6 Signs That Prove Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (And What To Do With Them)

2,943 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”

NO NAME

August 20, 2015 at 2:26 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex broke up with me back in April. We broke up last year also for 3 months but got back together to continue our 3.5 year relationship. Everything was going well and we were happier. Then out of blue he left saying he loved me but was not happy. I now believe he is in another relationship and has been with her since June. This is a girl he knew previously. Would this be classed as a rebound relationship? Friends tell me they think he is depressed and just doesn’t know what he wants or what makes him happy, I obviously want him back but is this even possible, especially if he is in a rebound relationship?
tracey

August 19, 2015 at 11:18 am

hi
I have an intresting one for you. I was in a relationship with my ex for 10 yrs, a couple of breakups, but never for long as he always wanted to remain friends.
Well back in May, i aske him to move back to his parents, as he had a drink problem, that deep down ive always had a problem with. I only asked him to move out as he wouldnt get the help, or stop drinking while he lived with me. He would hide his drinking and steal drink from my daughters room where she had to hide it. so i explained to him that it was for the best, as i didnt want to end up hating him, because i loved him.
well 2 weeks later i saw him with another woman in our local, itryed to phone him and text but didnt get an answer. Thw next day i get a text message, telling me he has met sombody else, her family have excepted him, and could i never contact him again. It has been very hard, and very emotional at times, and i have sent a few messages, with no reply, or telling me to go away he has move on.
The thing i cant get my head round is he is marrying this woman next month. haw an earth can he forget about me this quickly, and will it last?
Melissa Marie

August 16, 2015 at 12:43 am

hi chris!!
Im going crazy over the fact that i was with my boyfriend for 2 years and he left me for some other girl. (i later find that she was facebook stalking him so clearly shes obsessed with my man)… The thing is, we were madly in love at many points of our relationship. and i have anger issues so i would get violent when we fought. and this always scared him. and one day he told me that hes been talking to a girl we are mutually friends with and i got jealous because she hasnt been talking to ME. just him… so i messaged her whats up and she told me shes coming into town to hang out with the both of us and i said thats awesome. (thinking theres nothing suspicious because she seems realllly nice). (obviously im an idiot.) Anyway, i had a really weird feeling in my gut that she would take my man away to travel around with her so i told him about it and his response was “SO?”, in a very careless tone. i let it go because i felt bad about fighting with him earlier that morning (ill admit i was being cruel that day). next thing ya know, shes in town and its too late at night for me to see her. SO, i wait till the next morning to hang out with her and my boyfriend. AND THEYRE GONE. i cant find my bf anywhere or his best friend OR the girl. hours later he texts me that hes on his way up north and she landed him a GREAT paying job trimming marijuana plants up north. he says hes hell be back for me. then i dont hear from him for 2 weeks. then he randomly messages me he misses me and wants to see me…….then i dont hear from him again for a few weeks. NOW IM FINDING OUT through a FRIEND that theyre dating. him and the girl he left with are together. Is she his rebound girl? was he so upset about the fight we had before he left that he would get with this girl who is obviously really nice to him because shes obsessed with him? I tried to make this as short as possible…sorry.

Melissa Marie

August 19, 2015 at 8:48 pm

I wrote “i would get violent and this always scared him” but what i meant is that it made him run away when we fought out of fear that he would go to jail since people would call the cops on him and not me. Weve had this scare before. I do admit to having a problem. I ended the physical fighting in our relationship but started a screaming instead. Im working on it. Has he moved on or is he playing mind games? making me think hes moved on. She was posting things on facebook about their “happiness” but he wasnt posting anything at all. and we have a friend in another city that told me he sent her a message saying “what are you up to beautiful? just broke up with my girl and im up north making so much money…blah blah blah”. I think im making myself blind to the obious facts that hes over me BUT maybe hes just trying to make me jealous by contacting people that I KNOW and telling them things that he knows will get back to me.
Melissa Marie

August 19, 2015 at 8:36 pm

ive concidered help. But what do you think the situation is with him? should i give up?
Chris Seiter

August 17, 2015 at 9:53 pm

I would advise you to get professional help with anger management.

Lauren

August 13, 2015 at 12:42 pm

Hi Chris,

So my ex is 100% in a rebound relationship. I don’t believe that he is sexually interested in this girl (though I know that she throws herself at him CONSTANTLY). I do believe that he is just trying to ‘fill the void’ and build up his ego. He and I were together for five years and although we had some hard times, I believe that his overall impression of the relationship was positive. This new girl is a significant step down from me in every way; however, because she is ‘troubled’ (whereas I am fairly well adjusted), she poses a ‘problem’ for him to solve. Because we were living together I was unable to cut off contact with him. We have been getting along quite well, however, in the time we spent together since the breakup. He continually reached out to me for emotional support, and his body language betrayed that he still considers me HIS. I am baffled by his behavior…He has never been a ‘player’…..yet I can’t help but feel like I’m being played. He has always been such an amazingly nice guy… I’m just so confused/exhausted by him. Is this just a phase, or has he turned into a bad guy? Am I wrong to think that this new relationship won’t last? I truly think that he wants me back…. Sorry for being so neurotic. I just don’t GET this 🙁

Chris Seiter

August 13, 2015 at 12:57 pm

It sounds like it wont last. It doesn’t sound like he’s trying to play you, sounds like he misses you but is confused. Try no contact with him since he’s in a rebound relationship.

The Runner

August 11, 2015 at 10:23 pm

My Ex boyfriend and I dated all throughout high school and a year in college, total of four and half years. It has been a year since we have broken up and I am still hung up on him. We go to the same college because I transferred for him last year so I see him all the time. But last year we started to fight a lot mainly because at that point we were in a long distance relationship and things were starting to change some. He did get me a promise ring but took it back, because he did not think we were ready. But finally he broke it off with me last summer (as I was going to attend his college in the fall) he said he needed a break, which I agreed with because I thought we did as well. And then two months later he dated a girl we were also kind of fighting about. When I found out I did do something I was not suppose to do I said some mean words to him and then a couple days later he did block me on Facebook. But a couple months before they broke up he accidentally liked one of my photos on Facebook (I have it so the settings are set to public). Their relationship lasted about six months. And then he was single again for another two months, but within that two months he would start waving to me and saying Hi to me he texted me a few times about assignments in classes (we go to a small college I end up having one or more classes with him). I mean at the time as well he was also talking to another new girl, while asking me questions. Normally if he is with someone he will not talk to me if he doesn’t have to at least. Finally they did end up dating and they have been for about three months now. So what I want to know, was that him reaching out to me and I missed my chance to get him back? Is there still something I can do? I know his mom is very controlling and she did not like me and I believe there is an influence there on him. I know it has been a year, but I still want him back.

Thank you for your help!
Alejandra

August 8, 2015 at 1:24 am

is my ex playing mind games or am I reading too much into it?So I was curious about my ex, i blocked him everywhere after he dumped me, and am currently in no contact, have been for almost a week. We’ll when I check his twitter, he had tweeted booty is life, and he was obsessed with my ***, he also tweeted I wish I could go back and do things the right way. But after that he talked to his ex, the one before me and he hates her, he had blocked her and now he’s talking to her??? Then he tweets a phone number and I think to myself hey maybe it’s his new phone number and this is his way of letting me know cause he wants me to call so I put it into my contacts because I do have plans of calling him in the future to exchange belongings but when I go into whataspp and see this so called number it was a female!! A girl modeling in underwear. If it’s his number I get that he tweets it but a girls number, what’s the point of tweeting a number that’s not yours, why would he tweet that girls number , I can’t help to think it’s because he wants a reaction out of me. Cause mostly during our relationship I was the one doing the chasing, we had a great relationship full of honesty no cheating no nothing but I was too controlling and during a bad argument I guess he just got tired of arguing over the same things but I know he loves me. But has a hard time seeing a future with me.
And now he tweeted hey bae she say, so he’s obviously talking to another girl, but it’s only been 7 days since we broke up, he’s putting that stuff on social media so I see it and do something or is he just trying to hurt me?

Chris Seiter

August 17, 2015 at 6:30 pm

It sounds like he might be trying to hurt you and she is a rebound. Continue with No contact, your doing good. Ignore his tweets.

Nicole

August 2, 2015 at 6:14 pm

Hi, I was just curious if my ex may be in a rebound relationship. After reading this page, I think he may have had the girl on the back burner before ending things with me because she has came up once before. Anyways, he abprubtly ended things with me with little to no explaination and was with this new girl immediately after. It’s only been a month with her and me & him were together for close to two years. All this makes it seem like she is in fact a rebound. We haven’t talked since the break up, he has texted me once about something but it wasn’t anything like “I miss you” or “hi” however I did not answer. So I guess in summary I want to know if he could be with a rebound. The main points, our relationship was almost 2 years in the making, the rebound had been for a month so far, there has been barely no contact, he still follows me on social media, I still talk to his family & he still talks to mine, he left the relationship suddenly and with very minimal explaination as to why. Any opinion will be useful!
kare

August 2, 2015 at 3:28 pm

Hi Chris,
my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me a month ago….citing stress and he was upset that i wanted a commitment. I just found out he has been dating someone for a month and he told me he loved her. That is crazy to me….oh and he wouldnt really give me closure, when we had the talk i asked him to tell me that he did not want to see me so i could move on….he said no he could not do that. We were no contact for two weeks and i sent him a text asking him to mail me my housekeys( meanwhile he is in this relationship already) also the women put her self into a relationship on facebook a week after dating him…..is this weird or what?

Chris Seiter

August 12, 2015 at 8:56 pm

It sounds like a rebound. Don’t worry to much about it. Let it run its course and do no contact and use facebook to add in a little jealousy if you can.

Holy Moly

July 31, 2015 at 12:01 pm

Ok. So my soon to be ex husband of 7 years is not in a rebound relationship even after he started dating the woman 2 months after we split. Very happy we are getting a divorce then – coz obviously our little family meant nothing to him.

Desiree

August 9, 2015 at 12:31 am

My ex fiancé and I were together for almost 3 years and he went back to his ex from 3 years ago pretty much the same week he left me. He told me that she’s the only girl he truly loved and I need to move on. Then about a month after the break up, and very little contact (we have a daughter together) and we begin to talk though text message. He tells me that he misses me, he loves me, and wants to be with me but he doesn’t think we’ll get back together but he “can’t tell the future” I’ll admit, we hooked up once since our break up and in a way it’s brought us closer. We can only talk when his girlfriend isn’t around (which is almost all the time) and when he’s at work. He’s been really generous towards me like when we were dating. He’s been calling me pet names, and even brought up our relationship, asking what will change if him and I got back together. But whenever he’s at his apartment, he tells me he wants to be friends. I’m really confused, is she a rebound or is he serious about her?
Chris Seiter

August 6, 2015 at 10:16 pm

Sorry to hear that. What can I help you with?

Confused

July 30, 2015 at 12:34 am

Hi Chris,
My ex and I dated for 3 months but had a very intense relationship. We spent every other day together, he introduced me to his child, and had conversations about the future. We were cooking together, I cooked for his son, and he wanted to trust me with certain lifestyle choices and things. He plays a sport over seas and is going to leave in about a month. He then turned everything on me and blamed me for the end of the relationship. A couple of days ago, I found out he was dating someone who is COMPLETELY the opposite of me a week after we broke up. Is this a rebound? I am implementing the NC period and I am on day 16. I haven’t broken it and have no plan to but I would like to know if this woman is a rebound and if he will reach out…what to do?
N.

July 26, 2015 at 8:08 pm

Hello, Chris.

I was hesitant to comment on any of these posts as it’s a little bit embarrassing to come and share my story to people I don’t really know, but I guess I’m a little desperate for some personal feedback at this point. My ex, a man I am hopelessly in love with, dated for two and a half years. It was very passionate, and we loved each other deeply, EVERYTHING was amazing. We had a lot of experiences together, I have most of his stuff, he has some of mine. But, suddenly he broke up with me one day over a Facebook message. We haven’t seen each other, and it’s been about two months since the breakup. He gave me a bunch of reasons, said he didn’t want a relationship going into the military, said I was to make it all easier, and finally he said he didn’t love me anymore.

About two weeks after the relationship he’s dating this girl. He felt like I needed to know, so he told me personally, and he said he still wanted to be friends. Of course, being hopeful, I agreed to the friendship. About a month into it, I see that his new girl has changed her picture to the two of them kissing. Of course it hurts, so just yesterday I decided to go no contact. He felt that I had no right to be sad over the two of them because of how I still loved him, so I’m taking time for me. I’m very confused about how to think and obviously, I have several questions. We loved each other so deeply, he just tossed the relationship and found someone immediately; it doesn’t make sense.

If you could help me and answer some questions, I’d be eternally grateful. He had said he got over me, but could he just be in a rebound with this girl? He started with her after two weeks so that seems a little fast. Also, he’s leaving for basic training in October, is there any chance I might be able to get him back before he leaves, or is that just a hopeless situation coupled with the new girlfriend? I’ve read almost all of your articles several times over, but I’m not entirely confident without a personal opinion. (Not dragging on your articles, they’ve actually helped me keep as calm as possible.) And yes, I am starting my no contact, is it too late for that? Please, any help would be very greatly appreciated. Apologies that this message is so long.
Bela

July 25, 2015 at 2:21 am

Hi,

I broke up with my boyfriend of over 3 years about 3 months ago, cause id been feeling unsure about us for a while. He is 7 years younger, and although he wanted to settle down with me and always commented about the future, i let little things bother me (like him sleeping in all the time!) come between us and i deliberately pushed him away and made things tense between us when they didnt need to be. Obviously there were other things that bothered me, but now that ive truly lost him (i told him 6 weeks ago i wanted him back, and he doesnt want me anymore), i realise how stupid ive been, how much i love him, and how i want to spend the rest of my life with him. For the first month after we broke up we were both upset but still txtd every day, he was still caring and still said i love you. I didnt expect my feelings to change so soon, and once they did things became tense, i caused stupid arguments (through jeaulousy), and i pushed him away! I left it too late to say what was really going on in my mind (i wanted to be sure), and i think the reason he made a u-turn is because he’s seeing someone else. But i dont want to know for certain, because ive been feeling so depressed and dont know how id handle it. I cant bear not being with him, and what makes it harder- we work together. Im actually going to get some therapy because i cant stand this feeling anymore. He’s such an honest, decent guy, and still talks to me in work and obviously cares, but how can he push away the feelings he had for me? He adored me, and i know he loved me more than anything, and i broke his heart.
Sah

July 23, 2015 at 3:31 pm

Hey Chris ! English is not my first language (I’m Brazilian) so I’ll try my best to explain things in a way you can understand and maybe give me some advice. While I was backpacking around Europe I met a guy in a pub, and we hit it off instantly. We spent the night together (no sex) and he told me that he had just ended a 1 year and a half relationship ( they were leaving together as well.) So from the begginning I knew that we were only going to have some fun also I wouldn’t think about something serious since I live thousands of miles away. The thing is, as time went by, we continued our “non-relationship” seeing each other every other weekend and it was amazing. We like the same things, same sense of humor, amazing sex 🙂 we started going on short trips, like romantic ones, and in one of those times he said that for the first time he realized he could have fun with girls. Then said that he didn’t have that with his ex. I asked him in a very light way if he was really sure it was over, and he said and I quote “Ohh, I’m not getting back to that” ding ding ding. I know I shouldn’t but I really thought “YAY me, I’m awesome.”haha Anyway, 3 weeks after that we were cuddling in his flat watching TV and out of nowhere he said “I’m not looking for a girlfriend” Ouch that hurt more than I had expected. I didn’t say anything and he continued “I mean, is not like you would stay here right? Your going back to your country right? I said yes, and the only thing I said was “You were right about bringing this up, you made it real.” But in the middle of the night I cried to myself, it hurts so much to know you are nothing but a rebound, that he’s using you for sex and other things, althought I knew from the begginning there was no way he could be serious right after the end of a serious relationship. I thought about not talking to him again, but then I thought it it better. I knew it was just a fling, right? So what if he’s using me, I’m having a great time, so I’ll continue using him as well. And it went on. I was in Europe for 4 months, and even after saying he didn’t want anything serious I met his parents, brothers and such, I even got invited to go to his uncle birthday. (Which I did). We spent valentines day together. My last weekend in Europe we spent together in a hotel on the coast. It was amazing, but at the same time pretty sad, cause we knew it was time to say goodbye. I HATE myself for crying but I couldn’t help it. Later on he texted me thanking for all the amazing times we had together. He even listed his highlight moments. I apologize for all the “drama that morning” (crying at goodbye) saying it was harder than I had expected. He said it was pretty hard for him too, that I was special and wished me a good flight and finished with “Also, who knows what will happen in the future?!” I cried the whole flight back. How could I’ve let myself fall for this guy ?? Anyway…we made no plans, no nothing. I texted him 3 times in a 2 month period about very light subjects, and he answered me politely. But he would never initiate anything. So I stopped, thinking that I wouldn’t talk to him again unless he talked to me first. Unfollowed him on facebook and made myself a rule of NEVER checking his profile, I didn’t want to know anything about his life, knowing I couldn’t do anything about it. ANYWAY (Chris are you with me so far or just gave up reading ? haha) After 1 month and 14 days he texted me out of nowhere, asking how I was, what I was doing and that he misses me. Lol I did the NC rule without even knowing I was doing it, having discovered your website only 2 days ago (I loved it, and devoured all posts and guides hehe you rock!) We ended up talking about intimate situations and stuff (Ohhh if I had known your page sooner he wouldn’t be getting any from mama here!) We made plans to talk on skype. I was really happy he contacted me. So I went to check his facebook profile. AND BANG ! He’s dating a girl for over 1 or 2 months !!Ouch, it hurt. So why oh WHY would he contact me if he is seeing someone else? ME, being at the other side of the ocean. Is it just because he wanted a cyber quickie?! He could have had that on a sex chat room for crying out loud! I didn’t contact him at all after that talk, its been almost one week since he texted me and he said that he is going to text me again tomorrow. I dont know what to do. He knows that I intend to move to Europe for good, but not for him, never, but because I want to live there since forever..but I would gladly continue what we started 5 months ago.I do not need him, but I really want him. I have feelings for him still. I don’t know what his intentions are contacting me while dating and after almost 2 months without talking to each other. I really need a guys insight on this. Do I answer his call tomorrow ? Am I that easy to him? Is it that he just wants reassurance or a ego boost? Could he be starting to think that after all he has feelings for me?Could this new girl be a rebound of the rebound? Does such a thing even exist?!haha Could a rebound (me) become something more on the long run? Did you even understand my text with all the grammar mistakes ?! Hahah Thx Chris your site is really helping me. Keep on the amazing work (also if you ever feel like extending your range of readers by creating a translation area in your site I’d be more than happy to help you translating texts to portuguese 🙂 100.5 million women down here I’m sure could use your guides hehe) Greetings from Brazil !

Sah

August 1, 2015 at 1:12 pm

Hey Chris, they’ve been dating for 2 months . Thx !
Chris Seiter

July 30, 2015 at 3:38 pm

I think I will at one point get down to translating content into different languages but for now I am doing the best with what I can.

How long has he been dating the new girl exactly?

Brianna

July 21, 2015 at 4:33 pm

I am trying to figure out if I was the rebound girl….or if he is rebounding yet again. We were seeing each other 3 months on a regular basis (meeting friends, calling me every night, he was never shady or made me feel like just a hookup since we relied on each other for emotional support on personal things in our lives. Overall it was healthy). 3 months in he told me he was scared of getting into a relationship because he associates them with pain and getting hurt. He couldn’t go through another breakup like he had in the past and unfortunately he gets these flare ups of feeling trapped which causes him to shut down and put up walls. We ended things because I knew I wanted a healthy relationship and he clearly didn’t. He made it clear that him not being ready was not about wanting to be free to see other people and he wouldn’t be dating for a while. He said he needed to fix himself and I couldn’t do it for him. Come to find out 6 weeks later he is back on a dating site! Was he lying just to soften the blow or was I a rebound? Or is he rebounding with someone else now too? The whole thing boggles my mind. I know he had strong feelings for me and I know he cared about me deeply. I have been so sad since this ended and he is able to just start dating again. I don’t know how men do this.
Talmont

July 21, 2015 at 12:05 pm

Hi,
My ex boyfriend just broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. Yes we had our ups and downs but for the most part we were alright so I thought. So we got into an argument on a Friday night and I didn’t reach back out to him until Monday morning, trying to give us both some time to cool off. So when I called him everything was fine. We were talking like nothing ever happened cause that’s what we do, we let it blow off. So all of a sudden he says baby let me call u back and I say why..he claimed he gad to use the restroom and before I could say anything else he hung up on me. So I called him back twice but I didn’t get an answer. So finally he called me back and I asked him what was going on and that’s when he told me that he was done with the relationship, he didn’t want it anymore because he was tired of the arguments and. Which really didn’t make since because we had not argued in a while since that Friday night. So I begged and pleaded with him but he wouldn’t budge so I slept it off. The next day my friend that lives next door to him called me to ask me was I over his house and I told her know and she said she was asking because some girls were over there. So my mind is all over the place at this point. So I go over there but before I got there I called his phone just to see if he would answer and he didn’t . So I got to his house and he was sitting on his porch with his phone in his hand. And I asked him which one was his girlfriend and he pointed at her. My heart dropped to the floor and I just kept asking him how long because I never even saw it coming, he broke up with me on that monday and was with her on Tuesday he tried to make it seem like my fault when all the time he was plotting with her. He says he wants to be my friend and the last time I talked to him he was saying how he made a big mistake and that he was not happy but he still didn’t make any moves with me. I’ve also been in the hospital for surgery a couple of days after he broke up with me and he called to check up on me about 3 times. Then after i got home he called like 2 times to see how i was doing. I still love him and it’s hard to let him go. Is she a rebound or did he just find a new love? What should I do?

Talmont

July 21, 2015 at 12:07 pm

We were together 4 years

Sydny

July 19, 2015 at 4:05 pm

Hey chris, me and my boyfriend dated back in 2014 for 6 months. We broke up and he dated a girl he said he barely liked for 4 months. Then we got back together after and he said the usual “it was always you” and we dated again for about 7 months so we dated a total of a year. And within that year we had an emotional connection like no other. He asked me to marry him and then weeks later I think commitment scared him and we ended up not moving in together and breaking up a week ago. He said he went to see that girl he dated back in Fort Wayne but he visited his mom first and he so happened to visit her the same time. It feels as though he set up his rebound like how you discussed. I am completely done with him, and will never go back just because of the way he ended things and how disrespectful he was. He basically got her on the phone to dump me. And I’m wondering how he’s in a new relationship a week later.. When he said he never loved her. How long do you think before he notices she’s a rebound and he cannot establish a real connection ? I’m just wondering how long they’ll date
Elsie

July 19, 2015 at 3:03 pm

Chris-
I’ve been here too often before, typing comments and erasing them. Feeling the need to rehash my recent relationship issues. I guess I could brief everyone on the almost 3 year relationship. We are both 24 years old. We grew up together and had rekindled our childhood friendship over Facebook. Once we got together to be nogstalgic and test the waters, we soon realized that we craved one another. We spent everyday together for what seemed like 6 months straight. We took things slow despite the fact of indulging in the constant need to spend time together. He was everything I could have wanted, he made me feel as if I were something that was to be achieved. Introducing me to anyone and everyone, taking me on picnics and other activities I enjoy. About a year into this relationship, I found out that he suffered from addiction, something I wasn’t for but I he loved him and felt deceived. I guess this was the moment I chose to believe his lies rather than trust my initial ‘gut’ intuition. He said he didn’t tell me he struggled with addiction because I would have never given us a chance. And that he had been ‘weening himself off’ ever since we decided to start dating. I suffer from guilt of my own in this relationship. Even though he had betrayed me I chose to stay with him and fight for us because he had given me exactly what I could have wanted it of relationship and I wanted to believe that he truly had made a change in his life. To be the man, I needed, someone to share a life with. My guilt was getting scared of this commitment, I went out with girlfriends one night and shared a kiss with someone and shouldn’t have. This guilt ate me alive until I shared it with him, in which he chose to forgive me yet hold this over my head for quite sometime. After this I had out my all into this relationship just to be hurt in return which seemed to be on repeat. For the past year, he has treated me with such lack of respect. I’ve found another girls earring in bed, found him in bed with another girl and his guy friend, and other things that I made excuses for him and believed whatever he had to say as long as it was justified. We broke up last year for a couple of months because I felt like a punching bag. Not only was he capable of treating me this way I was allowing him to, he called it quits when I became depressed and he said he couldn’t be what I needed. This is when I should have let go, but couldn’t because I hang on to false hope. Maybe because he was my first childhood crush and I keep thinking of the man he deceived me to believe he was. But after being broke up for those months this year he crept back into my life, in which I allowed, only to pick me up to put me down yet again. I guess I felt as if I deserved this because I had previously wronged him. But I let him back only to feel more worthless and self esteem beaten down. We had trust issues of course, and I couldn’t believe a word he said because he continued to lie even though he promised me honesty. He deprived me of any affection the past 3 months, no matter my attempts. It has made me feel like I wasn’t pretty enough or fun enough. Because I don’t like to go out and party. Our relationship has finally ended a month ago after me finding pills that he had told me was one time thing. This I couldn’t allow myself to believe. But the fact that he kept me around not even wanting to touch me and seeming miserable has got me questioning every little thing about myself. Especially since now he is in another relationship, who is introducing to his family and friends. I guess it’s hard because he kept me under the wraps for the past 3 months to only show off someone else now. I just keep questioning why would he give up a whole hearted, caring, respectable relationship just to jump into another? I guess it hurts because I invested so much and I understand what we had wasn’t anything special, it was destructive and chaotic. I’ve only texted him once this past month when I found out about his new found girl. Just explaining to him how I was hurt and blamed myself for believing that he would fulfill those empty promises of honesty, love and whatever else. It was clear he didn’t want commitment because he would tell me that we didn’t need to talk everyday or see each other everyday because we had the rest of our lives to do that. I guess I’m hurt because he’s moved on pretty quick when I’m grieving someone I lost sometime ago and continue to make excuses for him. I want to believe that one day he’ll find that person he once strives to be but I know people don’t change. This was my first something serious and I guess I’m reaching out because I don’t know how to let go and why it seems so much harder than moving on. I know several women go through this and I should be lucky that they’re were no children involved or that I didn’t invest more of my time. But I guess whether or not he mad moves on, I need to know how to begin on drawing a line in the sand so there won’t be any going back. Even though I’d wish he would. So any advice and relatable experiences I’ll take, something to make the hurt pass and so ill stop with the self infliction of pain.
MIA

July 16, 2015 at 4:25 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex and I were together for 6 years & living together 1year. He broke up with me because he said we lost the “spark”. I did NC for a whole month and we slowly started talking again. Shortly after, I found out through mutual friends that he was dating someone new. This person is also older then him and is a single mom. He still has photos of me on his social media which confuses me. I’ve attempted to reach out to him once not expecting him to reply since he suggested, we cut off communication. He surprisingly was responsive to me. At this point I’m extremely confused. He didn’t admit to dating her until it was accidentally blurted out by someone else and he was pretty upset I found out that way. Is she a rebound? From what It seems like to me she’s pretty into him and has already introduced him to her kid. It’s been so difficult to wrap my head around this. I was really trying to win him back during the NC and it seems it back fired on me. Now I don’t know what approach to take next. I fear the “spark” we according to him lost has been replaced with something new and exciting which can be intimidating.
Nychelle

July 8, 2015 at 5:14 pm

So my boyfriend broke it off with me after being together for 2 years. The same day he found another girl but since she doesn’t live here he doesn’t want to date her. I asked him if we would ever change his mind about me and he said probably. I am not sure what to do in this situation.
D

July 4, 2015 at 9:58 pm

Last week my (gay) partner of 22 years told me that he had been seeing someone for 4 weeks and was leaving to move in with him. The day after that the new boyfriend ended it then the next day they are back together. Such a mess!
He has left our lovely home, good lifestyle, car etc to be with someone in a bad part of town.
I am absolutely devastated and can’t believe he has given everything up. He is 48 and I think this is a Mid Life Crisis.
Surely he can’t compare 22 years to someone he hardly knows. This must certainly be a rebound and I truly hope he comes to his senses soon. He has not contacted me since and his departure was cold and cruel.

Chris Seiter

July 8, 2015 at 11:49 pm

22 years…

Wow, that is a long time. I am sorry that he is having this midlife crisis.

Have you attempted any form of the NC rule?

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