How To Handle Friends And Family Who Disapprove Of You Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

229 thoughts on “How To Handle Friends And Family Who Disapprove Of You Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Shannon

January 28, 2015 at 12:17 am

Hi Chris! Just wanna say love your site! It’s very helpful! And I bought your book! I broke up with my boyfriend in November. I did the crazy ex girlfriend thing was a text gnat and stuff. He put up with it and would text me back and he never said we wouldn’t get back together. It wasn’t just me texting, he would too. About 2 weeks ago he called me and told me that he missed me and that he wanted to get married before he gets deployed. (He’s in the army) we talked on the phone for like an hour and a half and it was great to just talk to him again. He said he wanted a “trial run relationship” and I said okay. He’s only home on the weekends and is very busy and he said he would try his best to see me. Well the weekend came and gone and he didn’t try to see me. I texted him numerous time to see if we could hang out and each time he said he was busy how about tomorrow. He never made the effort to see me and then started ignoring me. A week ago he texted me and said that he has to move on with his life and this will be the last time I hear from him at least for a while. I’m not gonna lie, I got mad and it didn’t end very well. I haven’t talked to him since and I’m currently doing NC. I’m a week into it, and it’s very hard. I miss him. I just don’t understand how 2 weeks ago he was saying he wanted to marry me and have me move out to base with him, and now he’s saying he’s moving on with his life. Do you think we still have a chance? I’m so confused.

admin

January 28, 2015 at 4:33 pm

Thanks for buying!!!!

So, he said he wanted to marry you and now he wants to move on?

What happened in these two weeks that caused such a sudden shift? Was there a fight?
Shannon

January 28, 2015 at 5:12 pm

There wasn’t really a fight no, it’s a long story. He said it would be great to see me over the weekend and that he wanted to and stuff, and the weekend came and he told me he would text me when he’s home. I texted him and asked him if he was home and he said yeah but he’s gotta spend time with his family. And I said okay, how about tomorrow then around like 9 or 10, and he said yeah that should work if I’m back, I’m going out of town. So said okay. I didn’t text him till the next day at like 5:30 and said are you gonna be home tonight and he didn’t get back until 10 and said that he was busy. I really wanted to see him because that was the last weekend that he was gonna be home before he leaves for a month of training. So I said can we meet up tomorrow somewhere then and he never got back. And I’m stupid for doing this but then I asked him if he wanted to come look at a car with me because he said he would help me with the whole buying process and again he never got back. I was kinda desperate to see him because he was leaving and maybe that turned him off? I don’t know. I didn’t text him for like a day and then I asked him to call me because I wanted to know what was going on. And he sent back that he has to move on blah blah blah. And I guess this kinda started into a fight because I was pretty mad. He made me think that we were gonna get back together by saying that he wants to see me, and that he wanted to get married before he left. And it wasn’t weird that he told me that because we always talked about that when we were together. So I was mad that he said that to me and then just says he has to move on and that I won’t hear from him. Our relationship was really intense and it was great. We were going through a rough patch and I gave up to easily. I’m not broken hearted or anything. I already went through that, and I know that if it doesn’t work out with him there are plenty other fish in the sea, but I just can’t explain it, the intensity of our relationship was one that people look for and we just had it. We both lost our virginities to each other and his family loved me. His mom told me that she has never seen him happier than when he was with me. I know that he misses me because he told me himself that he does. It’s been like 2 months since we broke up and I have apologized and I realized what I did wrong. I’ve told him this. And I guess I never really did NC because one of us would text each other. More so me, but it wasn’t just all me. He told me to that he was talking to two other girls but he doesn’t want to date them and just doesn’t want to tell them to go away cuz he doesn’t want to hurt them. So maybe that’s what stopping him? I don’t know. I’m doing NC now, and I miss him but I won’t cave. sorry, that was really long. Oh and thank you for replying! I’ve been on this site so much I feel like your a long lost friend that I’m finally talking to lol!
Shannon

January 29, 2015 at 2:45 pm

Do you think NC is still a good idea? It scares the hell outta me. I feel like he’s gonna move on.

charice

January 27, 2015 at 10:19 am

Hi Chris.

I broke up with my boyfriend during the new year. He said he love me and to give him 3 weeks to figure things out. And he will get back to me after the 3 weeks.

So yesterday, it was 3 days before the 3 week will pass. I text him to say hi, he did reply me back.I didn’t give him a chance.to speak and I let my emotions get ahead of me. I saw pictures of him and this new girl all over my Facebook. He kept texting her, talking to her. I panicked and I accused him of meeting someone new before giving him the chance to speak to me. I told him I couldn’t bear being friends with him anymore, because it hurt me so much. He told me he didn’t want us to end like this, and he said but since I have made up my mind he will leave me alone till I am ready to be friends with him again.

Today, I regretted what I did. I send him a text, just to ask how is he? He told me not to play games. He said I have really hurt his feelings by accusing him yesterday and he doesn’t want to talk right now. He said he is not going to let me act like that, he doesn’t want to be part of this roller coaster. We are done.

He said i will not be able to get over my sadness if i keep talking to him. He just want to be left alone for now, but assured me once we have calmed down. He will drop me a text. But this time, since I broke the 3 weeks of nc, he doesn’t know when he will ever be ready to talk to me again.

I am going to give him the time that he needs. But I feel I have ruined us. I feel like I have broken up a possibility of reconciliation. Help me Chris.

admin

January 27, 2015 at 3:18 pm

Haha seems like he is using NC on you!
charice

January 28, 2015 at 2:38 pm

So what do you think I should do now? I have decided to let him do whatever he wants, because I have no control over his emotions. Just mine. I am going to be happy, but still hopeful that once he have calm down, he will want to be back with me. For now, I only have a 50/50 percent chance. If at the end of this nc, and he decide that it’s best we both part ways, I will just have to respect his decision despite loving him so much. I will ask for your advice again once the nc is over.

thank you for your reply. It means alot to me.
charice

February 6, 2015 at 10:32 pm

Hi Chris, a week had pass and he finally text me. But to ask when he could return me my clothes at his place.

He is moving to another country for work for the next 2 years and don’t see how our LDR will work out. That’s the reason why he broke up with me. This time, I briefly asked him when is he going to move, he didn’t ignore me but replied me that he will be moving away in June but still working out on the accommodations.

I was attending a course at the time he texted me, so I told him that I will talk to him later. He said, “to have fun”. When I was done with my course, I texted him to ask him whether he could meet me for a meal before he leave.. on whatsapp I saw that he had read my message but he did not reply me.

Did I make a wrong move?
charice

February 8, 2015 at 6:45 am

I texted him today and told him “it isn’t to hard to let me know whether we could grab a meal or not. Just say a yes or a no.” He said , “we have a long time to think about that, it doesn’t have to be decided now. He is not ready to be friends yet.”

Is he playing me? When we broke up, he wanted to be friends and said he didn’t want to break off any contact”

felicia

January 27, 2015 at 1:39 am

Finally read the whole article. I think its messed how society thinks you should just throw away a relationship once something goes wrong. If we didnt have this mentality, divorce rates would probably be lower. Most of the reason why i ended things with the guy im trying to get back was due to disapproval of my mom, thankfully i’ve gotten over the whole pleasing my parents thing i’ve had my whole life. Its difficult when the people you love the most are really discouraging. I’m shush shush now and it makes it much easier.

admin

January 27, 2015 at 2:54 pm

Agreed… the divorce rate is kind of insane.

Glad that you found this article relevant to you. I was honestly very scared this wouldn’t be helpful for anyone.

Shara

January 26, 2015 at 5:59 am

Hi Chris,

Me & my boyfriend have been together for a year.He’s 8 years younger than me,Im his 1st gf.e’s 15, we never had any problem at our age gap, or hard time adjusting. Atually we didn’t feel like we had age gaps at all. Everything was really great, I know he loves me so much, there was nothing he won’t do for me, and everyday we always hang out.His family & friends will say that his whole world seems to revolve around me. Honestly I think I was a little bit of a high maintenance girl as you’ve mentioned (I’m hoping I can work it out). Controlling a little bit, but I don’t stop him on having fun or going out, only if I think it wold do no good on him. We broke last month because we had a fight, it was me who broke up with him. Within that whole month I tried everything to reach out, text him, call him, I even planned an apology surprise for him, send him foods & letters. No response. NOw I have started the NO Contact, but still I’m on the 3rd day. Will it works?I mean though I was a bit controlling & high maintenance before?HE unfriend me on facebook, and his cousins told me that he has a new girl as his phone wallpaper, and his friends told me that before we broke up he gave a girl a gift,,, Please help me. He has been ignoring me since the break up and I don’t know if he’s mad or he dont care on me at all

admin

January 26, 2015 at 4:21 pm

Go into no contact for 30 days. You will have to try to change the controlling nature as that pushes men away. Try to be aloof when you reconnect. Read the guide How Yo Get Your Boyfriend Back Version 2.0.
Shara

January 27, 2015 at 2:10 am

Thank you so much for the reply. I do really appreciate it. t made me feel better. Anyways I apologize for the consecutive posts, I was having problem posting & I thought it was not posted but it appears to be a lot. I’ll check it and do what you said. 🙂 Do you think there’s a chance?
admin

January 27, 2015 at 3:02 pm

No problem at all.

And sure I think there is a chance.
Shara

January 28, 2015 at 2:24 am

Another one Chris, my ex unfriended me when my friends taggged me photos eating out that was 2 weeks after the break up, but he still knows my password, do you think I should change my password and change my relationship status to single?
Shara

January 28, 2015 at 1:19 am

Thank you so much Chris. I really can’t understand how it feels, I mean shocked because within the relationship it was him who adores me more than I do, then now he’s ignoring me and keep me feeling rejected.
admin

January 28, 2015 at 4:36 pm

Take a deep breath.

Just know that I created this website just for women in your predicament.

Is there anything I can do?
Shara

January 29, 2015 at 6:18 am

My friends keeps telling me, there’s no chance, that he might fall out of love for me.. 🙁 Im getting hopeless,. anyways Chris, what’s the connection with looking in the eyes?or the eye contact?
admin

January 29, 2015 at 3:12 pm

What do you mean looking in the eyes?

Can you expand on that a bit?
shara

January 30, 2015 at 1:20 am

Most of my friends say that I should try to look at him,if he looks back or not to prove whether he still has feelings for me…How about if he’s sick Chris can you break the no contact?
admin

January 30, 2015 at 4:38 pm

Ok, I highly doubt a look is going to determine if he has feelings or not.
Shara

January 29, 2015 at 1:35 am

Hi Chris,THank you. Thanks to your website. I am now starting no contact, and I can’t avoid not seeing him because I work in their place…I think he is trying to get my attention, but still ignoring me at the same time.
admin

January 29, 2015 at 2:57 pm

You should read my post about how to handle this situation.
Shara

January 27, 2015 at 7:22 am

I mean, it’s been a month for me chasing and desperately almost begging him, is it not too late for me to do the no contact?
admin

January 27, 2015 at 3:13 pm

Nope.

Itll be a nice change of pace for you too.

Shara

January 26, 2015 at 1:28 am

Hi Chris,

Me & my boyfriend have been together for a year.He’s 8 years younger than me,Im his 1st gf. Everything was really great, I know he loves me so much, there was nothing he won’t do for me, and everyday we always hang out.His family & friends will say that his whole world seems to revolve around me. Honestly I think I was a little bit of a high maintenance girl as you’ve mentioned (I’m hoping I can work it out). Controlling a little bit, but I don’t stop him on having fun or going out, only if I think it wold do no good on him. We broke last month because we had a fight, it was me who broke up with him. Within that whole month I tried everything to reach out, text him, call him, I even planned an apology surprise for him, send him foods & letters. No response. NOw I have started the NO Contact, but still I’m on the 3rd day. Will it works?I mean though I was a bit controlling & high maintenance before?HE unfriend me on facebook, and his cousins told me that he has a new girl as his phone wallpaper, and his friends told me that before we broke up he gave a girl a gift,,, Please help me 🙂 I mean yeah i maybe a little controlling but it was for his own sake, I was sure that I helped hi change to be better, follow his parents and be good on his studies. Ever since we were together we was acting good. People say I helped him change for the better

admin

January 26, 2015 at 3:59 pm

Impossible to say if it will work or not at this point just know that you have taken the right steps to drastically improve your chances.

Jess

January 24, 2015 at 5:22 am

Hey Chris,
My ex and I broke up back in early October and my attempt at getting him back has been pretty half-hearted. I texted him once but that was it and I got a new phone recently and i was considering on texting him to let him know I’ve got a new number. But I’m really confused. Just to shed some light on the situation he broke up with me because we live an hour away from each other and it just sucked not being able to be together whenever we wanted and because he didn’t love me as much as he used to. Our breakup ended up on a friendly note. Neither of us regretted the relationship and I’m not mad at him or anything. We’re still friends on Facebook and follow each other on Twitter. But he deleted me off his snapchat after I sent out a run of the mill story to everyone back in November. I know that he’s moved on or trying to because he flirted with our friend’s crush. However, this girl has no interest in my ex and she’s liked the two guys on and off for nearly two years. I’ve told my two closest friends about this and mine and my ex’s friend about how my ex accidently called me but that girl’s name when he first introduced me as his girlfriend. They told me that he was a jerk and my guy friend said if that was any indication, then my ex and that girl wouldn’t work out because she’s realized he’s a jerk (his thoughts not mine). If my friends, including my mutual guy friend that I share with my ex all agree that I don’t need him and deserve better, should I listen to them? When you mentioned friends taking sides, I was shocked when he took my side but he always has since we first met. I want to confide my plan in him but since he’s close friends with my ex, I definitely won’t be able to. If anything, everyone’s been saying to stop dwelling on my ex but I can’t because I’m so confused. I still love him and o know that he brought out some of my best qualities in me but I can’t help wandering if he’s still holding onto the idea of us or something because his Twitter profile picture is still of us from my senior prom last year. Even though he doesn’t tweet a lot, I know he’s got quite a few of his friends and other peers as followers, wouldn’t he change the picture based on his friends and family siding with him over the breakup?

admin

January 26, 2015 at 2:53 pm

Yes, I don’t think confiding in him would be the best idea.
Jess

January 27, 2015 at 4:15 am

Yeah, I thought so. Is it fine if I still ask him how my ex is doing whenever it seems appropriate when we talk? I feel weird asking him because I feel like our friend is going to tell me to ask him myself. However, I’m certain my ex doesn’t want to talk. On the friends and family, is it fine that I’m still sorta friends with his youngest sister?
admin

January 27, 2015 at 3:05 pm

Its definitely fine just don’t let her in on your intentions with your ex.
Jess

January 28, 2015 at 4:23 am

The thing is I haven’t talked to her since her brother and I broke up. I messaged her a few days later asking how her brother reacted and what he told her. I’m pretty sure I isolated our friendship that way. Is it possible I can at least mend my relationship with her, despite what happened between me and her brother?

G

January 23, 2015 at 5:34 pm

Hi Chris,

I emailed you a few days back but thought to also leave a message here.

I recently broke off my wedding because my ex cheated on me with someone for a few months (before we got engaged he says) but this broke me down completely as I never thought he would ever hurt him in such way.

Its was a long distance relationship. Hadn’t seen him in years but we made it work through social media and we were fine, but he seemed distant and unhappy near a few months before the wedding. I asked him what was going on, he didn’t tell me much, just said let things be.

Anyways so once I said no I will not marry you, he did a complete 180 turn and kept saying how he loves me, can’t live without me, took me for granted, didn’t think i would say no….

Everything by then was so messed because families were involved that no one allowed me to meet him and we came back to my country. Once I’m home, he went back to his old self of barely talking, not giving me attention, asking for space…He also said lets give it time, I won’t come visit (when I said come here and take me home if i mean so much to u) so my main question for u is what is happening? Why a complete change again?

I def do love him a lot but I can’t keep disrespecting myself and my family with his behaviour (which I also told him). I told him if he wants me he’s going to have to come for me, as I came several times for him before (I told him that too). I also said to him that I can’t keep repeating this relation one way and if he wants me in his life like he says he’s going to have to put in the effort as well or i’m going to have to cut off all ties with him as its too hard to go through all this again as its unfair for me. His reply to that was ok I don’t want to talk, so no msg or call and live ur life. He then blocked me.

I did read ur posts about blocking and all, but my thing is it wasn’t just a boyfriend situation for me its more of fiancee a guy i’m completely in love with and wanted to marry. Yes my emotions got the best of me and I said no and rushed and did somethings wrong in the past too, but that still doesn’t allow him to do such things.

He told me before we cut off, i got blocked, a few days before that, that he cares for me, you should give me time to miss you too, don’t be needy, don’t be begging… because I did lose myself in the emotions and did become very needy to be honest. I was afraid to losing him.

I haven’t talked to him for a week now, and he’s still blocked me… so i’m just keeping strong, keeping myself busy….

But can you maybe give me an idea to what you think of this and maybe give me some feedback, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks.

admin

January 26, 2015 at 2:19 pm

Question, could you ever forgive him for the cheating?

A lot of people wouldn’t be able to.
G

January 26, 2015 at 10:02 pm

Honestly I can forgive him. I have in way already to be honest. I feel lots was said and done between me and him and yes it still doesn’t allow him to do such behaviour. I am completely heart broken for sure, where as in I feel he’s out and about living his life.

I did read ur posts and have followed ur steps on going out, working… so it keeps the mind busy for sure.

My question is even though he’s distant himself from me and blocked me and stuff, I’m of course doing the NC 30 and i’m on day 10 right now, its def hard because i miss him terribly. He tells me he cares a lot about him and stuff but that honestly doesn’t clear up things, esp when he said give me time to miss you too (before we had a fight and then he blocked me)

When a guy says that what does he mean? Like he’s just nicely putting in a way leave me alone its over, or i do actually care for u but because i always took u for granted ur always here (he’s told me he’s taken me for granted)

But the main thing is i’m just very tired of always making him understand how i feel and just want him to fight for us…which I don’t see him doing right now.

What would ur advice be for me?

We’ve been together counting long distance for about 8 years now.

If you as a guy feel its time i should just give up, just be honest because i just can’t hold on to something thats not there just hoping and wishing you know what i mean.

Being without him is the worst thing ever esp since I’ve worked so hard for me and him being so far away. But I owe it to myself to respect myself enough to not go begging if its honestly done.

Hope to hear from u soon.
Thanks
admin

January 27, 2015 at 2:42 pm

EIGHT YEARS?!?!

Was there some sort of plan to ever be together permanently?
G

January 27, 2015 at 10:32 pm

yea marriage. but then some girl came in the way when me and him were on a rough patch because of long distance.

so now he’s all distant and i don’t know anymore. breaks my heart completely.

both sides were happy until that third person entered. she even told him to leave me, which he told me and said he just couldn’t leave me.

but now that i’m back he’s all no calls no msgs nothing and now blocking??

to be honest i cried at work today and i ended up calling him!! so bad! i know!!

cause usually we would fight and not talk for a few days once we went a week so i kinda of in my heart thought maybe this is one of those times, guess not.
G

January 29, 2015 at 4:49 pm

what do u think??

Taryn

January 23, 2015 at 6:27 am

Hello Chris :]

So Ryan and I are still talking. I must say that we still have not gotten to see each other yet. He wanted to see me in December, but that fell through because of the Christmas season. And now hia school semester started again.

I am having some trouble though, he and I had some ups and downs since we started talking again. Mostly to do with when we can see each other. And also, he gets in his sexual moods where he texts to ask me if I can come over. But I just say no. He and I never did that together, ever, before. And he wants to. I told him that I want to wait for sex. Because that’s just how I personally feel. I want to spend time in person first. Go out. Go on dates. And he’s understanding. But he does get in those moods anyway.

We still talk on the phone, which is good, because I have had some moments where he would text me something and I would overreact… Not realising what he really meant and things like that.

He is longing for intimacy with me. And he wants to spend time with me. He is okay with waiting, but he still tests and asks. I am staying strong. I won’t be that girl who gives in easily.

Anyways, what I want to focus on is finally seeing each other again. We’ve been talking again since September. And he has told me he loves me more than once. And I said it back. He also told me that he believes we are meant to be. We overcame the downs that we had. And there were some times where I believe I didn’t handle it right.

In general, I’d say that I’m still on track. This is just hard… We are in an LDR. Still not official. Last week we talked on the phone about having a strong foundation and building on what we have. I’d say that we are in the “more than friends” area. But he can’t have any of the benefits of a relationship without committing to me.

So that is where I’m at. Trying to set a solid date with him and having him commit to me. Which he is capable of. We live 1&1/2 hours away from each other.

Also, we still talk often. Almost everyday. Either I text first or he does. Or I call or he calls. I’d say we talk 4 days a week. And he always texts back. And returns my calls.

There that lol

:]

admin

January 23, 2015 at 4:36 pm

Men will have these moods… It is competely normal so don’t take it too personally.

Does anyone have a car so that you guys can visit each other?

I really want things to work out for you two.
Taryn

January 23, 2015 at 5:31 pm

Thank you for that :]

And yup, we both have cars. I ran into an issue because my family kept telling me to have him come to me first. I could have went to see him myself many times by now. But they were saying that it shows initiative if he comes here first. Technically, Ryan already came here first. In December 2013. But then we broke up in February 2014, so I figured that counted as like a reset lol… And that he should still come here first.

I live with my parents. And I am a grown woman who can make my own choices, but I do agree with him coming here again first.

I could go there. And I was planning to take turns seeing each other. But I was waiting for him to be able to come here. It’s winter and crappy out… And that far of a drive for me is not so cool. So I was going to start driving out there when it gets warm.

Okay, so, he said that he wants to come see me in Feb, because right now he doesn’t have a lot of money. And he wants to be able to take me out. I actually do want to wait till February, and let that date happen. And from there, then I would like to start driving to him. I could go to him first. I totally could. But I can honestly say that my family is part of the reason why I haven’t yet. And also, me agreeing with them. Haha.

Blahh lol. That’s just what I’m thinking. I’m thinking out loud.

And thank you. I believe we will work out!
admin

January 26, 2015 at 2:18 pm

While I do think its a good idea for him to come to you first (your parents are right it will show more initiative.)
Sometimes, if nothing is getting done, you are giong to have to take matters into your own hands.
Taryn

January 26, 2015 at 4:24 pm

Agreed :]

Emma

January 22, 2015 at 6:02 am

Hey Chris,

It’s been a year since my ex (of 3 years) bf left me for another girl..and he kicked me out of the house.. So as you can imagine, my family and friends think he is a totally jerk for breaking my heart..even his family were soo upset in my behalf (his parents offered his old bedroom at their place! Lol) but everyone knows (he does too) that I still love him..I’m still living my life, seeing friends and family. But man, I miss him and such a big piece of him missing from my heart..

admin

January 22, 2015 at 5:04 pm

I understand your predicament.

I am really sorry that he did that to you too.

Have you put any of the advice on this site to use yet?
Emma

January 26, 2015 at 4:16 am

Thanks Chris for you empathy! I bought the manual.. Read it cover to cover! I loved it! I would try to send him texts occasionaly of a fun memory(with knots in my stomach) and he does responds.. But then *poof*gone! He’s 39 she’s 25.. It’s been a year for them..
admin

January 26, 2015 at 4:06 pm

Darn!

Well, maybe whats happening is he doesn’t want his girlfriend to see hes texting you cause he know he will get in trouble if she saw it yet here he is still respoinding to you.
Emma

January 27, 2015 at 2:41 pm

What do they British say? “Keep calm and carry on..” I think at this point, is to continue to move forward.. I loved him fully and unconditionaly..I made my mistakes (communication stuff-but nothing like cheating, stealing or meanness ) and was hoping he would coming back in my arms. But it’s up to him at this point.. I’m going to be ok.. Thanks Chris for your big heart and your listening ears.. And many blessings to you and your new bride! :))
admin

January 28, 2015 at 3:08 pm

Good attitude Emma!

Keep calm and carry on 😉

felicia

January 21, 2015 at 10:01 pm

CHRIS! This is great, havent read it yet but this is so up my alley and i cant wait to dive into this! I went into a month of nc and recently added him back on facebook. I think things in life are better, besides stuff with him and im just taking it slow and not going in with any big expectations. Loving these new articles, still would like to see one about walking away. Hope all is well! Gonna go read this now 😀

admin

January 22, 2015 at 4:48 pm

Hi Feliia!

Hope you enjoy it.

I am slowly but surely trying to write stuff specifically to peoples questions so don’t worry, the walking away one is going to come.

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229 thoughts on “How To Handle Friends And Family Who Disapprove Of You Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”