Using Reverse Psychology To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

468 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back With Reverse Psychology”

Jennifer

August 11, 2014 at 7:11 pm

Hi Chris! My question is a little different from any example I have read so far and I would really appreciate it if you have time to answer me! I was casually dating a guy for a two months, which isn’t long but we had sortof an instant connection and neither of us dated anyone else. It was going so well and he came to see me (lives an hour and a half away) and we had the most amazing time. But then he pulled back. He had only split from his wife about 11 months ago and has been divorced 10ish months. He said he feels scared to get into anything serious so soon. I agreed and left him alone. We kept texting some and he came back to see me again. Again….an AMAZING time. He has told me numerous times that I am the most amazing girl he’s ever met. Bottom line is that he just isn’t ready. He told me two days ago that he just isn’t ready for what it would be between us and asked me if I would give him some time to get his stuff together so he can give me what I deserve in a boyfriend. He said he feels I am out of his league and wants to work through some stuff. I told him I wanted to give him time and didn’t want to talk for a few weeks but we agreed we still would go to a concert we planned on going to together in 2 1/2 weeks and see how he felt then. The problem is that I have been way too open with my feelings for him and he has always had the upper hand (always ending texting and phone calls first etc. He played the game quite well on me and it worked like a charm. I have come to my senses about all of this and would like to reverse the situation. I started NC yesterday but I am thinking about texting him and saying something like “I am so sorry to do this but I am having second thoughts about us going to the concert. I need some time to think about it and I will let you know.” and then going right back into NC until closer to the concert. What do you think? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

admin

August 12, 2014 at 11:54 am

Actually I wouldn’t do that. You can use the concert as leverage to get him to contact and think about you more.
Jennifer

August 12, 2014 at 3:12 pm

Thank you! So, should I just continue NC and wait for him to contact me and maybe throw in a little Facebook “I’m doing great without you” stuff? Can I be totally honest without sounding conceited? I hope so:) The truth is that I probably am completely out of his league BUT I really like him for some reason. There is just something between us that I can’t explain. But I think he is really struggling with that. I was the Ungettable Girl. He said the night we met that he just stared at me all night and kept telling himself there was no way a girl like me would ever talk to him. So I was ungettable and then he got me and didn’t know what to do. Anything I can do to make him feel less nervous about all that?

Anne

August 11, 2014 at 3:54 pm

Hi Chris,

I just have a small question, my ex broke up with me2 weeks ago but it was not a bad breakup, he said he so busy at work and so stress and that is true we had a small fight and he said he wants to talk about us in September cuz he needs space cuz he job, he is trying moving up position. On sartuday afternoon he sent me a txt saying hello cuz I didn’t talk with him or txt him after he asked for space, and I reply just with hello, late that night he txt me whatcha up too, I txt him back just saying about what I was doing, and I asked him what you been up too? And he replied me, just lonely :(, I miss you… I replied u should watch a film with me when u have a time I miss you too… But he didn’t reply me back.. I just got confused if he just txted me cuz he was bored or because he really missed me… The guys always say what they feel? What do u think? Thanks

admin

August 12, 2014 at 11:30 am

Well, you should have stayed in NC and not responded to him. If you had he would have gone crazy trying to get your attention.
Anne

August 12, 2014 at 1:19 pm

Thanks for your reply, So Should I not reply him if he gets in contact with me next time for few hours? Because despite of we are broke up we still being nice with each other but I don’t want he takes me for granted or is everything for me or nothing… Just don’t I want play games.

Prissy

August 11, 2014 at 3:49 pm

Hi Chris,

I just have a small question, my ex broke up with me2 weeks ago but it was not a bad breakup, he said he so busy at work and so stress and that is true we had a small fight and he said he wants to talk about us in September cuz he need space cuz he job, he is trying moving up position. On sartuday afternoon he sent me a txt saying hello cuz I didn’t talk with him or txt him after he asked for space, and I reply just with hello, late that night he txt me whatcha up too, I txt him back just saying about what I was doing, and I asked him what him been up too? And he replied me, just lonely :(, I miss you… I replied u should watch a film with me when u gave a time I miss him too… But he didn’t reply me back.. I just got confused if he just txted me cuz he was bored or because he really missed me… The guys always say what they feel? What do u think? Thanks

admin

August 12, 2014 at 11:29 am

Guys don’t always say what they feel… Look at actions as opposed to words.
Prissy

August 11, 2014 at 3:52 pm

I txted him, I miss you too * sorry my mistake in English

Hopeless/hopeful

August 5, 2014 at 2:18 am

I’m really starting to lose hope on my ex I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even think of me anymore I really still to like him..a lot it’s been ten months and we dated for three years and I think he just likes another girl i don’t know what to do I put hopeful up top because maybe you could tell me how to reattract him or something I really want him back.. I don’t wanna give up

admin

August 6, 2014 at 2:31 pm

Wait, youve been broken up for 10 months?
Hopeless/hopeful

August 7, 2014 at 2:40 am

Unfortunately yes… And I think there is another girl honestly chris I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s really hard to sit back and watch him walk away into another girls arms it really is I am almost positive I’m not in his mind anymore btw this girls name is the same as mine. I got a snapchat with the girl I think he likes and a friend of his we haven’t spoken in well over 10 months is it too late? Do I move on? Will he ever come back? Please please PLEASE help I can’t take it anymore!! Please help guide me in the right direction and next step
admin

August 11, 2014 at 11:15 am

Right now I know its hard to remain calm but its really important that you do.

I think the first thing you need to do is just go into NC and really work on getting him out of your head for a while.

(I know it sounds like that is the opposite of what you should be doing but trust me when I say that it will really help your mindset and actually in a weird way help to get him back.

Anon

July 3, 2014 at 3:02 am

Hi Chris,

I just wanted to let you know that I bought your “How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back” and finished reading it in one seating. I have also read most of your blogs about NC and the different types of men. But, I feel like none of those types of men applied to my Ex.

My Ex and I dated for almost a year and broke up almost five months ago. We were official and he was chased me at first. He is a gentleman. He broke up with me because he said he did not know what he wanted because he has never had a serious gf before me and everything that we did together were new to him so he wasn’t used to it. He loves to spend time fishing and hunting and he told me that he knows a lot of guys that have never been married or have a gf before so he is not opposed to that idea. The idea of being single forever and doing what he loves. When we were together, I never got mad at him for doing it and was that he was gone for the weekend. He had also taken me to do these things before and I really liked it. I loved that because it made me miss him. I used to date someone that was very committed to me and it made everything so boring.

I always thought he was the one because we rarely ever fought and he was so patient with me. Whenever we fought, we would make up right away. When I asked him if there was something I did that turned him off so that I could learn from my mistakes and he said that I didn’t do anything wrong. He also just started his own business. He told me that his business, hobbies, and parents’ divorce are the things that made him like this. I know for sure that he is not dating anyone because he is really shy around women and when I was with him, I looked through his phone (while he was there) and hung out with him and noticed that he doesn’t have any female friends. I was the only girl on his phone. No one ever cheated on anyone. Do you think I should just move on? Maybe he is one in a million men that wants to be single forever. The last time he dated anyone besides me was 7 years ago. But I feel like he was the one for me. If he is willing to have me in his life, then I don’t mind him being gone on weekends as long as I still get to see him. I think the chance of getting back with him is very slim. He also told me that he doesn’t know what he wants right now like whether he wants to be single forever or married (he’s 27 btw). I didn’t force him to get married. I just really enjoyed our time together as a bf/gf.

I am practicing the NC rule right now. After the breakup, we still spoke and saw each other a few times. What do you think?

admin

July 7, 2014 at 5:24 pm

Let me ask you something.

Are you at an age where you are looking for a very serious relationship where you could get married?
Anon

July 9, 2014 at 6:40 am

No, I don’t want to think about getting married at this age. I am 24 btw.

Anon

June 29, 2014 at 9:16 am

Hey Chris.

I was talking to my ex a few days ago and the conversation was going decent. He’s very short and neutral with his answers most of the time but generally replies within a short time frame. I brought up a memory and he gave me a gateway to bringing up more which I did, and he asked me if we are now reminiscing, which caused me to panic and brush it off, was that a good thing to do? Like act indifferent to everything?

I do get some positive reactions from him but mainly neutral and just prolonging the conversation kind of replies. But it seems like he isn’t taking the hook quite yet. I’ve used confession text, is there anything I could do to get him hooked and wanted to start the conversation with me? We’ve been on texting terms for about two and a half months now.

Also he is fairly insistent on returning an item on mine which I said I miss but don’t want back. And whenever we talk about me or about our relationship, like how much I cared about him or something along those lines, he’s very keen to talk, but never about how he felt.

Anon

June 29, 2014 at 4:14 pm

One more thing, you spoke about word count in one of your articles. His word count is generally much lower than mine, but he types long enough to keep the convo going or comment on something. I’d also like to know how to turn the tables.

Ta

June 19, 2014 at 6:29 pm

Im confused as to where I fall, I ended the relationship because of issues we were having it was a 3 1/2yr relationship with children we were getting his house ready to move into together, just I need time for myself to deal with some things I was going thru and I didnt feel like he was there for me, I had expressed this to him nothing changed so he moved to the house himself. First night he has a female over, claims she is just a friend initially I dont think much of it 2 of my best friends are males I work in a male dominant work force so..we r still talking at this point im upset I dont want the breakup but I need the space to heal physically due some injuries I sustained and side effects I was experiencing from medication I am on…the side effects r aggression & personality changes my doctor wont take me off it so he is trying to make adjustments now when I take it but I needed to just, but he moved out 5/2 that night he had that girl.over, I talk to him.later after that explaining why I needed this an di just want a break…he gets emotional and states I made it sound as if we done not that it was just a break my intuition tells me he slept with this female friend whicb upset me but I said nothing, he than flips and states well I don’t love u anymore,i dont want that with u & I dont even want to do that with u, I said ok I put myself out there told u I still loved,was still willing to work on our relationship,u clearly are not,ok, he continued to bash me further,i cut him I said u don’t have the right to gut me,i get it at least am trying I put myself out there and made the effort,he continued to attack I just stopped.talking and ended the conversation…during the move he wanted.to.keep.keys to my place. After that wanted to come help me around the house because of my injures I delined all of it I said no not after that conversation,prior to that conversation his parents came to my house telling me how he told them I was the one, he was afraid of losing me etc. Thats why I brought that up I.didnt.know he felt that way I also brought up why isnt he here telling me.this instead of his parents, they stated he wasnt good with his feelings,ok he is 37 he couldn’t express this to me…ok so his parents and I talked..I asked him about what his parents told me if it was true he didnt deny it, but told me that they were not suppose to tell me, they only told me it to be nice & try to fix things, so I asked they were lying to me? He didnt answer I said it it isnt true its a lie, he didnr deny…than literally 2wks after our split he has a onlineing dating profile up and meet some 3days after on 5/17 spends the night and now only sees ‘this person’thats how he refers to her on Saturdays, if that isnt a rebound maybe I dont know what one is…before finding your site have already cut off contact because of the emotional ping.pong I have lost too much weight I cant do it…the only thing is I got so pist with his games he has been doing all.these.changes I have asked him to do while in our relationship now that we our separated but and he is telling me about it,but I am confused because he is telling me he is seeing.this other person and he will end.up in a.relationship eventually…so I told him do not contact me anymore we will go through ur mom for childcare arrangements, take my pic off your fb the only connection I want is the one I have to have…he would be nice than cruel….so I just went.to.nothing, he wanted me to stay on.the family plan I did not I removed myself…I had to.contact him.for.that other than.that I have not contacted him and I do not and.will not….should I continue? He keeps.texting me unnecessary reasons for our daugther and its things I have told him to go through hid mother…and his parents r trying to get me to talk him and I wont..the planted pants.of my favorite color in his garden because we were suppose to move in there together, and asked about the garden 3x but my issue he is seeing this other person every weekend….so I dont acknowledged anything…or if its regarding the children I give short answers…am I doing the right thing? Is he interested in coming back? I am terrible at reading subtly u have to b e kunt with me…

admin

June 21, 2014 at 7:23 pm

What caused the breakup?

Gracie

June 16, 2014 at 9:41 pm

Me and my ex ended on good terms and agreed now wasn’t the right time to date because of space issues etc. He said we should both work on ourselves over time then when the time is right we can talk again. I admit when he was breaking up with me, i begged for nearly a week, called/texted at first but on the last time we saw each other (before i moved out of his flat) I decided to just accept and agree with what he was saying at the time and talk about the possibility in future instead. He was a lot more nicer/calmer when I acted like this.

I know he doesn’t want to talk to me for a very long time, months. I don’t know how to use reverse psychology on him (not to beg/speak to him anymore) when he is the one who will not contact me for as long as he can. He’s a patient guy (can go a long time without speaking to me even if he has feelings for me) and i know if anything, I will be the one to contact him first – i think it’s what he’s expecting. I will try not to, but what if 5 months pass and he still doesn’t contact me? Isn’t there a point where there’s only so much time that can pass before he’ll start to really not care/think about me anymore?

We agreed to definitely be friends at some point (because we get on really well and a lot of my equipment is still and will be staying in his flat for now) so he’ll have to talk to me eventually, but what if it takes toooo long? Doesn’t the increased amount of time you wait decrease your chances of getting with him again? We were together 2 years and lived together for nearly 2 years.

I am really panicked about this because I know i will never repeat my mistakes again and there is still hope because we love spending time together; there is a connection. i don’t want to message him after a couple months first in seeming like ‘i haven’t moved on’ but i don’t want to wait too long where he completely forgets our good qualities together.He is an emotional guy but logical on what he needs to do with situations. Any advice? 🙁

admin

June 17, 2014 at 8:34 pm

So, you lived together pretty much the duration of your relationship?
Lou

June 18, 2014 at 8:09 am

Yeah we did. I moved into his parents house 2 months after we started dating and have been living together in different places since. Any advice? I know he needs his space but what if he takes too long to talk to me? Do i speak to him after 3 months NC? does that sound adequate?

Gabby

June 15, 2014 at 2:32 am

About a week and a half ago, my boyfriend of nine months broke up with me after our senior ball/prom. We had had a great relationship; holidaying together, being able to talk about anything; we loved each other. He always told me (and his friends apparently) how lucky he was to have me as his girlfriend, and according to his friends he always talked about me.
His reasoning was that he felt he was too young to be in a committed relationship (I was his first serious girlfriend and we’re both seventeen.), and that we had nothing in common (we’re both gamers, we both love animals and want to be vets after high school- basically we have a lot in common, so I didn’t believe this for a second). He said he loves me and cares about me, and that maybe we could get back together sometime in the future. I’m not sure if it was just me but he seemed a bit confused.
The breakup came out of nowhere pretty much; the week or so before he was asking if I could come skiing with him in a couple of months when the season starts and he and I had made plans for the semi-distant future. The week leading up to the breakup he was acting a bit distant. He was pretty upset during and immediately after the breakup.
I made a couple of rookie mistakes the first few days, being shocked and upset and confused; I replied to his messages, un-friended him on Facebook and then accepted his friend request a few days later. However after the first few days I came across your site and tried to carry out the No-Contact rule as best as I could.
In the time since then he’s messaged me saying he misses me, and messaged me about one of my Facebook pictures getting 100 likes (silly I know.) He’s also been the first to like any photos and statuses I’ve posted since then, and in general has been the first to message/ make contact.
The weekend just gone I injured myself playing football and ended up in the ER. He found out about it and messaged me multiple times; “Are you ok????”, “what happened?//” and after I didn’t reply instantly, “???????”. I replied to that, but I’m wondering if I shouldn’t have.
Two days ago, I deactivated my Facebook account temporarily; I decided it would make it easier for No-Contact. Later that day he messaged me on Skype asking if I had blocked him. This made me think that perhaps he had been engaging in stalking my Facebook profile- lol.
Since breaking up, one of his friends that I’m quite close with said he’s been miserable and sour, and that he said he actually doesn’t like being single. He also got extremely drunk the day after we broke up (he said it was because he was upset- and he doesn’t tend to be an emotional person) and left a voicemail on my phone.
I’ve done some thinking about what we could have done wrong in the relationship and have come up with a few things; too much texting, not enough physical time together, maybe an afternoon per week (we go to different schools; him to an all-boys school), and I’m guilty of perhaps being a little oversensitive and clingy at times.
At this stage I want him back. I was wondering what your take on his behaviour is, what you think he’s thinking right now, and whether you think there’s any chance of us getting back together. Thank-you!
Lisa

May 21, 2014 at 2:40 pm

So the guy I have been seeing for the 5/6 months just broke up. Everything came to an end when when I brought up the word “boyfriend” word not thinking much of it. Next thing I know, he’s telling me he’s not ready for that serious of a relationship (he’s starting a new business) and that he can’t make me any promises and is able to provide for me. Unfortunately I had already fallen in love with him and accidentally told him so during our break up conversation. This blew my mind since in our relationship he was always initiated contact, he asked me to be in an exclusive relationship, he was constantly telling me how perfect and amazing I was and rushed to my side spend every free minute he had to spend time with me, brought me flowers, cooked me dinner, spent a ton of time with my friends, did a lot of work in my house for me. I’m so confused.

I know normally women are the ones who are emotional and needy but during our break up, I didn’t cry, he did. In our relationship I always maintained myself, remained independent and it took me a long time to open up to him. Over the years I mastered the art of being remaining “cool” with men. I don’t try, it just comes naturally. During our break up, although I confessed my love, I can’t help but question if I should follow the no contact rule. He told me how strong he thought I was and was thought he couldn’t hurt me.

Should I not contact in hopes he regrets what he did and feels the loss? Was I being too cool and didn’t give him enough girlie emotional stuff? Was everything he did with me the whole time a big lie? Should I contact him and give him a little more vulnerability or is the fact that the boyfriend and love thing scared him away a HUGE sign?

Pleas help!

admin

May 22, 2014 at 3:38 pm

Wait, are you saying that the two of you were never official?

Chrissy g p

May 17, 2014 at 6:24 am

So.youve read my long posts before. Update:he asked to hang out this week.though clearly still w this new girl that is in a near living situation(she has keys to his place that I gf of almost three yrs never did) day after our breakup. She may be on vaca..etc.told him my possible days available and he could try calling me and I will see when I’m free. (Prob shouldn’t have agreed but whoops)Deleted all his contact from phone so I would ensure not to break down and call. But the weirdness of worry however,shouldn’t have any because of us being over still kicks in.set me straight Chris.

admin

May 20, 2014 at 8:42 pm

I don’t know, Its a little suspect that she has keys to his place when you never did.
chrissygp

May 21, 2014 at 1:38 am

Soo…whatta do? I know for fact he was not seeing anyone til thatclast month or two..we were always together.any advice.should i callvhim forcthat meet up not directly saying but say hey if he mentions it again then agree or leave be bc it is feeding his ego…
chrissygp

May 22, 2014 at 4:24 am

What should i do?
Chrissy g p

May 20, 2014 at 3:59 am

Forgot to mention: he texted me after a cordial convo and him initiating idea of meeting up.thinking of you..then texts two min after apologizing for that text that he was drinking and would TRY not to let it happen again.i called him immed after that telling him not to send those things and he said he would love to catch up sometime and apologizes for that text..he sounded completely sober enough to clearly verbalized this…??.? He hasn’t called yet to meet up.obviously should let it be, Something is on his mind..let it marinate? What do u think is going through his mind? We also got caught again at three consecutive red lights.road closures to one route from interstate home..sucks..lol please lend advice and set me straight Chris.love your posts and would greatly appreciate feedback.

Martha rojaaas

May 16, 2014 at 8:01 am

When my ex and I broke up on January he was crying saying he would always love me , yet right the next day he acted like he never cared so we didn’t talk for like 3 weeks then after he would message me for any excuse .. But he would get so uptight and awkward while he had random conversations … Any way we had over a month with no messaging cuz I only message if he does first .. So he messaged me for a lame excuse then started a conversation and mentioned that he heard I been hanging out with his guy friend , then I mentioned another guy friend and he asked me if he was my “special friend ;)” … Do you guys think he’s jealous? Or maybe he has realized he lost a good woman? Or em I over reacting ?? He has always been immature and full of pride so maybe he might be hiding his feelings ?? He recently posted on his twitter that he has a “special friend ” .. Should I just move on?

admin

May 20, 2014 at 6:53 pm

A “special friend?” Seriously, on twitter.

Violet

May 15, 2014 at 3:35 am

I don’t know if my boyfriend is ignoring me because he is completely moved on and wants nothing to do with me or because he is hurting and misses me. I broke up with him. Okay I admit I did act a little controlling :/ And would freak out if I thought he was flirting with another girl, but only because he would gawk at girls in front of me and had a list of all the girls he slept with and pics do random girls I knew on his computer. it made me so paranoid. I was the first gf that wasnt a one night stand. And apparently I “changed” him. He has done a lot of things that would make me feel insecure. Like I wouldn’t be acting crazy if he gave me reasons to trust him. But I didn’t trust him. and he won’t admit that it’s his fault the relationship had problems. he gets mad that I fear him being alone with girls, but he is the reason! Ugh. I want him to be loyal but he doesn’t act like it. And I am not usually like this but he makes me crazy.

admin

May 15, 2014 at 2:17 pm

…. well, then I think you had every write to be upset about that. Guys who keep lists like that one are usually bad news.

Nata

May 13, 2014 at 8:28 pm

Chris, I know you suggest that we don’t talk about break up when we first meet. But I know he will kiss me as he says he wants me like crazy and he seems pretty excited. I miss him too, but I don’t know what should I do? If he doesn’t say anything about getting back together or trying again should I say something? I just don’t want to do all the things and then feel disappointed and hurt at the end. We don’t do sex, but we do some other stuff that I don’t want to do with him until I know what he is thinking. I don’t want him to feel that we are talking and hanging out as we missed each other and he wants to kiss and etc… What’s your or other people’s advice? Please help!

admin

May 14, 2014 at 4:00 pm

You could always shorten the NC period to 21 days…

TINA PHAN

May 12, 2014 at 8:01 pm

me and my ex are pretty good friends and he is still close to my family! we have been apart for 5 yrs. i tried another relationship but didn’t work out because I’m still in love with him! i know he still loves me and last year moved out of state so he would not see me in the other relationship! but he’s a man and will not admit it!!! i have tried to convince him to get back together and gotten know where! if i bring up the past when we were together he says he don’t want to talk about it that it hurts to much! and if i push the issue he will not talk to me for weeks! so how do i send texts to stir up the memories if i know it will make him to stop talking to me! why would talking about the past hurt so much and why did he have to move to be away from me, when he has admitted to my mother that he still loves me! when i bring up the past to his face tears comes to his eyes! please how do i approach this situation????

admin

May 13, 2014 at 4:40 pm

Have you just had an honest talk with him about any of this?

Nata

May 11, 2014 at 5:37 pm

Hey Chris,

I am so confused. As I told you I did my first attempt which was good. I waited another 10 days and emailed yesterday saying,” I think we met last year this day, I just remembered. it’s funny we didn’t last even a year;) lol”.

And ended there. It was yesterday 8pm and he didn’t reply to me yet:( was it a bad text? I reminded him our meeting as it was special and we both loved the Beijing out relations. I just wanted to remind him, hope I didn’t sound desperate. ???? What do you think ?

admin

May 12, 2014 at 6:37 pm

You brought up the relationship way to fast I think.
Nata

May 12, 2014 at 8:31 pm

Hello, some good news!
He replied and we talked the whole night. Today he texted me and asked to do lunch. I said that can’t, already promised a friends this that.
I don’t want to be too excited, but it seems good. I have a graduation ceremony on Friday( graduating from law school) if he wants to come what should I say???( the problem is that some of my friends may be there and maybe my father, and they haven’t met him). Thanks Chris a lot. You are a nice guy! Will be patient and see what happens )

Jennifer

May 10, 2014 at 2:52 pm

At the end of my NC would it be okay for me to contact him and ask him to meet with me so i can return his things as an excuse for him to see that i’ve changed somewhat(different clothes a bit of make up etc) and i also do want to make sure that hes deleted some embarassing and important pictures of me. Would that do anything to make him realize that he really lost me this time and want me back possibly?

admin

May 12, 2014 at 6:25 pm

I think it would be ok but actually you can break NC to get your things.

Wendy

May 10, 2014 at 5:15 am

I truley love your articles but i think it may be much helpful to me and many others to write an article about what to do after you’ve messed up the no contact rule because im sure many have messed up several times on it. And like me they are not sure what to do since it’s like i wish i can do the no contact rule right after the break up but then again i messed up and i feel like i have no more chances. And like dont een know what to do since the action of desperation has aready been done. Thank you so much for all your articles i loved them and they were so interesting. I only wished i could have done this before i made my mistakes and im not sure what i should do.

admin

May 12, 2014 at 6:15 pm

I think you are exactly right. Thats a fantastic idea.

G

May 9, 2014 at 2:22 am

Also, he tells me constantly about how much he misses our cat, and how bad he feels for the cat for having to leave him with me (temporarily), and it breaks his heart to have to be in and out of the cat’s life, and he wonders if the cat misses him or understands what’s happening.

Um… I don’t even understand why we broke up or why this is happening myself. When people ask me I’m literally speechless. I still don’t know. We were together 5 years. I was the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I thought we were going to get married.

Anyway, it makes me feel like worthless garbage when he says all of those things about the cat like I don’t have feelings and like I didn’t get hurt too. He does it A LOT. I want to tell him, but I feel like he’ll turn it around and make himself the victim. Should I?

admin

May 9, 2014 at 3:40 pm

He is probably looking for a way to reach out to you without seeming needy and the cat is the perfect excuse.

Although he also could be doing it to kind of make you hurt.

Has he been a little vindictive when you two have had arguments before?
G

May 13, 2014 at 3:32 am

Really?! I thought he was being an insensitive idiot.

No, he’s never been vindictive towards me. He’s very nice, and considerate in everything except this.
admin

May 13, 2014 at 5:00 pm

Well ya, he is being that too haha.

G

May 8, 2014 at 12:12 am

Chris, thanks for all of the hard work you put into creating quality content for us! Sometimes when I feel hopeless about the breakup I read your guides because they help me realize that my ex did/does care for me, and that he hasn’t just forgotten about me after 5 years together. I haven’t really tried to get him back because I’m afraid he’ll realize what I’m doing and get mad at me for being manipulative. He’s a good man, and I believe he’s my soul mate, and I never believed in soul mates before him. He dumped me 7 months ago, and the profound sadness and loneliness has worn off. I’m moving forward and happy with my life. But deep down I really, truly miss HIM. Sometimes my friends who are all married and have never experienced a serious breakup are very condescending and say things like, “You don’t miss him, you just miss being in a relationship.” I want to strangle them! I do really, really miss him. He was my best friend.

I sent him a text last week to ask him a question and he responded with a phone call. The call went well, and I ended it early. We had another good, but not-as-interesting, phone call, which I ended early today followed by a couple of texts, which I ended first. I actually haven’t done any of the desperate things listed above. I’ve never outright shown interest or said that I wanted him back, but I feel like I’ve appeared desperate enough at times. He’s not a normal human being, and doesn’t usually fit into any of your categories (I’m not saying he’s super human or great, I mean he’s weird). He will spot an attempt to manipulate his behavior or thinking before I even make it. I’m almost paralyzed because I feel like there’s nothing I can do, but every part of my being tells me its wrong to walk away.

As a (completely non)desperate and confused woman, and an entrepreneur I have this to say: I would pay for a one on one conversation with you. Have you ever considered offering this service?

Anyway, should I just give up on him?

admin

May 8, 2014 at 4:34 pm

I have considered it but the truth is I don’t have the time to do it at this point of my life.
G

May 9, 2014 at 1:33 am

So what should I do?
admin

May 9, 2014 at 3:38 pm

Be more specific for me. What do you want advice on specifically. General advice I can’t give you. Give me specifics.
G

May 13, 2014 at 3:49 am

So, I typed this long question, and then I think I might have figured out while I was typing what your answer might be. I’m going to check out your guides on phone calls, and see what I come up with. Thanks, Chris!
admin

May 13, 2014 at 5:03 pm

🙂
G

May 15, 2014 at 3:58 am

Don’t freak out… but he sent me a completed unsolicited video of a cat today. I’m trying not to read too much into it, and just take it for what it is, but that’s a huge shift in his behavior, and it makes me happy.

Thanks, Chris. Have a good one!
admin

May 15, 2014 at 2:18 pm

A cat? Hahaha seriously?
G

May 16, 2014 at 5:50 am

Yeah, the cat saving the little boy – it was all over the news yesterday.

Anyway, I told it was funny and then I sent him a link to magazine article that was written about me and was published yesterday. I’m not going to lie, it might be the most impressive thing that’s ever happened to me. He never wrote back, but I didn’t even have time to think about it because my website was blowing up from the article, and I got even more amazing news about my business today (I own several businesses that’s why I’m always telling you should charge money for different things. I can’t stop thinking about growing businesses even when they’re not my own).

So, I was like whatever, don’t care if emails me or reads the article. Then randomly he texts me and wants to come see our cat in 30 minutes and give me $ for his food and medicine. So I say “No, I have so much going on right now, come by later.” Because I did I was making business deals with people in Los Angeles (YAY!), and also our cat had just peed all over my desk.

When he finally gets to my house I’m on the phone with my business partner and we’re going crazy because we’re so excited, so I just kept talking on the phone and let him, and went back to my office. Then I came up after a few minutes and say hey to him, and told him all of my exciting news. He was super impressed and excited.

After he left I called my business partner back so we could finish our phone call, but within 10 minutes he was calling me on my cell, and he said he had thought of some ideas for my business, so I told him I was on the phone with my business partner so she could hear them. He told us they ideas, and then I said thanks and I had to go. Then a few minutes after I got off the phone with him he sent me some texts about it. I was on the phone with my business partner for over an hour, so I could respond right away. When I did I told him we were going to use one of them.

So, he looked really good when he came over, but honestly I can’t tell if I still have feelings for him or not. It’s been 7 months and this is the firs time he’s been interested in me or friendly. I waited 5 years for him to marry me, and in the end his family and EVERYONE including both of his mentors were pressuring him to marry me, and I think he just panicked. Now, I kind of feel like I don’t even know if I have the energy to try again. Like I don’t think I should have to try. I don’t want to convince or manipulate him into being with me. I’m moving forward in life, and I’m happy, and honestly I think the only way I could ever get back together with him is if he just manned up, and asked me to marry him. I don’t think I need to prove myself to him as worthy. I am worthy. Even his sisters who are terrifying wanted him to marry me.

I think part of me will always hope that he’ll come crawling back to me – I think that’s why I’m telling you all of this because I’m hoping my fantasy will come true, but I don’t think I’m going to do anything else to try to change things between us. If talks me I’ll talk to him, but I’m not going to actively plan or pursue him. If he wants me he knows where to find me, right?!
admin

May 20, 2014 at 6:45 pm

Awesome. Congrats on your website blowing up.

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