Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
Traits Avoidants Find Attractive
What Happens When A Narcissist Collapses?
How Do Avoidants Sabotage A Relationship?
Dismissive Avoidants And The No Contact Rule
The Power Of Silence After Rejection
Why Are Dismissive Avoidants Cruel?
The #1 Reason A Man Suddenly Commits
How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
Post categories
Isabel
February 16, 2017 at 4:56 am
Me and my boyfriend had been dating for almost a year. Although prior to dating he had been trying to win me over for months. We had a good relationship for the first 7 months but then i moved to a different city for school. We still talked everyday and id come home often to see him, but we started fighting quite a bit and i knew the distance was hard on both of us. Everything seemed fine until two weeks before we broke up. We got in a bad fight one day over nothing and i feel that he was going to break up with me that night but couldn’t do it. We hung out that night and we expressed our frustrations with each other and he kept telling me how i was one of the best things that had ever happened to him and how much he loved me and cute stuff while crying. But he also said the distance was so hard and how he was just so sad all the time because he missed me and he wasn’t sure if he could do it anymore with all the other pressures and the fighting. We already had very busy schedules and i knew for the next couple months it would be very hard for us to see each other. I think he let it get to him. We ended up going on a break for a week. He said he needed space. The week after when we talked he seemed cold and distant. We broke up but as cliche as it sounds we agreed to try and be friends again, he said “maybe thats what we need for now” so for the first week we talked on and off. He refused to talk about our relationship. All his friends and family were shocked. Im close with his mom and she had no idea and said it didn’t make sense. The second week we got into a fight and he ended up friend zoning me, and told me to leave him alone. ( Later he apologized to me about this and said that the fight we had, gave him a small breakdown) We went a couple weeks without talking and then i got home and found out he had started talking to another girl we work with. I knew she had liked him before. We ended up talking on the phone one night because he had heard that i had thought he had cheated on me. He quickly dispelled of that rumour, which he’s not the kind of guy to cheat. We talked about our break up finally after a month, and when i asked about the girl and how he had gotten over me so fast his reply was. We started talking about two weeks ago we are just hanging out, and with regards to the getting over part he said, i didn’t. He sounded quite upset during the conversation. I don’t know what to make of it. He had worked so hard to be with me, loved me so much then all of a sudden broke it off and started seeing a new girl 2 weeks later. Everyone is shocked and doesn’t understand. Please help me
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 16, 2017 at 7:29 pm
Hi Isabel,
yeah she’s probably a rebound. Are you going to do no contact rule?
Kyristal
February 8, 2017 at 7:50 am
Hi Amor,
My ex and I dated for 2,5 half years. Our relationship was like a ove story, we shared so much things together. He was always telling me he is so comfortable with me, and I am his everyting. We were in distance relationship after 8 months.
He was living in another country. When his roomie left, he and another his roomie decided to take another roomie. I was not fine with taking a girl roomie, since I am bit jealous. I told this to him when we were together. He told me the girl that they selected as a roomie is not even pretty, and she is just a roomie, so there is no point I was jealous, and I should not worry about that. Somehow, we broke up, I mean he broke up with me and I had to accep it. I never begged him, or told him I love him or miss him after our break up. I dont even like any single pictures of him on social media. We are still friends on social media, all our pictures are on social media, both of us did not delete any single one. He mostly likes my pictures on Instagram, looks at my snaps. I was feeling he was missing me. Soon or later, he was going to write me that he is missing me, and he made a mistake. I was thinking that till I saw the post with the roomie. I guess they are together, I mean I am sure they are together. I know this kind of girls. She seems like low esteem girl and she will go to the guy that is destroed emotionally after the break up. She just moved to his apartment 1,5 months ago, and we broke up 2 months ago. I cannot believe she is totally fine that my ex keeps my pics on instagram, and facebook. I dont know who I am angry at most -him, or her-. I guess I am more angry at her than him. I cannot understand how a woman can do that to another woman. I would never date a guy just broke up with his girlfriend just 2 months ago, and I know that he may be still emotionally attachhed to her.
Anyway, I dont care actually if they are in rebound, or in a serious relationship, or they are going to marry next week, I just want to know how I can move on while I have to see their posts…
I cannot delete my ex on my social media. I just cant. I promised myself,, I will handle with this situuation as mature as possible, so deleting him is not mature for me.
At this point, I need your help Amor. Thanks,
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2017 at 3:45 pm
Hi Kyristal,
you have to acknowledge, feel and go through the pain.. The process of improving, healing and growing during no contact is actually the same process of moving on..The difference is you dont initiate contact after being silent..You just continue widening your world, improving yourself and healing.. the pain will not go away immediately. You have to be active despite the pain..
Camille Hbln
February 7, 2017 at 7:56 pm
Hi Amor,
My ex and I broke up, December 2016. We’ve been through for 9months I know that we have a serious relationship because his family knows about us and I always sleep with his house. Then our friends told me that start of January this year he’s flirting with someone new. He’s chatting with someone new. But we have still contact. We’re keeping in touch. Everytime I post on facebook. He always reacted about it. And he’s acting so weird. We’re not friend on facebook but he followed me. I think he always updated on me. I think he always checking my profile. Coz everytime I having a new post. He started asked me. Why? What happened to you!? My questions are Do you think he is in a rebound relationship? Is there any chances were getting back together? Lastly, I have confusion about this matter I don’t know if he is accidentally wrong send his message or he has a purpose to do it. WERE NOT TEXTING THAT DAY, BUT IN THE EVENING HE SEND ME A TEXT MESSAGE THAT’S NOT MEANT FOR ME. What’s that? Accidentally or Intentionally?
Camille Hbln
February 8, 2017 at 5:38 am
The text like “nonsense text.” It’s like this “Are we searching? Just suggest.” He is using android phone. And I ask a lot of my friends, if they accidentally send to someone that it’s not meant for that person. But all of them said “NO” they think my ex is “INTENTIONALLY” wrong send his message to get me hurt or jealous but I don’t think so if it’s true.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2017 at 1:03 pm
can be a wrong sent message but for now, try the no contact rule and check this too:
Getting An Army, Military Or Navy Ex Boyfriend Back
Camille Hbln
February 8, 2017 at 5:32 am
Amor, he is at militar training that time. For 6 mons we have no communication and sometimes he called me if he’s not busy then at first I initiate break up because I think “he’s changed” and I thought when everytime he always says that “I love you” I felt it just a routinal. For short we think our love it’s just be gone. But before he enter in militar training we’re so in love each other I know that coz I feel it. I don’t know why it’s happening to us. And now, he’s on dating someone new. What should I do? I want him back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2017 at 12:04 am
Hi Camille,
Why did you break up and what was the text?
Len
February 2, 2017 at 9:17 am
Hi
Was wondering if you could help out maybe I was with my partner for 14 and half years very up and down relationship but we loved each other we have a 12 year old daughter who only knows it to be mum and dad all her life. Anyway I split up with him on August 2016 and he begged me to come back but I just wanted him to change anyway late Aug/sept takes herself on boys holiday he’s 38!!! Meets a 25 year old and falls in love didn’t tell me for a while he spent Christmas with her and just forgot about how family he’s also just took her on a amazing holiday. I’m very stubborn haven’t begged or pleaded and have just let him get on with it hoping he will see sense but he seems besotted with her anyway he has just told my daughter about her and that has hurt because I feel that he wouldn’t of done it if he wasn’t serious do you think it’s no longer a rebound or was it ever a rebound
Thanks len
Nicola
February 3, 2017 at 11:01 pm
Thank you
I have improved a lot I only texts about my daughter I never mention the girl he always texts back straight away I can’t compete with this girl she is 25 and stunning I’m 40 and a mother …..when he is back in our area and on he’s own he always try’s to make small talk by phone but I don’t hear from him when he is with her
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 4, 2017 at 12:14 pm
don’t say that. That’s more of having a low self esteem than just because you’re forty and a mom.. There’s nothing wrong being you..being attractive is not about the age and in being single… It’s a mix of physical looks, personality and character factors.. Being physically beautiful is not just one category too..
Nicola
February 3, 2017 at 8:14 pm
Thank you for reply
So I shoul just give up thinking they will end soon they are long distance so only see each other 3-4 days a week he seems happy so I will just let them be
Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 3, 2017 at 9:22 pm
hmm.. why not try to give the other girl a good competition first? Try minimal nc, start imoroving yourself massively and then slowly build rapport after..if it doesn’t work then move on..check this one:
Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have A Child Together
Nicola
February 3, 2017 at 8:48 am
Hi sorry could you explain why you think it’s a grasses greener more than a rebound we had only been split up 4-5 weeks
Thank you
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 3, 2017 at 6:26 pm
because if they have been together since september, then they’re more serious now..lets say she was a rebound when they started, that he used her to get over you, then his latest actions show that it’s starting to become more than a rebound now because he’s investing more in her.. He saw something great in her before to try it with her that lasted up to now to the point of introducing her to his child..
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 2, 2017 at 8:25 pm
Hi Len,
I think it’s a grass is greener..check this:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
tatyanna smith
January 31, 2017 at 10:46 pm
my ex boyfriend has been with his girlfriend (his ex before me) for a month. it will be 2 months next month. is it a rebound? he moved on back to her a week after we broke up.
tatyanna smith
February 1, 2017 at 1:08 pm
yes i know that i was but could she be one too? he was not over me when he got back with her
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 1, 2017 at 3:30 pm
Not really.. it can be that he realized he really loved or the grass was greener with her.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 1, 2017 at 12:34 pm
Hi Tatyanna,
actually it looks more like you were the rebound..
Shannon M
January 31, 2017 at 6:03 pm
I was with my ex boyfriend for 13 months, we broke up on new years Eve but spent the night together. We continued to speak but didn’t get back together he told me he still loved me on numerous occasions and that he still missed me but after around 2/3 weeks after the breakup he is already with another girl, they’re not technically in a relationship yet but they’re getting to that point, but only a few days ago he told me that he loved me. Is this a rebound?
Shannon M
February 1, 2017 at 2:56 pm
He met the girl around 2 weeks after we broke up.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 1, 2017 at 3:42 pm
ah yes, it’s probably a rebound
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 1, 2017 at 11:18 am
Hi Shannon M,
when did he meet the girl?
Elizabeth
January 28, 2017 at 6:47 pm
So my ex broke up with me 5 months ago and we were together for 6.5 years. We are both about to turn 25. When he broke up with me and was vaguely giving me the reasons for doing so, he told me that he didn’t have anything to offer me since he’s had a little bit of trouble getting a job in our town. Honestly I’m not sure if this really was a reason for our breakup or if he was just ranting to me. So a month later after our breakup, he tells me that he’s already seeing someone else. A month after that he tells me that he’s been spending a lot of time with her with kissing but that they were not an official couple yet. Around Christmas he tells me that she’s his official girlfriend. What i dont understand is if he told me that he didn’t have anything to offer me and is struggling in finding a job, then why would he be with this other girl? Is she just a rebound because he doesn’t want to be alone? Or is he actually serious about her?
Elizabeth
January 31, 2017 at 11:22 pm
Thank you Amor for your advice.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 1, 2017 at 12:35 pm
you’re welcome!
Elizabeth
January 30, 2017 at 7:32 pm
Thank you Amor. It could be the grass is greener syndrome. I have one more question. In another of Chris’s articles, he states that i should try to keep an eye on my ex’s new relationship to see how long it will last. How can I do that though if i dont have a Facebook and my ex blocked my phone number?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 31, 2017 at 2:50 pm
You have to create an account, not just to keep an eye on them but to show your improvements indirectly.. dont add him yet but add mutual friends
Elizabeth
January 29, 2017 at 3:22 pm
He told me that he met her at work and that she was new. I’m not really sure how “new” since I didn’t ask. It’s a possibility that he met her while we were still together.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 30, 2017 at 12:09 pm
it can be a grass is greener case
check the link below.
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Elizabeth
January 28, 2017 at 7:01 pm
When he broke up with me he also told me that he didn’t love me anymore.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 29, 2017 at 10:18 am
Hi Elizabeth,
it looks like he just used that as a break up reason.. did he meet the girl while you’re still together?
Crystal
January 28, 2017 at 2:34 pm
Me and my x bf where together for 6 yrs my daughter thinks of him as her father shes known him since she was two. We just recently broke up few weeks ago last month i had told him i was unfaithful to him. But since we r both recovery alcoholics we decided to take a lil break n come back n restart our relationship so he moved to his moms n i moved to my dads before we did we were intimate n he told me he lived me n not evenna few days after that maybe i wasnt giving hus space hes already talking to another girl n wanting to b serious with her. I dont wanna lose him i nade a mistake i learnt from it i dont wanna lose my family. What can i do? Does he even miss us he had called twice to c how we were doing but he said he cant see us becoming friends cause the girl is getting hurt n he doesnt want to hurt her idk what to do keep fighting for him or what. I mean as of right now things r getting better im bout to find another place very soon moving out of my dads n going back to work i was on sick leave. But i want him back please advice!
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 28, 2017 at 3:26 pm
Hi Crystal,
check this one:
Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)
Adeleye
January 26, 2017 at 6:31 am
So I just broke up with my first boyfriend of one year. He and I are in our 20’s. He has had many relationships before me. He was totally happy with me, the only problem was that he could not continue to practice abstinence with me. Don’t get me wrong, I think that I would have dumped him a little more down the line simply because our differences. But overall we were very happy. I could be over him but I found out that he was in a relationship less than a week after the breakup. We said that we would text everyday, but a few days after he didn’t seem too eager to get back to me. I made my peace with him being out there getting ass, but him being so quick to get into a relationship really hurts my feelings. He even said it was the longest he was even in a relationship. I haven’t contacted him in almost two weeks (That’s how long we’ve been broken up). I just want to know if I can text him and confront him about moving on so quickly? Also when he is going to realize he still misses me (will it be when he is with that girl)? It pisses me off because it makes me feel like he could erase that year so quickly. I want to be mourned over at least a little. I don’t want him back, I just want to know that he felt some difficulty after the break up. And I think he might have known the girl from before.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 26, 2017 at 1:06 pm
Hi Adeleye,
if it’s for moving on, then go ahead and ask
R
January 17, 2017 at 7:49 am
When my ex bf and I broke up, 5 weeks ago he left it open ended saying maybe we would get back together someday. I went into no contact, began talking again and asked to meet for drinks. He said he couldn’t that day, but when I asked again, said after thinking about it he didn’t think it was a good idea. I asked him to meet to clarify the lack of closure. We met up and he continued the same story. Finally I asked if he was seeing anyone else. He met a girl at a bar 5 days after we broke up and had been on many dates and slept together. They are not officially together but he told me he is seeing what happens with her. I told him it is a rebound relationship and he said he knows. He told me he knows he is dumb and that I am being smart working on myself. I said I am out of his life and not a backup plan for anyone. He admitted to unintentially stringing me along incase he realizes this was a mistake. I am disappointed that I spent this time making myself better while he was off sleeping with someone else instead. I do feel like after talking, even if he realizes his mistake, he will not reach out as I made it clear I don’t deserve this.
R
January 18, 2017 at 12:23 am
I definitely agree. More disappointed that he chose to just ignore dealing with his feelings and masking it with another girl so quickly
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 17, 2017 at 7:08 pm
Hi R,
no self improvement is a waste.. even if you lost him, you still have your better self..
Diana
January 16, 2017 at 3:34 am
I was with my ex about 4 years and we have a child together. I left in June of 2016, hoping some things would change and he would wake up. So it seemed like over the summer he was trying and he would still come over and stay with me. But 2 months later in August it came out that he had been seeing someone else, and it came out only because she made him tell me and he called me while she was there. I guess she was feeling insecure like he still cared about me and knew he was hiding her still from me.
After that I freaked out and talked bad about her to him and got really needy calling him and desperately trying to get him back. It seemed to push him away more to her, although he was still flirting with me when she wasn’t around he still was choosing to be with her. It really hurt and I wanted our family back together. So I finally backed off about a month and a half ago and did no contact and if we did talk it was just about our daughter. I’ve also been making positive changes and trying to move on.
So now he’s mean to me and talks to mean and he wasn’t like that before. I still don’t let it get to me and I just turn it around by being kind. But it’s like he’s now purposely going out of his way to show that he’s with this girl and rub it in. He tells me to hurry and pick up my daughter and won’t drop her off just so I can see her car at his house. If he is supposedly happy with this girl why still try to be so hateful now and I just don’t give a reaction to it because it’s to obvious what he’s doing and I don’t give him satisfaction. But it’s hard dealing with this moodiness and I still secretly wish he’d call and say he made a mistake and want his family back together. Any insight to this situation?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 16, 2017 at 7:20 pm
Hi Diana,
I think you’re right..I think he’s still trying to control you in that way. Trying to see if you will be shaken if he continues to be angry
Cams
January 11, 2017 at 3:58 pm
Hi!
Please help me to get back my ex to me. I’m so in love with him. I dumped him last Dec 14, coz I think there’s no spark at all. But after a couple of days, I realized how much I love him, I’ll try to call him. The bad thing I begged him to come back, he was so disgusted and upset to me. I’ll try it for so many times, but it doesn’t work. Until 1 day, I saw this article I started to “No-contact rule.” I follow your advice after having 5 days no contact. He was chatting my sister to say like this, “Please do me a favor to take care of your sister just for me” then I started to chat him again to clarify things on Dec 29 but I think that’s the bad idea I went through he gets angry at me again. Then I continue to chat to begged him. He was so angry that time. He told me “I don’t love you anymore, just stay away from me” I don’t know what to do. I’m a little bit confused. Thank you in advance. Have a good day!❤
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 13, 2017 at 9:17 am
Hi Cams,
don’t beg.. This time, restart the no contact rule. Do 30 days, start a new routine that you will continue even after 30 days while rebuilding rapport and improve massively
Jays
January 11, 2017 at 2:31 pm
Hello!
I was with my boyfriend for two years. Shortly after our 2nd anniversary he decided to move away. I live in Europe and he’s in Asia now. (For work to get his career started and he also has a part of his family there. ) Before he left we promised each other that we will be strong and get through our long distance relationship until I finish uni and he’s established his living and work career. That then we will decide what will be the next step. He also said that if we get through this, we will get married and that he knows what he wants from life. But after he moved away he became little distant saying he’s been stressed and busy because his work stuff wasn’t working out as they were supposed. I was upset a we argued.
Then one day he broke up with me saying I should move on and that this long distance is not working out. It’s been about month or so. I found out that he is probably seeing someone else and he’s posting stuff like love songs or quotes on his social accounts. (He doesn’t know I can see that) He said to me that they’re not together few times when I mentioned it. But I think they are. He just want to doesn’t to say so. I sent him a gift for Christmas. It was a bracelet. And when I asked him if he will send it back after our breakup, he said NO, that he will wear it. We’ve been texting every once in a while.
He liked my photos na facebook. We talked what’s new and how his work and life is going. He said that everything sucks. I don’t know. One dayI feel like he still cares about me but then my friends tell me about this other girl. I feel so hurt that he found someone else and he’s so open about it on social media. I dont know what to think or do. Do you think we still have a chance of ever getting back together? I don’t mean now but in maybe in future. I still love him very much. Do you think that I should try to get him back? Or does it seem like he really love that girl and we don’t have a chance?
Jays
January 16, 2017 at 1:46 pm
It seems like she belongs to his new group of friends. And that they are getting closer to each other. I feel kind of discouraged. He’s kind of really affectionate towards her on social media. He wasn’t like that with me. Do you think I still have a chance? Should I continue with the plan or just move on?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 16, 2017 at 8:34 pm
continue on with the plan first..if it doesn’t work out, then that’s when you move on..
Jays
January 15, 2017 at 3:16 pm
I’m on 6th day of NC. For how long do you think I should do NC?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 15, 2017 at 6:56 pm
at least 30 days.. be productive too and active in posting..
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 13, 2017 at 8:46 am
Hi Jays,
she’s more likely a rebound.. Why not try doing the no contact rule first
Gee
January 11, 2017 at 7:39 am
Hi Ex Boyfriend Recovery Team!!
I really learned a lot on your site. I just bothered with my ex’s actions. Here’s the thing it was a year when me & my ex for 5 years broke up. He cheated on me but i know to myself that im still into him. Since the break up he already dating 2 other girls. First is the reason why we broke up second is his new girlfriend but in between these 2 relationships we also dated unofficially.. We didn’t work out because he don’t want to commit to me and he tell me that he still need a time for himself. And after a days or week of not contacting me I seen him posting on social media that he was so in love with his new girlfriend. I’m really shock cause he never tell anything about this girl but I can’t do anything cause we are not official. The only thing I can do is to accept the fact that he have a new girlfriend.
We still have a communication cause his work is related to mine but we never talk about our personal issue. But sometimes I feel that he making excuses to talk to me because his workmate was really the one who need to contact me. Am I overthinking? Is this new relationship a rebound? Is it really easy for a guy to forget a 5 years relationship? Hope you can help me. Thank you in advance..
Gee
January 13, 2017 at 5:47 am
Thanks for the reply Amor!!
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 13, 2017 at 3:25 pm
you’re welcome!
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 11, 2017 at 1:23 pm
Hi Gee,
she’s more likely a grass is greener case..check this:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Mary
January 10, 2017 at 5:08 am
My ex and I dated for 2.5 we had gone through so much more than any normal couple goes through in 2.5 years, but in the end of our relationship we were fighting horrible and taking short breaks from each other in the end of October 2016 and shortly I broke up with him on November 15 2016 he tried contacting me for awhile after the break up but I didn’t answer him, I figured he would come back to me and we’d be okay but its been a month and a half and we haven’t spoke since. He has had a new gf since December 1 2016 so like 2 weeks after the break up he got with this new girl. He has also deleted me off of all social media and I tried the whole no contact rule but it didn’t work out I would blow up his phone up saying I was wrong for leaving him and would never get a response from him. I messaged him on December 23 2016 and finally got a response which ended with him saying he wanted nothing to do with me… and I haven’t had any contact with him since… I want to get back with him but I feel its already too late. He has this new girlfriend and said he wants nothing to do with me. If you have any advice for me on trying to get him back or even if you think theres a chance let me know!
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 11, 2017 at 8:45 am
Hi Mary,
there’s a small chance, especially that you chased him after knowing he has a gf..any attempt sooner will look like chasing too..realistically you’re best chance is to try at least 45 days nc and massively improve, move on without fully moving on. So, that when you initiate contact he would take a chance on being friends because he knows you’ve moved on
Kate
January 7, 2017 at 4:21 am
Hello,
Me and my ex dated on and off for five yrs during college. We broke up and remained in contact for another 5 yrs. He always would tell me how he wanted me back and wanted a second chance. Last year I gave it to him, we talked long distance for 6 months then he moved to China (where I was living at the time) to be with me. Immediately things went south. We fought ALOT. A month and a half of him being there I found out I’m pregnant. We moved back to my hometown (which he was against) and in with my father. After about two months of fighting, he told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. I found out that really he has met someone else at his job. I confronted the girl, but that did not stop them from presueing the relationship. I cried and begged him to reconsider for about a month. Then I blocked him. I only see him during Dr’s visits or it something wrong and I have to go to the hospital. He calls me every three or four days to check on me and the baby, but that’s it. I don’t know if this rebound relationship stems out of his fear of life changing, if I should look for him to come back to our family once the baby is born. If I should cut him off (because he says he wants to be involved with the baby) just not me. Last month he told me that he loves her and they went on a vacation for New Years. Some advise would be nice.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 8, 2017 at 5:56 pm
Hi Kate,
nope, it’s a grass is greener case.. check the links below.
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
EBR 038: Pregnancy & Ex Boyfriends
Daisy
January 5, 2017 at 11:10 am
Dear EBR team,
I have been in a LDR for 1,5 yrs and he broke up with me 1 month ago. The reason he gave me was that he cannot imagine a future with me anymore. As heartbroken as I am, I set up an NC trying to cope with it as well as I possibly can – and it does help, I feel I can finally move forward with positivity. I am discovering myself, have forgiven myself, him and the relationship. Now, I am not sure I actually want him back though but he messaged me a few times and I am not sure how to deal with it. I know (from different) sources he is in a rebound relationship right now – a girl who is the complete opposite of myself. Of course it affected me emotionally but I have no right to say anything and I seem to have accepted it that he is dealing with the breakup in a different way. Overall, I am okay with it.
But still, he sends me those ambigous messages saying he really wants us to be friends. I am clearly not ready to be friendzoned, I have set my value and worth too high to be degraded by him as a “backup”. I will be ready at some time because I value him as a person but he has lost a great extent of respect and trust from me due to this rebound relationship. Is this normal? Can we possibly be friends or even lovers again if I feel like this?
Thanks for your help! Best regards, Daisy
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 7, 2017 at 4:38 am
Hi Daisy,
Yeah, over time. But I like that you know your standards. Stick to it. Move on for now. Later on, when you’ve healed, improved, have your own life and grown, that would be a better time in life to be friends again.
Emma
January 3, 2017 at 2:46 am
My ex boyfriend and I recently broke up last December. I found out that he cheated on me. When I confronted him, he told me that he doesnt love me anymore and the girl who he cheated with was way better than me. He barely know her. She was a thousand miles away from and they only met through organization meetings which by the way will likely end this summer. After a week, he still texted me that he missed me and sometimes wanted me to sleep in his house. He wanted to have lunch or dinner with me. I asked him, “What is she(new girl) to you really?” And then he told me she was nothing to him. When he wants to hve dinner I am always there for him. But then one day I got fed up. I got fed up that he texts me if he wants to see me but then he is still pursuing the new girl. So I told the new girl about my ex still texting me and saying this things. My ex was very angry at me and cursed me a lot. After the heated conversations with him through the phone he told me that he loves her. He unfriended me in facebook and posted a pic with his new girl. His friends reaction were like are you sure about this. They were shocked. And these events happened in a short span of 3weeks. From the time we broke up until the time that he and his new girl became official was in a span of 3weeks. They are in a long distance relationship and as I can remember my ex told me when we were still together that he doesnt believe that a long distance relationship can work. Is his relationship with the girl just a rebound? We were together for 2years and 6months.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 5, 2017 at 1:27 pm
Hi Emma,
I don’t think you should believe him and it looks like a grass is greener case. Check this:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Alice
January 3, 2017 at 12:42 am
I know this is from the other angle, but basically he cheated on his girlfriend of a year and a half with me, ended things straight away with her but we continued seeing each other. Though I have seen recently that they’ve been in contact with eachother, am I the rebound girl?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 5, 2017 at 1:10 pm
Hi Alice,
nope, you’re more like the grass is greener case for him..
Alexis
January 2, 2017 at 9:32 am
Hi! I’ve been in a relationship with my ex for two years, we were engaged and everything! He broke it off three weeks ago, because he wanted to be alone. A week later, he’s with another girl. This was a girl he dated before, but it didn’t work out. Anyways, I was desperate the first week, begged for him back. I’ve been in NC for two weeks. Today, I tried getting ahold him, so I could get my things that were still at his place. His girlfriend didn’t hesitate to message back and say they were happy, and to leave them alone. I wasn’t even trying to bother. Now, I see posts of them saying how happy they are and how their relationship is going to last forever! I’m crushed, and I need help. Do I block both of them on everything, so I don’t have to see that? But if I do, will he forget about me? And do your think there’s a possibility he would ever come back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 4, 2017 at 5:32 pm
Hi Alexis,
if they were talking to each other before the break up, then that means it’s a grass is greener case.. Two weeks is too short, espcially that is after you begged and chased.. so, naturally they would think it’s another one of your tactic when you asked for your things.. So, if you are going to restart the count, do 45 days.. If they just talked after the break up, she’s probably a rebound, you have a higher chance