6 Signs That Prove Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (And What To Do With Them)

2,943 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”

Joseph A Torres

October 5, 2020 at 4:51 am

Hey I have been in a 11 year commitment with this lady. Towards the end I let depression and worry in myself push her away. She recently got a friend and in two days she handed me her ring and said she let a FB friend get too close. They made their relationship official 6 days later. We have a 3 sons together. She says she loves me still and always will but she doesn’t think we are destined to be soulmates. I have started day 1 of no contact. I am devastated. My son misses me. He told me however mom has been really happy with this new guy. We have broken up before but we found our way back. I still very much love her and I would do anything for another chance! I also moved out to give her the breakup she wanted. She has no job and so I will be paying all the bills for the home. Will this mean anything to her? Will she realize that I truly am not one to lose?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 7, 2020 at 6:22 pm

Hi Joseph, so as much as I say you need to provide for your boys, you do not fork out for her to live her life! Give her notice and tell her that you are going to be paying to live in your own place soon so she needs to get a job and start funding her own life!! Tell her you are willing to give maintenance, but it is not for her to live in a house that you pay for! Stick with a limited no contact, keep in touch with your children and avoid her as much as you can. Work on yourself and take care of your mental health first and foremost, the boys need a happy dad!

kath

September 18, 2020 at 5:27 pm

Is my ex in a rebound?
He was stringing me a long and her a long at the same time. When I found out about her I went mad at him and said that’s disrespectful to both of us. I then went and don’t her what was happening and she has blocked me. I see on one her pages She continues to post pictures of them together but my ex doesn’t post her at all. What on earths that all about? Is she in denial? Is he maybe just using us both?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 4, 2020 at 9:42 pm

Hi Kath it does not sound like a rebound it sounds as if he is cheating / playing you both. The OW has probably blocked you because he has lied and told her a different story. I would suggest that you look at this as a lucky escape

Eve

September 15, 2020 at 6:32 pm

So basically I, (40f) friends for over 3 years, we were in a relationship but not defined – met each month for a few days, spent time opening up to each other, he told me all his insecurities and vulnerabilities etc, the chemistry was amazing.

This year, he put in huge effort, making plans for our future & told me wanted to make our relationship official, he wanted marriage, kids, a house. We live 100kms apart but I was planning to move to his town & he was talking about where we would live.

When I turned 40, he freaked out and dumped me over age gap. It actually had been brilliant upto that day. Age hadn’t come up prior as it’s only this year we were official. He thought the gap was 5/6 years, not 8.

After he dumped me, I tried to talk to him but he kept it friendly. I initiated contact, he never did. Then 2 months after breakup and no contact, I messaged him and then after a few messages, asked if we could meet, he said he would but told me he started seeing somebody. He said he wanted to stay in contact. We live too far apart to bump into each other.

After 2 more weeks, I could see he was online all the time – he only messaged me before on it (for 3 years he only text me on it due go his dyslexia/bad at reading). I knew he was texting her. So I text him to thank him for the happy memories and to say I couldn’t stay in contact and I was deleting him off social media so i could move on. He said he hoped we can reconnect in time and said he was sorry the way it all went. I think that was just being polite or for his validation.

It’s now 4 months after breakup and I deleted his number too. I don’t know 100% but don’t think he knew her before. It just pains so much that he made plans with me and 2 months later is with someone else.

I’m in no contact but really thought he was “the one”. I still love him and have tried to move on but the 2 dates I made myself go on, I could only think about him.

I’m struggling to accept it all and I would still get back together but is there too much to hold out any hope, now that he is seemingly so happy with her? Is the age gap too much and he thinks 40 is too old for kids etc.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 4, 2020 at 6:10 pm

Hi Eve, that is difficult when he thinks you are too old, but if you can show that you are interested in having children yourself then maybe that will change his mindset and also look out for some articles about how to follow the being there method while he is with this new person. You need to start the program with a 45 day No Contact period.

Samm

September 12, 2020 at 2:07 am

My ex was seeing somebody for 2/3 months (at least) behind my back and lied to me every day about it. We officially ended once I caught them kissing. We’ve had ONE phone call since this all happened. She has blocked me on absolutely everything and has not once contacted me. I’ve been doing no contact towards her. Will she ever regret this and come back to me? I’m in so much pain every day and I don’t know how to let her and the hope go.
Sue

September 3, 2020 at 10:51 pm

My ex (47) and I (43) were together for 3 years, had a great relationship, we broke up in February, bc his I annoy his kids (16&19), I talk too much, ask too many questions, my person out over the top, out of guilt, his kids run the show. We remained friends, then w/ benefits, until June. I gave key back and had no contact. He reached out to me 3-4 weeks later, he misses me….He started seeing someone mid July (I asked if he was dating), he says he likes her, even introduced her to family. He’s been in contact with me, hangs out with me (gf doesn’t know). I’m confused, he’s sorry we couldn’t work, says we have a bond that can never be broken, misses me, cares about me so much, we have something magical, wants to be friends, spends the night (no sex), texts me all week, but not weekends. Does he really want to be friends? Is he confused? I told him I refuse to be a secret or the other woman.I love him and I’m not sure I can handle being friends at this time. He said it not fair he shouldn’t contact me, but there’s something that brings him back. We have a very special connection…What are the chances of us being a couple again? I don’t want to date anyone else….Can his new relationship last? He basically is cheating and not telling his gf the truth.
I want us back together and last forever. I don’t like him dating, it hurts like hell. Why does he want to be my friend and not my lover if he really feels the way he says about us?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 25, 2020 at 8:25 pm

Hi Sue, essentially you are doing what we call the being there method, and you are doing it well!! But your ex is getting the best of both worlds because the girlfriend does not know about you, I can imagine she wouldnt be happy about him spending so much time with you if she did. I would suggest that you attempt the flirting and spending time together publicly and even in “romantic” settings. He is comparing you to her most likely and deciding which is best.

As for the relationship you had with his kids, if you could work out a way for them to like you then things may work with your ex better. This can be hard, teens can be awkward especially if they do not like that their dad is dating in general. But just leave them alone and let them come to you if they want to talk.

John

August 18, 2020 at 5:42 pm

Hello guys,
So my ex girlfriend left me in January as it was not working. We ended up getting back together in June for 2 months but during that period she met someone else and left me for him. I went no contact after that for 2 weeks and reached out. She responded saying she is well but can’t speak to me as would be not fair on her new guy she is seeing. I responded by saying i was happy for her and that i was just clearing the air of any tension. I have now gone no contact as dont know what else to do. Should I wait it out? Should I reach out after 45 days? Should I never reach out again unless she does. It took her 4 weeks to be officially seeing someone new.

Thanks and i would really appreciate your help as it’s causes me a lot of stress.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 5, 2020 at 8:56 pm

Hi John you need to go 45 days no contact before reaching out – and when you do make sure that you are following the information about the being there method

Emma

August 17, 2020 at 3:27 pm

My ex is with someone new. He started a relationship with her whilst we were trying to sort things out. He didn’t tell me he was speaking to her and meeting her as he didn’t know where it was going to lead. He finished things with me without telling me about her. I found out 2 months later! He has confided in me about personal things relating to him and her when he was intimate. Thinking he had moved on too soon. He has made it known that he has met her family and is happy in his new relationship. We have two kids and wants to see them once every two weeks so he can see her and spend time with her. Since he met her, he has started drinking and smoking. He has changed his personality and is always so awkward around me. I just don’t understand what’s going on!? I try to move on and somehow he manages to pull me back in. Can you advise?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

August 17, 2020 at 10:34 pm

Hey Emma, so he does not want you to move on as you are his “back up” as he knows he can come back if he wanted to. Read and follow the limited no contact rule. As for him changing, this often happens when you get into new relationships, but it wouldnt last long if he does not like that lifestyle. Stop speaking to him unless it is about your children health, safety or visitations. Let him feel like he has lost you. Do not let him come to you to talk about the OW or their relationship, read articles about being Ungettable too

Elizabeth

August 13, 2020 at 3:57 pm

My boyfriend (24) just broke up with me (21) about a month and a half ago. He started to get feelings for another girl that he works with and started to lose feelings for me. Our relationship was very strong. I don’t think either of us ever saw this coming. After we broke up he started sleeping with the other girl (meanwhile she has a boyfriend) she eventually broke up with her boyfriend and is expecting a relationship from my ex. She already wants to meet his parents and start dating while he isn’t exactly ready. Both of them are in a really bad mental state right now. The girl is self harming, while my ex has become extremely depressed, irritable, drinking a lot and only seeing this other girl. Both of their families think them being together is a bad idea. My ex and I recently started talking after a month of no contact which is how I found all this out. There was a day where he called me and said he felt he wanted to get back together. We talked, I told him he had to be 100% sure and then he started to tell me about his feelings for this other girl and that he wasn’t sure. A few days later he told me he was sorry for getting my hopes up and thinks that we would just never work out. He told me he is 1000% percent sure that he wants me in his life forever. That we are and will always be best friends and family. Both of us still have our social media profile pictures together and relationship status together. I’m getting a lot of mixed signals from him. Do you think this girl could be a rebound? I want to get back together with him but I’m just so confused.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

August 15, 2020 at 1:52 pm

Hi Elizabeth, it doesn’t sound like a rebound it sounds as if he has grass is greener syndrome, this is where he thinks that the new girl is a better match for him than what you were. You can change this by working on yourself in the sense, that you work to be the best version of yourself. Read about the Holy Trinity and being Ungettable.

Arya

August 10, 2020 at 8:57 pm

Hi. Me and my ex broke up a year ago but kept seeing each other until May. Then she started dating a friend of hers so we stopped. He took her on a vacation and things quickly turned more serious, while I did all the classic mistakes: begging, arguing etc. After no contact for a month I reached out and she wanted to see me. She told me she loved me, but also loved him. She said she thought we were twin flames and that I was the funniest, most interesting person she knew, but that she didnt think we could have stable relationship without arguing. At least not now. I was her first boyfriend. She told me I was the most handsome man in the world and that I was the only one she ever wanted kids with, but that the new guy was incredible kind and made her feel calm while I stressed her. She wanted to give him a chance but still wanted to be friends. I said no. He is the total opposite of me but they’ve seen each other for 2-3 months now and everything seems perfect between them. I think they match better sexually as he is quite short (as her) while I’m taller and sex would sometimes hurt for her. I know no one talks to her like I do or makes her laugh like me, but I think he is kinder and more patient.

I haven’t seen her now for a couple of weeks and we are not in contact. Last time I saw her she told me she talks to me in her mind. I’m improving day by day and have never been closer to having normal, healthy routines. Will she come back? I think the new guy is so nice and stable that they might be together for a long time.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 5, 2020 at 9:17 pm

Hey Arya, so if this guy is getting the brownie points for being patient and kind. Then show kindness, show patience. Volunteer at a charity, show on social media you are doing these things. Be sure to complete a 45 days NC and then start reaching out with the being there method.

Irene

August 6, 2020 at 2:54 am

Hi,
I am wondering if I have lost him for good and if he is in a rebound relationship. This is a guy that I never got into a committed boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, but we basically had a friends with benefits situation for 3 years. We exchanged gifts on Christmas, hung out together, and more. From what I have observed, it seems that he hasn’t wanted to be serious with me since I betrayed his trust by trying to pursue a few other guys early on when I was seeing him/ first met him, and since then he never wanted to pursue a serious relationship with me. Even though technically I was free to see those other guys because I didn’t tell him about it till later he says he was very hurt. And a second thing that hurt his trust was Just about seven months ago, I tried to pursue another guy and it didn’t work out, and I did not tell this guy about that failed attempt till recently. All the while I was still seeing this guy, even though we were not in a committed relationship. I tried to date this other guy because I knew that he didn’t want a relationship with me. I knew he was on dating apps but nothing serious seemed to ever come of it. I was visiting his house, and he was all over me, till less than a week later he said that I could not visit him at his house anymore because it was no longer appropriate, and because he just started dating a new girl. It happened less than a week later that he started a new relationship after he had been physical with me and all over me. He said that I ruined his trust long ago and I did not try to regain it. I basically knew all along for 3 years that he didn’t trust me, and I was unsure at times if I wanted to date him, but we continued a friends with benefits situation since I really liked him and we had good chemistry. Yes months ago I told him about my failed attempt and heartbreak with another guy. He got a bit upset because I didn’t say what I had done till months later . He basically replaced me with another girl. Since he seemed to not trust me, I did try and pursue another option before but when that didn’t work out, and he left me for this other girl, I realized how much I miss and want him and how devastated I am.
I was very upset and I cried to him about it, I said I was sorry for omitting things from him, and he said he still wanted to be friends but I have not heard from him in over a month. He said we weren’t a good match and that “I am just mad at him for doing the same thing that I did” referring to trying to pursue something with someone else. It is really hurtful that he never trusted me enough to date me officially but he appears to recently meet this girl off a dating app that he gets into a committed relationship right way with, just throwing me away like I never was good enough. I am wondering if he is in a rebound relationship due to how fast he is with someone new and if there is any way to regain his trust and for him to come back, or if it is a lost cause. I have not spoken to him in three weeks and I plan on going no contact for at least a month or more. He has not reached out to me and I do not know if he will.
Meegee

July 29, 2020 at 7:20 am

I was with my partner for 13 years..2 kids…things were rocky for last year..then when given ultimatum to fix or leave..He left…straight into a new family with woman from work and her daughter. Our kids are now 50 50. All this in space of a weekend. He has now been in the new partnership and family just shy of 2 months. Is completely vindictive to me…they’ve booked a family holiday for October…and he refers to him and partner as..us and we….thoughts? Rebound?? He is doing things he would never do with me…holidays wining and dining…it all seems to have moved so fast with no regard for kids. For him or her….chances of survival working and living together

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

July 31, 2020 at 12:42 pm

Hi Meegee, sometimes when we’ve been in a long term relationship we move on quickly to fill the void that we are used to having around. I would say if he moved on to the new woman within a month of your break up then yes it is a rebound, but if their relationship passes the 8 month mark then it is no longer a rebound and it is getting to a more committed point in their relationship. You need to work on yourself and your Holy Trinity to show your ex that you are doing great without him and focus on you and the kids. If you can sort out a way to take the kids away for a “holiday” then do so, even if it is just out of town for the weekend. Do things with them to show him you do not need him to be happy. Read about the being there method and use this information if you want to try and get your ex back

Kim

July 29, 2020 at 7:18 am

Hi

So my ex and I broke up in January because he was seeing someone else while still with me. After we broke up he then went public with her, but weeks later moved onto another girl other than her. During this time I had blocked my ex on WhatsApp because i was hurt. But he still had me on instagram. In March it was my birthday and I posted a picture which he then saw it and unfollowed me and then a week later requested to follow me again. During March and the whole of April we were all under lockdown due to Covid 19. In April he added my back on snapchat and was snapping me. However, i wasn’t reacting because I wanted him to talk to me. I then realised in April he broke up with the second girl. However towards the end of April he removed me from Snapchat, I couldn’t understand why. In May, I saw he had a new girl. I had unblocked him however i saw he deleted my number. I then unfollowed him off instagram because i didn’t want to see anything and get hurt. He’s been with this girl till now. Is this a rebound? Something tells me that it is. He’s only been changing his profile to her, something he never use to do. And now they have each others names in their bio. I haven’t spoken to him nor reached out. I’ve been in no contact for the past 7 months. I still have feelings for him and love him. Will he come back to me? I still want him

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

July 31, 2020 at 1:19 pm

Hi Kim, I would not say that this is a rebound as he has been with number of girls since you broke up. To put it bluntly I dont see him coming back to you if you do not do anything about it. 7months of no contact is too long. You need to read some more articles and follow the program if you want it to work for you

Louise

July 21, 2020 at 3:15 pm

I was with my partner for a little over a year. We previously dated 10 years ago when we where younger and he left for the army. Lost all contact and when he came back we got back together it was great. Towards the end of the relationship we broke it off a couple times because we where arguing a lot. We also had a lot of strain on our relationship due to external factors. We both really do love each other. I miss him like mad. It’s been two months now that we have broken up and we have kept in contact nothing serious, until 2 weeks ago he admitted he still had feelings he just couldn’t take the argument and see anything changing and it worries him. And we met up had a cuddle and cry… I then jumped to quick wanting to sort it(I know my mistake massively back fired) but to my knowledge he is seeing someone already and has been for a few weeks now. I’m devasted and I’m blocked on everything. I really didn’t want or think this would happen and I feel if I do no contact anyway it wouldn’t matter because I’m blocked. His new girl is the total opposite of me and I’m so worried he will forget about me and think she’s so much better in every way. I’m at a loss with what to do.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

August 11, 2020 at 2:52 pm

Hi Louise, from what you have said above I think you should go into a NC and then work on your Holy Trinity and show your ex that you are doing great with out him in your life. Read more articles that apply to your situation and then from there you can start your texting phase.

Precious Taylor

July 12, 2020 at 8:53 am

I had broken up with him several times, and we always get back together. He rushed the relationship and made me feel uncomfortable saying he loved me after 3 weeks and forcing me to say it back to him. He is always guarding his phone, and one time I tried to look at his phone and he didn’t say anything, but then he made me feel uncomfortable and started taking his phone around with him, I went on his facebook page, and he had too many women on there and when I asked him about it he privitized his friends. He lies too. I noticed lately that he deleted all his pictures on social media. He had started changing in June, and on June 17th he said he was breaking up with me because he didn’t trust me because I looked at his phone. Funny thing is I wanted to break up with him. He is unattractive, has poor hygiene. I was only with him for 7 months but he bought me everything. He would never make our relationship public and there were just too many red flags. I am glad it is over with and he still tries to call me and talk to me. But I want to just stop talking to him and oh by the way. He is hot and cold. Everything in my gut told me to run from this guy. I felt like I was settling.
Erin Wilson-Xayaosa

July 11, 2020 at 9:11 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me after 1 1/2 years. I was completely blindsided. We were just looking at houses! He was texting me per usual and he mentioned that he thought I seemed frustrated with the home buying process. I responded and said yes of course, it’s overwhelming etc but wanted him to know that I needed him to be my rock during difficult times, 6 hours later I finally got a response saying he needed to talk to me and get something off his chest. He came over and broke up with me. He lives 30 min away and he said he just felt exhausted driving back and forth and he said he just opened his eyes and he’s changed- he was selfish and wanted to his life to be just him and his so. (I take care of my mother who suffered a stroke and I’m a single mom) but I told him numerous times I felt maybe I was holding him back for that reason. He continuously asked me to stop saying that, that’s not how he felt. How could it take him 11/2 to figure it out? Anyhow, he told me he loved me and kissed me and left. He reached out and asked me if I would like to talk in person. We talked in person a week later again he hugged me and kissed me like nothing changed and told me he loved me. Didn’t speak then he sent a text and asked how everything was with my son. Haven’t spoken since and even though he unfriended me from social media, I did see that he changed his profile pic of him and a new woman (which is completely out of character for him, he never had a profile pic of him and any woman that I can remember) anyhow, after my novel….I’m still madly in love with him. Can you provide any advice to get him back?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

August 5, 2020 at 11:15 pm

Hi Erin, I would suggest that you follow the program if you want to get him back. That starts with a No Contact, it is a difficult situation where you have responsibilities to consider, to which I suggest that you put first of course. But also take some time to work on yourself and show that you are Ungettable.

Emma

July 3, 2020 at 8:13 pm

I was with my partner for 15 years 2 years ago he left me out of the blue and moved on with someone else after 6 weeks we got back together then 5 weeks ago he leaves again saying he’s not happy again out if the blue I’ve since found out he’s with another different person but states this happened 2 weeks after we split they both like party’s and drug taking and I’m not like that we have a son together and my ex blames me for everything that went wrong in breakup and taking no responsibility he says he never cheated but I’m unsure cos how else could he of met her when we are in lockdown he was always out partying he also never told me about her I found out by chance
Courtney Dixon

July 1, 2020 at 6:05 am

My ex and I were together for 13 years with 4 kids. We broke up and 2 weeks later he was dating. It’s now been 9 months and he told me 2 months and yet w split that he was going to marry her and have children with her. He has said awful things to me and I believe he intentionally wants to hurt me. I’m not sure if this is a rebound relationship but how could he hurt me this way. He constantly tells me “ we are going to get married and have kids” knowing it breaks my heart. Is this rebound or has he really moved on. A few weeks ago, I told him I was dating and it is getting serious. Well he through it in my face when I needed him to help me with my truck. He said to ask the guy I’m serious with…with an attitude. Why is this when he expressed his love for his new girl. I’m confused
Devon

June 20, 2020 at 5:16 pm

My gf and I were close to our 3 year anniversary. A year ago I lost my job and got into a car accident. On top of that, my mother who is mentally ill had to stay with us because otherwise she would be in a literal homeless shelter. We also have a 1 year old together. My gf became stressed and unhappy and she expressed this to me. I tried to pick up part time work while joining a one year school program which pays a stipend and provided a job at the end.

She gave me time to finish but gave up right near the end. Right as my job is a week out from starting and my mom found an apartment and is moving as we speak. She broke it off with me and I seeing a guy who is 20 ( we’re 25 and 26 respectively and one of her issues was maturity with me). She works with him but she really started to talk o home two weeks before we broke up.

I can’t seem to get out of boyfriend mode as I will do literally anything for her but she is obviously somewhere else right now. When life hit me it hit her too, but I climber back in a year.

Is this a rebound? Is there an opportunity for us to get back together. She said it may happen one day but does no want me to live life assuming we will. What do I do? My brain won let me focus on myself for more than an hour at a time.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

July 7, 2020 at 6:08 pm

Hi Devon by the sounds of it the new guy is a rebound but it is also an escape from the stresses you are both under right now. It sounds as if the hard times have been too much for her to cope with even though you did your best. Just follow the program starting with limited no contact, only speak to her about your child and make sure that they do not go without while you are apart. Understand that when you are there doing things for her, even though you are not together you are showing her that she holds the power, you need to make her think you have accepted its over and start to appear to be doing your own thing. The program is your best chance of getting her back

Kristen

June 20, 2020 at 2:21 pm

My ex fiancé and I were together a year and half. We were suppose to be getting married in Aug. He started talking to a new girl he met online. He was than confused and left for 4 days to think things over. He choose this girl he had been talking to for 9 days. We lost a baby (4-11-20) at 20 weeks gestation and there were no signs of problems with the relationship. He left end of May and is now introducing this other woman as his girlfriend. We still live together and have different rooms. He claims he had been unhappy for months, but renewed our lease for the apartment, booked a DJ for the wedding, ordered the invitations with me. Is this just a rebound relationship? His choices make no sense.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

July 4, 2020 at 12:11 am

Hey Kristen he could have got cold feet about the commitment he is making. However you need to work on your holy trintiy for 45 days and then start the being there method

Abby

June 15, 2020 at 11:47 am

My ex and I were together for a year and a half. We broke up and he started talking to “ow” right after we broke up for about 3-4 months. We started communicating again and he left her to come back to me and told me they had a friendly relationship and was in love with me. We dated again for about 6 months then he broke up with me again and said he still had feelings for her and that was the reason of him breaking up, along with blaming me for some recent fights. We had been having some problems for a couple weeks leading up to the breakup and now I feel as though he’s experiencing the grass is greener affect. Is there such thing as the same rebound twice or does he really have stronger feelings for her?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 15, 2020 at 7:41 pm

Hi Abby, if he was in contact with him through your second relationship with him then she could have been doing the being there method – which is something we have on this website if you want to read about it. Yes he could have grass is greener as he went back to the same girl another time. You need to complete a 45 days No Contact working on yourself and being Ungettable. Then from there you need to implement the being there method if you want him back at the end of your 45days

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2,943 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”