How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule- A Comprehnsive Guide

1,046 thoughts on “How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule”

Amanda

December 11, 2015 at 2:23 am

Hi Chris,

I bought your book and have bibled it, im two weeks into the NC and my ex has been calling and texting worried about me but I have still remained firm. im sad that he is scared he has lost me, but I never want to go through this with him again. although it was me who cheated on my 7 year relationship, it happened once and I would dare do it again. I know he loves me and has forgiven me. what should I do. should I let him know I am ok

Amanda

December 12, 2015 at 4:46 pm

Yes. I meant I would not dare do it again. Yesterday he reached out to my family seeming overly worried about me. I called him back kept it short and did not answer why I happened responded to his emails texts or calls. the fact that I responded at all left me feeling as if I gave away my power. What now?
Chris Seiter

December 11, 2015 at 9:54 pm

I’m glad you enjoyed the book and impressed that you are following it so well. I’d advise to complete the no contact before reaching out. When he asks where you were tell him you were taking some time to reflect on yourself and you weren’t talking to anyone.

When you said “it happened once and I would dare do it again.” Did you mean wouldn’t dare?

Sarah

November 30, 2015 at 5:05 pm

My boyfriend and I lived together for 2,5 years, he always said I was the love of his life and his soulmate – Then out of the blue he broke up with me, said he didn’t have any feelings left for me and that he couldn’t see a future no more. He moved out from our apartment until I’m moving in to a new place… we’ve had on and off contact. I’ve been the one texting him about emotional things and we also met up once to talk about practical stuff… he was cold as ice. He’s saying he’s over me and this is the right decision. He also created a “Tinder” dating profile 2 weeks later.
I’m moving from “our” apartment out tomorrow (7-8 weeks after the breakup) and he’s moving back in… I’m unsure how to proceed… no contact for 30 days starting from when I deliver the keys back to him tomorrow?

Sarah

December 6, 2015 at 12:51 pm

Also… that means the NO will end 12 weeks after the breakup 🙁 right now he seems happy without me..

Saxa

November 24, 2015 at 7:07 am

I’m in love with this really smart really cool guy that is not even my usual type of guy. I was always into tall, well-built, handsome guys. This guy, however, is not really very good looking at all. Very plain. I, however, am not saying that I’m hot (not trying to toot my own horn) but it is true that I get very attractive guys without even trying. But they all bore me. These days guys are too feminine for my taste and I feel more like the guy in the relationship. As much as guys are frustrating I like to feel like I’m with a guy; frustration and all. This guy that I love: I had seen him around and thought I felt him staring at me and I never really paid any mind cause he looks very plain. But, I ended up having a class with him and as soon as I spoke to him I immediately found myself falling in love with this guy. He is so real and so much like an actual guy. He barely gives me attention and while I like that about him because it’s typical dude behavior; it’s to the point where I feel he doesn’t like me like I like him even though we started kind of dating. He wouldn’t even kiss me even when I made the situations available for him to. Yet, even then, he says things talking about meeting my family and things like that. I know that if a guy doesn’t go out of his way for you, that means he’s just not that into you. I understand that. But, for him, I will do anything. And I have been. I’ve always been very popular and very cool and he can see that from my interactions with others. But, when it comes to talking to him, I lose myself. It’s all about him. I want to bring him things. I try and look as hot as I can for him. I’ll even wear button down shirts and leave them slightly open so that in the right angles he’ll see some subtle hints of cleavage. I flaunt my attractiveness to him and while I think he notices; it seems he still doesn’t like me. I’m always very cool with him. I never act obnoxious or anything. It’s just that I’m in love with him and he knows it. I just can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that as unattractive as he is; he doesn’t want me. I’ve done more for him than I have for any other guy, and when I talk to my friends about him they think I’m joking cause he’s so much less attractive than my past guys. I don’t know what to do because I still want to be with him. I want to feel what it feels like to be with someone I’m truly head over heels for. He is even aware that there is a much hotter guy expressing interest in me and is trying very hard. He knows that I’m possibly going to date him because the guy I like told me he wants only to be friends. But nothing phases him. I just don’t understand. I can’t try harder to look better because I already present myself at my best in front of him all the time. I also don’t want him to think that he doesn’t have a chance cause I get hotter guys than him. I’m so lost.
Lisa

November 19, 2015 at 4:10 pm

Chris, I`m at 47 day of NC. I deside to take more time, beacuse we break a lot of times. I`m not sure what happends to him, yesterday was his birhtday. He hide birthday date from his wall at facebook and no one wish him something. From many time he stops post anything. But he stays online non stop, I`m scared to talk to him, because don`t know his mood. Last time he was so rude. What advice can you tell me?

Thanks!
L.
Nicole

November 19, 2015 at 2:23 am

Hi Chris
My ex and I were very close. we dated for a year and texted each other constantly. We love each other and have an incredible bond but I decided to give him some space and implement the NC rule because he confided to me that he sometimes feels overwhelmingly obligated to go back to his ex wife out of guilt (she is saying she’s suicidal) and is currently in limbo between her and I. I implemented the rule and he didn’t last an hour. I’m still going strong but It’s day 3 and he’s sending flattery, hugs, kisses and hearts several times a day. do I end the NC or should I keep going? I believe he needs the space to make a decision but I don’t know if NC is the proper action for this situation. Thank-you in advance for your response.
Rosy

November 10, 2015 at 1:15 am

Hi,

I did try the NC rule yesterday since my ex blocked me from his facebook and he message me today that i shouldnt feel personal about him blocking me n facebook. He use messenger on mac to send the message . I didnt read it but was able to read it on my notification. He said his friends was checking his facebook and told him to stop talking to me. Lol Whats that ? Maybe i wasnt the best gf before but i know i did my best for him. Yes, sometimes im the reason we fight just a bit hardheadedness but its because he also dont have patience. We get along well real good and different things and when were not fighting we were the best couple. But I really dont know what to do anymore I tried getting back with him even tho i broke up with him for some reasons i was angry and fed up. How selfish he could letting me wait or giving me false hope. I dont know what to do. I dont know if i should reply or not. Or he feels so good whenever he message me Im always there to reply. Im really frustrated and it hurts me so much how this things ended. Thank You
Sincere

November 4, 2015 at 12:13 pm

My NC period of 30 day is about to end I am in day 28. Today I mistakenly dialled him and then disconnected. He called back but I did not recv. When we broke up he clearly said he was flirting and not willing to marry me. During NC I was noticing his last seen on whatsapp late night he was online. I have heard he has a gf aswell.

Please advise what to do next? will he marry me? how can I make him marry me.
Becky

November 4, 2015 at 10:52 am

Hello! I actually paid for your program about 3 years ago- same guy still! Didn’t do the no contact because I’m a sucker! Long story short Matt and I dated in High School. He was my 1st. Long story short – we lived over 1500 miles apart. For over a year we did good. Then he would come into town change plans and we wouldn’t see each other. I’d take off work and our plans would change. March 2014 we stopped seeing each other. Time to time I’d send him a text saying hi and hoping all was well with his gf- 6 months went by no contact- I was seeing someone else- still thinking of him but trying to go forward. He text me 6 months later and told me he was sick. That he wanted to check on me. Hoped I was happy and seeing someone. I told him yes- then we texted back and forth he wouldn’t talk to me- he knew the guy – and didn’t want to cause problems but he would tell me he loved me, and that I’d never have what I have with him! So then ( like many times before ) said he was moving to the same state! He did! I broke it off with the other guy and time to time we would see each other- I also drove to him he was always working ! I got tired of it and tried moving on! For 2 months I wouldn’t see him! He offered to come to me and I said no- one time I was close and wouldn’t! He told me he loved me and to please give us a chance! No I told him I couldn’t take the hurt! I ended up moving within 2 1/2 hours away from him! Anyways we were together 2-3 times a week from July to Sept- him driving to me mostly! He got sick again and waited until leaving the hospital to tell me! Anyways big fight! We just started back seeing each other- meeting half way during the week- at least once a week! When we are together! It’s great! We are great! We laugh- non stop affection ! But I can’t keep doing this! Should I just let him go? Do your program ? What! I know he cares because I’m the one he tells when he is sick! But I need and want more! We don’t argue when together and before he got sick again he would leave and later send me a thank you text!

Becky

November 4, 2015 at 10:56 am

And I didn’t move closer to him, because of him! I got a job and when he found out- he drove and stayed the night and helped move things

Taylor

November 1, 2015 at 7:12 am

Hello Chris,
I’ve been recommending your site and book to my girlfriends to help them! I feel your site and ebook have helped me quite a lot. I’m sad the texting bible was not included in the bundle I bought- I didn’t see it until afterward.

So I am on day 17 of no contact. My ex has unfriended me but not blocked me on fb after I followed your tips on using it to my advantage( all posts were positive and simply visual aids to show I am being active and happy, I even included a innocent jealousy picture of me and a guy at the pumpkin patch)
So I left behind some valuable things at my ex’s house when we broke up, to which he told me he would call me within the week to return., which he didn’t.
Today, day 17, I received a call from him before I went to work on Halloween!! I actually shouted ‘no! Why are you calling?’ And let the phone ring because I am still in my no contact period. He did not leave a message or text.
After work I went with my friend/roommate to a Halloween party and she told me Yesterday, day 16, my ex called her to ask if I was home because he had some things of mine to drop off. She said she didn’t know and that she didn’t know when I would be home. I do want my things back eventually ( I also have his house key copy) but do not need my stuff immediately and I would not have known the reason for his call unless I had mentioned it to my roommate. What does this mean?
I feel that he is trying to see me, otherwise he would just give my things to my roommate. I told her I don’t want her getting involved and that she should avoid talking to him about me because she has really bad judgment sometimes.
FYI our breakup was a general breakup.
Sara W

October 31, 2015 at 9:48 pm

Hi Chris I really need your help! I completed the no contact with my ex. he broke up with me because he said he didn’t feel the same anymore. I have a really close relationship with his mom she was my moms chemo nurse and my mom died from cancer. Today I went and visited her and she wants to still talk to me and be in my life and I went and saw her and my exs little brother was there and he texted him. My ex sent me a text saying that i’ve gone too far and that i need to stop talking to his mom or he will get a restraining order. please help i don’t know what to do!!
Chloe

October 29, 2015 at 2:30 pm

Hi Chris! My birthday is actually coming up soon, and I was wondering what I should do if my ex wishes me a happy birthday? Should I break the NC rule then or stay strong and ignore his message? He and I both have iphones with read receipts on; should I let him see that I read a message, or should I turn them off so he doesn’t know whether or not I am reading them?
Demyrah

October 28, 2015 at 11:52 pm

Hi Chris
I was just hoping you could give me some advice, I had been with my ex boyfriend for 5 months and he wanted to have a break because we fought all the time, he didn’t know how compatible we were anymore and so we took a break and then I texted him 3 weeks later asking what’s going on and he broke up with me because he felt that we weren’t right for eachother at that time, he also wanted to mature more before being in a relationship and so i agreed with the break up and why he wanted us to break up so we broke up on good terms and after all that was done, I stuck with the no contact rule, it’s been two months since we talked, there has been zero contact between us,and he has not contacted me at all either. In fact he ignores me,treats me like I’m not alive like we never had a past,like he doesn’t even miss me, he still to this point remained friends with me on Facebook but when we see eachother publicly it’s like I’m not even there,he will look at me and stuff but refuses to talk to me, he knows I’m happy without him,I have not begged him at all to take me back, I’ve done everything in order to get him back but nothing is working. Like he even looks so sad when I’m around, he his definitely not in his natural state when I’m around. I just don’t know what to do..should I talk to him? Ask him how he’s doing? Or should I just wait for him to text me first
Natalie

October 26, 2015 at 4:38 pm

Hello Chris,
I love your article, but I have a question. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend after dating for 6 months because he was too distant. He wouldn’t answer my calls or texts for a few weeks. Then again, he’d randomly call or text me as if nothing ever happened. He’d often cancel a date at the last minute, and even stood me up for a few times for his friends. I broke up with him over text. It had been so breezy that it hurt. When I asked whether he wanted to break up with me, he easily agreed and asked for us to be friends. I agreed. A few days later, I realized that I still loved him. A lot. I began to search on Google on how to get him back when I came across your article. I implemented the NCR, when he had texted me once. I had ignored it. But, 3 days before the NCR was over, my best friend had come over and had chatted with him from my account, pretending to be me. After that incident, I had talked to him a few times. Nothing personal though. I kept it as short as possible though sometimes he seemed persistent to keep talking to me.Does it mean that I have to start NCR all over again? Please help.
Broken

October 26, 2015 at 10:20 am

Dear Chris,

I started NC on 7 Oct 2015. My bf contacted me thrice via ph call in these days but I did not reply. He always sent me msg “Hi” after the gap of one week. I don’t know what does it means. He said he was just time passing with me and he got what he wanted from me so you are useless now. He started ignoring me. he clearly said he cant marry and he is committed with his cousin. seems like he is a player. He always say k he had many relationship affair with girls in the past. I cried in front of him but was so cruel. Do you think NC will work and I can get him back with real intentions.?

I really need your help. I m so disturbed and broken. and want him back madly.
Broken Heart

October 22, 2015 at 5:36 am

Dear Sir,

I am very upset. I am in NC day 17 started on 07 Oct. During first week of NC my bf contacted me via text & ph call. But I ignored. From 10 days he did not contact me. I have heard that he has another gf now. Seems he is a player he just used me. and then ditched. so will NC work on him? as I am very upset and cant even do my work. please help me what to do. I am badly in love with him and want him back. But seems he is enjoying his life with the new girl and doesn’t care about me at all.
Emma

October 21, 2015 at 3:43 am

I have bought you’re book and plan on starting it tonight. Hope It works. I am on day ten of NC. We do live together and I am so glad I found this page so I know how to appropriately answer any questions or conversation he might initiate regarding the relationship. While I understand the importance of continuing NC via text or any other means of conversation, I worry about how to respond to him if he does text and then asks me in person when I’m home why I have ignored him. Should I just say something like, “Oh sorry, just been busy”. And if so, what if continues to ask why I don’t respond to texts when I see him at home another time. I know I may not have to deal with this much, I just want to be completely prepared during NC.

Emma

October 22, 2015 at 9:14 pm

We broke up on the 10th. He had been gone for two months for work out of the country and we ended up fighting a lot during that time. When he got back he initially said that he wanted to try to work things out, but wasn’t sure that we could because something was just different. Then finally, the day before I left to go out of town with my family (a trip we had planned on him coming on but wouldn’t even go to see if we could make it work) he did tell me in a conversation that he isn’t in love with me anymore. I didn’t talk to him at all when I was out of town and got back yesterday and was civil, bubbly, but short as you recommended but broke down this morning because I realized he is already talking to another girl (from his home country where he was out of town working). I really believe he didn’t cheat, but do think this added to our break up. I do feel pretty hopeless now. He also is most likely leaving again for work to a different country, but this time for five months.

He hasn’t asked me to move out but he knows I am looking for a different situation and has said I can take my time, and that he isn’t kicking me out or telling me I have to be out by a certain date but that he thinks it would be best for both of us to have it happen as quickly as possible. And I agree of course.

I was feeling okay about it yesterday, but after finding out about this other girl, realizing he will be gone to a different country for five months, and letting my strength go and allowing him to see me from a point of weakness has made me feel like it’s pretty much impossible. It just blows my mind that you can be so in love with someone and tell them that no matter what you will make it through this two month period, then come back and have all that love gone, and have already moved on to being interested in someone else.
Chris Seiter

October 22, 2015 at 3:30 am

You can say you were really busy. When did you break up? Did he ask you to move out?
Emma

October 21, 2015 at 3:46 am

Also, I have been out of town the entire 11 days during this period of NC so have not run into this situation yet.

Broken Heart

October 15, 2015 at 7:49 am

Hi,

I am in NC day 10. my bf called me thrice and sent a msg hi I did not replied. we met on 30 May 2015. He proposed me right after 10 days and then I asked him to send his parents. He used to call and care about me a lot. always he came with lame excuses as my father is out of town or bla bla. I always trusted him. But a month ago he started ignoring me no calls on regular basis no msg and he said I cant marry as I m committed to my cousin. he said he was just time passing with me and flirting.he said lets be friends.he said he has many affairs like this you will be ok in three months. I refused and walkaway! i am so hurt as I lost everything for him and I love him madly I applied NC its day 10. he contacted me thrice I did not entertain. what to will he come back with real intentions or will leave me forever? really need your help .

Broken Heart

December 9, 2015 at 12:06 pm

Actually he always wants to meet me in private. not on public place. When I applied NC of 30 days he came back said sorry and asked me to continue. But on the other side he is involved in escorts and other girls. the thing were not like that as it was before.
A fiend of his friend sent me a whatsapp that he likes me and want to have a relationship with me. I thought my bf knows about it I told him that the person contacted me and proposed me. My bf called that person and said pls stay away she and I getting married next month. I am shocked to see his behaviour and the other side he is not serious for marriage and even he not treating me nicely.

he asked me to meet him as since 2 month we didn’t met. he asked many time to meet him but I didn’t go bcoz he only wanted to meet in a hotel room.

when I ignore him he come back. When I start talking to him he avoids me. Yesterday I seriously asked him when we are getting married he said I cant marry. and I said ok bye forever. But I so want him I don’t what to do. how to make him serious and committed to me. I am feeling like I am dying bcoz his attitude is just unpredictable sometime rude sometime loving caring. he only wants me for physical thing I think. I don’t know what to do now pls help 🙁 🙁
Broken Heaqrt

December 2, 2015 at 11:24 am

Hi,

I successfully completed my NC. Aftr NC My BF contacted me himself. I talked to him he asked me for meeting. but I did not meet. I find him flirting again so on and off I talked but seems he is a flirt. sometime he says I love u want you back. after one day he said I cant get over my ex she is not with her anymore. seems he is playing with my emotions. I blocked him again. what to do cherish in this situation? he just wanted to meet me for physical thing. that’s why I did not meet.
Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 5:06 am

How do you know he wanted to meet for physical only? Did he want you to go to his place? If you want him back I’d recommend meeting him in public. Have a fun type of date. Do not have him in a situation where it could get sexual.
Broken Heart

October 28, 2015 at 11:54 am

Hi Chrish ,

I started NC on 7 OCt. its day 22 my mf msgd me during this time and called me I did not receivee and reply.

During this time I was learning driving I updated my status on whats app he msgd me 2 days ago “‘WOW! you learned how to drive. You are growing. I did not reply. he clearly said to me that he cant marry me. If you want to have fun I m here. I rejected his offer and walked away. bcoz I have heard he has another gf he just do only time pass with girls. he is already committed to his czn for marriage. and in his family they don’t marry out of family girls. typical Pakistani culture.

I need your advice what to do in this case. will he come back with real intension to marry me.? I m feeling I am used by him only.
Broken Heart

October 21, 2015 at 7:25 am

Hi,

I did not break NC I started from 07 Oct 2015. He did not contact me from 8 9 days as I ignored his calls and msg during NC.

I have heard that he has another gf and busy with her. As he already told me that he was just flirting with me. I am so upset and want him back badly. I cant even work cant even give time to my Parents & siblings due to all this stress.

Will he come back? what is the next part of strategy ? Pls help.
Chris Seiter

October 16, 2015 at 3:04 am

Well, you are doing the 30 day one right?

I advise you get the next part of the strategy prepped during this time.

D2

October 10, 2015 at 5:18 am

Hi!
He broke up with me 4 days back. It was all my fault I think. He first refused to talk. Then Finally we ended up in along conversation. He said that he loved me crazy and I was not caring him much.. But it wasn’t true. It’s true that he loved me so much.. But I too loved him more. First he said that he don’t need me any more and finally he said okay lets be apart for sometimes and find whether we need to get back again. I don’t think no contact rule applies on us.. I know he loves me still.. But He acts as no. I started my no contact yesterday… Please tell me what to do????
Denva

October 6, 2015 at 8:51 am

Hi Chris,

I am in the NC and just sent the best friend the text message. I received negative responses by both the friend and my ex. However I did not break the NC. I am pretty much sure my ex is in a Rebound R as she and the best friend mention he is the best thing since slice bread in not so many words.

I have about 10 days left on my NC, next month its my EX birthday….after the initial contact text message and building re attraction can I buy her a Birthday GIFT?

Thank you for your assistance.

Regards
D
Cheryl

October 2, 2015 at 8:51 pm

Hey chris!

Well I’ve bought your Ebook, however I would like to ask a question. Well apparently, on the 22 day of nc, I saw my ex.

He texted me after that. Should I stick to nc or should I reply? And if I do stick to nc, do I start with the guidelines from the book?