into labor, he was there for everything. For all intents and purposes, I would say we fell completely back in love. We were together every day, saying we loved each other, talking about getting a house together. Then after about 3 months of that, he texts me and says “I think we should just be friends”. Naturally I was like WHAT. But then I found out about 3 days later that he was dating his ex from high school. The thing is, he has a kid with her too. She has had many psychotic breakdowns, threatened to kill his whole family, etc. Last I knew that whole family HATED her. But now all of a sudden they are living together and happy as can be. They have been together for about 4 months this time so far. I am confuaed, hurt, angry. What do I do??

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2016 at 5:08 pm

Hi Heather,

yeah,either he’s nuts to be with her or we’re not getting all sides of the story but either way, start being in no contact and being active with yourself.. get your prepregnancy body back, cherish moments with your daughter, take her out and bond with her and don’t forget to be active in social media

Mar

July 16, 2016 at 7:43 am

I had a boyfriend for about 4 months. We got along really well, went out on dates whenever we could, he invited me to meet his friends and parents in a casual way (for reasons, I couldn’t go). I was really happy and believed we could make it work.
He’s 27 and I’m 31, we met in the hospital I work at where he was finishing an internship, and we are in the same field. We both come from long-relationship breakups (mine after 4 years, his 6). He has some emotional baggage (his little sister died very young and that’s part of the reason he studied his major).

We had sex once, it was exciting, and hot, and awkward (my case every first time with a new guy), and afterwards I mentioned I have the contraceptive implant.

A week after that (July 8) I asked him via text about a “whim” he mentioned having. And then he confessed that his ex-girlfriend contacted him, told him she was pregnant by another guy who told her he didn’t want anything to do with her or the kid, and she was offering him “sharing this phase” with her. I went cold, and wrote him that was not a “phase” that was a lifetime! And he wrote to me he was actually considering it because “they had gone trough a lot together”.
I know about that after having been in a long relationship myself, but I would never go back to my ex under any circumstances. In fact I did a very conscious, very determined cleansing after my ex broke up with me (he was depressed and needed to heal on his own, I hope he’s better), and I think I’m awesome (hardworking, independent, smart, great posture, pretty and tall, I think most guys won’t try asking me out because of all that).

I was so angry at him! I felt I was the rebound (tell me, am I? I don’t know how long after his breakup had passed, but I think he used me). I then wrote him he needed to think it through (he’s in the finishing process of graduating and the only job offer he has is poorly paid, but is an OK opportunity to start with for a recent grad by himself), talk with his family (he had already talked with his father and his father told him he would be the one to be happy or miserable with whatever he decided, but his father would support him anyway), and to go and work on his own issues and be himself and be free before anything.
He wrote that maybe it would be better to get away from everyone and go to therapy, that he didn’t want me to be sad, and that he would be there if I wanted to be friends. I didn’t accept nor reject his friendship offer.

I don’t know his pregnant ex, and I’m not interested in her. I do think I’m better than her for all the things I wrote and more.

He had plans to continue studying, looking for better job offers, travel, learning another language, learning to dance, and lots of dreams. I was enthusiastic about going at it together, but now I’m sad and angry at him.
I know there must be lots of people who can do all that and have kids, but statistically that’s not the case where we live. Here, if someone (male or female) gets pregnant at any point before graduating college, they will never finish. They may get a job in the work field, but without the degree. I have seen that every time (I also teach college and have seen all pregnant students and/or their partners eventually fail and leave), and asking around colleagues and friends I didn’t find someone who graduated after pregnancy nor someone who knew about other people who had pulled it off. He is very intelligent for projects and work and such (yes, I think he’s a fool about his feelings), and would hate for our career to lose someone who could achieve great things.

Since that day I haven’t texted or called or anything. I did write the pitiful, spiteful, hateful, long text, adding a bit everyday, but didn’t send it. I know he maybe knows I was writing because we use Whatsapp (maybe he thought I left something written and forgot?).

Today, July 15, I finally erased it, along with most of the photos he sent, and I’m planning to change cellphone number next week. I changed number after my last breakup, but I really want this guy back and that’s the only thing that is making me reconsider.

What do you think? What are the odds I can gain him back? Is there any chance? If so, does the No Contact period start last week or this one?
If it’s a lost cause or you think it’s a doomed relationship, please tell me, I need all the feedback I can get to either get him back or go on with my life.

*English is my second language, please excuse any faults.

Mar

July 24, 2016 at 4:05 am

Thanks for all your responses Amor.

I think I’m doing quite well with NC. When I first wrote I was angry all the time and wanted to check his social media constantly, but now I don’t have the urge. I deleted all his photos and conversations. I got a new hair cut, have better eating habits and lost 4 lbs. I’m planning a holiday with friends and I don’t miss him. I actually feel good.

I’m not sure if I’ll write him again after NC. I’ll keep you posted if I do and what happens.

Thank you again, you have been very helpful 🙂 Keep up the great work!
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 26, 2016 at 6:09 pm

you’re welcome Mar! I’m happy for you!
Mar

July 19, 2016 at 5:27 am

Yes, she asked him that. I don’t know if she’s graduated, but he hasn’t. And yes, he said he was considering fathering the unborn child his ex conceived with another guy. He blamed “his heart”…
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 20, 2016 at 3:33 pm

well it looks like he still loves her.. do nc and start today..be active in having a new life.. nc is not just for trying to get him back, it’s for moving on too.. but for you, do nc to try to increase your chances.. if it doesn’t, at least you have started moving on
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 16, 2016 at 8:45 pm

Hi Mar,

you mean the girl asked him to be the father of her unborn child? and he considered it? Is it because he wants to help her finish college?

ANONYMOUS

June 15, 2016 at 6:05 pm

Hi,

I was with my ex for 5 years, he went to rehab before we broke up and i supported him through rehab but when he came back i was upset because of the lying and dissapearing from before (which i understand it was because of the drugs he was in) and decided to break up with him. I applied no contact for a month and he used to write me that he missed me and stuff, we saw each other a couple of times after that and after he told me he was dating someone new and that it was serious…my heart was shattered….after 3 months that he has been dating this new girl we saw each other for some paperwork that he had to sign (i used to work with him before the brakup, and there is still some paperwork pending for him to leave our company) and he told me that he was doing great, we talked about some things from our relationship and he appologised for the things he had done, he said he had screwed it up…and then he said that i should know that he had just moved in with his new girlfriend of ONLY 3 months!!!! I almost died of heartbreak when he told me but put a nice face and told him i was really happy that he was doing good.

I dont know what to do to get him back, do i still have a chance at all of getting him back???? please help me, im still in love with him…

we are going to meet up again for some paperwork in july probably by end of july (the last time he will need to sign something from me and so the last time i will have an excuse to get him to meet up with me)

what should i do now?

ANONYMOUS

June 17, 2016 at 2:16 am

i was thinking of may telling him i have sarted to date someone new (even though its a lie) just to maybe wake him up and have him think about me more….and then when meeting him the last time for paperwork say that i broke up with the guy i was seeing to leave the door open to make a move…maybe even tell him ive started thinking about him?? Do you think that is a good idea to get him back?

I need something big to make him leave the girl he is living with, we had planned on moving in together before the break up…and i feel incredibly upset that he has done it with someone else…. i really miss him, made a mistake when breaking up. and am still completly in love with him…

please help!!
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 18, 2016 at 8:34 am

Hi Anonymous,

don’t lie.. focus in imrpovig yourself instead.. watch Chris’ advice here:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)

Anonymous

May 19, 2016 at 6:44 pm

Hey Chris! I read all your books and I’m the three months since our break up I truly believe I’ve become the UG girl as I’ve had many guys approach me. I still yearn for my ex though.

We did limited contact for three months and I’ve now found out he started seeing someone a week after the break up. He told me they’re going strong and serious. He did say he wants our friendship though. I’ve stated to move on and date others but I still feel he’s the one for me. Considering that he said he wants to still be my friend, yet social media and him tell me they’re stronger than we were, what should I do? Should I continue with my goal of getting him back by continuing our regular coffee dates? Or should I just move on?

Anonymous

May 25, 2016 at 10:48 pm

I usually am the one to initiate contact. Today I tried doing one text remembering our old times and he just looked at it and ignored it. I don’t want to come off as desperate by following up but it’s driving me crazy!! I’m afraid if I don’t act now it’s just going to strengthen his new relationship. On the other hand I know I need to wait. Please help!
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 29, 2016 at 10:58 am

be careful with that because if he senses that you’re trying to get him back he will protect his current relationship. Try to check this other post too: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 24, 2016 at 8:57 pm

Hi Anonymous,

If they are really going stronger, it depends on you if you want to wait and while waiting build the attraction by maintaining being the ungettable girl and not being available always. Maintain presence through social media and when you go out on coffee meet ups, make it happy always.

Erin

April 28, 2016 at 5:25 am

Hi,
First off I want to say I bought the book and he bit about being the “ungettable girl” has really helped me a ton..not just with the focus on fixing things with my ex, but a reminder to focus on myself for a little while. Anyway…
I was with my partner for 4.5 years. We have an “on again off again” relationship by means of there have been a multitude of other women but he always comes back to me. Now I want to forwarn, this is truthfully a pretty turbulent relationship. I truly and honestly believe he has some serious emotional and mental health problems that he will not address. He does have moments of clarity where he seems to realize his ways are destructive and, truthfully, cruel, but he continues to act on his emotions and just can’t seem to grow up..
About six months ago, we got into a major fight, which isn’t uncommon; however it got physical between us which is something that has never happened. The dust settled and we continued on our rocky road, until one evening about two weeks post fight I caught him in bed with a “friend” who knew we were dating. As it turns out, they had slept together before (as I suspected). He told her we were over, he never wanted to see me again, blahblah. I was crushed. She hugged me and apologized profusely and swore she didn’t want me to see her as a home wrecker. In fact, she even told me she would be done seeing him after this ordeal.
Naturally that didn’t happen. My ex is the most manipulating person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. We didn’t speak for a few weeks until I found out that they were still seeing each other. Que more arguments. Now I know how foolish it was to even bother contacting him again, but I was desperate. You see, this has happened before. Nearly a year and a half ago, out of the blue, he called me up to tell me he met his soulmate, the love of his life and he didn’t want me around anymore. This was about two weeks after he slept with his best friend and we were trying to “recover” from that. A manic wisdom to say the least? After about s month with this psycho, he left after realizing she got a new “soulmate” every few weeks. Of course I fell for the sob stories, the apologies, the “I love yous”. I’ve accepted behavior like this for years because I do truly from the bottom of my heart love him, and truth be told he has a problem with drugs. This absolutely does not help his fragile mental state.
Anyway, back to the current situation. We start sleeping with each other again; he invites me to thanksgiving dinner with his extended family. She is aware and is texting him the whole time we are together. I went through his phone that night (bad) to discover this.
This continues for about two months before this girl and I run into each other. Ex and I have a very long discussion about integrating his girl into our relationship. I agree because I would prefer to share than lose him. We have also tried this before with yet another girl a few years prior. It didn’t work out, because, well, he’s awful and she wasn’t stupid. However the girl from our first “throuple” was always kind and sweet. This new girl turns out to be as manipulating as my ex. This three way relationship lasts a few weeks before I lose my sh*t. Ex and I have a long night of discussion. He tells me he’s attracted to this other girl because she is “chaotic” and brings out a side of him that he’s not ready to give up (by means of growing up). He swears she is more of a friend with benifits, while she considers them to be in a relatively serious relationship. He told me he’s going to make her understand that he only wants her companionship at this point, and would like to fix things with me.
Nope, same BS. We fight, he sleeps with her, I lose my cool, we don’t speak. Que the beginning of March. Turns out this girl has been sleeping with his friends the whole time and he is “so sorry” because he realizes how badly he made me feel, as he’s not experienced it. The entire month he insists he wants to be with me seriously. I am his rock, I am his light, he knows I will never hurt him or use him like all of the others. He drops 400$ on my birthday, not including a totally separate date he had taken me on a week prior. I have read the texts myself, he told her multiple times to stay away from him because he wanted to stop messing around with my emotions.
Please keepin mind, through these months this girl will text me telling me “have fun being XXXs side b*tch for another four years”, vandalized my car, and would put up stupid pictures of say, her sock in his bedroom just for me to see. We fight, and he turns to her because he is so desperate for attention. Anyway, truly two days after my birthday I discover she’s stayed the night at his house. He calls me when I call him out. He loves me more than anything and wishes so badly we could be together, but he just doesn’t want to give up this part of his life yet. I beg him not to leave again, because I know his pattern. I ask him to spare me the misery and just stay, I’ll agree to anything he wants to do. He told me he knows that deep down it kills me that he is constantly cheating and lying to me, and he just doesn’t want to do it to me anymore because I don’t deserve it, and he loves me too much to see me so sad because of who he is. He said we needed a break before our relationship hits the point of no return.
Naturally, I lose it because I have a horrible temper and have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder that causes me to manically lash out with blind rage. So this turns into a fight. I get drunk (and I don’t drink, ever) and text him begging him to stay. He says we can talk when I’m in a better state of mind. He blows me off until he explodes. I had explained to him (post mania) I wanted to drop some of his stuff off at his back door and when wont he be home? When is a good time? He freaks, and tells me he never wants to speak to me again. Even threatened me with the cops, and physical harm. I say it with 100% honesty, at this point I had given up and truly was very, very calm regarding my actions. I really just couldn’t look at his stuff, it made me so very sad, but I didn’t have the heart to throw it away.
After this argument something struck me. I realized this is not love. You never put someone you love through hell like I have been through. I committed to a NC freeze out. For the first few weeks I did well. I was determined to get him back. Then he texted me. “I’m so sorry for everything, I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I hope you’re alright. If you would still like to talk, we can.”
I didn’t respond but I was livid. The exact same pattern we’ve struggled through for years. He could have saved me sleepless nights, nightmares, panic attacks, emotional break downs in my work setting if he just talked to me like I asked. When I said “you will regret saying this to me, you will regret your actions and one of these days you’re going to hurt me so badly I won’t be able to forgive you again.”
It’s gotten to that point. He’s called and texted me since as well, and I haven’t answered. I shouldn’t, but I quietly creep on their social media occasionally, and, shocker, this girl STILL stalks me (on the Internet AND in the real world). I could put something up and within hours she has a subtle response. I have them blocked but I have a feeling she uses her friends accounts to see my things.
This weekend, her best friend managed to find me on snapchat and I snapped. This is too far. I have gotten to the point where I’m not entirely sure I even want to be with this man (re: boy) anymore because of this. He truly chose this girl over me. She doesn’t work, she doesn’t go to school, she lives at home and is able to pay for anything new through money her family shells out to her. I work full time, have a small business on the side, and I’m going to school to become a doctor..all things my ex was both proud of and resented me for (“you’re always staying late at work!” “Why do you always have to talk about medicine?”) I understand my flaws but my work ethic is the only thing i have to keep me sane at this point on my life.. We had troubles no doubt. And this is just another girl who has convinced him that she will make him happy. I know they’re not. You don’t obsessively post things about yor rebound relationship on social media if you are confident and happy. I know he is using her just like she is using him. But now they’re invading my personal life when I haven’t been involved with either of them.
I also should add that here are a number of relatively unimportant details that go on with this chronically, including him bad mouthing me to his (and her) friends to the point where his roommate now hates me. Etc. details like that, arguments I can relive like they happened yesterday. All that good stuff.
So yesterday, in a moment of emotional weakness I called him. (NC has been about a month) expected to get his voicemail but, surprise! He answered. I fell flat on my face. I planned on leaving a calm voicemail regarding my frustration to these stalker like tendencies of his group of friends but instead I panicked. After just s few words about how surprised I was to catch him (he was at work), I said, “we need to talk.” His response? “I know.” From there it was “have a good day” and I haven’t heard from him since. I’m running on very little sleep right now due to my jam packed work schedule that I filled to the brim since he last left. I am being very emotionally reactive and have been obsessively mulling over the past six months. I do not want to be the one to reach out again, I’m sure he eventually will (he has serious attachment issues and can’t let anyone out of his life). However, I don’t know where to go from here. As much as I would love to play him for a fool,’I love him. I don’t play games anymore and I wish he could see all these girls do. Deep down he knows but can’t change. He has zero respect for me and it’s aggravating. There’s a part of me that still wants things to work out, but i still have a lot of resentment towards him. I couldn’t imagine forgiving him any time soon as much as I would like for things to go “back to normal”. However I’m truly fearful I will lose him forever if I don’t give in. But giving in means I have no respect for myself.’ Plus, I don’t really think there will be an emotional come back from him this time. We’re both done but neither will let go.
I am anxious waiting to hear from him again. I’m not entirely sure what to say because I don’t know what to do. Initially I said no more unless he proves to me worthy, but how will I ever believe him? And more importantly, how do I get him to confess his regrets? He’s even reached out to my friends, telling them how he feels awful for being terrible to me. But his actions contradict his words. If he cared so much, why continue to see someone he’s openly admitted to not loving? If I’m so great, and he wants us to “end up together one day, when [he] can grow up” then why continue to do damage? I have so many questions. I want so many answers from him, but I also want to stay far away; not only for my sanity, but I want him to realize I’m done being treated so badly and I am in the process of leaving permanently this time. I don’t want to be the girl he always comes back to anymore. I want him to panick over my loss, but I feel as though it will just push him toward her and more shallow relationships to fill the gap.
What in gods name do I do now?

Erin

April 29, 2016 at 3:37 am

Actually, we spoke on the phone for about an hour today. It turned into a fight because I resorted to pushing answers out of him. I called him out for being unhappy. He swears up and down he is not committed to this girl and he’s trying to distance himself from her…and he only has contacted me drunk looking for sex and then thinks better of it which is why I haven’t heard from him. He also told me that he essentially uses this girl the way she uses him and that I “just don’t understand”. I “made him this way” because I pushed him away. Really opened my eyes to how distant we have been. He said our relationship was beating a dead horse…then turned around to say, “I care about you too much to torment you.” THEN turned around to say that I’m not good enough because I can’t let go and I always play the woe is me card.
Plot twist, this girl has actually made fake social media accounts to stalk me. Now this is getting freaky. I’m disappointed our conversation ended so poorly, but he did text me saying he was trying to calm down and gave me the links to all of her fake accounts for me to block. (This is presumably why he is backing off from her). But he feeds me this bull and what they’ll be cool in a week? How do I get this b*tch out of here and get my boyfriend back?! I want him to see me the way he did before. He even said “I’m done arguing over the same stuff with you, things are never going to change between us because you won’t hear me out.” ?! How can I get him to chase me and stay this time?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 7:36 am

Hi Erin,

if you really want him to chase..stop talking to him and focus on your own growth.. success attracts all kinds of people.. especially the ones who have done you wrong.. move on.. he’ll chase you but this time.. no more going back and forth.. unless he really has changed.. don’t talk to him

Alex

April 22, 2016 at 4:56 pm

I’ve met my Ex in June 2014 while still presenting as male. It was love at first sight. I told my friends I will marry this man someday after just 1 date and he told the same thing to his friends.
I’ve been dealing with gender issues for years (I considered transitioning 6 years earlier but didn’t have the courage). In the relationship I felt like a girl (I don’t know how to describe this but he just treated me in a way that I would forget we’re technically both male). I was always very feminine, wore makeup, androgynous cloths etc. He was tall, masculine and ‘straight-acting’ (hate this term). People would often mistake us for a straight couple. I loved that and quickly found out I want to feel this way outside of the relationship as well.
I did not tell him about it afraid of his reaction. Instead I started pushing him away. He was also dealing with a lot at the time and we ended breaking up. I think we weren’t ready for a relationship at the time. Never the less we still loved each other and hoped to get back together soon.
2 months later we arranged a meeting in which we discussed our problems and why we broke up. I told him that I want to start hormones and he wasn’t surprised at all. He wanted to stay and be with me during this journey but I wanted us to stay friends first and not jump into a relationship. I was terrified that once he sees my body changing he will leave me and I wouldn’t be able to handle that. He identified as gay after all…
He tried to get back together for the next 6 months. We would talk on the phone or spend some days together but I still didn’t want a relationship and that’s all he wanted. We decided to move on but didn’t start dating other people until 2 more months.
Not taking him back may have been the biggest mistake of my life but transitioning was more than I even thought I could handle. The entire first year of was extremely hard and I just couldn’t be with him at the time. I was stressing out about everything else on a daily basis – being called ‘Sir’, feeling like a freak anywhere I went and my mood swings were terrible as well. He deserved better…
In June 2015 he started a new relationship. With a guy. I could see some similarities to me before transitioning but in general this made me think that he’s gay and wouldn’t be with me if I ever had lower surgery. I was happy for him. I told him about this and tried to move on as well. I still loved him but decided to lock my feelings away and focused on work, transitioning, travelling etc
9 months have passed. They were still together. I on the other hand changed A LOT. I’ve matured, accepted myself and discovered a new, calmer me. My hormonal balance was finally aligned with my brain and I haven’t felt this comfortable in my skin since before puberty. I still loved him dearly (I would compare every guy I dated to him and I felt I didn’t really want to move on).
About a month and a half ago I had the biggest breakdown in my life. My testosterone levels suddenly dropped from a male to female range and I was extremely emotional. I couldn’t stop crying for 2 days. I’ve realized how much I loved him and it felt like the wall I’ve build to pretend I didn’t fell apart and I couldn’t stop lying to myself. He was the only person I wanted to speak with at that time. I asked him would he be OK with that and he told me to meet him in 30 minutes.
Once I saw him for the first time after over a year I completely broke down. We hugged me as if no time has passed. I was crying on his sweater and could see how much he cared… BUT I still knew he was 9 months with someone so he was clearly happy with this person and I shouldn’t interfere. Still, we’ve talked for 4 hours that day.
Over a month have passed since then. A month of me thinking of him everyday. Once that wall wasn’t there to protect me any more I realized I can’t just love someone so much and not do anything about it. I still wanted him. Always have… I believe this sort of connection happens once in a lifetime. I’ve been in love before but never like this (and I’ve been dating guys since I was 13). You probably think I’m crazy saying that I still love him, maybe I’m just lonely right? I’m not. I couldn’t be happier and I have no problems with passing or dating straight guys – but he is the love of my life and I know that if we had a second chance we would stay together forever (as cliche as it sounds). He was with someone for 7 years before me and it didn’t work out, so why shouldn’t I try now if maybe this new person is not going to last either?
We met 3 days ago, after more then a month since I last saw him and I could feel his love in every word, I could see his doubts and how much he struggles with still having such strong feelings for me. I didn’t hold back any words that I felt needed to be said and neither did he. He told me how beautiful I was, how he’s even more attracted to me, how the surgery wouldn’t change anything because all he really loved were my eyes and lips and that will never change but I look happier, more confident and calmer now. He told me he understands why we were not together, how it was not a good time for us. He said he has stronger feelings for me than he had for his 7 year relationship.
When I told him about him being the love of my life and how I don’t want to move on and asked him should I delete our pictures and just forget him – he couldn’t give me an answer. I’ve asked 3 times and he finally told me that if I feel this is the only thing that would help me to move on than, yes, I need to do that because currently he’s in love with this new guy and he can’t just leave him like that. He said that this new relationship would have to end mutually.
OK. Here’s the thing. I know he loves me. I know he also believes we would be very happy together if we tried again BUT he’s a very faithful, sweet guy with a huge heart (he works for a Charity for Disabled Adults for God’s sake), he wouldn’t hurt a fly. I know he loves this new guy and they’ve been together for a while and it seems to be working out for them. I also know that the guy did not have an easy life and my Ex is very caring and couldn’t just leave him heartbroken without a good reason.
But the way he looked at me, the way he spoke and that final hug he gave me before we went our separate ways was so loving and intense… I just know I can win him back. We’ve matured and learn so much while being apart that everything we were arguing about is not even relevant any more. The only thing that is still there is this strong attraction, hours of talking like we’ve been seeing each other everyday, plenty of laughter and sharing the same values. Plus we look sooooo good together!
I mean honestly! This is a perfect match and it always has been, but the time just wasn’t right…
I just don’t know what to do any more. I’ve said everything I could and now it’s all in his hands. I’m just afraid he may start to lock those feelings away yet again and just focus on this new relationship. It’ll be easier now since I’m not there to remind him. I’m afraid he may not end this relationship because he doesn’t want to break someone’s heart who’s already been through a lot. He did that before. Remember that 7 year relationship? Yeah… He was not in love for the last 5 but didn’t want to hurt the guy… Ughhhh Yes, this is a pattern. I’m afraid he will not fight for his happiness or that he will be too afraid that I may reject him again at some point or somehow our relationship wouldn’t work this time around and then – instead of having 2 people that love him – he will be alone. I’m worried that this is going through his mind right now and that’s why he will leave everything as is.
What can I do? I want to stay somewhat relevant in his life but not contact him. I’ve done enough of that and feel it should be his turn now. I can give him as much time as he needs but I just don’t want him to move on from me completely…

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2016 at 1:39 pm

Hi Alex,

that actually makes sense.. you know I think you should tell that to him.. not in a blaming way of course… like ask him in a way that you’re trying to understand him so that he can reflect himself..but actually it’s really going to be hard for him because it seems that his current bf is a good person too.. but just help him think about staying for the wrong reason..don’t force him of course.. just ask that wouldn’t it be more cruel to stay with his current relationship just because he doesn’t want to hurt him because in the long run, that would still happen if he really doesn’t love him… come from a side that you’re trying to care for his current too.. I know it’s hard bit at least in that way, there’s a chance he would listen… he may not answer right away at that talk but he would definitely think about it
Alex

April 22, 2016 at 4:59 pm

BTW I’m 28 y/o and my Ex is 33 now.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 5:55 pm

I understand.. but the with what’s happened and also with the way you’re reacting now, the best choice is to do nc.. You have to put yourself first and regain balance.. Let him be for now and focus on healing and regaining your self confidence..
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 9:26 am

Hi Samira,

keep your distance.. I think he became protective of her because of what happenend.. and it has led him closer to her.. because of everything, the besr choice would be to be active with yourself but also be ready if he really doesn’t want to get back because he’s leaving…coz it looks like it’s not the best time to try to get him back.. I think the best time to try is when he’s already transferred
Sarah

April 10, 2016 at 4:38 pm

Hi, I was with my ex 4years breaking up at the end of Jan. He went to work and didn’t come home in the morning. I had some family issues and became a little down and tunnel visioned. He was always my sunshine, that I raced to see was always on my mind. However all the things i had planned to show him this were too late, he left. Anyway I’m afraid to said in the emotion of the break up I slept with him twice. So I asked him to leave me alone and started NC. Then realising he had something I tresured I broke it 3weeks in. I kept it business bit ended up chattin via text, which ended in a 2hour phone call and him begging for me to go and have sex. I said no but he came to where I livedn stupidly I opened the door. Since then I did my best not to contact him but I needed the usb back so had to meet him, and he kept texting even tho I ignored 90%. I saw him at work n got the USB and he text me that night and he next. I got messages about our past, how cute I am etc, trying not to pull me into a corner at work etc. I got frustrated and asked him to be honest as i would never be his fuck buddy and he said he still thought about holding me, the good times n yeah his a guy that find me attractive n thinks about sex. I went to talk to him n he spent an hour trying to get me to have sex which I refused, deleted his number and ignored all contact, untill our pet fell ill when I told him I was taking him to the vet. He offered to come round and I said no as( I didn’t want to see him) and a friend was coming round. He got obecessed by this being a date. Anyway this friend told me my ex was seeing someone, seemingly for a month, while doing all this stuff to me. I sent him a message saying his behavour as repellent. I sent the girl a message on Facebook and told her what he’d done, in the nicest way I could, as I’d of wanted to know. We met up and he apologised. He looked regreful about breaking up, told me he’d of never left if he’d realised how much I’d loved him and the girl he loved was back in front of him. Turns out his gf didn’t know he was meeting me and I told him I couldn’t be in contact with him in that case. His always seemed confused about our break up.is it possible to get him back or should I move on. Our relationship was really good.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 11, 2016 at 10:40 am

Hi Sarah,

I think it’s possible but it’s better if you let him prove first if he’s sincere..Try to finish no contact first.. It’s okay to meet him for needed things, you’re not breaking nc with that as long as you’re not talking about relationship and feelings.

Lucy

March 22, 2016 at 7:00 pm

Hi Chris! I broke up with my ex towards the end of December and decided to see him and apologize for my actions during our relationship in February. When we saw eachother he acted like nothing had even happened, expressed to me how he’s been constantly thinking of me, missed me and wanted to work on our relationship again. A week later he has a new girlfriend that he’s now living with! I called and texted him to ask why he lied to me about it ans instead of being a man about it he put his new gf on the phone to tell me to move on because he’s allowed to change his mind. This really hurt not because he has a new gf but he lied to me after telling me what he did when we saw eachother. The gf is not even his type and I want to know what this is about, am I in a good place in trying to get him back by using your method or is this a lost cause? Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 31, 2016 at 10:47 am

HI LUcy,

Let’s say there’s a chance for you to get him back when you do no contact, for me you shouldn’t get back with him. First he lied, then he had his new girlfriend talk to you.. That’s just lame and disrespectful. Find a better man.Let the new girl deal with a lesser guy.

Jenny

March 9, 2016 at 9:57 pm

I broke up with my ex at the end of december but we still had contact (and yes. I sadly have to admit that I begged and cried). He said that he is unsure about his feelings and getting back with me again. After he giving me hope I received the information that he flirted with a girl so much, he even asked her out about her relationship status. At this moment it was a sign that he made his descision. He was searching another aim while playing with me. I was so mad and told him that I finally agree that he is an asshole (he always says that to himself. And he really means it) and that I’ve lost my trust in him.

I then started the NC and was feeling better and better. Today, in the middle of the 3th week, I saw him at a meeting in an aid organisation where we just sit down and talk casually. We do this every wednessday. He was not there for a few months but today he showed up. I handled it pretty well. We just said hello and I answered some questions. But after some minutes a girl walked in and the both of them were really close together. She did not even belong there. I asked here if she wants to become a paramedic too but she only said that he (my ex) asked her to come. And I don’t know if i am thinking too much but I saw that he was looking at me, and as I looked at him he turned his head.

I must say the girls appereance is not what he aims for but her personality is somehow like mine. We even said something at the same time and then smiled at each other. I find her sympathic

Well, I must say, his actions are not always something a mature person would do. He either is being an asshole again or he really wanted to make me jealous (and maybe also hurt me)

What is your opinion about that?

jennifer

March 17, 2016 at 5:04 pm

Thank you for your answer
Yesterday he came again. I am proud of myself because I only concentraded on myself and the topic whe talked about. But every time i glanced towards him, I caught him staring at me.

I don’t want to have too much hope, but this is definitly a good sign
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2016 at 10:22 pm

Hi Jenny

obserbe first.. continue with nc and keep your cool coz if he’s making you jealous, you have to appear you’re not

Sara

March 8, 2016 at 8:59 pm

2 months ago, my ex left me and started a relationship with another girl around 2 weeks later. 2 weeks after that I found out that I’m expecting our FOURTH child together….we we’re together for 8 years. He comes round to see the kids but I’m desperate to get him back! The nc rule will be hard because of the contact? Help!!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2016 at 6:10 pm

Hi Sara,

I think you should tell him first that you’re pregnant in the calmest way and you’re not expecting him to return because of it and you understand of he wont.. I know it sounds sad but that will lessen the pressure for him.. and then let the idea marinate for him… do limited no contact..

It means you get to see each other because of the kids, he may want to assist with the pregnancy, but don’t initiate a talk, don’t talk about the relationship or feelings.. if he starts listen first.. If he’s just ranting agree and then politely excuse yourself..

If he’s sincerely trying to work things out, you can break no contact but if not..continue on lessening thr stress for you and the baby.. forget about him for now.. He’ll be there for the kids.. So, you have time.. what’s more important now is to get a reset and your baby to be happy

Frog

March 7, 2016 at 8:43 am

I broke up with my ex BF 3 years ago.. I got into a new relationship after 3 months of break up.. then I realized that I really love him. I waited waited for him to contact me.. but he did not. After 3 years (now) we saw each other again and he’s dating a new girl. I want him back I don’t know what to do.. I confess to him.. and he said that he already moved on and I should too.. but in my heart I can’t believe the words he was saying.. but it hurts. I am his first GF by the way. we have been together for 4 years. Now I really want him back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 8, 2016 at 1:25 pm

Hi Frog,

I think after 3 years, he really has moved on.. there’s a small chance if you get to be friends again but after you confessed, he’s probably going to avoid you to protect his current relationship… so, it means it has to take time again

Cherry

February 16, 2016 at 11:12 am

Hi,

Me and my ex have been broken up for almost two months now. I’ve done the no contact, did the working on myself and we got back into contact where I sort of messed up and told him I want to get back together but after he said he wasn’t sure and maybe we could get back together in the future I’ve stopped asking him about it and we just see each other as friends.

But lately I think he’s been seeing another girl but I’m not sure. This girl was like his best friend when we were dating and they would hang out all the time and I would get jealous of her even though he told me he only saw her as a sister. He would get angry with her a lot though tbh so I was never /really/ worried, but the other day some things they said made my heart lurch. We were supposed to all meet up and I met him first and while he was on the phone with her he playfully said he didn’t have any money to go on a date. And then the next day when we were together again she mentioned dates with him again but i have no idea if they were just playing around because a lot of times there are situations among my friends where they’re just going to hang out and playfully call those outings dates. Anyways, I’m not sure if they’re dating or not but if they are then this is a difficult situation for me, in my opinion, because this isn’t just some random girl – it’s one of his best friends.

Advice…?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2016 at 1:17 pm

Hi Cherry

Actually you have to get out of friendzone first…
Check this post out
How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

Lauren

February 3, 2016 at 3:10 pm

Hi,
Me and my ex broke up about four months ago after being together for a year and two months. I’ve been trying so hard to move past all of it but I really can’t and every day I feel more and more alone. I’m still in love with him and these feelings aren’t fading at all. He now has a new girlfriend, this started about two months ago. The worst part is she’s everything he always used to tell me that he avoids in a girl… I just want him back but I don’t know where to start. I haven’t contacted him since Christmas Day so I’m past a month of no contact now. But prior to that I did some pretty crazy things to try and get his attention back. I would message a lot and beg for him to talk to me. Since the breakup we have seen each other a couple of times, both times things have happened between us. The second time I calmly told him how I felt and we agreed to meet the next day for coffee where I straight out asked him if he still felt for me. He said he did but thought he had hurt me too much and we would not be able to move past the breakup. He said he wasn’t interested in the new girl and he was just trying to fill the space, but four days later after we parted ways agreeing to be friends, they go official. Now she knows that in the time they started talking before they got together that him and I had a couple of flings and she just seems to have ignored it. I just want to know how I can even make a start on getting him back? I miss him so much and its just getting worse. I feel fine in myself except this constant sadness without him. Please help me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 4, 2016 at 12:08 pm

Hi Lauren,

Have you done what should be done in the list above during no contact? And are you implementing the gameplan now?

Grace

January 27, 2016 at 3:47 am

Hello,
I already bought the Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO but I’m still not sure how to go about with my situation.

I have two of the holy trinities of the situations.

We were in a long distance relationship for 9 years but we always make it a point to see each other in person for at least a month every two years. We got into a fight in November 2015 because of the models that he had to hire for their business. They were in an event that required them to rent a house for a week and he and some of his employees had to live under the same roof with said models. I always wake him up and we were talking on facetime when the models went inside his room and pulled out his blankets. Those women were already getting on my nerves because they don’t seem to respect professional boundaries with him and I already told him that and the thing they did was the last straw. I told him that he needs to draw the line with those women because even though they are friends he is still their employer. First, they should not be entering their boss’s room even if they are friends. Second, what if he wasn’t wearing anything under the blanket? He said it is okay because they are friends and he can’t see why I was upset with what happened. He told me to stop being irrational about it and I don’t know why he suddenly saw me as the bad guy.
When he got home after the event we had a serious talk and he told me that the love he had for me before is no longer there. I find it hard to believe and accept because just 3 months ago in July we went to a very romantic vacation in Hawaii for 2 weeks and he told me that I am the one he wants to spend his life with. We already had plans to see each other again in Japan this April and in a year or so I will be moving back home so we can finally be together for good.

The second problem I have right now is I feel that he is already dating one of the models. He told me they are not dating and that the woman already has a boyfriend but I’m really not buying it.
She posted a picture on instagram of his room with the captions “Our kind of night..” and the hashtags “saturdate” and “homebuddies”. He went with her and the other models to an event in a different city for her job. I saw a video by some of the other models where she touches his arm and his back the way I did whenever we were together. She also posted a picture of a cake from her boyfriend for their first month anniversary and she updated her profile description with “CF’s <3". CF is my boyfriend's initials. I asked him about it and he told me it means something else, he is not the boyfriend, and that she is just his best friend. I was furious, I was his best friend and it took us a long time to build that relationship. He only knew this girl for a month!

I am redoing the 30-day NC because I messed up and asked him when I saw those things on her profile. I had an outburst and I'm scared that I really pushed him away this time. I am on Day 2 of NC again. I want to trust what he's telling me but what I'm seeing and feeling tells me differently.

We have been through this same situation before and he always came back. Obviously something went wrong again otherwise we wouldn't be like this. I just want him back again and keep him for good this time. Please I need some advice on what I need to do because I have two out of three of the most difficult situations stacked up against me.

Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 27, 2016 at 3:05 pm

Hi Grace,

Actually I don’t think you have a problem with being in LDR. The problem is trust. What do you mean you’ve been in this situation before? He cheated before?

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