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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
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Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Post categories
Lost for words
November 28, 2019 at 6:00 am
Hello I’m 23 weeks pregnant. My ex wanted a baby so we did the deed I became pregnant. Long story short everything was great until I became pregnant. We been together for 1 year & a couple of months. When I was 10 weeks pregnant he told me that he wanted a career change that would allow him to be away from home on weekends or sometimes every weekend. So I felt like basically he gave me an ultimatum of accepting his new adventures or be single, so I chose to be single because that was just a slap in the face to even consider a career change/ new adventures when he planned a baby. So I haven’t been letting him come around. Now I’m hearing he has been sleeping with another chick, when I ask him his reply is “Did she tell you we sleeping together”,….He won’t give me a straight forward answer & plus it’s just making me feel stressed. I started hanging around my family more & he reached out & told me that “A pregnant woman that hangs out is disgusting”,….It’s like he never have anything positive to say! What to do?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 1, 2019 at 5:18 pm
Hey there, can you define what you mean by hanging out with your family? Unless you are drinking, smoking, taking drugs, or doing something that will harm your baby then there is nothing wrong with you spending time with your family. By the sounds of it he expects you to spend your pregnancy alone? This other woman you need proof that there is something going on do not assume or go of hear say.
Go into limited no contact with him for at least 30 days where you only speak to him about the baby if you need to or something important happens. It is a shame that you are not able to work through things with him having a career change that means he would be away sometimes, even though thats hard it is better than him not working. So consider if you could make it work of you were to get back with him
Carissa
November 24, 2019 at 10:30 pm
Hi
I am currently 8 weeks pregnant. I told my boyfriend when I was 3 and half weeks. We had the best relationship I truly did everything for him. He has always lived a distance but lately has moved a bit further but obviously we spoke about this al prior to my pregnant for 4 weeks he kept saying he needed time but defiantly wanted to be with me and loves me for the last week he’s said he no longer wants me he said the responsibility of being a dad is too much and he doesn’t want to be a family he’s promised for 5 weeks that he’d see me and has let me down it’s been constant lies and broken promises I ask what I did and he says I’m perfect he just doesn’t want this anymore and today I had my first scan and he blocked me the day before and never even said good luck a friend of mine asked why he hasn’t spoke and he said that he’s too busy. I’m heartbroken I don’t know who he is anymore and he keeps making out the distance is why he can’t be with me. I’ve done everything for this man and we was planning this baby none of it makes sense I need to try not talk to him but I honestly don’t think it will make a difference in this case seems like that’s exsactly what he wants and all I want is a cuddle i miss him so much I’ve even ended up in hospital due to being so suicidal from this break up I don’t know how it can go so down hill over something so special
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
November 25, 2019 at 5:13 pm
Hi Carissa, I am so sorry he has ended things with you and the most important thing now is you and the baby. Following the rules of No Contact with him and leave him behind you for the time being as you need to get stronger and happier over the next few weeks ready for your baby to arrive. When the baby does arrive, you will see what love you have for him/her takes over all the bad going on right now. If your ex decides he wants to be involved come the time then you can decide if its best for you to see him again due to yourself and how emotionally ready you are. If not you could come up with a plan with a trusted family member to sort contact for your ex and baby
Jess
November 22, 2019 at 5:21 pm
Hi,
Im currently 35 weeks pregnant and my ex of almost 4 years broke up with me when I was 7 months. Out of the blue he tells me that he doesn’t feel anything for me and that the relationship feels forced, but a couple days before the break up , he was talking about the future and that he already knows what kind of gift he was going to get me for my birthday. We broke up before and he came back so i gave him another chance. And this is what he does. I feel stupid for believing him that he really missed me and wanted things to work. A week after he broke up with me, he started talking to another girl (Who’s name i heard twice during our relationship without knowing). I feel like he wanted to cheat but didn’t want the guilt on him, so he broke up with me. He grabbed all his stuff and left. He did not even once asked me how the baby is doing. It was heart breaking and confusing when he left but i was trying to keep my head up and stay strong for the baby. I didn’t want the baby to feel my negative emotions.
He wants to be involved in the baby’s life but not in mine. So I let him come to the doctors appointment and stuff. But he sees that I don’t pay him no freaking mind and what does he do? He tries to hurt me on purpose. He came like 4 weeks after the breakup to my house at 1:30 am to tell me that he is talking to someone for 3 weeks and that he is really interested in her and that she might become the stepmother of my baby.
I really missed him when he broke up with me, but after he pulled this one on me. I hated him ever since. I have never felt this anger for someone. But i still try to keep my emotions under control. I told him that it was a bitch move to try to hurt me on purpose, because i did not need to know that and that i was happy for him. All i wanted to do was punch him in his face.
So now that im 35 weeks pregnant, i’ve been having lots of cramps and this guy wants to ask me if i can move my next appointment !!! Is he stupid?
And the thing is, is that he now posted his new girl on his social media, but never even posted me or the gender reveal. And all his friends and family are happy that he got a pretty girl.
And although i dont wanna feel this way. I feel betrayed and allot of hate for these people as well.
But he didn’t tell them that he broke up with me because of how he feels and wanted to do.
He told them that we had allot of issues and that i would argue allot with him, so we BOTH decided that we should break up.
I feel sick to my stomach that a man can leave and lie on a pregnant woman like a bitch. I don’t rven want to defend myself to them because they are all not worth my energy. I know karma will come back one way or another.
The only thing that i want right now is for my anger to leave my body. Sometimes i just can’t control it anymore and it’s really dangerous. I just want to focus on my little baby who will be here in 4 weeks.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
November 24, 2019 at 12:00 am
Hey Jess, so that is really hard because of the way he has handled the break up and lied about it too. He does not want to look like the bad guy, that is why the truth is altered to his friends and family. As for how to get rid of your anger remind yourself this is not your doing this is his. And also the fact he is already in a new relationship while you are pregnant with his child is going to make it very hard for them to work. At this point I would consider her to be a rebound and that he doesnt actually have real feelings for her as of yet, that takes much more time. You need to follow a limted no contact where you only speak to him about the baby if its something he does need to know and then when the baby arrives hopefully youll be able to rebuild your connection starting friendly and doing the being there method because of the other woman. Read as much of the materials as you can here to help you have your best chance of being happy again. The best is yet to come because that little baby will make you the happiest person on the planet I promise you that much
CRYSTAL
November 19, 2019 at 9:06 am
my situation is quite different..PLEASE HELP..me(27) and my ex(29)we lived together and our relationship lasted almost 5 years..he broke up with me bc apparently he doesnt love me anymore..i still love him…thing is we continued to have sex regardless of the fact that the love isnt reciprocated…so 2 months later i end up pregnant but i didnt find out untill i missed my period a month after conception..i told him soon as i found out and of course we both felt it sucks, its not ideal but we made the choice to move back in together for the baby! Although we havent moved back in yet we are supposed to in a week..he is just now telling me that he met someone else around the time i found out about the pregnancy and he likes her they dated a bit but its nothing serious yet. he still wants us to move in together but sleep seperately and he wants to persue this new relationship while living with me IF the other woman is okay with the whole situation. He didnt tell me right away obviously when i told him im pregnant because he tried to end it with her and cut communication but she continues to persue him ..tommorow he is going to come clean to her about the whooolee situatioin and im afraid that she wont back off and i will be forced to not move in because i dont want to be in that messy situation..but at the same time we had already agreed the best thing for the baby is to raise him under the same roof…basically i do love him and want him back BUT my main worry is the baby and how involved the father is going to really be esoecially if hes going to start a new relationship eventually shes going to make him choose between herself and our baby …DO YOU THINK I CAN WIN HIM BACK WHILST LIVING WITH HIM ?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
November 19, 2019 at 10:45 pm
Hi Crystal if this new woman is going to make him choose between her and the baby, and he is willing to live with you just to be around the baby full time she is going to lose that ultimatum. HOWEVER getting him back during your pregnancy and living together is actually going to be difficult. You need to do something called limited no contact, and you need to show him how you are the better person out of yourself and the other woman. Doing so is going to take a lot of self control emotionally and physically. Do not sleep with him if you are not back into a committed relationship. If the other woman does not leave once he has told her about you and the baby, and continues to contact him. You need to act unphased by her
Seasonal moment
October 24, 2019 at 8:09 am
6 weeks pregnant broke up in August 14 2019 , got pregnant within the break up in September he was constantly back and forth giving mix signals , and now he says we won’t work out but will support the baby but doesn’t want to be there for me .
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 24, 2019 at 8:44 pm
Hi SM, so you need to limit your No Contact where you only tell him things he needs to know about the baby and at this early stage there is not much to tell him. You need to make sure you work on yourself and let him feel like hes lost you and not give him sex or any intimacy at all while you are not together officially. You need to appear that you are focusing on yourself (and baby) and you dont need him for anything. Look up the Ungettable Girl articles and apply this to your life as best you can
Tiffany Soles
October 18, 2019 at 4:23 am
I have been with my ex for 7 years. We broke up back in February of this year and since the breakup we have kept in touch here and there. We limited contact but I just couldn’t stay away and now im 16 weeks pregnant with his child. He says we were never really apart and that he cant jump into a relationship with me solely because I am pregnant. I still love him but I want my complete family. He says that I am pushing it too much and that this relationship just cannot work. Should I try the no contact rule?
I still love him very much and I feel so vulnerable and alone and I’ve tried talking to him and telling him how I feel but nothing works.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 20, 2019 at 9:12 pm
Hi Tiffany, congratulations on your pregnancy and yes you two need some time apart for him to realise he wants to be with you so complete a limited nc where you only reach out if its about the baby and its well being. FOR NOW then after 30 days you can start talking again and see where you are both at by then
Betty Walker
August 27, 2019 at 11:07 am
I want to offer a bit of advice to everyone searching for marriage/relationship help. Me and my husband had a rough time for a decade; all our family & friends constantly advising us to get a divorce but we knew it would break our children’s heart. We tried so many different things to save our marriage and from trial & error we came across a very helpful Love solution spell temple on facebook page reviews that love spell from this temple works, I contacted the spell priestess and purchased a spell to bring love and happiness in my marital home and now we are happily together like we just got married. Love solution spell temple powers are strong. My Husband became so passionate about our love and more into me… lol Just like being in my teen.
K
July 28, 2019 at 11:03 pm
Currently 26 weeks. I started a new relationship with someone I completely fell for. He has a daughter and I have a son and daughter and I could really see a future with him. Things went very wrong after finding out I was pregnant and I broke it off. He didn’t want it and I was unsure so I booked the abortion. I couldn’t go through with it so he told me he wanted no involvement and didn’t want a child with me (even though he said he did previously, this wasn’t a planned pregnancy).
It had no contact with him but I kept him updated usually with no reply and he never attended anything. At 20weeks he finally messaged and said he didn’t want to go to the scan but wanted to know the gender. He was happy it was a boy and wanted to be involved. He gave sob stories, kept apologising ect. He picked up a cot but wouldn’t come over to build it, he started ghosting my messages again. He did grudgingly take me to hospital when I thought my waters were leaking and let me know how much of an inconvenience it was to him. Constantly on his phone through the whole hospital visit. After I got the all clear, when mentioned I had a random appointment a few days previous with my midwife (he lives opposite my GP) I was going to invite him in as his car was parked outside his house on a work day, turns out he’s started dating someone and said he wouldn’t have come because he was with her. This broke my heart massively. I feel so betrayed all over again. I do still have strong feelings for him. I gave him space, I kept him in the know regardless that he said he wanted no involvement and he never asks for info/updates. I really don’t know how to move on from it all. To top it all off this woman is still married. He has prioritied a married woman over his child and yet I still have strong feeling for him. I never wanted us to end but the way he acted and continues to act is just breaking my heart. I’ve now blocked and deleted his number. It’s been almost 2 weeks until that day and I told him last week I didn’t want him involved, he hasn’t even said anything back so I don’t think he cares.
Jasmine
July 27, 2019 at 9:06 pm
Hello, I have been with my boyfriend touching 2 years and I am 3 months pregnant. (Lived together) initially he was calm and said we will have an abortion but as it lead to that it was something I realised I didn’t want to go so I decided to keep it. [we was going backwards and forward for 2 months trying to make a decision. Long story short we have moved back to our parents home and he hates me because I decided to keep the baby. And doesn’t want to be involved. It breaks my heart because I really love him and he said he loves and misses me but can’t be together. Is there any hope for he NC to work?
Megan
July 12, 2019 at 2:04 pm
Hi, I’m 33 weeks pregnant & my boyfriend broke up with me last Tuesday. I have been heartbroken and truly shocked. He did not act like he has no connection before with his behavior, but says we should think about co-parenting. There’s ultrasound this Tuesday & he even mentioned some people lash out & get mad when they are hurt so he didn’t know if I wanted him in the delivery room anymore etc… he’s never been married, never had kids, he’s 40, a new chiropractor very charismatic, selfish, and I literally got pregnant on our 2nd date. I fell for him & his family is super excited about the baby. He has no idea what he is in for, his dad passed away with cancer, said he does not get emotionally attached to people hates this character flaw he has. His Perspective on some things I’ve noticed is very cold. I’m extremely sad he dumped me. I’m due in only a few weeks & don’t know how I’m going to do this exactly. He’s talking about taking & helping with the baby later after I’m done nursing, which makes me totally sad. My mom is going to have a talk with him about not backing out of his responsibility, I think his mind is made up. It will crush me even more to see him with someone else. I don’t think there’s anything I can do so I’m a single mom, again. Everything I didn’t want but I have no choice. At the first break up, I poured my heart out & told him things he didn’t hear before so now he knows how I feel & he’s gone. I think he has made his mind up, but when his son is born, hopefully his emotional coldness will change. I even named his son after his dad because that was important to him. I think he’s confused a little. I guess we all need time to grow up, just hurts really bad to be this far along pregnant & dumped so I found this page. It was a good read but I don’t know if there’s hope for me. I am torn between having hope and giving up. Totally Crushed, everything was as good as it gets for me but he felt no connection. That really sucks to hear and left me sick for days.
Josh
July 1, 2019 at 12:03 am
I broke up with my gf while she was pregnant. I had figured out she was cheating on me prior to the pregnancy and I realized I would never be able to trust her. Fast forward to now, we are still not together a year later as I saw the cheating as something I couldn’t see past but I see my child nearly every day. I believe this is a circumstance in which the man leaving is not totally in the wrong. The baby will be forever loved by both of us and our families but I believe it’s not right for a man to stay with a woman that was unfaithful just because she’s pregnant.
Chris Seiter
June 5, 2019 at 9:51 pm
Hi Siob’s….so I think No Contact is the right move, but your focus should be on your ongoing emotional/physical health and recovery. Later you will have time to reassess whether you want him in your life.
Ginny
February 13, 2019 at 11:01 am
I have been going through a rough time with my now ex for a couple weeks he just said he needed time and space and that he would maybe want to work on things. At other times he has told me he is done and he was going to move out and he has no feelings left for me. I discovered I was pregnant and told him. Nothing has changed for him emotionally but he said he will stay as I can’t afford our house. alone. I’ve realized that he does need time and space and begging or rationalizing won’t change his mind. How do I give him this space while he is still living with me? Are my odds better bc he hasn’t left and wants to be there for this child?
Elisa
February 4, 2019 at 12:58 pm
Hi!
It’s been a month since I broke up with him, I am 7 months pregnant. I was jealous, and now I don’t know if he has someone or no, he said he didn’t have but kinda seems like he has. A lot of fighting happened after a break up too, a was so desperate and needy. He said he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, don’t even text him if it’s not about the baby, but sometimes he act like he care… he says he feel so much pain about us, he wanted to be a family so bad, I know that. He also said he will contact me, when he feels the time is right. I am so confused.
Chris Seiter
February 4, 2019 at 5:16 pm
Hi Elisa! I see you have a lot going on in your life. What is most important is you physical and emotional health going forward. Yes, guys can be confusing. It could be all of what is going on is too much for him to process and he is some mode of avoidance or denial. Have you considered NC. Are you following my eBook/Program guidelines? Remember, its your personal recovery and healing that is most important right now.
Amber
December 1, 2018 at 2:52 am
Hi,
Me and my boyfriend have been together 4 years and have a 2.5 year old daughter together.
I used your system back in February to get my ex boyfriend back. We had a horrible break up in late January and I was for sure he would never come back. I did everything you said and in 6 weeks he was back and better than ever. Fast forward to the present, we basically planned baby number two and we’re both excited. I caught him cheating with multiple women when I was 8 weeks pregnant and in the heat of the argument gave him an ultimatum, his family or the women. He chose himself. I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant and he still acts like he’s mad at me. I just started the No contact rule again yesterday and was planning on going for 45 days this time. I know I have some healing to do because if I feel guilty about someone cheating on me, I need to self evaluate. He said he does still love me and honestly I want our family back. Do you think it’s worth a shot.
Chris Seiter
December 2, 2018 at 2:39 am
Hi Amber…I love it when you said you know you have some healing to do. You do and you can and will. I get into all that in my Program.
JD12
December 1, 2018 at 1:33 am
Pregnant and boyfriend left two weeks ago.
We have been friends for over two years and in the last six months we dated, he supposedly has loved me and wanted to date me all this time…or at least a good portion of it.
I have two kids from my previous marriage (ending 5 years ago) and he has 3 from his (ended 4 years ago) neither of us wanted or planned for more kids. And I was on birth control. We had some rough issues we worked out because we see things differently, but we always managed to “talk them through in the End” (his exact words)
I considered abortion and he said he’d support me either way, while I tried to come to a conclusion as a couple and get feedback, he always just said he’d support me. However he began “taking care of me, making sure I was good to go when I wasn’t feeling well and so on… I began to get the feeling he almost wanted me to keep it and I kind of wanted to as well. So I kept it. A week After I came to my decision he left me, Came home (he’s been living with me for over 3 months now) got his things and said “he didn’t feel he could talk to me and we shouldn’t be together”
I was angry at first and my reaction was hurt because those were the first words out of his mouth. So I did cut him off by saying “seriously?! I can’t believe this is happening! Is it because I decided to keep the baby?!” And he said “see that’s my point you don’t let me talk” and started packing his things and left, it was emotional. He didn’t talk to me for the rest of the weekend, but Came back over Monday night, we talked, then Tuesday night he helped me change the break pads on my car and we talked again that evening and Wednesday. Thursday night on thanksgiving we talked again, I felt we were getting somewhere and he even mentioned how he could tell I was giving him his space and how he could see I legit wanted to hear what he had to say IN our relationship. I always tried to get him to talk, I do care, but at the same time how can I be for someone the way they need if they don’t communicate at times what they need? I felt he ever communicated with me and had given up and now post break up he was beginning to talk. Well Thursday night we end up cuddling and having sex, and this was after four straight evening of talking about our relationship and seeming to have talked through things.
Friday he treated me like a “boyfriend” making sure I got hone, checking in with me at work, and even apologizing that his reply was delayed due to being so busy at work. Then, Saturday he had had plans to go see his friends over the weekend, so I let it go thinking he needed his space and he’d already made plans. I felt we were in a good place and I wasn’t needing immediate attention and our relationship was working itself out. But I heard nothing over the weekend. By Monday evening I was confused and questioning if we were in no contact zone now and simply exes, I didn’t want to think he was using me Thursday night cause we’ve always were friends prior to dating and I don’t like thinking negatively of him, I’ve tried to understand. Then Monday I got a little worked up and simply asked “so I’m confused, are you ignoring me now?”
He apologized and said he’d come home late from his weekend, had fallen asleep and was slammed all Monday at work (he’s a UPS drive and the holidays have made for longer days) I was kind of hurt being put on the shelf all weekend and so I simply replied I was wanting to get in contact with him. The next day he asked “is everything okay”
I was too hurt by then and never bothered replying.
Again I’m pregnant, I’m high risk too, even had something been wrong the night before he didn’t bother to respond until the next day after not reaching out the whole weekend, i kind of felt like it was pointless to matter to him since I clearly don’t.
That response was Tuesday. Then Wednesday afternoon (next day) I texted him a simple head’s up on my ultrasound date which he’d voiced he’d wanted to know. He replied saying thank you and asking for directions to the place. I sent him the address and that was it.
I am so confused. Is it time to let him go, or keep trying to get him to talk to me, I felt we were at %90 a good place after our talks last week and his treatment of me (even before the sex – which I figure now was a mistake) but it felt like it was going in a good direction.
Now he’s MIA and I guess we are going strangers/ex’a route?
Do I just simply enforce the no contact rule on my own? Our last good conversation Thursday night he told me he appreciated me giving him his space and he knows we need to talk and how he’s written everything down and just needed time to clear his head, but now it feels he’s running. I don’t know what to do, and it’s now Friday – as in 8 days later. I haven’t officially even seen him for over a week now (last night)
I don’t know what to do.
And if I enforce no contact now, should I change my appointment time and not let him know? Or just wing it and see if he shows up?
Last Thursday he was going to pick me up and we were going to go together, from what I understood in his text, he’s now wanting the address and is meeting me there? I don’t even know what to think anymore. I’m scared to ask or pressure him cause it’s like he shuts down more everytime I have or i feel i steer the conversations. While I love and miss him and want what we had back, I don’t want to talk him Into being with me. I don’t want to control the outcome of the conversation either. Despite our good conversations last week ( no fighting, hearing each other out, letting the other talk and truly having good conversation) it seemed to just give him more to think about. I don’t want to lose him but am willing to if he feels he’d rather be single and doesn’t even miss me. The silent treatment now certainly makes me feel he doesn’t. Please help me. I’m 12 weeks tomorrow and now I don’t even know how to approach this pregnancy? Completely alone mindset? And if so, while he has a right to be there as the father, i almost am afraid if we are broke up his presence at the appointments will be more stressful than helpful. I need direction.
Chris Seiter
December 2, 2018 at 2:53 am
Hi JD12!
So I see heck of a lot is going on and really don’t feel I do you justice with my short reply….which I will offer up here in bit…but consider picking up my 485 page Flagship product, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as you can get a lot more “me” in my ebook than you can here! I would advise against changing your appointment time as that is important.
reese
November 19, 2018 at 12:36 pm
Hi. I need help. Currently I’m 18 weeks pregnant and want my ex back or at least for us to be cordial. We were together for a year and a half, and I got pregnant on birth control. My ex and I never had heated arguments, our relationship was pretty peaceful, relaxing and understanding for the most part. Around September I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant.. I was hurt and upset that I got pregnant on birth control ( never missed a pill). A few days later I told my boyfriend (well ex now) that I was pregnant. I struggled with telling him because I knew we weren’t stable enough. We were both sleeping on our parents couches and I was in college getting my Bachelors. He told me that he wasn’t stable enough for a baby right now, but that he wasn’t upset. I said okay and left it at that. Within this same few days I found out he was texting other girls.. Fast forward to 3 days later I start to feel insecure so I text him to let him know that I know he was talking to other girls and that he was wrong. We started to argue and in the argument I let him know I was keeping the baby. He said I was trying to trap him, but he didn’t say that when I told him I was pregnant. We both said some things we didn’t mean like I hate you, etc. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve tried to talk to him. First he’d just be mean, then he’d just say he has nothing to say to me. So I stopped trying. Recently I sent him a picture of the baby (ultrasound) and he saw it but didn’t respond. He doesn’t want to hear my side, it’s not like I wanted this to happen but since it did I’ve been preparing myself to become a parent. I lived in California, then moved to Georgia due to dealing with the stressful environment and being in and out the hospital (which he doesn’t know). I love him, but I love my child more. I still want to be with him. I’m picking out names and everything else because he can’t communicate and I can’t stress it too much because I’m tired of being in the hospital. Will he ever come around? Why is he so upset? What can I do? We haven’t had a civil conversation since we broke up. BTW hes 26 and I’m 24.
Megan
October 26, 2018 at 9:55 pm
Hey. My ex and I broke up about 5 weeks ago. We were together for 5 years and have a two year old son together. I am currently 31 weeks pregnant and he says he doesn’t love me anymore and a part of it is because he doesn’t want another baby. Whenever I see him, though, he hugs me and kisses me and cuddles me but when our son is around or when he is talking to his mom he says that we won’t ever get back together because things that broke us up will never change. He says he just cuddles me and does all this because he feels bad for me. I don’t believe him when he says he doesn’t love me and I know in my chest he’ll come back after the baby is here. He says he doesn’t care who I talk to but went on my Snapchat and told me “You and so-and-so go be happy”. He said he has met someone and she makes him very happy. Please help
Chris Seiter
October 26, 2018 at 11:47 pm
Hi Megan!
5 years counts for a lot and I think that could help as traction gets formed when two people have that kind of history left. Its important though right now that you get some support from family and friends. Right now your focus should be on your personal healing and being emotionally and physically healthy.
Danielle
September 30, 2018 at 12:46 pm
Hi Chris, I’m in a tricky situation and I need your guidance! I was seeing a man for about a month and we really enjoyed each other’s company but when he moved back home interstate I realised that I was unexpectedly 5 weeks pregnant. Thankfully my work travels me to where he lives fairly often and I was able to tell him face to face what had happened. At first he took it really well and our conversation was calm and relaxed. After he’d had time to process everything though he was really angry about it and texted me the next day saying that he doesn’t like kids and that keeping it is the worst decision I’ll ever make. I let him cool down and texted back 3 days later to let him know that it was a massive bomb to drop and that his thoughts are justified and that it’s an immense thing to wrap your head around but that I’m firm in my decision. He responded that I’m not capable of raising a child and that he didn’t want anything to do with it but he’d be willing to chat when I’m in town again next weekend. Can you help me? I don’t want anything from this man just respect and a chance for our child to know their dad free of conflict. What should I do?
Chris Seiter
September 30, 2018 at 4:30 pm
Hi Daniele!
So a lot going on in your life and it sounds like your guy will benefit by having time to process things. All first time parents are novices when it comes to raising a child. Keeping the communication channel open is a good thing. Just take it slow and he will come to see that its all going to be fine.
Catherine
September 17, 2018 at 10:18 am
So. Me and my (now ex) partner have been together for 3 years. He had told me in the past that he doesn’t not want anymore children (there is a 21 year age gap and he already has two grown children) but now I am 7 weeks pregnant. I discovered I was pregnant on the Friday and told him on the Sunday evening. However as soon as I told him he was 100% against having the baby. We spent a few hours apart so we could both digest what had happened. When I returned he told me that the relationship was over as he didn’t want to be a dad again. Things got quite heated and some awful things were said from both parties so I packed a bag and left for my parents house. A few hours later I received a text from him to say that he doesn’t know how we got to this point or how things got so bad and he just wanted to me to know how much he loves me but that was it. Not apology or come home or I don’t want to break up. Do you think there is any chance of us sorting things out? We have had no contact since.
Thanks
Chris Seiter
September 17, 2018 at 9:22 pm
Hi Catherine!
I know all of this is hard to process and he definitely handled it very poorly and selfishly on his end. I think you continue with NC and reach out to your support system of family and friends. What is important going forward is your emotional and physical health. I wrote a 247 page ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book” that deals with this entire Principle and also gets deeply into the recovery activities you can embrace.