Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back While You Are Pregnant- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

397 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant”

Mary

October 22, 2016 at 8:26 pm

I am almost 7 months pregnant .. was living with my ex and due to trust issues from my side because of him leaving me and walking out on me before, I because a little insecure and jealous.. the hormones were making act irrational at times I admit it.. we had 4 big fights and on the last one he broke up things with me for good he said.. he said he was tired of my jealousy and didn’t want anything to do with me or the baby.. i asked him to give a chance that the pregnancy has me very emotional and that I’m not the person I was projecting. He said no
It’s been 3 weeks and he hasn’t try to look for me or the baby
I had 2 dr’s appointments already and he hasn’t even try to see how the baby is doing I am doing the no contact rule in planning to do it for one more week .. I’ll be getting another ultrasound before the baby is born and I don’t know if I should let him know about it ?
After all he told his mom he doesn’t want to be with us because he doubts the baby is his , I still feel very offended by that but god and I know is his baby.. I’m afraid he will use me not communicating about he baby’s well being against me one day if I file for child support?
My things are still at his parents house it’s hard for me to find a place to move out I’m almost 7 months and don’t have money to do so.
I’m staying at my parents but that’s until the baby is born.. i don’t know what to do here
He is acting like if he hates me or like if I done something terrible to him. I have a feeling he went back to his ex just how he is done in on the past .. help here please

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 23, 2016 at 9:26 pm

Hi Mary,

that’s too short for a no contact period. You have to do at least 30 or I think or 45 even.. but don’t worry, you can still contact him about doctor’s appointments, as long as it’s only about those.. No feelings, no relationship, no begging for him to come back, no trying to convince him that you’re changing, no hate, no anger… just being civil..

and then focus in making yourself healthy and happy for yourself and the baby.. you can get a paternity test later on if needed.. but right now, he has to think that you’ve accepted the situation, moved on, and aiming to be independent and just to co parent with him…

that way you have a higher chance of him realizing you won’t act jealous anymore and he wont feel pressured around you…

Nanteza Prossy

October 19, 2016 at 1:50 pm

Am also 3months pregnant but my boyfriend changed the day he came to know i was pregnant.So wen i asked if he wanted mi to abort he never supported it.Am the one to cal smtyms he picks up other he makes ma cal busy.i love him and even wen i try to give him time without calling,i end up calling.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 21, 2016 at 1:27 am

Hi Nanteza,
how long were you together? how old are you both? And what do you think about the advice above? are you going to try it?

Alex

October 15, 2016 at 9:20 am

Hi all 🙂

I am 8 and a half months pregnant, met the father, had couple of dates, then I decided I didn’t want to see him again and made it clear to him as I didn’t think he was a good match, had very poor lines and sounded like a cheap player,
When I found out I was pregnant I called him and was really supportive, even though he already had 3 other kids with another woman,
He showed he is very mature and a good man, opposed to what I thought at first.
We tried to be together as a couple but the hormones didn’t let the magic last long as I became really jealous and didn’t trust him at all.
We had 3 big fights and always tried to make things work.
I moved to his place in another country where he works so we could be together when the baby comes and then he told me he is unsure if he wants to be in a serious relationship with me as he is used to live alone.
He cried a lot when I left and also cried few days latter when I said I didn’t want to discuss relationships anymore as I don’t love him, we never really had any talk about feelings or relationships before.
I met his kids and his mother but he hasn’t met anyone in my family.
He is worried also that the mother of his kids won’t allow him to see the kids if we are together, or else that she will make it harder and demand his presence all the time using the kids as an excuse (sick, school issues,..)
I have initiated NC, however he will come to live with me now for few weeks so he can be present when the baby arrives and also spend the first days together as a family to bond with the baby.
Now I’m not sure how this will work (NC) as he can’t sleep next to me without hugging me and initiating sex (which I already decided it won’t happen this time),
I am not sure about my feelings at the moment as I am focusing on the baby but would like things to work as we were great together, he has issues to express his feelings in general and doesn’t like to talk about things that make him worried and he is going through a lot too but this time he was selfish enough to have that conversation that made me go away even when I am already so close to my due date to then regret it.
Sometimes it still crosses my mind that he is seeing other girls but not as much as before, however this is something I have to work on myself too, I could be with someone else even now if I wanted to.
I am keeping positive about this all and will keep you updated on how it goes,

Thank you for all the advice and helping so many people to be happy 🙂

Alex

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2016 at 3:45 pm

Hi Alex,

there are too many issues.. First, his problem with his ex should be his problem only.. If he doesn’t or can’t see your baby because of that, then have a talk that you’re sole concern is your child. His always welcome to be the father of the child but he has to be man enough to talk to his ex about his situation with his other kids.. It’s good that you’re not going to sleep with him again because that will just make your situation worse.

Just make everything simple. I know it’s easy to say but hard to do but that’s the only solution I can see.. Have separate rooms when you live together, and remind yourself of your standards so that it would be easier for you to deal with him. No relationship with him if he’s not faithful. If he really wants this to work, there should more effort on his side than you trying to convince him.. Because there shouldn’t even any convincing to be done..

Cathorse

October 11, 2016 at 4:45 pm

So I was in a long-distance relationship with the boyfriend for 1.5 years. We just broke up during my this visit to him. Reason? He don’t want to marry me, for many reasons. But I wanted to marry him… However, I agreed this breakup. When I was leaving, I found out being pregnant. I told him, he insisted I should go abortion. But I’m 36 already, this is my first child. I do want to keep the baby. Now questions: 1. The baby’s father actually is a man in his fifties, never married or have kids, he told me want to settle with kids in the early stage of our dating. So is that possible for this man to change his mind to accept the child? 2. Now he is in a mode no communication since I don’t agree abortion, and he thinks I’m trying to trap him, what shall I do to make him know I just want a child, not on purpose trap him? 3. Being a single mum is difficult, and even more difficult in my country. If possible, I hope at least can have a marriage certificate to keep this child even later divorce, I don’t need his financial support or being there, but I just don’t want the social pressure having child without marriage. How can I made him to agree on this? Finally…I’m still happy even this relationship didn’t go the way I was expecting. But I’m so grateful the god given me this gift. Appreciate your answers.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 5:50 pm

Hi Cathrose,

You need to be strong.. Other people’s opinions are just opinions. Getting a marriage certificate for other people’s opinion is not the right reason for it.. People will have a say in whatever situation you are in, so you have to build a thick skin for that. Besides, you don’t live for them, you live for your child now..

You can’t force him, so the best you can do is to give him space because the more you try to convince him now, the more you will look like you’re forcing him. Right?

I’m happy that you think that whatever happens, you have a blessing, hold on to that. Him marrying you is the least priority now..

S

September 19, 2016 at 3:59 am

Wow just proves how phyco you girls are, I’m researching why my ex is telling me is pregnant while I am at sea working but insists I keep it to myself and don’t tell a soul and refuses to send me and scan photos or any evidence to prove that she is in fact pregnant..

you say your old fashioned am assuming you still want equal rights yeah? But still expect the man to pay for everything? Pfft the what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is my own I call this the wyimawmim mindset..

Seriously if you guys just stopped playing these phyco head games we would all be in a better place just say what your thinking and tell us how you feel.. So hard? Treat us like personal phyco logical experiment no wonder we have the life is over mindset half the time is not the child we worry about but the mind battering women we have messed up having them with!

Abbigail

October 3, 2016 at 6:33 pm

That’s not always true. I’m pregnant and my ex left me bc of a fight that could have been avoided if he would have just met me in the middle. He was playing mind games and continues to play mind games even still. I’ve been sad and worrying wth he’s been doing for weeks now but he continues to hang with his friends, drinking, and doing God knows what. I’ve told him about my complications during the pregnancy and he could care less. I’ve done all I could to try and keep us together but his own selfishness kept him away. That is not mine or the baby’s fault. It’s his own selfishness. Any man who can walk away from a child or the mother at this time over a petty fight was never a man in the first place.

Your situation is a little different, considering she isn’t giving any evidence but we aren’t all just crazy and play mind games. We’re given a reason.

Santateresa

September 10, 2016 at 4:50 am

Hi. I am 26 weeks pregnant and my situation is kind of different.
I was living with my baby daddy and we would always fight. He initially wanted me to abort but I refused. And then we agreed we’d go for it. When I was 20 weeks and couldn’t take both the emotional pain and the physical pain of the pregnancy (my tummy was hurting so much, I was afraid I’d have a miscarriage) , I decided to fly home to my parents, coz my mom is a Dr. He didn’t approve of it and hated my making decision to fly home without consulting him (he always wearing earphones at home so I couldn’t talk to him). My mom found what was wrong with me-UTI, malnutrition for me and the baby, low hemoglobin etc. I started treatment and kept in touch with him, promising to fly back in two weeks. Well, days prior to my flight he was saying he would fly home to his parents in another continent basically for two weeks and spend the weekend away after my return probably to spend a weekend biking with his friends .
I was angry, because it felt like he was trying to get back at me for just jetting off and he wanted me to feel how he felt when I left him. But it’s not fair coz I was having pregnancy issues and I was hurting and the doctors in that country were helpless and we are both expats so I have no one in that country but him. I told him I wasn’t flying back if he would hardly be by my side. What do I do in case of emergency???
I stopped messaging him a month ago.
He would message me about the baby and my check ups and then lately my parents were asking what his plans were. So I messaged him and he said he plans to be a dad. I said he could still be a dad without us being together. I asked him if he still wants to work it out or not. But I’ll be giving birth in a few months and I need know for practicalities sake – considering there are three countries involved- if we are going to try it out. I said for example if he doesn’t want to try it out that’s fine, but because we live in two different countries I want my baby to have my last name, not his. If he wants to try it out, we can fly back to our country of residence, but I want a consent form that lets me fly internationally with the baby-so we can leave if it doesn’t work out.
Well,. It’s been a week and he hasn’t replied. Im not being emotional about it, I’m being practical. i just need to know if I should start looking for a nanny, a bigger house etc here. I’m mentally preparing for him to say he doesn’t want to to work it out and I made it clear its OK, but due to laws and legalities(visas, taxes) , the earlier I know the better. It’s frustrating that he doesn’t reply-all I want is news, even if its bad news. What so difficult about ending it so I can move on? I want it to come from him, that’s it . and I made that quite clear to him. But he refuses to communicate when the topic goes to our relationship. I’ve been doing the NC rule(I’m pretty good at that). I don’t text him and don’t plan on doing so. I just don’t know how to coax an answer out of him. Don’t get me wrong I want it to work out -i love him but he hurt me mea lot and besides I’m too proud to go crawling back. So my attitude is like, ‘ You want to end it? Fine, let’ s f*****g end it! Bring it on! Your loss!! !!! ‘ and then he disappears and I don’t hear from him!!!! I don’t know how to handle him when he builds that stone wall around him

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 12, 2016 at 7:11 am

Hi Santateresa,

You can’t control him, so the best you can do is if it doesn’t work out when you’ve already given birth to your child, is to use your last name for the child. If he really wants it to work out, he’ll fly to you and your child.

Nichole

August 29, 2016 at 2:14 pm

7 weeks pregnant by my ex. He’s 28 I’m 26. Broke up in 2013 after 4.5 years. Been fooling around on and off even since. Fast forward to today. Shortly after we became pregnant he started dating this girl. He has since told her that I’m expecting and that it his child but wasn’t truthful about how far along I was to cover his butt (we all know the truth will come out in the end.) We have incredibly good chemistry and always have. We get a long great and during my worst times and his worst times we were both very supportive of another. Eventually though my depression got the best of.me and he couldnt handle it hence the break up. Any ways. Although we say we don’t want a relationship with eachother do you think that may change with this for be use of the baby. We basically dobthe no contact thing. He never messages me about the baby and I only message him to let him know about appts. Idk. I don’t know if I want the family because I’m pregnant or if I still care about him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 31, 2016 at 9:26 am

Hi Nichole,

A baby is always a blessing right? 🙂 Anyways, I’m not a mom but of course you’re going to be a mom and maybe the hormones, makes you want to have a complete family.

But him being a father and a partner is two different roles. For me, it’s ok to ask him or demand that he should be a great father but being a partner should come more naturally from him. If I was in your position, I won’t ask to be back together especially that he has a girlfriend. He has to work for me. The good news is that you have a lot of time because he will see you everytime he will come to see his child. So, just focus in your health right now, and in recovering after birth, getting your life routine back and working on yourself independently as a person, apart from being a mom..

Don’t sleep with him again if you’re not together. Raise your value. Don’t let him think that you’re chasing him to have a complete family. Even if you are not together, as long as he’s being a good father, that ok.

Ann

August 29, 2016 at 8:29 am

I’m almost 7 months pregnant and the father of my child left me because I didn’t get an abortion. We were dating for almost 2 years and I did love him. However I found out that he had three other girlfriends while he was dating me. I know he’s not worth it because he’s a lying cheater but I want my baby to have a relationship with his father. Will the No Contact rule still work? Also he told me he doesn’t want to be on the birth certificate and that he doesn’t want anything to do with me or the child, no life updates, nothing. So inviting him to check ups won’t work. Any tips?

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 31, 2016 at 7:20 am

Hi Ann,

We can’t guarantee that.. Basically the only thing that will most likely happen if you stop asking him to be responsible for his child is that he will be less annoyed of you.. Maybe when he sees that you’re happy, you and your child, he may have second thoughts and want to be involved again.

Sarah

August 28, 2016 at 4:17 pm

So my ex and I dated for about 8 months during that time we were so in love but my family didn’t like him and I think that really affected him. I fought for him the next couple of months and then gave up but then he contacted me and we got back together (during that period he had said some quite mean things to me and also used to just not respond to me a lot of the time except when he wanted to speak). I probably sound quite desperate
Anyway, we thought let’s try to make it work. I was really trying and putting in loads of effort but he wasn’t and if j ever mentioned this he would say that I was “nagging” and so is apologise. To me it felt like a vicious cycle. Anyway, we eventually broke up 5 weeks ago. I was out with my friends and he responsed in our convo about 3 hours later saying that he was no longer having a night in but going for a couple of drinks but he was driving. I thought and said excited “come and pick me up!” Thinking itd be nice to have some drinks together with his friends. His response was to say he wasn’t driving anymore. I was expecting to tell me to come anyway but he didn’t so I just said ok have fun. He then asked what my problem was to which I replied I just thought we could be spontaneous and have some drinks together. He then started saying to me that I was creating issues and unnecessary animosity and we’d planned to see each other the next night so what was the issue. He then turned his phone off so I couldn’t contact him. The next morning he said to me “read back the messages and let me know what you think”. I stupidly apologised and said sorry I just wanted to see you and have fun with you. He then just said he’d talk to me later. I messaged asking what time we were meeting that evening. He didn’t respond for 4 hours and said “he wasn’t happy about last night and didn’t want to see me” – this was an hour before my suggested time of meeting. We then didn’t speak until the following evening when I tried to call (he didn’t answer as expected) and then messaged to say that I was just phone to draw a line under our relationship. He then messaged saying he’d call me the next day- he had a habit of prolonging things out. We had a nice amicable convo the next day and it was all fine. We met the following weekend so I could get some of my stuff and he seemed quite cold and checked out of the relationship. We didn’t speak for 3 weeks until he messaged on my birthday. I was abroad but just said thank and then stupidly dropped the bombshell that I needed to talk to him. (I realised I should’ve waited now). Once I was back the next day I messaged saying I was weeks late and worried. His concern wasn’t to ask if I was ok but ok we need to sort this out. I said I’d message later in the week. He messaged the next day. Things turned sour because I asked him bout something a mutual friend said re him taking drugs. He immediately went on the defensive and attacked me and said that she said she didn’t say he took drugs and that I was lying to catch him out and I was now lying about being late. So I told him to leave me alone and I’d deal with it myself. He then said no we’ll deal with it together but when we tried to organise a time he was like gues I’ll have to cancel my plans on that day then (he was going for drinks). I said don’t worry about it I’ll deal with it because I didn’t want him to resent me any more than he did but he seemed to just get angry when I said we need to stop talking because he constantly just has me in tears and attacks and I deserve better, all I needed was some support from him. We have now not spoken since. I’ve had to omit some details because this is already so long but am I in the wrong here??

Saeah

September 7, 2016 at 7:50 am

Hi,
So turns out I was pregnant and I told him, he didn’t respond with anything except so you’re pregnant.
When I was at my appointment to deal with it I messaged saying all I needed was his support.
I don’t want to be with him at all but he’s made out like I’m crazy and blocked me on via phone and social media.
Will he ever feel any remorse?!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 8, 2016 at 8:26 am

Just like what the article said, give him time. If he thought you were chasing before, now he likely feels pressured..
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 30, 2016 at 5:46 pm

Hi Sarah,

Well, it looks like he thinks you’re chasing him.. how are you now?

JESSI

July 20, 2016 at 9:02 am

i am 1 month pregnant. My ex and i had relationship for 6 months and we broke up 6 months ago. Last two months we met few time. Last month we had a huge fight cause i found out he has a girlfriend. And. i blocked him away. Yesterday, i found out i am pregnant with his child. What should i do? i cant go into surgery room.
i love him but he is a playboy. Actually, when we had relationship he cheated me with his highschool girl. Now he is with her, and he cheated her with me. He said he ended everything. but it was lie. what should i do ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 21, 2016 at 3:15 pm

Hi Jessi

let him know the truth but of course, it would only be for the sake of being transparent first..

if he is willing to support the baby, that’s good but don’t ask to be back with him and then do limited no contact

Brittany

July 5, 2016 at 2:15 am

I am only 7 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend recently left me. We have only been together in a romantic relationship for 7 months but we have been close friends for many years. We discussed having children and for the most part this was a planned pregnancy. When I first told him he seemed excited and we had just found a place together. Well within a week about 2 weeks after discovering I was pregnant he decided he no longer wanted to live together and signed our lease by himself and told me I could not move in. He also has been trying to convince me and even begged me to have an abortion. His parents are foreign immigrants and do not approve of our relationship (even though I’m 26 and he’s 30 and were adults capable of making our own decisions). His parents set him up with another woman before discovering I was pregnant. When I refused to have an abortion he told me he wanted nothing to do with me or the child and to stay out of his life. I feel very lost and confused and betrayed because he was the one who wanted children and was set on making our relationship work (I wanted to stay friends). What do I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2016 at 5:52 am

Hi Brittany,

keep the baby if you want, you can do it.. do you want to try Chris’ advice above?

Meryl

July 2, 2016 at 6:05 pm

Hi chris, i really hope you can give some advice ive read your site and its really intriguing.
Well to cut a long story short im currently 30 weeks pregnant ive known my ‘boyfriend’ for almost a year we first started as friends with benefits but then when became good friends and started to have feelings for each other but our relationship was always kept a secret…then a couple of months later started to have feelings for each other he went to his native home for holiday (his Indian) and got engaged for an arranged marriage from then on i told him that i could accept him as before but he was saying he has no choice im older than him by 3 years and that his parents will never accept me blah blah…so when he came back he still wanted to continue our relationship then he got some bad news his mom had passed away he went back for the funeral after that i felt pity for him so I continued to sleep with him but in my head i knew i will never accept him with his new wife well one month later i found out i was pregnant i told him about it but he was hysterical he wanted me to have an abortion because it would ruin his name…but i told him that i dont believe in abortion and promised him that he can carry on with his life and I will never tell anyone his the father but still he was upset saying that i was ruining his name blah blah so i cut off contact with him he continued to contact me saying that we should meet up for a holiday I went thinking that we would talk about the baby we never talked about the baby so after the holiday i felt used and he started to become distant saying he was busy with the wedding preparation and that to please give him so time and we will talk more when he was less busy…this never happened two weeks before his wedding i had a huge fight with him because he was ignoring eventhough i told him to at least keep contact to tell me how he us and he got very upset and told me to forget about him well after a few days i missed him and apologized but since then he was never the same and gave me one word answers so I decided to leave him alone and wished him all the best then i did nc for one week and he text me to say if I remember him and why i didn’t wish him for his wedding i gave him a one word answer then one week after he txt to ask how i was i said im ok and he said he was not bad at all and that he was living at his wife place since then I continued nc and i haven’t heard from him I loved him but cannot accept him being married to another and he has been posting photos of him and his wife looking happy together…the thing is should I keep him informed about the baby im going to have a scan in two weeks…the first scan i had i send him photos and he was happy to see his baby but that was before he got married…i know that there’s no possibility of getting him back because how he is reacting but should i keep limited contact to update him about the baby…i hope uni i dont sound pathetic….if you can reply me in private that would be nice…

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 4, 2016 at 4:20 pm

hi Meryl,

Nope don’t update him anymore.. if he really wants to see his chils, he has to make an effort for it

Isis

June 13, 2016 at 1:56 am

I’m 28, almost 7 mos pregnant. My 31 yr old ex knew about the surprise pregnancy since month one. At that time, we’d been dating for about 8 mos. He already has a 5-yr old with another woman who has long since moved on and married, but he supports and visits his kid, so when he found out I was pregnant, he reacted with surprise but knew he could handle another child since he cares for one already. He also valued that I was independent with a good career, financially stable which his previous gf didn’t have (plus she had 4 other kids). Initially, the first 4 mos he seemed ok, started making plans to get a new place so we can move in together and raise a family. He said he loved me, would say supportive words and tell me not to be afraid when the day comes. However, I started having mood swings, becoming impatient with how little we got to see each other (he works as a full time chef) and barely communicating about plans for the future. I became a text gnat, pushing him further away, which in turn his avoidance just made me even more stressed and feeling unsupported. He started asking if I could give him time to think things through, which I did poorly in respecting. 3 wks ago after being a text gnat again, he told me, “Now I have been nice before, but I can’t stand your millions of texts and I hate to sound cold but we’re done. Just keep me posted about (pregnancy) updates.”

I became the worst I ever could be that night, sending begging texts, breaking down entirely, and tried to meet him after his work but he entirely avoided me. What’s worse is I contacted his parents and told them of the pregnancy, but they never knew about it and were very shocked too. A few days later my ex got very upset with me, sending me multiple texts about how it feels like I trapped him, and resentment for telling his parents when he wanted to do that with them in person (they live in another country). He texted me “that’s why I’m avoiding you, you keep trying to force things”. He wanted a paternity test too (which really hurt because he was my first too, I’m very introverted and it’s hard to get that close to anyone). My responses were short, I knew I went too far and I was too overwhelmed to start drama again. After that last exchange, I started No Contact on my own. I only sent a text about a paternity test appointment, and recently a small 2-line text about how baby is doing after my last appointment (following your column advice). He responded to my last one with a question “what’s breech?” which I couldn’t reply immediately to, then about 20 min later, he sent a “nevermind, I got it” text which I didn’t need to respond to. Paternity results will be in a few more days.

My question is, what are the chances that he might reconsider things? Before we broke up, he was very cold, stubborn, unwavering during the moments we did converse. And I’m afraid he wouldnt care to go to check ups even after 3 wks of No Contact.

I will purchase soon your book, so far everything I’ve read, watched vids and podcasts too, have helped me improve and heal myself (new dresses, nice maternity pictures, nails done ect.). In the end no matter what happens, I know I’ll be okay, and am blessed and excited to meet baby soon.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 11:59 am

Hi Isis,

actually you should do 45 day nc because of the extent of what happened..how are you now?

kawaii

June 12, 2016 at 4:07 pm

hi I’m 27weeks of pregnant and we are in a long distance relationships right now because of his job before he is excited to have a baby to me but before we met each other I’m not the kind of girl who take a serious relationships just flirt cause I’m afraid to be hurt and i met many men and i cheated him but when I’ve realize that i can’t live without him I’ve change i become serious to him and i cant lose him ,even if i hurt him many times but he’s still there for me even if he’s friends are against us but he still choose me and at that time I’ve change already and i really love him now that I’m 27weeks pregnant it seems he’s avoiding me he deactivated his fb ,but of course he know may fb ,skype etc. last month we have a misunderstanding he said he can’t forget my past,and he can’t forgive me i ask him it’s my past and I’ve change already etc. it’s almost 2weeks he did not message me but i call he’s num.again and again so today he message me and he said sorry he can’t forgive me and forget my past ,i know he really loves me and ireally love him and i can’t live without him what should i do now so that he will forget,and forgive me to my stupid past I know i hurt him .please i need your help ….

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 10:42 am

Hi Kawaii,

are you following chris’ advice here?

Morgan Hill

June 6, 2016 at 10:19 am

What if he asks you to get an abortion?
I am 12 weeks now, but 2 weeks ago, he told me he wanted me to get an abortion. I got really upset because I’ve told him many times over I don’t believe in abortion and I’d never consider it. When I got upset about it (and cried the whole time), he basically called me stupid and said I was ruining his (and my own) life. Told me I’d be an unfit mother and I’d probably die during child birth (I have many medical conditions, none of which would effect the child’s birth). We’ve only spoken once since then, and that was for me to ask him how he feels about me and the situation (if he still loves me and wants to be involved with the child). He said he doesn’t know and was still adamant about wanting an abortion. I believe me saying no is the reason he left me, so what do I do about that? I mean, I still love him to death and want him in my life, but I feel so alone and heartbroken.
Also, he’s 19 (20 this month) and I’m 20 (21 in October). I don’t know if that makes any difference.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 6:23 am

HI Morgan,

how are you now? I hope you made the decision that you really want.

Charlie

June 5, 2016 at 2:11 pm

Hi, me again. He started to seem very disinterested in texts so I slipped into no contact for about a week. Towards the end of that week I had a prental appointment and he showed upto that. We ended up texting that day and the next about the appointments. Then out of nowhere he texted and asked if we could meet up sometime to talk. I said yes and we setup to meet the next day. He basically wanted to meet up to apologize is in person. Not just for leaving me pregnant but his entire actions throughout our relationship. We continued to talk as friends a bit of other relationship stuff, no arguments though. I ended the conversation at about an hour while we were still chatting about life. Within about an hour he texted me about a band, I responded and mentioned I had a nice time. He mentioned he felt the same. Soooo now what? We never even had a phone call before this. Do I try to build rapport?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 4:47 am

Hi Charlie,

slowly.. He’s just starting to open up so just continue on being interdependent and end convos in high note.

Charlie

May 25, 2016 at 7:18 pm

Sooo I need to know if I screwed up. I have bought all three books and they have been super helpful. I’m 13 weeks pregnant with my ex’s baby. I successfully completed the no contact period. The first two times I contacted him he responded positively and quickly. Third time I used to ” memory text” like outlined in the book. He responded positive but also asked why I was being so nice to him lately. I responded that I’m a nice person haha and if he was going to be in my child’s life if I could try to be a friend of sorts. I had tried to find something about how to respond to those questions but couldn’t. We texted back and forth a couple of times then conversation ended. Do I proceed as normal and try the story next? Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 27, 2016 at 1:33 pm

Hi Charlie,

don’t go too fast, because I think he’s starting to think that you’re trying to get him back. And slowing down can also help to portray that you’re not available always. So, keep maintaining being happy or just optimistic for the baby. Continue with being friendly so that he’ll be more comfortable around you.

Susan

May 22, 2016 at 9:56 am

Hi, my ex partner left me at six weeks pregnant. Prior to me being pregnant, he had stress about being unemployed and would always threaten to leave the State to find more opportunities. The pregnancy was the final straw – he left me to do this as well as wanting no involvement with the child. He even tried to encourage me to get an abortion. The first week and a half he left I ignored all communication. Then I started communicating again and he would take his time to get back to me. Anyway, the other day he decided to have an argument with me and made it clear he did not want anything to do with us. I am 10 weeks pregnant and alone. How will the ‘no contact’ rule apply now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 26, 2016 at 10:26 am

Hi Susan,

The baby is the first priority. So, do no contact for the both you. You have to find your own happiness. You know even healthy relationships has to have their individual priorities and character intact. If he doesn’t want you and the baby, it will be his loss.

Nikki

May 9, 2016 at 6:21 am

Now, what if you dumped him before you realized you were pregnant? I sometimes have a habit of quiting relationships when I get stressed out and I fear with the Pregnancy hormones going crazy on top of work stress, I might have blown things out of of proportion and ended things. Now I know I’m pregnant with his baby, but he doesn’t. He did try to talk me out of it initially, but I was angry and we haven’t spoken in a month. My question is, if I am the dumper rather than the dump-ee and he doesn’t even know about the baby, how would first contact work? Do I tell him in the first message?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 9, 2016 at 12:17 pm

Hi Nikki,

he should the at the soonest best possible time that you can tell him.. so that whatever he’s reaction is, you can deal with it early

Ashlynn

April 19, 2016 at 4:09 pm

My x and I are both 21. He left me at 29 weeks pregnant after being together for 2 years he said we never have worked well together and are too different (I am not outgoing, we want different things but I’m not sure what he could have meant by that) He said he still loves me, even in love with me, but he wants to focus on his business and that we should have ended things much earlier on. Towards the end he acted like his life was ruined. We met to talk about his involvement with the baby and he said it would crush him to see me with someone else and he wants to be a part of our childs life, even though his family despises me and tells him not to. He’s always been obsessed with friends I feel he is more relieved than anything to be able to go out and party without reporting to someone but a few months ago he said he wanted to marry me and be a family and he started seeming more and more uninterested. I think his family and his friends have encouraged his negative mindset I don’t know if there could be a chance I am confused by the inconsistency. I haven’t contacted him in 5 days and he hasn’t tried either. Before I get the book I want to know a professional opinion of my chances.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 21, 2016 at 10:44 am

Hi Ashlynn,

to be honest, it may even take longer than 30 days.. you have to be patient because it looks like he’s not ready for the responsibility.. give him space.. I know he should be involved and it’s good that you already talked it but don’t do it repetitively so he won’t feel more preasured…it has more to do with his age because 21 is still young.. it’s really the age that you would want experience a lot

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