How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule- A Comprehnsive Guide

1,046 thoughts on “How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule”

Ash

July 17, 2016 at 2:30 pm

So I started my nc about 2 days ago after staying in contact with my ex a month and half post break up. And she sent like 5 mesges so far nothing important other than coupl of selfies and general text. Didn’t respond to any.. The twist is her mom just texted me saying the flowers I sent before are beautiful that they decided to grow a couple in the house garden( sent those about a week ago) ( very rare flowers I had to ship from Europe to Canada)
The question is do I text back the mom or ignore her too? Please need quick answer

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2016 at 10:16 pm

Hi Ash,

actually, it’s ok to.ignore that for now.. because it looks it doesn’t need a reply.. does the mom always text you?

Ariel

July 13, 2016 at 12:38 pm

Hi! My bf and I broke up after a month into LDR. He initiated it after we had a fight, and also probably due to me being too clingy and needy >.< I started NC right after, and I am 13 days into it now. His birthday just passed and I didn't wish him, instead he posted an ambiguous status saying 'always XX', XX being a pet name he gave it to me. My birthday is coming up in a few days, I was wondering if I should reply if he wishes me? Or continue with strict NC? Thank you for taking time to reply!! 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016 at 6:12 pm

Hi Ariel,

nope continue in in nc but more importantly be active in having a new routine and improving yourself

Aaddee

July 11, 2016 at 5:17 pm

Sorry for long post.
Have same question. Still lost and don’t know what to do. My long distance girl friend of 10 months broke up with me immediately after abortion. It was unplanned pregnancy and decision to abort pregnancy was hers. I begged her not to do but she decided herself. I was abit mad at her after her medical abortion but Only one day but then I accepted it and tried to help her. I Infact told her that now get serious and make relationship official. She was happy and said u proposing me. I said not on whatsapp but yea on the way .and I booked holidays trip for us so she can forget this abortion. But 3 hours after this she said she wants to end the relationship and that night she blocked me on WhatsApp fb etc. I wrote her letter, sent flowers coz I thought may be she just emotional due to abortion. But nothing from her. 3 weeks after that I managed to talk to her through a friend. She sounded fine with no regrets of abortion or break up. She said she has decided to end with me and I don’t have choice. She likes me but no love and she dont think that i m the guy with whom she can spend whole life. She unblocked me from whatsapp but I went for no contact for 10 days with hope she will calm down and we will go for our holidays. After 10 days I called her to know if she coming for holidays. She said no. Going with her friend. So all I planned wasted. On call she sounded very sarcastic and behaving like nothing happened and all decisions she made is because of me. Laughing at me and saying things which really hurts. I was speechless to hear all that. So I said ok enjoy your holidays and if u see the way back then come back. After call I texted her that u never said bye to me. Why ? She immediately texted Bye with a smile sign. Next night she unblockdd me on fb and added me on instagram. I am on nc since then (3rd day now) I don’t know what to do. After all this . Do I want her back. Yes I do. Will she learn from all this and serious about relationship. Don’t know. May be she will never grow up. Need advise because I do love her. Just hope she will be back and hopefully slowly slowly we can work on our relationship.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 1:30 pm

Hi Aaddee,

do 45 days first… let her be and be active in improving yourself..let’s.hope she realizes everything

Marcus

July 8, 2016 at 6:08 pm

Hi,

My girlfriend just broke up with me two days ago and it’s not the first time. It’s probably the third or fourth time, actually. Usually what happens is I text her or call her shortly after trying to tell her not to do this and we end up getting back together. But this time around she told me not to contact her and leave her alone and so I intend on doing so. It is hard not to want to text or call her but am I doing the right thing? I do want us to work things out for good but I feel as if she is taking me for granted and thinking I will always be there if she decides to want to fix things.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2016 at 12:16 pm

Hi Marcus,

start active no contact.. improve yourself and focus in yourself only.. how long was your relationship?

Sara

June 30, 2016 at 11:36 pm

On day 8 of NC and me ex’s birthday is coming up (it’ll be on day 12). I will not contact him, but I’m afraid he might contact me..wondering if I still care. (background info: he broke it off, but still loves me and I love him…other outside factors influenced the break up)

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 1, 2016 at 5:11 pm

Hi Sara,

what other factors can be greater than love?

Tina

June 29, 2016 at 2:53 am

I know you have probably millions of comments to reply to, but I had a comment I wrote on a different site about 2 weeks ago and still have gotten no response. I have been checking the site and it seems I am still the last one to have left a comment. Is the site still active? But my situation is I broke up with my ex 2 months ago. We have been on and off for almost 3 years. This last brake up we have been having sex still and I am trying real hard to do this NC. I keep messing up. For now I have been on NC for 8 days but he keeps texting me. Besides the obvious reason of his texts, I get his mail sometimes and he asks me for his mail and he needs to pick it up. So I don’t know what to do about his mail. And besides the mail, when we are together, we have a great time. He brings me things, we laugh and he spends the night every once in awhile (which he said he would never do). he says he does not want a relationship and he makes comments on facebook that hes still single, posts pics of him and other women and he has his eye on another woman but she is from another country. So maybe he means just not with me. I am very confused.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2016 at 4:21 pm

Hi Tina,

sorry for the late reply.. you have to stick with no contact.. just tell him being friends with him doesn’t work for you right now but of course he can still get his mail and then be proactive in building your own life

HG

June 26, 2016 at 6:03 pm

Hi, I asked a question yesterday. I am not sure if it got through or not!

HG

June 29, 2016 at 4:57 pm

I gave it while we were together, because i knew she wouldn’t be here with me on her birthday. What would you suggest I say to her on her birthday (which is tomorrow)?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 1, 2016 at 9:30 am

nope.. don’t message her..that,’s not allowed in nc too
HG

June 29, 2016 at 5:36 am

Yes, I havent texted her ever since we last met. Her birthday is tomorrow and I already gave her a present.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2016 at 4:31 pm

you gaveit before nc? start to be active in improving yourself now
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 28, 2016 at 11:26 am

HI HG,

sorry for the late reply…nope, you’re not unreasonable.. are you in nc now?

CONFUSED GIRL

June 26, 2016 at 2:35 pm

Hi,

I wrote before a month ago ( we’ve been together for a year) and you said I had to restart a NC again. Today is the 30 day of NC. I havent’ seen him or heard about him for a month. I had few dates, not so successful. I managed to bring my life to one piece again, graduated and got promotion at work. I still miss him and I’m not sure what I want but I would like to see him. Today I texted ( that I found something that brought some fun memories, made a joke about that and asked him how he was doing). He replied with a joy , I think. He said he is really happy I texted, asked me about the details of my life, about the problems that I had. We had a quite chat and then I said I have to go. He said “ok, we’ll chat another day”.

What is the next step of contacting after NC? I’m not sure if he is with that girl anymore, no one has seen him with her for last month, I don’t want to mess with someone happiness ( if he is still with her maybe he is really happy). To wait for him to contact me?

Thank you in advance

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 28, 2016 at 12:40 pm

Hi Confused girl,

check this out for texting tips: Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Hmm.. be friendly at first, when he’s comfortable enough, you’ll know if he’s dating somebody else.

HG

June 25, 2016 at 9:19 pm

Hi,
We broke up because she is going away to her home country after doing half a semester. We dated for 4 months and shes going away for 2 months. First she said she wanted to be friends during this time and put a pause on this relationship because we might fade away due to miscommunication and time differences. But I asked her again and she said that all her high school friends are going back home too and they will party and she might end up doing regrettable stuff. So she would rather break up now and get back together when she comes back so she doesnt hurt me.
I said that if she leaves me now then I would not get back with her when she comes back because she is choosing “potential fun” over me. She said that she will win my heart again when she comes back (she asked me out initially).
Our last day together was 2 days ago. I slept over and our last message was when I got home. No one messaged after that. Her birthday is in 5 days. I already gave her gift when she was here. Would you recommend I wish her happy birthday or not? Also, am i being too unreasonable to not want to get back?
Jess

June 22, 2016 at 11:13 am

Hi,

My ex and I just broke up. We care about each other and promised that we would be there for each other. He is introverted and may take my NC as a slight and resent me for it, especially when he needs me when his health problems act up. Do you have any advice for this type of situation? I don’t want to break my promise, but I still want to try these methods to get him back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 22, 2016 at 11:24 am

HI Jess,

how long were you together? why did you break up and does he have anyone else to take care for him?

NM.

June 14, 2016 at 2:23 am

Hello,

I have been in NC with my ex-bf (I was dumped) for almost 2 weeks now (we dated for 2 months) but happened to see him for the past 2 days due to our mutual friends gathering (we share the same friend group that we’re really closed to and the group hangout on almost weekly basis). During the hangout he talked to me a few times due to unavoidable situations but I only replied once and avoided eye contact and ignored him at all cost (I acted happy and upbeat with other people in front of him though). Furthermore I’m sure I can’t avoid seeing him for 30 days straight due to the mutual friends we have. Will this affect his mindset and my chances during NC? In addition he was the one to initiate a 2-month NC for me to calm down (according to him I was desperate and too emotional that I wasn’t logical of what I was talking about during the break up) and for both to have some time for self-reflection. He had blocked me on all social media platform and when he unblocked, I sent him friend request and he deleted them all. Am I in an unfavorable position right now?

Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 11:55 am

Hi Nm,

if you can not go to some of the occassions in the mean time, don’t. If not, go late and then be distant.. treat every occasion as a chance for you to show off your new self

Melissa

June 13, 2016 at 9:47 pm

I keep restarting the NC but always seem to break it. We been on and off for 9 months now and I know something has to change because I’m emotionally exhausted and beyond tired of his crap. Even though he wouldn’t commit or agree to move back in together we were doing okay, hadn’t fought in a while but I confronted him because he started calling and texting less again and this time he didn’t contact me for 2 days, when I did my ex said he think we should cut ties and that I was psycho. I haven’t replied since and it’s going on day 4. I live in Orlando and yesterday was the gay bar mass shooting.. I hadn’t heard from him until after the shooting.. He sent me a text saying this..”Not trying to get a response but hope you’re okay, I know you and your friends like to go out” (I hardly go out anymore but he always had an issue whenever I did). Anyways I’m wondering if I should reply or is this a test text? Please help, I don’t have family in Orlando anymore and only stayed back because of him..

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 2:12 pm

Hi Melissa,

how are you now?

NM.

June 13, 2016 at 1:00 am

Hi team,

I have been on 2nd week of NC (I was dumped) but happened to see my ex-bf the past 2 days due to some of our mutual friends’ graduation. He had blocked me on all social media platform (he unblocked after but when I sent request he deleted all of them). When we gathered with our friends, I tried to act upbeat and happy as best I could but still ignored him at all cost, even eye contact. He talked to me once or twice (forced to due to the then nature of the situations) but I only replied once and avoided eye contact during response. I don’t know if what I did was right (ignore and avoid him) and if I should avoid all future encounters until NC is over – which is hard to do because our mutual friends and us are all really closed and we almost hangout on a weekly basis, even attending the same college. I once caught him looking at me during the gatherings and we crossed eyes once, but I’m not sure if I’m still too sensitive and emotional unstable that I’m over-analyzing him.

Thank you,

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 11:55 am

Hi Nm,

if you can not go to some of the occassions in the mean time, don’t. If not, go late and then be distant.. treat every occasion as a chance for you to show off your new self

Alexander

June 12, 2016 at 5:24 pm

How would a guy go about this? Would it be the the same way as the article states? We broke up once and I broke the no contact rule to get back together with her because I do love her and didn’t want to see her suffer. It went okay for about 2 more months and she broke up with me again. Because, I didn’t text her for a whole day. She said I was picking at her and annoying her at times aswell.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 11:05 am

Hi Alexander,

yes, this applies to guys toi

JT

June 9, 2016 at 4:27 am

Hi Amor,

I’m about 2 weeks into NC and a bunch of our mutual friends and my ex are getting together to celebrate a special occasion. I was invited but I’m wondering if I should avoid it altogether to prevent any possibility of negative interactions with my ex. I’m doing well in the healing process but am unsure how I will react to seeing him. I also don’t want to feel like my ex’s presence should dictate what I do and where I go. I’m a bit torn. Would love your input on this. Thanks so much!

JT

June 14, 2016 at 6:17 pm

Hi Amor,

Thanks for the reply. So funny addendum, my ex didn’t know I was coming and brought a date (casual from what I’ve heard), whom I met briefly (and happily). He now wants to talk and seems distraught about the situation, but I don’t think it’s to ask for me back or anything like that, maybe just to apologize? 3 weeks into NC. Should I just ignore him for a week until NC ends and then address it, or reply now to him with a polite rain-check? Does this also mean I can’t use the normal texting strategy to end NC?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 5:46 pm

hmm.. I hope you didn’t reply.. but if you did, how did it go?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 12, 2016 at 5:42 am

Hi Jt,

sorry for the late reply.. First the vacation, it’s better if you text him first and test the waters if you can build rapport before telling him about being in the same place.. and is the event with your friends over? if you’re unsure how you would react, it’s better to avoid the event for now or arrive late so you can go home quickly.

Victoria

June 6, 2016 at 2:11 am

I have recently put this no contact rule in motion. What do I do if my ex texts me during the 30 day time frame? Do I engage or do I ignore him and risk ruining the relationship even more.
Jennifer Lehmkuhl

June 5, 2016 at 3:03 pm

Hello! Will someone please answer because I’m not sure what to do in this situation? I’m currently in the 2nd week of NC, 5 months pregnant, and have done well. My ex boyfriends birthday is tomorrow (June 6th). He texted me this morning and asked if I would at least send him a pic of me and the belly for his birthday. I don’t know what to do. Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 5:06 am

Hi Jennifer,

How are you now? Are you in speaking terms?

Christelle

May 31, 2016 at 2:29 pm

Hi Amor.

I have had this crush for nearly 8 years now. 8 Years ago I met this guy, and we had immediate chemistry,it was love at first sight. But what I did not knew at the time, is that he just broke up with his serious girlfriend. Anyway we saw each other a few times and texted alot…but no relationship. Then he got back with his ex, and I was crushed but moved on with my life. Then they broke up again, and he contacted me again, and he said that he is in love with two women at the same time. Then the story repeated itself again. They got married, and now are going through a divorce. After 4 years of seeing me and having no contact at all,he looked me up via Facebook, and then did some digging for my number and then contacted me. I am still in love with this guy – and I know – I am always just probably an option for this guy and not a priority…but I have had feelings for this guy for 8 years, and I know deep down he feels something for me to. I do not want to be this guys option, I want him to realize that I am a priority, do you think the NO CONTACT rule will help open his eyes or maybe just mine?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2016 at 9:10 pm

Hi Christelle,

Oh that’s hard. If he really isn’t serious, he will stop. But if he is, he will realize your worth.

Olivia

May 31, 2016 at 12:51 am

I have an very weird situation with my ex, we are married have been for over 7 years. We have 4 kids, I still live in his house, and he lives with a controlling new woman, who now after we were only separated for a week or so he and her are now in love, but I know its not real he is miserable and I can tell, but I know u have something about NC with kids but, I’m going out of state for a month with one child and he will have the other kids. So I’m not sure how the NC will work for me. I know he love me but this woman has money and owns her own home she is more stable. I actually moved overa 1000 miles away to be with him, I have no family here, so I’m going back to family to find my self again, I have spent the last 3 years losing weight and started wearing make up, dressing up. But I know in order to fix my personality and depression I have sunk into I have to go back to family. I am scared with him moving so fast with her that he won’t miss me or not really even care I’m gone. She pretty much controls is every move texting him constantly when he is not with her and doesn’t want him spending anytime with me. She is changing the man I fell in love with, I really hope he wakes up from all this. But since we separated we never stop having sex, so he loves us both. She doesn’t know we are still having sex. And he and me have been a lot stronger since we separated and I know he loves me way more then he loves her but I can’t get him to see what she is doing, he has to realize it himself. I just feel they are moving way to fast and my kids are involved. I see him everyday, but I dont really know what to do since I have been doing everything, he told me he sees I am changing. I just need advice please, I want my husband back I have been in love with him since I was 17 and I’m 30 now. We have lost a son almost 6 years ago I know him better then he knows himself, but I am lost!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2016 at 5:11 pm

Hi Olivia,

you are indeed lost. First, stop the sex. Second, it means you have to do a limited contact, it means you only see and talk about the children and you focus more on improving yourself and getting to know yourself. You’ve let your world revolve around him for a long time. Now is the best time to grow. Be kind. if he initiates a talk but don’t be engaging. reply directly short, excuse yourself if you can and go out more.

Kassie

May 30, 2016 at 5:43 pm

Hi.
So we broke up probably more than a month ago. I did alot of pleading for a few weeks after the breakup which almost made him block me. Then I started to lie low a little. My ex still wanted us to be bestfriends depsite the break up. So I accepted it probably out of desperation so I can keep in touch with him. So since I accepted the friendship. We would text each other once in a while. Well almost everyday still. He still updates me with his work and stuff and keeps asking me about my day. He also asks me if I’ve gone out for dates and told me he’s totally okay with it if I was. And was also asking permission if he can too date already. Weird. We are also in a ex with benefits zone though. One time we slept together. I asked about his feelings for me. He said he was still numb. Until I found out about the NC. I started it the day after we slept together. And on day one of ignoring he txted me that night. Goodnight things and updating me with his work. Should I respond to that? Or just continue ignoring?

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1,046 thoughts on “How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule”