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Alexis
March 27, 2017 at 10:41 pm
Helpful article! I need help assessing my current situation though. My ex broke up with me in person this year on January 31st, 2017. This is the second time he broke up with me. My ex broke up with me right as we already planned a date that following Thursday, and we were looking to our 1 year anniversary, which would have been this year on March 22, 2017. His exact words were: “I think our strength lies in us being friends. I knew you were not thinking long term.” To which I replied that I was thinking long term, and so we ended up agreeing to be friends.
The thing is, It has now been a month( 1 month and 26 days to be exact ) and I found out my ex is in a new relationship with someone else. I cannot really tell how long they have been dating. However the way I found out was when my best friend and I were walking and we saw my ex and his new girlfriend kissing, and cuddling, basically PDA. My ex and I go to the same college, and we tend to go to the same hangout in addition to having a lot of mutual friends. The new girl my ex is with shares a class with him, and they seem to share a similarity, which is they’re really fond of meat. The new girl seems almost different to me. The only similarities we share are the fact that we wear glasses, have brown eyes, and have curly hair.(though her’s is brown while mine is black) My ex did not tell me about his new relationship let alone introduce me to her. I do know that my ex’s friend was surprised that he already found someone.
The first time my ex and I broke up, my ex ended things via text message citing that we had gotten too busy for a relationship. My ex got into a rebound 3 days later with someone who was similar to me, in terms of ethnicity since the rebound at that time was Asian, just like me. Then we got back together a month later. In the beginning of the second break up it was like my ex wasn’t really bothered. He was friendly toward me and he even gave me a hug. But then I noticed him getting on Facebook a lot more often. Strangely his Facebook profile hasn’t changed, other than the fact that he’s made new friends and people post on his wall. Also anytime I would sit next to my ex he would cringe at my presence. Plus anytime I would be having a good time with my guy friends my ex stared at me. Could this mean anything? Whether it was sadness/guilt, jealousy or anger I am not sure, but it was probably all of the above.
I have done no-contact(30 days) and have kept communication to a minimum. My ex and I used Skype a lot and the last time we talked we were talking about movies. Also I have kept my self busy doing other things. Is it worth trying to get an ex back even if he dumped you more than once? Prior to dating me, my ex’s longest relationship he had was 3 months. I am not his first girlfriend, as my ex had multiple girlfriends before me.
In terms of the relationship, it was actually really nice, stable. We talked all the time and would often hang out at his place. He’s met my mom and sister, and I met his mom and brother. We hardly fought and he would say he hoped his future included me in it. I would often bring him gifts anytime I traveled anywhere. He brought me gifts too. We would also play games together. My ex and I were also opposites, yet it was enough to where we had a balance of similarities and differences. He’s a Virgo, I am a Pisces. He hated spicy food while I loved it. He tended to be a tad more rational and spontaneous while I was a tad impulsive, but reserved. We both loved books, science, and video games.
Alexis
March 28, 2017 at 10:14 pm
Thanks for the feedback, but if you were in my position, what would you suggest? My ex unfortunately was my first relationship, which means I am in-experienced.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 29, 2017 at 12:56 pm
restart the no contact rule.. do it properly. no initiating, no replying, no social media stalking. Just focus in healing and improving yourself and then slowly build rapport after.. If it doesn’t work out, at least you did the no contact rule properly, you had time for yourself, and you did your best. check this one:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant
Alexis
March 28, 2017 at 10:10 pm
Thanks for the feedback, but if you were in my position, what would you suggest? My ex unfortunately was my first relationship, which means I am in-experienced.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 29, 2017 at 12:57 pm
restart the no contact rule.. do it properly. no initiating, no replying, no social media stalking. Just focus in healing and improving yourself and then slowly build rapport after.. If it doesn’t work out, at least you did the no contact rule properly, you had time for yourself, and you did your best. check this one:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 28, 2017 at 5:40 pm
Hi Alexis,
that will depend in your standards..if you feel that you can’t give him a chance anymore, move on..
Alexa
March 27, 2017 at 2:47 pm
Very helpful article! However, my situation is a tad confusing. My boyfriend recently broke up with me back on January 31st of this year. This was our second time dating. We dated the first time for 8 months, broke up due to our own busy schedules, got back together a month later (march 22, 2016). The first time we broke up my ex got into a rebound 3 days later, but the rebound relationship failed. So from there we dated until January 31st, right before we scheduled a date that following Thursday, and also before we got to celebrate our 1 year anniversary of this year.(March 22, 2017). We dated for 10 months this time The reason he called it off, in his exact words was: “I think our strength lies in us being friends.” Now it is a month(1 month and 27 days), and I found out he’s in a new relationship with someone else. My ex did not tell me about that. Instead my friend and I were walking and we saw them cuddling and kissing. They looked so happy together. The new girl shares a class with my ex as well. I also saw one of my ex’s friends(My ex and I also have a lot of mutual friends) seem kind of surprised that he has a new girl now. I have done no contact(for 30 days) and since then I kept communication to a minimum.. However not only is he in a new relationship, he’s also on facebook a lot more than usual. Plus anytime I was around him, my ex acted like he didn’t want me around, and I caught him staring at me a few times, specially when I was with my own guy friends having fun. I couldn’t tell whether it was jealousy, sadness or anger, possibly a combination of them all. Could this mean anything? Also is it worth it to try to get an ex back who has dumped you more than once? I am not his first relationship. He’s had multiple girlfriends before me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 28, 2017 at 5:09 pm
Hi Alexa,
if you still want to try, approach like it this one:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)
Jessica
March 25, 2017 at 3:42 pm
y ex boyfriend and I were in a relationship for 8 months and everything was going great. I find out that he has been
cheating on me with someone that he says he has feelings for. He told me he wanted me to leave as he thinks he sees
something with her so I did. They met back in Sept and a few days ago they officially started dating. In that time I
have done the no contact for the full 30 days. When I started the text messaging phase with my ex he was still listed
as single. He went away with her for a week and in that time I never heard from him. When he got back he sent me a
message and told me he went away with a friend which turned out to be her. I tried to add him back as a friend on FB
and when he saw my request that was the time he put that he was in a relationship and changed his profile pic a few hrs
later. We have been chatting for about a week now every day and he is the one who initiates the first message. He asks
me for pics and he send me pics of him too. The other day I asked him if he misses our big long hugs we used to give.
To which he replied that I never wanted to let go and then he said seems like you miss them too. Also, on the same day
I said maybe one day you will get to see the new me and he replied with hope so. Everyday when I dont contact him he
constantly checks to see if I messaged him. Does this mean he is missing me? And is there relationship a rebound since
he basically jumped right into a relationship with her but never made it FB official until the other day?
Kati
March 24, 2017 at 5:52 pm
Hi there!
Me and my ex had serious relationship for 3 years (both of us have kids), but he broke up with me nearly 2 months ago, he said he was not happy and it was too much for him (kids, responsibilities and he felt different after 3 years). And I was really feeling bad the last 6 months, became needy, clingy and desperate. He felt it too. But we were madly in love, and we fit like a clock, amd emotionally and physically our relationship were going alwyways up words, we were surprised. We were both married, we are 38. And wanted to be together forever. But he got tired. Said it was no fun anymore. So after the breakup (he simply announced it), I stayed in no contact with him. Never called. Never texted. He was asking about me. Then he texted about my staff ( I had half of the house there). After 6 weeks we met. I was trying to rebuild the connection. We texted few times. And now he is saying that he met someone now.. She is young. And he wants to try and se if it works out. He said to a mutual friend of ours. I was hoping we would be able to get back together. But he said he doesn’t believe in second chance and it’s over. He is very proud and stubborn. He said we should enjoy life and meet other people.
He is about to start dating someone. He couldn’t before. We loved each other. Is he in a rebound relationship ? And what do I do now? No contact I did. And exactly when it was over..he wants to date someone new….I am actually devastated.
Kati
March 30, 2017 at 11:35 am
I haven’t said much to him…it’s been all through messages..:) but whenever he was mentioning it again, I was just confirming to him that’s all is fine…I have my life and I am busy and happy. I have never mentioned since the break up the possibility to come back together nor did I asked him to talk to me or anything like it. He was the one to initiate conversations about returning my things. Which is still by the way not finalised. :)) he had been bringing my stuff 3 times already…and still has few things there.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 30, 2017 at 7:20 pm
that’s very good. It looks like he’s getting cinvinced5 slowly that youre3 not chasing and he’s getting more interested
Kati
March 29, 2017 at 8:35 am
What did I reply to what? I really don’t know if I can contact him or just make again a no contact? He never told me directly he won’t talk to me anymore. Everything only to a friend of ours. There are few thing left atmhismplacebstill and he will return them whenever there is time..his words.. Oh, and he didn’t wanto tell his mom it’s over.. Weird ,no? I told him I don’t want to pretend in front of her that we are ok…
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 29, 2017 at 2:51 pm
what did you reply when he told you that you have to realize it’s over and that you’re not going back together?
Kati
March 27, 2017 at 9:32 am
Hi Amor! Well, the no contact was from my side not broken…after 3 weeks of it he showed up at my door to return half of my things. I just took them (otherwise he would have left it on the porch ). He wasn’t sober then. 🙂 I asked him to give the rest f my things to a friend of mine as I wasn’t ready to face my ex again. I had been doing great. Improving myself and showing that I have moved on. I never contacted him by myself, even on his birthday. Then another 2 weeks passed and he sent me text with happy women day. Wished me all the best and that I looked amazing on the whatsapp foto. So by then it’s been 5 weeks after break up and no contact from my side. So I thought to use this opportunity and start building some rapport. He showed only positive feedback. Replied straight away. Joked..flirted a bit ( even at that point he was overseas). He said he will call me when he is back. To return the rest of the things. I said he can give my things to a friend and we can meet for coffee and chat. He was trying to postpone the return of my stuff. Till week later I asked him if he was back..and we had a nice chat. Next day he came over to bring my stuff. So we saw us first time after 7 weeks. Was a amazing.. I looked well..he noticed it. Next day we met at our friends birthday party and it felt like being home with him. Friend of ours noticed it as well. ThT we have a strong connection and attracted to each other. As much as I wanted to be neutral.. Of course we flirted a bit…laughed..as it felt natural. Bu then all of a sudden 2 days later he changed…became kind of angr..said to me I have to realise it’s over and we will not be back together anymore.and that he is seeing someone else. Very unexpected. This mutual friend f ours wants us to get back…well even his family wants. Everyone thinks it’s insane. So this friend asked him how things are…and my ex said that he met someone…she is nice…young…and he wants to see what will happen. So it’s totally something new. As even he was hiding it from a friend. No one knows who she is or what nationality etc. My ex all of a sudden said to a friend that he doesn’t want to do anything with me( even few days earlier he was saying the opposite). I was hoping to build th connection again…but now all,of a sudden he acts like a crazy person. I don’t want to show him I am desperate.. What shall I do? I a, trying to improve my life…I a, busy with my kid..my work..friends…but I am afraid more time passes by….the me less chance we have. He is stubborn. And doesn’t change his mind. It’s almost like he is trying to prove me he moved on…but I know it’s been hard on him…3 years with me and our 2 kids….blended relationship….plans for the future..financial problems….etc…please advise…thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 28, 2017 at 4:32 pm
what did you reply to that?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 26, 2017 at 12:06 pm
hi kati,
how long did you do no contact, how much did you improve, and did you slowly build rapport after?
Allie
March 20, 2017 at 12:46 am
What if he was seeing the other woman and you for three months and lying to you both the whole time!? We dated 1.5 years and her 3 months at the point I found out. He got caught! He blocked me from all contact with a crappy “im sorry, im young, i messed up. In the back of my head i knew I didn’t want to be with you.” Then apologized to her too and asked for another chance with her? They work together! I NEVER saw this coming, never thought he was capable of being so cruel! Its been 5 weeks of them with out me in their lives. He literally replaced me before I was gone, took all of our adventures/ideas/memories and recreated them with her?? I made his mom a xmas gift on xmas eve for him, xmas morning he dropped it off on her doorstep! He didnt even get me anything . He saw me almost everyday while still seeing her too. We had a great relationship. I dont know if he misses me, regrets his horrible actions and lies, regrets anything? I am not reaching out anymore. Ive always reached out in tough times, always been the one to make him happy and be a great od girlfriend. Its his turn to grow up and reach out, but im afraid he wants her and i was then the “other woman” in the end! She met his family amd hers within weeks! Rushed everything with her. Spent nye with her bit new years day with me. Took hwr on trips i asked to do. Is this a rebound?
jen
August 21, 2017 at 6:46 am
this is the 2nd “relationship” my ex has been in in the 3months we have been split. we were together for a year he admitted the 1st he was trying to feel how he did with me but got nowhere near. we reconnected last month went out for a drink & 2 weeks ago he was at my house and told me he misses me is crazy about me & gets butterflies when he sees me (he felt rejected sexually & emotionally when i turned down sex that night) and now it looks like hes started seeing someone else since last week. so im thinking RR to get over his feeling of rejection? you cant just switch off feelings like that surely? do i apply NC again or do the being there method or just give up & move on
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 22, 2017 at 9:38 pm
how many nc have you done and for how long? If he felt rejected because you refused after just two weeks of going out and you’re not girlfriend boyfriends, that means he just wants sex..
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 24, 2017 at 2:19 pm
Hi Allie,
nope, it’s a grass is greener case..check this one:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
K
March 16, 2017 at 4:24 pm
I was planning to text him next month after 3months of nc and it will have been 4months since the breakup. (And we were long distance relationship for the last 2 months of the relationship) And today I checked his Facebook and saw he recently uploaded a picture with this new girl. I don’t know much about her because he was relocated to a new place 1 month before the breakup and I think he met her there. He’s never posted anything about me while we were together. And now suddenly he’s changed? I’m so confused….
K
March 22, 2017 at 2:31 am
Implying* not suggesting
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 25, 2017 at 12:38 pm
Hi K,
both texts are good..dont mention that you saw the picture because you would look like you’re social media stalking him.. and dont think about there for now, it’s too early. Build rapport first..
K
March 22, 2017 at 2:30 am
Hi and also he doesn’t know I know about the picture he posted on Facebook because we’re not friends on Facebook and I told him before that I don’t do Facebook anymore. So when i text him should I do it via the app we used to talk on and pretend I don’t know about it, or should I facebook message him suggesting I’ve seen the photo but I don’t care?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 25, 2017 at 12:38 pm
Hi K,
both texts are good..dont mention that you saw the picture because you would look like you’re social media stalking him.. and dont think about there for now, it’s too early. Build rapport first..
K
March 22, 2017 at 12:11 am
You mean the second one, not the first in the earlier comment, right?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 25, 2017 at 12:38 pm
Hi K,
both texts are good..dont mention that you saw the picture because you would look like you’re social media stalking him.. and dont think about there for now, it’s too early. Build rapport first..
K
March 21, 2017 at 1:56 am
Hi, I can’t find my latest comment so here I am again. I don’t know how long it has been going on…it’s been about 4months since he moved there so maybe 4 months or shorter… what if i text him in April and say “hey are you busy? I have something to ask you, i know it’s something silly but i have no one else to ask lol.” And then if he answers, I’ll be like”do you remember our last trip? You complimented me on driving right? Because my friends won’t believe it;)” (driving was one of the things he would make fun of me for so i am trying to be just playful here…no intense emotional talk..) what do you think?? I’m so depressed ever since I saw that photo… please help!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 21, 2017 at 5:44 pm
yup that’s a good one, you can try that text..
K
March 17, 2017 at 10:37 pm
Okay thanks I love that spirit:) But i was going to text him before i saw the pic maybe in April about the car suggesting to meet and help me with the car.. should I still do it? Is there any safer way to prevent him from saying no?
K
March 16, 2017 at 10:33 pm
Can it be a rebound? Because he seemed really happy in the picture…..and what should I do now??
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 17, 2017 at 7:03 pm
you can’t control them..so, worrying about them will not help.. sometimes, we have to do a little bit like what bitchy girls who are good at getting guys do..she doesn’t care if the guy she wants is in a relationship or not, she just know the guy has to have fun when he is with her.. so, now just keep improving yourself and being active in posting in social media..
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2017 at 7:02 pm
Hi K
those can just be because their relationship is new
K
March 16, 2017 at 4:29 pm
And for the person I thought he was, he is not very emotional or impulsive person…. he would never do something like this….does it mean it’s serious?
Allie
March 16, 2017 at 1:25 am
Dated a much younger man, 21 years old today. Im in my mid thirtys. Never planned this, dated 1.5 years. I was basically his first serious everything though he never told me he loved me. About 9 months in, the age bothered him until our break up. Always in the back of his mind. I have never been married or have kids. Im fit attractive and full of fun, which is why we connect so well. Age didn’t have an issue in our everyday lives, just long term for him. Well about 4 months ago he started cheating and lying to me with a girl from his job! I found out officially 5 weeks ago when i caught him red handed. I spoke to the other girl who was told we broke up months ago. In the time he has lied and cheated on us both. Im devastated because we had a friendship. Shes 19, a kid like him. He apologized to her and she went back. Me? I got blocked from all communication. He literally took every idea or event we had and did it for her. Gave her a xmas i made for him for his mother. Took her places i asked to go. He didn’t want to break up until i found out! Just lied when i felt suspicious. Its now been four weeks of them “alone” without me around. He still pops up at parks near my house to workout. Posted oix of how happy they are together. We spoke a week ago and he apologized and said i was an amazing woman, liyal, truthful, supportive, always there for him…made me feel even worse. I lost my friend. They won! They got to be with eachother, start over, and im left broken hearted. I thought he was a great guy, im shocked at what he did! Would this new relationship be considered a rebound?? I cant go back but im so upset he took everything we have shared and placed it in their relationship! No originality at all .
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2017 at 4:55 pm
Hi Allie,
Did you mean you’re just asking if she’s a rebound, and you’re moving on? Unfortunately, she’s a grass is greener for him..
Hasan
March 15, 2017 at 5:24 pm
I had my ex gf for 18 months 1 time Brock up for 2 weeks then we came back to each other so she broke up with me in January 1st 2017 asked me to leave then I picked up my stuff went out the door did not saying anything then I black her on my Facebook then she called me 6 time that night I just reject the calls then 1 week no contact then she texts my every Saturday night for the last half of January but February only one text she was trying to meet up but she did not apologize that what I waited for so I ignored all that also for doing the no contact then nothing no text no calls but she posted on her facebook on March 11 that she is in relationship and nothing so far .. I really want her back … but I will not take the initiative to start text or call as she is the one who broke up with me kicking me out of her place and did not apologize but I believe she broke up with me for another guy that she got to know by 1 month or less before the broke up
She knows that I check her facebook often so she was posted every Saturday stuff like feeling in love heart pictures then post that she is in relationship on March 11
What should I do move on
I don’t want to wait the rest of my life for another text messages
I will answer if she text
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2017 at 4:05 pm
Hi Hasan,
set a limit until when you should wait before moving on..
Madi
March 13, 2017 at 5:29 pm
I dated this guy for 4 years, about halfway through we broke up for 6 months, so technically we were only together for 3.5 years. For the most part, we had a great relationship. I went above and beyond to be a good girlfriend to him, washing his clothes, cleaning, cooking, encouraging him, etc. About a month a ago, we broke up, kind of a mutual thing, but he was telling him let him get stuff out of his system (seeing other girls) and he’ll realize no one would do for him what I did for him. 2 days after our split, he started seeing another woman. She’s 10 years older than him, and has kids closer to his age (which she’s given him control over where her kids are allowed to go, what they’re allowed to do, etc). They’ve been together since…. constantly texting, spending every moment together. He says she’s the love of his life, puts her on a big pedestal and acts as though he’s madly in love with her…. I want to say it’s a rebound, but it looks serious :/
Madi
March 15, 2017 at 7:50 pm
Yes, I’m doing NC. It’s very hard going from having constant contact to none, but it’s for the best. I’m just praying she’s a rebound and he’ll figure it out soon
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2017 at 4:09 pm
improve yourself.. make hin regret through your improvement
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 15, 2017 at 2:30 pm
Hi Madi,
if they met and talked before the break up, she’s more likely a grass is greener case.. right now, are you going to try nc?
Kirsty
March 13, 2017 at 12:18 am
What do you do if his new gf is a potential rebound and they have been best friends for many years?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 15, 2017 at 10:16 am
Hi Kirsty,
follow the advice on this one:
Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back
Sherisse
March 10, 2017 at 7:08 pm
Hello,
I dated my ex for nearly three years till we broke up via his decision after a nasty fight. I went into no contact and within that 10 week time frame he got someone new. It was someone I had a feeling that he had a crush on. He use to tell me that there was a girl at his job that looks just like me but minus the freckles. He use to compare us and how she would work two jobs and go to school like myself. When I took him to see President Obama’s last speech I saw him staring at her. Well, my gut instinct was right that’s his new girl. Is it possible that this is a rebound relationship because it was under a three months that he jumped in a relationship? I can tell they are moving pretty fast as well because they have been dating for at least two weeks and they are already on a vacation in Cancun.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 14, 2017 at 4:23 pm
Hi Sherisse,
It’s a grass is greener case because he had a crush with her since you were together. Open this:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Heather
March 10, 2017 at 5:49 am
Hello,
I really need some advice. My ex just broke up with me out of the blue after nearly two years together. He called me up and couldn’t even face me in person. A month later he posted this picture grinding with some girl with a caption that claimed she makes him feel a certain way. Come to find out she’s a coworker of his. The picture is disgusting and he never did that with me. He probably broke up with me for her. How could he really be over me so soon? He was so in love with me. Is this a rebound? I feel so hurt.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 10, 2017 at 9:24 am
Hi Heather,
if he broke up with you for her, she’s a grass is greener case.. Check this one:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Sarah Florence
March 8, 2017 at 6:25 am
Less than 2 months of us being broken up my partner of the last 4 years (last 2 years of our relationship were long distance) already had a new gf. When we spoke about it he said that she wasn’t a rebound and that he thinks she’s the one. He said he didn’t go looking for a relationship but it just happened. He also says that he still cares about me and it hurts for him to see things about me pop up on his social media. Is it possible that this really is just a rebound relationship?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 10, 2017 at 12:31 pm
Hi Sarah,
yes, it’s still possible that she’s just a rebound..
Sflo
March 7, 2017 at 9:08 pm
My ex bf is in a new relationship which started just over a month of us breaking up after being in a long-distance relationship for close to 2 years (together 4 years in total). I want to believe it’s a rebound but he says that she is ‘the one’ and he wasn’t looking for a relationship when she came along and had a lightening moment. Opinion?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 10, 2017 at 12:31 pm
Hi Sarah,
yes, it’s still possible that she’s just a rebound..
Lucy
March 3, 2017 at 7:00 pm
Do I have any chance of getting him back?
I dated this guy for a year but we broke up because of me being unsure and scared of us getting caught ( my parents don’t allow me to date and would punish me severely if I was to be caught) but we didn’t stop talking ever we didn’t go out again officially but we were still sort of together and then I developed feelings for his friend who I wanted to like me back but honestly thinking about that I only wanted that for validation purposes and didn’t actually want to be with him my ex got really sad but never really told me about anything he still looked happy and we kissed and everything like that in secret but then he cheated on me with a girl he hasn’t met but only talks to on Skype he says he loves me but not like that and he wants to date her but they’re young and have no means of closing the distance for at least a few years so is it really worth it. I love him it took too long to realise it and he wants me to be his best friend like I was but today I accidentally slapped him because he kept calling me his friend and I got frustrated I don’t want friendship I want him back do I have a chance I’m willing to do anything for him I really care. I know I really hurt him told him he wasn’t good enough for me and all sorts but that was all in a haze of insecurity I still loved him then just didn’t realise it I took him for granted he loved me loads and in a way he still does but doesn’t know if he can come back to me because it hurt too much but still wants me in his life and doesn’t want me seeing other guys. What should I do? No contact?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 3, 2017 at 11:35 pm
Hi Lucy,
First, does that mean you’re going to make it official with your parents if you ever get back together?
Ace
March 1, 2017 at 2:57 am
Me and my ex boyfriend had been dating for almost a year. We did not have sex before we broke up more than a month ago. because I was busy and have no time to meet him. We have broken up for five months, we keep in touch, date and sleep in the first three months of breaking up but not often. One day after we met the day, his cell phone broadcast the wrong phone, I heard the phone there is a girl’s voice. I went to his house the next day and saw the room he didnt have time to clean up. He kept silent did not say anything, I hit him and smashed a lot of things. That is the last day we meet. 2 weeks later he text to me and told me he cannot leave me completely at the beginning of the break that was why he keep in touch with me but we broke up. He don’t wanan talk about the details of that girl. After that we dont talk anymore more than 1 month. Btw he’s a Muslim wants me to be an obedient girl. And now the girl live in his home almost 20 days. Is she a rebound? I have a chance to get him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 1, 2017 at 8:20 pm
Hi Ace,
it looks like she’s a grass is greener for him.. I think you need to check this one:
Do You Have The Same Values As Your Ex? (With Chase Kosterlitz)
letty
February 27, 2017 at 8:38 pm
My boyfriend and I had been in a relationship for seven years. The last two years we did long distance and we felt strong enough to get through it. However, in two months ago I was going through a bad depression and I pushed everyone away including him. I have gone through this depression before and pushed him away several times. It has only been a few days and we still talk on the phone about our relationship and how we wish we were able to go back in time.
He gravitated to his coworker who was also going through her issues with her husband. He broke up with me and told me that she meant alot to him. She was there for him emotionally and he feels like they really get along. I asked him if there was still a chance for us and he couldn’t respond.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 28, 2017 at 6:18 pm
Hi Letty,
Do you want to try the no contact rule? I think he’s in a grass is greener case. Open this link:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Sherisse
February 26, 2017 at 6:27 am
Hello,
I dated my ex for almost three years and I was his longest relationship ever. He broke up with me because he was not able to be emotionally supportive when I needed him the most when my 94-year-old grandmother suffered a stroke and cardiac arrest. Our break up talk was calm. He stated that he missed me but wanted to be single for a few years and he would never be with me again.
Part of the backstory is that for two years I waited for him to leave a toxic relationship with another. For two years, I watched him hurt and be abused physically and cheated on. He knew during this relationship I wanted him. But I waited patiently for him to snap out of it. Finally, the heavens opened and he was mine. Yet I paid for the indiscretions of his previous relationship with emotional abuse from him which subsided. For months in the beginning on the relationship, the ex-girlfriend would make her appearance sending me messages on social media and stalking us. I stayed by his side. He went to her house while I was at work to reconcile with her and forgive her for her actions but to put a stop to the stalking. I found out through her social media this meeting happened and people at work. I stayed by his side. He lied about having a restraining order against her. I stayed by his side.
I helped him get into school, wrote his resume, help his mom apply for jobs and wrote her resume, I was a big sister to his younger sister, cooked for him, cleaned for him, massages, took him on trips, supported his car hobby and photography hobby. Anything he wanted he knew he could get from me. Basically, everything I said I will only do for my husband I did for him without the ring but a promise of a future. But I wanted to be understood he did help me as well. The laptop, phone and wanting to cosign on my car (which I didn’t allow) he helped me with. It wasn’t one sided. I did all this while working two jobs, going to school, volunteering, battling depression and Lupus, and being a girlfriend with a lot of sex. I felt like superwoman.
Occasionally my insecurities showed due to the lying and him not expressing why he loved me and why he was with me. I would get caught looking through his phone in the past. That to subsided.
But as mentioned above my grandmother suffered a Stroke and cardiac arrest and while she was in the hospital he never showed emotional support. We fought for a few days straight because of it to the point I went over to his house at 2am. Although I was calm and he blew up it wasn’t pretty, His best friend and I paid for a trip for his birthday to New York. That’s when he came back on Dec 7th and broke up with me. He said that his friends influenced him to do it. Our break up talk was calm. He said that he would never date me again, but he missed me and wanted to be single for a few years. That’s where I agreed with him that I should be single as well. He quickly asked how long will I be single for. He sat in my car for a while fidgeting.
Since then I haven’t spoken to him directly. I have lost a lot of weight working out, traveling, picked up belly dancing, and have been working on my depression issues. my health is a thousand times better and obtained a scholarship for school. On paper, I am doing well but I am obsessing in my head regarding him. I noticed that he has been watching my snap chat stories and stayed friends with me on all social media. We share one job in common and when we are both working together he comes around the host stand trying to gain my attention to the point my co-workers noticed. When he sees that I am in the break room he quickly runs in. While I am straightening the restaurant tables he decides to help me but will not help another hostess. I have caught him on numerous times driving past my house. He went as far as sending a mutual friend to our job to inquire on how I felt working with him and how I am doing. Since I was working I couldn’t talk to the friend that much. Later I sent this text to our friend “The sad thing is he messed up a lot in the relationship but I always forgiven him. If he was to come back I know I will welcome him with open arms. He knows whatever he chooses I will support him and not fight him on it. That’s why our break up talk was calm. It’s just right now I love him too much to be his friend. But I can be civil.” That night he appeared in that friends snapchat story.
His mom and his sister still talk to me. I am too afraid of rejection to engage in contact directly even though I have been reaching out indirectly through snapchat. I do not know what to do. He is a highly attractive guy and I do not want to lose him but do not want to appear desperate. I fear that he is showing interest to another girl at his other job. How does one becoming intriguing enough to encourage her ex to initiate contact even though he initiated the break up?
We both want to travel and have a secure future for children for ourselves. We went as far as picking out names for our children. I never slept over a guy’s house till he came into the picture. A lot of my first occurred with him. I look at our pictures and videos and get teary eyed. We had a few ups and downs which is normal. He is my Aladdin and I want him back.
Please help me,
Jasmine to his Aladdin.
Here is an update:
My school work is now starting to suffer and I am missing deadlines and failing tests. My stress migraines are at an all-time high. He is currently on vacation in Denver with the buddy that convinced him to break up with me. I am losing my mind because that was a trip that he and I should have been on together. I feel as though he will be having the time of his life without me. So far, I lost a grand total of 22 pounds since Dec 7th. This is a mixture of lost appetite, working out, picked up belly dancing, and walking 3 to 4 miles a day. Besides the usual watching my snapchats, I haven’t worked with him.
I found out that he is now in a relationship just after 11 weeks of breaking up with the girl from his other job as I feared. It was made facebook official this past Tuesday. I sent him a lengthy text wishing him luck in his life and career and stated I was never ok with the break up and that I love him still. I knew he read it (the power of iphones). I had to leave work early because I couldn’t work feeling this way. I donated his things to goodwill, blocked him from Instagram and facebook, deleted over 1100 pictures and videos of us, and threw away notes.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 26, 2017 at 7:38 pm
Hi Sherisse,
when did you send that text? If you mean you did the no contact rule, how long did you do it?
Kaitlin
February 21, 2017 at 7:22 am
My ex and I have a 3 month old son, he broke up with me February 7, 2017 when he was caught by my sister in a parking lot with another girl a coworker in his car when he had told me he was locking up and closing at work. He is now in a relationship with this girl less than a week after breaking up with me and I guess he was fired from his job after the owners finding out about him hooking up with a coworker as he was a manager. We both are 26 and he has 2 kids from a previous relationship and this new girl is 20 years old which I don’t believe is ready to raise all his kids and play house just yet. He cheated yet I still want to work things out and have my family back but he doesn’t want anything to do with me because he’s “moved on” with this girl. What are my chances of him coming back to me and this just being a rebound relationship?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 21, 2017 at 11:19 pm
Hi Kaitlin,
I’m afraid, it’s a grass is greener one. Check this out:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Kelly
February 18, 2017 at 4:35 am
Hi,
I just need help. I was with my partner for five and a half years. We have two children together. After the birth of our second child he became withdrawn and ultimately broke up with me, and it turns out had another woman. I start to try and pick up the pieces of my life and three months later he wants me back. There is alot of back and forward where he says he’ll do anything, then a few days later says it’s not worth it etc. Anyway the woman he was seeing was married and whilst we were about to get back together the husband commits suicide. He says he can’t cut her off now etc so I tell him to leave me alone then because she’ll always be between us. Anyway time goes by and he wants me back again and this time I agree. But I say he has to cut her off. He made all of these promises about how it would be different and what he wanted to do with me…. Anyway I pretty much forced him to cut contact and when I did he changed. We spent two months ‘trying’. He wouldn’t want to spend any time with me, said my expectations were too high and defended her all the time. I just had a gut feeling it wasn’t over. Anyway just over a week ago he reached out to her again and then he turned completely cold towards me. He says he feels nothing for me, even though two days before he was telling me how much he loves me, and he says he can’t let her go. Is this a rebound still? Or is it just that he really does feel nothing for me? It hurts so much more the second time around.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 20, 2017 at 3:14 pm
Hi Kelly,
nope, she’s a grass is greener for him.. check this:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends