Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back While You Are Pregnant- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

397 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant”

NS

October 20, 2020 at 7:35 am

My boyfriend and i have been together for seven months. Last monday I found out that i was pregnant. I decided to wait until i see him face to face over the weekend, to tell him of this wonderful news.

Last friday however, he suddenly turned cold in his messages and when i called him he said we needed to talk. i texted telling him i love him and he didn’t reply. I panicked, I knew it meant he wants to break up. So i texted him looong messages begging him to not break up with me and telling him how much i love him. he ignored my messages, didn’t even read them.

Saturday afternoon, I met him, he told me he thinks it’s best we end the relationship. Again, I pleaded and begged for him to give me another chance, he refused to even consider it, completely. I didn’t know if I would ever see or hear from him again, so I decided to tell him I’m pregnant. He didn’t respond anything, he said we’ll talk about it later. We hanged out together with his friends for the rest of that day, he was drinking, he ignored me alot, turned his back towards me and only talked to his friends, but once he got really drunk, we were back to being lovers again. We spent the whole night together.

On sunday, I tried to talk to him about the pregnancy. He didn’t want to talk about it. He seemed angry and distant. He said I got pregnant on purpose. I didn’t. It just happened. We made love two times. I felt confused yet hopeful. I didn’t know whether that meant he’s not breaking up with me anymore or whether it meant nothing and he still didn’t want me. I also found out that he’s still seeing and sleeping with one of his ex. they have a child together. I think maybe he wants to end things with me so he can be with her.

Yesterday (monday) morning he texted me saying he didn’t sleep at night because of the issue of me being pregnant. He said he is not ready right now (he has three kids with other women already). He said it interferes with his work. He also told me he can’t marry me. That people from his work have to approve who he marries and because I was previously married I won’t qualify. I texted him telling him I have understood him, I have understood how I’m not right for him and that he should go ahead and marry the woman people from his work approve for him. This was my last text to him.

He texted me a cold “goodnight” last night, I didn’t respond. He texted me a cold “good morning” this morning, I didn’t respond. Everything just hurts so much. I thought we would last. We had so many plans for our future. He became a part of my everyday life. We talked everyday, saw each other everyday, and spent all weekends together, morning till night, always. And now suddenly I am alone. I want him back. I wish, hope and pray that he would miss me and want me. I’m glad I’m pregnant because maybe then he’ll always be a part of my life. But I don’t know if he will. I think he will stay away from us and I will have to raise this baby alone. I’m five weeks pregnant now. Should I do the NC? Should I keep ignoring his texts and stay away?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 28, 2020 at 1:59 am

Hi NS, so the most important thing is that you look out for you and baby, he clearly has a lot going on and the fact he was cheating on you and the mother of his other child shows what sort of person he is deep down. I wouldn’t try and use the baby to keep him in a relationship with you, you’ve seen this does not work! Keep with your No Contact and work on yourself and prepare for motherhood.

Reva

September 29, 2020 at 3:41 pm

Hello,

This article is extremely helpful! I. 8 months pregnant and he broke up with me 2 days ago. What I would like to ask is how do you even begin to initiate Limited No Contact if you LIVE together? I am at a disadvantage, having no where to go, living states away from family, no car, no finances. I depend on him for everything. Because of Covid-19, and having a high risk pregnancy, I haven’t been able to work in 6 months. We are living with his parents who interfere, money is tight, and arguing over these things is what ended it, not because we hate each other. Any advice in the world would help! And yes, I do take full responsibility for getting myself into such a mess.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 8, 2020 at 8:16 pm

Hi Reva, I think your situation is exactly as you said its all stress related. You need to allow your ex to calm his own emotions and your own. While explaining to him that his parents interfering so much is not helping the situation. You should ideally have moved out before getting pregnant, but things don’t always work out like that. The issue is that you are coming to the end of your pregnancy you are going to have a fair bit of contact with him unless you can move home to your own parents. When you have limited no contact and living together you are just going to have to avoid speaking about getting back together and how to fix your problems, instead you need to show him that you can be laid back and happy person.

Lu

September 26, 2020 at 10:25 am

My boyfriend left me and i’m three months pregnant, he told me he has moved on with his life, and i did not respond to his message. What should i do??

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 4, 2020 at 9:19 pm

Hi Lu, this is really upsetting thing to go through when you are pregnant. I would suggest that you first follow a 30 day No Contact and do not reach out or reply to him unless it is to do with the baby, and that is only when the baby is due or if there is an emergency

L

July 6, 2020 at 8:36 am

My ex moved out of our home 20 days before I was due you have our baby. I cut off all communication and didn’t talk to him until the day I had our child. He was really upset that I wasn’t talking to him and was very mean. I only talk to now if it’s about the baby. I don’t text or call he does all of the texting and calling. He has asked me if I hate him. Which I responsed with “what do you think”. He texted me the other day saying he miss our conversations and all I said was oh ok. I haven’t heard from him since. Do you think he was trying to see if he still has a chance? Should I have told him something i miss about him? I don’t want him to feel like he can run in and out of my life. Help!!! What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

July 6, 2020 at 6:23 pm

Hey L, so yes I think he was testing the waters to see if he still had a chance of getting back with you. While I agree that you need to show that he can not just walk out and back in again. If you want him back then you are going to have to work on your value chain where you are increasing the amount of time you are spending talking to him, and getting him investing that time into you again. And start dating – do not allow him to just move back in. Make him work for that family again

Joy

June 24, 2020 at 11:17 am

What to do if he Suddenly loose interest and start treating me bad while am pregnant for him, and he is also seeing another girl even in my present

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 26, 2020 at 10:55 pm

Hi Joy, I would suggest that you go into a limited no contact and end your relationship with him as you do not deserve to be cheated on! If he is going to treat you poorly it is best to be without him until he realises your worth

AJ

June 16, 2020 at 1:05 pm

Hi,

Im about 8 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend decided to lie about going out of town in order to secure an apartment with his first babymother and child. Apparently it was a stressful situation with his daughter living with her mom and her family. So he sets them up in an apartment, I found out about the lie. Confront him, tell him of my hurt and how he could’ve just told me the truth, since we’re together, we should handle situations together and not be left in the dark. Obviously the lie really hurts because trust is broken, his first bm is still in love with him, he swears to me he will always love her but he’s not in love with her. He tells me it’s not like that, I’m not sure what to believe. But I know he loves me and I love him and I’m pregnant and so after to go through it alone because I imagined us being a family. Now he has moved out, says he needs time to make things right between everyone. He swears he will be the best dad and I need to trust him to do that but we shouldn’t be together right now. I asked if he was going to be living with his ex, he says no, I asked if he was going to get back with his ex, he told me no. I asked if he still was in love with me, he said he’s not sure. But he loves me and wants me to have the baby. I didn’t sign up to have a baby alone, we had talks of being together during all of this and I feel so abandoned. Crying all the time, just don’t understand why he doesn’t want to be with me, in my most vulnerable time, all this stress is not good for me and the baby I know but I can’t help how I feel. Do you think he has a shot of coming back to me? I asked him if he sees a future with me and he says maybe and I feel like perhaps he just being kind to not hurt my feelings further. Please help.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 16, 2020 at 10:50 pm

Hi AJ, I think your guy has been playing games with the both of you. I would suggest that you go into a strict Limited no contact where you focus on you and your baby and keep him updated what he needs to know about baby. Nothing else for now. At the end of 45 days you then start the being there method if you want him back, but keep in mind he has treated you both as pawns by the sounds of things.

Nadia Serrano

June 3, 2020 at 1:08 am

Me and my boyfriend dated for about a year and last year in August 2019 we moved in along with my 3 other children. We had a great relationship but 2 weeks ago everything changed. I found out he was cheating on me and I am 5 months pregnant. I confronted him and he got upset and played the victim role on me. He text me asking about the baby but Its really hard for me to answer because i go off on him. I sometimes like today get ideas of going to look for him and telling him that i still love him and for us to work things out since i did leave the house where we were leaving. What do i do. How do i deal with all of this. I hope you can help me out.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 14, 2020 at 8:53 pm

Hi Nadia, I am sorry you are going through this while pregnant! You need to follow a limited no contact where you inform him regarding pregnancy related issues. But otherwise you follow the No Contact period. You need to stop going off at him as you do not want to have a constant stress and pressure while pregnant. You need to take care of you and baby first

Kyle

April 19, 2020 at 5:36 am

Ok I’m the boyfriend in this situation, but my girlfriend was extremely toxic, immature, unstable and emotionally and mentally abusive. I knew she was pregnant. I made it clear to her that I would remain in contact and take care of things on my end. I ended our relationship and she has not responded to me in a week. I’m giving it time as well and employing the NC rule. But I have tried everything I could to do my part and she won’t have it (because she’s toxic). I’m being a man, and she’s being immature and self destructive, and potentially causing the baby harm. Should I continue to wait for her to reach out to me to update me throughout the pregnancy?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 25, 2020 at 9:19 am

Hi Kyle, I would say it would be best if you ask about the pregnancy / baby directly – even if its just for your peace of mind. I would look for a way that you can co parent with your ex in a civil way so that the toxic traits you are talking about do not affect baby when he/she arrives

Chandler

April 15, 2020 at 6:02 pm

This article helped me. I’m actually on the opposite side of this.

My girlfriend and I mutually broke up on Friday. She texted me on Monday to call her. I did and she told me she was pregnant. As you can imagine a combination of the break up and the pregnancy was tough to swallow. We agreed to part ways because at that time because we felt we wouldn’t be happy being married. Now I’m stunned trying to be supportive but gather facts. Some of which don’t seem to add up.

Why would you agree to leave me if you knew you were two weeks late?

When you went on vacation two of the last 6 weeks did you see anyone else?

We’ve had sex only twice in the last 6 weeks and I’m scepticle whether it’s mine but I know it only takes once accident for this to happen.

Why is she so content on having this baby out of wed lock after informing me 12 hours ago? How long has she known this?

I know I may be over thinking this but I’m trying to remain calm.

We are going to see her OBGYN next Wednesday so hopefully that will help put me at ease.

How should I communicate with my girlfriend to get the facts and help support her?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 23, 2020 at 4:15 pm

Hi Chandler, so I am looking at your post and understand that you are questioning things if she is content with the situation. I obviously can not answer some of those questions, but usually to make a woman do a test she would have had a feeling/thought she was pregnant for a few days. If you choose to be apart and not get back in a relationship then I suggest the most important thing you do is learn how you are going to co-parent with your ex for the sake of the baby. When you get an idea on dates I hope that makes you feel better about the baby being yours and not someone else.

Mickey

March 18, 2020 at 1:51 pm

Hi, I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and we are expecting our first child together. Almost a week ago he moved out because I told him I needed space away from him because he was stressing me out. He begged me to let him stay but I felt that if he was still at home with me my stress level would still be out of whack. So i told him that he have to leave for a few days and then when i am back to myself he can come back home. Now I’m not gonna lie….i did tell him that if he decides not to come back it wont bother me because i was planning on relocating to the states, but I only said that to make him realize how he been treating me and to straighten up. But he took it as I’m taking his child away from him so he packed his things and left. I never meant for things to turn out the way it did. I’m still in love with him and I want him back but I’m scared that he wont come back. What can I do to make this right?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 23, 2020 at 11:48 pm

I suggest that you have a calm conversation with your ex / boyfriend about how you are struggling to deal with your emotions, also mention this to your midwife. And explain that you want the relationship to work and seek out a couples therapist. As you are pregnant and the timing is delicate with the events of the world right now make sure that you are putting yours and your babys health first at all times right now

shine

March 12, 2020 at 11:14 pm

Hi my name is shine I dated my ex for about 2yeas and half and he suddenly wanted space from the relationship which ended into a breakup I cried and pleaded bcos I didn’t know what exactly my fault was he also kept on tellING me I did nothing wrong to but he wanted a break up to work on him self so I did everything I could to get him back but it didn’t just work two months after we broke up I found out I was two month pregnant I informed him about it and he insisted that I get an abortion I tried getting the abortion because considerin our age and arriving a child will be too much stress on him he is 21 and I am 19, I went to the hospital for the scan before the abortion will take place and I was told I have a serious ovarian cyst so we got scared and decided to keep the baby but the neXT day he told me he can’t take it anymore so the decision was too hard for him to take so he wanted an abortion I told him I was afraid of that and he insisted I have the abortion or else his going to abondan I and the child I attempted to have a abortion and my mothere saw the drugs and toke them away from me I called him and told him what happened and he got very angry , he blocked me on whatsApp and unblocked me the next day my baby was also developing and he become the hot and cold type he tells me doesn’t love me anymore and now as m carrying his child he can’t think straight anymore, he had been the one sending me money for my up keeps since I got pregnant now am 15 weeks pregnant and he always tells me he doesn’t want me anymore he can’t love me like he used to he tells me to give birth and he will take the baby and I continue my life i sometimes leave him for some days when he put me in much pain but he reaches out to check on me and my tommy too, am afraid of losing him I love him soo much now that am carrying his baby what should I do.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 20, 2020 at 9:59 pm

Hi Shine so considering you are pregnant at this difficult time I Would suggest that you follow the limited no contact rule. Where you do not reach out to him but if he asks how baby is you answer him. Otherwise you need to solely focus on yourself. Focus on having a pregnancy that you are going to enjoy – not feel that you worried, were upset and stressed through. Because believe me it doesnt feel like it at the time but this is going to go by so fast! And you will miss this feeling! If you want him back then you need to follow the process, but there is also the chance that he is scared if this is his first child he is just freaking about the responsibility that is on its way

Sisi

February 20, 2020 at 6:47 am

Me and my ex were together about 7 months, when a week ago he broke up with me due to the fact I had been in a very terrible depression since I lost my job and my grandmother had passed at the same time a week prior. He told me he needed to work on himself and he still loved me and this isn’t what he wanted but he needs it. So I let him go. In the middle of NC is when I found out he had a new girlfriend already, a girl that I had always been suspicious he had a crush on before we got together but he told me no. The same day I found out I was pregnant, when I reached out he told me to abort it and I said I wouldn’t do that. He said he will be involved and we’ve maintained a healthy communication. He told the girl and she’s supportive. Him and this girl got together only 3 days after our breakup, so I’m not sure if it’s a rebound but it seems to be. I want him to come back because I love him and would like us to be a family. I left him on read almost two days ago because i felt I needed to reinstate NC. He has blocked me on Instagram and Snapchat, after changing his Instagram name to match hers. Idk what to do but I love him very deeply and I feel this is such a big mistake on his part. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 22, 2020 at 10:32 pm

Hi Sisi so you still need to follow the no contact rule as you need to give your ex some time away from you. And give yourself this chance to work on your mental health to show you are working on becoming happier in yourself. Read about the being there method and try to work out if you feel that you are mentally able to follow this process.

Thalia

February 16, 2020 at 11:09 pm

Hi! I’m 18 and about to have my first baby. Yes I’m young and this wasn’t planned but it wasn’t unexpected either. My life would have probably ended up differently if my mother wasn’t such a bitch. And I’m serious when I say she’s a bitch. She’s the kind of mother who desires your death and curses the day you were born. But anywho, I’m having my first baby like I said, and I’m only a few weeks pregnant. I live with my ex boyfriend right now and I know he still loves me but I pushed him away so much that I don’t know if he’s really done trying. But the reason I pushed him away was because he can be so thoughtless. Makes me feel like he doesn’t care and like I’m talking to a wall most days. And I feel like some days he wants to be a good father and other days he’s on the “my life is over” mindset. Like he’s not ready to give up on his old lifestyle, though he used to talk about marriage etc. What do I do? I love him and I want to be with him and have my little family with him but I feel like we constantly fight and there’s no point to the fights because he doesn’t care. And it’s difficult not being in a relationship with him when I’m carrying his child and sharing the same bed. And soon our own apartment as well.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 17, 2020 at 10:27 am

Hey Thalia, if you want to get your ex back then you need to work on your emotional control and learn when you need to not react to what people say and do. Silence is a powerful tool believe me. If you keep pushing him away then maybe you need to seek out a therapist who will help you deal with your emotions regarding your childhood so that when you are in relationships you have the tools how to work through things healthily. I can understand how hard it is to live with your babys father and not be with them, it takes a lot of emotional, physical and mental control. So make sure you are focusing on becoming the best version of yourself ready for when the baby arrives.

Nell

February 13, 2020 at 1:45 am

Hi
My ex and I actually had a great relationship, we love spending time together and we both enjoy and value the same things. The only reason he left me a month ago was because of one thing that I should have changed early on. I usually wouldn’t tell people this but I feel like I should tell the whole story to get the best help. I am a sex worker, he knew this before we got together and he said he accepted it. I always planned to get out but it is a hard industry to leave sometimes and he was struggling financially and I wanted to help him so I stayed in it. Jump to a year and 4 months later, I am renting a house on my own but I have come to the decision I don’t want to do this job anymore, I can’t do it when I love him so much. I told him my decision and he was happy but also told me how he had been thinking or leaving me because he couldn’t handle it anymore. He said knowing what I do and all the things that come with it, all the emotional support he has given me over the course of the relationship has worn him down and he doesn’t love me anymore.
We tried to make it work, I told him I was leaving as soon as my rental lease was up and asked if he could stick it out till then, he said he would but only a few weeks later he broke it off.
We still spent time together, still slept together after this. He told me he loves spending time with me and really likes me and cares about me as a person. He then started to become more affectionate again, he said he was confused. He also said that things might be different now because we have communicated about everything and have been able to be completely open with each other. He started to go back and forwards saying he didn’t know what he wanted so I was about to cut him off until I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant.
I told him the news when he came over the next night, he took it really well. He was calm and supportive, we talked about it and all the different scenarios. It has only been a week since I found out but this last week we have spent a lot of time together. He became super affectionate, holding my hand in public, kissing me on the forehead, always wanting to cuddle me and hold me. He told me the feelings had come back a little and he thinks the relationship could be good now. He spent friday night and all day Saturday with me and we had a great time. Sunday morning I offered to pick him up and give him a lift somewhere and he accepted even thougv he had multiple people offering that would have been easier. He wanted me to spend Sunday with him watching movies but I declined as I was busy so instead he came out Sunday night. We were both a little tired Sunday so we weren’t as chatty and he left early Monday morning for work. He messaged me all day Monday, he was happy and flirting and making plans for the week but then he went to his mother’s for dinner and he changed. He asked when I was stopping work and I said as soon as I can find someone to take over the lease or find other work (I can’t just stop working and live on the streets and I have only some 2 shifts since I found out) he then called me that night and said he doesn’t want me or the baby. He became nasty and said that his mum thinks it is disgusting that I am working and that she won’t accept me or this baby and has no respect.. I don’t know what she thought I could do different. He said that he doesn’t love me and will never get back with me and that he was always leaning towards terminating the baby. I asked if that was the case then why give me false hope and act all happy and excited and he said because he wasn’t sure yet. He has since apologied for some of the horrible things he said and told me he wants to be there for me and the baby if I decide to keep it but he thinks that it is the most logical thing to terminate. I want to keep it, I haven’t told him yet. Once we sorted things out after the heated argument I stopped talking to him. We have an appointment on Tuesday and he wants to come to that. What do you think of all of this? I am going to try the NC and see how it goes.
I just need to say through out the relationship I did ask how he was coping and he always told me he was dealing with it. We did agree that he could have communicated and that was part of the problem but now it’s too late, what’s done is done.
Do you think it is possible to win him back?
I am stopping my job now, I am about to start counselling, I am making plans to build a house before baby arrives and I have just started studying. I really do want him back.

PS: I haven’t contacted him this morning but he just called me and asked if I wanted to go to the movies.. I’m so confused

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 22, 2020 at 11:17 pm

Hi Nell so your situation has a few things you need to think about

If you want the baby, then you have to be willing to do it alone as he has told you not to have the child. If you really want to be parent then you must tell him you are 100% keeping the baby and then explain to him that he is either in or out there is no 50/50 when baby arrives.

Sometimes people freak out when they hear that their ex is pregnant and auto suggest a termination because you are not together anymore.

You need to follow a limited no contact where you make him aware of any pregnancy or baby issues but the rest of the time you do not speak with him. As for him calling you up and asking if you want to go to the movies. You are doing great things with your life, such as building a house, going to counselling. Is there a reason you are leaving your job with such a big project on the go?

I would decline the movies invitation at the moment and allow him to come to appointments with you and see what he says in the mean time. Do not become his friend while you still want to get him back as a boyfriend.

Emily

February 5, 2020 at 11:22 pm

I’m 29 and 21wks pregnant my ex left me at 17wks and has since then pretty much ignored me. We had been together since March of 2019, lived together, and talked about the future and planned this baby. Well things began to escalate after I found out I was pregnant we were fighting almost everyday about something, mainly financial stuff. He was working two jobs but I still felt I was support him myself and my son when that wasn’t the agreement. With each fight he would always end up leaving and staying away for the night, and of course I’d reach out to him and he’d come back. The last fight we had, we both acknowledged we had our own issues and needed to work on it we were willing to do whatever to make it happen because we owed it to this baby. But the next day I was asking for reassurance and he couldn’t give it to me.. so we started talking about breaking up, said he needed time.. that he feels empty and doesn’t recognize himself.. long story short he ended things with me and cut off all contact .. I went into a very low state and wanted to end my life and get rid of the baby like he had gotten rid of us.. I reached out for help because I was afraid of myself. Every promise he ever made was broken. We had commitments together financially and emotionally. After a few days I reach out to him again.. he says that he’s seriously done and doesn’t want to be with me anymore. So I decide I want him out of my house because having his things there only depresses me .. so I gave him a date he moved out and took some things he had bought me for the baby and somethings he had gotten for my son. I called him outraged and he made excuses. Said he didn’t love me anymore that I pushed him that far with all the fighting and making him feel like he wasn’t good enough.. he contacts me a week later not asking about me or the baby just about his fire pit that he forget that I had thrown out bc anything he left I thru away. I ignored him after that and we didn’t speak.. I got off his phone plan changed my number because to me it was clear we were done and I didn’t want him to hold the phone over my head. I sent him one last text pouring my heart out then blocked his number for a few days.. unblocked him without telling him. Had my appt yesterday to find out the sex of my baby and he decides to contact me about the gender and pictures and if the baby was healthy.. I told him baby was fine he insist on wanting to know the sex and see pictures I lied at first saying I didn’t find out.. he asked why .. I said bc I didn’t want too, originally I didn’t want too.. he replies with … I did. I sent him a long heart felt message about how he left and had shown no concern and then admitted I found out the sex and how beautiful the baby was .. he went on about how it was my fault he had two choices to leave or kill himself.. that nothing he did was ever good enough.. and that it killed him to leave but he had no other choice. Mind you he has shown no interest in the baby or cared to ask about when I was in the hospital when he first left me and I had my breakdown.. he’s 23 and personally acting selfish.. I’ve turned my life around and come to acceptance of everything.. been focusing on me my son and this baby. It’s not about him or me anymore and he’s just stuck putting all the blame on for me the relationship and I don’t understand because he wasn’t mister perfect. I didn’t think our relationship was so bad. My question is what do I do? Should I tell him the gender? Is there a chance he’ll come out of this and man up? I never saw him to be this person.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 8, 2020 at 5:21 pm

Hey there, yes you should tell him the gender of your baby as it is just as much is as it is yours. The situation you described, sounds like it was the relationship had become toxic and wasnt good for either of you. I would suggest that you look for a way to co parent positively before the baby arrives and then follow this program if you want to get him back. As for “manning up” That may come with time when baby is here.

Yelle

January 29, 2020 at 9:28 am

Hi!!

I need your advise on this. My ex recently broke up with me because he felt that I didn’t deserve him and that he became attracted to other woman (attracted only, no physical contact). Just two days ago, I found out that I’m pregnant and I told him about that he said he’s still willing to be the father of our child support him or her etc but has no intentions of getting us back together because he said he doesn’t love me anymore. I tried NC for a day but he keeps on texting/chatting or calling me, asking me how was I and the baby, and if ever I want to have check ups etc with him. And also, he drops foods at my office (he drops it at the guards station and the guards calls me to get it) when I asked him his plan and why is he doing this, he just said that he just wants to be involved with the baby and he really made clear that he has no plans on getting us back together. So my question would be, do I have a chance to be with him? Or he’s just really trying to be decent for our child? Please help. I really love him. Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 5, 2020 at 9:08 pm

Hey Yelle, so as you are pregnant with his child you need to do a limited No Contact, so you dont spek to him unless he reaches out to you about the baby. So when he asks how you are just ignore the message. He needs to have time to miss you! And he is not going to do that unless you complete a NC. I would say next time he mentions baby, tell him youll let him know any appointments and changes that come around. And leave it at that.

Jess

January 1, 2020 at 7:07 pm

My ex bf of 9 months (we were friends for about a year before) got me pregnant. This wasn’t something I wanted and really not something he wanted. But for the first two months he told me he was excited and he will be there for us no matter what. Then when he told his mom and she also had a meltdown he changed his tune. Demanding me to get an abortion. I told him I can’t do it because at this point I was already close to the second trimester and the baby was developed enough that I couldn’t live with myself. He broke up with me and two days later we got back together. He was so happy telling me how much he missed me, then out of no where he was back to the get an abortion or I’m leaving. He ignored me for two days so I suggested we meet up so we could just end things cause I was tired of being left hanging. He once again suggested the abortion, saying he doesn’t love me anymore. I refused and he left and I think it’s for good. He’s deleted me off of all social media and I haven’t heard from him since. It’s been about a week which is the longest we’ve gone without talking. What should I do? The logical side of me thinks I should move on but the pregnant and hormonal side of me wants the father in our lives. What should I do? As far as I know he hasn’t started dating anyone else and spends all his free time playing Xbox

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 3, 2020 at 4:41 am

Hi Jess, so the fact he was happy at first, and then his mother has voiced her views it shows that he is being influenced. You have not mentioned how old you both are, but it sounds like the mother is in control of this situation not you guys. You decided you are keeping the baby, that is your choice, it is his choice if he wants to be involved when baby arrives I guess. For now I would No Contact him and make sure you are preparing yourself for the baby to arrive as it is going to be quite an adjustment if this is your first child. When baby is here, you may find the mother changes her mind. It is a scary moment finding out you are going to be a parent, I am assuming this is the first time for you both

Nicole

December 7, 2019 at 4:09 pm

Hello Chris and Team!
I need your help again, I recently tried the ex boyfriend recovery about a year or two ago my now ex boyfriend again.
We have been together on and off for 9 years.
I broke up with him in March 2019 due to feeling like the relationship was pointless and we weren’t on the same page. I felt like I was wasting more time and it was best to go out separate ways. It was amicable. It didn’t end ugly, I wasn’t an emotional wreck either, I felt like I came to terms with it. Although we broke up I was still living with him, due to the circumstances he let me stay with him for a few months until I could figure out my living situation. We were not intimate at all, we were like good friends/roommates. Then one night we were just at home watching movies and having a few drinks, well we ended up getting drunk and we slept together June 1st to be exact. (I wasn’t on birth control since Feb).
I moved out of his place June 20th. We had no contact when I left, It felt completely over and done. I was still fine with it, not emotional about it.
July 3rd, I find out I am pregnant. Calculating I w)as 6 weeks at the time.
I contacted him on July 5th and asked if I can come by I had some stuff I had left at his place, (I really did). I wanted to tell him the news in person. He said okay, that Saturday 6th was fine. He seemed happy to hear from me. I go by that Saturday and instead of going into his place, he comes out all dressed up nicely and happy, asked me if I wanted to go eat. I was caught off guard by that and said okay that’s fine, break the ice afterwards and tell him the news. We had a great time, laughing etc. Felt like we never broke up, very natural.
I saw in his phone that changed my contact name from Nicole to ” The One I Love”
I was shocked to see that.
So after eating we went to his place, I got my stuff and told him I needed to tell him something. I told him I was pregnant, showed in the 4 tests I took, all confirming it.
He was shocked. He wasn’t mad.
He said he will support me in whatever decision I make, its my choice.
He had tears in his eyes.
I told him I don’t expect us to get back together due the fact that I’m pregnant.
I don’t expect him to marry me either. I just want him to know.
I said if we aren’t together I am fine with it, I just want us to be civil with each other and not let it get ugly. He agreed! There is not reason for us not get along. It’s not about us.
He hugged me. (First kid for the both of us)
He then gave me money to go see the doctor to find out how far along I was exactly and decide what I wanted to do. He never pressured me.
I had finally decide August 17, that I was going to have the baby, I told him my decision and he said okay. He then told him family the news. He seemed happy about it.
He said he is shocked about this but happy. He couldn’t imagine having a baby with anyone else, he loved me.
We then start seeing each other, making it work. BF/GF again.
It felt different this time, we go along better than ever. We didn’t argue.
He came to my appts, bought me whatever I needed, maternity cloths, food etc…
Things were great for 4-5 months. He was even talking about marriage…
A few days ago, I told him my family wants to meet his before I have the baby shower in January. (Due date February 2020) I am currently 7 months pregnant.
He said okay, set something up.
I then told him I would like for him to start making an effort around my family, come around more since we are going to be having a baby. I told him this before and he said okay. I mentioned it again due to my family asking me and it being the holidays.
Later that night, he called, I missed it. (We are not living together)
He send me this LONG text, bring up our past issues of 9 years. Saying he’s does not exist to please me, my family or his. He’s tired of being unhappy. He’s DUN.
My response, Then go be happy. Go find someone who can make you happy since I don’t. He said, Okay.
Then he says, I don’t have to answer to you, I can do what I want.
This isn’t about Us its about him (We are having a boy).
I would starve to make sure you and him are taken care of and you both have what you need.
I said, I never said you wouldn’t provide or be there or him.
I just want you to be part of his life and not just financially.
My pregnancy hormones kicked in after that, I felt betrayed and more time wasted.
Deep down I always had it back in my mind that I would leave me again.
We have always been on and off for 9 years. One minute he wants me and loves me and the next he no longer is happy and wanted to break up for months. Hot and Cold.
I told him that I felt like he just wasted months of my time. If this how he felt of being unhappy with me, why did he get back with me. I never expected to get back together. I made it very clear. I told him he didn’t know what the hell he wants.
I told him he didn’t love me the way he claimed. I requested something from him so simple and he refused to do it. 9 years of this on and off I have went over and beyond for him because I love him and he couldn’t do the same for me.
I did text a few of my thoughts for two days after that. I told him I can’t keep doing this on and off bullshit, back and forth. I was done and we were never going to get back together. He never answered my texts. I haven’t texted or called him since. It’s been 3 days since.
I am not sure if I want him back.
I do feel hurt and alone.
This was totally out of nowhere. I thought everything was fine between us. Never expected this. I was wrong.
I need words of wisdom…

Thanks!!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 9, 2019 at 4:55 pm

Hi Nicole, so you have to do a limited no contact and focus on yourself and preparing for the babies birth. To me it sounds like he has finally been hit with the reality of what is going to happen and the changes that need to be made next which is the baby and the responsibility that comes with it. So if you’re not sure you want him back then I suggest you do limtied no contact until you are less hurt and know if you want to be with him or not. If you do want him back then you need to implement this program, and if you dont then you need to work to be able to co parent positively with him

Emily

December 5, 2019 at 2:46 pm

My boyfriend of 3 years recently dumped me and made me move out of our house. I am 25 weeks pregnant and cat eat or sleep or do anything. He said it was due to us arguing all the time and he doesn’t want to raise our daughter around that but 90% of our fights were because i had a gut feeling he wasn’t being faithful. Hes been stressed over money but never asked me for help but now everything is my fault. I found out he was at some girls house for a couple nights (which he denies but I have proof) and now he’s seeing ANOTHER girl. Says it just happened and it’s going really good. He says he wants to be in his daughters life but hasn’t came to an appt since we broke up. I’m trying to be civil with him but it’s really hard. He’s moving out of our house too I guess and back with his parents. He’s been with this new girl every night and even at the bar. I had a good relationship with his parents and now I feel like they’re supporting his decisions. I don’t understand how he can move on so quickly after being with me for 3 years, having a house, and about to have a baby. Plus he bought me an engagement ring and was planning on asking me to marry him. I am just so hurt I can’t get over it. I feel replaced and worthless that he can put in so much effort to another girl that he didn’t to me.
Angela

December 1, 2019 at 5:49 pm

Hello,
I am currently 15 weeks pregnant with my ex’s baby. We broke up about 2 months ago before I knew I was pregnant and the worst part is, I broke up with him all because of a huge fight, which I immediately regretted. About 2 weeks after the brake up was when I found out I was pregnant and told him. He was scared and still mad about the brake up and told me he wanted me to get an abortion. I gave him about 2 weeks then we went to dinner to talk. I told him I wasn’t getting an abortion and he told me he wanted nothing to do with the baby so of course I was heartbroken especially since he has a daughter that he is very involved with. I took the advice of doing no contact and did that for a little over 3 weeks then texted him. We had a good conversation and talked for a couple days which gave me hope he wasn’t over me. Ever since we have seen each other twice and he continues to Snapchat me frequently but I made the mistake of sleeping with him the 2 times we saw each other but we also talked and he told me about his new job and what he has going on but he hasn’t brought up the baby at all and I’m scared to because I don’t want him to run away again. He still talks to be but it seems like he is getting more distant and I have a feeling it’s because he is scared to get close to me again. I pretty much acted like I didn’t care about braking up and moved out of our house, got a new apartment and have been doing pretty good but I want to tell him how I feel. I’m so scared of rejection and that I will push him away ever further but I know I can’t get him back if he doesn’t know how I feel. I just don’t even know how to approach it. He is extremely stubborn but the fact that he is still talking to me makes me think he’s not ready to be done and move on. On top of that, most of his family doesn’t know I’m pregnant and I don’t want to tell them because they will most definitely not be happy with him for saying he doesn’t want to be involved. I don’t know what to do. But I’m terrified I will have to relive this break up all over again and I don’t know if I can handle that. My heart wants to believe he was just mad because I broke up with him in the beginning and that’s why he said what he said and had so much resentment toward me. I think no contact helped but I don’t know what to do from here. Can you give me some advice?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 6, 2019 at 8:15 pm

Hi Angela, so what you are doing is getting him to invest time in you, but you need to stop sleeping with him unless you are back together, so if you can get some meet ups sorted, plus by now you’re going to start showing you are pregnant I am sure. So that is going to be there, dont hide your pregnancy or avoid it as thats unfair to you and your baby. He has to accept that if he chooses to be in the babys life or not there is a baby coming. He needs to make that decision before the birth. I would talk to him about topics you know he would be interested in talking to you about and then from there get some more meet ups sorted, but do not have sex with him!

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