How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule- A Comprehnsive Guide

1,046 thoughts on “How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule”

Poulomi Mondal

January 2, 2018 at 3:45 pm

I am in a relationship with my ex-teacher who is 7years elder than me..and lives beside my house..for about 1.5years..we slept with each other..for 2days..gradually..i noticed he is pulling away from me..he talk less than before..he said that he is facing some problems with his work..then gradually he changed..he remain online but don’t want to talk with me if I don’t message him..i tried the no contact rule..but failed again nd again ..and when I did..it is for 45days..but he didn’t messaged me during that time..i contact him again..he replied..but..the spark in our relation is not there like before..he don’t want me like crazy,like he do before..and he made it clear we r ‘friends with benefits”..but he never stop talking with me..never broke up with me..he always want to have a contact with me.what should I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 6:44 pm

Hi Poulomi,

He already made it clear that he just wants to be friends with benefits, unless that’s ok with you, you should move on because what we get what we allow.

Connie

December 30, 2017 at 1:07 am

I am so confused! Long story short – I was in a relationship and he broke up with me because he had things he ‘needed’ to do and wanted to be single and was doing me a ‘favour’ by ending it. When we broke up I as a mess, and upset and basically made him feel guilty when it happened – saying you’re just not going to leave me alone.. The day after the break up, he contacted asking how I was, claiming he was upset, but it was for the best and I needed to accept it. I was furious and upset and wrote a huge message – he responded with you need to move on, you’re going to make yourself sick, look after yourself. I responded with ‘you’ve done me no favours, I’m doing my best to move on and I no longer want to talk about this.

Fast forward a few days of no contact it was Christmas. He sent Christmas wishes and I simply responded ‘you too’. I then purchased the Ex Boyfriend Recovery and started the official no contact. Last night I posted on instagram something positive as I’m a fashion blogger. He messaged me on instagram saying ‘good job’ that was it. I haven’t opened the message and I just don’t know what this means!! Is he supporting me ‘moving on’ ? Is he feeling guilty because of what he did? Or does he just miss me and he wants contact?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 9:43 pm

Hi Connie,

it’s common for exes to be friendly after a break up because they’re still used to talking to you.

Priscilla

December 27, 2017 at 4:18 pm

Tomorrow will be exactly four years since we dated. Abt three years into the relationship I cheated on him which he found out. And I begged him and he forgave me and we were living normal until about two weeks ago when he met this girl. I knew about the girl because he told me but knowing him I thought nothing is going on between the two of them but he later told me that he doesn’t love me anymore and that its the new girl he loves and that he has started going out with her and even slept with her. Now I want my man back so what do I do. I can’t stop begging him to take me back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 28, 2017 at 6:10 pm

Hi Priscilla,

check this one:
EBR 040: He Dumped Me For Another Girl… What Do I Do?

Maryanne

December 25, 2017 at 7:45 pm

Hello, my husband left the house two weeks ago and he has no idea what to do with his life or if we should continue together or move on (I already did the begging… and of course didn’t worked). He will go to therapy, and he wants us to go on a date once a week, and send messages “whenever we feel like”. How does the NC rule applies if he is the one sending me messages and wanting to go on dates? Should I just apply the “Me not contacting him but answering his messages?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 27, 2017 at 9:23 pm

Hi Maryanne,

Yup, you could try that..

Anusha Dwivedi

December 22, 2017 at 8:11 am

Should i reply to “atleast tell me if you are okay?” If we were best friends for a few days after the break up and talker to each other everyday?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 26, 2017 at 1:15 am

Hi Anusha,

Nope.. Your posts are your indirect way of showing that because he’ll probably check then

Sally

December 20, 2017 at 9:56 pm

I need help. I’m doing NC but will be seeing my ex at a mutual friends funeral. I haven’t spoken to him for 8 days but he messaged me once for my birthday and another time a few days later asking how I’m doing. I didn’t respond but Idk what to do when I see him. What if he confronts me about not answering his texts? How should I respond and behave around him?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 11:07 pm

just be civil around him. If he asks, tell him you’ve been really busy lately..

Rachel

December 20, 2017 at 11:04 am

I’ve tried telling him I needed space and time. And he will give it for a couple of days then misses me and starts all over again. He then says time away from each other doesn’t work so we might as well not try it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 9:04 pm

Hi Rachel,

Tell him you can’t be someone who’s also dating another person..

Rachel

December 20, 2017 at 11:01 am

I love my ex boyfriend. I want him back but every time I try to do the no contact he not only calls and texts me all day but he shows up at my house when he knows I’m home and demands I talk to him and stop ignoring him. He also lives right down the street from me. I am a single mom so I can’t go out every night only when my son is at his dad’s. (A different ex) and I’m a homebody so I don’t like going to bars but I do have fun with friends.
Fatima

December 11, 2017 at 10:38 pm

Hi.
Me and my bf started dating in 2014. Its a long distance relationship as he is in military. During all that time we fought alot and patched up. But he always took time in patching up. No contact rule had always worked on him. Either he contacts me or leaves some signal for me to contact him after exactly 30 days. We got engaged in Aug 2017 and fought alot. His parents came over and showed displeasure and all. It was nasty. Anyhow he told me that he has decided to call off the engagement. I said that I will wait for him forever and started doing the No contact rule. I was skeptical if either he’ll contact me this time or not. It was just 12-13 days past when he texted me last night at 1am asking if I had informed my parents about the calling off of the engagement. I get it he just wanted to talk to me but didn’t want to give the impression that he’s getting desperate. I replied to him that I won’t do it. My father may call him so he can tell him about that directly. And told him to stay happy and all and started the no contact again. Am I doing it right? I mean its like starting the no contact from the scratch, right? I just want an openion if he’ll contact me again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 13, 2017 at 4:37 am

Hi Fatima,

If he contacts you again..you shouldn’t answer anymore.. Because the more you restart nc, the less it can help you

Renee

December 11, 2017 at 5:30 pm

Adivse needed asap plz

I tired the NC rule twice now the first time was just to see if he will hit me back since i wasn’t hitting him up well that went horribly left i missed him so i asked him why he act like i don’t exist he replies lol i could say the same . Which seem like bull cause i haven’t heard from him in like 3 days couldn’t believe how he went so long not speaking to me especially us talking daily after asking him he tells me he couldn’t do it cause my mind isn’t in the right place which didn’t make sense because all I’ve been doing is tryna be wit him make him happy so i just left him alone . Since that day no hear frm maybe til 3 days later he sends me a text saying LMAFO i asked him why he laughing he tells me he will call me . He called me like nothing happened asked me how I️ was

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 13, 2017 at 1:15 am

Hi Renee,
Restart the count, stick to at least 30 days because the more you restart it, the less it can help you..

Renee

December 11, 2017 at 3:12 pm

Dating this guy about 4 mons in total after the first 3 months one week felt like he was distant himself I️ asked him about it time and time again til i put it to the test we usually speak every morning before work and during lunch breaks so this day i decided to see if I️ didn’t reach out would he do the day went past no contact til about 3pm i was already on the go decided to call wen i got home so i called when i got home like it was a regular day he asked why i didn’t reach out all day I’m like i was busy at work he’s upset thinking I’m lying which i was lying to him he hangs up i guess did he research and seen on my sister ig i took a picture with her the time i said i was busy so he felt like i lied . So i admit it a day or so later told him my whole point of foinf so he wasn’t with it from that point forward all he did was bring up the situation one minute he’s willing to moved forward to the next minute ignoring me so things start to pick up few weeks later I’m thinking we’re getting back to how we were so i started complaining about seeing him why he acting distant if I’m not getting all ya attention who is a lot of times he was just mute or make me seem like i was bugging til the week of thanksgiving regular week turnt to a whole new situation he started disappearing thru out the day the. Hit me up telling me he was busy blah blah just excuses , to he started going a whole day saying nothing after texting good morning unless I called to ya actually having a texting convo and he will ignore what I said and text when he felt like it so so i started to ignore him he called and we got into it i told him i couldn’t do it one minute we’re go next we’re not one minute he will tell me we gonna get back to where we were then no actions I’ll even say sexual things to lighting things up and nothing , so i decided to just fall back with the NC rule and 3 days in a cracked asked him y he act like i don’t exist he replies lol i can say the same I’m like how I’m hitting you up as always he tells me he can’t do it my mind isn’t where it suppose to be i call myself explaining to him it is with you all i do is show you ,guessing it wasn’t enough he left me on seen while we texting i think i text so many sad you mean everything texts to him that he could ignore it . Later that weekend he text me a lol i text hours later back like what’s funny he tells me he’s gonna call me he calls and out of nowhere he goes didn’t i tell you you weren’t gonna see me in a while after u done what you done I’m like yea not understanding why he mention it … so the convo continues he asks me how i been my daughter so on I’m like why the lol text he explains he seen me back on fb ( i deleted the page while we were together ) then he said I seen your picture didn’t care if it had a million likes he wouldn’t puge i explain to him i only signed on cause he ignored me he tells me he’s been acting wack cause what i had done that day I lied was wack . It had me confused cause why act like that now i thought we were gd .but he kept telling me this he’s reaction goes on mention he celabit am i teasing me about it and goes on asking why i want him he ain’t sh*t just had me confused this the first time we spoken in a week i felt like that was my chance to get my man back wen i mention moving forward he tells me we will see moving forward I’m like that’s all you can say smh , we end the convo talking about over sea car crashes and he tells me to hit him in the morning which i did text him like good morning hun (hun was a pet name we used) he texts me back about 2 hours later Gdm honey me being open I’m thinking things coming around i try to hold a convo he goes mia in the middle of it i was lost thought we were getting back on the same page i left it the whole day went passed no text back so i text hey mr petty he text back ASAP he’s dealing the cards that was dealt to him I’m like i disagreed wit him he says i don’t get it so i text back how i felt he goes idk y we talking about this we talked about this last night after i try to change the convo like how’s ur evening going he left me no reply i was so upset i told myself he wanna talk he can hit me up left it as is a whole week later he texts me 4am on he’s break to tell me we’re no longer fb friends i can log back on now i delete my page and i know you can’t unfriend a page that isn’t active so i ignored him he text back a few hours later like now you can go back to the settings you were before , now that pissed me off so I️ text back the convo was going back and forward til he disappeared again so what do i do help please!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 13, 2017 at 1:15 am

Hi Renee,
Restart the count, stick to at least 30 days because the more you restart it, the less it can help you..

salma

December 8, 2017 at 1:45 pm

hello there ☺
my ex and I broke up one month ago .I stopped talking with him for a week then we started talking as friends for the following 3 weeks.
I wasn’t clingy or anything we just talk and laugh, and from time to time discuss the breakup lightly. “it ended on good terms even tho I didn’t agree on his logic”
5 days ago and out of nowhere I stopped replying and I just sent him “anyway… you’re a great guy and I wish u all the best”
he said it back and continued texting and joking but I didn’t reply. “ouch”
the next day he sent a good night text
and the day after he called a lot and finally got the idea that Im ignoring him intentionally cause I post on fb. and he texted me asking about that..
anyway…
yesterday he called me 3 times in a row and texted me “just tell me if you’re OK”? and I didn’t reply
today I posted on fb. soooo he sent me on Facebook MSN that he has to unfriend me because my notifications keep reminding him of what I’m doing.
should I just say that I need time for myself… or should I also ignore it and get unfriended??
sooo confused rn :/
please help

thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 4:39 am

Hi Salm,

Why did he broke up with you and how long was the relationship?

salm

December 6, 2017 at 8:30 pm

hi there
my ex and I broke up one month ago .I stopped talking with him for a week then we started talking as friends for the following 3 weeks.
I wasn’t clingy or anything we just talk and laugh and from time to time discuss the breakup lightly.
4 days ago and out of nowhere I stopped replying and I just sent him “anyway… you’re a great guy and I wish u all the best”
he said it back and continued texting and joking but I didn’t reply. “ouch”
the next day he sent a good night text
and the day after he called a lot and got the idea that Im ignoring him intentionally cause I post on fb. and he texted me asking about that..
anyway…
today he sent me “just tell me if you’re OK”?
should I just just say yes I’m fine but I need time for myself… or should I also ignore it?

ps. apologies, I’m sure u got this exact question a lot but my irrational mind wants me to answer him and it’s insisting that this is a different case
thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 4:40 am

Hi Salm,

Why did he broke up with you and how long was the relationship?

Terra

November 19, 2017 at 1:52 pm

Hi
So my ex and me have been dating for the past 5 years. He broke up with me 2 days back which was a day after my birthday.
He said he didn’t Wana lead me on coz our families wudnt agree to this relationship coz I’m Catholic and he isn’t. I was heart broken and so lost..I spent the first 2 days crying and texting him…he kept replying saying that he is sorry for having done this to me but he really don’t want to be in a relationship right now.
I started the no contact rule on the third day…he texted me once saying good morning and I haven’t replied.
Im so scared that he will stop giving a f**k about me if I’m not in touch with him ..bt ik that I was clingy during the relationship and need to complete this NC rule. Even tho our families my not agree,I do think we have a future together.
Do u think even after all this he may still want me back

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 20, 2017 at 10:23 pm

Hi Terra,

Check this one,
Will My Ex Forget Me If I Do No Contact

Maddy

November 11, 2017 at 2:57 pm

Hey. So my ex dumped me 4 weeks ago today. I’ve been doing NC for about 23 days now. He texted me out of nowhere yesterday (hasn’t contacted me the whole time other than an “are you okay” text 2 days after. I still am confused as to why he broke up with me after we planned on moving in together and all that… anyway, yesterday’s text left me more confused and annoyed. (We were in a long distance relationship btw) He said” hope you’re well…I found your sunglasses while cleaning out my car. Would you prefer I sent them to ___ or ___? “ (offering the choice between my home state where I’ve been living for over a year vs state 800 miles away where my family lives. What’s the point of that question? Why not just send the glasses to my apt?! Thoughts? I’m so confused.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2017 at 1:20 am

Hi Maddy,

He’s trying to see if you’re going to reply because you haven’t contacted him for a while now..

Anna

November 9, 2017 at 10:42 pm

So my ex broke up with me a few days ago and since then I have been doing no contact. I received a text from him ethos morning (3days afterwards) saying “I hope you’re ok”
I left it two hours before I replied saying “hey, I’m ok thank you, just doing some shopping. How are you?”
It’s been a few hours and he hasn’t responded. What does this mean? I am not going to text him again and I will carry on with no contact.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2017 at 11:52 pm

Hi Anna,

that means you have to restart the count of nc..

Lisa

October 30, 2017 at 2:01 pm

Hi there, we had been together for over 3.5 years and our problems stemmed from moving too fast. After 1.5 months he quit his job and started working on our family farm which meant he moved in with my family and I. I was against this but he and my father persisted it. We would see each other all day everyday and we skipped the “getting to know each other phase” and went straight to the “learning to live together” phase. we are best friends and do everything together including our love of video games. He started teachers college in september and moved into his brothers house an hour away to go to school. He got stressed out from school and still is and the relationship stress was too much. We broke up two days ago and I felt relieved afterwards. I love him very much but we both had too much stress. He told me that he just wants to be single for bit (not to date other women but to not have the added stress on his shoulders) and he called the breakup like a reset. There are alot of factors that could determine if we end up together in the future and he said there is a chance that one day we would get married but right now its not what he wants. He is in the last two weeks of his classes before he gets moved into his practicum and is stressed out and told me he needs a best friend right now. A couple hours after the breakup and all day yesterday he was messaging me to play video games with him. I played with him but did not talk to him. I want to go NC to clear my head but he needs me right now and i dont want to be permanently friendzoned. Yesterday we ended up messaging each other and agreed we each need time to heal. We talked about in a couple weeks possibly going on a date (nothing serious, just to see if its what we really want and if it is we could date again). He believes the relationship felt forced and he wants to try to start again but he needs to be single to let the stress go away for a bit. I dont want to get my hopes up of him wanting a relationship again but I am confused. NC will help me alot to clear my mind but right now he needs me as a best friend and i dont want to diappoint him but i also dont want to be friend zoned forever. Do I do the NC or should I wait until his classes are over and then go NC? Currently I only talked to him yesterday and am refusing to talk to him beyond that unless it is something serious. Yesterday he told me the breakup hadnt actually hit him yet because hes been so busy which tells me I should be jn NC so it will and we can start healing. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2017 at 4:22 pm

Hi Lisa,

You should start nc immediately..

Tee

October 15, 2017 at 11:48 pm

hey there I’m on day 23 of no contact.
my ex and I dated for about 2 months it was awesome cos he was so sweet and treated me like a princess he introduced me to all his friends and family. But at one point I noticed he started pulling away and after a while he broke up with me and told me he wasn’t feeling that way anymore. I then found out there was another girl in the picture
He told me he had feelings for her I got hurt and cried in front of him after that I started the no contact rule. But then I broke it twice cos he was always upset that I was ignoring him. I realized replying him always got me nowhere so I started to take the no contact rule seriously during this period I started working on my self. I changed my look focused on adding weight cos I’m quite slim, cleaned my teeth changed my perfume and body wash and updated my instagram I noticed he kept liking all my posts on instagram but I never liked any of his back he would post pictures that I took of him on our first dates probably trying to get my attention. This is my problem now, his birthday came up during the NC all though during this period he didn’t bother to contact me till a day to his birthday of course I didn’t pick then he sent me a text inviting me to his party I didn’t reply, on his birthday he sent me an angry text saying “U didn’t even have the decency to wish me a happy birthday” I know he was upset some minuets later he sent another text saying “But I made sure you were happy on yours”,
I told u he treated me like a princess he made my birthday very special. I feel really bad that I didn’t reply or say happy birthday or even attend the party even when his brother kept calling me to come for it. I really didn’t want to end up in an awkward situation especially if the girl was there I never followed up on her but she keeps liking my posts on IG, plus I wasn’t ready to give up on my no contact I’m on day 23 and all this happened yesterday I feel like when I’m ready to initiate contact he might ignore me the way I ignored him or say something offensive to me. please what do I do I’m really scared cos I really still do love him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2017 at 10:13 pm

Hi Tee,

If you need to extend to 45 days that’s ok.. After what he did to you, he should be the one questioning his decency of having the guts to just invite you, talk to you, and be angry with you as if he didn’t hurt you..check this one:
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact

Marie

August 25, 2017 at 7:56 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up two days ago. It was a very confusing conversation because he brought up getting back together later down the road.
We are in the same small house church. (Only about 8-10 people in the group, and all of the others are couples) And when he broke up with me on Wednesday, we agreed it would be okay to stay in house church together. But after he left that night, I had a change of mind and realized I need to create space. We have not spoken since he left my house after breaking up with me.

I am still on the house church group chat with him and everyone else though.
How should I move forward with this? Is it ok to respond to other people on the group chat, but not him? Or should I be silent on there as well? Would you also suggest that I should not be attending our house church for the time being, as long as he is there?

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 26, 2017 at 12:51 pm

Hi Marie,

approach it like this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

EP

August 19, 2017 at 1:14 pm

Hey!
3 months after the breakup I initiated the no contact period. Its the 6th day today. 2 days ago I received really bad news about a familymember of mine. Im all alone right now because my whole family is abroad And Its been really hard for me. My ex heard about this from our mutual friend and is really sorties about me. He sent me a text saying that he knows I dont want to be in contact with him And that he’s sorry for sending me this message but that he heard from my situation. He really wants me to tell him how Im doing And If there’s anything he can do to help me or If there’s any way for him to be there for me.

My question: would responding to his text by saying ‘Im Okay And that I appreciate his offer’ break the No contact rule? will I have to start the nc over again If I would respond in this situation? It feels so mean not to respond.

I hope you can help or advise me!

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 19, 2017 at 10:00 pm

It’s ok to say that.. And find friends so you have other emotional support

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1,046 thoughts on “How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule”