9 Proven Steps To Get Your Ex Back If YOU Broke Up With Him

572 thoughts on “You Broke Up With Your Ex Boyfriend And Now You Want Him Back”

Patricia

May 22, 2019 at 7:21 am

Hi Chris,

This is Patricia, I met my ex four months ago and it felt as if I was meeting my soulmate , we share the same interests, values , dreams and it feels as if he is the male version of me. He’s Irish and I’m Spanish and through the relationship we have encountered kind of language barrier / cultural problems about how we understand each other, nevertheless I always felt this was something we could overcome.

He asked me out very early on on the relationship because he also thought I was his soulmate and even I thought this was very early I was very excited and I accepted to formalize our relationship.

Through the relationship , his attitude changed and I started feeling I wasn’t a priority and or as if he wasn’t giving his 100% and this of course affected me and I communicated with him. After a while he realized he needed time to think and he says he is figuring himself out , but he is afraid of losing me and never again finding someone he matches as much as he does with me.
I felt attacked and I decided to split up with him , because him thinking made me feel as if he was questioning my worth, I established the no contact rule but it’s been almost two days and this has been killing me , I feel worse than ever and with a huge fear of loosing who I consider my soulmate forever , just because of a huge misunderstanding.

I want to get him back in a committed way, but this distance is killing me and I actually feel devastated. Please give me some advice.

Chris Seiter

May 22, 2019 at 2:07 pm

Hi Patricia…I know it can be tough in the early days. It might help you to pick up my Program (EBR PRO Bundle) as it includes a lot of material and also free access to my Private Facebook Support Group

Tonia

May 21, 2019 at 2:36 pm

Good day, I
Felicia

May 19, 2019 at 5:16 pm

Hey! My ex boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months now. We love and trust each other with everything. It is an online relationship so we mostly talk on the phone, text, and game together. One time we were gaming and his friend (a female) has joined and started talking to him. They both speak English and Spanish, and I dont understand Spanish. She was making fun of my voice and said “why does she sound like that” and mocking me in Spanish and he was laughing, but then whenever she said something in Spanish, he would reply in English (im assuming he did that to let me know what they’re talking about). At that moment, my body was shaking, I was so hurt because she was dissing me and all he did was laughing with her. He didn’t even defend me or ask her to stop. So I left and he texted me saying that she’s been his friend for the longest time and this is the first time she acts like that. He even said that she was just hating. I told him that she probably had a crush on him and she saw me as a threat, he said he doesnt know. I was so hurt because he supported her bullying me (when he laughed along) and I was crying. He said at that moment he was caught of guard and did not know how to react. I even heard him calling her “baby” as they spoke in Spanish, and i feel that they have something going on. That is why i called him fake because he did not pick my side. At first he was telling me to grow up and not make a big deal out of it, and that I shouldnt abandon him because of that incident, but I told him that this incident has shown me a lot about him. When I asked why did he laugh with her at me, he said “it sounded a lot funnier in Spanish” And tried to play the victim. The next day I told him I’m done and he started to apologize and telling me how much he loves me and I mean to him, but I told him that he probably likes her is why he picked her side and did not even tell her to be nice. Then I blocked him.

This happened yesterday and ever since then i feel so depressed and guilty because I’m not sure if i did the right decision. I am so hurt and I want him back because I really love him, but he keeps gaming with her and even if they dont have anything going on behind my back, I will always feel jealous because he is playing with a girl that dissed me.
I want him back because when I feel like I was a bit mean to him and did not give him a chance to talk, I called him fake and blocked him right away.
Please help me. What should I do now?

Chris Seiter

May 19, 2019 at 9:21 pm

Take a look at picking up my Program (EBR PRO Bundle) as it will give you some tools to figure out how all this works. Sometimes just having some space and time apart can make a big difference, especially if you are doing things to reinforce your value.

Sabrina

April 13, 2019 at 8:57 pm

My boyfriend and I recently fought and it was all my fault. The relationship is new (2 months) and we’re still figuring things out. We are also in a long-distance relationship .

One day he told me he was sick from over fatigue and didn’t tell me about it until I messaged him. That pissed me off so I snapped with “how would I know?” I started to pick a fight with him and told me to stop because it’s not helping the situation.

I told him I feel bad that I’m not there to take care of him. My emotions got the better of me and I ended up saying things I shouldn’t. One being what set everything off: I broke up with. Even told him he’s better off without. I knew I should think twice in sending that message, but I sent it. He read it and after a few hours later I apologized for my behavior.

He didn’t respond on my messages so the next day I asked him if he’s still mad at me. He said “no, I’m just being silent.” He then said that he’s always been patient of my outbursts but what happened yesterday was just alarming and he needs time to think and recover from his sickness.

The next day I apologized again and this time he told me that doesn’t think he can go on. He told me the following things which were hurtful:

“You’ve hurt me so much.”
” i guess I won’t go on. I’ll just get the love and longiness from my kids”. (he’s a single dad
“i’m bad at handling trauma and you already gave me one”

He sent me a lot of messages saying that I’m selfish and that I’m just adding to his existing problems. I was crying because it felt like talking to an entirely different person. I asked him to give me another chance and he said “I can’t right now, you’re not helping in my recovery ”

Now I’m actually confused if he did mean to break up with because he sounded uncertain. But at the same time he said that he needs to compose himself. I stopped messaging him and wonder if that breakup was official because he seemed unsure of it. He used words like “I think” and “I guess” like for example he said “I guess I should leave” instead of “I should leave”.

At this rate I just don’t know if he wants to go back to me after the pain I put him through. I hurt him so bad and I know no amount of apologies can make him feel better. What should I do at this point? I’m going to give him time, but is it going to work seeing I gave him trauma from sending him a breakup message that I didn’t mean?
bee

April 11, 2019 at 3:10 am

Hello, Chris!
This is going to make the most sense if I provide to you the whole background.
My ex and I were together 2 years before he left me for another woman.
3 Months passed, I felt the worst heartache of my life, he was my soulmate.
I almost got into a new relationship but right before i did, he came into my life again, very apologetic and reality slapped him in the face. We had a very deep soul connection I love him so much. So within the next 3 months we got a house together, I moved in for the first time, he bought us a puppy, put a down payment on a car for me, and of course, proposed to me.
It sends chills throughout my body to call him my ex fiancé.
Because all I’ve ever wanted in life was to marry my soulmate (who doesn’t?)
The excitement lasted for a few weeks until I realized what all was happening.
Feelings started to resurface for the guy I almost dated before my ex came back into my life.
Literally weeks before we got engaged I snuck out while he worked night shift to see the man I almost dated and kissed him (but nothing more)
He went through my phone and found out
He was devastated
He never treated me the same after this
The guy used to be a good friend of his years ago
So my ex became very mentally abusive and clearly resented me. I tried so hard to make it up to him, I wanted to marry him for Christ sakes. But he became more and more hostile. I was frightened and didn’t know how to fix it. All my friends told me to leave him because they thought it was the only solution. So I did. And boy did that create a whole world of problems that I wasn’t prepared for.
So here I am in love with two people. I spend time with the new guy now and I do love him but it absolutely feels like my soul is calling for my exes. The bond and love we shared is so unexplainable. He texts me occasionally but seems very hurt and angry no matter how much I profess my love for him it seems like he doesn’t care. I’m 21 almost 22 living with my parents again. I can tell they are upset with the situation. He texted my mom while she was away and asked her how her and the family are.
I’m so sick to my stomach about this and it is causing so much depression in my life
I’m stuck in a rut and don’t know what to do
Any advice would be appreciated
Thank you so much
Florence

December 2, 2018 at 9:57 pm

Hi Chris,
I broke up my ex because I didn’t feel I was a priority, despite us speaking about it one week prior. I realise now that it was a mistake however since the breakup we’ve hooked up with each other twice. He says that he cares about me, we have great chemistry etc but by me breaking up with him he realised he needed to work on himself. Is it too late to start the steps? Is there hope?

Chris Seiter

December 3, 2018 at 9:33 pm

There is always hope Florence, but your focus should be on your own healing and recovery. Implementing no contact can help you with that and tapping into my Program can give you the big picture view of how you should proceed going forward!

Stephanie

November 27, 2018 at 9:13 am

My ex has depression which he is now taking meds for. However, when he isnt well or things are not quite right he snaps at me constantly, and this really hurts.
His dad is dying and as. Physio and a partner Im trying to help him through this. He asks questions about what I think and when I answer its not to his liking, or I may suggest things that would help, but he says Im making him out as if he knows nothing. Ive explained this is not my intensions, I only want to make life a little easier.
So, the other day we went to visit his dad but everything I suggested he snapped my head off at. I know this maybe grief and him coming to turns with losing his dad, but I also dont think it right that I become he verbal bashing bag.
He behaved in such an aweful way that night I told him I couldnt take anymore and walked out.
I feel terrible and I really do love him, but he was breaking my heart with his verbal comments.
He did not respond to me walking out except, has blocked me.
Im so confused, I feel hurt Ive walked out at a vulnerable time for him but Im also hurting from being verbally abused.
Can you help?
Princess

September 19, 2018 at 12:39 am

Hi Chris
I broke up with my boyfriend because I felt he wasn’ t making me a priority. His reason was he was “busy”. He never made time for me. I told him this 3 weeks ago. He broke up with me and said he can’t make time at the moment. I said ok. But then we talked it through and got back together. We were ok for about a week. Then things started sliding. Don’t want to go into details. Also note it was long distance. I got frustrated with him yesterday because I barely heard from him over the weekend and when I did it was like a one liner text. So I told him I felt him fading away and I didn’t want to be ghosted on. I told him it felt like he only talked to me “when he had time” which to me means I’m literally at the bottom of the barrel. I told him I was done. I couldn’t take his behavior anymore. So I ended it. I felt I did the right thing. Then later today I found out he unfriended me on FB. But didn’t on IG(I unfollowed him). For some reason it broke me. I just cried. I sent him a message and said I couldn’t believe he unfriended me that if he was trying to hurt me he succeeded. He responded and said he unfriended me because I asked him to “go away”. I just said ok and left it at that. All I wanted was for him to realize how he was hurting and maybe change. At the same time I’m prepared to leave if he doesn’t step up. 🙁

Chris Seiter

September 19, 2018 at 2:56 am

Hi Princess!

I am sorry things slide away so fast. Don’t be alarmed. Breakups are not that rare. He seems to be either insensitive or out there feeling sorry for himself. I do think you should implement no contact. Go to my home page and check out all the resources I have that will help you put together your ex recovery plan.

Summer

August 5, 2018 at 2:36 pm

Ok thanks very much Chris. Is it possible to delete my previous comment? I’d prefer to not have so much personal information on the internet! The story is quite easily identifiable! Thanks 🙂

Chris Seiter

August 5, 2018 at 6:19 pm

Took care of deleting that comment for you!

Chris Seiter

August 5, 2018 at 2:21 am

Hi Summer!

I am glad you were calm and felt empowered in managing this latest situation.. That is so important, not matter what happens with this relationship. You know…it have always believed the future is moving with all sorts of possibilities. We can influence it to some degree. There will be different paths you can choose to walk and it seems to me you are finding out more about yourself and your needs in a relationship…and that is a good thing. So I think you are on a very good path. Keep radiating positivity and embracing fulfilling experiences while you are engaged in your LNC. Either he catches up with you in the emotional maturity department or not.
Chris Seiter

August 5, 2018 at 2:21 am

Hi Summer!

I am glad you were calm and felt empowered in managing this latest situation.. That is so important, not matter what happens with this relationship. You know…it have always believed the future is moving with all sorts of possibilities. We can influence it to some degree. There will be different paths you can choose to walk and it seems to me you are finding out more about yourself and your needs in a relationship…and that is a good thing. So I think you are on a very good path. Keep radiating positivity and embracing fulfilling experiences while you are engaged in your LNC. Either he catches up with you in the emotional maturity department or not.
Brooke Killette

April 24, 2018 at 1:11 pm

So I broke up with my boyfriend after 2 years, this has been the hardest pain for me, Im 24 and he was my first boyfriend, and the first man I lived with. but we haven’t been getting alone we just are different people and want different things in life. but at first after I broke up with him he would text me and say “this is hard”. He showed up at my house the weekend after I broke it off and said he still wanted to be with me. I still said I wanted to be alone. He started me really mean to me yelling at my, blowing my phone up. I stayed civil with him and was calm, even nice but he choose to just be hurtful to me. He blames me for everything and says I’m the devil for hurting him. Its been a few days and we haven’t talked but I cant help but miss him and wonder if I made a mistake I know there is more fish in the sea, but I’m really shy and hes been the only one I could be myself with. Yes we are different but I’m so hurt I’m always crying but I’m still keeping my distance..maybe we just need some time apart. I don’t really know what to do. I’m scared I lost him but there is a list of things we just cant agree on.

Chris Seiter

April 24, 2018 at 2:42 pm

Hi Brooke…I think you are right. The two of you need some space apart and that is what the No Contact period is all about. Go pick up a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”. It will help you with what you should be doing during this No Contact period and if you do want to get him back, how you go about doing it. Right now. emotions are running high and mistakes of words and actions can be made easily. He is displaying a lot of this with his outbursts. You will get through this pain Brooke. Start a journal and start writing some things down is one small measure you can take. Staying active and creating some healthy routines routines is also important. Go take a look at the ebook I mentioned (found at my website Menu/Products link) as it will serve as your Companion Guide throughout this process!
Chris Seiter

April 24, 2018 at 2:42 pm

Hi Brooke…I think you are right. The two of you need some space apart and that is what the No Contact period is all about. Go pick up a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”. It will help you with what you should be doing during this No Contact period and if you do want to get him back, how you go about doing it. Right now. emotions are running high and mistakes of words and actions can be made easily. He is displaying a lot of this with his outbursts. You will get through this pain Brooke. Start a journal and start writing some things down is one small measure you can take. Staying active and creating some healthy routines routines is also important. Go take a look at the ebook I mentioned (found at my website Menu/Products link) as it will serve as your Companion Guide throughout this process!

Happy

April 21, 2018 at 2:04 pm

i broke up with my boyfriend, cuz he was geting mad that easily…then he deleted me from facebook and skype…then i msged him trying to understand why is he acting like this..we broke up twice before this,but he never deleted me this is the first time he does that.
now, i want him back so badly idk what to do :'(

Chris Seiter

April 21, 2018 at 11:55 pm

Hi there Happy! We need to get you back to being happy!! I know break ups hurt, particularly the rejection part. Seems like he is going thru his anger stage. Have you picked up a copy of “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” yet? That is probably the best Companion Guide you will come across that will help you throughout the entire process. Go take a look at website Menu/Products to learn more about it. To optimize your chances, you gonna need a comprehensive blueprint!

vega

April 16, 2018 at 2:49 am

Hello. My ex and I of about a year broke up roughly 5-6 months ago. I was the one who broke up with him for factors that were issues within myself, between new distance giving me cold feet and a death of a family member bringing me down into a spiral of depression. I made up a reason that we should break up that I fully believed to be truth at the time, but in hindsight it was not. Our relationship was incredibly good, both of us leaning on and helping each other through a lot of rough instances and issues. I encouraged him to make some big decisions that I was really proud of him for! 6 months later, he’s all I can think about. I really think i was in love with him. And I ruined everything, but I regret it so intensely. We went no contact up until a few days ago when I messaged him again and he replied. It’s been light and amicable, and I’m happy for this, but I’m so close to breaking down and just telling him everything and apologizing. I messed up so badly, and I wish I had been someone better in the past.

Chris Seiter

April 18, 2018 at 3:31 am

Hi Vega….I know…the breakup hurt can linger for a good spell. But the past is behind us and so don’t be hard on yourself anymore. It seems you have learned from it, which is all anyone can expect. I want you to be your own best friend. It starts with that. If you like and love yourself, that only helps you in the future with him and everyone else you encounter. It is also important to have a plan…a blueprint to follow to maximize your chances of getting him back. So look into some of my ebooks resources (website Menu/Products link). It sounds like you guys are talking again and that is positive. Just go it slow and slowly ramp up the attraction. Keep everything positive. Remember, less is more. So don’t let your emotions over run you. In time you will have an opportunity to convey what your mindset was in the past, and I think he will understand.

Kelly

April 11, 2018 at 10:41 pm

Me and my ex had broken up a little over a week ago from our almost one year relationship with each other. Regardless of me being a junior in high school and him being a senior in high school, I can truly say that the both of us received and gave true love to each other. I can say that the problem between our relationship was me being a little too giving and understanding and him being a little too jealous and slightly controlling. The topic we would argue about the most would be my guy friends, but to overcome this, we would compromise and say that I wouldn’t put myself in settings that would make my boyfriend too uncomfortable and that he should be more understanding of me having friends for my social life; especially cause we’re just students in high school and our social lives are pretty important to us. However, I had decided to finally make the initiative to break up with my boyfriend because the past few weeks before we broke up, our communication had seemed off and it had seemed as if he just hadn’t loved me as much as he did and vise versa, and we weren’t meeting each other in person as frequently as we used to. Everything in our relationship seemed off and because he was going to be away from me the whole summer in two months and then go straight to college when he got back, I thought I couldn’t handle the emptiness. Our break up had ended on a good note, and it was where we both knew that we had feelings for each other but I had just persisted on breaking up. However in the days without him, I’ve realized all the faults that I have done to him in the relationship and how I could make it better if we had a second chance. I would rather go through the emptiness of waiting for him to come back then the emptiness of him never being next to me anymore. I still want to give myself time to really evaluate my feelings and make sure this isn’t a spur thought from loneliness before trying to talk to him because we had completely stopped contact, but at the same time I feel the longer I wait, the further his heart is going away from mine.

Chris Seiter

April 11, 2018 at 11:32 pm

Hi Kelly….I understand your dilemma. It is not an unusual for those going through a breakup. Just know that the future is always moving and lots of different things can happen, many of which you have not control. But you have control of your attitude and I can see from the prose of your writing that you are special and special things will happen for you, no matter how this turns out. Yes, having some space to get in touch with your feelings is always a wise choice to get in touch with your feelings.

justine

March 22, 2018 at 6:44 pm

It started out as a long distance relationship. After six months I moved in with him. After 3 months of living together he started by saying I’m not happy and go back to where your from, because I guit a job there I didn’t like. We fought about me wanting to live for free. I had no money to give. I wasn’t making what I did back home. Then his daughter beat me up, cuz he told me not to let her in the house. It all went down hill from there. The last fight we had I packed my clothes up and left. It’s been a month.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2018 at 6:05 pm

Hi Justine,

He’s toxic.. You should move on from him..

:)

March 6, 2018 at 5:51 am

Hey so I made a bold move and told my ex that I liked him again and understood if he doesn’t feel the same and he replied with “okay homedog” which made me think I got totally rejected but then again he flirts with me and try’s to show off and I don’t understand thoughts?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2018 at 3:41 pm

How long were together? When and why did you broke up?

Pelumi

February 23, 2018 at 7:33 pm

Hi
it was a long distance relationship, during my time in school, we had a conversation that led to me telling him a secret about a friend of mine…so after then, he stopped talking to me, stopped calling, texting, so after my exams
I chatted him up and was pissed
I broke it off with him
he replied and said he wasn’t comfortable with me, couldn’t trust me
I told him a secret I wasn’t suppose to
and if I could tell him such
that means I would go about telling people about his life
and I tried to explain to him
I took him as my confidante
I was really upset
and I needed someone to voice out that issue to
so he told me to change for future purposes and since then
we haven’t spoken
this happened January

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2018 at 10:36 am

Hi Pelumi,

how long were you together?

Jasmyne

November 8, 2017 at 4:30 am

Hey, I broke up with my boyfriend because he told my friend that he might break up with me because he didn’t think it was working out, and so I broke up with him. But, I can’t stop thinking about him, and I still love him but I don’t know if he still loves me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 7:33 pm

Hi Jasmyne,

how old are you both? and how long was the relationship? Are you going to try the advice above?

Holly

November 6, 2017 at 2:37 am

i need help….i broke up with my boyfriend because i felt like i was dragging him down and after we broke up he acted fine but told everyone he still loved me….and at first i didnt feel anything and then one night it all came crashing down on me of how much i love him but now i dont know what to do to get him back or if he even wants me back after what i did to him

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2017 at 8:10 pm

Hi Holly,

if he wants you back and told it to everyone else, then talk to him..

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572 thoughts on “You Broke Up With Your Ex Boyfriend And Now You Want Him Back”