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Post categories
Thompson
August 27, 2018 at 2:39 am
Hello, my girlfriend and I broke up about 2 weeks ago, I’m 17 and she’s 16. We were dating for 6 months, and we broke up because I made a terrible mistake. There was one night where a friend of her got on her phone and texted me saying I was a terrible person and boyfriend… I didn’t know it wasn’t her and I was so hurt. That same night I went to hangout with some friends and there was this girl that was there. She moved close to me, I moved away. She did it again and I didn’t pay much attention. I was just to upset to really notice, she then like started moving her hands on my body and then she moved my hands to do the same to her. It happened for maybe 10 minutes and then I stopped it… I should’ve stopped it before it ever happened. I’ve felt awful since, she broke up with me a couple days later after I told her. We have both started talking again and decide we want to give it another try because we want to make this work. The problem is, her parents know about everything and they won’t let her see me whatsoever and tell her we have to be just friends. We want to be more than friends and want to date, and I have done so many things to try and show I am not a terrible person and that I care about their daughter so much. I have tried to talk to them in person and apologize and show how much I care and how I’ll do anything but her mom won’t let me talk to her. I am considering trying to talk to her dad one on one and just really owning up to my mistake but really showing how much I care about their daughter. We want to get back together so bad but her parents are holding us back, what can I do to show them I am not who I made myself seem to be? To show them that I am a good guy who love their daughter as will do anything to make things right and make things absolutely amazing for their daughter. Thank you!
Kaddi
August 8, 2018 at 9:00 pm
Hi, my boyfriend and I were dating for almost a year. During this time he got really close to me and my family. About one month before our anniversary we got into an argument and during a heated moment he broke up with me. We cut all communication and for exactly one month I there was no contact until out of no where he reached out and apologized and wants to fix the relationship and give it another try. I still love him and have a hard time giving up on what was a great thing up until that argument. So as of now we are taking things slow and are trying to see if the relationship can be saved. The problem is that I am extremely close with my family, specifically my older brother. I discussed that me and my Ex were going to give our relationship another try and my brother is extremely against this and now has a lot of animosity torwards my Ex. I love my brother a lot and he was really there for me when the break up happened. I feel extremely torn between the two of them and really want to ease my brother’s anger but I’m not sure how to do so while still attempting to fix my relationship with my Ex. Please give me any advice you may have. Thank you.
Lizzy
March 18, 2018 at 3:34 am
My boyfriend and I dated for almost a year and then i broke up with him over small things that i soon realized were stupid. I then went and apologized and in that moment i realized that i had issues to deal with. We in turn got back together and i started going to a psychiatrist. However, i started taking this medicine that made me paranoid and had serious mood swings. Overall, i did not treat him well that month but as soon as i started taking this other medicine and i was feeling so much better, before i could tell him and show him this, he broke up with me. He had had such a stressful week that he couldnt take it anymore. So, i cut off communication with him for about 4 months and we met to exchange stuff. I thought that I was completely over it but seeing him got me thinking about how much I miss it. We met for lunch again after that to talk about things and we were acting like we used to and I was very happy. My parents and my best friend all dislike him. I want him back but I don’t wanna cause any problems. Help please!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 22, 2018 at 6:16 pm
Hi Lizzy,
What did you mean by causing problems? What problems are you avoiding?
Alexus
February 17, 2018 at 1:53 pm
I am 17 and I’ll be 18 in 6 months me and my ex are taking a break and we’re not seeing anyone else. We wanna improve on our insecurities. How would I Tell my mom who I am pretty sure would disapprove do I hide it for 6 months? Or wait a couple of weeks she said she didn’t want me seeing him until I’m 18 again but 6 months is a long time.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 19, 2018 at 4:53 pm
Hi Alexus,
She didn’t know at all that you have a bf? How long have you been together?
Lorna
December 12, 2017 at 1:24 pm
Hi. So I am only 20 years old and I have been with my ex bf for 3 years and we had a pretty messy break up. The reason was kind of petty, it was basically just a big misunderstanding. I cut communication for a month while he’s been actively pursuing me. Take note: he was the one who broke up with me in the middle of an argument. I have cried many times until one time my parents sat me down and expressed their unsupportive remarks about my ex. During the past month i have seen how sincere he was, there was even a time when he went to our house in the middle of the rain because he wanted to talk to me because he couldn’t since i cut our communication. Sadly, i was scared of whatcny father would think and say that i didn’t let him in.
I do love him and i can see that he does too. We are friends as of the moment. And i dont know how to handle this situation.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 14, 2017 at 1:56 pm
Hi Lorna,
If it was just misunderstanding, why don’t want to forgive him?
Sepp
June 30, 2017 at 7:39 am
I’m trying to move forward but want to maximize my chances of getting my ex boyfriend back. We were in a long distance relationship for a few months after knowing each other for a while, but I was and still am going to move to his country next month. It all ended in the beginning of march, quiet abruptly through message. A week before the break up he still wanted me to come on holiday with him and his family. Everything has cooled down now, I did NC but every month I sent him a causal message about something and received a pretty positive response from him. Now I haven’t sent him anything for a month and don’t want to send anything to him anymore. I’m waiting for him to initiate. Though I wanted to send a short good bye letter to his parents. Do you think it would harm my chances of getting him back? Surely they would let him know that I send them a letter. Maybe I should drop the fact that he is dealing with depressions. It doesn’t define him, yet I believe it played a major role in his sudden decision.
thanks for a quick answer! Appreciate your work xx
Sepp
June 30, 2017 at 6:34 pm
basically I’ve done NC twice now with a month in between.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 4, 2017 at 4:53 pm
So you already did two 30 day nc and after each one you sent just one message? If you improved in those and were active in posting, send another message again.. If you got a positive response that’s ok.. You can continue initiating..just use interesting topics for him
Sepp
June 30, 2017 at 6:33 pm
basicaly I’ve done NC twice now with a month in between.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 30, 2017 at 4:57 pm
What do you mean that you did nc and sent a message every month? How many times have you done nc?
Anna
June 13, 2017 at 4:56 am
Hi there,
Looking for advice. Si i have been together with my boyfriend for past 5 years. 2 months ago i found out that he had been cheating on me with someone from work. I had met this woman and invited her into my house. I had known that my boyfriend used to hang out with her..but felt trusting as he had told me when they were meeting up. Things in our relationship had become strained in months previous and i had kniwn that he wasnt happy with new move and new job but thought things would get better. He tried to tell me one night about the affair but i did not believe him at this time. I recieved a call from this womans husband and straight away believed what he said as it all pieced together. I confronted my boyfriend and eventually he confessed. I threw him out of the house and told my family and friends if what had happened. I believe this affair to have taken place for some months. He still works with her at this moment. Since the break up we have kept in contact and he has been very supportive for me. He says that its my decision what happens and doesnt want to pressure me. Lately we have been meeting uo and spending more and more time together. I am very confused about what to do and most of all i hate lying to my family. He has stated that he wants me back and regrets what he has done. There are a lot of underlining issues and im not sure what to do. Any advice would be great.
Thanks
Anna
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 14, 2017 at 3:14 pm
have you talked about your conditions for him to get back to you?
Confused
February 7, 2017 at 10:05 pm
Hi
My fiancé (and partner of 8 years) and I broke up at the end of October after I caught him cheating with a married work colleague. I have no idea how long it was going on. I, of course, am devastated but everyone around me doesn’t want me to have anything more to do with him (understandably). I did NC after 6 weeks of us being in ‘friendly’ contact after the event. I tried to remain dignified but had to cut contact after he posted pictures of a ‘break away’ which was too painful to see. He contacted me twice in NC but not in a romantic way. I completed my 30 days NC at the beginning of January but found out she had moved into his flat (after such a short amount of time). It’s changed the situation slightly and has made it more difficult to know what to do. I haven’t contacted him and it’s 2 months since I cut contact. My close friends would support me if I chose to contact him (not sure he deserves it) but would be worried. My family are totally against him (which I can understand). I’m torn between trying to build rapport again and going against my family or trying to accept what’s happened and really try and move on. I miss him desperately and his new relationship seems to have happened and progressed so incredibly fast. He doesn’t live in the same town as me so it’s unlikely our paths will cross regularly. Do I keep my self respect and try to accept what’s happened (which I am finding incredibly hard) or go against everyone’s opinions and possibly put myself in an unrequited position and suffer more pain? We were very close so it all seems quite unbelievable and I don’t know what he’s truly thinking enough to make a clear decision.
Thank you.
Confused
February 20, 2017 at 6:39 pm
It’s now just over 48hrs and nothing!! I sent ‘oh wow! Have you seen this?!’ expecting a response and then I was going to send a video….maybe he thought I accidentally sent it by mistake as there was no attachment?! Should I send that now saying, forgot to attach or just wait a week and send something completely different?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 21, 2017 at 8:22 pm
I think it would be different to send the attachment by now.. you can start a different topic in just after 3 or 5 days.. maybe just say that that was a wrong sent before starting a new topic and then you can also talk about what that message is..
Confused
February 18, 2017 at 5:24 pm
Hi Amor
So today I used the texting bible and sent a ‘have you seen this?!’ text around midday. I didn’t add the next part as I thought he would reply. I didn’t tell friends or family about it. It’s now 5pm and still no reply. I wasn’t expecting that to be honest. What should I do now? Bible says wait a week or so and try again? It’s not looking good though is it….
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 20, 2017 at 6:32 pm
if he didn’t reply for a whole 24 hours, yes, wait a week.
confused
February 15, 2017 at 7:26 am
Thank you so much Amor! Thanks for all your advice, I really appreciate it. I’m going to give it a go (yikes!). This website has been truly amazing and such a support to me in one of the most difficult situations. You guys are brilliant. Thank you so much.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 15, 2017 at 7:20 pm
You’re welcome and thank you too!
Confused
February 13, 2017 at 11:06 pm
None of my family believe I should ever have anything to do with him again so I can’t tell them how I would like to contact him. If I did follow the texting bible would I follow at the same pace of text messaging bearing in mind I think he’s still with ‘her’. It seems quite a lot of messaging straight away and it’s almost 4 months since I found him with her. I know they’re trying to protect me which is why I feel guilty doing this behind their backs.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 14, 2017 at 6:44 pm
tell them the truth and just accept their reaction..That’s just how life is. If you dont want to feel guilty, be honest.That doesn’t mean you have to agree with them.. oh nope, it might take longer than the normal pace of texting..check this one too:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)
Confused
February 8, 2017 at 10:40 pm
Thanks Amor. I have the texting bible but I don’t want to lose my self respect by texting him if there’s no hope. Part of me feels he doesn’t deserve it after he treated me so badly, the other part wants to try but is fearful. I guess I was asking for advice whether you thought it was foolish of me to try as you hear so many situations on this website and I wondered what you honestly thought I should do…message or move on? I don’t mind brutal honesty!
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2017 at 11:54 am
for me, it depends on why he cheated on you.. if you want to see if it can be rebuilt, start over as friends. If you feel you’re betraying yourself by trying, then dont. You have to think about what you really want because if you keep being unsure, other people will keep imposing on you on what they think you should and should not do
Confused
February 8, 2017 at 6:23 am
Hi
Thank you for your reply. That’s the problem, I don’t know what to do. What would be your advice for someone in my situation?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2017 at 1:09 pm
do you want to build rapport? If yes, do that. initiate contact and then slowly build rapport. Check this:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2017 at 12:31 am
Hi Confused,
they want the best for you but it’s your life..You have to do what you want to be happy or to learn and grow..
Angelica
January 23, 2017 at 8:42 pm
Me and my ex are 24 and we were together for 6 years. He broke up with me back in august and he’s already dating someone new. (He told me the last time we talked right before new years eve.)
We have 2 mutual friends. One is 25 and unfortunately I told him last week the really long story of the events that happened between my ex and i after our breakup since I know that my ex didnt tell him and how I’m still upset about it. Now our friend doesn’t support me in attempting to get my ex back since he says I deserve someone better and tried to talk me out of trying to get him back. Should I tell him that I’m doing great now and try to use reverse psychology on him and thank him for talking me out of trying to get him back or what should I do?
Our other mutual friend is also 24 and has been friends with my ex and I for 10 years. I haven’t been able to get in contact with him but when I do, I’m not sure if i should tell him the whole story. I feel like I should since he’s known both me and my ex for years and he knows all about the long history and past drama with my ex and i (we first got together when we were 14), and my ex is much closer to him and I am also. I’m also still pretty confused about the way things ended between my ex and I and about some of the things that he told me and i would like our friend’s insight on it and what my ex might be thinking. I also would like his advice on whether my ex is worth trying to get back with after everything that’s happened. But I’m also not sure if i should tell him since im not completely positive if he’ll fully support me in trying to get him back.
If we do get back together, it can only be through the help of our mutual friends since my ex blocked my phone number, I have no social media, and absolutely no one else supports me in trying to get him back.
I’ve been doing NC since new years day. I have no choice really since he blocked my phone number. If i do try to get him back, I’ve decided that I won’t do it until he contacts me first. (If he ever does. I know he won’t any time soon since he’s happy in his new relationship and I didnt take our breakup very well at that time. I annoyed him a bit). I have no other way of contacting him. Im not sure if he’ll ever try to contact me again even though he said that he still wanted to be friends, that he still cares about me, and that I’m special to him and he’s just giving me time to calm down or if I annoyed him to the point of no return. I know that i have to show him that im a completely different person and that will take at least a few months to maybe the whole year.
It would be good to know that I have the support of our mutual friends and that they can give information to him about me and my changes when the time comes.
What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 24, 2017 at 12:57 pm
Hi Angelica,
If you really want to show you’re not chasing him, don’t involve your friends. Just thank the other one for his advice and stop asking for him. You don’t have to reverse psychology him. If he blocked you because you annoyed him or he’s protecting his new relationships then that means he just needs to see you’ve moved on. You can use your friends but not in the way to ask them for help. Do it nonverbally. Ask them to go out or have coffee just to catch up with each other. When they see you’ve improved and not all about your ex anymore, that will reach your ex once they meet up.. If they don’t meet up, then take a photo together and if they’re mutual friends, your ex will see that post. Keep your posts public too, so when he gets curious, he’ll see your posts even if you’re not friends.
brianna corrigan
January 17, 2017 at 5:48 pm
my names brianna and i’m 15 and two days ago my boyfriend and i (well now ex) broke up and he gave me about 50 different excuses and honestly i have no idea what’s true and what’s not. the first reason he gave me was that my mom was making our relationship difficult and he couldn’t handle it anymore, that it just wasn’t worth it anymore, another reason he told my friend was that he “just wanted to be single”, and another reason was that he lost his virginity while we were dating to another girl/kissed another girl instead of hanging with me. but then again he tells me he doesn’t know who he wants and that he doesn’t wanna see me with another guy. i don’t know what to do because i really do love him bc he’s my first love, aka serious relationship bc today was supposed to be our 4 month. i really wanna try to fix our relationship and maybe we just need a break but he won’t even talk to me (he leaves me on read) or if he does it’s a few words then he will say “Bye.” he won’t even talk to me about anything or if he still has feelings for me and i don’t know how to get him to talk to me. these past two days he used to be afraid of my best friend but now that we’ve broken up they’ve become buddy buddy from the looks of it, like he still wants to keep in touch but doesn’t want to show it. honestly i have no idea what to do, and i’d really love some help.
brianna corrigan
January 17, 2017 at 5:52 pm
also i’ve tried telling him we could fix our issues that my parents have of him because of the first impression he made by lying about his family bc he’s ashamed bc his dad and mom aren’t good role models and i tried talking to him about just talking to my parents and showing he’s a good guy. that’s part of the reason i believe that we broke up bc he’s afraid to do that.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 17, 2017 at 9:10 pm
Hi Brianna,
do you want to try the no contact rule?
Ashlyn
December 25, 2016 at 10:13 pm
Me and my ex both really want to get back together but I’m with a guy and my mom and dad really like who I’m with. I’m willing to break up with who I’m with to get my ex back. My parents do not like my ex and do not want me having any communication with him… what should I do? If I do it behind their back I would get into so much trouble. I’ve tried setting down to talk to them about it several times but they just don’t seem to understand how I feel about my ex. What should I do? Please help!
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 28, 2016 at 4:46 pm
Hi ashlyn,
I have to ask first, How old are you?
Maria
December 22, 2016 at 2:49 pm
Hi! So I’m a bit on a backwards situation to what this site says… he wants to get back together with me.
My bf and I were together for 2 years. I am 5 years his senior (I’m 29, he’s 24) and the relationship was overall good. He’s a bit of an introvert and alienated my family and friends with this behavior. When he broke up with me he said it was because he wasn’t in love with me anymore and could never even consider marriage. He showed up a year after and now he says that he was very depressed when he made that decision and that now he’s been going to therapy. That he does eventually want to get married and that he wants to give us a second chance. I want to give him a second chance but my family is against him, especially my mom. She thinks I’m worthy of someone better but I want to give him a chance (I have a VERY good and open relationship with her). It’s difficult to see things clearly when my mom is so disappointed. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 27, 2016 at 11:54 am
Hi Maria,
your parents wants the best for you but they’re not the ones who’s going to live your life.. They’re not the ones who’s going to be happy being in a relationship with him nor the ones who will learn a lesson if it doesn’t go well..it’s your life.. own up to your choices whether it’s good or bad
Stephanie
November 9, 2016 at 5:02 pm
Hey! I was with my ex for a year and a half, we never had any issues, until the day he broke up with me and all of a sudden. He started to spend more time with his daughter and then eventually did start to date the mother of his child. Until about a month ago when he came back to me apologizing for ever leaving me, and that he learned so much about how amazing we where together. My parents use to love him but now that they know what has happen between us they do not want me to have any contact at all with him and I am still madly in love with him. I do not know if i should have him sit down and talk with my parents or if we should continue to talk and when things become more serious then bring our families back into the picture.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 12, 2016 at 5:45 pm
Hi Stephanie,
How old are you both? Talk to your parents, if they don’t approve, respect their decision. And what do you value? If you really value your parent’s opinion on this, then listen to them and move on. If you think they should give him a chance, then you have to be patiend because you can’t force how they should be feeling about him.
Hayley
October 20, 2016 at 6:17 pm
Hi. I am 19 y/o and my ex & I are the same age. We dated in high school& early college, so a total of close to 2 years. however, we did split for a couple months because my mom/parents made us break up. We of course didn’t accept that and when I went away continued dating, more long distance, but with visits and when I was home I saw him. We ended things because we simply weren’t as in love and with the pressures of my family not liking him it didn’t seem worth it. Shortly after he got in a rebound relationship, left her for me, and then went back to her after I told him to during a bad argument. They are now broken up and we are on good terms and friends. The feelings are mostly gone. I believe they can come back, but my problem is that my family still hates him. My mom saw that I followed him on Instagram and got mad. She really hates him. Partially because he was a typical asshole @ times and partially because his mental health wasn’t the best and at times he acted poorly in relation to it. No abuse, just basic immaturity. How do I show my mom that even being friends with him is okay- -& if it leads to something more great. But I’m not necessarily expecting it to. I know we can work but my family is a huge huge issue. What can I do. Talking doesn’t really help- she thinks I’m being naive and that I’m letting my feelings for him cloud good judgment.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 22, 2016 at 3:03 pm
Hi hayley,
you just have to respect her opinion.. Tell her you understand her and thank her for looking out for you but if this is a mistake, you have to make it to learn..
Sarah
October 15, 2016 at 11:57 pm
This is somewhat long, so please bear with me.
I was with my ex for almost two years. In fact, we are a month away from our second anniversary. So much has happened in our relationship, so many arguments and so many tears. A lot of it was heated and a lot of it happened in front of his family and my family. But, I will start from the beginning. For the sake of the story, I will
Before I was with my ex(Drake), I had a two-ish month thing with a friend of his (Dick). I broke up with Dick, and he harassed me over and over. Dick would show up to my house and walk right in when I was alone, he would show up to Drake’s house when he knew I was there, and he would call and text endlessly. I was scared of Dick. Within the month span of me breaking up with Dick, I got drunk once and he assaulted me while I was blacked out, and he forced me to sleep with him several more times. Drake was there and knew about all of this, and it hurt him and angered him greatly. He asked me if he could confront Dick, but I knew Drake would get upset because Dick was the kind of person that was “never wrong” and in Dick’s head he and I were in a relationship when he r-ped me. I said no, and Drake never got his closure.
Dick moved to a different state, and a few days after Drake asked me out. The first year was hard. We fought over what happened with Dick. He asked me why, if I still cared, etc. and I was so confused. I wasn’t even admitting to myself that it was happening when it happened. I told him that I loved the guy (when I didn’t), and I also told Drake that I thought about him as my escape with Dick was doing his thing. We fought over it so many times, we’ve been off and on so many times. We’ve both said hurtful things.
Drake tried so hard to make the relationship work. So so hard. We would break up and get back with one another within a week. He’s so good at communicating and I’m not good at it at all. I’m finally accepting what happened, but I don’t know if it’s too late. I admit, I go crazy at times but I had started meditating and whatnot. It’s been a week since we broke up and he found out an old friend of mine (who’s a guy) dropped me off home. We’ve argued about it. He came over to my house today and he hit the side of my house. My little brother got involved and told me that if I ever get back with Drake again, he won’t speak to me.
What to do about Drake? What should I do about my brother?
How can I get both of them to understand that I want them both in my life?
I know my ex and I will get back together, we love each other too much, but I don’t want to lose my brother over this issue either.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 17, 2016 at 9:55 am
Hi Sarah,
why didn’t you report the incident to the police? You should report it. Your brother is just angry.. just let him cool down and then explain the situation to him
Leti
October 12, 2016 at 5:45 pm
So my ex and I were dating for a while but he just wasn’t ready for a relationship at the time. Recently we started dating again after being broken up for a little over a year. At first I didnt want to restart our relationship because I was afraid of what my family would tell me, in particular my sister who I currently live with. So I decided to tell them a little lie but now that lie keeps getting bigger, they know I’m dating again but they have no idea who the guy is. I don’t know how to bring it up and tell them who he is, they know I’m happy with him but I feel like some of them will disapprove of my relationship. But I don’t want to keep lying to them, I want them to know through me that I’m dating my ex again, rather than them finding out through someone else and then being more disappointed that I didn’t just tell them. Please help me out, how should I tell them? I want to let them know sooner than later.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 13, 2016 at 9:57 am
hi Leti,
You just have to really say it.. Dont make it a big deal so that they dont make a big deal out of it.. Like, for example if you’re having a drink while having a funny chat with her, just say
“actually, name is the one that I have been seeing lately!”
if they understand say thank you if not, just assure them that whatever happens it either will be a lesson you have to go through, part of life or a happy ending
S/D
October 12, 2016 at 3:19 am
Well here is the situation: My ex and I are trying to come back together but we don’t know how to tell people we are trying to come back together. Taking in consideration that we wouldn’t like to make it public yet, what should we do or say to the people that asked if we are back together again? Even if we want to talk about it and go out together. Should we tell someone? Should we say we are not back together? or should we just ignore the outliers?
S/D
October 14, 2016 at 1:27 am
But what should we tell our friends/ family while we are trying to comeback together? If we don’t want to make it public yet, nor say that we are already back together.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 14, 2016 at 4:06 pm
dont make a big deal out of it, so that other people wont make a big deal out of it.. just say it causually that you got back together.. If yore not doing anything wrong why hide it? You have to develop a thick skin and just learn to accept that other people will always give their opinion.. That’s their freedom but it’s your choice if you want to be affected by it.. It’s one thing to listen and asses what they say, it’s another thing to let how you live be affected by it..
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 12, 2016 at 9:59 am
Hi SD,
why does their opinion matter?
Veronica
October 9, 2016 at 3:11 pm
Hi I’d like to ask how I should explain to my friends(and eventually family) the reasons for me getting back with my ex. I feel like even though I tell them my point of view they still won’t listen yet they are all very important to me, and so is he.
We met and got together on a showchoir performance tour when I was 15 and he was 18(with my parents permission. He came over to my house and asked for permission to be with me). In the beginning people were happy for me but for him people didnt think it’d last simply because I seemed too young for him. Later on when he graduated from high school and moved on to performing in college he used to get teased a lot because he was dating someone underaged. Throughout it all we still believed in our love and did our best to ignore those who didnt support us and embraced our mutual friends who did. Later on in our relationship we started arguements, usually about what we can do about our bad habits; me with my anti social ways and indecisiveness and him with his slight anger issues. We stayed together for a year and two months before an event happened where I felt abandoned neglected and alone and he just turned it against me saying it was my fault for not going over to him and for not being social enough and for me to stop being so awkward. This led to me looking back at our past arguements and this event and thinking that things will never get anywhere because he can’t understand me and we can’t seem to communicate well enough with eachother so I broke up with him. There was and endless supply of tears on both ends but it seemed that he was doing just fine a week later having blocked me on all types of social media and going through his default getting over an ex routine while I never got over him even after not communicating with him for 6 months. Later on I first contacted him and asked how he was doing, eventually leading up to can we be friends.? Just friends? After breaking up he was crying and pleading with me not to leave him and if we could even just stay friends but I knew it would hurt too much to do that but 6 months later I felt maybe we could and after talking through it, we slowly and cautiously became friends.
He did tell me that he was surprised to me reaching out to him, but that he still cared for me and was glad to hear how I was doing. We started talking again a bit more and more, like starting fresh. After a month, we started to hang out a few times and maintained a close yet cautious friendship. I remembered all that I felt for him before, and loved it and loved him from afar. Time passed and after months of being friends I guess he started realizing his feelings for me too and we talked about how we made one another feel and how we think it’d be okay to be together. I am now 18 and he is 21, and there are much less barriers than before, less circumstances and obstacles to overcome. We want this now, we are happier than ever being with eachother, in the company of, having that best friend yet romantic relationship, and its the greatest in the purest way and we are just completely happy again.
We went over how we should communicate and our communication and understandings of eachother has grown too, but its all come down to telling my friends and family. Everyone on his side, his friends and family support him and like me too but its significantly harder for me. My friends view him as someone I shouldnt be with and is not worthy of getting me back and he’s just not the one for me and theres plenty of other guys I’ll meet. The thing is I don’t want to meet another. I feel that he’s the only one for me and he feels the same. I know I may seem to be young and can be unsure or reckless, but I know what I feel and I am sure of it and so is he.
So is there a way to show them how I firmly believe this will go well? Or should I hide it until a while and if so how long.? I want to come out to them but I am struggling with how much they disapprove of this taboo :/
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 11, 2016 at 7:58 am
Hi Veronica,
nope don’t hide it.. You can’t force other people to believe you. Your friends and family have your best interest at heart, the best you can do is thank them and say sorry to them because you’re still sticking to your decision and ask them to understand to be there if you ever made the wrong decision. Because, this is something you’re sure now is right but you can be wrong, but you have to go through it to learn. You’re not forcing them to be on your side but you do hope they are there if you ever have to say that they are right, and to hope that they are someday too, if it turns out that you made the right decision.
That’s part of life.. You have to learn to accept that other people have the freedom to their opinions and decision. You can’t live getting everybody’s approval before making your own decision.
Toni
October 5, 2016 at 12:51 pm
So I’m 24 and my ex bf is 28. We haven’t been dating long but we had an incredible thing going. He was super mind all that stuff girls say on here. Flash forward to the incident of why we broke up. We got into a stupid little fight early in the day but got over it quickly however he said something that hurt my feelings so when we saw each other later that day I was kind of distant. I tried keeping it to myself. He asked what was wrong but I didn’t want to start another fight. We went to his friends house for dinner he got a little too drunk I guess and when we got home all hell broke loose. Ill skip the details but Basicall he destroyed a bunch of my personal items like makeup and stuff not anything major but still he pushed me when I tried to leave after he told me to get out of his house. When I was outside he pushed me again into his car and I immediately got scared and walked away. i called my parents to come get me because I was scared. I didn’t call the cops because in my mind. I didn’t have any bruises there were no witnesses what were they really going to do. I knew he was drunk and I didn’t want to get him in trouble either. Now obviously my parents hate him. He called me and said he was sorry. I know this sounds stupid but I love him and who I am I forgive so easily and want to see the best in everyone. He tells me he will go get help and he wants us to go together too. He says he really wanted a future and all that stuff and will do whatever t takes for me to forgive him. Should I give him a second chances when it became a physical thing? Maybe it was a one time thing. Maybe not? He’s the best man I’ve dated and the worst because of this incident. My dad would shoot him if he ever saw him again. But I want to believe that we can overcome this. Or am I just being foolish.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 7, 2016 at 2:26 pm
Hi Toni,
you’re being emotional.. But I think in order to have a proper 2nd chance, both of you need to go to couples therapy.
Catherine
October 1, 2016 at 7:43 am
Hi,I’m Catherine aged 20.My boyfriend is turning 24 come November. We’ve been dating for seven months n never had fights apart from the tiny misunderstandings.He never stopped expressing his love,talking of how happy I make him,consulting me before taking any major decisions even work related.It was a long distance relationship but not that long.Problems started when his family was to relocate to Coast. He wanted to stay but his dad insisted that he quits his job n follow him.I tried to tell him that relocating would cost him a lot n he was like,’he’s my dad’ he depends on me’I’m confused n that he didn’t feel like talking about it. Our chats started reducing.He would go silent or leave me hanging. When I asked him he said his life was in a mess.This continued n he couldn’t even pick up my calls.I decided to give him his space.We didn’t communicate for 3 weeks before I decided to call him up n he was like I regret ever going to Coast. I thought I could cope without knowing when I’d see you again.I’m coming back to Nairobi permanently n dad has disowned me for it.I don’t know how I’m going to pay my fees but I’ll fix it,Don’t ask me how.I’ll call you later.He never called. So after some days I texted him to show him support n he was greatful wanted to see me but I was going back to school.He was in n off.On the 14th we talked well though as usual he left me hanging. So at night I asked him if he’d be busy the next day n he told me he’d be at a conference which I got in the morning. I told him I needed to see him,but he didn’t reply.Then I just texted again I was coming n I packed my bag n left.Hwhen I was almost there his phone was off,I tried his other line n the text was delivered. On calling he was offline n I was left stranded late night with nowhere to turn to since I didn’t know the city quite well.A friend connected me with her cousin n I slept over.The next morning I called him up but he never picked up or texted back.My Siz texted him harshly n since then he’s never called or explained himself n I also considered myself single.I love him deeply n I don’t know what went wrong coz we never even argued.Why can’t he just apologize. Everybody tells me not to accept him back even if he apologizes but I really want him back.I feel there’s so much we haven’t enjoyed together. WhaWhat’s going on through his mind n will he even apologize? It’s been 2 weeks now.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 4, 2016 at 10:02 am
Hi Catherine,
I think he was just all talk with you..it was a short relationship… not enough to really know him well.. yes, he says he misses you but he didnt really mean it enough to see you.. and then you went there and all he could think about was just to ghost you..
I’m not sure if he will even apologize but I think the only chance that you have of him talking to you again is if he’s sure you’ve already moved on and wont confront him anymore of what happened