416 thoughts on “The Definitive Guide On Getting Your Ex Husband Back”

1. 

   Crystal

   September 23, 2013 at 3:27 am

   I think the reminding him about making a mistake will have to come way later. He has barely spoken to me since leaving close to 3 months ago, but today, he sent me several emails wanting to come get a set of racing tires. I explained to him that since he filed for divorce that we can’t divide marital property until the divorce is settled. He showed up anyway causing a scene and yelling at me. I told him it was sad that he seemed to care more about those tires than our marriage, and he said that he did care more about the tires. Right now, I’m trying to figure out why I’d want the jerk back! He really didn’t used to be this way until that job came into the picture.

1. 

   admin

   September 24, 2013 at 2:17 am

   Ah relationships in a nutshell.

   Just know he really didn’t mean the tire line. Though it was a jerk move to say that. He is just angry.

2. 

   Crystal

   September 24, 2013 at 3:34 am

   Lol it wouldn’t surprise me if he did actually mean what he said. He’s shown absolutely no emotion since leaving, other than trying to play the victim. He’s divorcing me, but he tries to make me feel sorry for him. I just don’t understand how anyone can walk away from a long-term relationship and not care.

3. 

   admin

   September 25, 2013 at 12:37 am

   I think deep down he still has to care for you. Unless he is not human….. In that case we better call the government.

4. 

   Crystal

   September 25, 2013 at 2:29 am

   Looking up the number now… 😉 I guess my game plan is to start no contact after the divorce is finalized & see what happens. Hopefully, he’ll realize what he lost, & I’ll have already moved on by the time he does. Who knows what the future holds

5. 

   admin

   September 26, 2013 at 2:33 am

   That sounds like a good game plan. Please keep me updated I am interested in your situation.

2. 

   Confused person

   September 21, 2013 at 5:00 pm

   Hey, wanted your advice. I was with a guy for 6 years, we split up cos our families didnt approve. I broke up with him. We still talked for a year. I realised I missed him and wanted him back and chased him for a year. By this time he’d already found a girl he wanted to marry. I started crying over the phone when he told me this and he was like whats wrong honey. So he got married and we had no contact for 10 months. I got in touch and texted happy birthday. We started texting, he told me he was gonna be a dad soon. We met up after a few weeks of texting and we slept together. Hes now had his baby. He told me he doesnt love his wife but having the baby will change him. We’ve kinda texted since he came to see me and has had his baby but it’s been really short normal messages. Where does that leave me? Do I just leave him and his wife to it? Was he just rekindling things to spice up things before the baby came along?

1. 

   admin

   September 21, 2013 at 11:32 pm

   I think you should leave him and his wife to be. I mean if he is married that is kind of a tough hurdle to overcome.

3. 

   Crystal

   September 19, 2013 at 4:15 pm

   I am currently going through a divorce after being married seven years. During the separation, I tried reasoning with him, and then I tried no contact, but my husband still filed. He has told me that he is no longer in love with me, and he knows with certainty that he could never love me again. (Keep in mind that the reason he wants a divorce is for “arguing, no common interests, and because I’m boring”. This is literally what the papers say.) I think he has that grass is greener mentality at the moment, and I’m not sure what to do. He wouldn’t have married me if he thought I was boring, and if we had nothing in common, and I am still the same person. It’s almost as if he has shut off all emotions. I love him, and I don’t want a divorce, but the divorce process isn’t pretty. How do you show someone that you can work things out when you’re in a legal battle with them?

1. 

   admin

   September 20, 2013 at 9:31 pm

   Hi Crystal,

   I am sorry that he said those things about you. Lets make him eat those words.

   Your question is admittedly a tough one to answer. I think the best thing to do at this point is let the process unfold and attempt to reattract him later.

2. 

   Crystal

   September 20, 2013 at 9:44 pm

   Thanks for your response =) We got married when we were both 20. Do you think it’s possible that he feels like he missed out on things because we did get married so young? I mean we celebrated our 7 year anniversary on a Friday night, we spent the day together on Saturday, but Saturday night he left at 9:00 supposedly to go to a friend’s for a short time, but then he didn’t come home until the next day because he got drunk and passed out. He has never drank due to the fact that his dad and stepdad both have drinking problems, and he has never stayed out all night. I didn’t yell at him when he got home, I simply told him that he couldn’t be married and continue living a single life, and that’s when he left and said he wanted a divorce. It’s almost like he’s going through a mid-life crisis at the age of 27…

3. 

   admin

   September 21, 2013 at 11:42 pm

   Being married at 20 is very young in my opinion. I can’t imagine myself being married that young because I was so immature so you may be on to something there.

   Usually mid life crisis’ come later in life. However, it just sounds like a guy who has no clue about what he wants right now.

4. 

   Crystal

   September 22, 2013 at 1:13 am

   We did get married very young, and sometimes I wish we had waited. We had our share of problems during our marriage, but nothing that couldn’t be resolved with better communication and compromise. I noticed that our relationship started going downhill when he took a new job about 2 years ago. He started making more money, hanging around people that had money, etc. His boss constantly bought him expensive man toys and wanted to hang out with him all the time. After that, it seemed like I couldn’t do anything right in his eyes. He never wanted to spend time with me as he preferred to hang out with his boss and co-workers. It’s like he suddenly decided that he deserved better. Oh, well. There really isn’t anything that I can do about it at the moment. People keep telling me that he’ll eventually realize that he made a mistake, but I’m really not sure that he will.
   By the way, you might find Michelle Weiner Davis’s book The Divorce Remedy an interesting read. She refers to the male mid-life crisis as an anytime crisis, and she says it can happen to men in their 20’s. =)

5. 

   admin

   September 22, 2013 at 11:32 pm

   Thanks for the book recommendation. I am always on the lookout for more information.

   So, his boss seduced him to the darkside eh?

   He may not realize that he made a mistake until YOU remind him. But you have to remind him in a certain way.

4. 

   Ashley

   September 19, 2013 at 5:06 am

   Oh Chris, please help me out! I contacted my boyfriend today on day 13 of no contact. I ruined it, I know. 🙁 I was doing fine up until I went on a date yesterday and it was such a fail. I missed my boyfriend terribly. I am absolutely convinced that he’s my soul mate. I love him more now than I did a week ago. I am no longer angry at all I just love him so much. I called him today once and he didn’t pick up and then later tonight I freaked out and called like 5 times. And I left two voice mails. One said that I went out on a date with a cute guy but that it made me miss him and that today I kept missing him and I definitely sounded sad. And then the next voice mail said to just please call me back. (I know he won’t) I am SO SAD. Did I ruin everything?? No contact makes me live him more!! And the dating definitely was the worst mistake. I was trying so hard to move on but I am so in love. What do I do? What do I say? I want him back! I’m thinking about visiting him after 30 days. Just fly and surprise him. Start 30 days over again. (It’s SO hard) And then fly and visit him. (We’re long distance. That’s why we broke up.) Did I ruin everything with my calls? He was probably about to get sad and I made him feel like he still has me, huh? Aw man…. I miss him so much. I love him so much. I’m drowning. 🙁

1. 

   admin

   September 20, 2013 at 9:29 pm

   Well, have you read the LDR post?

5. 

   Allie

   September 18, 2013 at 7:17 am

   Woo hoo!! I haven’t finished reading it all, but so glad you addressed their mindset post divorce (even though he divorced someone else, we were basically engaged since I got pregnant-just trying to figure out moving 700 mi away before it fell apart).

   1-Could the major life change of my getting pregnant & him deciding that he should move out here (he’s NEVER lived anywhere except his tiny hometown in the Styx) been enough to make him CRAZY & STUPID? The guy I met & fell for was a “good” guy…now behaving like a kid that’s just gone off to college for the first time & behaving differently than how he was raised (his BFFs description!! Even he sees it!).
   2-do these folks ever get their head screwed on straight again? I totally get that people change over the years…I have. But if they do a total 180, is there a shot they could come 160 (haha) back?
   3-the part about it always being our fault ticked me off. Not at you…at men!!! WTH?!?! So the question is…even if they KNOW that they share in some of the issues that caused the split, they won’t admit it to us & just lay 100% of the blame at our feet?? Are they in denial, or they really recognize their failures & just won’t admit it to us?? WHY NOT??
   4-so based on your dating story, a guy will instigate a fight just to stir up crap for his own good time, damages the relationship , then put 100% of the blame on the chick?!?!? I know…they’re idiots, but this insight is helpful from you. I can’t fathom doing anything like that, so I was in shock.

   Night from your Seiter Sister!! Thanks again!

1. 

   admin

   September 19, 2013 at 2:45 am

   I am so glad you commented on this! I love talking to you :).

   1. A light bulb just went off in my head for something to write about in the future. Maybe a lot of different changes in circumstances can cause a man to leave just to get away from the craziness. I can understand that. Sorry I am brainstorming out loud here but your first question just made me think of something.

   2. Yes, I think there is. The divorced friend of mine who hasn’t dated in 6 years has told me that he actively WANTS to date again and try again but he is just too afraid. While it is not a change it is proof that he wants to try and wanting to try is the first step to trying haha.

   3. Yea, every single divorced man I talk to when their ex wife isn’t around always tells me what a b8tch she is and that whole story. The truth is that I know deep down they care for their exes very much they are just putting on a show to cover up that fact.

   4. It was a horrible thing for me to do to that girl. I actually think about that from time to time. Just starting drama for the sake of spicing things up. I knew it was wrong as I was doing it but I still couldn’t help myself. I was an idiot and I am not afraid to say it. Something you said was interesting to me though “I can’t fathom doing anything like that.” I remember the ex girlfriend I did that stuff to said the exact same thing haha. I think her and I were just at different places in our lives. She was looking for something serious and long lasting and while I wanted the same thing deep down I didn’t have the emotional maturity to pull it off.