How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule- A Comprehnsive Guide

1,046 thoughts on “How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule”

saman

June 9, 2015 at 3:15 pm

Hi Chris,
I broke up with my bf because he was acting like an ass hole. I was on NC for a month, he did call me twice but I didn’t answer his calls. This weekend is his bday and I completed my NC period almost the same time. Is it okay If I send him a Birthday text? I really liked him.

Not Chris

July 9, 2015 at 12:18 am

Did you read the article? …. plus You broke up with him, why are you NC??

Christine

June 9, 2015 at 12:35 pm

Hi Chris,

I am on day 29 of NC. I work with my ex. I broke up with him because I was doing all the work, he never contacted me & I felt I was chasing him 24/7. In the beginning he chased me, funny enough I was not really attracted to him in the beginning, but he worked his way into my heart. I admit he did get very busy in work and he is a Manager, but 3 months of chasing him wore me down. Anyway after 8 days of NC he kept popping up daily. Then a week went by & nothing. Then he called me with a work question, I had to answer then he asked me was I angry with him, I said NO and left it at that. That was 11 days ago & I have not seen or heard from him since. It feels like he is avoiding me now and I feel uncomfortable about this (only for work reasons). I am staying strong Day 30 tomorrow. Can you give me so encouragement / advice please. Thank you Chris.

Not Chris

July 9, 2015 at 12:20 am

Business is business, keep it professional, esp if it requires attention. When breaking up, I think NC is very different from ignoring, which I think you’re doing (ignoring him that is)

Maria

June 8, 2015 at 4:23 pm

I dated my guy for over 2 years. It was an on/off relationship because he kept saying he wasn’t ready for forever. I finally broke it off, he says he loves but half of him says go for it and other half says not ready and he is afraid if he goes all in and not fully ready he might cheat. I was always the one to break the NC. But I’m 10 days in and know for my sanity I have to do this. Does NC rule work for guys like this?

Not Chris

July 9, 2015 at 12:23 am

On and Off relationships when you’re the one who wants it ON 365 days a year is never a good sign. I did that to a girl, and she finally left for good… it took me 6 months to realize I did love her, but too late, she moved on…. if she wouldve taken me back, thinking back at it now, I wouldn’t of changed. Sorry, but move on.

Ana

June 2, 2015 at 1:21 am

Hi Chris!
So I’m on Day 10 of NC. My ex had texted me in the past two days saying that he has a question to ask me and that it would be great if I called or texted him back. As much as I want to text him, I know I shouldn’t. I think if it was a legit emergency then he would make it known but it obviously doesn’t come off that way. It was also weird because before we broke up he never really went on social networks like Instagram, Twitter or Snapchat. He all of a sudden creates a Twitter profile, and he looks at all of my snapchats on my story! I’m so confused and baffled as to why he’s doing this. NC has helped me throughout this breakup and I have felt so much better about myself. So thank you for everything! Hope you can get back to me! Thanks!

Not Chris

July 9, 2015 at 12:25 am

Im assuming he broke up with you? If he has an important question, he’ll just ask it without beating around the bush. He wants you to respond, so he gets the satisfaction of knowing you’re going to. Hang in there and NC it.

Mariam

June 1, 2015 at 3:11 pm

hi chris
I discovered that my boyfriend has another girlfriend by coincidence from a mutual friend and when i confronted him he cried ,said he is sorry and that he will try to make it right. i just told him to stay away from me and he was at first asking for another chance, but then he started acting like a jerk and since i was the one who ended things i shouldn’t ask or know anything about him. i still love him but i don’t think he left the other girl. i did the NC but today was my birthday and he sent me a text wishing me a happy birthday , what should i do

Not Chris

July 9, 2015 at 12:26 am

This guy is classic case of toxic… you’re his backup plan to make him feel good. Take his happy bday as a win for yourself, and keep NC.
Chris Seiter

July 16, 2015 at 6:29 pm

LOL “NOT CHRIS” I feel like I should hire you.

Nona

May 29, 2015 at 12:48 am

Hi Chris, I sent my bf of 9 months an email, and said we were done, after weeks of cold, distant, and very hurtful behavior, I felt like he was pushing right into that decision, and when I did, he was fine with it, he didn’t fight for our relationship! Which made me cry in hurt and pain, the next day, I revisited my decision, and asked for more communication, but he was rigid this time, and he gave me so many reasons why we shouldn’t be together, I purchased your program, and I’m implementing the NC rule, 3 days after he emailed me about meeting for an exchange of our stuff, had to reply, in a short and nice way, I said can’t make it Sunday, maybe another time, so he replied to let him about the best time to do do. Still on the 1st week of the 30-day NC, what should I do? keep ignoring until I feel better? or meet him and it’s just business?
Sahil

May 27, 2015 at 10:49 am

Hi Chris,
My girl friend asked me for a break from relationship and now Im in no contact period.Its been a week now and also her birthday is coming up.I would have not thought of contacted if it was an official break up.She think I was taking her for granted and that’s why she said she needed a break for some days.So I should I wish her on birthday?and if so should I call or text?
Kaitlyn

May 23, 2015 at 12:44 pm

Hi Chris,
I left you a comment yesterday, I can’t seem to find it. I really need your help.

Chris Seiter

June 1, 2015 at 10:12 pm

Whats up Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn

May 22, 2015 at 7:48 pm

Hello Chris,
I started following NC today, but I was wondering if it’ll work in my case. My boyfriend and I have been together for 14 months. He broke up with me many times it’s getting annoying. He always came back though. However, I feel mistreated and disrespected, and I want him to realize my worth.

We had a conflict last night and it ended with him saying that he wants to go on a date with someone, and obviously it was out of anger. 2 hours later he said that he doesn’t know what he’s saying or doing. I replied the other day saying that if he feels like he should go on a date he should go for it if that’s what he wants, and good luck with whatever you choose, tc.

Since then i decided to go on the NC process. He texted me 4 hours later saying where are you. I didn’t reply. 5 hours later, he blocked me on all social media, and removed my letter from his bio.

The thing is, for me to follow NC, i have to progress as well, and be around friends and go out, enjoy my life right? but he always had a rule that i can’t break, which is not to go anywhere in uni but gate 5, which no one really goes to except few. If i ever break the rule “even if we are not together” he will never want me back < that's what he always said. That is because I have an ex that he doesn't want me to see. In my case, I will see him everyday in uni, and i have one class with him.

What should i do? What does it mean that he blocked me? should i continue NC? Should i break his rules? if I break them will he want me back? Should i stay with his rules? how should i act?

I would really appreciate it if you help me out!

Thanks,
Kaitlyn

Chris Seiter

June 1, 2015 at 10:06 pm

Yes you are spot on with the NC.

Definitely continue NC. I also did write an article on if you get blocked.

Jacqueline

May 19, 2015 at 7:47 pm

I talked to a guy every day for about three months, we were intimate, went out together, I met his friends, I spent weekends at his house, etc. He has a hectic career so he’s preoccupied sometimes and on a couple occasions (literally twice) I have voiced my concern about this when it affected our relationship, sometimes a little irrationally but nothing too crazy. After I asked him if it was over, the last message he sent to me was about how much he likes me and how he wants to keep dating. I replied with a message to the effect of, I’m not going to wait forever, and he never responded. That was a month ago. I haven’t contacted him and he hasn’t contacted me. The obvious answer is to move on, and I’m working on it, but I just want him back. Hoping for some advice… thanks.

Jacqueline

June 2, 2015 at 9:33 pm

We were never officially dating… he told me he was “committed to working towards a relationship.” lol
Chris Seiter

May 20, 2015 at 2:47 pm

Were you officially dating though?

Ghida

May 16, 2015 at 6:54 pm

Hi Chris,
Sorry to bother you but im not sure if my case was mentioned altho i looked everywhere. So this is my second day of NC and my ex boyfriend texted me today making sure how i am and all and saying he was sorry and stuff. He’s probably thinking that im ignoring him only bcz im really sad… I dont want him to pitty me or anything, i just want the plan to work

Chris Seiter

May 19, 2015 at 6:19 pm

Just stay true to NC. He won’t pity you.

lessy

May 15, 2015 at 8:01 pm

Hi Chris
I’ve been doing the nc rule and did for a week. I Uninstaller Facebook on my phone and then I went online last night. He sent me funny articles and then he saw me online later while a friend and I were hanging out and told me to go to bed (it was 1:30am) I ignored it and carried on. Then stupid me I listened to someone this morning and they said “you should just reply to it and say “was up with with someone. Didn’t even realize the time” and told me to laugh about it. I did so then he replied “Um hmm”…. This means I have to restart nc again right? I hope I didn’t screw up. I’m not touching Facebook anymore. He doesn’t appear to be texting me tho. Just signs in whenever I post something on my wall.
Thanks Chris!
Isabel

May 10, 2015 at 4:33 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex texted me yesterday to wish me a happy birthday. He broke up with me exactly 3 months ago yesterday. He has a new girlfriend. She happens to be his coworker and he got together with her days after he broke up with me (not even a week). I’m debating whether on texting him back “thanks” or not. I’m leaning more on not replying at all. I broke contact with him after I found out he was in a relationship with his coworker. We haven’t spoken in about 2 months. I’m still really hurt because I have a suspision that he was planning on breaking up with me to get with her seeing how he got together with her days after breaking up with me. I guess the question(s) is: what does he want? Why did he text me? Is he trying to make himself feel better?
Demi

May 10, 2015 at 10:05 am

He’s asked to meet me (through a friend for all 3 of us to go out… 2 lads and me) – I’m like less than a week into my no contact – he left me because he wanted space as we were too dependent on each other and he thought he was becoming less of a man. He works A LOT all over the country and is completing a masters – says he hasn’t got much time for anything let alone himself. We lived together I know this is true.
We’ve been broken up since December but we lived together until March – things kept getting better and then he’d panic and pull away.

We’ve texted almost every week and seen each other around 5 times since. “activity days” like Go Ape etc.
Decided to do the no contact rule because I feel like he feels like I’m always gonna be there and is becoming indifferent to me.

I told my friend to tell him I was busy last night and he basically was like “well ask her if we can all go tomorrow…”
It’s been 3-4 days since no contact!!

He said that he doesn’t want a girlfriend right now, but when he does he can’t promise it’s going to be me.
NJ

May 10, 2015 at 9:29 am

Hi chris, so even though I had to reply to my ex for logistical reasons halfway through NC I didn’t restart NC not sure if I shouldve. But I messaged him yesterday and he replied but I didnt. Then I had a bit too much to drink and sent him a picture of a mug I bought and after realizing he wasn’t going to respond I wrote “oops, sorry wrong person, hope you enjoyed the mug anyway 😉 ” is that bad?? Did I screw it up?? Will he know I’m lying!? I couldn’t bear to be not replied to and hand the power over.
Jaen

May 6, 2015 at 2:24 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex and I have been together for 6 months and we have never celebrated a birthday together. we do however have a lot of memories together, but he dumped me it was brutal.. anyways his birthday is about 5 days before the 30 day no contact rule. is it really necessary to not wish him a happy birthday on that day, or should i wait like about 9pm and then be like “happy birthday dude, I almost forgot”? i don’t know … i even tried praying about it.
Veronica

May 5, 2015 at 3:47 pm

I am not sure why but my comment got deleted? = hopefully I know how to ask this again…
So what if he texts me and wishes me happy birthday and NC had just finished? i want to reply with thanks! but in the past i was always the one to reply no matter what.. where as he would “end the conversation” like how “ungettable girls” did by choosing to not respond to me sometimes… I really want to reply but it would be considered me once again always replying to his text… Am i reading too into this? should i just say thank you? Or ignore it and make him wonder? I dont want my two months of NC to go to waste by messing up this first contact!
Veronica

May 5, 2015 at 9:27 am

I just finished 2 months of no contact (i was text gnat before ugh)… this period ended on my birthday actually! My ex actually texted ME first with happy birthday (idk if this counts). Do I reply? Ignore? I didnt reply right away, but didnt know if i still should… and I’ve actually been swamped since my bday 3 days ago so I didnt know if a “sorry late text, I’ve been busy, but thank you!” would still be a good idea? Or to just ignore it since you said wishing happy’s arent really anything at all?

Veronica

May 5, 2015 at 9:31 am

btw your site looks awesome since the last time i checked a couple months ago!! Nice update!

Lisa

May 1, 2015 at 3:19 am

Hi Chris, my vfriend broke up with me end of Januart, he said it wasn’t working for him and he needed space. Since then he’s stayed over, seen me, hung out and I’ve got very mad/upset now he’s told me he’s doing no contact on me, he says he’s 100% done! I said this emotional turmoil he’s put me through (I’ve only managed to do no contact for a max of 4 days since the breakup) isn’t fair, I’ve been calling and texting like crazy I said I wanted to see him so we can leave it on good terms, he said he would write me a letter. Is he gone for good? I’m starting no contact for 30days now. What do I do?
Ann

April 30, 2015 at 5:02 pm

Hi Chirs, just a quick one: Should I block him on Facebook, Skype and other social media? We are in LDR, that are ways that we used to communicate everyday. I feel irritating seeing him online without talking to each other >”<

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1,046 thoughts on “How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule”